What depressing Ezria scenes this week at the funeral… I mean, I totally see Ezra's point of view, and her parents were standing right there, so if he were to hug her at that moment when she told him she wanted him to, it would have been super awkward. But his way of running away from the situation and saying he'll call her? Not cool Ezra. Not cool. Anyone know if Ezra's in next week's episode? So far, it's not looking good :(
Thanks to all my amazing readers and reviewers: HandswithRoses, .dreamers, MzPink4, HarrylovesGinny09, SolitudeMyLove, randomness 101-Fanfic Freak, .10, Television Lover, Lalala17, Anonymous, Aria and Ezra Lover, betheeheartsPLL, EzraandAriaForever, crazyatbest, krysty508, HaleyJamesScottNathanSott, .BeyondConfused., exlarelover515, MagnificentMichelle, and KurdQueen123. (sorry if you're username doesn't fully come up. FF is weird sometimes)
Ezra took the book from my hands and opened it up to the first page.
"You stole Jackie's diary?" He asked in disbelief.
"I didn't steal it." I snapped. "I… borrowed it without her knowing." I said matter-of-factly, saying something witty that Alison would have come up with. I smiled a little, knowing that she would have been proud.
"Really, Aria?" He raised an eyebrow at me.
"Just read the damn thing Ezra. It's really important that you read this." I brought my legs up to my chest and rested my head on my knees. I wiped away the stray tear that had escaped my eyes.
I could not understand how someone could use someone in such a way that would break him or her like this. Jackie's lie hurt not only herself and Maria, but Ezra and I too. I shook my head as I thought about how mad Ezra was going to be when he found out. I closed my eyes as I imagined all the yelling and tears that was going to happen when Ezra confronted Jackie. I could see Maria now, hiding behind a couch or something, deathly afraid of this person who she was told to call 'daddy.'
"I can't believe you stole Jackie's diary." He chuckled.
I stayed quiet, fully aware that his semi-cheerful mood was not going to last long. I waited for him to get to the part about Maria being Drew's daughter, not his.
"What the hell?" He gasped. I nodded a little, expecting this kind of response. I knew that he had made it past the first sentence of the entry from March 2, 2007.
He looked up from the book with a frightened look on his face.
"Aria please." He said slowly. "Please don't tell me…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "That Maria is the child that she's talking about being pregnant with." He finished slowly.
"Just keep reading." I commanded. He looked at me for a moment with an anxious look on face. I watched his facial expressions change from that of sympathy, to disbelief and anxiety, to pure anger and hatred as he continued to read through the diary. Half an hour later, he looked up at me from the last page of writing. During the whole time he was reading through the diary, I remained completely silent.
"She lied to me." He whispered, his voice full of disbelief. "She actually lied to me." He repeated.
"Ezra, why is that so hard for you to comprehend? Everyone lies." I mumbled.
"Aria, you don't understand. I loved this woman. I almost married her. And then she ended up using me like this?" His tone of voice was full of disgust. "Using me because she didn't feel like searching for someone who would actually love her! Using me like she doesn't care about anyone but herself!" Ezra chucked the journal clear across our bedroom. It hit the far wall and landed on the floor with a thud. I scooted myself closer to the headboard of the bed, and further away from Ezra, completely scared of the man sitting in front of me. He was breathing very heavily and I could see him struggling to keep himself from exploding in anger.
"Why didn't I ever stop and think about it? We hadn't even been together long enough for her to have a three and a half year old child with me!" Ezra exclaimed frustrated, as he put his head in his hands.
"Because you were too busy trying to comprehend the fact that you had a daughter that you never knew about." I answered as I pretended to be examining my nails, so I could avoid looking at him.
"I can't believe she would do something so stupid!" He stood up, shaking in rage.
"She wanted you back. And obviously, she was going to do anything she could to make that happen." I said quietly. "And… she wanted a father for Maria." I paused as I finally looked up at him. "I mean… coming from her perspective as a mother, well, soon to be, in my case, I completely understand her desire for Maria to have two parents. But the whole part about lying to you about her to get you back, was just screwed up."
Ezra muttered something unintelligible under his breath, before sitting back down beside me on the bed and taking a deep breath. I started rubbing his shoulder in a comforting manner, trying to help him calm down.
"I'm so sorry, Ezra." He looked up at me and I could see tears threatening to spill over in his eyes.
He stared out the window of the bedroom for a few moments before speaking again.
"Does she know you have this?" He struggled to keep his voice steady.
"No." I whispered, fully knowing that he was talking about Jackie's journal.
