Chapter Two- Expect The Unexpected
"I'm sorry-w what!?" He burst, unable to hide his surprise. "You'll have to say that again I think…"
Carson was beyond shocked and like her he didn't really know what to think. He had so very many questions, and while he felt panicked, something started tugging at his heart the minute she told him her news. Mrs. Hughes never would've guessed this; she thought he'd be upset. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. His outward reaction made her nervous.
"I know we never expected we would have children…" She continued. "That the mere idea of it is ridiculous…"
"I should say so! I thought perhaps a cat but..."
"A cat." She laughed.
"Yes a cat, but not a baby!"
"Children." She corrected. "They're children."
He sighed. Children were such a stark contrast to a cat.
"How do you feel about this?" He asked carefully.
"Charles… do you have the time to spare, I think it best that we talk for a while."
"No." He said, taking her hand in his own and squeezing it. "I don't have the time to spare. But I will make time."
Elsie took his hand and squeezed back, leaning her head against his shoulder as they ventured into Downton's garden.
"How do you feel about all of this?" He asked again, having not gotten an answer the first time. She didn't realize that she was his main concern in all of this.
"Me?" She laughed. "Overwhelmed: confused… sad." He wanted to interject when she said this; it hurt him that she felt sad and he wanted to remedy it. "Charlie I went to Crawley House that's why you couldn't find me earlier."
"Oh?" He asked, letting go of her hand and wrapping his arm around her.
"You know how she is, Mrs. Crawley. I thought that perhaps she could find a solution for us."
"A solution?" He asked. Elsie didn't notice he seemed puzzled.
"Yes. That is, somewhere we can find for the children to go."
"Who says we need a solution!" He cried, almost alarmed.
"What are you saying?" She asked, pulling away from him.
"I'm saying I…why don't you want to keep them?"
"Oh Charlie! You're hurt!" She smiled, cupping his cheek in her hand. He looked away, obviously trying to guard his feelings. "You sweet man."
"Well they're your family." He reminded.
"But that's the thing, they're children, young children: they'd become ours. And Charlie they're not cats or puppies."
"How old are they?" He'd met to ask that before.
"It doesn't say."
"You don't know?"
"No. I just remember they're young. They were only married…. six or seven years ago I can't remember."
"Oh."
"Well he was a much younger second cousin. I can't believe he'd leave something so important to me, especially when I don't really know them! I don't know if they're boys or girls or anything…I haven't even seen their father in fifteen years. I just: I don't know what to do or what I should do." Elsie put her head down, nothing seemed right to her, keeping them, giving them away…
"Would you have wanted children?" He inquired.
"Huh?" She looked up, confused by his question for a second.
"If we had done this twenty or thirty years ago would you have wanted to have children?"
"Would you?"
"Yes and you?"
"If they were yours." She specified and he blushed. "It isn't that I don't want them. Mrs. Crawley tried to convince me that it's nothing more than a blessing and maybe it is but…"
"Perhaps it is."
"But I'm being practical. This calls for practicality more than it does anything else! Is it practical to think we can take care of…"
"We may be getting on but we're not bedridden Elsie." He reminded.
"Yes but we're not young! Why do you think people stop being able to have children at a certain age?"
"What people?" He asked.
"Women people!"
"Yes but that said…"
"That said we should do the responsible thing."
"But…they're your family."
"Charles."
"Elsie."
"I…"
"I-I want to do it." He sighed.
"What!"
"They need parents." He reminded. He'd always had a soft spot for children, especially after Lady Mary had captured his heart as a little girl. "And I don't see why it shouldn't be us: I think it's perfect."
"I'm surprised to hear you say that….that was the last thing I thought you'd say…"
In truth he was more surprised he'd said it, he found it out of character for himself.
"I'm surprised you don't want them."
"Charlie if something should happen to us, which it will…. I don't want them to loose two sets of parents that just…"
"I think we have a nice life ahead of us." He confessed. "And besides. They'll loose two sets of parents either way if you give them up."
…
Mrs. Hughes had expected virtually any outcome but this one. She'd thought he'd be upset if she wanted to take them in, which she'd decided against. She could tell that her decision to give them up was breaking his heart and that very fact crushed her but she still couldn't shake the idea that her decision, now that she'd come to it, was undoubtedly the best one. As a result, their relationship became rather icy over the course of the next day and a half and it didn't go unnoticed downstairs. Elsie thought she was doing the right thing; and he thought she was being heartless. It was causing a rift between the two of them that neither was comfortable with, but both refused to be the first to speak out. She would not apologize and he would not cave in.
