Hi everyone, I'm back! I decided to update early for you guys since you were all so patient while I was away on vacation. I'm still catching up on my Arrow and Olicity news. This week's episode is most definitely going to hurt. I'm mentally preparing myself now.

Thank you all for your comments. Please read and let me know what you think!

Chapter 18

"Damn it," Diggle cursed as Oliver smacked his ribs with the wooden staff he was holding.

Oliver grinned smugly. "I told you not to leave yourself open like that." They'd been training and sparring for a few hours. There had been a couple of strange deaths over the past week. The police reported that they appeared random but also violent. Oliver and Diggle wanted to be ready for anything as they looked into the occurrences.

Diggle shook his head at Oliver and grabbed a towel. "You are getting way too much enjoyment out of this."

"It's the little things in life."

"Right," Diggle snorted.

"Still at it?" Felicity questioned as she came down the stairs into the Foundry. "If you guys are going out tonight, you should probably take it easy."

"This is me taking it easy," Oliver replied, barely sparing her a glance, before laying a few powerful hits to the sparring dummy with his staff.

"Glad I'm not a criminal. Well, not anymore," she added and took a seat at her computer station. Felicity watched Oliver a moment longer. When it was clear that he was focused on beating the crap out of the inanimate object, she turned to face the monitors.

Felicity shouldn't have been surprised, since Oliver had been acting distant for an entire week now. Most of their interactions revolved around business, whether it was regarding QC or protecting the city. It seemed like Oliver went out of his way to avoid her otherwise. He no longer joined Felicity for meals. He was usually gone in the morning before she woke up and had yet to eat dinner at the loft before going to the Foundry.

Even simple touches had ceased. It seemed like Oliver went out of his way to avoid contact with her. Just the other day he'd gotten a few scrapes and had insisted on cleaning them up himself. When Felicity had put her hand on his arm to express that it was no trouble, he'd immediately pulled away from her. Oliver had always been reserved, but it was like he'd built another wall around himself. It left Felicity feeling confused and slightly on edge.

"Any other information provided by the police about those deaths?" Oliver asked.

"The victims weren't innocent. They had criminal records, but so far no obvious connections to each other."

"What about the performance enhancers?"

"Nothing new on that front either," Felicity answered. She'd tried tapping into QC security footage, but the exact recording she needed was missing. If they were going to find those drugs, they would have to investigate from a different angle. "But I do have a program combing through QC records and reports on the project to see if anything significant pops up. I'm also looking into the test subjects to see where they ended up. If those treatments were addictive, maybe one of them is responsible."

Oliver landed one last hit with his staff. "Good. I need addresses. Even if nothing suspicious comes up, I need to talk to them. Find out what they know."

"Okay. I'll have them for you tomorrow."

"Good. Tonight we have to focus on these murders. I need you to pull up any traffic or security cameras in the area. If you can hack into the police reports again, maybe we can get a few more clues."

"I'll work on it, but I can't tonight."

"Why?"

"Ray invited me to dinner."

It was the first time Oliver truly looked at her since she'd entered the Foundry. "Oh."

Felicity glanced at Diggle, who also appeared surprised. "Not dinner dinner like a date. It's a work dinner. He invited a few people from the department. Sort of like a thank you for all the hard work we've been doing. But since dinner is technically only a meal you can eat at night, I need the night off." Felicity watched Oliver carefully. As delighted as she was to receive an invitation to spend time with her colleagues outside of work, another part of her wanted Oliver to ask her to stay. "Is that okay?"

Oliver was silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then: "Do what you want."

Hiding her disappointment at his flippant response, Felicity forced a smile. "Okay. The program will be running tonight, so don't touch this computer." She grabbed her purse and stood to leave.

"Diggle, can you go with her?"

"Actually, that won't be necessary," Felicity informed them. "Ray offered me a ride tonight."

"Ray can't protect you if something goes wrong."

"It's a work dinner, Oliver. It's not some top-secret spy mission."

"Cooper is still out there," Oliver stressed.

"Yes, I know. I'm well aware of that," Felicity replied, trying desperately to hold onto her patience. "But he has yet to show his face or come after me outright. So I think I can handle one night alone."

Oliver approached her. His tall, intimidating form loomed over her. "One chance is all it takes, Felicity."

Felicity refused to back down. "Oliver, I'm going to this dinner with Ray. Alone." When he looked like he was about to start arguing with her again, she retorted, "It's my life. It's my choice."

Oliver watched as Felicity left the Foundry. When he heard the door at the top of the stairs close behind her, he absentmindedly snapped the staff in his hands. This was not the plan he'd had in mind tonight. Sighing in frustration, Oliver rubbed a hand over his face.

"You can't say the girl doesn't have any fire," Diggle commented, impressed.

