Note:
Hello! Sorry this one took so long, I've super busy moving and organising stuff for uni. I got into my screen writing course woo!
Here is the chapter dealing with episode 10- Yes/No.
I hope you guys enjoy it!
Everyone has been so kind about the story and it means so much to me. It is big, big praise saying you think I could write for Glee. It would be my dream job! So thank you, it makes my day. So keep it up!
I'll try be quicker with the next chapter!
P.s: Sorry again for any mistakes! Soooo tireedddd.
P.p.s: Sorry for uploading ch 17 twice...Idk what happened but it deleted itself somehow!
Ch 18: No, Yes
2008, Brittany:
The evening sun had lit up Brittany's room in a way that made everything - from the specks of floating dust to the scattered homework papers on her desk- beautiful. It was coming in low and gold through her window and she didn't want that sun to go down any further than it already had. She wanted everything to always look this nice.
Homework wasn't the right sort of thing to be doing when the world looked like this. It reminded Brittany of those wide open summer evenings when she was little. The ones when she would ride her bike around the neighbourhood- listening to all the chirped dinner conversations of the birds around her and enjoy the satisfying click of her tires and the odd rush of a car which sort of sounded like waves on a beach.
Brittany wanted to go for a bike ride now , but what 16 year old went cycling on a Friday evening?
She rolled her chair back from her desk to see more clearly out of her window, wondering if the air outside was cool- tinged with the chill of night time but only just enough to feel invigorating.
She decided to make a compromise- she'd ride her bike but she wouldn't wear a helmet. That ought to counteract the lameness, she reasoned. A couple of years ago it would have been considered a bad-ass enough offence to be stopped by the traffic monitor outside school.
The colored beads on the spokes of her wheels were stiff and drained of color, her seat handlebars were cross sectioned with cobwebs, and her knees occasionally hit the underside of her wrists as she peddled- but other than that it was super fun to go whizzing down the side walk. As she rode past the letterboxes and the front gardens of her street Brittany took a deep breath and inhaled bits of the lives that were going on around her- the distant clink of dishes, a snatch of laughter, a dog barking, the metallic, watery smell of a garden sprinkler.
When she turned out of her street she didn't even really choose a direction- she just let habit guide her right and across the road. There were hardly any people walking so she had the pavement to herself and she hummed along, thinking about odd little intricacies of the world like people usually did when they moved aimlessly through it.
When Brittany had been riding for awhile she pulled up at an pedestrian crossing- though not close enough to the road that it looked like she was waiting to cross.
She stood up off the bike on one leg to give her butt a rest and plucked a few more strands of cobweb from her handlebars. She was thinking about how excited she'd been to get this bike and how she used to shove her favourite soft-toy- a lion with a heart on the end of it's tail- through these very handle bars and take him for a ride. Then she thought about the spiders she was taking for a ride now and then she felt a little bad for destroying their home.
She wiped the cobweb tangles on her shorts and sat back on the seat, peddling her way across the crossing and curving smoothly down another street. She was heading the back way home- the way that she and her Dad took when they were in his truck which didn't have a registration. The route missed the main roads where all the cops were and went through the residential area instead. It passed a couple of the football guys houses that Brittany had made out with. It passed Santana's house too.
There were lights on inside the house but only Santana's car was in the driveway. She'd just gotten it for her birthday and Brittany had been the first one she'd taken illegally for a ride because she was only on her learners permit.
Brittany back braked and hopped off her seat at the threshold of Santana's driveway. Santana was the only one who wouldn't really care that she'd been riding her bike so Brittany figured she'd say hi. She brought one leg back over the bike so that she was standing on one side of it and walked it up the drive, placing it on the grass beside Santana's door.
Seeing as Santana was home alone, Brittany thought it might be a little scary for a person to just appear in her bedroom so she decided to knock- though she usually never did.
She struck her knuckles against the door a couple of times and then stood there trying hard not to fidget so she'd be able to hear Santana coming.
After a moment Brittany heard the dull thud of a door from somewhere inside and then footsteps.
"Who is it?" Santana's voice came through the door.
Brittany stepped up and leant her face close. "It's Brittany," she called.
The door jerked open and then Brittany saw Santana standing before her wearing a very, very short red dress. Her hair was damp and tangled and her face had half of her usual makeup- the foundation and the eyeliner- but no eye shadow or lipstick yet.
"There you are!" Santana exclaimed, like she'd been looking for Brittany all along.
"Yep," Brittany was a little confused so she decided just to carry on with her explanation for why she'd randomly showed up- even though it looked like Santana had been expecting her.
"I felt like going for a ride so I did and I'm saying hi to you because I'm biking past your house."
"Biking?"
"Uh-huh." Brittany stepped back and gestured to her bike lying on the lawn.
"You biked all the way from your place?"
Brittany nodded. "Yep. Without a helmet too."
Santana didn't look as impressed as Brittany thought she would be. But she was smiling in a soft sort of way so Brittany decided Santana didn't think she was too lame. Especially when she stepped half out of the door and grabbed Brittany's forearm- tugging so that Brittany had to take steps forward inside her house.
"Well that explains it because I've been texting you about drinks for the last half an hour."
"Drinks?" Brittany watched as Santana shut the front door behind them and resumed her hold on Brittany's forearm.
"Uh-huh. Nick's place."
They made their way up the stairs and into Santana's room which smelt like someone after a shower and had music with a thumping bass filling it. It wasn't that loud, but Brittany knew Santana would turn it up when they took their traditional pre-drinks shots.
Clothes were covering Santana's bed and her make up was all over her desk. Brittany liked Santana's bed and she wanted to lay on it because she was achy from that bike seat but she didn't want to get cobwebs on Santana's clothes.
"I don't have anything to wear to drinks." Brittany pointed out as Santana swept back to her make-up.
"Just pick one of my dresses," she said, looking at herself in the mirror and closing one eye so she could put shimmery eye shadow on.
