Note:
Hello!
I'm sorry it's taken a while to update but I didn't manage to get it finished in time to upload it before I had no internet!
Okay so you know how last chapter I said it had been hardest for me to write? Yeah well, I lied. This was way harder!
So this me attempting to tackle the I Kissed A Girl episode. As usual it's the first of two chapters centred around the ep.
Just quickly, I wanted to thank you all for your interest and reviews- they are getting more in-depth as each chapter gets uploaded and I really appreciate them all! I must mention a special thanks to MadMabry and RedDevilOutTheWindow who encouraged me to include in this chapter a few scenes from Brittany's POV which I have done and enjoyed writing thoroughly.
It'd be cool to let me know what you all think of the Brittany scenes and whether or not you think I should continue this way- Like I said last chapter, I'll write what you guys like...unlike the actual Glee writers. (Though ups to them for the cute Brittana scene in 3x10, I'm excited to sink my teeth into that one.)
Again, please accept my apologies if there are annoying spelling mistakes or grammar slips ups- It's the end of a very long day!
p.s- I'm sorry for lack of Brittana sexy times. I promise I'll include some in the next chapter!
oh and p.p.s- this programme won't let me make a heart that goes at the end Santana's name in Brittany's phone- My Girlfriend. So there will be a random '3' there and you guys will just have to pretend it's a heart :)
Ch 14: The One in the Sun
Brittany:
Brittany was first to her homeroom class. She even arrived before the teacher which meant she had to turn the lights on herself and she had the pick of all the desks.
As usual, she chose the ones four rows back near the windows. She liked those desks because Santana had doodled on one of them last week- a smiley face that wasn't smiling but sticking it's tongue out.
Brittany sat down and traced her finger across the grooves of that face, wondering how much trouble Santana was in right now. Santana had promised to text her when she was done with her meeting with Principal Figgins. She'd promised that she'd be fine- that Shelby would fight to keep her from getting in to much trouble because without her in the Troubletones they'd lose sectionals.
Aimlessly, Brittany flicked the badge on her chest that said "Vote Brittany." Then when she'd had her fill of the oddly satisfying clinking sound it made she pulled out a box of Dots from her bag. She picked out one of each color from the opening at the top and tried to compose a makeshift rainbow. Red, pink, orange, yellow and green. RPOYG. Not as exciting as ROYGBIV but it was the best she could do. She left those Dots in a line in front of her and ate a red one from the box.
It tasted overly sugary and felt too thick in her throat to swallow so she spat it into her hand, wrapped it in a spare leaf of paper she found in her binder and wiped off her fingers on her uniform skirt.
She looked at the clock hanging above the whiteboard. She had half an hour until homeroom started. She'd spent four minutes at her locker, and one minute at Santana's- making sure that no more Golf club pamphlets had been stuffed inside.
If her calculations were right, it meant that Brittany had been sitting in home room for five minutes. And that meant she'd left Santana at Principal Figgins office ten minutes ago.
Brittany wondered how many bad things could happen in ten minutes.
Deciding that the Dots lined up on her desk were making her stomach feel churny, she dropped them one by one back into the box, feeling a bit like God for letting them live another day. Or another few hours depending on how long her stomach felt funny.
She wondered about yesterday- about who had won the mash-up. She wondered if the Troubletones had lost points because Santana had slapped Finn. Although technically, Brittany reasoned with herself, the song was already over when she'd done it. Brittany didn't really care who'd won, it seemed a little silly in comparison to what had happened to Santana.
What was still happening, Brittany mentally corrected herself.
Brittany raised her eyes to the clock again.
A minute had past. Then, with a loud 'zzzzzz' that made her jump and made her stomach even more skittery, her phone vibrated in her bag. Eagerly, she extracted it and looked down at the screen. The '1 Message Received' banner had Mercedes name underneath it. Brittany was disappointed but she clicked read anyway.
What's happening? Any word yet? Is she in big trouble?
Even though Mercedes hadn't mentioned her by name, Brittany knew she was talking about Santana.
