Once again I'd like to thank glitterthorn for her brilliant idea! And what is that brilliant idea you may ask? I have no idea...Okay okay, you'll find out soon enough once you read the chapter. So let's get this party started! Hmm, just realized that was a lyric from Puppet ~ Thousand Foot Krutch (1). Often the song used for Sasori since he is well, a puppet. But I digress, sorry! This one's going to be in different POVs.
"Report this to every village. From here on out, Arai Hoshi is officially a Missing Nin, an S-Rank criminal. If anyone sees her, they are permitted to kill her on the spot." Tsunade's furious voice rang as she slammed her palms on the desk in fury."
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Hoshi
"We've managed to secure the scrolls that you so desired, Leader-sama." I reported to Leader-sama as I placed the scrolls in front of him on his desk.
"Good. Excellent job on your first mission Hoshi. Now, is there anything else?" he asked.
"I ran into trouble when I tried to steal the scrolls. Some ANBU and a few Chuunin ambushed us and the leader was none other than Misaki Suzu. I've taken care of them so there's no need to worry about them."
"I see. By the way Hoshi. It seems that after your mission, you've been announced an official S-Rank criminal. You are now an official honorary member of the Akatsuki (2). I commend you on your hard work." he announced, putting his hands in front of him.
I gasped, "T-thank you sir." and shook hands with Leader-sama.
We heard a slight banging from the door. Leader-sama raised an eyebrow. I shrugged, having an idea of what was going on outside.
"You may come in if you wish..." Leader-sama said, still looking at the door.
With that, the door flew open. And who else was on the other side you ask? The rest of the Akatsuki, with Deidara, Hidan, and Tobi sprawled out on the floor. A chuckle escaped my throat. Leader-sama looked at them oddly before shaking his head and sighing. I simply smiled at him.
"Now...if you'll excuse me...can you all please leave?" Leader-sama demanded, more than asked.
We all scrambled out of his office hurriedly, afraid he'll have our heads if we don't listen. Knowing Leader-sama, he wouldn't hesitate a bit. Before I could leave, I noticed a presence behind me. When I turned around, my eyes were welcomed to dark blue hair and amber eyes.
I smiled, "Konan!"
"Congratulations on your mission Hoshi." she smiled warmly at me.
"Thank you." and we both returned to where the others were walking.
After awhile, they headed to the kitchen so we followed in pursuit. Feeling hungry, I rummaged through the cabinets in search of a snack while the others seated themselves on the chairs of the dining table. Finding some oranges, I peeled and placed them on a plate.
"Hey, you know, now that Hoshi is officially an Akatsuki, why not have a party, un?" suggested Deidara as I set the plate down.
"YAY! A PARTY! LET'S HAVE ONE SENPAI! PLEASE! TOBI LOVES PARTIES!" Tobi shouted, clearly deafening everyone in the room.
"Yeah, a fuckin' party. That's what we need. It's been so damn boring these days. Finally some excitement!" Hidan agreed, nibbling on an orange slice.
I smiled as everyone agreed and made preparations. I didn't realize that I wasn't in the mood for one until Konan handed me an orange slice.
"Cheer up Hoshi! This party is going to be just for you. At least look alive."
"Look...alive?" I muttered repeatedly.
Konan cocked her head sideways, puzzled by my bemusement. I stood up and pushed my chair in, leaving the rambling criminals in their own lil' world. Konan looked concerned, but she knew that I needed to be by myself. No one even noticed that I had left.
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Deidara
I chatted with the guys for about 5 minutes, suggesting and pointing out things here and there. Boy is this gonna be a fun party! I grinned, turning to ask Hoshi a few things. But when I went to turn to face her, the only thing that might my gaze was a chair. The chair that Hoshi was sitting on. Where could she have gone? And why did she leave? Troubled, I looked at Konan and told her that I was going to look for Hoshi.
I made my way to the living room, nada. Pein's office? Zilch. Her bedroom maybe? Just about 20 shopping bags. Bathroom? Nada. Under this rock? Nope. Zetsu's stomach? Just a few bloody bones and undigested hearts and hands. But no Hoshi. Where could that girl be? I decided to look outside. That was the only place I haven't looked in. After I aimlessly wandered around, I saw the beautiful forest. It was pretty in the day I guess. But at night? I can't even describe how beautiful it looked. Oh hey I just did! Okay okay, back to business. That looked like a pretty good place for her to go to. Besides, she wasn't anywhere else.
I took a step towards the forest, followed by another step, and another, and ano- okay you get the point. As I made my way through the trees that seemed to blossom with life, a clearing greeted me. Of course, this was high ground, so the edge of the clearing was a cliff. I mean, who would ever be stupid enough to sit on the edge of that right? Unless they wanted to die or something. But surely someone couldn't be THAT stupid! Especially not Ho- HOSHI? WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING THERE?
I rubbed my eyes, sure enough it was Hoshi. Lying on her back with her hands behind her head. Right there. Near the cliff. Near the edge. Near her death. Jeez, I had a feeling this girl was crazy and weird but not this weird and suicidal. I walked towards her, she responded by staring at the sky. What's she staring at? I walked beside her, lying down on my back just like her, hands on my stomach.