Brittany peered back down at the bed, thinking that this probably wouldn't go well. Firstly, because she was way taller than Santana. Secondly, because she was scared to pick something that Santana liked too much to let people wear. Or else she'd pick something fine but then get it ruined later on in the night.
Santana came to her rescue, even though she was still busy putting on the eye shadow.
"There's a blue one somewhere there which would match...it'd suit you."
Brittany picked through the pile until she found a blue dress. It had white polka dots on it.
"This one?" She turned to Santana who flicked her eyes open and looked back at Brittany through the mirror.
"Yeah. That. Put that on."
Once Brittany had the dress on she realised that her first concern about wearing Santana's clothes was the biggest problem.
"It's too...it's a bit…" She tugged uncomfortably at the bottom of the dress- edging it down so that she couldn't feel air going...up there. Santana swung around on her chair and stood up. Her eyes were both dark and smoky and so interesting Brittany thought she could look at them without getting bored for ages. They were sweeping up and down Brittany's body though, which made her a little nervous.
"It's a bit short," Brittany clarified, unable to understand whether Santana's look was approving or not.
"It's fine." Santana shrugged and bent to her bed, piling clothes into her arms. She turned away from Brittany and headed to her open wardrobe, leaning inside it to put the clothes back. Brittany couldn't see Santana's face anymore but she heard Santana's voice.
"You look good."
Present day, Santana:
The parking lot of McKinley could be like a mine field- depending on who you were.
For the losers it meant a meet and greet with the jocks and then some quality time spent with inside of the garbage bins.
For the fat kids it meant that extra 40 meters until the vending machines.
For others it meant hurrying as fast as you could away from your Dad's car with it's windows down and it's speakers blaring Social Suicide. fm .
For a member of glee club it mean having your name hurled across the lot in a voice that can only be described as Bambi getting his balls squeezed.
"Santanaaa!"
Santana stopped walking and her shoulders shuddered upwards.
"Santanaaa!"
Jesus.
She whirled around and jammed a finger against her lips as Kurt clopped up to her in leather ankle boots,.
"Your voice makes me want to change my name."
Kurt pouted as he halted in front of her.
"Now, now," he held his hands up. "Keep your claws retracted! It's been ages since I've seen you and I just wanted to say hi."
Santana frowned at him until he rolled his eyes and coaxed her like a pre-schooler.
"How was your break?"
"Great, yours?"
"Well," Kurt took a deep breath and flipped his eyes upwards- warming up his gush to serve it to Santana in one breathy, gesture infested monologue.
"Blaine and I joined a carolling group and we went around like half of Lima over Christmas. And I...redecorated my wardrobe- sorted everything by season instead of color. And I had a Grey's Anatomy marathon with Mercedes and Blaine and Rachel for some of the time but then we kicked her out when she said that she didn't get why everyone thought McDreamy was so good looking and…"
Santana rolled her eyes and Kurt seemed to misread the gesture.
"I know right?" He exclaimed. "I mean, Rachel. Come. On. The hair. It's the McDreamy hair!"
"Rrright," Santana said, nodding with her eyes wide. "Well I've gotta...I'm going to…" She gestured over her shoulder towards the school. "My locker...you know."
Not waiting for Kurt to answer, Santana spun back around and began to make her escape up the stairs to the entrance. But in a loud scuffle of foot steps, Kurt was beside her, gripping her shoulder to stop her.
"Hey now, not so fast. I wanted to ask you something."
Santana raised an eyebrow and rounded on him. "You know, I'm probably not the best person for that kind of….stuff. Google minus the safe search is your friend, Kurt. Use it well."
Kurt blinked at her and then flushed bright pink. God, Santana thought, tilting her head to look at him, he could have gone so far as the fifth, pink Teletubbie.
Kurt was flapping her suggestion away with his hands like it was hovering in the air between them.
"No. No. That wasn't what I meant. I was actually wondering if you would be open to the idea of a date night some time this week."
"Date night?" Santana repeated dumbly. "Like...a date?" She jerked her head back in confusion.
"Yes!" Kurt exclaimed, nodding eagerly. "A double-date date night! Me, Blaine and you and Brittany! I texted Britt asking last night but she never text back."
"Oh yeah, she dropped her phone in one of the spas at Santa Fe," Santana explained dismissively, her mind still whirring around the date-night suggestion.
"The spas?" Kurt's eyes lit up. "Oh, in that case she is completely forgiven. Anyway. What do you say?"
Santana took a breath and continued up the stairs, nodding at Kurt to follow.
"Look Carlton, Imma try ease you down gently alright? It's not you, it's me. It's not you, it's your boyfriends bowties. It's not you, it's the fact that you both rapped Pink into my face and I'm still having a broken nights sleep because of it."
"Santana…" Kurt began but someone cut him off.
"San! Kurt! Hey!" Brittany was vaulting up the stairs two at a time to get to them. In her hurry her bag had dipped into the crook of her elbow and was swinging violently back and forth and the peice of tost she was clutching was scattering crumbs all around her.
She stopped breathless in front of them, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright. There were odd crumbs around her face and a few on the end of her nose and Santana grinned, gesturing at her own face so that Britt would know to wipe hers. Britt must have missed the signal because she just shot Santana a grin and took a bite out of her toast.
"What's up?" She asked, chewing.
Kurt's look of demureness was faltering in mild aversion as he watched her chewing happily- not waiting until she'd swallowed to take another bite.
"Well- well Britt, I was just asking Santana here if maybe you two would like to double-date with me and Blaine?"
Santana raised her eyebrows.
"It doesn't even bear thinking about anymore because one party- a.k.a me- has already said no," she reminded him.
Brittany stopped chewing and looked from Santana to Kurt.
"It does sound fun," she murmured.
"See?" Kurt spun to Santana, gesturing wildly at Brittany. "That is what I was looking for! An actual human response."
"Santana's a human." Brittany deadpanned, frowning at him.
"Really?" Kurt put on his Rizzo voice and raise his eyebrows. "Coz she's had me fooled for quite some time."
