Ch 4- Another Way
Carson felt rather the family man and Elsie couldn't help but notice how natural he was at it. He handled the children masterfully, much like he did with everyone downstairs. But with the kids he was far gentler than she'd ever seen him be with anyone, except perhaps Daisy. He doted on the girls and was fatherly toward Allaster. Elsie was amazed that he was able to handle the three rambunctious tots so easily. Things very suddenly fell into place with the five of them, it was a very odd thing, as though the three were their natural children and they'd been with them always. Elsie only worried that she wasn't nearly as good a mother as he was a father.
Carson and Elsie had yet to meet with Lord and Lady Grantham about the arrival of their three children and decided there was no better way to do it than to bring them along. For the time being, the children were still living with Isobel, and almost no one at Downton, save Beryl knew of their existence.
"I'm scared." Ainslie admitted.
"There's no need to be scared love." Elsie soothed. "We're just going to the abbey to see our employers, Lord and Lady Grantham, that's all. They would like to meet you."
"They are very nice people and cousins of mine." Isobel smiled.
She and Elsie were getting the girls ready for their visit to the abbey and trying to explain to Ainslie what was about to happen.
"Oooh!" She marveled.
"Yes, I suspect you might get to play with their granddaughter, Sybbie and that Arabella might get to play with my grandson, and theirs, George, who lives there with his mother."
"You're a grandmamma?" She asked, thinking this was neat.
"Yes I am." Isobel laughed.
"Miss Sybbie is about your age lass, do you think you'd like to make a new friend?" She asked and the girl nodded.
Ordinarily Elsie wouldn't have promised that she'd get to play with Sybbie, but she figured that Mr. Branson would want the girls to be friends as much as she did, even if his lordship happened to protest it, which Carson had promised he would not.
"Where do we live?" Ainslie asked suddenly.
"Well love. We're still working that out. We work at the abbey and we live there but…"
"You will be staying with me until they can find a cottage. I hope that's alright." Isobel interjected. Elsie nodded in approval of the other woman's explanation.
Ainslie paused. She liked Isobel but didn't understand why she'd live with her if Elsie and Carson were supposed to be her new parents. She tilted her head and stared back at the women, showing her confusion.
"Well actually we have a cottage." Mrs. Hughes smiled at the thought.
She looked forward to sharing the new home with Charlie but never expected they'd fill it with children. The thought she'd been apprehensive about days before filled her with joy now.
"We do?!" She asked excitedly.
"Yes." Elsie began. "But you see, we can not live there just yet."
"Why?"
"Well, first Mr. Carson and I aren't married yet…"
Elsie hesitated in saying this, she hadn't imagined explaining this to the children, even though she'd known she'd have to and was sort of nervous doing so.
"Ooooh!" Ainslie hadn't realized.
"We've loved each other for a long time but only decided to get married over Christmas."
"That's romantic." The girl said simply, surprising both women who never would've guessed the small girl had much of a grasp on such things. They both laughed.
"Yes I suppose it is." Elsie smiled. "Anyway we can not live there because we didn't intend to live there for a long time, not until we retire."
"What's retire?"
Elsie paused, figuring the girl wouldn't have known the word. Retirement still wasn't much of a thing in Argyll.
"When we stop working."
"Ooooh."
"So, we don't know what we're going to do, but we'll find a home for us soon and in a few years we will move to the cottage."
"So you want me?" Ainslie asked.
Elsie smiled. "Not only do we want you, we want you and Allaster and Arabella to be in the wedding."
"That's a delightful idea!" Isobel agreed.
"I'd been looking for flower girls and aside from Miss Sybbie I thought I'd run short." Elsie beamed. "It looks like my girls showed up at a perfect time. So what do you say, be in Mummy's wedding?"
"I can call you Mummy!" Ainslie asked in surprise.
Elsie looked up, surprised as well. She had said Mummy without thinking about it. She supposed that met she felt like one now. She stared back at the little girl, surprised that she wanted so much to call her Mummy. Ainslie's eyes grew wide and she started to get nervous as she awaited an answer.
"Yes. I'd really like it if you called me Mummy." Elsie smiled, watching the girl's eyes brighten and she just started to nod excitedly. Before Elsie could blink though, Ainslie hugged her.
"Are you sure?" She asked. Arabella looked on carefully.
"Yes my lass. I'm proud to be your Mummy." Elsie promised, swallowing nervously and fighting back tears.
The little girl's request reopened an old wound and made her feel a little disarmed at first, but then she gave in to hugging the girl, deciding it was best to return to Downton this way; as a real mother.
….
"Are you alright my boy?" Carson asked. He gave the little boy a glass of orange juice and they sat in Isobel's parlor waiting for the girls to come downstairs.
"Yeah. Why do they take so long?" He asked.