"Where did you find it?" He threw the journal a nasty look.
"In her car… When she asked me to get the bunny. Ezra-" I begun, but stopped myself.
He turned towards me and I could see all the pain he was feeling clearly evident in his eyes. I embraced him in a hug, trying to provide him with some sort of comfort. He rested his head on my shoulder as I rubbed his back soothingly. I never thought the day would come where I would be comforting Ezra, but here we were.
We stayed like that for a moment before Ezra pulled away.
"I'm sorry Aria." Ezra tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
"For what?" I asked, astounded.
"For losing my temper like that and for being such a mess right now. I'm supposed to protect you and be there for you, not the other way around." He said in a quiet voice, not meeting my eyes.
"Ezra!" I said, shocked.
He looked at me with an alarmed look on his face, finally meeting my eyes.
"Don't ever say anything like that." I placed my palm on his cheek and wiped away a stray tear that had escaped his eyes with my thumb. "I'm here for you always, just like you're always here for me and our baby."
"Thank you, Aria." Ezra gave me a small smile as he placed his hand over mine on his cheek, holding mine there. He leaned his face into my palm a little bit and closed his eyes.
"What are you going to do?" I asked him.
"I don't know Aria. I really don't know." He sighed.
"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked desperately. I pulled my hand from his grasp and instead took both Ezra's hands in mine and looked him in the eyes. "You need to confront Jackie!"
"And say what?" He muttered.
"Tell her you know the truth!"
"By telling her what exactly, Aria? That I accidentally stumbled upon her stupid diary and found out that she's been lying to me for months?" He cried.
"Yes!" I agreed. "That's exactly what you need to do!"
He put his head in his hands again as he let out a loud moan in frustration.
"Let's do it now, before you lose your courage!" I tugged on his hands, pulling him up from the bed. I lightly pushed him out of the room and towards the front door.
"What's going to happen with Maria?" He slipped his shoes on and grabbed his car keys from the counter in the kitchen.
I shrugged, truthfully not knowing the answer to his question.
"Aria…" He bit his bottom lip and sighed. "What if this isn't a good idea?"
"Ezra, come on." I took his hands in mine again. "She needs to know that you know."
"But… I actually thought that I was Maria's father. I mean, she looks so much like Jackie apart from the dark curls, that no one would ever question if Maria was actually my daughter or not. I feel like I'm about to lose my own child. Not some fake child."
"I understand Ezra, but you've only known her for like, five months. You know what, maybe once Jackie finds out that you know, she'll apologize and all that, maybe you guys can arrange something where you can continue to see Maria on certain days. Not as her dad, but as… as a friend. Like a family friend or something." I suggested.
"That wouldn't be bad…" He contemplated.
"Do you want to call her? Or just go over there?" I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket in a suggestive manner.
"Let's go there. I want to do this face to face." He shook his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
"I can't believe Jackie couldn't go for someone who was available. She had to go after you." I said, as we got into the car. Just as Ezra was about to open the drivers' door, I stopped him.
"No. Way." I told him, as I snatched the keys from his hands. "There is no possible way that you are going to get me to let you drive in the mental state you're in."
"Aria." He wined as he tried to take the keys from my hand.
"Friends don't let friends drive drunk." I reminded him, as I jumped into the drivers' seat and shoved the key into the ignition.
"First of all, I'm not your friend. I'm so much more than that. Second of all, I'm not drunk at all!" He defended himself.
"No, but you're majorly pissed and would probably try to cause an accident with anyone who tries to come in your way, which to me, is the equivalent of being drunk." I said, completely speaking the truth. Ezra slumped back against the seat in defeat, fully aware that he completely lost our little argument.
Ezra remained quiet the whole car ride. As I stopped at a red light, I peeked a look at him. His jaw was tensed and he was still breathing quite heavily. Both of his hands were clenched into fists.
I took hold of one of his hands in a comforting manner. At my touch, all the tension from his hand disappeared. I gave him a small smile when he looked up at me.
"It's green." He whispered.
I quickly turned away from his enticing eyes that attracted me to him, even when they were clouded with hurt and despair.
I knew I had to be here for him, now, when he needed me most. I made a silent vow to myself that I would not give up, and that I was going to do everything in my power to heal Ezra Fitz once again.
I'm sorry. You guys probably think I'm really annoying because I'm always leaving you with cliffhangers. I don't mean to… It kind of just happens haha. What did you think of Ezra's reaction? Not mad enough? Too mad? Hope you guys liked it, and PLEASE REVIEW! :)