Chapter 18:

The dining hall was busier than normal, and we actually had to wait in a short line before we were able to get our supper. We had no trouble finding a table despite the populated area, since Rúmil and Orophin were already seated and waiting for us to join them. Orophin pulled out a seat for me as we neared, and I smiled my thanks as I sat my plate down before sitting down beside him. I slung my quiver and bow across the back of my chair as Haldir sat down on my other side, nodding to both of his brothers in greeting.

"You have all been back for quite a while now. When do you head back to the borders?" I asked no one in particular, after a few minutes of small talk. I was genuinely curious as to why the three brothers had been able to spend so much time back in Caras Galadhon. It had briefly been a worry to me that Haldir would be returning before I was to leave with the Fellowship, but I remembered distinctly that Haldir had been present to escort the company to the Silverlode.

"Orophin and I are to return tomorrow, actually, for three weeks," Rúmil answered first, after swallowing the food that he had in his mouth. My heart sank at his words, realising that I wouldn't get a chance to tell them about my leaving. I won't get to say goodbye. "You will miss me," Rúmil added, noticing my expression.

I quickly worked to cover up my frown. "Of course, I will miss you both," I replied with a half-hearted smile.

"I'm afraid that I, too, have been asked to return to the border," Haldir spoke up then, and my heart stopped.

"When?" I asked, a little bit too quickly for my own comfort.

"Two days from now," Haldir replied, the corners of his lips lifting in a masked smile at my clear disappointment. I blushed as I searched for the words to was no way that I was leaving without telling Haldir, it just couldn't happen that way. My thoughts swirled and I thought for a brief moment that I might pass out, right there at the table, but thankfully the sensation passed.

"She will miss you more, brother," Orophin said, cheekily, and Rúmil laughed at his brother's comment. I was too worried about what I was going to do to react to his playful remark, and watched without seeing as Haldir raised an eyebrow at his younger brothers.

"When will you be back?" I asked quietly, clinging desperately to some small hope that he would be back before I would have to leave, and that my memory of the books had not failed me.

"I will only be gone for 10 days. The Lady Galadriel has insisted that I return to escort our guests from the city," Haldir answered me with a reassuring smile, and I instantly felt my mind clear. My shoulders sagged, and I found myself able to smile genuinely at his reply.

"That's good," I said, trying not to make my relief too obvious. "I always get bored without anyone to spend time with." My response made Haldir smile wider, and I noticed Rúmil grinning also. Satisfied that they all saw my worry as nothing more than affection for Haldir, I turned back to my supper and finished it quietly

Despite my brief high, I was soon back down to where I had been a few moments ago. Nothing had changed, except now I really had to decided what I was going to do, and now the timeframe that I had to tell Haldir that I was leaving had narrowed significantly.

"When exactly will the Fellowship be leaving?" I asked, breaking the peaceful silence that had followed my earlier words. Haldir looked up from his own food and raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"The 16th was the date that I was given," he answered me. "Why?"

"Oh, I was just curious," I lied with a smile. Haldir's eyebrow rose higher and he tilted his head, not satisfied with my reasoning. Trying not to panic, I figured now was a good a time as any to tell him that I had gotten acquainted with them.

"Well, I've gotten to know them, actually. I was just wondering when they would be leaving." My last words were hard to say, as I couldn't help but picture myself leaving the Goldenwood in their company, leaving Haldir behind.

To my surprised, Haldir didn't seem shocked to hear that I had done the opposite of what he had told me to do. I offered him a sheepish smile and shrugged as he looked at me.

"I cannot say that I am surprised. You are far too curious, Christa," Haldir said, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"I can't argue with that, Haldir," I replied with a smile, relieved that he was not mad at me. It was weird, actually. He had seemed so adamant that I leave the Fellowship alone, but then again, perhaps he had known from that moment that I would not listen to him. Either way, it didn't matter.

"They are a fascinating ensemble. I can't say as I blame you, mellon," Rúmil said to me then, and turned to meet his gaze. "Two men, an elf, four hobbits, and a… dwarf," he mused. A could hear the distaste on his tongue as he spoke the last word, and I resisted the urge to chuckle. I didn't need to get into the discussion of elves and dwarves right now.

"They are on an errand of secrecy," Orophin said, "and the fact that the Lady Galadriel has given them leave to stay in our city gives me reason to believe that it must be an errand of great importance."