"Because they're women." Carson laughed. "And most of them take a lot longer getting ready for things than do we."
"Ooooh." He pretended to understand.
"Are you feeling better?" He was very concerned about the child's cold, which had started to subside in the past few days. Luckily, his sisters had not caught it.
"Yes sir." Allaster paused. He had a few questions for Carson but was afraid to ask them.
"Here, I have something for you." Carson began, putting his hand in his pocket.
Allaster looked up in surprise, no one had really ever given him much before. The children, you see, had been mostly neglected since their mother's passing almost two years before. Being so small, they felt no need to explain that to Carson and Elsie and they would not for a time. Allaster had not realized, however, that Carson took notice of how few toys he and his sisters had and decided to do something about it.
"A present for me?" He asked curiously.
"A present for you." Carson laughed.
"Thank you!" The little boy cried. He and his sister only dreamed of presents, even on Christmas.
He ran and jumped on top of an ottoman right in front of where Carson stood, watching eagerly as he took a small item out of his pocket and placed it in the boy's hand. It was still wrapped and Allaster was dying from anticipation of what it was.
"My father gave this to me when I was about your age and it always met a lot to me." Carson began, nervous about the next thing he was going to say. "And I- I well I thought since you are going to be my son, that you might like to have it."
Carson didn't add that he'd always planned on passing down this particular item to any son he might have, and before Allaster, had given up on that idea many years before.
Allaster looked up at Carson wide-eyed and just stared, not believing he'd just answered the question he wanted to ask so badly. The boy didn't even want to open the present now. Carson was worried and a little hurt, hoping he hadn't upset him. He'd thought he wanted to be his son…
"Do you mean that?" Allaster asked seriously.
"Yes Allaster of course I do."
The child smiled brightly and without a word, began to open the present.
"Oooooh!" The boy marveled, his eyes sparkling at the tiny, dark blue colored train. It was about the size of a modern matchbox car and he loved it instantly.
"What do you think, do you like it?" Carson asked.
Allaster nodded, his eyes still transfixed on the toy.
"Would you like to keep it?" Carson inquired further.
"I'll keep it, but only if you promise to play with it with me, please Daddy!"
Carson was taken aback, never expecting him to begin calling him this. Little did he realize, the boy hadn't called his own father Daddy or anything like it, just sir.
Allaster said Daddy as casually as possible and began looking back at the car, not noticing as Carson started to tear up.
"Yes my boy." He promised, kissing his forehead. "Daddy will play with it with you."
….
"Will they be surprised?" Allaster asked, his tiny feet dangling off the side off the couch. He held his new tiny toy train in his hand, careful not to focus too much on it. He'd been told not to do so in Lord and Lady Grantham's presence.
The family of five was waiting in the library for Lord and Lady Grantham. Carson and Elsie quietly exchanged glances, looking directly over their brood of three and back at each other. They were still surprised and by this time it had been almost three weeks since the children had entered their lives, they figured that Lord and Lady Grantham would be astonished.
Elsie was actually worried that they wouldn't take it well, but Carson had no doubts to the contrary. Arabella started to fuss and Elsie picked her up, putting her on her lap, causing Ainslie to scoot closer to her.
"Carson, Mrs. Hughes, so sorry we're a little late, but we…" Robert stopped, surprised as soon as he saw the children. At Carson's signal, they all rose in the Grantham's presence.
"Who do we have here?" Cora asked sweetly, coming up behind her husband.
Cora noted quickly that all three children looked like Elsie, enough to be her natural children. If she hadn't known her for many years, she would think they were. What none of them realized at the time, was that Elsie was related not only to the children's father, but to their mother as well.
"M'lord, m'lady." Carson began. "Allow me to present Ainslie, Allaster and Arabella Hughes."
Allaster wondered if his name would be Carson soon. He hoped that it would be. Ainslie was enchanted with the house, and had practically attached herself to Elsie at the hip.
Arabella started to suck on her hand and looked back and forth between Elsie and Cora, hoping she wasn't being transferred to a whole new group of strangers for a fourth time in the past few weeks. No one realized that the baby was confused and highly agitated, but felt safer with Elsie and Carson than she ever had with anyone else. Unlike her siblings she did not yet understand that they were her parents now.
"Well hello." Lord Grantham greeted, still puzzled.
Both Robert and Cora quickly put together that the children were somehow related to Mrs. Hughes and quickly began to wonder if they were a sibling's children or grandchildren.
"Hi." The twins said sweetly. Carson was upset in an instant but Lord and Lady Grantham smiled.
"Well hello." Robert laughed. "What do you have there Allaster?"
"It's my train, but it was Mr. Carson's train before he became my Daddy." He said, looking back up at Carson.
"Yes, yes it was." He confirmed.
"Anna." Elsie called, seeing Anna walk past the open door.