The bell mounted on the building above them shrilled piercingly above their heads and they all jumped. Santana took it as a signal and grabbed Brittany's arm, tugging her forwards into the school.
"Think about it and get back to me!" Kurt stood on tiptoes to call to them.
"You've already got my answer Hummel!" Santana called back in a sing-song voice.
2008, Brittany:
The whole room was pulsing. Or at least, that's what it felt like to Brittany. Brittany had her eyes closed because she was drunk and because she was dancing. She wanted to feel like she was making the world sway, not the other way around- and the only way to do that was to keep her eyes closed.
She pulled her arms up through her hair and swung her hips- back and forth and back and forth and she almost wished she could just have the bass take her and rock her in it's arms.
She realised then that someone was closer to her than everyone else. They were curving their body against hers and she could sort of feel moistness on her neck- like someone was breathing there. And then two hands were on either side of her hips and her whole back was covered by someone.
Santana's voice sounded over the music.
"Turn around Britt."
Brittany didn't open her eyes but she did what Santana told her and then kept dancing- enjoying the way she met Santana's body with her own.
"Kiss her," someone else with a different voice was calling. "Kiss her."
Brittany opened her eyes and saw that Santana's dancing wasn't really dancing but just her being guided between the movements of Brittany in front of her and Puck behind her. His hands were around Santana's hips like Santana's were around Brittany's. And he had his chin tucked into Santana's neck. He kept repeating himself.
"Kiss her. Go on. Kiss her."
Santana's eyes focused blearily on Brittany's, her hands scooping Brittany's hips harder against her own. They came so close together that if Brittany could see straight she would have been able to count Santana's eye lashes. And Puck's as well.
"Kiss her. Do it. I know you want to." His face was buried in Santana's neck- and Brittany noticed that bits of her hair kept on getting stuck to his lips.
Cautiously because she still didn't really know what was supposed to be happening, Brittany closed her eyes and lifted her arms and tucked her hands around Santana's ribs- above Puck's hands. Then she coasted their bodies together harder, slipping one of her legs in between Santana's thighs.
She didn't know what she was doing, but wasn't that the point?
Brittany couldn't be bothered thinking or wondering what came next she just...She could hardly remember the way Santana had tasted- those couple of times they'd made out in front of guys. And she wanted to be reminded.
Brittany could feel the scatter of Santana's breath- hot and alcoholic- which meant that their faces must be hovering close together. She peeked her eyes open and saw she was right. Santana's eyes were closed- and her lips were peeled apart.
"Kiss her!" Puck was saying over and over and over again. "Kiss her. Just kiss her…Kiss her. Just..."
"Kiss me."
At the sound of Brittany's voice, Santana's eyes flicked up. Brittany dug her fingers into Santana's back and angled her face down towards Santana's lips- puckering hers expectantly.
From around them and from Puck especially- there were whoops and cheers and wolf whistles.
Santana slid one hand slowly up Brittany's back- curving it up around the back of Brittany's head- through her hair.
Brittany watched Santana's lips come closer- slightly parted- and she watched Santana's eyes flutter closed.
When their lips touched Brittany closed hers too.
They weren't soft kisses. And they weren't rough. They were deep and warm and stitched up with something else entirely.
Santana's tongue was coaxing and demanding and every snatch of it stole a little of Brittany's breath- a little of her reason. There was more cheering, and Brittany could feel more hands on her than just Santana's. Puck's- she guessed- moving down across her butt.
But she couldn't really take in what was happening because Santana's hands were around her face now- pulling her mouth hungrily forwards and there was this insistent, heavy beating in between Brittany's legs and she could feel her underwear sticking to her. It was like an ache- like something had gone missing from inside her and maybe she could find it somewhere in this kiss.
But every time Brittany deepened the kiss to look for what was missing, the aching grew worse.
She needed to sit down but she didn't want this to be over.
And then, all of a sudden, it was. And Brittany was blinking and being tugged somewhere and she didn't really know what was happening, only that Santana had a hold of one of her hands and Puck, further ahead, had a hold of Santana's. They were moving through the throng of people until the air opened up- free from breath and body heat and music. They were in a hallway- and Brittany kept glancing off the walls because Santana and Puck were moving faster than she could make her legs work.
When she saw the bed in the room, Brittany headed for it immediately and dropped onto it, hoping that everything would slow down.
She knew her dress- no, Santana's dress- was probably hitched all the way up her legs but she didn't feel like lugging her heavy limbs to tug it down and anyway, Puck and Santana weren't paying attention to her. They were standing beside the bed, whispering and kissing.
Brittany stretched her arms above her head and wondered if she should leave- If maybe they hadn't meant to take her with them. But then Santana sunk down on the bed- on the same angle that Brittany was lying and put an arm over Brittany's ribcage- which was nice because it was solid and warm and held Brittany down on the bed so that she wouldn't spin away.
"She all good?" Puck asked from above them.
"Hmm? Britt? You okay?" Santana asked.
Brittany nodded, snuggling her face closer to Santana's and thinking that they should just stay all entwined like this and go to sleep.
But Puck was still talking.
"Ask her," he urged. "Go on. Does she want to?"
"Britt?" Santana's voice was soft and less annoying than Puck's. Brittany fluttered her eyes open in response.
"You wanna keep kissing?"
Brittany blinked at her and didn't say anything because she'd never been asked that before by Santana. Puck moved closer and sank down on the bed on Brittany's other side. The mattress jostled violently with his weight and Brittany felt her tummy tug slightly in nausea. He was heavier than Santana, so his weight made the mattress sink and Brittany curved with it into him. She kept her eyes on Santana and saw that she was still waiting for answer.
Partly because Santana's face looked so pinched by some emotion that Brittany didn't recognise, and partly because she was being brave, Brittany leaned over and put her lips back against Santana's.
All the rushing in Brittany's head started again as Santana's mouth opened under her kiss and she gave Brittany her tongue. Puck was pressing hard up against Brittany from behind- like he'd done to Santana while they were dancing. His hand was on her tummy and sliding up to her ribs and then he was squeezing her boob and whispering all raspy into her ear.
