The clock marked 7:00 p.m. and Daryl decided it was just time to end up the shift of that day. He grabbed the blueprints on his desk and his yellow helmet and tossed them on the passenger seat of the gray Silverado.
He loved his work, he loved being an engineer, he really loved what he did for a living. What he didn't like was the tiredness and stress settled in his back and shoulders, two things that didn't matter that much, as long as he could arrive at home, have dinner with his wife and sleep together, embraced to one another.
The streetlights were in red and he started to feel desperate. The day before, Beth had an appointment with her gynecologist so he could tell them if she was pregnant or not. He prepared himself psychologically, in the case she didn't carry his child in her belly. On the other hand, thinking the positive way, he was thrilled at the idea of being a father, having a little boy or girl crying and chuckling at his weird faces. He would teach him or her how to do tons of things together: play football, bedtime stories, shoes tying, ride a bike, help in school projects, take a walk in the park, scare the monsters under the bed every night…He started to fall in love with the baby that would come to their lives.
The purring engine stopped in front of his house. He just couldn't resist to go inside and call for Beth to ask her how her day was. He crossed the door and closed it behind him. Neat silence filtered in the house except for Beth's sobbings in the living room. His heart flinched as he hurried to reach her. He stepped into the room and found Beth in the nook of the window, lying in the darkness curled with arms around her knees, her head resting on them as she looked by the window. On the coffee table he saw a white envelope torn from the corners and the paper unfolded. He took the piece of paper and saw the results: Negative.
His deepest desires vanished like smoke in the air, but made his effort to not lose hope. They could try again.
He sat next to Beth and placed his hand on her back, rubbing it and planting a kiss in her shoulder.
"Maybe, next time, sweetheart."
"No. there isn't." She brought up her head from its hidding place. Her eyes swollen red. She had been crying the entire afternoon.
"I'm sterile."
"Darling..that's too son to-"
"Bob's been taking tests. They confirmed it."
Daryl's heart cracked inside his chest. A lifetime he's always dreamed of crashed and shattered into million pieces. Beth let herself sob more, resting her head back to her knees. Daryl didn't know what excactly to do. He felt stupid thinking that just a hug would fix the problem.
"We should divorce." She spat coldly. Daryl's eyes wide in surprise. It had to be a bad joke.
"You don't mean it, do you?" He forced her to look at him, shaking her shoulders.
"I can't give you what you want. What's the point of it?"
Anger and guilt stirred up in his guts. He fought the impulse to backhand Beth as he wanted to kiss her and hold her against him.
"Listen to me, you are NOT useless." growled Daryl, half mad, half frustrated. "And give me what I want? Beth, what I want is you. It's been always you, sweetheart. I love you all. Wether you can have babies or not, for better, for worse…in sickness and health, remember" His voice threatened to break as his hand stroked hers, pressing her wedding band with his fingers.
"I failed you, Daryl."
"You haven't failed to anyone in this house, baby" He pulled her in a strong embrace, his arms around her fragile frame.
" I know how bad you wanted to be a dad" She sobbed against his chest.
" and I…I will never be able to feel my son or daughter inside me, or having you stroking my belly, or having strange cravings and going to the bathroom every five minutes." She chuckled at her own words, still sad about the thought.
"Beth, I wish I could do something. Now I am the one that feels useless."
Beth escaped a sigh, her cheeks soaked wet and her eyes itchy.
"But as long as you don't leave. I love you so much to just let you go away from me, Beth." His hands stroked her hair, grazing the softness of every gold thread under his rough fingertips.
They remained silent the rest of the night. Although he was tired as hell, he couldn't let himself have some sleep, not now that Beth needen him more than ever in her life. Both of them stood there sleepless, caresing each other as the sky faded into indigo.
Beth started to fall asleep, and Daryl carried her in his arms to their bedroom. He placed her carefully as he pulled a blanket over her. She fell asleep almost instantly.
As for him, he went into the kitchen and made some coffee and bacon eggs. He knew when she'd fall asleep in the early morning would be as hungry as a viking when she'd wake up at one p.m., even if she was in the worst mood of all.
The gray Silverado stayed parked the whole day and Daryl turned off his phone. He was sure as hell he would have tons of missed calls and a pile of work to do the next day, but that day was for his wife. The woman he vowed to make happy the rest of his life.