Anna and Bates watched the couple carefully during dinner, perplexed at the silence between them. Charles and Elsie thought they were the only ones who noticed it, after all it was their fight but in truth their cold feelings toward one another seemed to pervade the room to the point where it completely paralyzed everyone else. Even Thomas noted how the quiet between the two impacted him, and that in hindsight it'd been so obvious all these years that they'd loved each other. Their not speaking seemed so foreign it was almost frightening. Daisy barely remembered having parents, but supposed that this was what it would be like if they fought and you still had to eat dinner with them anyway.
"Hello." Came a kind, unannounced voice. Everyone stood at once when Mrs. Crawley came in. "I do hope I'm not disturbing anything, I just wanted to speak to Mrs. Hughes for a few moments if I may."
"Oh, of course." She said, happy to get up from the table.
Carson looked up eagerly, following Elsie's every move as she and Mrs. Crawley went into the hall. He knew what this was about and felt he should be part of the conversation. So did Mrs. Patmore and like Carson, she did not approve. She bit her tongue, trying hard not to urge him to follow them.
"I've done what you asked." Isobel said as the two women walked outside. Elsie had agreed to walk back to Crawley House with her to discuss her news. "There's a children's home several towns over who can take them…"
Isobel paused and Elsie found herself swallowing a lump in her throat she hadn't realized was even there.
"We can take them there next week." Isobel continued.
"Oh…" Isobel noted that Elsie seemed more startled by the news than relieved. Elsie wouldn't admit it but it was in that moment that the impact of her decision really hit her. "G-good."
"Now Mrs. Hughes, since I've done you a favor I'd like to ask you for one."
"Certainly ma'am."
"Let me keep them for a few days, please. There can't be much room for them in…"
"There's not. And I've yet to speak to her ladyship."
"Very well then I will keep them." She smiled.
"Y-you would do that?" Elsie's heart began to pound.
You see, Elsie couldn't shake the feeling that Isobel, Beryl and worst of all, her fiancé thought she was a heartless monster…when in reality she was merely trying to save herself and these children a world of pain.
"Yes of course. It'll give them a couple of days to…to recover." She smiled her heart sank.
Isobel couldn't fathom giving away these children if she had the chance to keep them and thought it odd that Mrs. Hughes would so willingly. She wouldn't say it but didn't really believe she wanted this no matter how much she insisted she did.
"Anyhow, I'll see you at the train station tomorrow, I must be going."
"T-thank you so much…and really I-I know you must think me awful Mrs. Crawley but… I'm just trying to do what I think is best."
"I understand." She reassured. "Good night Mrs. Hughes."
"Goodnight."
The two women turned away from each other and parted in the dark.
"Mrs. Carson." Came a baritone voice. Elsie jumped and almost screamed.
"Oh…. Charles." She smiled.
"Here… its chilly." He said kindly. He'd brought his coat out and draped it over her shoulders, pulling her into a hug as they walked.
"You still love me." She reflected, closing her eyes, feeling the first tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. She'd been trying to hold them back since she'd first told him about all of this and found now that she couldn't.
"Of course I still love you." He soothed, pulling her into a hug. "Nothing you could ever do could make me stop."
"I was afraid for a while I wouldn't get to be Mrs. Carson after all. I know you must think me awful darling."
"I don't understand your decision." He said, lovingly taking her face in his mammoth hands as he leaned his forehead against hers. "And I think it should be our decision but I don't think you awful. Not for a minute."
"Oh Charlie don't you think I'd love to see it as you do: that I could see these children as a gift and nothing more. That I could blindly believe we could raise them and live happily ever after. I'm old Charlie, and I'm tired. I've worked myself to the bone the whole of my life as have you, you…"
Elsie stopped when he leaned in to kiss her. Engaged or not, they had only kissed a few times before. She let herself get lost in the kiss as she cried and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Believe me I don't want it this way. "She promised. "But this is how it has to be."
"Elsie…"
"People our age don't do this."
"Maybe that has to change. Times are changing, remember?" He sighed. "I'm the last to admit it."
"For a while I thought you would refuse to ever admit it."
"Just meet them." He said. "Let's just…know what we're getting into before we do anything too rash."
….
Elsie, Charles and Isobel went to the train station the next day all equally filled with an almost desperate kind of nervousness. Carson found himself afraid the children wouldn't like him and Elsie was terrified she'd love them instantly. And then there was Isobel who simply couldn't bare the thought that the poor little dears were already being dragged all over heaven and earth… little did they know they were about to be uprooted again and given up for good: probably to be separated from each other forever.