Anna came quietly into the room. She'd met the children briefly, earlier in the afternoon and they were delighted to see her again.
"Anna do you suppose you could take the twins to Mrs. Patmore, and have her give them some ice cream while we talk with Lord and Lady Grantham privately?"
"Of course Mrs. Hughes. Would you like me to take Bella as well?"
"No. I'll keep the baby." She said, feeling the need to keep her as close as possible.
"Come along you too, do you like ice cream?" She asked, taking their hands and they hopped off the couch.
"We haven't had it in ages." Allaster admitted.
"Bye Mummy!" Ainslie waived.
"Bye love."
Anna understood why Elsie may've wanted her to take the twins and left quickly, shutting the door behind her. Carson and Elsie were slightly embarrassed by the children's liveliness and didn't notice that Cora and Robert looked on amused in the best of ways.
"They certainly are cute." Cora giggled, beginning to pour the tea.
"Oh m'lady let me…" Elsie protested.
"No, no Mrs. Hughes, allow me, please." She insisted.
Robert didn't protest, seeing that Carson and Mrs. Hughes were obviously a little overwhelmed. More than anything, he was curious now as to what as going on.
"The children are my late cousin's m'lord, m'lady." Elsie began. "I am the only family they have left and Mr. Carson and I have decided to take them in and raise them as our own."
"Oh that's so sweet!" Cora cried.
"It was a difficult decision…" Elsie began.
"At first." Carson added he really wanted to say for you.
"But what about your retirement?" Robert was puzzled.
"That's the thing, m'lord, we can't keep them and retire…not straightaway."
"So we've decided to stay on, and find a cottage nearby, if you'll have us." Elsie emphasized.
"We understand that in our positions having children is…"
"Of course you may stay on." Robert laughed. "Times are changing. And you both have always been so loyal, I see no reason why you shouldn't have a family of your own, in fact I think it's wonderful."
"As do I." Cora added. Both Elsie and Carson sighed with relief. "Were you planning on sending them to the village school?"
"I…we haven't even thought about it." Carson admitted.
"The last few weeks have been difficult. I didn't know they existed, let alone that I was their father's choice of a guardian."
"Well." Cora said. "We're going to bring a tutor for Sybbie in a while, if you would like the twins could join her."
"I-I'll consider it yourladyship, thank you." Elsie was surprised.
"Where are they living?" Robert was curious.
"With Mrs. Crawley but JUST until we're married." Carson emphasized.
"Yes she loves them. She's been very generous we couldn't have kept them without her."
"That sounds like cousin Isobel." Robert laughed and Cora nodded.
"Even so, as their parents please feel free to bring them here." Cora interjected.
"That would be lovely." Elsie confided.
While she appreciated Isobel's help she was starting to feel like her children would never be really hers if they stayed with her for very long. The idea that she could safely bring them to her home and not worry about loosing her livelihood was a huge relief, one that healed old wounds even her fiancé knew nothing of.
"Thank you m'lord, m'lady, and as for the twins, I know they were a little…rambunctious but…"
"Nonsense Carson I found the little fellow quite adorable." Robert said.
"That's right they all are. Mrs. Hughes? May I hold the baby?"
Elsie was surprised by this kind request. "C-certainly m'lady."
…
"We're proud of our lad and lass." Elsie said, beginning to tuck Ainslie and Allaster into bed together.
It was late and she and Carson sat on either side of the bed the children were sharing that night. The twins were used to sharing a room that was, until they arrived at Isobel's house and Allaster became ill. Now that he was well, they were having a sleepover together. Carson and Elsie however had told them they wouldn't share a room in the future because they didn't find it appropriate.
"Did we do good?" Allaster asked.
"You did well." Carson emphasized, causing both kids to giggle.
He didn't really feel it was true, and thought the children would need some more work before spending time at Downton but he didn't want to break their little spirits by telling them that.
"When do we get to live with you?" Ainslie asked.
"When we get married lass." Elsie replied.
"When's that?" Allaster followed.
"In about two months." Carson answered.
"That's a long time." The boy moped.
"It'll go by fast we promise." Elsie said, kissing his forehead.
Carson and Elsie were surprised at the outpouring of love they received from the twins when they put them to bed. In fact they had a hard time breaking away from the children and getting them to settle down. The couple left the room, their hearts filled with the purest of love. Elsie was overwhelmed and almost to the point of tears, feeling guilty that she almost gave away tiny people who depended on her and could love her so much so quickly. Carson though, was suspicious.
"Goodnight Arabella." Elsie soothed, leaning into the crib and laying her on her back.
"I wonder why they took to all of that so quickly." Carson quipped, following her into the room the girls shared.
"To what?" She asked, tucking the baby in bed.
"Well, for one, calling us Mum and Dad."
"Oh…" Elsie had been surprised as well.
