Hiding My Masked Affection

spockjasperzukowriting

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Hello people! I know I've been gone for over half a year but I'm back now and I just recently drabbled and wrote up this and decided to call it Chapter 10. It's probably not as polished as it should be, but I promise to start updating more frequently. Fanfiction writing is truly the best and I hope that you enjoy more Blue Spirit interaction. You guys are awesome and this is my apology for my absence. Thank you!

10

"Katara, are you okay?" Sokka nudged me gently. The world outside was darker than I had remembered. Stars flickered above my head in the night sky, a breeze ruffling the fur edges of my dress. Sokka was carrying me through the garden, his blue eyes almost glowing in the sable light. I squeezed my eyes shut as pain from the dream echoed inside me. My eyes were burning and my face ached. I pushed tighter into his arms. "No," I whimpered. "I want to go home."

"We are home," he whispered, a wooden ceiling replacing the freedom of the sky as he ascended the porch steps.

"No," I protested, hiding my face in his chest. "I want Gran-Gran. I want to go home."

Sokka didn't answer as he carried me inside. I heard multiple footsteps padding around us, some lighter than others. Everything was eerily silent, as if the world had been laughed at by the Fire Council too. How could they laugh in the face of me, a sixteen-year-old girl who's lost everything? Canren's cruel laughter tumbled in my ears. I wormed my fingers to hold my ears shut, naively believing that it would cut out the noise.

Aang's quiet voice sliced through the cackling, ending it abruptly. "I have friends at the docks that can arrange you a ship for home," he offered glumly.

"Thanks Aang, but what Katara needs now is rest. We'll talk more in the morning," Sokka answered, stopping briefly. "She's had a tough day."

I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut, images and memories of my grandmother's warm face stinging my eyes. I desperately clawed at my memories of home. I heaved a sigh when Sokka resumed walking, timing his steps like the rising and falling water of the ocean. A white mist overcame the sight of the back of my eyelids and I was calmed momentarily by the vision of the expansive, immaculate snow glittering in the pooling sunlight. Gales layered with white dust drifted across the crystalline water, numbing my nose and fingers.

"I don't understand why Canren's still in office," Suiya snapped angrily, pulling me painfully away from the memories. "Is he trying to be as bad as his predecessor, Admiral Zhao?"

"Suiya, hush," Hakoda whispered. Sokka started climbing the main-stairwell. I let my rage and defeat keep my mouth shut. I was still tired, too disoriented to even think about how to filter my mouth. I knew that if I started talking I'd say something that I might regret. I all ready regretted too many things at the moment to possibly add more to the lengthening list.

I dozed slightly, trying desperately to ignore the images running through my head and the sounds assaulting my ears. Canren's laughter haunted the visions of melting snow and a boiling red sun sucking the blue beauty from my home. I hated those visions. I wished they'd dissolve into thin air. I couldn't feel anything but miserable at the sickening sight of them.

There was a creak as Sokka pushed open my bedroom door, followed by a slow beat before I was turned upright and set down on my bed. I rubbed my eyes, slowly dropping my hands in my lap and inclining my head back to look at my brother. He was crossing his arms and studying me, waves of emotions lapping deep within his eyes.

"Can I trust you enough to put yourself to bed?" Sokka asked sceptically.

I nodded, anxiously awaiting my time alone. "Just go, Sokka," I mumbled, flopping backwards and sprawling on the bed-spread.

I winced as yellow light started creeping between my eyelids. "I'll leave some light on for you," Sokka explained. "Servants have left a basin of water for you, and for the sake of comfort, I'm opening your balcony. It's too cold in here."

I groaned, hauling myself up to give him narrowed eyes. "Sokka, I appreciate what you are doing, but I don't need to be mothered. I'm fine." My tone ended up being more irritated than I had hoped.

Sokka snorted. "I entirely doubt that. Good night," he replied curtly, exiting the room swiftly and closing the door quietly behind him.

I stood up and walked around, blinking to swell my perception of the world. I clutched my moonstone and took in deep breaths, drawing in power in time with my slowed heartbeat. After I had awoken enough to clean myself, I doused my face in water, scrubbing angrily at the salty lines the tears had left. I yanked my hair back into a bun, growling as my scalp stung at the unwanted pulling.

"Stupid, stupid council," I growled as I stuffed in my mother's hair-clip messily. "Three stupid weeks for a stupid answer."

Once done with my hair I scrambled across the room to dig through my backpacks, reaching in to find one of my old, common dresses. I didn't feel like wearing anything the Fire Nation had kept for me—anything the Fire Nation had made, dyed, and lied about coming from my homeland. I had to be as Water Tribe as possible.

I pulled on my faded blue dress and added darkened leggings beneath it, observing myself in the mirror extruding from between the folds of the dresses lining about it. I was myself once more. There was no Fire Nation in me. There could never be any Fire Nation in me.