Elsie's breath caught in her throat when the approaching train stopped suddenly. None of them really had much time to think before people started to disembark and the platform was suddenly flooded with travelers. In the distance, Carson spotted a woman about Cora Crawley's age helping not two but three young children off the train, one of them a baby perched precariously on her hip. Isobel noted she seemed like she was about to drop the smallest child but did not notice or care. At first, Carson didn't think these were the children they were waiting for; after all there were three of them instead of two. But then the little girl caught his eye. She was about five or six, with striking auburn hair and he couldn't help but notice even from a distance that he looked like his Elsie. Within seconds all his fears came true and his heart melted.
"Miss Elsie Hughes?" The woman asked, her Scottish accent apparent in just addressing Elsie. She approached them, toddler hanging off her hip and the two older children, the girl and a boy in tow.
"Y-yes?"
"I'm Mrs. MacArthur. I'm from the children's home in Glasgow." She announced, ridding herself of the toddler, a little girl and shoving her into the unprepared Isobel's arms.
The three were shocked but Isobel took the child happily and without hesitation. Elsie on the other hand was floored. She'd not expected three of them, and she'd certainly not expected a baby.
"Oh hello." Isobel giggled at the baby.
"Oh my…three?" Mrs. Hughes had to ask.
Carson watched as the twins, who remained hidden behind Mrs. MacArthur, took each other's hand. He couldn't imagine how frightened they must be.
"Three. I'm afraid Mr. Hughes was never able to update his will after Arabella was born." She said, pulling a clipboard out of her bag. "Here sign here, here, here…and here."
Mrs. Hughes was more worried now than ever but didn't hesitate to sign: she found something about Mrs. MacArthur off-putting but she wasn't sure what it was.
"Congratulations: they're all yours." She said, gruffly handing the children's enormous bag to Carson without uttering a word to him. He was aghast and wanted to call her out on her manners, or rather the lack of them, but she spoke again before he could.
"Good-bye children, this is your cousin Elsie I expect she will take very good care of you: have a nice life."
She bid farewell to the children without another word to the rest of them and went off. Isobel looked down into the toddler's confused face, watching as she sucked on her fingers.
Mrs. Hughes was more than overwhelmed: three kids and they were all hers, just like that? Carson started down at the scared children and Elsie got on her knees to greet them. Little did the adults realize Elsie comforted all three children immensely. Despite only being a third cousin to them, they could tell she was family and she reminded them of their father. They found a deep familiarity just in being near her.
"Hello children. I'm your third cousin, Elsie."
"We have two other cousins?" The boy asked, confused. He hic-upped when he spoke and they could tell he'd been crying.
"No sweetheart." Elsie laughed. "It's just me."
She grew quiet for a moment after saying this, the impact of her statement hitting her: she really was all they had.
…
The two older children, Ainslie and Allaster, seemed awed by Crawley House at first. Like Elsie, they were farmer's children from Argyll and had never been to a house quite as elegant as Isobel's. Elsie found she could relate to them in this sense, their reaction to this type of home not dissimilar from her own when she first entered service as a very young woman. Carson, who'd grown up in far more elegant surroundings than Elsie and the children, thought their amazement was kind of humorous, and hoped that they wouldn't be too amazed when they visited the Abbey for the first time.
Neither of the children were vocal about this, or about anything for that matter. In fact, they barely spoke, their eyes downcast and expressions solemn. They seemed a bit alarmed when the maid came in and took their coats and bag. It crossed Isobel's mind that perhaps they didn't understand the concept of maids, an idea that was pretty ironic considering the fact that their new guardian was Downton's head housekeeper.
"I want you to feel truly comfortable here." Isobel told them, she still carried Arabella in her arms as she led everyone into the sitting room. "You will be staying here, with me for a while I hope that's alright. Please, call me Aunt Isobel."
The children nodded slowly, accepting this kindness but couldn't help but wonder why Elsie was not taking them home. Something about the idea bothered Ainslie in particular. Allaster however was preoccupied with his condition. He'd been coming down with a head cold and had been trying to hide it since they'd first arrived at the children's home, having been told he wouldn't get to make the journey with his sisters if he was ill. He wondered if it was all right now to acknowledge that he didn't feel well at all.
The children were polite but didn't say very much throughout the rest of the evening, one being secretly ill, another burdened and the smallest one very confused. Carson and Elsie felt a little out of place as regular guests in Isobel's home, but she liked the idea of breaking the regular order of things and having them there as friends. They stayed through dinner and until it was time to put the children to bed.
"Will ya be back?" Ainslie asked, taking Elsie's hand and studying her engagement ring when she tucked her into bed.