She was halfway through typing a reply when her 'create message' screen was taken over by a banner that informed her that My Girlfriend 3 was calling her. Wondering when she'd swallowed the storm churning in her stomach, Brittany pressed 'answer'.
"Where are you, Britt?"
"In homeroom. Where are you? What happened?"
"Finn told them I stage slapped him."
"But you weren't even on the stage when you did it," Brittany frowned. "Why would he say that? Is he trying to get you in more trouble?"
"No, a stage slap means a fake slap that you do if you're in a play or something. Anyway, he got me out of being suspended and missing sectionals."
Brittany was surprised. "You must have slapped some niceness into him."
"Good theory." Santana's voice sounded through Brittany's phone speaker and from the door simultaneously. Brittany looked up in surprise and clicked off her phone, bumbling excitedly from her chair to throwing her arms around Santana's approaching form.
"This is so great. Finally some good news!" She said, pulling back and grinning. Santana's eyes still contained residue of the wildness they'd had since she'd burst into the dressing room the day before, Britt could see warmth creeping back into them as she returned Brittany's grin.
"There's a catch though."
"Oh?"
"Finn wants to do a week long lesson with the New Directions and the Troubletones and it has something to do with me 'embracing my awesome'."
Brittany frowned. "Like… hugging it?"
Santana wound her way past Brittany to sit down in the seat beside the one Brittany had chosen earlier. Brittany sat down beside her.
"No," Santana began to explain, "like…oh my god." She snapped her head up, "it'll be some sort of coming out lesson, I can see it now."
"You think he's going to sing Dianna Ross?" Santana looked horrified at the thought.
"If he does I think my ovaries will shrivel up and die." Santana dropped her head into her hands. "I've gotta go to Coach Sue after homeroom and ask when the ad is going to air so I can time my death to coincide with it."
Brittany caught the fact that it was a joke, but Santana's voice had that wavering quality that she got before she cried. Brittany swallowed the lump of apprehension in her throat.
"San…"
"I'm not serious Britt," She said, her voice soft. Brittany really wanted to lay her head in the crook of Santana's neck and feel Santana's hair tickle the end of her nose but Brittany knew that because they were at school Santana's shoulder would remain stiff and uncomfortable. She traced the smiley face on the desk instead.
"I know," She mumbled. "But it still scares me coz you don't say it like it's a joke."
"Well, I have to admit it's the most appealing option I've got so far. And way more feasible than some of the other options I've thought up."
"I still like that one you thought of last night...about telling your family before they see the ad."
Santana flinched. "That idea was a product of temporary insanity, it's the most stupid idea of them all."
Brittany had so many things to say but just as she was deciding which one to start with, the home room door opened and a group of their class mates burst in, filling the quiet space with their conversation. Brittany closed her slack mouth and said nothing.
After home room, Santana had to go down the hall for English and Brittany had to the opposite way to the gym for P.E. When they reached the hall way outside home room Brittany turned to Santana and tugged at her bag strap, deciding to use their special code to say goodbye.
"I've got a banana for lunch today," Brittany said.
I love you.
She watched in delight as a smile twitched the corners of Santana's mouth.
"I've got Tuna-fish sandwiches," she replied, giving Brittany a small wave as she turned to walk to class.
I love you too.
Santana:
It was the end of day two of Finn's musical tirade against Santana's closet doors. The past few days had forced Santana back into it's darkest corner, blocking her ears and humming beat back memories out the god-awful things she'd witnessed in that choir room. Blaine rapping for one thing. Kurt's half length turtle neck that made him look homeless. And then today, Puck's cover of Melissa Etheridge - which had been catchy- but awkward seeing as he had sung it with his eyes glued on Shelby.
Nothing about these lessons had made her feel supported. Santana didn't care if she had the whole glee club backing her up, it didn't make her feel any less alone. It didn't lessen what she had to lose.
It was the end of day two and Santana was seriously considering ditching school for the rest of the week so it could all stop.
And then, as she was getting the stuff she needed for homework out of her locker, Finn had approached her.
And then, he'd told her he didn't want her to die.
Even though Santana had joked it away, even though she'd laughed it off- the words had crawled down her spine- making all the hairs on her neck stand on end.
