For a mother distance never matters when it is about a son and for Lana and Ben, it was always a pleasure to jump on the truck and go see their son and her lovely wife, and even now that they became grandparents of a cute little angel. Emmet was now four months old and that spark of energy so peculiar in children of his age spilled joy to his new family.
"bgbbfrghrhrfrfrfrflflrllrlrlrl!" Lana's face was buried in his tiny tummy. Her excitement was something hard to control when she was around her grandson, but it seemed to be ok for little Emmet who was laughing hard till he lost his breath.
"Dinner's ready, Lana." Beth came close stretching her arms to take her son.
"Oh Bethy, let him be with grandma for a while, you have it twenty four seven." Her big ashgray eyes pleading.
"She's right, I can't even hug you as it should be." Daryl slid his arms from her back around her waist, planting a kiss on her head. "I'm starting to feel jealous."
After the dinner, Daryl and his father and brother were chatting about job stuffs outside in the backyard, playing with little Emmet, and Beth and Lana were washing dishes inside the kitchen.
"He's growing so fast." said her mother-in-law. Longing detected in her tone.
"Yeah. He's beautiful." Beth sighed weary. The thoughts about her son were constantly of her biological mother. Who she was, where she lived, what would have looked like. Pretty sure she was gorgeous, cause his little face resembled one of a seraphim, big deep ocean eyes and a big smile, his hair ash blonde like her father-in-law. It wouldn't be hard for them to hide the truth to him when he'd grow up. They could easily tell him he's like papa Ben. Still, Beth wasn't complete and it stained her happy thoughts with selfishness. Even when she commited herself under the laws of God and men to love that child as her own, that woulnd't change the fact that he wasn't hers. He didn't form inside her, she never went through pain to bring him to this world, at least not physical. That bond was missing, cracked by her own wishes that would never become true. And even when Daryl had told her he didn't mind she wasn't fertile, she couldn't erase that shadow casted over her. The shadow of shame.
Lana read her eyes, understanding what her daughter-in-law was feeling right in that moment.
"I have seen that same look before, almost thirty years ago, when I took Daryl and Merle with us. Did you know I was diagnosed with cancer?" Lana broke the uncomfortable silence. The only thing making noise was the dishes tickling in the metallic sink.
"Some years after that Ben and I decided to adopt. My uterus had to be removed. He and I, went through many stuff. Our marriage was about to end, he didn't want to be around me anymore, and I give him the reason cause I used to be so negative about it. I let myself fall into grief. Like if someone had actually died."
Beth listened carefully without looking at Lana.
"Anyways. I spent several years on therapy, joining groups, going to church, and Ben registered us in the list of community service to support any other people who needed our help. Some weeks later someone called, asked shelter for a pair of kids. Daryl and Merle. And yes, I felt the same way as you do right in this moment, Beth. I was angry because I wanted children of my own, but these two kids needed me and Ben more than I needed to satisfy a biological need of my body. They needed a mother, and I couldn't go around complaining about my fate, my destiny, when two children were alone in this world suffering a fate worse than mine."
Lana got a point.
"We all have jobs to do, Bethy." Her father's voice echoing inside her mind.
Beth bent over to put Emmet inside the crib when Daryl embraced her from behind. He rested his chin on her head and planted a kiss. He was now completely aware of the enormous sacrifice and effort his father, his real father Ben had done for him and Merle. It gave him a contagious spark of pride, same pride he felt for his wife.
She turned to face him and immediately received a kiss in her lips. They were now happy, rejoiced for finally having a family. A family they would protect and love fiercely, like their own parents had taught them to.
He clenched his arms around her, inviting her to be his once more. And this path they followed, the path of love that lead straight to passion, a passion that burnt inside them both, the holy flames that enlighted their union.
Daryl didn't sleep that night. He spend the hours watching his wife, his loved woman sleep peacefully over his chest, without worries or ghosts shadowing her anymore. He wished so bad, so sick he could be able to give her everything in this world: peace, happiness, an endless joy, a life free of problems, out of fear and sorrow. But he knew that life would be boring without some problems to overcome every now and then.
The hour marked 4:17 a.m. and completely against his will got up from bed and dressed for a new day of hard work. Before leaving the room, he gave Beth a last look and quickly reached her and kissed her gently in the cheek.