Prompt: 28 Days Later style zombie apocalypse? John is in his element but Sherlock thinks the whole thing is a bit of a nuisance.
...most of this ended up in A Brief Account anyway. There was a reason I originally just called it 'Yay, Crack!' (...Which would be that I am terrible at names and never thought I'd be owning up to it.)
Protocols
"Well that's not right," Sherlock says, and ducks behind John just in time to avoid a flailing arm.
John shoots the corpse trying haplessly to paw itself out of the bath. "It's not typical, no."
"Have I been spoiled?" Sherlock wonders. "All those years of cadavers staying still when I experimented on them?"
"No, that is the typical state of affairs," John assures him. "This is the aberration."
"Are you sure?" Sherlock says. "I hate to mention it, but I've just looked outside–"
"Oh my God," John says, darting past him and staring out of the window.
"It's not that bad," Sherlock says, more because he has the vague idea that he ought to say something comforting than because he has any idea why anybody would need comforting. "More of a nuisance, really, although I don't think we're going to be eating at China Dynasty again any time soon."
"I'm not upset about the zombies," John says. "I've just realised I've let my protocols lapse."
"Pardon?" Sherlock says. John translates it as: when did you start speaking Mycroft? I knew I should have put my foot down about the random kidnapping when I had the chance.
"It's a zombie apocalypse," John says cheerfully. "Don't tell me you haven't prepared for one?"
"... And you have?"
"Of course I have," John says. "But somehow I ended up using more bullets on people trying to kill you than on corpses coming back from the dead and got so used to that state of affairs that I didn't think to replace them."
"That is a pity," Sherlock says mildly. "You know there's something clawing at the door?"
"It's alright," John says. "I learnt other stuff in the army too. Where'd you put that sword from the Blind Banker case anyway?"