I gazed deeply into my eyes, wondering if the pain I was suffering through was self-inflicted. I had been willing to come here. For the sake of my father. For the sake of Suiya. For the sake of Sokka.

When would I start realizing what was good and bad for me?

I wiped away strands of hair from my forehead and decided to finish off my night-time preparations. I walked over to the lit candle sitting on the desk beside the closet, wanting to snuff it out to allow the full radiance of the moonlight to set everything aglow. I loathed the golden tinge the candle added to my pale room. It was too—too...

Fire Nation, I thought bitterly.

I swiped my fingers over the flickering flame, cutting out the tongue of fire and ending the reign of golden light in my room. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply. Much better.

I turned on the balls of my feet, recalling the direction I had to walk along in order to reach my bed. Ignoring the ache in my chest, I opened my eyes.

The room was truly beautiful in the moonlight. Cracks and streaks of silver edged the pearly faces of the bone-white furniture, illuminating the rounded circles and crescents made by the moon wallpaper. White, grey, and liquid silver trickled across the deepened brown of the wooden floor, running along the planks and trimming the fur rugs draped to cover the skilled architecture of the room. It wasn't home, but the more Water Tribe I breathed into my room, the more Water Tribe it would become.

I eyed my bed unrelentingly. I finally sighed and started towards my balcony, gently setting myself down on the velvet couch lining the railing. I leaned on the railing, resting my chin on my folded arms, and stared at the waxing moon. It was bigger than it had been on the night of the attack, expanding over the black covering her full beauty.

An unwanted tear slipped from my eye. Home was all I wanted. Was it too much to ask of Aang to send me back?

I closed my eyes as my back started tingling. Someone was behind me— I could feel the heat emanating from the body running laps up and down my spine. My neck pricked under the gaze of the person staring at me.

I sighed, squeezing my eyes further shut. "Sokka, I'm okay," I assured, unsure why my brother couldn't leave my side when I wanted him too.

The presence remained, unmoving as ever. I could almost imagine my brother raising an eyebrow at me sarcastically. He would say something mordant at any moment now.

But the comment never came.

I opened my eyes and growled, frustrated. "Sokka, seriously, what do you—"

I gasped as I turned around, laying my gaze over who really was my visitor. The Blue Spirit stood quietly at the mouth of the balcony, his arms folded as he stared at me softly. The usual hidden malice in his black eyes was gone, and instead gave off the calm resignation of slight sadness and pity.

"Spirit," I choked, trembling in embarrassment. "I thought you—"

I closed my mouth and gulped. He wasn't stupid. He knew I didn't know it was him.

He cocked his head sideways and looked at me questioningly, unfolding his arms and leaving them at his sides. He was strangely relaxed. Was it disappointment? Did he know that I gave him away to the Fire Lord?

He swiftly strode up to me and sat down at my side, the moonlight highlighting the features of his mask painted white and deepening the subtle blues framing them. I held his gaze as he slowly raised his hand and wiped the tear from my cheek. He inclined his head to look at it, and then quickly looked back at me. A desire for answers moulded his posture, curving his shoulders inward as he focused his attention on me.

My lip trembled. "I saw the Fire Lord today," I said quickly. "I told him about the attack and how you saved me. Everyone knows."

The Blue Spirit remained motionless, a minute tensing constricting his shoulders. Indecision? Or perhaps I took him off guard?

I looked at the ground. "I understand if you're mad at me. They were laughing at me, and I didn't want to tell them, but... They just... I messed up. I'm sorry. I'll understand if you leave."

There was a slight breeze and the warmth of his body disappeared. I shut my eyes, heartbroken. He left.

I looked up and stared at the vacant place next to me. I bit my lip and angrily balled my fists. Why did I tell him? I could've just lied! He would still be with me if I had just—

Long fingers curled around the edge of the railing as the Blue Spirit pulled himself up and over it, rotating on his wrist and crouching down where he had been sitting a few seconds before. He extended his hand and offered me the bundle of flowers he had just picked.

My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat. I recognized the coiled, orange petals of the flower. Aang had pointed it out to me while in the garden on the day of the attack. They were called Adine flowers. 'Adine' was Sun Warrior for 'forgiveness.'

I grinned, my expression painfully hopeful as I glanced up at him. "You forgive me?"

The Blue Spirit nodded once, re-offering me the freshly picked flowers. I took them, the soft stems curling up in my palm. They reacted to the hot weather of the Fire Nation by twisting in little ringlets upon themselves. The fiery orange petals almost glowed in the dark. I stood up and quickly walked over to my desk, placing the flowers in the vase next to the Forget-Me-Nots. I fluffed them out before turning around and smiling at the Blue Spirit. He stood on the balcony, admiring my little bouquet in surprise while rubbing the back of his neck shyly.

