Note:
Hello everyone, sorry it's been so long since I posted. First week of uni coming up and all that jazz.
Just a quick heads up- because of the 7 week Glee hiatus I only have one more episode to write around and then I run out! So the next chapter dealing with regionals will be the last chapter for Avalanche.
But! Never fear because I'll be back to do Avalanche Two for the rest of the season when the show comes back. So make sure you favourite author me or follow me on Tumblr ( lumosknoxobliviate . tumblr . com ) for notice of when that's up. In the mean time though, I've been stewing up ideas for an AU Brittana story. But it'll just depend on how busy I get with uni work.
Any wayyy. Here's chapter 21 dealing with 'Heart'- Which has become THE Brittana episode and I really hope I did it justice.
Let me know what you think with a review. :)
Oh and please excuse any mistakes!
Ch 21: Before You Leap
Brittany:
Brittany was curled up on her bed like one of those twisty cheese chips, with her knees bunched up to her chest and her arms folded under her head so that her elbows showed all pointy through her skin.
Instead of doing her math homework she was watching a movie.
To stop herself from feeling guilty she had left her homework zipped up in her school bag, shoved it under her bed and put headphones into her laptop so that the movie would drown out her conscience.
The film was good- one Artie had put on her laptop for her ages ago. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It had the guy from Juno in it which was the only thing Brittany didn't like because he acted exactly the same as Paulie Bleeker even though he was supposed to be Nick and it kept on confusing Brittany so that she thought it was Juno 2. And then she'd get all upset that Paulie was cheating on Juno with Norah.
It had been an hour and a half since Santana's last text, which had said: Homework time bbe, txt soon. Brittany kept on picking up her phone and rereading it.
On the screen, Nick and Norah were in Jimi Hendrix's recording studio which was called Electric Lady Studios. Brittany remembered Santana talking about it once. Brittany didn't think it was fair of the movie to keep on bringing Santana into her head. Especially when she was already trying extra hard to leave her phone on the bedside table and not interrupt Santana's homeworking. But Santana loved Jimi Hendrix so it wasn't really Brittany's fault that she thought of her when his studio came on the screen. Plus- Norah saved her gum on the corner of her plate till after she ate and Santana did that too sometimes.
Brittany shook her head to clear away the Santana thoughts and tried to focus harder on the movie.
Norah was leaning against a massive desk that had more buttons than all of the coats Brittany had owned in her lifetime. She and Nick were talking about the mix-tapes he had made and then he asked her what her favourite song had been. But instead of answering that, Norah cheated and recited her favourite verse from the mix CDs instead.
When Brittany heard the verse she blinked and unfurled her arms to reach the laptop- guiding the cursor to the 'pause' button. By the time she'd done that she couldn't remember word for word what Norah had said, only that it had made Brittany go all still when she'd heard it.
Brittany was making no attempt to stop thinking about Santana now. It felt to her like that verse should have been hers to say to Santana. It was like the moment Brittany heard them she realised they'd been on the tip of her tongue.
Brittany shuffled around her laptop and off her bed, padding over to her desk where she kept her school diary. She picked up a pen too and brought them both back with her to her bed.
Seeing as it was a Sunday- and none of the teachers were around to give her homework to write down, the lines below the current date were empty.
Brittany had to rewind the movie three times before she got all the words in the right order. Then she sat back and surveyed her handiwork. It was in her neatest writing- all loopy and grown up and she was happy with it.
"The way you're moving in your sleep," Brittany mouthed the first line.
Sleep changed Santana. It relaxed her face in a way that Brittany had never seen before. Sometimes her eyes flickered underneath her eyelids and her eyebrows twitched like she was a little surprised at what had just happened in her dream. Sometimes she sighed and tossed and turned. Sometimes, Brittany's favourite times, Santana reached out and tugged herself right up against Brittany, nuzzling unconsciously into her neck.
"The way you look before you leap."
Brittany paused at this next line, thinking she'd never seen Santana leap off anything. Wondering what that would be like made Brittany's stomach feel quivery so she didn't think about it for too long. Instead, she thought about what had first come into her head when Norah had gotten to the leaping part: The moments before they kissed. When Santana's face was so right up close that Brittany had to go cross-eyed to see her features distinctly. And even though going cross-eyed put a weird pressure on the inside of Brittany's forehead, it was worth it to see Santana clearly. She always looked so poised for something...Like that split second before their lips met was Santana's equivalent of hanging on the cusp of a roller-coaster track.
"The strange illusions that you keep."
Brittany knew that Santana didn't do magic tricks. At least, not the ones that could get her hired to perform at a kid's party. Instead, Santana had her false-bottomed words and trick-deck smiles. Brittany had gotten good at teasing Santana's truths out. But it had taken a long time. She was a magician in her own right.
"You don't know that I'm noticing."
This line was the most important so Brittany underlined it. She was sort of glad that Santana didn't know how much she noticed about her. Like how Brittany sometimes could find shapes in the skin folds when Santana wrinkled her nose. Or the fact that Brittany knew Santana's rubbish disposal habits by heart.
If Santana was drinking from a bottle the food wrapping accompanying the drink would be curled up and squeezed into the neck of the bottle. If she'd just eaten cupcakes or muffins- their paper frills would be folded and folded and folded again until they were shaped like tiny, tiny, crumb flecked pieces of pizza. Popsicle sticks were snapped twice and twirled until their splinters went all stringy and broke apart.
Brittany said the verse to herself one more time and then her next idea came to her easily. Like time ticking over into the next moment.
The idea made Brittany realise that it had been fate for her not to do her math homework and that her conscience might well be quiet now because she wasn't being lazy anymore. Her idea was way more important than maths.
Brittany sat up and folded her legs like they taught you to do in first grade and then she pulled her lap top onto her knees and opened up a word document. At the top she typed: SANTANA and BRITTANY's INFINITE PLAYLIST.
That was as far as she got before she jumped a foot in the air and nearly lost her computer off her lap- all because her phone had somehow made it's way onto her bed and underneath her butt and juddered violently beneath it. She tilted a leg up and felt around the warm blankets for the movement. Then she pulled it out and looked at the flashing screen.
Brittany's heart decided to play jump rope when Santana's voice came husked and low through the line.
"Hey babe."
"Hey you."
Brittany was grinning stupidly to herself and Santana obviously could hear it because she asked what was so funny.
"Nothing."
"Alright, if you say so. Did you do your math?"
"No."
Brittany said the word while she was looking at the title of Santana's playlist so she didn't even feel guilty at all.
"Neither."
"What did you do then?"
Santana huffed a sigh. "General Business, read a thing for English and then did the history worksheet."
The phone speaker crackled with Santana's yawn and it made Brittany yawn too. Just out of sympathy. She was too excited about her idea to be sleeply.
While Santana talked about not wanting to go to school tomorrow Brittany bent over her diary and drew a big heart around the lines of the coming Tuesday- Feb 14th. Then, in the lines underneath tomorrows date- Monday 13th- Brittany wrote herself a list.
Songs.
Cover.
Blank CD.
"Britt?"
Brittany stopped writing so she could hear Santana.