"Yeah...you like that? You like kissing her?"
She wished he wouldn't ask so many questions because she couldn't answer and kiss at the same time. It was what dentists did when they were looking at your teeth.
But then Santana pulled back and ran her eyes over what Puck was doing. After a beat, Santana drew her eyes back to Brittany.
"You okay Britt?"
"Yeah, she's okay. She's fucking hot…" Puck breathed into Brittany's ear.
Brittany didn't feel so good. The Puck touching her part might have been exciting but she'd begun to feel really queasy- it was like her tummy was tugging in two different directions. Her body was heavy but she managed to get upright and skitter herself off the bed so her bum was on the floor. Then sick rolled up her throat and out her mouth onto the carpet and she was coughing and spluttering and retching noisily.
"Oh, ohhh shittt…" Puck said somewhere above her.
"Britt," Santana was beside her, a hand on her back, and another scooping up the hair from her face. "It's okay, let it out."
Dimly, Brittany thought that Santana couldn't be serious- seeing as this was the floor of someone's bedroom. Besides, she didn't feel like she was going to be sick again. She leant back against the bed and took acidy breaths- trying to stop herself from being all shaky. She didn't want to open her eyes but she did so that she could see where Santana was. She was right beside her. Brittany noticed that someone had kissed all Santana's red lipstick off so that they were more light pink. A beat later she realised that she'd been the one who'd done it.
"I'm sorry," she mouthed- her mouth was really dry. She was sorry about the lipstick but mostly sorry because they'd had to stop kissing.
"It's okay Britt. Do you want to go home?"
"Aw no, come on. You're okay aren't you Brittany?" Puck nudged her thigh with the toe of his shoe. Brittany looked up and was about to shrug because she didn't want to disappoint him but then Santana's voice whipped over her head.
"Seriously Puckerman? She's just been sick and all you can think about is your dick?"
"No. Hey, no I just...well, do you want some water or something?" He nudged her again with his foot.
Brittany did want water but she shook her head. Santana was rubbing her back again.
"Wanna go home?" She asked quietly. Brittany looked at her lap and nodded.
"Oh, come on!" Puck's voice rose in frustration. "Just have a lie down and you'll be sweet after a while."
"Shut it and leave," Santana snapped at Puck, standing up and curling her hands around Brittany's arm pits.
As Brittany managed to stand, she heard the door to the bedroom slam shut.
"I'm sorry," Britt said again as they stood together with their hands locked on one another's forearms for balance.
Santana shook her head, her face all flushed and hard from yelling at Puck.
"We can stay…" Brittany tried again.
"No. We're going home, come on." Santana gently curved an arm around Brittany's waist and they walked like they were in a three legged race to the bedroom door.
Present day, Santana:
When she woke up that morning, Santana had had no inkling that the day would take such an apocalyptic turn. But, here she was- standing in a bathroom with Tina, and a crying Mercedes - Agreeing with the advice Rachel Berry had just given.
"Hey, I think you just need to take it slow okay?" Rachel had stepped up closer to Mercedes. "Listen to your heart. Maybe the spark with Sam is still there still there."
Santana hated seeing Mercedes upset- it was almost the same feeling as seeing your Mom cry because Santana had come to depend on Mercedes smile and her laughter and her attitude.
She stepped forward too, the cursed agreement with Rachel still making her head nod.
"You have to do what's best for you- there's no point thinking about someone else when you have to make this sort of choice," Tina said softly.
"This isn't supposed to happen to girls like me," Mercedes murmured.
Santana, Tina and Rachel exchanged glances.
"Girls like..." Santana ventured.
"I've never had boy like me before," Mercedes voice wavered, "and now... And now I have two boys and I have no idea. It's just so... Confusing."
"I know, but time will work it out," Rachel squeezed Mercedes arm. "And in the meantime maybe, I don't know, we could distract you?" Rachel looked hesitantly at Tina and Santana.
Tina nodded, " Yeah! Us girls will take you out and have a good time!"
"Really?" Mercedes had perked up slightly.
"Uhuh," Rachel nodded vigorously. "Oh, I can already think of some ideas for what we can do. Maybe, maybe a karaoke evening... Or play charades and braid one anothers hair or..."
"Or we could do normal people things like shopping and a movie?" Santana suggested, rolling her eyes at Tina and Mercedes.
"Well..." Rachel hesitated.
"That sounds great Santana," Tina cut in front of Rachel.
They looked at Mercedes.
"Keen, M?" Santana asked her gently.
Mercedes sniffed and nodded, hugging her arms around herself. "Invite Q and Britt too," she said.
"Sugar?" Tina asked, smiling faintly. Mercedes laughed and rolled her eyes.
"She'll certainly be a distraction."
"That girl," Rachel shook her head in disapproval. "Is odd."
"Oh yep, because you're just the picture of sanity," Santana agreed sarcastically.
"Tonight is going to be fun, I can already tell!" Tina said, laughing at the look on Rachel's face.
Rachel was the first waiting outside the mall- inspecting the notice board just inside the sliding doors.
Santana spotted her when they were still twenty or meters away and if it wasn't for Brittany clutching her arm, her face flushed from excitement, Santana would have turned on her heel and walked away.
"Guys! Hey!"
Santana and Britt turned in unison to see Quinn and Mercedes coming across the car park towards them.
"Oh thank god," Santana muttered as she was jerked sideways by Brittany's enthusiasm.
"Hello!" Brittany called, skipping up to them and disengaging from Santana so she could throw her arms around Mercedes. "Thanks for including me on your lady date. I promise you won't have a moment to waste thinking about boys when I'm dealing with you," She said brightly.
Mercedes raised an eyebrow while Quinn and Santana fought off laughter.
"Is everyone else here?" Quinn asked, craning her neck.
Santana grimaced. "Berry's waiting in the foyer and I haven't seen...oh, hey Tina."
