Chapter 9:

My eyelids felt like weights as I opened my eyes to squint at the morning sunshine beaming in through my window. Rolling over, I buried my face deep into my pillow and groaned, wishing that I could just sleep forever. My head was pounding with every heartbeat.

"Oh God," I moaned as I forced myself to roll over and open my eyes. Pulling myself up into a sitting position, I noticed that I was still dressed in my gown from last evening's feast.

I rubbed my eyes as I tried to remember how I had arrived back in my room, before giving up. There wasn't much that I could remember, other than the food, the dancing, and the wine. Oh God, that wine.

Though it took me several agonizing moments, I was soon sitting on the edge of my bed, my feet dangling over the floor. Though my window was closed firmly, I could feel the chill in the air, and the last thing that I wanted to do was get out of bed. So I sat there, holding my head in one hand while my other hand worked to absentmindedly smooth out the many wrinkles in the silky fabric of my dress. I have so much to do today… All I wanted to do was sleep. No eating, no socialising, and certainly no moving. As much as I didn't want to, I knew that I would have to get up and tackle the day, no matter how crappy I was feeling. It was my own fault, after all.

I should be going for a run, but that's not going to happen. I really don't feel like going down for breakfast, either. What time is it, anyways? I paused in my thoughts to squint outside, leaning as far forward as I could on the bed so that I wouldn't have to stand up. The sun was already high in the sky. Well dang. Exhausted by the simple movement, I let my body fall backwards onto the mattress, closing my eyes. It's probably safe to say that riding is off the list as well… I really need to talk to Galadriel but I hate to bother her. That just leaves my language and fighting lessons with Haldir. At this thought I opened my eyes suddenly, the previous night's events rushing back to my mind. Rúmil's words and the vague memory of being carried back to my room. The gentle kiss that he had left before I had drifted off to sleep…

I sat up now, my stomach churning. Haldir had feelings for me. Not only had I found myself stuck in a world that I believed to be fiction, but I now had one of the supposedly real-life characters falling for me. At this realisation, I felt my heart flutter. No. No no no no. My mind raced as I quickly shoved my own feelings of excitement away, making my headache even worse. This can't be happening. I'm going home. I'll be leaving soon. At that thought I decided that I needed to go and talk to Galadriel right away. I couldn't put it off any longer.

After an agonising half hour, I had wrestled myself out of the fancy gown and into a more casual dress. I quickly ran my hairbrush through what hair I could, since most of it was still tied up in the braids Raina had put in. Slipping on the slippers that I had worn for the feast, which I had decided were my favourites, I gave my head a brisk shake and headed out the door.

In hindsight, the head shake was completely pointless and rather stupid of me, since all it did was make me dizzy. I was lucky to not fall off of the bridge between my flet and the main platform, and the cool autumn air was more than sufficient for pulling me from my hungover drowsiness. After a momentary stumble and a pause to compose myself to the best of my abilities, I carried on my way to Galadriel's lodgings.

Though the nerves were quickly building in the pit of my stomach, I forced myself not to turn around. I needed to get this over with. I just hoped that I wouldn't be bothering her.

"Your heart is weary. You seek the comfort of my counsel, do you not? Come, let us discuss your troubles."

I came to a sudden halt halfway down the stairs, looking around for the voice that I had come to know and recognise. It took me only a split second to realise that the voice was in my head. I would be surprised if I ever got used to that.

My feet covered the distance more eagerly now, and soon I was facing the large doors to the Lord and Lady's chambers. On either side of the doors stood an elf, silent and watchful. Uncomfortably, I approached the entrance, watching them both carefully for any signs of how to proceed. Finally, they glanced at me and nodded in greeting. They gave me no instructions, and I could only assume that they had been told of my coming. Taking a deep breath, I pushed open one of the doors and slipped into the large room, letting the door close silently behind me.

My eyes immediately traveled to the back of the room, where I had first seen Celeborn and Galadriel, but the two seats were vacant, as was the rest of the room. Shuffling awkwardly, I let my gaze wander about the room. The early afternoon sunlight drifted through the large windows, illuminating the room. Though the room seemed empty at first, I quickly noticed that the walls were decorated with thousands of intricate carvings, many of them depicting trees, animals, and flowing streams. Unconsciously, I made my way over to the wall nearest to where I stood and began to trace the patterns with my fingers, admiring their delicacy.

"Good afternoon, Tawariell."

