Before I get to the chapter, I just want to say that I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I almost gave up on this fic a couple of times, as I just wasn't feeling it. But after watching my first Castle episode in months earlier this week, I felt that I just had to go on. Thanks so much for your reviews and patience! I hope to have more chapters up within the next couple of weeks.

This Chapter takes place during "Den of Thieves." Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle.

"I went to his funeral, held his wife's hand. And now you're telling me he's alive and working for Racine? That he murdered Finch?"

Ryan watched as his partner paced up and down the length of the bullpen, in obvious anguish. Javier Esposito was the most loyal person he knew, and he could only imagine how difficult it was for him to imagine that one of the people he had trusted most was a traitor to both himself and the Force.

Beckett, ever the negotiator, kept her tone calm and factual as she responded. "It was the perfect disappearance act. He knew that everyone would think that Racine had killed him and dumped his body somewhere.

Every line of Esposito's body was tense. "Nah, I don't see how he could to it, to the badge, to me? I would've taken a bullet for him."

This last sentence caused Ryan's stomach to clench unexpectedly, awash with various emotions. He hated the idea of Esposito taking a bullet for anyone, himself included. But he also knew that, if given the opportunity, the Latino would. Ryan couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy for Esposito's obvious distress over Ike Thornton. Of course he knew that he wasn't the other man's first partner, but he had never thought that Esposito had ever had the kind of relationship they had with anyone else. He certainly hadn't.

It wasn't often that Ryan let people in as fully as he had let Esposito into his life, and it turns out he didn't know as much about the other man as he thought he did.

As Captain walked towards the tense group, Kevin wondered vaguely if there was anything else Esposito wasn't telling him.

"That guy was outta line back there."

Esposito looked at his partner, and sighed. He appreciated the fact that Ryan looked genuinely concerned and pissed on his behalf, he really did, but he just wanted to stop thinking about it. "I'd be asking the same questions if I was in his shoes."

Ryan nodded, and fixed the Latino with a sincere stare. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Can I? Esposito couldn't quite hush the little voice in the back of his head. Ever since their run in with Finn Rourke and the Westies, it had been blatantly obvious to Esposito that Ryan was hiding something from him. In their line of work it was necessary for them to trust each other, to know about anything that might potentially impact the job. And right now, after the last couple of days he was having, Esposito was not in the mood to be lied to. He decided a deflection was the safest route to take.

"I put all that stuff behind me, bro. The only thing I have left from back then is this right here." He pulled out his keychain, showing Ryan the corny and yet meaningful 54th key chain. "Back in the day, when I was in the 54th, everybody used to carry one of these with 'em. It's like a sense of pride, you know?"

Ryan nodded, but he was looking at the keychain with more than general interest. "Ike have one of those?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Let me see it." Ryan held the keychain up to the picture of the weird symbol on the murder board. In that moment, the rest of Esposito's world came crashing down around his ears. "54th. It must have broken off when he was struggling with Finch."

"It was him," Esposito swallowed thickly.

"You know," Beckett (when did she get here?) said softly, "no one would blame you if you stepped off this case."

"No." Esposito shook his head. "Partner or not, he killed a man."

"Hey, I thought you were going for a walk!"

Esposito sighed, and turned around to find Ryan jogging towards him. He didn't have time for this right now. "What do you want?"

He forced down the wave of guilt he felt just as fast as Ryan stifled the hurt look that filtered across his face. "Thornton's going after the ledger tonight, isn't he?"

"The man's been on the run for three years, separated from his family. I gotta help the guy, so don't try and stop me," Esposito said rather harshly, reaching for his car door.

"I'm not," Ryan said, starting forward again. "I'm going with you."

Esposito stopped him with a stare. "No, you're not."

Ryan looked confused and blurted, "I'm your partner. That means I'm with you 'til the wheels fall off."

Esposito almost flinched as his own words were flung back in his face. Any other day, it might have worked. But right now… Right now he was fighting just to keep his head above water, to keep from drowning in the various emotions he could feel swimming through his head.

"I know, bro. But… I'm gonna need you to get my back if things go wrong, alright?" The excuse sounded lame even to his own ears.

Kevin looked like he was going to argue, but thought better of it at the last second. Instead, he visibly deflated, looking down as he scuffed the toe of his shoe on the garage floor. "Okay."

"Thanks." With that, Javier got in the car, and didn't even look back as he drove away.