"Wouldn't you think that would be harder for them?" Carson was perplexed and thought back to when Allaster had first called him Dad earlier in the day, it had been as though he'd never had anyone to call that before and he didn't know what to think of it.
"Well I would've thought it would've been easiest for this one, but I think she's still afraid of us a little bit."
"Awe, is that so, well we can't leave her thinking that." He said, coming up behind Elsie. He put his arm around her waist, joining her in looking down at the half-asleep child.
"Hello sweet girl." Elsie whispered. "You can call me Mummy. Yes you can."
Arabella had no real reaction and just stared up at Elsie confused. She was tired, over-whelmed and still a little scared. She'd never gotten much parental affection and so the idea that all these adults could be so sweet to her was truly baffling and it made her more confused as to where she was supposed to be.
She wanted to love them all back, Elsie especially, and it made the girl upset that she left her every night. She'd been very afraid when Cora held her earlier, worried she'd be given to her now when she wanted to be with Elsie who she understood looked like her and her siblings. But unlike them, she didn't understand the concept of having two parents, and so what they'd missed all this time was completely foreign to her.
Elsie and Carson didn't realize most of this of course, but they both knew something was not quite right. Cora had offered to have Arabella be taken into Downton's nursery with George and Marigold, but Elsie had declined for the time-being, saying she needed to keep Arabella with her at least until she adjusted to her new surroundings.
"Maybe she doesn't know what a Mummy is." Carson suggested.
"That's right she wouldn't, would she?"
Having had little experience with small children, neither of them realized that the baby was simply overtired in addition to everything else and no longer had the strength to cope with her own emotional state that day. She was exhausted.
"We love you Arabella Hughes." Elsie whispered, kissing the child's cheek as she continued to drift off.
"And we promise we're going to make everything all better."
Carson and Mrs. Hughes had no way of knowing that that was how the twins thought of them too: like they were there to make everything all better. It's why they loved them so much and right away. The couple had been confused and weary about taking on children at their age, but the twins understood who they were to them within days of their meeting. The children, you see, had been without parents since long before their father's death and had been ready for Elsie and Carson to rescue them from the time they were very small, back before the couple had ever been ready for each other. Carson and Elsie would not discover this for some time.
…
"It seems so strange, doesn't it?" She asked, holding his hand tightly as they walked back to the abbey.
It was the middle of the night and they were tired, but neither wanted to let go of the other, and so they walked very slowly.
"What does?"
"What does?" She laughed. "All of it truthfully, even our being together."
"Oh?" He asked, feeling a little hurt by this comment. She ignored it and went on.
"Particularly, it seems so strange to have three children now; especially when we've never had…"
"Relations." He offered.
"Y-yes."
"Well we could."
Elsie gasped, her eyes growing wide, obviously affronted by his suggestion.
"What would be the problem?" He asked.
"Charlie Carson you know what would be, this is so unlike you!"
"Think about it for a moment." He said, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist as they walked. "You don't really want to leave me tonight, do you?" He asked and she gulped, which answered his question for him. "It'll be fine." Carson continued. "Besides who would ever know?"
She looked up at him, about to protest and he continued talking.
"It'll give us time to get used to each other, so the honeymoon is relaxing…"
She sighed, having forgotten about this part and was disappointed immediately. "Do we even still get to go a honeymoon?"
He ignored her question and continued. "You're not going to get pregnant or anything."
"No, far stranger things have happened as of late..."
In an odd way, Elsie wouldn't be surprised if that did happen. It certainly wouldn't be more odd than inheriting three strange children who happened to look just like her.
"And I'm not going to leave you, not if the earth depended on it." She smiled when he said this. "And it's less than two months now…"
"If we've waited this long it."
"It's just that I've been looking at you today, all day and I think it'd be wonderful." This was his subtle way of letting her know he desired her.
"It will be wonderful." She smiled, kissing his lips softly. "But not until there's a ring on my finger." She said, he took her hand and showed it to her.
"Mrs. Hughes, there is a ring on your finger."
"You know what I mean!"
"Yes, I'm afraid I do. Truthfully I wouldn't care what we did or didn't do, but I'd love to spend the whole night with you, uninterrupted." He said, taking her hands in his own. "Just to bask in your presence and nothing more."
"Soon enough my Charlie, I promise."
"But by then you'll be the mother of my children and that..." He laughed. "We'll be interrupted quite often I think."
"Oh Charlie, it's really the opposite I think. They're stuck with me either way, and it would've been a disastrous match without you. But you're here and now they have this wonderful father who makes us all a family."
Elsie didn't think she'd be a decent mother if he weren't there to be a wonderful father.
"Get away with you." He said jokingly, unable to hide how happy her words made him.
"I mean it my Charlie." She said, wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'm so happy we get to go another way after all."