She'd never watched an It Gets Better video, but she'd heard in passing what it was about. She knew it was a big movement, with everyone from Hilary Clinton to nobodies like Kurt and Blaine- all taping themselves telling gay kids that they wouldn't always feel so shitty.
Asking them to live.
When she got home Santana powered up her laptop while she kicked off her sneakers and discarded her bag. As her computer processed to load her desk top Santana undid her pony tail and threaded her fingers through her hair, trying to loosen the tension threading through her. It worked on her scalp but no where else.
Once her desktop had appeared Santana pulled up a Google Chrome window and typed into the search bar a paraphrased version of Finn's words to her earlier.
Teen commits suicide after making It Gets Better video.
A bunch of results from news sites loaded, all mentioning a kid called Jamey Rodemeyer. Santana clicked on a link at random and watched as a Washington Post article filled the screen.
Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old high school freshman in Buffalo, N.Y., was bullied. A lot. After years of being called gay slurs at school and being told by anonymous people online that he should die, he killed himself Monday.
Santana scrolled down the page until she found the embedded video of Jamey's It Gets Better video which, according to the article, he'd made a couple of months before he died. She hovered her mouse over the video, her finger poised to click play. She looked into the still starting image of his face and was surprised at how young he looked. Had she looked that young at 14?
He had nice lips, she noticed. He had big brown eyes. Kind of like her own. He had long eyelashes- the sort that only boys seemed lucky enough to get.
Santana clicked play, not able to shake the thought that she was watching a ghost.
Jamey and Santana didn't appear to have much in common when they were fourteen.
He'd already come out as being bi.
She'd been dating Puck. And Leon. And Brad. The athlete equivalent of a royal flush- Football, Hockey and Basketball.
He'd been taunted in his school hallways, trapped there, called names.
She'd been so intimidating that people thanked her for cutting in on them in the cafeteria line.
He'd been told he was going to hell over the internet.
She'd had 'devils2ndincommand' as her email user name.
They had been so different. And yet. Their voices both tilted upwards when they were warding off tears.
Santana had been fourteen when she'd kissed a girl for the first time. It had felt less like kissing and more like being thrown across the room.
Santana had been fourteen the day she picked up her Dad's razor in the shower and pressed the blades harder than she should have against her thumb.
She'd kept going three years longer than Jamey had. But her knots had only tightened, her truths were only further away.
Santana didn't make it through the whole video. She snapped her laptop shut on his still talking image and vaulted off her chair, backing away from her desk like it was diseased. After several steps her calves hit the frame of her bed. She lay down on her side, curled around herself and clutched her knees tightly against her chest to stifle her panic.
Santana had recognized the exhaustion that put a permanent curve on her shoulders, and the fear that she shared her pillow with. The dullness that hollowed out her chest.
She'd seen them all in Jamey's face.
Brittany:
No matter how often Santana said she hated Finn's idea for their musical lesson, she wasn't able to convince Brittany.
Brittany had only said out loud once that she thought it was a good idea, the rest of the times she'd tucked her objections like sucker lollies into the corners of her cheeks. She'd let Santana vent because she loved her. And because it meant that she was thinking about it, not blowing it off completely.
Brittany liked the lesson because it meant that everyone she loved was sitting together in the same room again. She liked the lesson because everyone seemed to be starting to understand the things about Santana that Brittany had known all along.
And Brittany liked the lesson because two days into it, three of her best friends in the world approached her in the hallway for the first time since she been magically wished away from the New Directions.
She'd had her head buried in her locker, sifting through her stuff, hoping that the essay plan she'd left in there two weeks ago had grown itself into an essay. Someone said her name and she jumped, hitting her elbow on the corner of the door.
"Ouch," she rubbed it and turned to see who was talking to her.
Artie had positioned his chair in front of her, flanked by Tina and Mike.
"Oh, hey guys." She smiled as brightly as she could and tried to keep her voice soft in case she scared them away like squirrels in the park she'd tried to be friends with.
"Have you guys come asking about my campaign policies? Because…" She shuffled back around in her locker for the shoebox full of extra pamphlets but she stopped when Tina put a hand on her arm.
