Hello everyone! Just a quick than you to everyone who's read so far, and for those of you who have taken the time to leave a review! Hope you all enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 3:
Galadriel was quiet as we made our way down the stairs towards the garden. Though neither of us were speaking, I could feel her presence in my mind, trying to figure me out before the mirror could tell her. I liked to think of it as some kind of game, her trying to figure out how and why I was here without the help of her mirror. Though I knew that she was going to find out all about me in just a matter of minutes, for some reason I still willed myself to shut her out, to hide all of my secrets for as long as I could. I don't even really know how I got here anyways, I reminded myself.
We soon reached the bottom of the staircase, and I stepped off onto the cool grass. Though I was wearing a pair of thin slippers that I had been given this morning, I could still feel the morning dew as the long blades of grass brushed against my ankles. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, surprised to feel my body instantly relaxing as I breathed in the fresh forest air. I could practically feel the magic around me, something that I had not noticed until now. The tension in my muscles had disappeared by the time we arrived at the mirror of Galadriel, though my legs had begun to wobble as I caught sight of the silver basin.
Stopping as she arrived beside the mirror, Galadriel picked up in her hand a pitcher and filled it in the nearby stream, before slowly emptying it into the basin that rested on top of the thick pillar in the centre of the small clearing. Taking a deep breath, I glanced up and met Galadriel's eyes, knowing that she did not feel the need to explain the mirror. She could tell that I already knew about it. Taking an uncertain step forwards, Galadriel gave me a small smile, her eyes shining in encouragement before she shifted her gaze back towards the water, her eyes somber once again. My feet covered the rest of the small distance in a matter of seconds, and before I knew it I was staring down into the dark, shallow pool.
My heart began to race as Galadriel leaned down and gently blew on the water, sending ripples across its calm surface, before it quickly smoothed over once again, as smooth as glass. Suddenly, the surface began to quiver, droplets of water rising and bouncing just above the basin. The black water instantly turned to a brilliant white, and I had to blink hard, caught off guard. In that instant, I felt as if I was no longer standing in front of the mirror, but rather inside of it, surrounded by white light.
I looked around, my pulse racing as I wondered what was going on. Before me, three figures slowly seemed to materialise from the light. Two of them had silver hair that glimmered in the bright light around them. The third had hair as black as the night sky which sparkled with the light of the stars. Their very beings seemed to emit an indescribable beauty. Surprisingly, I felt no fear as I stood before these three godly beings, only curiosity and wonder. Quickly, my surroundings started to become visible, and I was soon standing in a garden much like the one that I had just been standing in with Galadriel, and yet different all the same.
"Welcome, child of Ilúvatar, to the gardens of Lórien," the first, a woman, spoke up suddenly as I began to be able to pick out the details of the three beings in front of me. She wore a gown of silver and gold, which sparkled as she moved towards me. I stood silent, unable to form words. "I am Varda, the Queen of the Valar and of the stars. This is Irmo, the Lord of Dreams, Visions, and Desires," she continued, gesturing to the one with black hair, who I now realised to be a man, or at least a male being of some sort, for I now came to realise that I was standing before three of the Valar. "And this is Estë, wife of Irmo," she added, gesturing now to the third and final Vala that stood before me, who smiled, her eyes warm and reassuring.
"You are standing in my gardens, you may be at ease here," Irmo spoke now, his voice deep and as smooth as silk. With his words, the last of my uncertainty left my body, and I felt comfortable with these strangers.
"Why am I here?" I asked once I was able to find my voice. The three Valar smiled at me, each seeming to be deep in thought.
"You are here because I brought you here," Irmo spoke up after a few moments of silence. I stood, waiting expectantly for more of an explanation, but none came from him. Instead, Estë took another step towards me, now only a foot or so in front of me.
"I could feel your pain from these gardens, and I could not sleep knowing that a child of Eru was experiencing such deep sadness," Estë said, her voice seeming to penetrate my very soul.
"So why am I suddenly in Middle Earth? How do I get home?" I pressed my question further, feeling my desire to know the whole story growing with every word they spoke. The three only smiled again.
"Many surprises wait for you back on Middle Earth," Varda spoke next, her eyes twinkling.
As I stared at the three Valar in confusion, I suddenly felt the world around me begin to shift and fade away, the light dying out. Desperate for a better explanation, I opened my mouth to speak, but was silenced by some desire of Varda. As the scene quickly dissolved around me, the last thing I was able to make out was the reassuring gaze of Estë.
"Do not stray from the path which has been laid before you," I heard the voice of Varda say as she faded away. As quickly as it had appeared, it was all gone, and I found myself staring once again into the black mirror, my dumbfounded reflection staring back at me. Looking away from the mirror, I turned quickly to the Lady Galadriel, who appeared equally perplexed.