"Diggle, I need you to go to the crime scenes. Canvas the area. Ask around about the victims," Oliver instructed while grabbing his suit.

"Where are you going to be?" Diggle already knew the answer but felt the need to ask anyway. When Oliver remained silent, he patted his back. "I'll take care of it. Do what you gotta do, man."

The restaurant where Ray had taken Felicity was one of the most expensive in Starling. Unless you were someone rich and important, it could take weeks just to get on the waiting list for a reservation. Another perk was the wall of windows that let its customers get one of the best views of the city. As Oliver would expect, Ray made sure his guests were at the best table with the most breathtaking view.

It worked in Oliver's favor, because he could clearly see Felicity from his perch on a rooftop across the street. He was crouched low in the shadows. Every few minutes his eyes would do a sweep of the street and the surrounding buildings. Felicity was probably right that Cooper wouldn't show his face in a crowded area, but Oliver wasn't willing to take any chances.

After finishing his most recent scan of the surroundings, his eyes returned to the beautiful, smiling blonde. Felicity wore a blue dress that clung to her curves in all of the best ways. Her ponytail from earlier was gone and instead only the top part of her hair was pulled back. Of the six people present, Felicity was the only woman at the table. It didn't seem to make a difference; Felicity held her own with these men. Every time she spoke she managed to elicit smiles and laughter in typical Felicity fashion. It didn't matter where she was or who she was with, Felicity always managed to light up a room.

Currently, she was talking with the IT director. Ray sat on her other side, and it wasn't long before he called her attention back to him. Oliver's entire body felt stiff, like one of those stone gargoyles that were found on the rooftops of Starling's historical buildings. The only difference was that his blood ran hot rather than cold, especially when Ray would lean in really close to speak to her. Or when Ray's eyes would sneak glances at Felicity when she wasn't looking.

As much as it irked him, Oliver couldn't necessarily blame Ray. He knew firsthand what it was like to be mesmerized by Felicity. To feel the electricity in his veins when she was near. This past week had been a whole new form of torture as he tried to distance himself from her. He told himself that it had to be this way. That it was for her own good. That no matter what he felt for her, his number one priority was to keep her safe. The fresh scar on Felicity's shoulder was proof that he'd failed in that endeavor. Oliver wouldn't fail her again.

He watched as they finished their dinner. When their dessert was brought out, Ray held up his glass. He must've been making a toast to the team. Felicity smiled with the rest of the group as they clinked their glasses. Oliver could tell that she was happy, and it warmed his own heart. Felicity hadn't told him everything about her years with Brother Eye, but he knew that she'd never felt like a part of a true team. That it was difficult for her to have a life outside of them and accomplishments she could call her own. It made Oliver all the more pleased with his decision to have her work at QC in addition to helping with his mission as The Arrow. Felicity deserved it, and he wanted her to have it all.

Oliver shifted in his spot when he noticed Felicity close her eyes and smile after having a bite of her chocolate cake. Ray started laughing and said something to her. Felicity opened her eyes and started laughing along with him. Their exchange looked easy and lighthearted-so unlike the exchange he'd had with her earlier. Ray then cut into his own dessert and held the fork out to her. Felicity appeared surprised for a moment but let him direct it toward her mouth. The simple yet intimate gesture made Oliver feel like someone stabbed him through the chest and twisted the knife. He stood up and turned his back to them in an attempt to squelch the hot wave of jealousy that consumed him. He was being irrational and ridiculous. Oliver had no claim on Felicity. Isn't this what he'd wanted to happen when he pushed her away? To make her forget about him and the connection that was growing harder and harder to ignore?

Get a grip, he ordered to himself. Oliver was so lost in his own muddled thoughts that he almost didn't hear the alarm nearby go off. It took a couple of seconds to get his emotions back in check. When he peered over the edge of the building, he saw three figures dressed in black at the bottom. They were leaving the bank with sacks in their hands. It was the first time Oliver was relieved to see illegal activity. It was exactly the distraction he needed to let off some steam.

"...so I told the guy if he didn't stop trying to force it, he was going to blow the whole system and catch the lab on fire," Ray said as he held the door open for Felicity. They were in the lobby and making their way out of the building.

"What happened?"

"He didn't listen, the system exploded and the lab burned down to the ground. Luckily, no one was hurt."

"Oh my God," Felicity laughed. She put her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry. It's not funny, but it kinda is."

Ray chuckled along with her. "It definitely wasn't at the time, but I find that minor mishap hilarious now."

"That mishap was a little more than 'minor,'" Felicity pointed out.

"The great inventors never achieved success without making a few mistakes along the way."

