Ch 5- The Truly Unexpected

"Is it really soon?!" Ainslie asked hopefully, jumping up and down.

"Yes, just a month now lass." Elsie explained.

"Now hold still." Anna cautioned.

It'd been more than a month since Elsie had inherited her three young cousins and they felt more and more like a real family everyday now. Elsie and Carson were starting to be comfortable with being parents, and the twins were growing re-accustomed to being loved. The children spent more time at Downton now, their adoptive parents enjoyed getting to be with them and watching them blossom in their new environment. Neither thought much about the children's obvious and overwhelming happiness, not understanding that the twin's joy was born partially out of relief, and that before their father had died, they'd been desperate for things to change.

Presently, Elsie was making preparations for her upcoming wedding, which was only weeks away. The planning was tedious and took up much if not all her spare time. She was excited about her wedding and couldn't wait to officially be Mrs. Carson. At the same time, no one was more excited about the nuptials than Ainslie who was over the moon about getting to wear a big white dress and go to a fancy party.

Arabella was upstairs, in Downton's nursery with Lady Edith's child; Marigold and Allaster had gone into town with Carson. Ainslie felt very much like an adult, helping her mother with preparations for the wedding. Some days were filled with boring tasks she couldn't help with, but today had been the day she'd been most excited about. She'd been waiting for it for weeks. Today, Anna was fitting Ainslie for her dress, and Elsie for hers. The little girl, who was now obsessed with weddings (Elsie called her, her little romantic), was even more excited about seeing Elsie in her dress than getting to wear her own.

"I still think that's silly." Elsie laughed.

"It's cause you're the bride Mummy!"

'I'm a bride when I'm old enough to be your grandmother.' She thought, but didn't say it aloud.

"She's right Mrs. Hughes." Anna laughed. "You are the bride and it is more exciting than being a flower girl for sure.'

Elsie looked back at Anna and Ainslie as they shared a laugh. Something about the light in Ainslie's eyes as she giggled caught her gaze and for a moment she stopped, swallowing hard. Elsie shook her head, dismissing the fleeting thought she didn't even allow to come fully into her consciousness, and looked down at the papers in her hand.

"Ainslie my love. How would you like to help Mum keep a secret it's a surprise for Da."

"Yes please!"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes!" She cried excitedly.

"Are you sure?" Anna teased, smiling up at Mrs. Hughes. She already knew what the secret was.

"Yes, yes, I promise!"

Actually, Ainslie was already keeping a secret for Carson. It was a wedding present for Elsie; one she thought was the most romantic ever.

"I'm arranging a trip, just for he and I." Elsie said. "You will stay with Mrs. Crawley."

"Why don't we get to go?" She asked sadly.

"Because when grown ups get married, they need to go off by themselves for a while, just the two of them, just to get to know each other and have a little fun."

"Don't you already know each other?"

"Oh yes my girl." Elsie laughed. "But since we're newly married, it'll be different."

"How?" Ainslie asked cluelessly.

Both women stopped and looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

"I-I'll explain when you're older, Ainslie."

"When?" She asked.

"Oh lass….perhaps six years down the road or so, perhaps a little sooner, perhaps a little later."

"Ohh."

"You'll have fun with Isobel I promise."

"Yeah." Ainslie paused, deciding that she'd ask Aunt Isobel if they could arrange a surprise for her parents upon their return.

…..

"Dad are we going to find out about the surprise?" Allaster asked, yawning as he followed Carson along the busy street, holding his hand.

"Yes we are. I already talked to your sister about it, but I have to talk to you."

"What is it?" He asked anxiously. "And did you ask Arabella as well?"

"Well my lad." He lifted the boy into his arms. "I'm not going to ask Arabella. She's only a baby you see, I don't think she'd understand."

"Oh?"

"How would you like to be Allaster Carson?"

Allaster smiled and began to clap.

"Yay Dad."

"You see, where the law is concerned, you belong just to your mother and not to me."

"Why?" He asked. Carson sighed. He'd had to explain this to Ainslie as well.

"Because she is your cousin and your guardian, and, and well when your father, your father by blood passed away he decided she'd be your new Mummy."

Allaster sighed and hugged him when he brought up his real father. Carson paused for a moment and patted the small child on the back. Lately, he'd come to the understanding that something had been very wrong in the children's former life but he was unsure what it was.

"In short my boy, I want to adopt you and your sisters, that will be my wedding present to Mummy. So we can all be a family, officially just like we'll be husband and wife, officially."

"What's adopt?" He asked and Carson laughed.

"Become your Daddy, legally."

"Yay!" The boy squealed.

Carson smiled and put Allaster down, his heart warmed by the young boy's enthusiasm. It didn't matter to him that the children weren't his flesh and blood, he felt like more of a father than he'd ever thought possible.

"Come on Allaster, don't tell your sisters, but let's have an ice cream before we go to the court house, alright?"

…

It'd been a long day and many hours passed before it was time to put the children to bed. By this time, they were all back at Crawley House where the children were still living. Arabella had gone to sleep first, then Allaster, and then sometime later, Ainslie started to nod off. They'd all had a wonderful day, but Elsie was plagued by a lingering thought in the back of her mind she could not get to go away. It wasn't even a fully formed thought, just a faint feeling in her gut that there was more to the children than met the eye. She wasn't exactly sure what it was. Ainslie was half asleep when she laid her down in her bed. Elsie kissed the girl's cheek as Carson turned down the light.

"You remind me of someone." Ainslie said, her eyes half open.

"Oh I do, who?" Elsie asked, running her fingers through her hair.