"Mmm?"
Santana's voice was hesitant. "I-I asked if you wanted to come over. I could swing round and pick you up."
"In your car?" Brittany clarified, because she got confused when people said 'swing' without there being any actual swings involved.
"Yeah…?"
Brittany looked back down at her playlist...well, really, her playlist title… and hesitated. She really wanted to get this all done. But…
"Okay I'll be waiting outside."
"Sweet. And bring your Maths...we'll do it together."
Brittany's heart leapt when Santana's car rounded the corner to her street.
As it came closer, Brittany could feel Santana's eyes on her which made her giddy and nervous and, in a rush, she opened the car door before Santana had even fully stopped the car. She didn't even stop to settle into her seat before she launched herself across the centre console and kissed Santana hard on the mouth.
"Well hello to you too!" Santana said, laughing at Brittany as she pulled away.
They both had to wipe their mouths because Santana had been midway through a word so the kiss went a little sloppy. But Brittany didn't care. She kissed Santana again and then put her seat belt on.
As they started down the road Brittany automatically reached to the hollow in the centre console where Santana's iPod was usually cradled. But it wasn't there. Brittany thought that the hollow looked funny without it, like a mouth with no teeth.
"Oh yeah, iPod's busted," Santana said, glancing down to the hollow too. "I think there's some old mix CDs under your seat."
Brittany doubled over and stretched her arm into the space underneath the seat- patting around on the carpet for the disks. She found one and threaded her finger through the hole in the middle to pull it out.
It was dusty and scratched but Brittany wanted to jam so she bunched up the bottom of her shirt and tried as best she could to wipe it clean. Santana was driving with one hand and with the other she was stabbing buttons on her stereo trying to get it woken up. It finally did and the small strip of LED screen lit up with calculator letters that said "Hello".
"Dunno what's on there," Santana said as Brittany fed the disk into the slot until it was jerked from her fingers.
"Jesus, I hope it's not an artifact left over from my Usher obsession."
Brittany smiled at the thought. "We were 13 then and you didn't have a car so I think you're safe."
Santana cocked her head at Brittany. "Yeah. Yeah I guess that's true."
At just that moment, the CD began grinding in the stereo player- which didn't sound at all healthy .
Brittany was reaching out to hit the 'eject' button when suddenly the stereo managed to summon up a beat.
It wasn't Usher.
"I love this song!" Brittany exclaimed and looked delightedly at Santana.
Santana was facing the road but she had her face all scrunched up.
"What the hell is this?"
"Disco Duck!" Brittany exclaimed, wiggling in her seat as the duck started quacking to the beat. She watched Santana's face crinkle even more and it made Brittany stop wiggling.
"You can't say that you don't like it because it's on your CD," She pointed out.
Santana didn't answer and began laughing at the road. Brittany laughed too and then started singing along in her very best duck voice.
The voice seemed to make Santana laugh even harder- cupping a hand over her mouth to stifle her noises. Brittany threw her a pout- though she wasn't really annoyed.
"Hey, at least I'm trying! The duck voice is really hard!"
"No it isn't. It's easy," Santana said- turning her voice all raspy and lispy in a perfect imitation of the duck singing through the speakers.
Brittany's mouth dropped open in shock but Santana just turned back to the road like nothing had happened. Brittany reached out and hit the stop button so that the music skidded to a halt and all the usual car sounds started up again.
"You just did the duck voice!" She exclaimed, feeling like Santana was suddenly whole other person. Or like she'd just given Brittany one extra way to love her.
"You can do the duck voice," she repeated. Santana rolled her eyes away from the road, long enough to give Brittany an exasperated look.
"So? Turn the music back on."
Brittany's eyes stayed wide. "Do the duck voice again."
Santana pursed her lips and shook her head as she flicked her indicator on and switched them into the turning right lane of the intersection. The lights were red so she halted the car- making Brittany jerk a little in her seat. She leant forwards to get Santana to look at her.
"Please?"
Santana fanned one hand out from her temple- blocking the side of her face from view. Brittany noticed she was still shaking with laughter.
Laughing too, but a little sad that Santana was refusing to share her gift, Brittany pressed play on the stereo and the real duck voice filled the car. She began wiggling in her seat again, humming along and tapping her hands on the dashboard.
The interior of the car tinged green as the light right above them changed color. Santana surged the car forwards, curving it smoothly around onto the next road.
It was when the ticking of the indicator shut off the Brittany realised there were two duck voices singing the current verse. She looked over and saw that Santana had dropped her hand from her face and had it on the steering wheel with her other one. She was tapping them both against it and singing along.
Brittany tried to sing too so that Santana wouldn't notice her watching her do her duck voice- but all the words seemed to have left Brittany's head and she couldn't remember them. All she could think about was how pretty Santana looked- even when she thought no one was noticing. Even when she was doing her duck voice.
Brittany twisted sideways in her seat so that her back and her head were resting against the car door. She was lazy with her eyes- letting them linger across Santana like she was watching a movie. Santana shot her a sideways look as the duck verse finished and grinned at her.
It was like Brittany melted. She grinned back and wished she'd brought her school diary in the car with her so that she could write the name of the first song in their infinite playlist.
Santana:
Santana was tired of pretending. She was tried of denying and pushing her feelings away- slamming the door shut on them and jamming scowls and eye rolls and huge huffing sighs up against it.
She had to be honest with herself. Admitting was the first step, wasn't it?
She took a deep breath.
"I'm lingering" she admitted mentally. "I'm lingering at the Lima Bean Valentine's Day stand."
"Looking for something in particular?" A voice that wasn't her own came over her shoulder.
She whirled around to see Kurt standing in front of her, holding an identical coffee-to-go cup. He was smirking knowingly at her.
Santana edged sideways away from the stand.
"I was waiting for my coffee," she clarified in a cold voice.
"Of course, of course," Kurt assured her sarcastically. Santana narrowed her eyes at him.
"God, you know the whole annoying know-it-all thing really suits you Kurt. All you need now is a moustache and Adrian Brody's nose and you'll be like Rachel Berry 2.0."
Kurt took a sip of his coffee, swung to look briefly over at the Valentine's Day stand and then said: "The candles would be a nice touch if you were planning some kind of stay at home intimate dinner. So would the…" He glanced back, standing up on his toes to see what else was on the stand. "The bags of rose petals would work with that idea as well. But personally I think Britt would like the kissing Panda bears."
"Pandas are like the least sexy animals ever," Puck appeared around the other side of Kurt- holding a coke and a brown paper bag. "Do you know the ones in captivity have to be shown panda porn so that they can learn how to get it on?"
Santana stared at him in repulsion.
"H-how do you even know that, Puckerman?" Kurt asked in a clipped voice.
Puck gave a cheery shrug and then contemplated the Valentine's Day rack in the same way that Kurt had done.
"You're looking in the wrong place for a Valentine's Day present Santana." he said, levelling a smirk at her. "The place you want is across town. House of Fun. I'm pretty sure the last time I was there they had a two for one deal on lube and I know I've seen a whole wall covered in strap-ons and…"
"Wow." Santana muttered, frowning at Puck. "You get classier every day."