"Never before has the mirror been used to speak with the Valar. I never thought it possible until this day," she said, staring in awe at the silver basin before her. Before I had a chance to speak, she turned to face me. "And never before has the Valar chosen to transport anyone from one world to another. The world is truly changing." She stepped towards me and placed one hand on my cheek, looking deep into my eyes as if to uncover some secret that I was hiding from her. With my guard down, she was already inside my head. I could feel her presence, not at all forceful, but gentle and curious.
"I still don't understand why I'm here," I said, resisting the urge to whimper like a child. "I dreamed that I was in these woods, but I never woke up," I said, and Galadriel nodded, already knowing my story now that I had let her into my mind. Only, I did wake up. Just not in the right place.
"The Lord of Dreams intended for you to wake here, and the Valar know far more than you or I could ever hope to know," Galadriel said in reply to my thoughts. I frowned as I digested this new information, and finally turned from the basin as Lady Galadriel lowered her hand, my thoughts troubled despite the magic of the woods around me. From behind me, I heard Galadriel begin to empty the basin back into the stream.
"With time, you will come to learn all there is to learn, not only about this new world, but about yourself."
I closed my eyes as her words sank in. It looked like I wasn't going be finding a way home any time soon, not with the Valar so sure that this would all be a good change for me. Frustrated and mentally exhausted, I left Galadriel and the mirror behind me, heading back up to my flet, where I would be able to be alone with my thoughts for a while.
"Do not hide from your troubles, child," I heard Galadriel say from behind me. I furrowed my brows in frustration and kept walking, knowing that all I wanted right now was to be alone.
As soon as I was outside of the gardens, I threw myself into a run, not caring that elves stopped and stared at me as I passed them. I flew up the stairs as fast as I could go, only stopping once I had reached the flet below my own. Panting, I trudged up the last flight of steps and dragged myself to my flet, where I sat down in the chair, holding my face in my hands as I tried not to cry.
"I'm stuck here!" I let my emotions go, not caring anymore if anyone heard my cries from outside. I had learned how I had gotten here, and why I was here, but in doing so I had only managed to get even more confused. Opening my eyes, I lowered my hands and stared down at the scars on my arms, remembering how I had felt every time I had slid the razor along my pale skin. I shook my head fiercely at the thought, remembering Estë's eyes as she had faded away. "I cannot hurt myself, no matter what happens." I stopped cutting, and I'm not about to start doing it again.
I was startled from my thoughts by a knock on my door, and quickly reached up to wipe the tears from my face. Pulling myself up from the chair, I took several deep breaths, trying to steady my sobs as I made my way to the door. Turning the handle, I pulled the door open to find Haldir.
"Lady Galadriel sent me to ask if everything is all right," he said, his eyes shifting slightly, obviously not comfortable with such personal matters. I sighed and lowered my gaze, hating to trouble him with my problems.
"No, but there's nothing that anyone can do to help me," I replied, stifling a sob that had risen in my throat as I forced myself to put on a sad smile. I could tell that my words had piqued his interest.
"She tells me that you were not lying yesterday. That you come from a land unknown to her," he ventured. Though he was doing a good job of keeping straight face, I could tell that he was dying to know more about my story. Not seeing any reason to hide it, I decided that I might as well take advantage of the one other person here other than Galadriel and Celeborn who seemed to be able to talk with me.
"I do, a land called Earth. I live in a place called Canada, and there are no elves or dwarves or magical creatures. Only men," I said, feeling silly about how I had described my world to him. I wasn't going to tell him that I came from a completely different dimension, I didn't want to make him wary of me. To my surprise, he seemed to take in this new information pretty easily.
"A land of only men does not seem unlikely," he stated, thoughtful. "Do your people have much knowledge of Middle Earth?"
I nodded my head, hesitant to say much on the topic, but in his eyes I could see his desire to know more. Pursing my lips, I gestured out the door.
"Perhaps we should go for a walk, and I'll tell you more about myself and my people." Haldir nodded and started off as I followed, closing the door behind me. Though I would have much rather stayed inside, I figured that standing at the door chatting was kind of weird.
"Do you speak only Westron in your land?" He asked as soon as we had walked a short distance. We began to descend the first flight of stairs, heading in a direction that I hadn't gone yet.
"No, but we do not speak any of the languages known here. And Westron, as it is called here, is called English. It is my first language, but I also speak French," I said, settling in to the conversation. Though it made me sad to think about my home, it felt good to be able to talk about it. "My land has many regions, too many for me to name. There are almost as many languages and dialects as there are places." I paused, wondering if Haldir would question me further on the matter, or if I should continue on to something else.