"Have you not felt the darkness that they have brought with them?" Haldir spoke up, and I turned back to him, surprised at the dark tone he had taken on so suddenly. Rúmil and Orophin met their older brother's gaze with silence, waiting for an explanation.

"I have not noticed anything out of the ordinary," I offered, wondering if this was really an appropriate topic for dinner table discussion. If Haldir had anything to say in response that my input, he didn't voice it. Instead, he continued to survey his brothers.

"One of the halflings carries great evil with him," he said carefully, and I watched as Rúmil and Orophin worked out Haldir's words in their heads. "Word has reached my ears that they travel to Mordor," he added, voice barely a whisper.

"Mordor?" Orophin repeated incredulously, being careful to whisper. Haldir nodded, and I watched as the realisation sank into both of the younger elves' eyes.

"The Ring of Power has been found, then?" Rúmil said, eyes narrowed. "This is ill news."

"It is my belief that they go to destroy it," Haldir supplied then, and I raised my eyebrows, pretending to also seem concerned at the news.

"That is no small task," Orophin said, doubtfully. "They seem an odd company for such a quest."

"I would have to agree with you, brother. But they come from Imladris, which means that this quest is of Lord Elrond's doing, and I am in no position to question his decisions."

"Lord Elrond would not sanction such a venture unless there were no other options," Rúmil said, brows creased.

"What other options could there have been? Destroying it is the only solution, and only a fool would be so bold as to offer up their life to complete such a task."

"Brave fools," I said, feeling left out of the conversation. Haldir nodded.

"I do not hold much hope for them," he said, pursing his lips. Rúmil and Orophin nodded in sombre agreement.

The rest of dinner passed silently, the thought of the fate of the Ring of Power weighing heavy on everyone's mind. Well, everyone except mine. I had my own worries to think about. I had lost my appetite, thanks to the less than cheerful conversation, and had taken to pushing around what remained of my pashed potatoes with my fork. From just a quick glance around the table, it was obvious that no one was really in the mood for chit chat anymore, and I decided that I was finished with my supper.

"There's always hope," I offered with a small smile as I placed my utensils across my plate. Pushing my seat out, I stood up and slung my quiver and bow over my shoulder before collecting my dishes. "I'd best be going. I have a few personal things to attend to this evening." I didn't really have anything planned, but I wanted some alone time, and I knew that none of the men would question such an excuse.

The three brothers looked pensive as I stood up, and Haldir met my gaze. "Perhaps you are right to have hope. Have a good night, Christa," he said, a smile growing as he looked up at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Haldir," I said, smiling back. "Safe travels, Rúmil, Orophin." I said, turning my gaze to the younger brothers. The two silver heads nodded in thanks, hesitant smiles upon their normally jovial faces. It hit me than that this would be the last time that I saw them, and I suddenly felt frozen in place. I didn't want to leave without a proper good bye, but what could I say without giving it away?

Nothing. Swallowing, I looked at their faces one last time, before nodding quickly in farewell, and turning on my heels to leave. Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes, but I did not let them fall. I couldn't cry, not yet.

Dropping my dishes off, I made my way quickly from the crowded dinner hall and climbed the stairs to my flet, my breathing ragged from my emotions. The silver lanterns twinkled in my watery vision, and unbidden a tear rolled down my cheek. Sniffling in frustration, I dashed up the rest of the stairs and walked as quickly as I could to my flet.

Closing the door behind me quietly with the last remaining bit of my self control, I discarded my things and sank down onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling as the lanterns turned on, illuminating the room in a soft blue glow as I let myself go. Clutching one of my pillows to my chest, I sobbed into it, too tired to hold back my emotions any longer.

After a few moments of quiet crying, my hands clenched into fists and I punched the bed angrily, mad at myself for crying again.

"I don't understand!" I wailed, not caring if anyone in any of the nearby flets could hear me. "How is this supposed to be making me any happier?"

Why did Irmo have to come along into my life and turn it upside down? I had never wished for any of this to be real, and yet here I was, literally living a dream. A dream that I had been trapped in far too long. The problem wasn't getting home anymore. I knew that I could do that, if I could just make it to the end of the story. The problem was that I wasn't sure if I wanted to go home at all. In my head, I knew that I needed to, but my heart was begging me to stay.

"It's too confusing," I sobbed, crumpling back down into the sheets, closing my eyes and hugging the pillow tight again. I knew that I had to go home, but I didn't want to leave my friends. I don't want to leave Haldir…

"All will be right in the end, dear child," Galadriel's voice soothed. I was not alarmed by the intrusion into my most personal thoughts, and for once, not annoyed by her persistent reassurances. "Go to sleep."