I spun around suddenly, caught off guard by the silent entrance of the Lady of Light. My cheeks blushing bright pink, I hastily straightened out my dress and looked up at Galadriel, who was smiling warmly, amused.

"Please, call my Christa," I said after a moment of gathering my thoughts. "Though I might dress the part, I don't think that I could ever really feel enough like an elf to be deserving of an elvish name," I laughed, hoping that my comment wouldn't insult the elf before me.

Galadriel simply smiled wider and extended her hand. "Come, let us discuss that which weighs heavy on your heart."

Accepting her hand, I followed her towards the back of the room, and into a separate, smaller space. Taking a seat at the small table situated in the center of the room, I crossed my hands nervously on top of the table and took a deep breath to calm my mind. Galadriel sat down across from me, and though I knew that I had no reason to feel intimidated by the elf, I couldn't help but feel like I was at an interrogation of sorts.

"You have been meaning to speak with me for many days, and yet you have not approached me until this day. What is it that troubles you so, my child?" Galadriel gazed across the table towards me. It was evident in her eyes that she cared about me and wished to help, and I could feel her presence in my mind like a warm embrace. I wondered why she was questioning me when she could have easily searched my mind for answers herself. As I sat contemplating her question, I found that I didn't even know exactly how to respond.

"I want to return home, back to my own world. But I know that there is nothing that can be done about it, unless the Valar choose to send me back." But that's not likely to happen. I tried not to whimper as I spoke the only reply that I could come up with. I hated sounding like such a child, but thankfully Galadriel did not seem to mind.

"Only time will tell when and if you should return to your world, Christa," she replied, her voice soothing. I looked up to see her smiling reassuringly. "Until then, you must learn to accept and embrace all that is given to you. You are changing, my child, and yet you hide these changes behind a veil. They are buried at the back of your mind, and you do your best to keep the covered."

I looked away as she shifted the conversation to my changing body, unable to hold eye contact with her as she searched my mind for answers.

"I do not want to change," I whispered, my voice becoming hoarse with emotion. As I fought to hold back tears, I felt Galadriel lay a hand upon mine and give them a gentle squeeze. Looking back up, I caught her gaze and broke down, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks.

"What's happening to me? Why is this happening to me?" I sobbed, closing my eyes, embarrassed and afraid. What if I was never able to go home? What if the Valar chose to keep me here forever? Thinking back to the brief conversation that I had had with them through the Mirror, I tried to remember what they had said to me. There had to be an answer hidden in their words somewhere. One of them, Estë, had told me that she had wished to bring me here, to get rid of my sadness. Hah. Yeah right. It's not working so well, is it?

"I am afraid that I do not have the answers to your questions, Christa. Though I feel a change within your soul. By means beyond my knowledge, I believe that you are becoming immortal."

My eyes snapped back up to meet hers, my vision blurry. "Do you mean to say that I am becoming an… elf?" I asked, incredulously. Surely I had misunderstood something here. Galadriel's eyes hid nothing from me, nor did they imply that I was wrong in my guess.

"I find it hard to understand myself. Never before have I seen such a thing," she paused, watching my reaction. I couldn't form words anymore. I could only sit and listen to the elf speaking in front of me, telling me the impossible. "You have changed before my very eyes, before your own eyes, Christa. You carried many scars into this world, and yet they have now faded. I have seen this in your mind. I wish that I was able to console you, yet I have no answers for you."

I found myself staring dumbly at her across the table, the tears frozen on my face. I had stopped sobbing and now sat silently on the chair, unable to move, to speak, to think. I simply sat there, frozen in shock and confusion. After several long moments, I felt Galadriel leave my mind, and this brought me back. Blinking slowly, I felt an eerie calm fall over me like a blanket as my eyes focused once again on the blonde figure before me. Galadriel offered me a reassuring smile, though I was unable to return the gesture.

Pushing the chair away from the table, I silently rose to my feet and excused myself, my voice sounding unusually calm considering the news I had just received. As she nodded in understanding, I turned on my heel and made my way out of the small room, my feet carrying me quickly through the large chamber and through the set of double doors. I strode past the guards and started on my way back up towards my own lodgings. I wasn't sure what to think of this anymore. I now knew for certain that there was absolutely nothing that I nor anyone I knew could do for me. I would just have to wait it out, deal with whatever this world chose to throw at me.

