AN: Another little off-world adventure and misunderstand...sort of. Enjoy :)

Summary: Q20: Very early season 1. On a geeky rather than action filled off-world excursion a bored Jack finally finds something amusing to laugh at. But not all of his team find the mishap all that funny, in fact Sam is doing anything but laughing. Friendship/Humour.

Oh and mind the curse word near the end!

QUESTION 20: Are you sure you want to do that?

They had been on the planet for just a little over nine hours and Jack was, not unexpectedly, somewhat bored. Daniel had ruins to play with and Carter was poking about in the dirt doing her whole science thing. Teal'c had relaxed to the point that he had drifted into kel-no-reem and as a result Jack did not even have anyone to talk to...or at, as the case more often seemed to be with the big stern jaffa. The most exciting thing that had happened in the last two hours was him relieving himself. Which, he decided he was going to go do again now. "Back in three." he muttered and wandered off, completely unheeded by his new team.

Upon his return nothing had changed and Jack sighed, he was going to have to do something about this whole geek freak thing. Exploring the universe should not be quite so mundane, he had had enough. It was time to call it a day. Just as he was about to give the order to pack it up his 2IC flit passed him heading off in the direction he had just came from. He shrugged, guess even genius geek-girl scientists needed to pee sometimes. Best give her a few moments he decided and with conscious effort turned himself away from watching his new Captain as she crouched, still fully clothed, a little nearer to the edge of the clearing than he thought she would. To shake off the Broca images Jack resolutely focussed his attention on Daniel. The man looked like he could be ferreting around for days if left to his own devices but Jack was definitely not about to have that.

OoO

Carter kept her eyes peeled to the ground as she tracked along. She had collected all the samples that she needed from around the dig site and down by the water and now she wanted some from underneath the dense vegetation and the trees. The soil was a completely different colour and texture from anything she had ever seen before and she was curious to know if there were any unknown properties held within. "Woaw!" Exploring other planets sure was exciting she thought to herself as she noticed the area under the bush was bright purple. She collected a sample, bag and tagged it and took a corresponding photograph. It was then that something else caught her eye a little further along. "Interesting!" she burbled and snapped a shot simply because the camera was still in her hand. Then, hurtling over, she crouched down and gave her new find a closer examination.

After just a few moments the Colonel's voice from behind her distracted her slightly. "Hey Carter, are you sure you want to do that?" he said but Sam chose to momentarily ignore him, taking a sample would not take long then he could have her full attention.

"Hah." She exclaimed as she fingered the bark of the tree she was examining, grimacing slightly as she realised she was not wearing her protective gloves. That probably wasn't exactly very smart given that they were off-world.

"Did you not hear me Carter?" Jack asked, clearly sounding kind of irked. This time Sam did respond, he was her CO after all.

"Yes Sir I did, but this tree, do you see that? It seems to be excreting some kind of liquid. It's warm too, I wonder what it is?" She rubbed her fingers and thumb together experimentally and stopped just short of sniffing them.

"It's urine Carter." Jack supplied succinctly as he arrived beside her.

Sam's lip quirked up in a softly amused sort of grin. "Oh ha, ha Colonel. Trees don't urinate. Although..." She stopped at that as she reached into her pack for another sample bag.

Jack, aware that she was not relieving herself after having been attracted by her bizarre declarations of 'woaw' and 'interesting', came down to her level and snatched the bag out of her hand.

"Sir!" she protested and glared at him.

"Trees don't urinate Captain. But I do. I think you'll find that you don't need that sample bag."

It took a few moments for the confusion to clear then his new 2IC visibly paled. "Yuck." she declared, rising so quickly to her feet that she almost knocked him over. Frantically she wiped her hands on her fatigues. "That is just disgusting." she murmured and spat on her fingers.

Jack's face fell into a brief look of disgust. "And that isn't?" he asked as his eyebrows rose up into his cap.

"I'm going to wash my hands." Sam told him and took off towards the edge of the river.

"Yes you do that and after that we are going home. You are done right?" he called after her, overtly mocking her. "Or do you need a fresher sample, I can use this bag if you want?"

As she plunged her hands into the freezing water Sam set her jaw and ground her teeth to avoid rising to the Colonel's taunt. Her gut instinct was to curse a blue streak at him but instead she answered him tightly. "No Sir, I'm done." Rubbing her hands together she actually felt kind of sick. "And from now on can we make sure there is a designated pee zone or something? I don't want this to happen again."

Jack chuckled slightly and reset the cap on his head. "Sure thing Captain. oh and Carter, just for the record, the pee zone for this planet is over there." He hooked a thumb behind him, pointing at the aforementioned tree.

The look on his 2IC's face was nothing short of withering and that just made him laugh all the harder. "Oh come on Captain." he cajoled. "It's only urine. I'm sure you've had worse on your hands in your time. No? Oh well, first time for everything. Pack it up guys we're going home. And no arguing Daniel, Carter is feeling...well she feeling...pissed!"

"Is it not more accurate to say that she has been feeling pissed O'Neill." Teal'c supplied, appearing out of nowhere with a cat-like grin, his hands behind his back.

"Oh, that's a good one Teal'c. You got it buddy, you got it exactly right!" Jack patted him on the arm and shook his head, laughter bubbling up his throat.

"Why thank you O'Neill." Teal'c answered with a bow.

"Oh fuck you." Sam spat out as her temper and embarrassment got the better of her. "Fuck the whole lot of you, I'm out of here." And with that she took off towards the gate, her pack swiftly slung up onto her shoulder. They could laugh all they wanted, what the hell did she care?

At the sound of the expletive Daniel rose slowly to his feet and blinked furiously at the laughing Jack and then stared after the red-faced and retreating Sam. "What...what happened?" he asked but Jack was far too busy attempting to stay upright to even think about answering him.

END

AN: He, he. Juvenile Jack...ya gotta love him.