As if bidden by the voice in my head, my body relaxed and I loosened my death grip on the pillow, my head sinking in to one of the many others that were scattered about my bed. Eyelids drooping, I took a deep breath to steady my breathing, sobbing gently as I closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep, my mind soothed by the invisible presence of the Lady of Light.

I woke in the morning to the sound of the breeze rustling the mallorn leaves against my window. Rolling over, I knocked several of my pillows off the bed as I stretched. The bed sheets were wadded up on the other side of the bed, where I had thrown them the morning before. Rubbing my eyes, I remembered the strange experience the night before, and was thankful that it hadn't been a very cold night. Pulling myself out of bed, I groggily dressed in my running pants and cotton undershirt before pulling my hair into a ponytail.

Fresh air proved to be just the thing that I needed to bring me back to life. My feet padded lightly along the gravel path, my breathing measured as I jogged my way around the city. Watching as my breath clouded and whipped past my face, I smiled, truly understanding for once why some people enjoyed getting up early to exercise.

The city was quiet, with most of the elves still resting or minding to their own matters inside of their flets. The shops at ground level were deserted, and the only elves that I noticed during my first loops around were a couple of younger elves training with their swords at the range. I stopped to watch there for a few moments, intrigued by their dance. I had seen very little combat during my stay in Caras Galadhon, and suspected that sword training usually happened somewhere farther from the city centre. You'll be seeing plenty of it soon enough.

I continued on after a couple of minutes, having caught my breath. As I jogged away from the range, I decided to turn off onto one of the paths that I had only used a couple of times. I generally stuck to the main paths, only opting the run on the others when I ran during the busier times of day, but I felt like a change of scenery would do me well.

The trees shimmered in the early morning sunlight, golden leaves dancing in the breeze. Breathing in the fresh scent of the forest that I had grown so fond of, I felt perfectly at ease. It had always struck me as odd just how quiet Lothlórien was. I had seen very few animals in the woods, save for the songbirds that populated the branches, and the occasional squirrel as it scampered along the forest floor. As I listened now, however, I realised just how lively the Goldenwood actually was. The wind sang through the grey branches of the mallorn trees, and even the dew drops as they rolled off of the leaves seemed like music to my ears. I could not see it, but I thought that I heard a woodpecker knocking on a nearby tree trunk as I jogged past.

I was so lost as I listened to the sounds of the forest waking up, that I didn't notice that I was no longer alone. I ran into the back of the person before me, gasping as my breathing hitched and I slammed to a halt. For Pete's sake, not again.

I looked up as the figure turned around to see who had assaulted him. To my surprise, my eyes met those of Rúmil, and I let out a breath of relief.

"Rúmil," I said with a sheepish smile, glad that I had not embarrassed myself in front of a total stranger once again. "Sorry about that, I was not paying attention," I chuckled, panting as I tried to steady my breath.

"Good morning, Christa," Rúmil laughed, and I realised that he was probably on his way to leave for the border.

"I won't keep you if you are in a hurry," I said quickly between breaths, not wanting him to feel obligated to apologize.

"Actually, I am quite happy to see you," he said, sobering up. Though his smile remained, I furrowed my brows, sensing that he had something important to tell me. "You are leaving," he said simply, eyes never leaving mine. I stared back, dumbfounded.

"What?" How could he have guessed? Was I that obvious?

"You will be leaving with the Fellowship," he said with a sad smile as I dropped my eyes, unable to hold his gaze as I tried to figure out what to say.

"Rúmil, I.."

"I have said nothing to Haldir," Rúmil said, laying a hand on my shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"How did you know?" I asked quietly, suddenly feeling very ashamed that I had not told him.

"I suspected it yesterday at dinner. You were not yourself, and then when you heard that we would be returning to the borders, I saw it in your eyes that you were deeply troubled. Do not feel guilty, Christa," he said, placing a hand on my cheek and tilting my chin up gently so that I was looking at him once again. Leaning in, he touched his forehead to my own, and I closed my eyes briefly, worried that my emotions would win over again.

"I'm going to miss you so much," I murmured, sniffling as his silver hair tickled my nose. "You were the first person who made me feel welcome here, even though you didn't speak my language," I said with a smile as I opened my eyes, remembering the day I had first spoken with him. Rúmil chuckled as he held my gaze.