Tina was strolling up to them- half her face covered by her scarf and her hands shoved deep inside her coat pockets.
"She looks like a ninja," Brittany whispered to Santana as she approached. Tina pulled the scarf down from her face to greet them.
"Sugar couldn't make it. Something about picking a new car... I didn't ask." Tina said as they all turned and walked towards the double doors.
Rachel spun as Mercedes called her name and beamed at them with her glassy eyes.
"Ah finally! I've only been waiting twenty minutes. Now, look at this," she pointed to the notice board. "Someone is advertising for a dog walker."
"Wow. Screw NYADA." Santana said in mock reverence.
"No," Rachel frowned. "No, I meant for Mercedes to keep herself busy and clear her head from the Sam thing."
"By walking dogs?" Quinn asked sceptically.
"I usually walk Lord Tubbington when I need to think. So maybe Mercedes might end up thinking too much if she starts walking dogs," Brittany pointed out.
"That cat has never been walked in it's life," Tina said. "But I do think you're on to something there Britt," she nodded and gestured further into the mall. "Lets get our shop on!"
Brittany gasped excitedly and tugged her hat off, shook her hair loose and unbuttoned her coat as she skipped ahead with Tina.
Quinn, Rachel, Santana and Mercedes walked at a normal pace through the first row of shops. Trying to keep casual, hoping that Rachel, Mercedes and Quinn were too caught up in their discussion of Mr Schue's proposal to Miss Pillsbury, Santana veered away from them. She wandered up to a rack of underwear on sale outside of a lingerie shop- fingering through the hangers and feigning interest. Then, with a quick glance to check that the others weren't watching, she darted inside the shop and headed straight to the very back wall.
When she got there she stopped and raised her eyes up the stacks of corsets and g-strings and every pattern of lace that you could think of. She already had an idea of what she wanted- but the trouble was finding it as quickly as she could.
Red. Red.
It should freaking stand out seeing as it was supposed to be the first color the human eyes registered. She flipped the hangers on the nearest stack- back and back until she found a sheer red lacy bra and g-string set. She smirked to herself and unhooked it from the bar.
"Can I help you there?"
Santana jumped a foot and spun around. A girl with purplish-red hair and a wide smile was looking at her. Her name badge said Yvette.
"Oh, no, no I was just- well I think I'm going to get this." She held up the hanger. Yvette glanced at it and nodded.
"You don't want to try it…?"
"Nope." Santana shot a nervous glance towards the entrance. She'd seen the size, it would fit fine. Besides, she'd brought plenty of these things in her time- just never with the double threats of Rachel's loudness and the presence of the person she was planning to wear it for hovering over her.
"Alrighty…Come up with me to the counter."
In Santana's haste, it seemed the this Yvette person was moving excruciatingly slowly. Santana almost wanted to shove her just to get her speed up as she paused to adjust a pair of boxers hanging askew.
When they finally got to the counter, Yvette took every precaution in making sure that the lingerie was carefully removed from the hooks of the hanger and folded properly. And while she fiddled with them, she talked.
"So do you want this gift wrapped?"
Santana shook her head.
"Oh so," she looked up and grinned and Santana, "it's for you? Are you the one being gift wrapped?"
Santana blinked at her. "Uh…"
The girl laughed. "Well, whoever the guy is he's lucky coz these are top of the line."
Santana had her card in her hand, hovering it over the eftpos machine even though the girl hadn't scanned the tags yet.
"Uh, right. Good to know," she mumbled.
"Oh there you are!"
Santana would have imploded if it was possible. Rachel had appeared on one side of her and peered down at the lingerie that the girl was folding.
"What are you get-"
From behind them, another familiar voice sounded.
"Rach? Where are you? Did you find her?"
Santana froze.
"Over here Brittany!" Rachel called.
"No." Santana muttered through gritted teeth, whipping around to grip Rachel's arm. "No. No. No. Shit. Please, can you please just once do me a favour and distract her?"
If the situation hadn't have been so awkward, Santana would have found the sequence of emotions on Rachel's face completely and utterly hilarious. She blinked at Santana in alarm and confusion, then shot the lingerie a look of horror and then turned bright, bright red as it all processed through her head.
"Oh, oh you're buying that and she's...she cant...oh...wow...um... okay yes. Yes. I-" She pushed away from the counter and bustled away, calling to Brittany that she'd seen Santana over by the night gowns.
Santana kept staring down at the eftpos machine like she wanted to know it's whole life story. The girl folded the lingerie and pushed them in a bag and then clacked some buttons on the till.
"Trying to be sneaky huh?" She asked as the eftpos machine finally lit up with the price.
Santana didn't answer her, just punched in her code and whisked the bag off the counter and into her coat pocket. She did the same with her card and then turned to go with a muttered thanks.
"I'm sure she'll like them!" Yvette called as Santana entered the maze of racks again. She faltered in surprise and glanced back around.
Yvette was giving her a double thumbs up.
Outside the shop, Santana almost collided with Brittany, Rachel and Tina rushing past.
"San!" Brittany threw her arms around her. "Rachel was making me chase geese in the nightie section of that shop. She told me you were there and I told her she was on crack."
Santana laughed weakly, avoiding Rachel's eyes like the plague and snaking an arm around Brittany's waist.
"Shall we get shakes?" She asked as a distraction. Brittany's eyes lit up and she nodded, tugging Santana forwards. As they walked, Santana caught Tina looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Whatever you did, thanks." She murmured.
Santana frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Whatever you did to Berry in that shop," Tina jerked her head to Rachel who was walking ahead of them with her head bowed, "it finally got her to shut up about the dog walking idea."
They spent so long in the mall that they missed the movie time for the rom-com that Mercedes had wanted to see so they ended up strolling through the evening streets- heading towards the Lima Bean.
They walked in twos- with Quinn and Mercedes linked arm in arm in the lead, then Tina and Rachel- both texting- and then Brittany and Santana. Brittany had her hat back on and her coat buttoned to her chin and Santana was resisting the urge to kiss the tip of her nose.