As I look up, I could see why she was so absorbed into the sky. It was absolutely mesmerizing. With the bright gleaming stars scattered all over, fireflies flying around, the trees at the corner of my eyes in full bloom with flowers in every color imaginable. The best of all, a pearl white moon shining just overhead as if watching over and protecting us in its resonating light. And the stars seemed to dance with the fireflies.
I looked over at Hoshi. She seemed to be captivated by the beauty and peaceful harmony. I think I like her like this, rather than her side of a female Hidan. Or that horrible time of a female Tobi. Shudder. In a way, she kind of reminds me of Sasori-no-danna. Her eyes shone as bright as the wild laughing stars, true to her name, though they were calm and serene. Her mouth agape, and her cheeks rosy red. I don't think she noticed that I was here, so I decided to speak first.
"Hoshi? What're you doing out here? Why aren't you inside planning with the others, hm?"
She didn't seem to be aware of me, even when I spoke. I was about to repeat myself until she spoke.
"I don't feel like it." was her answer.
"Wha? Why, un?" I asked.
For a minute, her azure eyes turned darker, and sadder. She broke her majestic gaze with the sky and looked down. I wonder what was bothering her this much.
"Because..."
She seemed hesitant, as if she was pondering over the thought if she could trust me enough to tell. After a while, she must've decided to trust me. Probably just to get it off her chest.
"I...I don't like to party when I'm sad."
Before I could ask her why she was sad, she intervened, "Ne, Deidara, do you want to be immortal? To live life for all eternity?"
I was surprised that she'd bring up something like that, "No. Just like my art, I'd wish to live life, but not for forever. I'd like to go out with a bang, un!" I smiled.
"Oh." was all she said.
"Why would you ask that, hm?"
"...B-because...Leader-sama, I made a deal with him. On that day that you kidnapped me. When you and Hidan were asked to step out, Leader-sama offered a deal. I was foolish to accept it. He offered me my left arm, that is, if I join the Akatsuki."
"Oh. So that's how you got back your arm, un." I stated, still not getting what immortality has to do with this.
"Yes...and I regret it." she gritted her teeth, "Turns out Leader-sama ordered Sasori-san to make me a human puppet."
I gasped a little, I was shocked, but then again I wasn't. Leader-sama would do something like that, just to get what he wanted. And Sasori-no-danna wouldn't really care. He probably enjoyed it, claiming that it was part of his "beautiful art". I respect Danna for his art, but turning Hoshi into a human puppet? Without her consent? And for her to endure something like that for the rest of her life? Which is forever? That was low. Even for him.
I tried to cheer her up, "At least you get all eternity? Most humans would kill to be immortal, hm. You're-"
She growled, which could compare to a dog's, "I don't want eternity."
I grimaced, I shouldn't have brought that up.
"I want a normal human life. I want to die. I wantto eat. I want to drink. I wantto feel. I want to sleep. I wantto be harmed. I want to be 'burdened by all these human hindrances'' as Sasori-san puts it. Being in this...shell of hollowness and nothingness is agony. It's torture. When I licked the blood off of my Vigoorian Flail, I tasted nothing. Nothing. I couldn't even feel the wetness of the blood. 'Look alive' saids Konan. How the fuck can I 'look alive' when I'm stuck in this dreaded body?"
I winced, Hoshi was getting infuriated. I sympathized her. And I kind of hate Sasori-no-danna and Leader-sama at the moment, why did they have to do that to her? To put her in that cruel fate? Hoshi was different. She was different from everyone I met. And I like it, she's the first person that's different. But in a good sense. She didn't deserve this. To suffer as she did now.
"It's cold. Yet, it's not. I feel cold inside, but not outside. I feel as if...I'm trapped. In a cage. Like a bird. Wanting to get free. Do you know what it's like? You can't even hug your loved ones, or even just high five a friend. You can't feel. You can't even eat, eat any food you'd like, or drink anything you like. To have your taste buds dance on your tongue from the magnificent smell. Or your nose picking up any heavenly aroma. You can't even sleep, or dream for fuck's sake. A dream is where you've left reality for a better place. Inside your mind. Inside your world of desires, hope, or fears, or anything. All that's taken from me. All because of this dreaded, cursed body. Sasori-san saids that emotions are a hindrance. I...I agree, but...what's life without emotion? It's like you're a robot. Just a tool. That can be easily tossed aside and abandoned. Sasori-san said that if I ever get damaged, I can always be fixed. That's a lie. If I could be repaired as much as I need to, why is this still left broken?" she clutched her heart, "If I could be fixed, then why shouldn't Sasori-san fix this for me? Take its pain away. It hurts so bad..." she whispered.
"Hoshi..." I mumbled.
"Fuck, I can't even cry for fuck's sake. I know that most people would find that weak. But crying doesn't indicate that you're weak, since birth, it's been a sign that you're still alive. If I can't cry right now, how can I even be alive? After all, the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears." she went on.