"A-actually, Mike, Artie and I were wondering if we could have a words with you...privately?"
"Uh...Yeah okay." Brittany nodded, closing her locker and picking up her folder from the ground between her sneakers. Wordlessly, she followed them through the crowd until they reached an unused class room. Brittany smiled fondly when she recognised it as Mr Shue's Spanish class. It was colourfully decorated with all things Spanish- posters of bull fighters and sombreros and people playing guitars. Intermixed with the pictures were bight red and yellow posters with Spanish words on them. The words reminded Brittany of Santana because Santana often spoke a mixture of Spanish and English when she was around her family. And also when she was mad.
And sometimes, when Brittany had been really good, Santana would whisper Spanish into her ear when they were alone- when she was hovering over Brittany in the dark, her hands everywhere at once. And Brittany would pull her closer and kiss her because she liked the taste of Spanish on Santana's tongue.
Brittany stopped thinking about those things because Artie, Mike and Tina were all looking at her and she was pretty sure that Asians and people with glasses could read minds. That's why North Korea was so dangerous.
Brittany propped herself up onto a desk and looked around at them.
"What's up guys?"
Mike, Tine and Artie all shared a glance- obviously playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to work out who would speak first. It seemed Artie had lost.
"Britt," he started, rolling closer to her. "We've been thinking a lot about what's been happening these past few weeks with Santana and the ad and stuff. And since this weeks lesson is designed to help her deal with everything we just were afraid that…well..." He hesitated, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.
Tina picked up where he'd left off.
"We were afraid that no one had asked you if you were okay. I mean, asked if you were having a hard time too or if you were coping with everything that's happening?"
Brittany blinked at them, completely taken aback. She thought hard about her answer.
"Well, I mean, when Santana hurts I hurt." She frowned, "though, I think that's actually because we're each others Daemons."
Artie, Mike and Tina all shared another glance and Brittany realised that they might not know what Daemons were.
"You know," she prompted, "like Lyra and Pan? Or Mrs Coulter and her monkey daemon?"
They were all giving her the same puzzled look.
"The Golden Compass?" She asked in a last ditch effort. Tina's face cleared somewhat.
"Oh, that movie with the bear in it?"
Encouraged, Brittany nodded. "A really big bear called Iorek Byrnison."
"Oh, okay Britt," Mike laughed. "I think I've seen that one, I get it now." But Brittany thought that he didn't look like he did. And neither did Artie who started to say, "I don-" but then Tina cut across him.
"We're just. Well, we just were wanting to see how you were doing. This is a bit like coming out for you too, isn't it?"
"Well, not really. I mean, I've kissed like...three quarters of this school and a lot of them were girls so...it'd be silly if people didn't know. And besides, I don't keep my own secrets too often, just in case I mix them up with someone else's and spread mine by mistake.
"R-right," Artie faltered. "Do your parents know about you and Santana?"
Brittany shrugged. "I haven't told either of them, but they might."
"Do they know that you like girls and boys?"
Brittany shrugged again. "They could do. But I haven't told them. If they want to know they'll ask and then I'll tell them. It's no big deal, I'm sure they'll be fine with it because like, my Dad wants to be best friends with Ellen and everyone knows she's our leader so all he'll care about is whether or not I can get him free tickets to one of her 12 Days of Giveaways shows. And my Mom used to be a vegan in college so she's obviously who I got it off."
Brittany smiled politely up at the posters on the walls while Artie, Tina and Mike had another telepathic conversation. Then Tina scooted onto the desk beside her and took one of Brittany's hands. When she did that Brittany felt an odd swelling in her chest that usually meant she was about to cry. She realised that she'd missed Tina and then she looked over at Artie and Mike and realised that she missed them too. A lump lodged in her throat.
"We really care about you, you know that right?" Tina asked.
Brittany nodded, blinking back the tears.
"And you know that we love you because you're you. And you shouldn't change for anyone." Brittany grinned and nodded again, her eyes full.
"Uhuh," she replied.
Tina squeezed her hand. "Good."
"Dancing buds for life, yeah?" Mike asked. Brittany put the heel of her palm against her nose and sniffed to clear it.