"I'm glad that I was able to be a friend to you, Christa," he said, and I felt myself begin to break down as his smile melted away my fears.

"Tell Orophin that I will miss him greatly, as well," I said, my voice breaking as I fought back a sob. Rúmil pulled away and nodded.

"Tell Haldir," he said, his hand falling back to my shoulder. "Before he leaves."

I took a deep breath, knowing that Rúmil knew better than I did what would make it easiest for Haldir. Nodding my head slowly, I silently promised that I would tell him.

Moving his hand to the back of my head, Rúmil leaned in again and kissed the top of my head softly, lingering for a moment before straightening.

"Be safe, Christa," he said softly as he took a step backwards.

Fighting back the tears, I nodded again. "You too, Rúmil."

He smiled broadly then, his eyes holding the sadness that I knew he was doing his best to hide. "You never did learn to pronounce it correctly."

"Pronounce what?" I said, choking back my tears.

"My name," he said with a soft chuckle. I couldn't help but smile then, vowing that if I ever did get the chance to see my friend again, I would be able to say his name correctly.

Our final goodbye was silent. No more words were needed, and I was thankful for that. If I had needed to speak again, I knew that my walls would shatter and I would break down, and I didn't want Rúmil to see me like that. We placed our hands over our hearts simultaneously, bowing our heads.

I did not look up until I was sure that Rúmil had left, the sound of his footsteps vanishing into the forest. Only then did the tears come, silently rolling down my cheeks.

I turned around a while later, wiping the tears from my face gently so that I wouldn't get puffy eyes. Sniffling to stop my nose from running, I started off slowly back towards the city centre, in no rush to leave the solitude that I had found.

I stared at my shadow in the grass, watching as the seconds ticked by and my silhouette stretched farther and farther across the clearing. It was late afternoon, and the range was all but deserted, which I found somewhat odd. It was normally fairly busy, especially at this time of the day, but today there were only a couple of other elves there. My eyes wandered from my shadow to watch them practice as I strung my bow, fingers working methodically after so much practice.

"Good afternoon, Lady Christa," Legolas' voice interrupted my absent thoughts and I turned to face him with a warm smile.

"Legolas," I nodded in welcome as I finished with my bow.

"Are you ready for our contest?" he said, taking his already strung bow from his shoulder. He met my eyes with a smile, one eyebrow raised. A challenge. I laughed.

"No, I've never done this before. A contest, I mean."

"I would have hoped that you had done this before," he said with a chuckle, lifting his bow and gesturing to the range and the targets at the other side of the clearing. I chuckled nervously and followed Legolas across the range.

"Shall we start here?" he asked me as we came to a stop. Oh, right. It's not natural for a human to be able to see that far. We were much closer to the targets than I normally practiced, but I wasn't about to argue about that. I knew I wasn't going to be able to come anywhere close to the skills of the Woodland prince, but I was definitely not going to give up any chance that I had to do as good as I possibly could.

"Sure, sounds good," I replied, surveying the target.

"The first to miss their target is the loser," Legolas explained with a friendly smirk. If it had been Haldir, I would have rolled my eyes, but I didn't want to seem rude to my new friend, so instead I just ignored it. "Ten paces backwards after each arrow."

"Shall I go first?" I asked, drawing an arrow from my quiver and nocking it. Legolas nodded and I exhaled before taking a deep breath.

Raising my bow, I looked down the shaft of the arrow, taking my time. This was not practice, and I could take as long as I wished to take my shot, because Haldir wasn't here to tell me otherwise. It didn't take me long before I was sure of my aim, and let my arrow fly. It landed with a satisfying thud at the centre of the target, and I couldn't help but grin.

"You have a good eye," Legolas said as he quickly drew an arrow and took aim. The arrow was flying a split second later, and hit the target dead centre. No surprise there.

"Thank you," I said as we each took ten steps back. Bidding my hands to stop trembling from the thrill of hitting the bulls-eye, I drew my second arrow and stared at the target. As soon as my fingers had stilled, I loosened them and watched with glee as my arrow again hit the middle centre of the target.

It continued in much the same manner for a while, and with each shot, I found myself able to relax and just enjoy the game. After five or six rounds, I was no longer worried about making a good impression on the elf. At about seventy paces backwards, I started to struggle.

Willing myself to take my time, I focused all of my attention on the tiny red dot at the far end of the range. The distance was farther away than I was used to practicing at, and the last two shots had just narrowly missed straying from the target. I took several slow, deep breaths before I even raised my bow, taking care to run through everything that Haldir had taught me. It seemed like an age had passed before I finally felt confident with my shot, and let my arrow fly.