"Mmmm I couldn't remember before but I know for sure now. She was real pretty." Ainslie pouted sadly at the memory.

"Oh?" Elsie inquired, allowing the sleepy child to take her hand.

"Yeah." She paused, peering up into the older woman's face. "When I look at you, I can see her." Ainslie blinked.

"I hope that doesn't make you sad lass." Elsie said. The thought made her sad and she didn't even know what she was talking about exactly.

"It makes me happy." She smiled.

Ainslie paused, trying to hold back tears. The little girl focused hard on the older woman's face before her and reached up to touch it, studying her reassuring smile. Ainslie blinked slowly as she watched her, she didn't have to think too hard, as Elsie's face served as a guide, almost an exact roadmap, in certain places, to the one she'd gazed at so adoringly for the first few years of her life.

"Mama." She mumbled, tears in her eyes, as she was overwhelmed with a yawn.

"Shuu…" Elsie's heart jumped and began to quicken for reasons she wasn't quite sure of yet. Elsie swallowed, trying to hold back her own tears. The girl's pain, made her think of her own mother's death, and of a far greater loss she could not bear to think on. "I'm sure your Mama is real proud of ya now sweetheart. Do you know her name?"

"My mummy's name was Allison Hughes and she was real pretty and she looked just like you." The child said, still stroking her adoptive mother's face almost longingly as if she were beaconing it to turn back into the much younger face of her long past mother.

Carson watched, tears in his own eyes as he watched all the color drain out of his fiancé's cheeks. Elsie's heart stopped for a moment. She felt all the breath get sucked out of her instantly. A pain shot through her stomach that made her feel like she'd been punched hard in the ribs. She heard nothing in that moment but her own soul, screaming madly and uncontrollably inside her head. Not knowing what else to do, and understanding she could not loose control of her emotions in front Ainslie, Elsie took the child's hand and clasped it tightly in her own, the meaning different now that she fully understood who Ainslie was.

"You can tell me about her." She began, unable to hold back her tears as she laid her face on Ainslie's. "And we'll think on her together." She whispered.

"You knew her?"

"Oh yes my darling." Elsie swallowed her tears, trying hard not to start bawling. "Better than you could ever imagine."

…

"Elsie, Elsie what is it!" Carson asked when they got out into the hall.

He'd known something was very wrong even before she'd turned white as a sheet. His mind whirled and he worried desperately about why she was so devastated. He could've never imagined the truth. Without a word, Elsie burst out sobbing, and he took her into his arms, holding her tight and beginning to rock her. Knowing she was in the safest place she could be, Elsie allowed herself to become completely hysterical. She started to shake as she cried and he enveloped her further in his arms.

"My love whatever it is I am here." He soothed. He gathered her pain had something to do with the young woman who'd mothered the children, and he wondered how she'd known her. He thought that perhaps she was a cousin she hadn't mentioned before.

"My baby! Oh Charlie my baby."

"I know. But Ainslie will be alright."

"My baby's dead!" She sobbed, Charlie's face fell and he looked down at his hysterical fiancé, not knowing how he hadn't understood sooner.

"Oh my love, my love it's alright."

"No, no it's never going to be alright not when she's…" Elsie couldn't speak now and just continued to sob hysterically.

She was overwhelmed. Allison was a subject she couldn't think about much anyway, and now to find out that she'd passed away almost two years earlier and no one had seen fit to tell her.

"There, there my Elsie its alright."

"I di-I-di." She was crying so hard now that she couldn't even form a sentence. Carson didn't know what to do, he wanted to calm her down, and was a little upset that she hadn't seen fit to tell him, her fiancé, that she had a daughter somewhere in Scotland.

"Shu…please I know you're very upset, but don't make yourself sick."

"My baby!"

"Shu… Allison is your daughter I take it." She nodded against his chest.

'They didn't let me keep her and now they took her away forever." She choked.

"Who didn't let you keep her?" He was horrified.

"My Mother." She sniffled. "She took her away from me and gave her to cousins of ours for them to raise when she was a baby." Elsie paused for a moment, beginning to cry again. "Oh my God Charlie, I almost gave away my grandchildren, my only piece of her!"

"Is this what this was all about?" He asked tenderly, wiping a few tears from her eyes as he took her chin in his hand. She nodded. "You were hesitant." He continued. "To become a mother because that'd been taken away from you."

She nodded through new tears that threatened to fall. It was why she hadn't wanted to keep Ainslie and her siblings.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, I was going to explain about Allison." She started. "Please don't be angry with me." She begged. "I love you more than anyone I've ever known, please Charlie."

"I'm a little confused, and I hurt that you hurt, but I'm not angry with you love. I do wish." He said. "That I'd known you were married before."

He was hurt by this, and in that moment it tested his faith in her. She'd never said anything about a husband or child in her past, and in a way, she'd let him believe she was likely a virgin; they'd never really discussed it. She sniffled.

"No I've never been married." Elsie burst out crying again.

Charles was a very respectable man, she had doubted he'd want her after this, it was why she'd selfishly waited to tell him, thinking that perhaps the longer she waited, the longer she'd get to keep him and love him. She clung to his shirt desperately as she cried, beside herself now. Her baby was dead, the children she'd adopted were her biological grandchildren, and now the love of her life was about to walk away forever. Elsie swallowed nervously, the bile rising in her throat, fighting her as she tried to speak. She closed her eyes and took in the feel of his warm embrace just surrounding her. The gentle beat of his heart, being the only thing keeping her from completely loosing it.

"I had Allison all alone when I was a young woman." She swallowed hard, gathering the strength to utter the next two words. "Via rape." She whispered. Carson felt his heart drop straight into the pit of his stomach.