Puck held up his hands. "I'm sure you and Britt have no problem getting down and dirty but I just thought…"
"Okay! Enough, enough!" Kurt said, using both hands and all his body weight to shunt Puck away towards the front door.
"God that was disturbing," he said when Puck had gone, rubbing his palms over his ears. "But anyway, as I was saying. You don't have to be shy about admitting that you're thinking about what to get her. Now that you're in a committed relationship it's really only customary. Hmmm," Kurt tapped a finger on his chin and shot his eyes to the ceiling.
"You could do what Blaine is doing for me and leave Britt anonymous love notes in her locker and stuff. I can really see her loving that."
Santana frowned. "That's like the most stupid idea ever if you obviously know who it is."
"Well," Kurt considered and then laughed lightly. "I may have caught on pretty quick but Britt...well...she could need a nudge in the right direction."
Santana's frown deepened. "What are you trying to say?"
"Oh, no. No, nothing. I guess Blaine's just doing it to keep up the excitement seeing as he can't actually be with me."
"Why do I get the feeling that you're using Valentine's Day suggestions as a way to talk about your own relationship?"
Kurt looked offended.
"I'd do no such thing! I'm honestly genuinely concerned that your...erm...intolerance for any sort of overly intense display of emotion will mean that you'll flag Valentine's Day altogether. Which, you know… I guess you could get away with if you were dating someone else. But you're not. You're dating Brittany. Which means…" He pointed to the Valentine's stand, "...kissing pandas."
Santana didn't say anything, realising with rapid clarity that Kurt thought she had the same tact and capacity for romance as a truck driver. Or Finn. Santana couldn't tell whether it was a blessing or a curse that he thought that way. The truth, she knew, would probably make him squee and need a diaper change. She was wearing her Cheerios track pants underneath her skirt- so it wasn't like he'd be able to see that heart socks that she was wearing to match Brittany's. And it wasn't like he'd check her browser history and discover the slew of "cute and quirky Valentine's Day dates" search results she'd clicked on.
"Santana?" Kurt was waggling a red rose under her nose. "At least buy this for the poor girl."
She was at him before she really had time to think.
"Ugh. Look. All I wanted to do was get a coffee to make my brain work. But honestly, if I'm around you a moment longer every ounce of will to live that I possess will be sucked into the black hole that is your enthusiasm. And, FYI, just because I like girls doesn't mean I'm like some clueless straight guy who needs a gay fairy godmother to convince him to put in effort into his girlfriend that goes past humping her."
Kurt blinked at her and then dropped his gaze sheepishly down to the top of his coffee cup.
"I didn't mean it that way. You know I…"
"Whatever. I know you didn't but still."
"I should stop butting in on other peoples plans. I just… I guess it just sucks the Blaine isn't here and I had all these ideas to make the day awesome. So I'm trying to pass them on."
Santana paused, and sighed at her own guilt.
"Well, I guess this is a good start," she said, snatching the rose off him.
Before the smile of delight could fully infect his features, Santana held up a hand, blocking it from view.
"Not a word," she growled warningly.
Santana watched Kurt leave and then paid for the rose and followed after him out the door.
She walked down the street to her car, stewing a mouthful of coffee. Apart from the rose she still had no idea how to make Valentine's Day special for Brittany. Kurt had been right about one thing… Santana didn't have just your average valentine.
By the time she pulled past the school gates, the traffic had made her late for homeroom. There were only a few students still making their way into school and even fewer car parks. Santana idled in the crowded space, debating whether or not to try to squeeze in between a power pole and some jerk who had parked wonkily in the next space.
Figuring she'd rather be late than have a dent in her car, Santana decided she'd circle around the school to the car park by the back entrance.
Most of the parks were taken there as well but Santana managed to squeeze into one on the very edge- between a concrete wall and a massive, fuck-off red pickup.
She cut off her ignition and cast her gaze across to the passenger seat where she'd laid the rose over her school bag. It wasn't even Valentine's Day yet. Would giving it to Brittany confuse her? Santana huffed a sigh. It'd be gross and wilty tomorrow if she waited. She really had no choice. Leaning over, she reached out to collect it and her bag. But paused when her eyes fell through the passenger window onto the pick-up.
Being bent low across the seat like she was, Santana could see up into it's cab.
Dave Karofsky was sitting inside, writing on something he had pressed open on the steering wheel.
After a moment of looking in surprise, Santana finished gathering her stuff and twisted up out of the car.
She slammed the door closed harder than usual so that the sound carried and Karofsky jerked his head up, turning to find the source of the noise.
It was hard to gauge what exact emotions passed across his face in the few beats that they looked at one another. Santana recognised shock. Maybe a hint of panic.
She wound her way around the bonnet of her car and approached his window, watching as he folded up what Santana now realised was a card. One with cartoon hearts on the front.
She leant back against the side of her car and watched him crank the handle on his door, lowering the glass separating them.
"Santana," he said formally, nodding at her.
"I didn't know you were coming back here," she said, folding her arms and tilting her head to take him in.
"I'm not. I'm just here to sort some left over football stuff with Coach Beiste."
Santana rose her eyebrows . "By way of a valentines day card and...what is that? A rose?" She'd risen up onto her toes to see into the cab of the truck and on the passenger seat lay a red rose and the card she'd seen him writing in.
Karofsky turned and looked down at them like he'd never seen them before.
"Oh no...that's… they're for someone else. I was just killing time before I had to go see her."
"Are they for a guy?"
Anger ghosted across Karofsky's face and he snapped his head up to her. It was almost as if he had forgotten who she was because once their eyes connected the anger dropped like a stone and his cheeks flushed.
"Yeah."
Santana took this in without comment. Karofsky was looking at her own rose now.
"Looks like you've got the same idea as me," he said, pointing to it. It was Santana's turn to glance down.
"Guess I do."
"Is it for a girl?"
"For my girlfriend," she said, feeling a little thrill at the word leaving her mouth.
Karofsky notched his chin and wrinkled it by pushing his lips against one another. What was that on his face, Santana wondered. Admiration? Jealousy?
"Who is she?" He asked. His tone was even but the look was still there.
Santana tilted her head at him, winding her eyes over his face.
"Brittany," she answered, the thrill doubling at saying her name.
Karofsky faltered and then jerked his eyebrows up in surprise. "As in… Cheerios Brittany?"
"Uh-huh." Santana nodded, trying not to grin.
Karofsky turned his face back to his steering wheel for a beat and then looked back up at her.
"So...does that mean you're out?"
"Yep," Santana said. She felt edgy for some reason- like she was being challenged.
"And everyone…" Karofsky lifted his hands and draped them over the steering wheel, digging at the nail on his left thumb. "...Everyone's all good about it?"
"Let's just say that the people in my head gave a bigger crap than anyone here actually does." She shrugged and could only put the rest lightly: "It's been okay. With her...Britt...she's… It's better than it ever was when I wasn't out."
Karofsky nodded at his lap, wrinkling his chin as he pursed his lips upwards for a second time.
"Cool." He said, after a moment.
A few beats of silence followed and Santana looked at him.