"Obviously," she joked. Once outside, the smile on Felicity's face morphed into a frown. There were at least three police cars a little ways down across the street. A crowd had started to gather around. "I wonder what happened."

"There was a robbery at the bank," the young valet attendant answered.

"Was anyone hurt?" Ray asked, concerned.

"No one but the robbers. The Arrow stopped them before they could get away." The young man's voice was filled with awe and excitement.

Felicity froze in her tracks. "The Arrow was here?"

The attendant nodded eagerly, clearly busting at the seams to tell the story. "He took them down in seconds and then strung them up and left them dangling for the cops to find."

"I'm sure it wasn't seconds," Ray cut in, looking deep in thought. "That would be physically impossible and mathematically improbable. He probably got it done in five minutes."

"It was seconds, man. I swear."

"Again, highly unlikely." Ray, grinning patiently at the awestruck adolescent, held his hand out for his car keys.

Felicity's eyes automatically scanned the rooftops, but it was too dark to see anything. She was so distracted that she almost missed Ray holding her door open for her. "Thank you," Felicity said absently and got inside the sleek, black sports car. Her mind was whirling. It could've been a coincidence that Oliver made it in time to stop the robbery, but that was a stretch. Oliver was supposed to be in The Glades tonight with Diggle investigating the string of murders.

"Felicity," Ray called to her.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay? You kind of disappeared on me there."

"Oh, sorry," the blonde apologized. "What were you saying?"

"There's this amazing jazz cafe just around the corner. I was wondering if you wanted to stop in for a bit. They have the most amazing cappuccinos. I think you'd really enjoy it."

"That sounds really nice, Ray, but do you mind if I take a rain check? I've got an appointment early tomorrow morning. I shouldn't get to bed too late." Felicity felt horrible for lying to Ray, especially when he'd been so nice to her all night, but there was no way she'd be able to focus on him with Oliver on her mind.

"Oh, of course."

Minutes later they were pulling up in front of the apartment building. Felicity stayed seated as Ray came around to open her door. He always had to be the perfect gentleman. She took his hand and let him guide her out. "Thank you so much for tonight. I really had a great time."

"It was my pleasure. You're an important part of the team, Felicity." He gestured to the building. "Would you like me to walk you up?"

"Oh, no. I'm fine. But thank you." Felicity gave him a small smile and was about to leave when she felt his hand on hers, halting her. "Ray?"

"Felicity, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Sure, what is it?" She was acutely aware of him still holding her hand.

"I was wondering if you would like to do this again sometime. Dinner, I mean. Not with the team. Just with me."

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Are you asking me on a date?"

"Uh, yes," he confirmed with wide eyes. "I most definitely am. To be honest, I've wanted to ask you for a while now. I've never met anyone like you. But we work together, and I was afraid it would be weird. I try to keep my work relationships platonic. Then again, you're a consultant and not a full-time employee. So it's not like it would be that weird." He took a much-needed breath. "Right. Anyway...what do you think?"

Felicity looked down at their joined hands. Ray was a great guy. Felicity truly admired all that he'd accomplished even before she'd met him. From her first day at QC, Ray made her feel welcomed and treated her with respect. His mind was absolutely brilliant, and the fact that he looked like a Disney prince didn't hurt either. On paper, he was the perfect guy. There shouldn't have been a reason to say no. The heart, however, was completely different from the mind. And her heart already knew without a doubt who it wanted. It wouldn't be right to string Ray along.

Glancing up at the building, Felicity took a deep breath before looking at the handsome and hopeful man in front of her. "Ray, you're an amazing guy and I really am flattered but I can't."

"Why not?" he questioned. "Are you worried about what the people at the office will say? Because no one has to know."

"It's not that," she tentatively replied and gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "There's...there's someone else."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He reluctantly let go of her hand. "I didn't realize you were dating someone."

"I'm not but..." Felicity trailed off, unable to say it.

"But there's someone."

"Yes."

Ray stared at her for a moment, searching. It didn't take long for his clever mind to put the pieces together. "Oliver," he declared resolutely, if not with a tinge of sadness. Felicity silently nodded. "I understand."

"This isn't going to change anything, is it? We'll still be able to work together?" Felicity didn't want things to be weird between them. The thought of Cooper and how he'd turned on her after he didn't get his way entered her mind. Felicity fought against the panic threatening to take hold of her. Ray wasn't like that-or so she hoped.

He gave her a reassuring smile. "Of course we will." When Felicity pulled him in for a friendly hug, Ray whispered, "I hope Oliver realizes how lucky he is."

"Goodnight, Ray," she said with a small, relieved smile and drew back. Felicity made her way into the building. She exchanged pleasantries with the guys at the front desk, all the while trying to sort through the jumbled mess in her head.

