.
"Kane helped to change the world, but Kane's world now is history."
- Newsreel
July 12, 2010
Edward
My shoe taps softly against the floor, creating an anxious noise that I quickly silence.
I shift slightly on the bench, definitely feeling the effects of sitting here for over an hour. I probably should have picked something more comfortable to sit on. Or maybe I shouldn't be sitting here at all.
I shake my head, trying to shake out the thought.
No, this is the right thing to do. And this is a perfectly acceptable place to sit. It's neutral, so there are no good memories to taint.
My heartbeat picks up when Isabella finally starts to walk down the stairs. She can't see me because her eyes are carefully trained on her feet. It's an endearing habit she's held onto the entire time I've known her, as if staring at her clumsy appendages will make them behave.
I find my voice when she is almost at the bottom, wishing that I had more time.
"Isabella?"
She brings her head up slowly, meeting my gaze with her own wary stare.
I take a deep breath, steeling my resolve.
This is the right thing to do. She can barely even look at me anymore.
I made her promise not to leave, and now I have to let her go.
"Can you sit with me?"
December 6, 2009
Edward
Isabella stops walking, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Look," she says excitedly, turning to face the yard we've reached.
"The Petersons are really into holiday decorations. They do a great job every year," she explains, gesturing to the snow-sprinkled grass with one hand.
Her other warm, gloved hand is tucked safely in mine. I still can't believe that I'm holding it.
She glances at me, smiling shyly when she realizes that I'm not looking at the lights at all.
"Look," she repeats more insistently. Her smile evens out her stern tone.
I obey, looking at the whimsical mixture of white and gold. I look at the large snowflakes and icicles hanging from the roof. Then I bring my attention right back to Isabella.
Her eyes are still fixated on the display, taking in all the twinkling and glowing lights.
"Aren't they beautiful?" she asks, awe filling up her tone.
"Yes," I agree whole-heartedly, not sparing them a second glance. Watching Isabella's excited expression is much more enjoyable.
December 18, 2009
Edward
"You have a girlfriend?" Emmett asks doubtfully. I try not to be offended by his dubious expression, but it's difficult.
"We haven't made any declarations about it, but yeah, I'd say so," I reply, suddenly unsure about the correct term.
I shuffle my sock-covered feet against the floor, using the friction as an outlet for my anxiety.
"Why is that so shocking?" I know why, but I don't recall ever telling him.
Emmett moves uncomfortably on the couch, his large frame seeming to exceed its recommended size limit.
"I just thought...never mind. So she's here in Forks?"
I give him a speculative glance before deciding to just let the topic die. I don't want to fight; visiting Emmett on the way to Isabella's was supposed to be a positive thing.
"Yeah, you probably know her. Her name is Isabella. She's a waitress at the diner."
"I know a Bella who works in the diner." He has that crease in his forehead that says he's reading too much into something.
I shrug. "That's probably her, but she introduced herself as Isabella."
"She's a nice girl."
It's more of a warning than a question, but I answer anyway. "Very."
He keeps his eyes on me, locking us into an awkward staring contest. It seems to last forever, but he's the first to break it.
He focuses on the toddler toy sitting next to him, his voice careful and determined.
"And you're doing okay? Not...drinking or anything?"
I have to hold back my anger at his accusation, not to mention a sigh. I hate how he asks that, like I still need him to help me out of bars and VIP rooms.
"You know I stopped that a long time ago, Emmett," I admonish, wondering if he's more concerned for Isabella. "I'm fine. I quit when I realized my professional life was at risk, remember?"
"Your professional life," he echoes, no questioning lilt to his voice.
"Yes," I answer dryly. What's wrong with him? I visit him twice in one month, so he suddenly decides to get invasive?
I run a hand through my hair, torturing the locks as part of some ill-fated stress control.
I know why he's asking. I know he's seen me at my worst, but he really doesn't need to worry now.
It's not like I was an alcoholic.
I just drank whenever I got lonely...which was quite a lot.
April 30, 2010
Edward
Tea lights. There are tea lights everywhere.
Delicate, dangerous specks of fire creating winding walkways.
I don't have to choose which path to go on.
Her gown is smooth and shiny in the limited light, an angelic white against the darkness. It almost looks like she's floating.
Following her is as natural as breathing.
August 20, 2008
Edward
Emmett slides my shot glass away from me, giving it to the customer sitting next to him.
I glare at him, but he takes no notice. Instead, he continues his guilt trip.
"I think Tori really likes you. You shouldn't use her like this, Edward."
I shake my head slightly, stopping when I realize that the motion makes my head spin.
Emmett is a whipped married man. What does he know?
"I don't think she's interested in me like that. And even if she is...Why not? People use me all the time. I never know if someone only likes me for my money. I should just keep my distance and save myself the disappointment."
I unsuccessfully try to catch the bartender's eye. He's new, so I don't know his name yet. And I can't shout, "Hey, you!" because I need to be polite. He and I are going to be good friends.
Finally giving up on replacing my stolen drink, I bring my focus back to a silent Emmett.
"Besides," I reason, picking up where I left off. "She's hot. I'm hot. It's natural. Even Darwin would say so."
Emmett looks at me with his trademark, "incredulously pissed" expression. I should know which look that is. I've been giving him opportunities to perfect it for years.
"Are you drunker than I thought, or are you just that much of an asshole?"