He was sitting in his truck and she was leaning against her car and they both had roses for the people they loved. But Santana felt like there was this huge, yawning void between them.
Whereas Santana knew that she could go into the school and hand Brittany the rose and witness the miracle of the tips of her nose and ears going pink and that sun beam smile that Santana loved so much, she was beginning to wonder if Karofsky could do the same.
The edge in his voice told her no. The emotions on his face told her no.
And that card- the terrible, cheesy, cartoon heart card- told her no. She could almost sense the bone china fragile hope that was tucked into it.
It made her feel sort of sick, though she didn't understand why.
"Well," Karofsky cleared his throat. "I better go catch coach up."
Santana shifted upright off the car and nodded.
"Yeah, I've got home room so I guess I'll see you round. Oh, and good luck." She gestured to his passenger seat again.
Karofsky just dropped his head and nodded.
Santana walked away across the car park. It seemed odd that the sounds of Karofsky getting out of his car never came but she didn't look back around. She wanted to get away as fast as she could- feeling a vague, sourceless unease building inside her like a storm.
Brittany:
They sat in silence after Santana left. Maybe it was because she'd taken all the best words with her. Or maybe it was because she'd said them already.
Brittany raised her eyes above Principal Figgins head and focused on the duck ornament that sat up on the third shelf of his book case.
She liked ducks. And she liked how often she got to see them. It make her glad that her favourite animal wasn't like a Tiger or the Chinese White Dolphin because then you'd only see them in Zoos or on TV. At least with Ducks you only had to go to the lake.
Seeing the duck should have made her feel better but it didn't. That was because out of the corner of her eye Brittany was able to see the file sitting between her and Principal Figgins on the coffee folder. The one that had all the complaints about her and Santana. Brittany dropped her eyes to her sneakers and wondered how many times she'd been in this office while that folder had been sitting in his cabinet. She came in here once a week for Senior Class President stuff and he'd never said anything about it before.
Principal Figgins was leaning this way and that in his chair- peering through the glass wall of his office into the hallway. Brittany looked too but she couldn't see Santana.
"Well Brittany, I think you may leave as well. But please understand that I meant no offense to either of you."
Brittany stood up off the couch and noticed that one of her knee caps was wobbly and numb. Principal Figgins was looking up at her, she could tell, but she didn't look at him. She left the office and went to find Santana.
Finding Santana turned out to take 5 seconds. Brittany rounded the first corridor away from the office and there she was- leaning against the Arts and Culture notice board- the same one that Artie had posted the cast list for West Side Story.
Santana was taking slow, deep breaths that made her cheeks balloon out. Her eyes were closed.
"San…" Brittany stepped up so that the toes of the their sneakers were almost touching. After Brittany said the first part of Santana's name she saw Santana's breathing stall halfway out her mouth and she fluttered her eyelids open.
They looked at one another. Just looked. Brittany was glad because she was too busy taking in all the things Santana's face was saying to concentrate on speaking or hearing words.
"I'm so angry." Santana muttered after awhile. And Brittany knew she was telling the truth because the darkness in her eyes was hard and endless. She screwed her mouth upwards, mashing her lips together so that it looked half like she was trying not to cry and half like she was about to snarl.
She shook her head even though Brittany hadn't said anything.
"I just can't believe that just yesterday I'd been saying about how good things were and how no one cared what we did and then...wham. This happens. And on fucking Valentine's Day of all days."
There was a heaviness in Brittany's throat. Like she hadn't swallowed a bite of her sandwich properly. And she could feel her eyes stinging.
As much as she was angry, she was sad too and she wished she hadn't been so that she could have yelled at Principle Figgins like Santana had. But words got all choked up and she couldn't get them out.
"Can I have a hug?" She asked.
The hardness in Santana's eyes melted like ice cubes under the hot water tap and Brittany was relieved. Santana opened her arms and Brittany stepped into them, sneaking her arms around Santana's lower back and tugging her away from the notice board.
They held on to one another- rocking a little like they were slow dancing. Brittany could feel Santana's breathing moving her back up and down and also scattering moist and hot just below Brittany's ear. She ducked her head into Santana's hair and took a deep breath of her own.
Santana was the one to break the hug.
Brittany hoped that it was just a coincidence that the sound of voices and footsteps reached them a second before they pulled apart. Brittany crossed all her fingers behind her back and wished Santana's confidence back to her. Brittany didn't want to go back to pinky fingers and napkins and scared stiff kisses in the dark.
The voices grew louder and Brittany and Santana both looked to the corner of the corridor in time to see Rory and Sugar appear around it. They were both bent low over the screen of Sugar's phone.
"And this is the mini four poster bed that Daddy installed for her at the end of mine. They match, see?" She flicked her finger across the screen. "Oh and here she is chewing on it...And…" Sugar flicked her eyes briefly up to monitor their progress down the hall but she saw Brittany and Santana instead. Her face lit up and she took a couple of skippy steps away from Rory and up to them.
"You two look depressed," she said, peering at them and wrinkling her nose. Then, she held up the screen of her phone- switching it back and forth between their faces. "This is the dog Rory got me for Valentine's Day. Her name is Diamonds."
Brittany tried to focus on the picture on the screen but before she could make out anything more than shaggy grey fur, Sugar dropped her arm and fixed both of them with a beady stare.
"Seriously. Why are you guys so emo A-T-M? It's like...illegal to be depressed on Valentine's Day if you're not single. It means you're winning at life while everyone else is going to die alone. Plus like… there's my party on Friday so I don't get why anyone would be sad when I've already said they're invited."
"In other words," Rory piped up from slightly behind Sugar, "what's wrong?"
Beside her, Brittany caught sight of Santana tossing her head irritably.
"Some stupid Jesus freak has been complaining about the fact that Brittany and I kiss in public," she told them.
When Rory switched his eyes from Santana to Brittany in disbelief and Brittany gave a confirming nod. He scrunched his face up.
"I don' get it," he said, shaking his head. "Who'd complain?"
Santana scowled but Brittany laughed. "You sound like Principal Figgins," she said.
"Gross," Santana added.
"I think I know who it was," Sugar said suddenly in an overtly loud stage whisper.
"Who?" Santana's voice cut the air past Brittany like a dart. Brittany flinched and everything in her tummy tightened.
Oblivious to the sudden tension of the two girls in front of her, Sugar rolled her eyes to the ceiling, tapping a long, pink finger nail on her chin.
"I can't remember his name but there's this new kid who came here from one of those religious colonies. Like the one where everyone drank the Kool Aid and died. And I know Quinn told me that he joined her God group and loves Jesus and wears his sandals so it was probs him."
Brittany could feel the press of Santana's gaze on her, but when she turned her head to meet it she noticed that it was actually angled just beyond her- staring at nothing but empty corridor. It made all the knots in Brittany's stomach twist harder. She'd never heard of this Jesus cult guy. But she was worried now. She wanted to take Santana's hand and squeeze it really tight. She wanted to rewind back to when she was showing Santana her playlist cover and she wanted to freeze the frame right on Santana's face. Just before they kissed.
