"Oh baby! Packer sees a hot young thing!" A tall balding man stood at the doorway, staring straight at me.
He hustled over to me and leaned against the file cabinet. He looked me up and down, biting his lip.
"Hey sweet thing," He smirked at me.
I groaned and continued copying my papers.
"You've got a mighty fine ass," He stated laughing like it was funny.
I sneered. "Get over yourself."
"Woah woah woah, easy little lady. Packer only wants to look, maybe touch," He laughed leaning toward me. "What's under that skirt?" He went for my skirt and I slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me," I growled. Only 50 more copies.
"Woah, this lady is spicy huh?" He joked. "Listen, Todd Packer gets what he wants."
I whipped around to glare at him when I saw Toby walk through the door. I grinned.
"Oh yeah?" I said storming past him towards Toby. I grabbed the back of Toby's head and kissed him like it was no one's business. He stood there surprised for a second and then brought one hand around my back and the other to my side. We stayed there for a minute, wanting to get it through Packer's head that I was not interested, and because Toby's lips were so soft and warm that I didn't want to stop. I finally broke away and turned my head to Todd.
"This is my boyfriend. Have you met him?" I laughed. I stormed through the door to the annex and yelled back "Suck on that Packer!" Completely forgetting my copies.
Standing in the conference room with the ladies of the office. Phyllis is wearing one of those sashes that let you know that she is the bride. This was her bridal shower. We actually did a pretty good job with the decorations considering it was in the conference room. Apparently, Michael got us a male stripper too. He said not to tell Toby though considering he is "the fun ruiner". Speaking of which, Toby stuck his head into the room.
"Michael wants me to leave," He mumbled. "So I'm leaving for the day."
"Okay," I smiled giving him a kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."
He waved to the rest of the ladies and was gone.
"How's it going between you two?" Phyllis giggled drinking some of her champagne.
"It's actually going really well," I blushed. "I really adore him."
The girls awed.
"Have you met his daughter yet?" Pam asked.
"Yes actually. She's adorable!" I exclaimed.
"Okay ladies!" Michael said coming into the conference room. "I'd like you to meet Ben Franklin. He is one of the Presidents of the United States. "
I looked into the camera as Ben Franklin came into the room.
"Actually, I was never a President," Franklin insisted.
Michael rubbed his hands together. "Well, have fun. If any of these ladies are bad, I give you permission to spank them."
Ben Franklin looked confused. "Uhh, okay."
And with that, Michael ran out of the room. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know that Ben Franklin is actually an impersonator. We all sat down in a semi-circle as Ben started his lecture. As time went on, Pam and Karen started to heckle the poor guy with questions like 'boxers or briefs?'. I sat back in my seat and listened to Ben talk about his wife and his ideas. I wondered what Toby was doing at that point. Maybe he picked Sasha up from school. No, it was only 1pm. He was probably just relaxing and reading a book. I smiled at the thought. He loved his books, especially his mystery books. He would probably be drinking coffee too. He likes coffee a little too much.
"Parties over!" Dwight came into the room. "Get back to work! He demanded.
"But Dwight," Pam started.
"No buts Pam!" He exclaimed. "Ben, you are going to be answering calls with the stripper."
"I don't do that," Ben mumbled.
"I paid for 3 hours and we are going to get 3 hours out of you," Dwight said.
We all went back to our desks. I continued with the data entry and checking my emails. There was a bunch of emails from corporate that they cc'ed me in so that I could file them. I started printing the emails out, dating them, and putting them in their correct folders. A few coworkers came in and put a few straggler papers on my desk. I had to leave a separate pile for the expense reports. Angela didn't trust me to file them correctly so on Mondays, she would come in and file the reports from the week before. I don't understand why she didn't trust me with them. My office phone rang and I picked it up.
"This is Amber," I answered.
"How was the party?"
"Hey Toby," I smiled sitting back. "It was okay. Michael hired an Ben Franklin impersonator thinking that he was a stripper. He was able to get an actual stripper for the groom though."