February 21, 2010
Edward
"Why do you believe in God?" I murmur. It's not a criticism at all; I'm just curious. I want to know everything about her.
She turns to face me more fully, sliding a hand under her pillow.
"It's how I was raised, even if it was just loosely. And I like to think that there's something for us after death... That one day we'll eat from fruit trees of plenty, without any shame or unhappiness. And that's how we'll stay. Forever."
I push a stray lock of hair away from Isabella's eyes, wistfully taking in her content expression. It sounds so perfect that I want it to be true, if only for her sake.
I listen to the muffled sounds of the storm as I work up the nerve to ask my next question. We don't alter our relaxed positions at all, content to just lie here.
"And what does forever mean to you, in this lifetime?"
I try to make my voice casual, but Isabella smiles softly. She knows what I'm up to.
After thinking about her answer, Isabella props herself up on one elbow, taking on the challenge.
"It means that you can't imagine anything lasting longer than that person," she says softly, her eyes alight with meaning. "Nothing else matters...because you don't want anything to last past them."
I think over her words, preparing to continue our dance around the concept of eternity. But after a few moments of rain-filled quiet, Isabella's expression turns self-conscious.
"Sorry," she murmurs, vulnerable from her almost-declaration. "That probably sounds silly."
"No," I reassure, pulling her closer. My voice is just above the level of a secret. "I don't think it's silly at all."
July 29, 2010
Edward
I look down at my fidgeting hands, not needing to study my surroundings too closely. I already know that it's a new locale teeming with businessmen and wooden countertops and relief. I haven't been to this bar in particular, but I've been here before. At dozens of places just like it.
The kid behind the counter looks maybe a day over 18.
"Sir?" he says, since I am wearing a suit. He's distracted, handling liquor bottles somewhat recklessly, yet carefully...knowing that his next paycheck depends on it.
This probably isn't the first time he has greeted me, but it's the first time I remember. I've been too lost in my swirling memories to notice.
He gives me a questioning look, having finished with his other tasks.
I know what he's going to ask, even though I don't want him to ask. But it would be strange for him not to because why else would I be here?
He gestures to all the bottles, showing off his many riches.
"Would you like a drink?"
A/N:
I know...crazy amount of moments, but that's what Edward is feeling. The good news is that there won't be so many in the future, and the updated timeline is below.
Also, a big thanks to everyone reviewing; I especially love hearing your theories. And thank you to What The Fun for prereading.
...
Edward and Emmett at bar - August 20, 2008 (Chapter 18)
Meet at diner - November 22, 2009 (Chapter 2)
First date - December 6, 2009 (Chapter 3 and 18)
Edward visits Emmett in Forks - December 18, 2009 (Chapter 18)
Edward sleeps at Bella's for the first time - December 18, 2009 (Chapter 13)
Cockblocked by Benny - January 16, 2010 (Chapter 6)
Bella tells Edward that she loves him...when he's asleep - January 30, 2010 (Chapter 8)
Bella cries after burning surprise breakfast - February 14, 2010 (Chapter 10)
Talk about God / forever - February 21, 2010 (Chapter 18)
Humorous handjob and "Marry me first" thought - March 7, 2010 (Chapter 11)
Packing up Bella's things in Forks / Bella's family photo - April 10, 2010 (Chapter 7)
Pick out house - April 15, 2010 (Chapter 9)
Prenup discussed after a night out - April 17, 2010 (Chapter 4)
Marry - April 30, 2010 (Chapter 18)
Arrive at Nice, France for honeymoon - May 1, 2010 (Chapter 15)
Honeymoon moment in Sospel - May 4, 2010 (Chapter 7)
Honeymoon beach makeout - May 5, 2010 (Chapter 15)
Amusement park (back in Washington) - May 22, 2010 (Chapter 16)
Edward takes a photo of Bella - May 23, 2010 (Chapter 11)
Dandelion wishes - May 23, 2010 (Chapter 12)
Edward's lunch break with Alec and Heidi - May 27, 2010 (Chapter 16)
Bella tells Sue about 365 project - May 28, 2010 (Chapter 8)
Bella's lonely phone call to Jessica - May 28, 2010 (Chapter 12)
Bella stays home instead of going to club - May 29, 2010 (Chapter 14)
Edward misses gallery date - June 11, 2010 (Chapter 10)
Bella pretends to be asleep - June 12, 2010 (Chapter 14)
Edward's birthday party - June 20, 2010 (Chapter 13)
Edward plans carnival date - July 7, 2010 (Chapter 16)
Breakup - July 12, 2010 (Chapter 17 and 18)
Meet with lawyers - July 17, 2010 (Chapter 1)
Last time Edward saw Bella - July 17, 2010 (Chapter 4)
Edward sees newscast - July 20, 2010 (Chapter 1)
Edward is interviewed by Mike - July 21, 2010 (Chapter 3)
Edward hires Marcus to investigate - July 21, 2010 (Chapter 4)
Edward messes with Mike - July 24, 2010 (Chapter 5)
Edward finds Benny in bedroom and breaks down - July 24, 2010 (Chapter 6 and 7)
Sue tells off Edward - July 26, 2010 (Chapter 9)
Edward finds 365 project - July 27, 2010 (Chapter 11)
Edward meets with Rosalie - July 28, 2010 (Chapter 12 and 14)
Edward's meeting with employees - July 29, 2010 (Chapter 16)
Edward at bar - July 29, 2010 (Chapter 18)