"Okay," Sugar huffed when no one said anything. "You guys are really depressing me so I'm going to walk away now." She turned so fast on her heel that it squeaked and clopped off. Brittany heard the sound of Rory moving too and she looked up at him. There was pity all over his face as he cast her a weak smile.
"Jus ignore whoever it is alright?"
Brittany nodded hard and smiled back but she didn't feel good. She risked a peek at Santana and saw that her face was set all hard and angular.
"We've got History," Brittany reminded her in a small voice. When Santana didn't respond Brittany reached out and tugged her hand. But Santana knew how to make her body dead weighted and she didn't budge at Brittany's effort.
"I don't want to go," she dead panned, still staring out into the corridor.
Brittany suddenly had a flash of panic. She didn't know what to do so she loitered awkwardly in front of Santana, dropping her hand so that she could scrunch up the sides of her Cheerio's pants in her sweaty palms.
"But we're late," was all she could think of to say.
Santana shrugged. "I don't care."
Brittany mashed her lips together to stop a small sob escape them. Her eyes stayed dry but she was panicking.
What if Principal Figgins had broken Santana so that she never wanted to look at Brittany again? What if that stupid Jesus guy had made Santana revert back to how she used to be-drawing a maze of invisible lines around her that Brittany wasn't allowed to cross.
Brittany looked at Santana and could almost physically feel the tension radiating off her. She felt another sob coming but she gulped it back and then used her words.
"You're scaring me," she admitted.
It took a beat but then Santana dragged her eyes away from the corridor and looked at Brittany. Her eyes were hazy like she was going to cry.
Brittany didn't care about Figgins or the Jesus kid or anyone else who couldn't stomach the sight of her and Santana. All she wanted was to feel Santana kiss her back.
They came together gratefully- like addicts- sighing relief into one another's mouths. Brittany closed her eyes.
After a moment they broke away, but Santana's hands had come around Brittany's shoulders and they didn't let her pull back too much- only so that they could rest their foreheads against one another.
"I don't ever want to have to stop doing that. Not for anyone." Santana said.
"Neither," Brittany replied, her heart contracting in joy.
She watched as Santana's really up close eyes switched back and forth to look up and down the hall way.
Then her breath ghosted against Brittany's mouth.
"Let's get out of here."
Brittany blinked in confusion as Santana disentangled them and grasped her hand, tugging her the way that Sugar and Rory had gone.
"Wait.. Where are we going?"
"My locker so we can get your computer."
"My computer…" Brittany repeated the words numbly as she hurried her footsteps to match Santana's.
"Yep, it's got that awesome playlist on it which I want to listen to while we drive."
Santana:
Santana didn't know what was better- The sweet sight of Jesus boys face when he realised what Santana had asked of him, or the looks of the surrounding church choir members when they realised the same.
Santana actually caught sight of one of them cross himself.
She stayed very, very still. Like a rabbit testing the air for danger. Except she was testing the faces around her for betrayal.
Sam was standing behind dreadlock Jesus- his immense mouth puckered together and his eyes diverted to the ground awkwardly. Christian my ass, Santana thought with a snort, remembering how willing he'd been to use the lords name in vein when she'd been sitting, grinding on his lap. This time last year, almost, she thought.
And then there was Quinn. She'd always dangled her religion above people. It was just another thing to steepen her moral high-ground. Santana had always attributed Quinn's silence about she and Brittany to tolerance. But now, with those green eyes fluttering up to dreadlock Jesus's face- seeming to rest the decision completely on his shoulders- Santana realised that maybe the silence had been less about tolerance and more about Quinn being too scared to say how she really felt.
To counteract the sickening drop of her stomach, Santana notched her chin upwards and looked lastly at Mercedes.
It seemed like a sick joke when Santana realised her face looked exactly like the others. Her eyes were pinned resolutely away from Santana. Her was body stiff. And her mouth was a thin, hard line.
Santana struggled to arrange her words into another challenge. Trying to hit upon just how unjust it all was.
But Mercedes spoke before any of the right words showed up.
"I think we need to get back to you Santana."
Like Quinn, she was looking at Joe. Santana snapped her eyes back up to him- rage rising like a vicious tide.
"It was you," she spat.
He rose his eyebrows.
"What...what was?"
"It was you that complained about me and Brittany to Principal Figgins, wasn't it?" She stepped right up to him, trying to be as intimidating as she could be when he was standing above her on a table.
To her satisfaction, he looked genuinely afraid- hugging his guitar harder to his front and looking down at her, wide-eyed.
"N-no, I haven't complained about anyone. It's only my third day here. I've only seen Principal Figgins twice. Once when I enrolled and the other when he called me in to have my dreads sterilized because some Coach lady said they could contain bird flu."
Santana didn't let his point sink in. She was too angry to be rational. And rationality seemed cheap. It seemed like a cop out to all the injustice she'd seen. All the uphill battles she'd just recognised.
And instead of blinding her, the anger made her see clearly. The truth itched across her skin like a rash- and sunk into her bones. She was seeing everything that she'd missed before. She and Brittany were never breezed by in the corridor when they kissed. Not like Mike and Tina. Or Finn and Rachel.
With she and Brittany there was always that pause. That brief flicker of eyes in their direction. Maybe a wince. A giggle. A nudge.
Tolerance at best. Never acceptance.
She had been blind before. She'd kissed with her eyes closed.
But now three of her best friends were shoving all of it in her face.
And then, just to top the moment off, Rachel Berry opened her mouth.
"I think that maybe this request does deserve extra thought. And Santana, while I am completely for the representation and embracing of all types of couples, I do think that it is a bit reactional to request a song from a known Christian group."
Santana snapped her head around.
"A Christian group where three out of four members are supposed to be my friends," she spat.
Rachel half opened her mouth but Santana was so angry she was shaking.
"No, you know what?" She trailed her eyes menacingly across Quinn, Sam and Mercedes, almost blanching from the anger surging through her. "Whatever. Go pray about it. Go look at your bible. Do whatever helps you sleep at night. I'm done with this bull crap."
"Santana…" Rachel whirled with her, snatching at her hand. Santana wrenched it away and kept walking.
She didn't stop until she found herself standing in front of Britt's locker. Aimlessly, she swing the dial around- clicking the sequence of numbers into place. It was the same as her own.
She unhooked the latch and swung the light metal door back.
The rose she'd given Brittany yesterday was there- it's stem wedged up between the back of the locker and the beginning of the top shelf so that it would hang upside down and preserve.
Santana leant her head almost completely inside the small space and inhaled deeply. She could still smell the rose. And the metallic smell of ink from when one of Brittany's sparkly jelly pens leaked through the bottom. It was covered by books now but Santana knew the purple stain would still be there.
Santana rifled through the books and crumpled paper and hairclips- looking for any sort of fabric that would hold Brittany's scent. Maybe her winter hat, or a scarf. If Brittany hadn't somehow gotten herself roped into helping Sugar plan the Valentine's Day party Santana could have just buried her face in Brittany's neck. But fabric was the next best thing.
After turning through the contents of Brittany's locker Santana had only found one useful thing- the tube of raspberry lip smacker that Brittany had thought she'd lost.