"Of course,' she replied. "I love you guys."
Artie pumped his fist. "That's the stuff. Bring it in y'all," he exclaimed, opening his arms.
They all tumbled against him in a group hug and Brittany's cheeks began to hurt from grinning.
"I want to perform with you again," Tina whined as they all disengaged.
"So do I," Brittany pouted, wishing there was some way they could all just be one group again without fighting.
And then, an idea struck her that was so good it nearly beat the great Fake Tan Lord Tubbington plan of '09.
"Well, maybe we could!" She said. "I could actually use all you guys for something I'm planning. Artie, do you know how to make a slideshow?"
Artie looked like he was fighting a grin.
"Hmmm, well I'm only programming my own video game at the moment so a slideshow might be a bit advanced for me."
"Oh," Brittany said, disappointed. Something about this made Artie laugh.
"I'm kidding, of course I can help you out with that."
"Oh, yay! Thank you!" She beamed and then beckoned them in closer to her until they resembled a team huddle.
"Here's the plan…"
Santana:
Santana sat in third period and did not once glance up at the board to see what she was supposed to be paying attention to. Her mind was whirring around what Coach Sue had told her when Santana had gone in to see her at her office that morning.
The ad would run in a week, according to Coach Sue's sources.
Santana still couldn't figure out if that amount of time was a blessing or a curse. There were three people who needed to know. Three people who would be hurt the most if that ad ran.
Santana felt the reality of the situation mounting. She found herself starting mental conversations with her parents and her Abuela before she'd even admitted to herself that she was going to tell them. She kept imagining what they would say to her- threading their voices through words of encouragement. Through words of hate.
She couldn't tell which fit better.
The bell for third period rang like a gift. Santana was first up, first out. She pulled out her phone, intending to text Britt and get her to meet her for lunch but she saw she already had a message from her.
Hey bbe, can you make it to the auditorium at the beginning of lunch?
Santana frowned down at her phone, instantly suspicious. She'd made Brittany swear that she wouldn't get into league with Finn and join in on his ridiculous lesson.
Brittany hadn't text back to her "why?" so Santana reluctantly headed for the auditorium, wondering if she ought to have brought her pepper spray along- just in case Finn tried to sit her down and decided to sing something by Tegan and Sara.
When she opened the doors at the very top of the auditorium her eyes took a moment to adjust to the dimness. The flow of empty seats yawned around her and she thought at first that it was empty but then she caught sight of dim figures walking back and forth across the stage.
Prepared for an ambush, maybe a Kurt with a rainbow colored sack and a bedazzled cattle prod, Santana took the stairs slowly, squinting down to the stage. She could make out three stools set up in the centre and off to one side of them a desk with a laptop and a projector had been set up. Santana stopped three quarters of the way down as she spotted Artie roll himself across to the laptop, plug in a cord and click something. Then suddenly, the blank wall at the back of the stage bloomed with light, and showed a projected version of the computers desk top. It's wallpaper was Lord Tubbington on Santana's lap- ten times magnified.
Santana frowned at the projection, wondering why on earth Brittany's computer was being used. Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone on the stage do a double take and raise a hand, beckoning her forth. Santana looked properly and recognised Mike.
"Santana!" He called, bounding off the stage and up the stairs towards her. "Have a seat here, front row." Santana followed him suspiciously down the stairs.
"What's all this about? Where's Brittany?" She asked when they stopped at a seat he was pointing out for her. Mike placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down into her seat.
"She's just back stage- won't be long." He dropped down into the chair beside her. "So Santana, how's your day been?"
"Cut the crap Chang. Go get Brittany," she snapped.
Mike opened his moth to protest but they both were distracted as a spot light dropped it's beam onto the stage. Artie was positioned beside a microphone stand, holding the mic in his hands. Mike slipped out of his seat and crept up to the stage, disappearing in the wings. Santana's stomach knotted.
Artie grinned down at her and, in his best announcers voice, called, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present... Miss Brrritttannnyyy Piiierrccee!"
Artie held out and arm and Santana followed it to the side of the stage where she made out the dim outline of Brittany walking towards the spotlight. Artie set the mic back on the stand and rolled back towards the laptop, letting Brittany step into the light.