"The technology in my land is also quite… Advanced compared to Middle earth," I carried on to another topic, however I did not want to go into too much detail on the matter. Cars and electricity would probably freak him out a little too much.
"We do not fight with swords, or bows. Instead we use different weapons, powered by powdered fire," I laughed at myself as the words left my mouth. "But since the evils of Middle earth have not ventured to Earth, we instead use them to wage war against the different regions. Just like the men here, the people on Earth desire power, and some will stop at nothing to get it. There have been many wars on Earth, some for obtaining land and resources, and some due to religion. Another thing that you should know about Earth is that not everyone who lives there believes in God. God is just one of the names that he is called, and he is our equivalent to Eru. Some people interpret God's word in different fashions, and because of this, they fight with each other." I stopped there, not wanting to bore him with the troubles of men, for I knew already that the elves did not often mess with their problems anymore.
"And do you believe in him?" Haldir asked after a moment's hesitation. I smiled as I realised that he was afraid of being nosy.
"Yes, I do. Some people dedicate their entire lives to him, doing their best to never ever go against his word. Though I try my best, there are some rules that I cannot help but break. I like to think that I am a good person, but I know that there are people out there who are far more dedicated than I am," I paused. "You don't have to worry about offending me. You can ask me anything. It feels good to talk about home," I said, looking over at him as we reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped into the grass. I saw him glance down towards my arms and was readying myself for his question before he even asked it.
"Who gave you those scars?"
I lowered my own gaze down to my arms and took a deep breath, hoping that he would understand.
"I did." I saw the look of confusion flash across his face as he tried to comprehend why I would purposefully hurt myself. "It's hard to explain, and I get it if you don't understand. I did it because I was very angry with myself, and cutting my arms was a way to distract myself from the emotional pain that I was feeling. I guess you could say that I was trying to release the tension by cutting myself." I took a deep breath to steady myself as I finished explaining. Though it had been a long while since I had stopped self-harming, it was still hard to talk about it, or even think about it.
"You should not hurt yourself," he stated after a moment of silence. I felt like laughing. Oh, if only I could tell you how many times I heard that. "I hope that you do not feel the need to do it again."
"I have not cut for a long time now, and I don't plan on doing it again if I can help it."
We walked in silence for a little while, and I listened to the distant sounds of laughter and friendly voices that were growing louder with every step. Deciding that I didn't want to venture too near to any of the other elves just yet, I stopped walking and looked up as Haldir stopped and turned around to look at me quizzically.
"I don't really want to be around too many elves yet," I said quietly, hoping that he wouldn't take it personally. I just didn't feel like being stared at today.
"Why not?" Haldir asked, coming to stand in front of me. I shook my head.
"I don't fit in here, and I know that they will stare at me. I don't like being watched," I said, somewhat embarrassed. Haldir smiled, the first genuine smile that I had seen on his face. I cocked an eyebrow, wanting to know why my discomfort was making him smile.
"They fear you," he said, his voice low. It's not like anyone can understand what you're saying, I thought.
"Why? I'm not going to hurt them, even if I could."
"They have heard about how my brothers' patrol found you in the woods. About how you manipulated the sun. They think you a witch," he said, almost laughing as he spoke the last word. I crossed my arms in front of my chest.
"I fail to see how that's funny," I said in response. Honestly, how could this day get any worse? Now everyone thinks that I'm a witch. When he noticed that I didn't find the matter funny, his expression evened out again and he looked away slightly.
"I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. They will soon come to realise that you are just a simple mortal, not a threat at all." After another moment of silence between the two of us, I decided that I was going to go and have some time for myself.
"Well, I'm going to go back to my flet. It was nice chatting with you," I said with a small smile. He nodded his farewell and I turned on my heel. But before I left, a thought popped into my mind.
"Haldir," I said, turning back around in a complete circle. He lifted his chin in question. "Could you teach me how to speak Sindarin? I think that it would help, even if I only learned a little." My question brought a smile to his mouth.
"Certainly, Lady Christa. Though do not expect to learn quickly. Sindarin is a language very different from Westron." He smirked and I smiled wide at his expression, feeling for the first time in some years that I had found someone who I could become friends with.
"Thanks, Haldir!" I said before turning and continuing on my way. Despite the day's events, I couldn't help but feel excited at this new development. I'm going to learn Sindarin!
So that's it for this chapter, guys! Sorry that it's a little bit shorter than the other two, hopefully the next one will be up soon and will be longer. Hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter, and that my portrayal of the three Valar that made appearances did them justice! I wanted to make the encounter vague, so hopefully it didn't give away too much in terms of why Christa is in Middle Earth. Btw, the mirror did not transport her physically to Irmo's gardens, she was just there in spirit.
Please remember to review and let me know what you think!
-Eru