Santana pocketed it and then rumpled the contents of the locker once again so that it would all fit inside without hitting against the door.
As she did, a piece of paper flitted out and tumbled through the air to sweep lightly onto the linoleum between Santana's feet . When Santana picked it up she was about to crumple it into her fist- thinking it was just scrap paper. But then she noticed that one side of it was covered almost entirely with little red penned in hearts. It looked like the inside page of a diary- and though it had been ripped half through the date, she could make out the last half of the word 'February' in the top left hand corner. She turned it over.
In the lines on the other side was a cluster of Brittany's hand writing.
"The way you're moving in your sleep. The way you look before you leap. The strange illusions that you keep. You don't know that I'm noticing."
Brittany:
Brittany had never seen Breadstix look this awesome.
There were hearts and balloons everywhere- so many that you couldn't take three steps without sending a couple skittering off your shins.
Even though the bash was winding down and the staff were hovering impatiently around the edges of the room, Sugar insisted on keeping the party alive. She had a permanent hold of her sparkling white microphone and kept trying to hustle the crowd. It worked for the most part- because she kept promising more gift vouchers to people.
When Sugar had commanded a switch from live performances to a playlist on her iPod, all the glee clubbers had migrated around a single table. That's where Brittany was sitting now- sandwiched between Quinn and Artie.
Mike, Tina, Santana and Sam were still going crazy on the dance floor with Sugar egging them on through her microphone. Brittany had to crane her neck from where she was sitting to see them- but every now and then she heard Santana or Tina squeal followed by the rumble of Sam and Mike's laughter. Brittany had supersonic hearing when it came to her friends- she could pick their voices over the hum of the crowd and the beat.
Brittany felt something nudge her foot and she looked down to see a wandering heart balloon. She bent down and squeezed it up between the small space of the table and her lap. Then she eyed Mercedes who was across the table gazing into space. Biting back a giggle, Brittany notched it into the air and then punched against it. It flew off to the side of Mercedes and hit Rachel instead- upsetting the drink she had tilted to lips. The coke went down onto her dress a little bit but not enough to justify the squeal she made.
She put down her glass and spun fiercely around, searching for the culprit. Hastily, Brittany turned to Artie beside her and did the first thing she thought of- she handed him her cheese heart.
He blinked up at her.
"Do you want it?" She asked by way of explanation.
"Oh, oh no it's okay. I've already eaten Mike and Tina's ones since they've been up dancing."
Brittany placed hers down in front of him. "Well you've been sad so just take mine too. And…" She leant over to where Santana had left her clutch and her own cheese heart.
"Here." Brittany ripped off the vouchers and handed it to him.
"Santana hates these too." She stacked them neatly on top of one another and pressed them towards Artie.
He gave her a grim sort of smile. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Brittany risked a peek at Rachel who was now furiously wiping the front of her dress with her napkin. Then Brittany was caught by a soft elbow in the ribs and she turned just in time to catch Quinn's sideways smile.
"Lucky I didn't rat you out."
Brittany smiled. "Super lucky," she agreed.
Quinn turned and leant back in her chair a little so that Brittany could see past her to the dancing crowd.
"Santana looks so happy," she said, gesturing. Brittany followed her eyes to Santana. Quinn was right- Santana had her arms up, twirling herself and Tina around and laughing so hard it looked like the joy would split it apart.
It was so contagious that Brittany caught it all the way from where she was sitting.
Quinn looked around at her and they grinned at one another.
"Did you like your singing telegram?"
"It was the best!" Brittany said, nodding. "I'm glad you decided to do it."
"Oh, we always knew that we wanted to. It was just a matter of getting everyone comfortable with the idea."
Brittany nodded, knowing that by everyone she actually meant Jesus boy.
She shifted her eyes past Quinn again to look for Santana but she was no longer visible in the crowd and then with freaky bible timing that made Brittany even more weary of him, Jesus boy lent forward from Quinn's other side and grinned at her.
"Hey Brittany," he said, holding out a hand. "Here's where I can properly meet you."
Brittany travelled her eyes up his arm and to his face wearily. He didn't look like he was from a cult. Well, maybe he did, but only the ones that did drugs and surfed.
"Hi Jesus boy," she said, taking his hand and shaking it.
This made Quinn laugh.
"His name is Joe."
"Like Jesus's dad?"
Quinn's laughter faltered and then picked up again with renewed voice. Joe laughed too- his adam's apple bobbing up and down his neck.
"That's one I haven't heard befor- oh…"
Joe's voice faltered when a large shape wedged itself between Brittany and Quinn.
Brittany blinked, trying to clear the dark sweep of hair that had suddenly obscured her vision. She knew who it was by the tone of the giggle that vibrated into her side.
Santana curved her arms around Brittany's neck- her bracelet digging into the top notch of Brittany's spine. Brittany felt her shift her weight and then the dark hair fell away from Brittany's face as Santana's head tilted. She could see again but only for a moment because Santana pressed a hot, open kiss to the side of her neck which made Brittany's vision blanche.
She had squeezed in between Brittany and Quinn's chair and had fitted herself onto Brittany's lap- leaning sideways into Brittany- with her back to Artie and facing Quinn.
Brittany curled her arms around Santana's waist to keep her steady and the grinned up at her as she pulled away, whisking her hair around one shoulder.
"Glad you came back," Brittany said. And she meant it. The warmth of Santana, the reassuring weight- it all made Brittany feel tingly with satisfaction. She looked up to see Santana's face curved over hers- so close that Brittany could kiss her if she tilted her face a few centimetres. Santana's eyes were warm and her hand was stroking the back of Brittany's neck.
"You want to get out of here?" She breathed.
Every single hair stood up alone Brittany's arms. She felt like she had bugs crawling on her. But not the slimy kind. Like the tickley kind- like fire fairies.
"Yeah," she nodded, not taking her eyes off Santana's. Santana squeezed her briefly and then let her go, shimmying up off of her and leaning over the table to grab her clutch. Brittany scooted her chair back and stood too, readjusting her dress which had edged up her thighs.
As soon as the door of Breadstix swung shut behind them it was like the party belonged to another world- one that was muffled and hazy. The cool air sunk into Brittany's lungs and the rest of the world lay open and twinkling around them.
Santana had her by the hand, walking so close to Brittany's side that her hair brushed against Brittany's arm.
"You cold?" Santana asked, taking a juddery breath to indicate that she was.
Brittany shook her head but turned sideways and wrapped both her arms tight around Santana. It was like she was a clingy bear- latched to Santana's side. It was a little awkward getting to the car but they managed it without tripping over each other's feet- which Brittany thought was quite an accomplishment seeing as she sometimes had trouble keeping her own feet apart and also because Santana was laughing so hard she kept stumbling sideways into Brittany.
They dropped inside the car at exactly the same time, still breathless from laughing and stumbling. Santana switched on the heat, and hunched over her steering wheel- pressing the length of her forearms up against it and then curving her hands around it at the top. She used them like a pillow and looked over at Brittany.
Brittany felt giddy from how amazing the night had been and as she sat in the seat her body was practically humming from happiness. As if Santana felt it too, she smiled wide and slow.