When she did, Santana felt her breath leave her. Brittany had changed out of her Cheerios uniform and wore a dark blue dress- simple, short- with material that shimmered in the glare. Her hair hung loose- a straight slash of blonde that scattered over the tops of her shoulders.
Santana stared upwards, taking her in. Those legs that seemed heaven bound and eyes all their own shade of blue.
Smiling abashedly at Santana, Brittany stepped up to the microphone stand, adjusting it up to her height. In one hand Santana noticed Brittany clutching something. It looked like a pack of cards.
Magic tricks? Santana thought wildly. With Brittany, anything was possible.
When the stand was the right height Brittany took a breath and looked back at Santana.
"Hello," she spoke shyly into the microphone. Santana smiled a smile she couldn't stop and wiggled her fingers in wave.
"Santana," she said in a breathy voice- almost as though she was reminding herself of something or tucking the sound of Santana's name under her tongue to savour it.
"I know that you made me promise not to join in on Finn's lesson because you were convinced that he was related to Big Bird and wanted to lure me into his van. And we both know that I have a fundamental distrust of anyone related to Big Bird. And…" Brittany faltered and then dropped her eyes to her hand. "Oh," she murmured to herself and opened her fist up so that she could see the cards properly.
Cue cards. Santana realised, with a tug of fondness. Brittany's forehead crinkled as she flipped through the cards, trying to catch up with herself.
"...so...so...Oh. Okay," Brittany had found her place. "So because you didn't want me to join in on Finn's lesson, but didn't specify the… definition...of 'join in', I've decided that it is within the rules for me to hold a lesson of my own." Brittany looked up at this point, changing her card as she did so.
"One of the things that I love about you," she continued, glancing back down at her hand, "is that you stand up and fight for the things that you believe in. Whether it be your ongoing quest to be the sole Captain of the Cheerios or the continuation of Breadstix 'unlimited free bread sticks policy'. Or the people you love. I know this because you've always fought for me."
Brittany's expression turned solemn as her eyes caught Santana's.
"But what makes me sad is that you don't fight for yourself. Because you don't believe in yourself. Not deep down where you keep your true feelings. And I see you hurting everyday because we as a society have been taught that you have to be the right kind of different to be considered special. My lesson for you today is to help show you that that is not true."
Brittany paused and nodded to Artie who double clicked a power point icon on her desktop. At the back of the stage, a photograph spun theatrically onto the screen. Santana bit back a laugh.
"Meet Gandalf the Grey," Brittany gestured up at the screen as she read off her cue cards. "The wizard who played an in-integral role in helping Frodo destroy Sauron's ring. He was portrayed in the movie trilogy by Sir Ian McKellen, who is considered one of the best British actors of his generation. He is gay."
Brittany changed cards as the photo of Gandalf dissolved behind her and was replaced by another very familiar wizard.
"This is Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Before he died, Professor Dumbledore was the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. He was also considered by most to be the most powerful wizard in the world. It was because of his tireless effort, including giving his own life, that Harry Potter was able to save the wizarding world and defeat Lord Voldemort. As if the LGBT community didn't have enough magic with Gandalf, they have Dumbledore too. J.K. Rowling confirmed in an interview that she'd always considered Dumbledore to be gay."
The screen changed again as Brittany once again flipped cards. This time, two black and white photographs replaced Dumbledore. The two woman in the photographs were beautiful- Golden-age Hollywood, Santana suspected. Their faces were familiar.
"Greta Garbo and Marlene Dietrich," Brittany said. "Arguably two of the most famous actresses of all time. Both had an affair with the same woman."
The screen morphed once again into a statue of a man's head.
"Alexander the Great. The undefeated leader of the largest empire in the world. He is considered one of the greatest military commanders of all time. The closest relationship of his life was with that of his general and bodyguard Hephaestion. Many historians consider their relationship to have been a romantic one, and bisexuality during Alexander's time was considered normal."