"That's why he wanted me to leave," Toby said.
"Now Ben is hitting on every women possible and the stripper is working the phones."
"Uh, that's not appropriate," Toby mumbled.
"Well, you're not here to tell him no so he thinks he can just do whatever he wants," I replied putting expense reports in the box.
"Amber," I disgruntled Michael came into the annex.
"I'll have to call you back Toby," I whispered and hung up the phone. "Yes Michael?"
"Hypothetically," He brought a chair to my desk. "If you were in a relationship-"
"I am in a relationship Michael," I mumbled looking towards Toby's empty desk.
He made a disgusted face and went on. "If you were at a party and a stripper danced on you, would you tell your lover?"
"Uhh well," I scratched my head. "Yes. Yes I would."
He groaned and got up. "That doesn't help me." And he left.
"I don't know why he always comes to me when he has these stupid problem," I said into the camera. "Like, be smart about things. Think for yourself." I looked away and sighed. "Maybe I need to treat him like one of the six year olds that I used to work with. He would ask me something and then I immediately countered it with a question," I put my head in my hands. "I didn't ever think that I would be treating my boss like a six year old."
"Hey," I called Toby back.
"What was that about?" He asked.
"Apparently, Michael had the stripper give him a lap dance and now he's feeling guilty about it," I replied.
Toby sighed and took a long pause. "I'll have a talk with him."
"How has your day been?" I asked typing in my final data entries.
"Just relaxing. Reading a mystery novel," He responded. I looked into the camera and gave an 'I told you' so look.
"What novel?" I asked.
"Oh, it's the new James Patterson novel," He said.
"Toby, you are a little bitch," Someone said on another line.
"What?" Toby asked confused.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Toby, is Satan," The voice laughed.
"Michael?" I questioned getting up and taking the phone over to the doorway.
"Come on Michael...," Toby complained.
"Toby, you are a jerk, even when you are not at work," Michael announced.
"Michael, get off the line!" I yelled into the hallway.
"Toby, are you having relations with Amber?" Michael chuckled. "You must be horrible in bed."
"Michael, that's not appropriate," Toby argued.
"You know what? Hold on a second Toby," I grunted putting down the phone. Angry, I stormed through the front office. "Michael!" I screamed coming into his office.
"What? I'm just having a little fun!" He laughed. "Don't be like Toby."
"I will act like Toby when it involves my private conversations!" I yelled trying to grab the phone from him.
"No it's my phone!" Michael exclaimed holding the phone up over his head. Not just the ear and mouth piece either. The whole phone went up over his head. "Tickle, tickle, tickle!"
"Knock it off Michael!" I laughed trying to get to the phone.
Dwight rushed in and reached for the phone behind me. It must have sounded like an orgy to Toby because we were yelling and grunting. I tried getting up on his desk but he gave the phone to Dwight who is much taller than me. I jumped trying to get the phone but couldn't get to the phone. I yelled at Dwight's name and Michael chuckled. Finally, I was able to push my line button and stopped trying to fight. I fixed my hair and fixed my shirt. I went to the front of Michael's desk and glared at the both of them.
"If I catch you peeping on my line again, I swear I will report you to Jan!" And I stormed back to my desk.
"I'm sorry Toby," I said picking up my phone and sitting down in my chair. "I had to take care of some childish games."
"It's okay. I understand," Toby addressed. "So, what are you doing tonight?"
"Not you," A voice giggled.
"Michael!" I yelled.
"Okay, okay!" Michael snorted and got off.
Toby laughed. "You should be HR."
"No, you're better at it. You have the patience for it," I sighed.
"I think I just don't care anymore not that I have the patience," Toby chuckled.
"I better get off and finish my work," I decided. "I guess I will talk to you tomorrow."
"Alright," Toby whispered. "Good luck finishing. Bye."
"Bye Toby," I hung up, sighed and looked into the camera with a disgruntled face. I'm going to kick Michael's ass one day, and I'm going to love it.