"You're beautiful," she said. Brittany blushed instantly- and the heat in the car made it worse. She tried to match up exactly where Santana's eyes had fixed on her face to make her say that but they kept sort of darting all around it.
"You are as wel-" Santana stopped her next words with a kiss. Just a small one, but it was magic. Then she started the ignition and turned to Brittany.
"Where to ma'am?" She asked in her best Jack Dawson voice. And that sideways smile and that gleam in her eyes made Brittany melt a little bit.
She followed along smoothly, because they'd done this before.
"To the stars."
Santana didn't quite get them to the stars. But they didn't go home. To Brittany, the streets that flew past them were all familiar- but they appeared in a sequence she'd never experienced before so she couldn't work out where they were headed.
She asked Santana who just placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed.
Brittany closed her mouth and adjusted the heat lower.
The speakers of the car played some low, sweltering beat that had no words. And Santana's hand had begun rubbing at Brittany's thigh which didn't help. Soon, Brittany was all strung up- the patch between her legs heaving almost in time to the bass.
They drove for what seemed like a long time and Brittany couldn't fight the mounting feeling that Santana was taking her on a trip.
"Where are we…"
Santana's hand squeezed again and slipped higher upwards. Brittany's voice died.
She pulled the car into the yawning archway of a building- one with a semicircle drive and manicured hedges and brass bag trolleys stacked, glinting by the door. Brittany saw soft lighting coming through the high, old fashioned, arching windows.
Brittany blinked out at it all in wonder and then turned back to Santana who was leaning in her seat, smiling at Brittany.
"A hotel." She said simply.
She just blinked at Santana in awe.
"You booked us in?"
"Uh-huh. Just for the night." She held a set of keys up in front of Brittany's face.
"Shall we?"
Brittany nodded so hard that her neck hurt. She was making to get out of the door when Santana suddenly jerked her arm away from the handle.
"No…that's… hold on."
She undid her seat belt and walked around the bonnet of the car, opening Brittany's door and holding out a hand to her.
Once Brittany was out of the car she noticed an older guy in fancy dress suit who took the car keys that Santana handed him and actually tipped his hat at them before walking to the drivers seat of Santana's car.
Brittany stared around her, wide-eyed.
"This is so flash," she breathed. And all she could think of was how the foyer reminded her of a ballroom in a castle with its tall pillars and its chandelier- hanging like a clutch of stars over their heads. Brittany had always wanted to touch one- just to hear the droplets of glass or diamonds or whatever they were tinkling. But they were always hung too high for her to reach. This one was no exception.
Santana had her by the hand and was leading her through the lobby. The front desks were vacant- lit only by one of those funny shaped lamps that you always saw on businessmen's old school wooden desks. It made Brittany think of cigars and whisky.
Santana still wasn't answering any questions or saying anything much. So Brittany kept her mouth closed and concentrated on the building rise of anticipation in her lower stomach.
The elevator dropped them smoothly and efficiently onto the seventh floor- into a wide, white hallway- dimly lit like the lobby had been.
Santana knew the way to their room by heart and she slid the card into the slot of their door the right way up which impressed Brittany because it almost always took her more than one go.
Santana held the door open and Brittany stepped into the room, her breath folding in on itself at the wide, immaculately made bed and the modern brown couch and the shimmery curtains that had a gap in them so that the lights from the nearby buildings snuck in. The room was dim and slightly golden. And it smelt clean. Like fresh sheets. Like the start of a morning. Like a first kiss, if that made any sense.
The sound of the door snapping shut brought her around to face Santana, whose face was shy and sort of hesitant.
"I can't believe you went to all this trouble…with the song and the rose and the…all of this…" Brittany gestured helplessly around at the room. Santana cocked her head.
"Well, the rose was an impulse thing. And the song… I wasn't even sure that was going to go ahead so it was kind of a surprise for me as well. And the hotel room…" She tossed the keys onto a nearby side table and kicked off her high heels.
"…is perfect." Brittany finished, stepping up to Santana.
Being taller, Brittany was the one who put her hands around Santana's back, while Santana's arms came around her waist.
"I'm going to kiss you," Santana murmured, raising her eyes to Brittany's lips and then straining upwards to meet them with her own.
It was a kiss that got under Brittany's skin. It was the Santana she knew best- the one that took a hold of Brittany's mouth and used her tongue to trace fire.
It was far away from the shy girl at Breadstix who'd tilted her face upwards and hung her smile in the air waiting for Brittany to catch it.
They pulled away at the same time, both a little breathless. Santana looked around the room but Brittany didn't move her eyes from Santana.
At hotel rooms Brittany had a ritual where she went exploring. Every cupboard and knook and cranny. She pushed her face into the plush, fluffy towels and played with the tap dials and flicked the lights on and off and read the room service menu and plucked through the TV channels. Taking in every angle of the view from the windows. Hotel rooms fascinated her because they were like a bedroom, but they weren't part of a home. They hung in this exciting limbo between comfort and adventure.
That was her ritual. That was how they make her feel. But now Brittany felt like she was caught in another limbo- one that involved Santana. Comfort. Adventure.
They came together and then met the bed by falling on their sides. Brittany whispered onto Santana's mouth that she should be careful of her dress but Santana sat up and undid the zip, pulling it roughly from her body. Brittany took her own dress off too and her heels, but she left in the head scalp and all her hair pins because they were too annoying to take out and Santana's eyes were dark and impatient.
She was stretched out on the bed before Brittany in a purple two piece lingerie set. Though Brittany had seen her body so many times before- the new surroundings made it different.
The look on Santana's face was open and expectant and so contradictory because her chin was all notched up in a challenge but her eyes were so pleading it made Brittany almost worried. She couldn't get up the bed fast enough to kiss it off her face.
They kissed for a bit- Brittany straddling Santana and bent over her with her hands anchoring around her cheeks and Santana's hands just resting on Brittany's thighs. When they had to breathe again Brittany backed up off Santana slightly, so that her bum pressed into Santana's knee caps.
She ran her eyes over Santana's body.
The skin over her ribs was pulled taunt by the position she's was lying in- and her ribs showed through like the membrane of a birds wing. Her stomach was taunt too- right down to the lines of her hips that came as together at the patch of skin above her underwear.
Brittany looked at Santana like was her first time seeing her this way. She looked like she had never allowed to when it actually had been their first time. She looked and let herself smile.
But after a moment she felt Santana's hips jerk up against the bottom of her thighs and Brittany scooted back up so she could reach her lips again.
And then the whole world flipped around and Brittany found herself with her back against the mattress. Seeing stars.
Santana's body was hot over hers. She had her arms pinned around Brittany's back- pressing them together belly to belly . The heat, the softness, made Brittany gasp and hitch her breath like she'd forgotten how her lungs were supposed to work.
Santana was trailing kisses down her neck. Open mouthed. Hot. Wet. And her hair- undone and tangled- swept over Brittany's face, down her chin- then wisped across her chest, over her breasts- moving like prelude to Santana's lips- which were now giving the juts of her collar bone kisses.