I'm here because I was sad, and yet I feel more depressed now than I have for a very long time. Shaking my head slowly as I climbed the last few stairs up to my platform, I lowered my chin and started at my feet. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I did not even notice my friend standing at the top of the stairs. He called out to me, concern etched in his voice, but my mind passed right over him, not even registering that he was talking to me. I strode right by him and into my flet, closing the door behind me.

Collapsing into the chair at the corner of my room, I stared out through the window at the golden canopy. I'm here because Estë wanted to see me happy. I ran the thought through my head one final time, and that's when I felt as though I had solved a riddle of sorts. When I find happiness, I'll get to go home. A soft knocking on my door made me turn my attention away from the window and back across the room towards the sound. Clearing my throat, I pushed my thoughts away.

"Come in," I called softly, hoping that my emotions wouldn't show through my voice. I need to be positive from now on. This moping around certainly won't help if that is indeed how I'm going to be getting home.

With a gentle creek, the doorknob turned and the door swung open slowly. I looked up to meet Haldir's worried gaze and smiled in welcome. He returned the smile, though I could tell that he knew that I was most definitely wearing mine for show. As his eyes turned towards last night's dress that lay sprawled across my bed, I felt my cheeks go pink.

"Thank you, for making sure I got back here all right last night," I started. Haldir nodded and made his way further into the room, taking the seat beside mine.

"It was no trouble at all. Though you objected quite strongly to leaving at first, you very nearly fell asleep before you were even in your bed," he chuckled and I blushed deeper. Damn my pale skin.

"How are you feeling?" Haldir raised his brows in question. For a moment I felt my jaw tense, unsure as to how I should answer, but after a brief moment I realised that he was talking about how much wine I had consumed the night before.

"Strangely enough, I feel fine. I slept until at least noon, and at first I had an awful headache. But it seems to have vanished," I replied, finding that my friend wore an equally surprised expression as I did.

"I must say I'm quite impressed. You must have had enough wine to make an elf slightly off, and yet you have recovered remarkably well," he mused, a grin plastered on his face.

"'Eh, well, it was pretty bad this morning, like I said," I pointed out, feeling slightly uncomfortable now that I had been reminded of my presumed mortality. After what Galadriel had told me, I had no doubt that my quickly cured hangover was a result of my changing body.

"I take that to mean that you are well enough for your lessons, then?" Haldir asked with a grin, his eyes shining. Mirroring his enthusiasm, I nodded. Haldir quickly left me to change and as soon as I was dressed in my tunic and leggings, we headed down to the training field.

The next few days passed by uneventfully, the autumn chill seeming to become greater with each passing moon. On this particular morning, the grass was covered in a fine layer of frost which crunched beneath my shoes as a jogged around the city. Though I was still having a hard time coming to terms with Galadriel's words, I had learned that the only way that I was going to get through this was if I got used to my new body. And so today I was pushing my limits, seeing how far I could run. I had already made it twice around the city before my legs began to protest, and even so I was closing in on finishing the third lap. Though exhaustion was spreading over my body, my breathing was still fairly steady, as were my legs. After the third lap, I decided that I would see how long I could manage at a faster pace. Pushing myself to the very limit, I sped up, my legs carrying me across the grass. I made it to the marketplace before I had to stop, my lungs only now starting to become overwhelmed. Pulling up to a walk, I raised a hand to my brow and wiped away my hair that had become stuck to my forehead before tightening my loosened ponytail. Reaching down to my belt, I unscrewed my water skin and took a few sips, sighing as the cool liquid slid down my throat.

Not wanting to waste the morning away walking the rest of the way around the city, I decided to cut through the marketplace, despite my gross appearance. Fortunately, the place seemed fairly vacant, with only a few vendors starting to set up their shops for the day. Despite the elves never seeming to need much rest, I had discovered that they enjoyed spending their nights that they weren't attending feats in peaceful solitude.

It didn't take me too long to arrive back at my flet. Stripping from my sweaty clothes, I hopped straight into my bathtub as soon as the water had been heated up enough. As I scrubbed at my hair, I stared absent-mindedly down at my body. I had been trying so hard to see my body in a new light. It was a blessing, really, but I was only just starting to get over thinking of it as a curse. A reminder that my old body had been undesirable, and that I hadn't done anything to deserve it other than falling into a strange new world.