Next on the slideshow was Leonardo Da Vinci. Then Steve Job's replacement as CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, Ellen DeGeneres, 1931 Nobel Peace Prize winner Jane Addams. Then came Adam and Steve - the resident gay penguin couple at Harbin Polar Land in China.
Brittany flipped to her final cue card and the photo of the penguins pin-wheeled away, replaced by a picture of a wet haired Santana, sideways smiling at the camera with her mouth full.
Santana felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment.
She remembered the day it had been taken- during one of their lake trips in the summer. Brittany had just placed a strawberry between her lips and made Santana try to prise it from them with her own lips. This was Santana victorious face that Britt had snuck a picture of.
"Meet Santana Lopez," Brittany said, turning to smile up at the picture. "She's going to go places. She's beautiful, she's special. And when she sees herself the way everyone else does, she'll be just as convinced as I am that she deserves to take her rightful place up there amongst those gay men and women who have changed the world."
Santana could feel her chest constricting with emotion as Brittany, her cue cards abandoned, beamed a smile so wide down at Santana that her eyes were nearly squeezed shut.
"And now, please enjoy a quick recess while we get ready for the second part of out lesson."
Someone back stage dulled the spotlight, throwing the stage once more into dimness. Santana took the opportunity to wipe her face as figures once again began to move around the stage.
When the stage lit up once again, two guys that Santana recognised from the school band were positioned near the back of the stage, behind the stools. Both held acoustic guitars plugged into nearby amps. Brittany was once again at the mic stand, lit by the brightest spotlight. She gripped the stand with one hand and spoke into the mic.
"I found this song and I want to sing it to you today. I hope it makes you feel all the things that I felt when I first heard it. Some very good friends of mine agreed to help me out with it," Brittany gestured to the side stage and Santana watched as Mike and Tina appeared, holding microphones. They sat on the stools a behind Brittany. Artie rolled out after them and took his place beside Mike's stool.
As they settled, Santana drew her eyes back to Brittany, already feeling the emotion mounting.
Under the spotlight, one hand white knuckled on around the microphone, Brittany took a fortifying breath and turned to nod over her shoulder. At her signal the two guitar players began to play. It was a folky tune- and their different chords intertwined with one another- almost like one conversation that was filled with two different, but equally beautiful meanings.
Brittany had her eyes closed, beating her fingers in time to the rhythm, waiting for her cue.
Santana thought she had never seen Brittany look more beautiful until she opened her mouth and began to sing.
This is the first day of my life.
Swear I was born right in the doorway.
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed,
They're spreading blankets on the beach.
The others had joined in the song but Santana heard only Brittany. The words seemed to have stuck Santana to her seat. She held her breath, she tried not to blink.
On the first verse, Brittany's eyes had scattered around the auditorium and drifted closed on the odd note as she relaxed into the song.
But at the beginning of the second verse, Brittany dropped her eyes from the back of the auditorium and looked at Santana.
Yours is the first face that I saw.
Think I was blind before I met you.
Now I don't know where I am,
I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go.
And so I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home.
Santana began to cry. But they weren't her scared tears. They weren't her hurt tears, they weren't her angry tears.
They were her moved tears. Her Brittany tears. She cried as the music swelled around her. But she did not screw up her face to chase them away or block them out or hide them. She just let them be while she watched Brittany sing to her.
When the song drifted to a close, there was a moment of electrified silence and then Santana remembered to clap. The sounds her hands made against one another were a pathetic response to what she'd just witnessed. But then, she reasoned, most things would have been. As she clapped the others seemed to melt to the wings, leaving only Brittany who left the mic stand and jumped down off the stage to stand shyly in front of Santana's chair.
On shaky legs, Santana rose and exhaled.
"I don't know what to say after that," she admitted shakily, sniffing.
Brittany looked fondly into her face, brushing a hand down Santana's cheek to catch a tear.
"It's okay," she murmured. "You don't-"
But Brittany had to stop because Santana stepped forwards and cupped her face in her hands, catching the rest of her sentence in a kiss.
As their mouths opened against one another Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany, pressing them together. She kissed Brittany without caring that they were at school, or that the others were probably still at the side of the stage.
She kissed Brittany and felt for the first time this week free of hesitation. Free of doubt.