It was reflex that made Brittany jerk her hands up and wind them through Santana's hair. She opened her fingers and let the strands trail through the gaps in her fingers. It felt so soft- like Santana was giving her kisses with not just her lips.
"I want you so much," Santana whispered against the plains of her stomach.
Brittany dipped her head back and looked into the dimness at Santana's face. Santana's eyes stood out- burning- and her lips were puffed. She ran her tongue over them, leaving them glistening.
She had an idea. And she knew she'd get what she wanted so she tugged Santana lightly by the hair to make her look up.
"Take off your underwear."
Santana paused at this. They shared a look in the dark and then something made Santana shift off of her and obey.
When she rose up to Brittany again and kissed her mouth, Brittany swept her hands around to Santana's bare butt, clutching the skin there and pushing Santana's hips down against the top of the leg that Brittany had already bent upwards.
Santana's centre touched Brittany's thigh like a kiss- wet and warm and soft. She lifted a foot off the bed and Santana gasped as she mashed her hips down harder against Brittany.
After a moment Brittany pushed against Santana's bum again- Trying to her further up Brittany's body. But instead Santana arched her back so that only her hips jutted closer. Brittany could tell she had confused Santana. So, she made it obvious what she wanted to do.
Taking her hands Santana's butt and clutching the blankets, Brittany squirmed down the bed like a snake until her shoulders bumped against the insides of Santana's knees.
She had to pause then and close her eyes as a shudder of arousal beat through her in a slow wave because she could smell Santana. It was an urgent smell- natural, slightly metallic but also sweet.
Above her, Brittany could hear Santana making the first signs of protest- the muscles in her thighs tightened and curled under Brittany's grasp but Brittany didn't let her get away. Instead, she gave one final jerk of her hands- causing Santana's hips to jar forwards and then Brittany's mouth- quick as a flash- caught her folds and kissed them- her tongue swirling around to taste what she'd smelt before.
Santana gasped like Brittany had doused her in cold water. Her muscles tensed away from the sensation but Brittany's hands acted ike guide ropes- pulling her back in, closer. She trailed her tongue over Santana's folds again and moaned as the taste pooled onto her tongue.
Gently, using her fingers, Brittany edged Santana's folds apart and closed her eyes, tilting her neck to sweep her tongue over her clit- again and again.
And when the taste got too urgent, when Santana's moaning was too loud and her hips were rolling like a rough sea, Brittany pulled away and wiggled back up until she was actually sitting up with Santana straddled on her lap.
A moan wrenched out of Brittany as Santana knotted her arms around her neck and bent low to kiss her own taste off Brittany's mouth. And it was even hotter because Santana's hips were still rolling- bumping back and forth against Brittany's stomach.
Santana was on her knees- leaving Brittany a trianglular space between her own lap and the gap between Santana's thighs.
Everything in Brittany was throbbing- her head, her insides. She felt an ache- low, low in her stomach and it was pounding, wrenching. She ground her hips onto the mattress and whimpered as Santana's breasts shifted against her cheeks and made it so much worse.
She kissed them- above the lace of Santana's bra. hard- so that the flesh there sunk in. She did it again and again and then she took a fold of skin and pulled it into her mouth by sucking. She sucks until Santana moved and choked out her name.
And the sound of her voice seized Brittany- she became like Santana usually was- it was like they'd switched roles and Brittany couldn't get close enough, couldn't get Santana hard enough against her. There were a few seconds where their limbs gripped and slid haphazardly against one another and then Brittany reached up into that triangular space, notching her elbow downwards into the own gap between her legs so that she could stretch her fingers straight out and skate the tips of them over the slickness in the centre of Santana's folds.
Santana moaned again, and Brittany looked up, pressing her chin into the curve of Santana's breasts. She could only see the stretch of Santana's neck- all the tendons were stuck out and jerking in time to her breathing. She could see right up to the top of Santana's chin- which meant that she had her head thrown back, staring at the ceiling.
The next moment reminded Brittany of being on a swing set- rhythm built up and gravity swooping you back and forth. And the rushing is so much that you get that sour taste of adrenalin in your mouth and your muscles wind up like springs. And then there's that moment when you hang back in the air- looking at the ground and feeling your life like it's a million particles all around you. And you know what's coming- you know what the rush feels like but it still doesn't prepare you. It's an electric jolt and sends your senses sideways.
As Brittany slipped her fingers up inside Santana, gravity let them both go. Santana let out a hollow 'ooff' and her hips collapsed downwards- causing Brittany's fingers to go all the way up inside her. And Brittany's insides sunk down too- until she could feel wetness from herself on her underwear. Her other arm came around Santana's lower back, holding her steady like she had earlier at Breadstix when Santana had sat on her. Then, she hooked her fingers and began moving inside Santana. Not in and out- because her elbow was already jammed awkwardly- but scooping her fingers back and forth against all that softness.
Santana dropped her head until her chin was flat against her chest and she gaped down at Brittany- her eyes and mouth wide open, her eyebrows furrowed. Brittany met her gaze and pushed her fingers more fiercely- wanting the tightness in her chest to ease- but it gripped her tighter and tighter until she was puffing like she was running a race and Santana had her hands clasped through her hair and her body was taunt- so taunt- around Brittany's pushing fingers.
"More…" She choked. "Harder."
Brittany curled her hand and managed to point a third finger straight and get that inside Santana as well. At the extra pressure inside her, Santana's gasping became guttural. And she pressed Brittany's face so hard into her chest that Brittany's features got all squashed up. And she pulled Brittany's hair in a way that was painful but also made Brittany surge harder and harder up inside her- until Brittany's forearm muscles were silently screaming in protest and Santana was bucking up and down and crying out and swearing.
And then it was like they'd both been tossed up in the air. Santana threw her head back- and Brittany blearly noticed her throat working but either she was saying things silently or Brittany had gone deaf because she couldn't hear any words.
Then it was like the sun had come up and Santana was a gargoyal and had turned to stone- her whole body went rigid and her fingers were pointed like spears into Brittany's skull.
The only thing that moved were her insides- they pulsed and tugged at Brittany's fingers and it was harder than ever for Brittany to keep them moving.
She only managed two more strokes but it was all Santana needed to come undone. She collapsed over Brittany and became so heavy and jerky that Brittany fell backwards onto the bed- bringing Santana down with her.
They gasped into one another's faces and then Santana's body was shaking with hiccup-giggles and it was contagious so Brittany started laughing too.
After a moment Santana looked down at her and Brittany suddenly stilled because she didn't know if anyone had ever told her that they adored her without even opening their mouths.
"I love you." They said it at the same time and looked away, laughing lightly again.
Then Santana looked back and Brittany closed her mouth and reached up and traced a finger down the line of Santana's nose.
"I love you," Brittany said, by herself that time.
They laid against one another until Brittany's eyes suddenly opened and she realised she'd fallen asleep and Santana had moved off her. But not far- her face was right up close and her limbs were all tangled up in Brittany's. She was breathing, slow and steady. And her eyes were closed.
Brittany closed her eyes too and nuzzled her face right in close- edging her nose along the line of Santana's jaw and pressing her lips against Santana's pulse.
That's how she fell back asleep.