I blushed. It had never occurred to me that a masked warrior of the night would be shy.

He caught me gazing at him and quickly returned his hand to his side. He gestured for me to come over, and like the tug of a puppeteers fingers on the strings, I sprinted over to join him at the balcony.

My moonstone sparkled happily as it caught the moonbeams and played with them, glowing brightly between us.

"So..." I said, a little unsure of what to do next. "As long as you're here, what do you want to do?" I blushed. I felt frank to ask him what he wanted to do, as if nothing had ever happened the previous day. I shuddered at the memory of Zuko's hard glare, moving my eyes back into the blackened ones of the Spirit.

The Blue Spirit raised his shoulders deviously and pointed out towards the horizon.

I knitted my brows, trying to understand what he had pantomimed. I fixed my gaze on the distance. "Er... I'm looking in the direction you pointed. I don't see—ah!"

A quick pair of arms circled under me, sweeping me off my feet gently. The sky whirled above my head and my stomach tumbled inside me as the direction of gravity shifted waveringly. I was jolted and then sensation of falling stopped. I clutched onto the Blue Spirit worriedly, stunned by what had happened. We were on the wall surrounding the mansion, out-looking the entire volcano city. People strolled lazily in the streets, glowing lanterns flickering in their hands as cascades of light sharpening the edges of the masks they wore. My eyes widened in wonder. The orange glow strangely suited the city, highlighting crème coloured walls and the blood-red roof tiles of the mansions.

I took a moment to catch my breath, stretching my neck to look over his shoulder. Had we just jumped from my balcony to the wall?

"What are you doing?" I breathed, raising an eyebrow at him.

The Blue Spirit looked down at me, keeping his body language as emotionless and inert as a statue.

"If you don't tell me..." I paused as I tried to formulate a threat. What could possibly make him obey? I barely knew him! The scrambling about in my mind was interrupted as abruptly as it began by him launching into a flying sprint, jumping off the end of the wall and into a dark, secluded alley.

I squirmed and pushed myself out of his arms, turning around and frowning at him.

"Okay, seriously, are you trying to kidnap me?"

He shrugged, moving to pick me up once more.

"I can walk!" I snapped.

The Blue Spirit stared at me in amusement and pondering, folding his arms in a common thinking pose with his chin tilted down.

I rolled my eyes. "This whole not-talking thing isn't working out for us. Please speak!" I begged.

I could almost imagine a smirk creeping up under the mask. His shoulders tightened upward—no more thinking. Just amusement.

I fumed. "I'm not funny! I'm not a laughing stock! And I'm not going anywhere with you until you give me some answers!"

I heard laughter from around the neck of the street, a noise that set the Spirit on edge. He looked around nervously, searching for an exit.

I sighed, pinching my nose while trying to flatten my creased forehead. "Okay, I can assume safely that you're not out to kill me, are you?"

The Blue Spirit turned sideways minutely before nodding—taken by surprise.

I searched into him hard. After a slow beat of deliberation, I made up my mind. He was telling the truth. He wasn't out to hurt me. I let the comfort of the fact unwind my posture.

"And... if the Azkai do come for me, you will defend me? I'm—" I grimaced, "—not that much of a waterbender. I should be. But I'm not."

The Blue Spirit slouched a little bit and looked at me sympathetically, but nodded anyway.

"My safety is your priority? I'll return home in time to get some rest?"

The Spirit weighed out his options in his hands, shrugging as if he was undecided.

My eyes widened and I clenched my fists. "Spirit!" I whined.

He silently chuckled and nodded, treading forward still we were a hands distance apart. My stomach fluttered as he reached up, briefly touched the area above his heart, and then reached down and touched the area over mine, brushing it gently with the tips of his fingers. A soulful promise. He hadn't broken his other soulful promise to me yet—he had shown up to me tonight.

I could trust him. Small jokes aside, he was loyal.

I took in a deep breath, absently reaching up to touch my necklace. He looked down at my fingers, staring at the stone pendant they brushed.

I looked down and blushed. "This was my mother's. She gave it to me before she died. This is all I have left of her." My throat clogged at the memory of home once more. I looked away, staring down the street bordering the walls of Suiya's mansion. The jagged edges of the volcano framed the image of sleeping houses, lights flickering up their protective casings from the lanterns in the hands of the people strolling through the streets.

The soft shadow of the crater against the night sky was almost...enchanting.

I felt his fingers wrap beneath my forearm, a question in his eyes as he looked down at me.

I looked back at my house and then nodded, smiling and then agreeing. "Okay, let's go."

A/N: Chapter Eleven coming soon! Review if you have time, and have a nice day!

-spockjasperzukowriting

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