"No, that's not true," I said aloud, interrupting my negative thoughts. "I did work for this body. I've been running every day, and eating very well." Though I did suppose that I owed much of my stamina to my changing body, there was no denying that I had successfully motivated myself to live a more active lifestyle. "When I do get home, whenever that turns out to be, there's no way that I'm letting myself ruin my body like that again." I mused as I rinsed my hair.

I was soon finished bathing and had dressed myself in one of the many dresses that had accumulated in my closet. Even though most of them had been given to me by the Lady Galadriel, I was proud to say that I had spent some of my hard-earned gold having one made myself. I was especially fond of that dress, and if the elves were anything like the girls that I had gone to high school with, I was sure that I would have been made fun of for outfit repeating. I wore that dress at least once a week.

I had picked out the fabric myself, in exactly the shade of royal blue that had been my favourite colour for many years. It had been the colour that I had chosen for my horse, Eclipse. Anything that I could find in his colour, I would snatch up. I had grown accustomed to the long sleeves of the elven gowns, and despite their cumbersome nature, I had opted to add them to the dress' design for the sole purpose of fitting in. I had not, however, taken a particular liking to the restrictiveness of the tight bodices that most of my dresses had. Therefore, this dress was simply designed with a sort of padded system that worked like a sports bra, and made me feel much less constricted.

Now, dressed in my gown, I pulled on my cloak and headed out the door to grab some breakfast. I had arranged to meet with Haldir at the Hall, and afterwards we were going to head out for a walk. I had resolved to try and learn as much as possible about the current goings on around Middle Earth, and hoped that my friend knew enough to give me an idea of when exactly the Fellowship would be setting out.

I practically skipped down the stairs, eager to see Haldir and fill my stomach. I couldn't deny that it was certainly nice to be feeling energetic, even after my hard workout not even an hour ago. Only think of the positives. I smiled to myself as I reached the bottom of the staircase and made my way to the Hall at a brisk walk. It didn't take me long to arrive at the Hall, and as I pulled off my hood, I spotted Haldir and made my way over to where he was sitting with his Orophin and a couple of other Galadhrim. Though I had been introduced to them before, there were so many of them that I found it impossible to remember each of their names.

I greeted the small gathering with a nod and a smile as I passed them. I returned a few moments later with my breakfast and took the seat next to Haldir, which he pulled out for me.

"Thanks," I grinned as I sat down, setting my food down on the table in front of me. "Good morning," I greeted the four men in my company, before diving in to my breakfast. As I ate, the men around me chatted about life at the border, and I assumed that the two whom I couldn't remember their names had just returned from the border. It's probably weird to everyone else that I spend most of my time here with men. I mused as I ate. Well, male elves, I guess. Wasn't there a made-up name for them? Ellyn or something along those lines? I shook my head subconsciously. I never liked that word. Men they are.

"Christa?"

My thoughts were interrupted and I turned to look at Haldir, who was eyeing me curiously. "Sorry, what was that? I was in my own little world there," I chuckled at his amused expression.

"My brother had asked how your training is going," Haldir responded with a small grin. I bit my lip in embarrassment and turned to look at Orophin, who was also grinning.

"Sorry," I laughed. "It's going great, Haldir's taught me a lot." I said, not really sure what else to say on the subject. It wasn't like there was a whole lot to say. I wasn't even using a weapon or anything, just my hands.

"That's wonderful. I never expected my brother to be training a mortal woman," he teased, turning towards Haldir.

"Yes, well, she is not ordinary woman. Quite peculiar, if you ask me," Haldir took a playful jab at me and I snorted out of habit as if to solidify his claim, my embarrassment forgotten.

The rest of breakfast passed by quickly, and soon the Hall had all but emptied out, leaving us few stragglers behind. After cleaning away our dishes, Orophin and the two other elves headed off in their own directions, while Haldir and I set out for our walk.

Since the Enderi feast, Haldir had made no further indications of his feelings for me. Other than my clear memory of him kissing my forehead that night, I had found no evidence that supported Rúmil's claim. And so we had continued to act as nothing more than close friends, to my immense relief.

"You seem especially cheerful these past few days," Haldir spoke up as we strolled down the gravel path.

"Well, I've always loved autumn. It was always my favourite season back home, but here it is even more magnificent than anything I ever could have imagined," I spoke the first words that came to mind and smiled as the breeze ruffled my cloak, prompting me to pull my cloak up tighter around my neck.

"I do not think that that is the only reason," the Marchwarden glanced over at me, one eyebrow raised and a small grin at his lips.

"What do you mean?" I questioned him, sincerely perplexed by his comment.