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Sasori
I had excused myself from Hoshi when we arrived back to the Akatsuki base. There our paths separated, and she went to report to Leader-sama about our mission. After she left, I got out of Hiruko, placing him in a summoning scroll. I had walked into the forest, looking for some peace and quiet. And peace and quiet is what I got, that is...until after half an hour later. Hoshi had walked into the forest, with concern and dismay stained her features, so I decided to follow her and see what was wrong.
After I followed her, she laid down on the ground, looking at the stars in the sky. I stayed hidden in the trees and bushes. I was about to go out there to ask her what was wrong, after all, I was probably the reason why she was so down since I had lashed out at her a couple of times, even when she was apologizing. Before I could though, another figure appeared. Blond hair and blue eyes, Deidara? What was he doing here?
I think I'm going to stay hidden, maybe she'll tell him why she's so depressed. That way I don't need to make myself known. Their conversation went like this:
"Hoshi? What're you doing out here? Why aren't you inside planning with the others, hm?"
"I don't feel like it."
"Wha? Why, un?"
"Because...I...I don't like to party when I'm sad."Pause. "Ne, Deidara, do you want to be immortal? To live life for all eternity?" I knew it. The cause of depression is me, isn't it? Sigh. Girls were so complicated.
"No. Just like my art, I'd wish to live life, but not for forever. I'd like to go out with a bang, un!" Insolent brat. He knows nothing, of true art.
"Oh."
"Why would you ask that, hm?"
"...B-because...Leader-sama, I made a deal with him. On that day that you kidnapped me. When you and Hidan were asked to step out, Leader-sama offered a deal. I was foolish to accept it. He offered me my left arm, that is, if I join the Akatsuki."She was actually telling him? Who knew that someone could trust Deidara of all people.
"Oh. So that's how you got back your arm, un."
"Yes...and I regret it."
"At least you get all eternity? Most humans would kill to be immortal, hm. You're-"
"I don'twanteternity."What? Who in their right mind would refuse eternity? To be immortal? To suppress those limitations of being human?
"Iwanta normal human life. Iwantto die. Iwant to eat. I wantto drink. Iwant to feel. Iwantto sleep. Iwant to be harmed. Iwantto be 'burdened by all these human hindrances'' as Sasori-san puts it. Being in this...shell of hollowness and nothingness is agony. It's torture. When I licked the blood off of my Vigoorian Flail, I tasted nothing. Nothing. I couldn't even feel the wetness of the blood. 'Look alive' saids Konan. How the fuck can I 'look alive' when I'm stuck in this dreaded body?"She paused, then continued on.
"It's cold. Yet, it's not. I feel cold inside, but not outside. I feel as if...I'm trapped. In a cage. Like a bird. Wanting to get free. Do you know what it's like? You can't even hug your loved ones, or even just high five a friend. You can't feel. You can't even eat, eat any food you'd like, or drink anything you like. To have your taste buds dance on your tongue from the magnificent smell. Or your nose picking up any heavenly aroma. You can't even sleep, or dream for fuck's sake. A dream is where you've left reality for a better place. Inside your mind. Inside your world of desires, hope, or fears, or anything. All that's taken from me. All because of this dreaded, cursed body. Sasori-san saids that emotions are a hindrance. I...I agree, but...what's life without emotion? It's like you're a robot. Just a tool. That can be easily tossed aside and abandoned. Sasori-san said that if I ever get damaged, I can always be fixed. That's a lie. If I could be repaired as much as I need to, why is this still left broken?"she clutched her heart,"If I could be fixed, then why shouldn't Sasori-san fix this for me? Take its pain away. It hurts so bad..."she whispered.
Hmm...I can't deny that she's not telling the truth. I missed those things when I first turned myself into a puppet. But she'll learn to adapt.
But...I'll admit, she's...different. Different from all the girls I've meant, different from everyone I met actually. To want to die? To want to feel harm? Indeed, she's extremely different. But unique. I'll give her that. All the girls I've met were...obnoxious, and rude, and knew nothing of art. But her...
"Hoshi..."
"Fuck, I can't even cry for fuck's sake. I know that most people would find that weak. But crying doesn't indicate that you're weak, since birth, it's been a sign that you're still alive. If I can't cry right now, how can I even be alive? After all, the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears."
What is this feeling? This feeling that's buzzing in my stomach. And why does my heart hurt? Am...am I feeling...guilt? Twitch. What is this girl doing to me?
(1) - /watch?v=tHAn5mYtn3M Lyrics to Puppet ~ Thousand Foot Krutch if you guys wanna listen to it. It's a good song so give it a chance. The first part of the link is "youtube" but for some reason this site won't lemme enter its name.
(2) - If you guys are confused about her being an "official" Akatsuki, it's because she was just a minor addition from the beginning, something like Tobi, except lower than that? But she was given a chance to show her skills so that's why Pein gave her a mission.
The part with Sasori's POV is just traced back to where Deidara starts talking to Hoshi. It's the same conversation, just with Sasori's thoughts. I'm sorry if Sasori seems a bit OOC, but this is a SasoriOC, so I thought I might speed things up a bit with his feelings. So sorry about that!
Also, thank you for joining the wagon windwolf1988 for adding this story to your Story Alerts! Till next time.