No longer able to contain herself, she jerked the arm that she had wrapped around Brittany's waist and pulled her closer.
"You cold?"
Brittany nodded, pouting at Santana.
"Well," Santana fought the smirk off her face. "I have something in my pocket that will help thaw you out when we get home."
Brittany's face instantly dropped into curiosity. She smiled shyly and reached to pat the lump in Santana's coat pocket. "What is it? A lighter?"
Santana shook her head.
"Matches?"
"Nope."
"A heater?" Brittany tried again. Santana laughed and shook her head.
"Not even close." When she saw Brittany's disappointment she gave in a little. "Okay, okay. I'll give you a hint. It's red."
A smile curved slowly onto Brittany's face and she gave Santana a suggestive look. "Is it from that underwear shop?"
"Oh!" A squeal from up ahead made them both jump and look around. Santana realised that they were out the front of Breadstix- and that Mercedes had her face smooshed up against the glass. Beside her, Quinn, Rachel and Tina were moving to do the same.
"What? What is it?" Santana and Brittany stepped up to the glass too.
"Oh." Brittany said faintly beside her. Santana peered into the window- scanning her eyes around the restaurant in confusion.
"What? I don't… What are we looking at?"
"Third table on the right," Quinn said.
Santana flicked her eyes to the right and…
"Holy shit is that Artie?" Of course it was. It was a guy in a wheel chair wearing a knitted jumper. But Santana had only asked because of who she'd seen sitting opposite him, facing towards the window.
"This has to be a joke." Tina said, pulling back and shaking her head. "It's- he's been dared to or something!"
"This is so, so strange," Quinn agreed.
Santana screwed her face up, watching closely as Artie leant back in his chair laughing while Becky sipped coyly on her soda straw.
"It's kind of like watching the nature channel," she said.
"It totally is!" Mercedes laughed. "Oh my gosh this honestly just made my night. It's so whack."
"I think it is intervention time," Rachel said grimly, pulling away from the window to give Artie and Becky a pitying look.
"Agreed." Quinn nodded.
Mercedes was still cackling and shaking her head. "It's just so funny. Can you imagine them at prom?"
Santana pulled away from the window too and glanced at Brittany. She had already straightened up and was watching Mercedes laugh.
"I don't have a good feeling about this," Santana admitted. "The little Wonka worker will have something up her sleeve. This will be Sue's doing somehow."
"Is this odd for you Brittany?" Rachel asked.
Santana rolled her eyes- an evening out just wouldn't be complete without the Rachel Berry Awkward Question Supreme. Despite that, Santana found herself sliding her eyes to Brittany's face, waiting and watching for her to answer.
Brittany didn't seem phased by the question. "I'm just wondering how they're going to travel." She admitted, bending back to look in at Artie and Becky. "I mean...I don't think she knows how to push a wheelchair so she'll have to like ride up in his lap but then they'll just look like they're off Aladdin."
"Aladdin? How Britt?" Tina asked.
"Well," Brittany bent closer still and pointed to demonstrate. Santana and the others moved back to the window.
"Aladdin," Brittany said, pointing at Artie. "And Apu," she finished, pointing to Becky.
This was too much for Mercedes who pulled away from the window, snorting and shaking.
"I think…" Quinn backed away from Breadstix, tugging at a doubled over Mercedes, "that we better get going before he sees us."
"I think so too," Brittany agreed. They began to walk away from Breadstix and after a beat, Rachel followed after them.
"Right, but we will organise this intervention thing for tomorrow at glee club right?"
"I'm already sending a group text to all the boys," Tina said looking down at her phone.
Halfway down the street Mercedes was still laughing. Looking around at the rest of them she grinned and shook her head.
"Thanks you guys. For this. It's really helped take my mind off everything."
"Thank Artie," Tina corrected her. Santana rolled her eyes and shot a sideways grin at Brittany as Mercedes giggles began mounting again.
2008, Brittany:
They really shouldn't have driven home, Brittany knew that but she was too tired and Santana's car was cool and quiet and calm compared to the party. She snuggled against the car seat, closed her eyes and just waited.
Santana drove and didn't say anything until they pulled up into Santana's drive way and then she rubbed Brittany's knee.
"Can you get up?"
"Yep." Brittany lifted her head and opened her car door. Santana came around the car with her hands ready to brace Brittany but she didn't need help any more. Being sick had made her feel better, though her head was light and she knew that she was still drunk. Or at least fuzzy.
They walked past the dark shape of Brittany's bike on the lawn. Brittany's ride seemed like a million years ago- and she couldn't remember even why she'd wanted to ride it other than to get to Santana's house.
Santana's bed was better than the one at the party because it was huge and soft and it smelt like her. Brittany took off the dress and fell on top of the blankets, pushing her face up into the pillows.
She should brush her teeth and wash her make up off but she didn't think those were as important as enjoying the feeling of lying there. The mattress jostled as Santana laid down beside her. The warmth of her skin, so close to Brittany's, was some kind of soothing. Like soup when you're sick.
Brittany lifted her head to smile at Santana but she only saw the back of Santana's head. She was lying so close but they weren't touching.
Brittany wanted a hug and she wanted some water.
"Hey," she said softly, wondering if Santana was mad at her.
She watched Santana's shoulders shift as she swivelled her head around.
"Mmm?"
"You sleeping?" Brittany asked the question even though she already knew the answer but she didn't have anything else to say. It made Santana smile and then she shook her head.
"Are you?" Brittany grinned shyly back and shook her head. "Do you and Puck date?"
Santana frowned and then Brittany realised how random it had been to ask. She'd just thought of it and used it as her next thing to say so that they didn't stop talking.
"No we aren't dating. We just hook up at parties sometimes."
"But you used to go on dates right?"
Santana looked at her for awhile and then nodded. "Sometimes yeah, I guess."