"Of course lass." She soothed, running her fingers through the girl's auburn hair, trying to get her to sleep.
"Good." She yawned, still holding onto Elsie's hand.
"Don't you like Mrs. Crawley?" She asked.
"Yeah but— " Ainslie yawned again, hugging Elsie's arm as she started to drift off. For a moment she thought she had, "I want my brother."
"He's in the next room, you'll see him in the morning."
"Ummm I want my Daddy."
"I know angel I'm so sorry about that."
Ainslie turned back over to look at Elsie, blinking a few times to try to keep her eyes open.
"I don't remember her but I think you look like her."
"Oh?"
"My Mama."
"Oh…"
"She died when we were really little. When Arabella was born."
"Oh, I'm so sorry my love." Elsie was surprised, wondering who it was then who died with their father, she would later discover it was a neighbor and not his wife. Ainslie closed her eyes again and sighed, starting to fall asleep, still holding on to Elsie's arm.
"Goodnight lass. I'll see you tomorrow." She whispered, kissing her forehead.
"Would you like to stay for tea?" Isobel asked; she was waiting in the hall when Elsie closed Ainslie's door.
"Oh, no. No I'm troubling you so much, I couldn't impose further. Do you know what's keeping Mr. Carson?" She asked he'd put Allaster to bed while she was tucking in Ainslie.
"Oh it's why I've brought tea up, it seems Allaster has come down with a cold."
"Oh! I'll stay if…"
"No, no. I'm a nurse remember?" She smiled warmly. "We'll be fine."
…
It was late when Carson and Elsie finally got back downstairs, so late, in fact, that everyone else was already tucked away for the night. Thomas and Anna had covered for them with the family that night.
"How about some tea before we head off to bed?" He asked. In truth he wanted to talk to her.
"That sounds nice." She smiled, making her way toward the stove.
"No, no. I'll do it."
"Oh." She giggled, thrilled by the offer. It was one of the things she loved about him, that he never assumed certain things fell to her just because she was the woman.
"You didn't notice, did you?"
"Hmm?" She inquired, getting some cups out of the cabinet.
"It's Ainslie. She looks like a little you, enough to be your lass." He laughed.
"Does she now? And is that why you're so adamant about…"
"It might be a reason."
Actually, he had a growing list of reasons. It had crossed Charles' mind that Ainslie in particular, probably looked much like what their natural child would look like, that thought had further solidified his desire to keep her young cousins.
"So what do you think now, after meeting them?"
"I-I don't know how we'll tell them…"
"Elsie we can't give them up, especially with Allaster so sick it isn't right. They're pleasant, wonderful children and they like you!"
She sighed. "They are at that…. and they like you."
"You never expected it did you?"
"Perhaps not in this way… but what would we do with them? We can't retire yet, not if we have them to…"
"We'll have to speak with his lordship."
"His lordship?"
"Yes. We can't impose on Mrs. Crawley forever."
"Oh I don't think she'd mind. I think she wants to keep them."
Little did Mrs. Hughes realize, Isobel really did want to keep them and planned on asking to keep them instead of taking them to the children's home.
"And you really don't?"
She sighed and came up behind him; hugging him as he made their tea.
"My love, I'm just trying to do what's going to be less painful for us all." She closed her eyes, leaning her face against his back. The teakettle began to hiss when she said this.
"Life is painful no matter how you look at it." He reminded. "After all, their real parents aren't supposed to be dead are they? And we're not supposed to just be starting a life."
Elsie closed her eyes again and said nothing, not wanting to acknowledge his last statement. He turned to face her and backed her gently against the wall and held her there.
"You didn't even hold the baby."
"No I didn't hold the baby."
"I know you don't have a heart of stone." He whispered, his nose touching hers.
"You know, usually it's me trying to talk you into something." She closed her eyes, resting her face against his.
"Sometimes its my turn to reassure you, after all that's what marriage is about, isn't it Mrs. Carson?" She giggled as he leaned in to kiss her and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
In that moment they heard a loud clang and turned to see Daisy behind them. She was startled that she'd walked in them and dropped the tray she'd been carrying.
"Oh! Oh I'm sorry! I'm sorry Mr. Carson, Mrs. Hughes!" The girl picked up the tray and bolted from the room without looking at them.
"Daisy!" Elsie called after her.
"I'm sorry!" The girl replied from a distance.
Carson and Mrs. Hughes remained silent for a moment after and listened as
Daisy ran back to her room and shut the door.
He sighed. "It won't be that hard Elsie, I promise. Ainslie's only five… don't you think she's a little more mature in some ways than Daisy?"
"Shuuu."