"You seem far less troubled than you were a mere week ago. Yesterday you put in more effort than I thought imaginable at your training, and you seem to glow. To radiate joy," Haldir mused, his eyes straying back to the forest before us.

"What?" I chuckled nervously, though I knew full well why he would think that. It was true, after all. I had decided to try and be less negative about my life. I had accepted that all I could to was wait for this whole mess to work itself out, and no matter how terrifying it turned out to be, or how long it was going to take, being all sad and down about it wasn't going to get me home any faster. It would slow me down, I reminded myself for the millionth time.

"Never mind," Haldir said with a small grin. I shifted my gaze to his face, giving him a curious look before deciding that it was probably best to simply drop the topic.

"What prompted you to ride so far from Caras Galadhon, anyways?" he asked me suddenly, and I felt myself tense slightly at his random question.

"I, um… I needed to some time to think. About… things," I sputtered, instantly regretting opening my mouth. I turned back to face my friend again, this time to be met with a concerned look. "It's nothing to worry about," I said, though I couldn't help but feel like I was lying. It's a pretty big deal, you know, that Galadriel says I'm turning into a freaking elf. My answer obviously did not satisfy him, and though he did not press the question, I could tell that it was bothering him that I would hide anything from him.

What the Hell… Would it really hurt anything if I told him? I really did want to share my troubles with him. He had been my friend through everything so far, and had never left my side or done anything but support me.

"Haldir, I… I have something that I need to tell you," I said slowly, hoping that I wasn't about to break some huge rule that the Valar had simply forgotten to tell me about.

"You may tell me anything, Christa," Haldir replied, his brow creasing in concern.

"It's probably best if we found somewhere more, uh, secluded. I don't want anyone but you hearing what I have to say," I whispered, not wanting to be heard, though I knew that it was likely that every elf in the vicinity had heard my words. Haldir nodded in understanding and led me away from the bustle of the main street. We weaved through the trees and eventually came upon a small clearing. A small stream meandered along the forest floor, and we took a seat on a large, smooth boulder along its bank. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Haldir. If he was truly to be trusted, he would believe me.

"At the beginning of the week, I went to visit with the Lady Galadriel. I needed to discuss something… urgent with her," I started before pausing, nervous. Here goes nothing. "I've changed since I got here. A lot. And, well, Galadriel seems to think that, somehow, I'm becoming an elf," I spat out the last few words quickly, afraid that I would be too scared to speak them. My eyes never left his as I waited nervously for his response. There, I said it. No turning back now. You've done it, Christa. You're going to be shunned and called a freak. Or worse… What if-

"How is this possible?"

I stared at him in silence, too scared to speak. It wasn't until I felt Haldir take my hands in his own that I was able to answer him.

"I don't know," I murmured, suddenly feeling as though I was about to cry. But I didn't. I held the tears back, and the urge was gone within a moment. Haldir squeezed my hands and leaned in closer, our foreheads nearly touching.

"And this is why you fled?" He spoke gently, his eyes never leaving mine. It was then that I noticed that they were filled with concern. With… hurt? I nodded, feeling even more ashamed this time around than I had when he had first scolded me for my reckless behaviour.

"I did not mean to ride so far… I was so caught up in my emotions that I didn't realise how far I had gone. By the time I realised how much trouble I was in, it was already too late and-"I faltered as the memories came flashing back. The sharp pain in my side, the horrible sound of the orcs laughing and jeering as they prepared to murder me…

"Christa, do not go back to dark thoughts. It is in the past, you are safe now," Haldir said reassuringly, pulling my hands closer. Overcome with emotions, both happy and sad, I found myself leaning forward into the comfort of his chest. Closing my eyes, I let the tears roll down my cheeks. Only this time, they were tears of happiness. For I knew now, beyond any doubt, that I had found a true friend in Haldir.

Hey guys! Sorry about the wait for this chapter. I had very good intentions on getting this written and posted over a week ago, but life has its way of ruining those good intentions. I had a hard week. We had to say good bye to our family dog last Sunday, and on top of that, my pony pulled up lame at our horse show this past Sunday. He's doing much better now, but two less than stellar Sundays had me feeling pretty down. Thankfully though, I managed to sit down tonight and finish what I had started days ago, and I was determined to finish it today! Hope you all enjoyed it! As always, remember to review! Many thanks to all of my fallowers and faithful reviewers! You all make my day!

-Eru