Brittany took this in and thought about how she and Santana had kissed earlier. She wanted to kiss Santana now, but they'd never kissed when they were alone and Brittany was scared that if they did, there would be no noise to drown out how loudly her heart beat in those situations. It was so loud it was embarrassing. And sometimes it hurt as well.
"Do you think you and I should go on a date?" Brittany asked in a voice that didn't really sound like her own.
It was like she was asking the opinion of a shop assistant about a new pair of jeans. Does this look okay?
But she would never ask a shop assistant the kind of question that made her want to run away before she heard the answer. She wondered if she could make it off the bed, down the stairs and onto her bike before Santana answered, but by the time she had thought about that the expression on Santana's face had already changed. And Brittany couldn't unsee that. No matter how hard she peddled.
Santana's face was all furrows and her eyes were hard and dark like when she was about to yell.
Brittany took her eyes away from Santana's and looked at the patterns on the blankets.
"Why would we do that?"
Brittany didn't know why and she'd hoped Santana would. But there was the obvious reason and so she said it, still looking at the blanket patterns.
"Because we kiss like you and Puck kiss and you've been on dates with him and you're a lot nicer to me than him so I thought that meant we could go on a date."
"You're kidding right? Don't act like…" Santana's voice was tinged with laughter. "How smashed are you?"
"I'm not that drunk," Brittany said, feeling her face get hot. "I just asked a question."
"A dumb question." Santana snapped- no longer laughing even a little bit.
"No question is dumb if you don't know the answer," Brittany said softly, echoing her 7th grade maths teacher, Mr Schwamm.
"But you do know the answer. So it is dumb."
"What's the answer then…"
"No Brittany." Santana said loudly- which was scary because their faces were so close together. "The answer is no and you should have known that. Don't ask those dumb questions. Jesus."
Santana rolled over then and Brittany turned her eyes back to the patterns on the bedspread- staring so hard at them she thought they might all come undone.
Present day, Santana:
Because of Rachel's insistence that her vocal chords needed at least eight and a half hours of rest a night, the six of them didn't stay too long at the Lima Bean. But it was still dark by the time Santana and Brittany got back to Santana's. All the lights were all off and both her parents seemed to be already asleep.
Like they had done so many times before, Santana and Brittany crept up the stairs and slipped into her bedroom. Santana flicked the lock closed behind them and felt her way over to the bedside lamp.
When she clicked it on, the room appeared in a soft, golden glow. So did Brittany, who was standing near the end of Santana's bed, smiling at her.
"Can I see the thing in your pocket now?" She asked. Santana shook her head and jerked her thumb over her shoulder.
"Go get ready for bed."
"Then can I?"
Santana rolled her eyes. "If you hurry."
When Brittany had slipped out of her room, Santana tugged the brown paper bag from her pocket and glanced down at herself. She wanted to freshen up first. Damn. She should have been the one to go use the bathroom.
Deciding to use the main downstairs one, Santana slipped out of her room and headed there.
It fit, just like she knew it would.
The g-string slung low on her hips and the push-up bra squeezed her boobs up hard against one another in the way that she knew made her look effing hot. She smirked down at herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth and then shrugged her coat back on for the walk back up to her room.
She snuck inside and saw Brittany sitting on the edge of her bed, in a white tank, brushing her hair. At the sound of the door she twisted around.
"Where'd you go?"
"Downstairs bathroom," Santana whispered, closing the door and padding over to her washing basket to drop her clothes in it.
She was a little nervous now and it didn't help matters when Brittany lowered her hair brush and looked her up and down, frowning.
"Where's your pyjamas? Are you sleeping in your coat?"
Santana didn't know how to answer so she just shook her head. Brittany frowned even more and placed her hairbrush on the bedside table, wigging around so that she was on the bed facing Santana.
"Did you get your buttons stuck? Do you want me to…oh…"
Santana had begun unbuttoning her coat- starting from the top- revealing bare collarbones and then…Santana's heart skipped a beat as Brittany took in the new bra- her eyes widened and her lips pressed together. Santana's fingers fumbled their way through the rest of the buttons and then she shrugged the coat off.
"Not a nightie," She said softly, stepping around to the side of the bed closest to Brittany. Brittany, following Santana with her eyes, shook her head.
"Not a nightie," she repeated softly.
Her hands reached out to Santana hesitantly- as though they hadn't been doing it since they were 16, as though Santana might flinch away at sudden movement. But she stayed where she was and watched hungrily as Brittany's palms flattened against her hips. Brittany's eyes darted back and forth between the two new pieces of lingerie- like she didn't know which one deserved most of her attention.
Santana placed her hands on Brittany's legs and tugged her around so they were dangling off the edge. Then she knelt up on the bed, straddling Brittany, curving her arms around Brittany's shoulders and up through her brushed out hair. Brittany ran her hands up Santana's back, her eyes all over Santana's chest which was level with her face.
Santana felt a shiver of pleasure- and a tug between her legs- as she watched Brittany gape.
"Wow," Brittany murmured- her eyes still all over Santana. "You are…"
Santana tucked her hands under Brittany's chin and tilted her face up, kissing her deep and slow. Brittany's hands tensed on her back and Santana curved her body hotly into Brittany's.
After a few moments of kissing messily, Brittany caved backwards onto the bed and Santana followed her down- not breaking contact with her lips. Brittany moaned into it as Santana reached around, took one of Brittany's hands off her back, and pressed it between her legs.
The friction that the lace made between Santana's folds and Brittany's fingers chased Santana's breath away in a rush- and she had to break the kiss to try to catch it again.
Up till now, or only a little while ago, sex with Brittany had been all about need, not adventure. It would be Santana turning to her in the dark- caught up in her smell and the feel of her- desperate because Brittany was the only release that Santana knew. Touching her, being inside her- it offered the same disconnection from the world as plunging underwater.
And it had scared the hell out of her for so long.
But tonight she wasn't scared. She wasn't rushing or fumbling or drunkenly chasing the taste of Brittany in the dark.
She was on top of her girlfriend. In lingerie.