I let out the breath that I had been holding as I watched my arrow catch the out ring of the target, and couldn't help but laugh in relief.

"I'm not out yet," I chuckled, knowing that I wasn't going to last much longer.

"No, it would seem you are not," he agreed as he took his shot. I couldn't resist being amazed as his arrow hit dead centre of the target again.

"Do you ever miss?" I asked, grinning as we stepped backwards again, counting out our paces.

"Of course," he replied. "But not often," he added. I laughed, cheeks hurting from smiling.

"So humble," I said sarcastically as I lined up my next shot. Unsurprisingly, my preparation was in vain and the arrow went sailing past the wooden target and into the trees.

"Damn!" I said, dropping my bow into the grass and puffing my cheeks in a childish display of disappointment. "You still have to take your shot," I said to the elf, who was watching me with an amused smirk.

Legolas nodded before quickly nocking an arrow. A split second later, it was embedded in the target's innermost ring.

"At least you missed the bulls-eye," I pointed out, and Legolas chuckled, giving me a pat on the back.

"I must admit that you have a very keen eye," he said, looking down at me curiously. I shrugged and offered him a smile. "Haldir has taught you well."

"Yes, he definitely has. I couldn't even hold a bow correctly three months ago," I laughed, watching as Legolas' eye's widened in surprise.

"It only took you three months to learn?"

Oops. Again, I gave a small shrug. "Like I said, Haldir was an excellent instructor. And I practiced nearly every day."

"For a mortal to have such a level of skill is extraordinary," he said. "I was surprised enough that you made it as far as you did, but learning in three months is quite… baffling."

If you knew that I wasn't exactly a mortal anymore, you probably wouldn't be so impressed. I knew that the elves in Lothlórien learned the art faster than I had, but I still took Legolas' words as a compliment.

"Thank you," I said after a moment, trying not to look too proud. "I'm still quite slow, I spent more time practicing my aim than my quickness."

"Perhaps that is why," Legolas said with a smile and a nod. His gaze then shifted and I watched his eyes as they followed something over my shoulder.

I turned as Haldir approached us, smiling curiously as he took in our strung bows. I waved as he neared, and the gestured dramatically to the area where I was standing.

"You missed," Haldir said with a smirk, not even letting me rub it in for a moment that I had hit that target at a record distance.

"Not the last time," I huffed, tempted to cross my arms. "I've never hit it from that far before."

"She did quite remarkably," Legolas supplied, nodding his head in greeting as the Marchwarden stopped in front of us.

"I was watching," Haldir said, smile widening then. He laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "Good job, Christa."

"Thanks," I grinned before turning to Legolas. "I really enjoyed that, Legolas. I had a lot of fun."

"As did I. If you ever wish for a companion for practicing, do not hesitate to ask me," the prince replied. Slinging his bow over his shoulder, he nodded his farewell to both me and Haldir before wandering off to retrieve his arrows.

"I see you are fairly well acquainted with Legolas," Haldir said to me once Legolas was a good distance away. Cocking an eyebrow, I looked up at him.

"I wouldn't say that. I've only known him for two weeks," I said with a chuckle. "He challenged me to a contest when I told him that I knew how to shoot."

"You held up very well," Haldir said, praising me again, squeezing my shoulders in congratulations. At the touch, my mood shifted, and my eyes dropped. Sensing that something was amiss, Haldir leaned in closer and loosened his grip on my shoulders. "Is everything all right, Christa?"

I hesitated, staring straight forward at his grey tunic. After a brief moment, I slowly shook my head, lifting my gaze back up to meet his. It was now or never. If I didn't tell Haldir about my situation today, there was a good chance that I wouldn't be able to tell him until the very day that I was going to have to leave him, and I didn't want to have to do that. I can't hold all of this inside of me anymore.

"Haldir, there's something that I need to tell you."

Yay! Another update!

I never intended on leaving you guys with a cliff-hanger, but I couple of the scenes in this chapter were thought-up as I wrote and I couldn't help but include them! The scene with Rúmil is actually so far one of my favourites that I've written for this story, and I hope that you guys like it as much as I do!

As always, let me know what you guys think! I didn't get all that many reviews for the last chapter, so I hope that I have no lost any of you because of the hiatus that I took over the Holidays!

I will try to update again soon! Thanks for reading, I hope that you enjoyed it.

-Eru