Brittany's fingers had pushed aside what little of the material was across Santana and were slipping up and down the length of her- exploring- rubbing in circles. Santana twitched as they grazed back and forth- tantalisingly gliding around her clit.
She dropped her head into hollow of Brittany's neck and let out a muffled moan. Another of Brittany's hands was at Santana's breast- kneading her nipple through the lace and Santana shuddered against her as pleasure shot through from both the places Brittany touched.
"You're so… you're so…" Brittany kept saying, but she never got around to telling Santana what she was because Santana reached up and jerked one of the lacy cups of her bra down so that her breast was bare. Then she lowered her nipple to Brittany's lips, arching her hips harder against Brittany's still rubbing fingertips.
After a few dizzy moments of Brittany's mouth on her nipple and her fingers on her clit, Brittany pulled her mouth off of Santana and guided their faces back level again. Santana opened her mouth hotly and sunk into another kiss. Then, just as their tongues met, Brittany pushed her fingers inside Santana.
At the feeling, Santana groaned loudly onto Brittany's tongue and gripped the sheets under her hands tighter. Everything felt like it was rushing past her- the pounding of her pulse in her ears, the jagged alternation of their breathing and the wet sound of Brittany moving her fingers back and forth inside Santana.
"Look at me," Santana heard from somewhere far off. She opened her eyes and looked blearily around at Brittany.
Their gazes connected and then Brittany was filling her more than before- with three fingers- and the sting and the pleasure rose and mingled together. Santana felt her mouth gape open, and her hips jarred hard downwards. Blind-sided by how good it felt, Santana lost the strength in her arms and collapsed- putting her whole weight against Brittany- the rocking motion of Brittany's arm made both their bodies move in time.
Brittany paused after a moment and pulled out. Then Santana felt the wet grip of Brittany's fingers on one of her thighs as she began to twist her body out from underneath Santana.
They rolled around until they were laying on their sides, Brittany spooning Santana from behind. She snaked one arm underneath Santana's shoulder, curving her hand down to gather a palm full of Santana's breast through the bra. The other- the one with the wet fingers- nugded the back of the knee of Santana's top leg- guiding it to bend. Then, Brittany reached her hand around and slipped inside Santana from behind.
Santana cried out- her teeth colliding and lashing down on the exposed skin of Brittany's forearm beside her face. It was a new angle- and Brittany's fingers were reaching a whole new place, igniting a pounding, swelling rush all around Santana's abdomen. As Brittany moved in and out of her, she pressed herself hard up against Santana's back, notching her chin over Santana's shoulder, breathing heavily into her ear.
"This...this okay?"
Santana bit down harder on Brittany's arm and felt her eyes roll back as that familiar sensation began to shoot through her nerves- locking her limbs into place- making all her muscles jump and try to scatter.
When the damn broke, Santana didn't know if she was making noise. Brittany's arms were clutching around her body- pulling her in tight and Santana could feel that but was aware of nothing else as all of her other senses faltered in the few long, rolling seconds of her orgasm.
When things tumbled back into place around her, Santana found herself gasping for breath- sweaty, shaky and exhausted. She dropped back against Brittany and bumbled around so that she was facing her- tucked into her arms.
Santana placed her lips against the material of Brittany's tank top and tried to slow her breathing down.
"Wow…" Brittany said faintly, moving a hand to swipe away the hair that had stuck around Santana's face. Santana laughed shakily and nodded, lifting her head up and kissing the underside of Brittany's jaw.
"Warm now?" She croaked- her voice still recovering. Brittany bent to look down at her and widened her eyes, nodding vigorously.
Brittany's arms were a warm cocoon and Santana felt like she'd just run half way across the country to get there. She nuzzled in closer- draping an arm around Brittany's waist so she could trace a finger lightly over the exposed skin of Brittany's lower back.
Brittany shuffled around to get more comfortable and yawned- the movement rocking Santana with her.
"You've made me so sleepy now," She said.
Santana, on the crest of her own yawn said, "me too."
"We've never done it like that before, have we?"
Santana shook her head, knowing what Brittany meant. Santana had never been so submissive- never been so mouldable in Brittany's hands.
"I really liked it," Brittany admitted. The wash of hot air on Santana's scalp meant that Brittany had her face pressed into her hair.
"I liked it too."
"It's funny how people concentrate so much on the first times in relationships being all about the very first kiss or the very first sex or the first date and stuff. But there are way more cool firsts I think. Underappreciated ones like the first time you pee in front of one another…"
Santana laughed. "We did that at cheer camp way before we were dating."
"Yeah. Or the first time you cook together. Or dress up for one another…" Brittany tugged playfully at the strap of Santana's bra. "This whole proposal assignment for Mr Schue is fun but I've decided that there are so many more things to look forward to in a relationship."
Santana pressed her lips back against Brittany's top and inhaled her smell.
"Like what?" she asked sleepily.
"I just told you. But also like… the first time you realise you know their takeout order by heart. Or the first time you waste a whole day together just because. Or, or the first time you miss them or...or… the first…"
Through the sleepy haze that was drooping low over Santana's brain, she remembered something.
"Or the first double date?" She asked.
Her head jilted back and forth from the movement of Brittany nodding.
"Uh-huh. There are so many more firsts than people realise."
"We better get that one out of the way then."
"What one?"
"The double-date one," Santana said, yawning again and rolling her eyes as her head jilted again. Brittany had pulled back to look at her.
"Wait, really?"
Santana shrugged. "Why not? You must have caught me in a good mood."
Brittany's face shifted into a proud smile.
"So, you're asking me out on a date?"
"Well, technically, Kurt asked us out. But I guess yeah, this is me saying I'll go."
Brittany's face was so close to her own that all Santana could see was a blur of features and the bright, bright blue of her eyes.
"So the answer is yes?" Brittany asked.
"Yes, the answer is yes," Santana nodded, planting a kiss on the end of Brittany's nose and then shrugging the sheets up around her shoulders. "Now lemme get some sleep before I change my mind."