Stepping off the elevator, Felicity pulled out her keys to unlock the front door. The apartment was dark except for the city lights beaming through the windows. Oliver stood in front of one with his arms folded, looking out. He was still in his Arrow suit but his hood had been pulled back, his mask gone.

Felicity, frowning, turned on the lights. "What are you doing in the dark?"

"Thinking."

"When did you get back? I thought you'd be out late with Diggle."

"Not too long ago."

"You didn't change?" When he didn't respond, Felicity put her purse on the table and proceeded to take off her coat. "Did anything interesting happen tonight? Find any leads on those murders? Put away some bad guys? Stop a bank robbery near the restaurant that I was at perhaps?" She joined him by the window. "I should probably be mad that you followed me despite what I said."

"You can be mad all you want, but I promised to keep you safe, Felicity. I won't apologize for that."

"And I wouldn't expect you to. The truth is it's nice to know there is at least one person looking out for me. I'm tired of being alone."

"I have to be alone," Oliver muttered, drawing her curious stare. "I can't lose anyone else."

"You don't mean that, Oliver. You still have your sister. You've got Tommy and Laurel. You've got Diggle, and you've got me," Felicity pointed out.

"Do I have you?" he gruffly replied. "Because as soon as this is all over, you're leaving."

"Do you want me to leave?" she murmured, both craving and fearing the answer.

"What I want doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

"I watched you tonight at the restaurant." He continued to look out the window, pensive. "You looked so happy and normal with everyone and...especially with Ray. You told me that you wanted a normal life, and you should get to have it. A normal life with a normal guy. It's what you deserve."

"What I deserve is to be given a choice. That's all I've ever wanted." She placed a hand on his arm. "What do you want, Oliver?"

"Felicity, I didn't just lose five years on the island. I lost the part of me that enjoyed being alive. Listening to music and meeting up with friends. Having dinner at home every night with a beautiful and intelligent woman while listening to her adorably babble about her day." Oliver finally met her gaze, and Felicity's breath caught in her throat. "It's the easy things. So when you ask me what I want and I let myself think about it, I hit a wall. I'm reminded of all the dark things I had to do and the hard choices that I had to make. That still stay with me. That make me question who I can trust. That I'm worthy of being with anyone."

"You can trust me," Felicity told him and stepped closer.

"Oh, I know I can. That's not the problem. It's me," Oliver revealed. "I don't trust myself." He moved away from the window. Away from her.

"Is that why you've been so distant this past week?"

"I became The Arrow not just for my father but to protect the ones I love. And five months ago, I failed. The Undertaking happened, and I was too late to stop it. I knew my mother was in danger then," he explained, becoming lost in the memory. "If I had gotten home five minutes earlier-just five minutes-I could've saved her. Instead, I found her on the living room floor with a hole in her chest. Merlyn was climbing out the window with the sword in his hand. He was going to leave her there alone to bleed out and die."

The pain on Oliver's face and the anguish in his voice made Felicity's eyes water. "Oliver."

"I didn't know whether to go after him or stay with her. I thought she was already dead, but then she looked over at me. It wasn't until I heard the crying that I knew Thea had come in and seen. My mom smiled then. One last smile for the both of us and she was gone. I tried to go after Merlyn but, as you know, he got away." Swallowing the lump in his throat, Oliver said, "This is my life, Felicity. The longer you're in it, the more dangerous it is for you."

"Oliver, my life was in danger long before I met you." She took a few steps towards him. "Cooper was getting suspicious and God only knows what he would've done to me if he'd learned of my plan. You took a chance on me, and you helped save me. You're still saving me. Every day. Knowing you has changed my life."

"I almost didn't save you last week," Oliver countered. The self-loathing was evident in his voice. "I'm the reason you were shot, Felicity."

"No, I am," Felicity retorted, marching right up to him. She refused to let him shoulder the blame. "You said that there was no choice to make when it came to taking out The Dodger. Well, letting him hurt you wasn't an option for me either. You're not the only one willing to sacrifice to protect the ones he loves."

"The night you were shot...you said something to me just before you fell asleep. You told me that you loved me."

Felicity's eyes widened in shock as a small gasp escaped her. She didn't remember saying that. It baffled her that she could forget. Suddenly, everything that had happened and Oliver's distant behavior since that night made sense.

Oliver went on, "Granted, you weren't yourself but-"

"I meant it," Felicity declared. Yes, it was slightly embarrassing to know that she'd admitted something so revealing while being totally out of it. But she wasn't going to hide it. She owed the truth to Oliver and herself.

"Felicity..." Oliver trailed off. His voice was strained as the battle to pull her close or push her away raged on inside of him. "I can't be with anyone. I have to be alone."

Felicity could see the struggle. "Who are you trying to convince more? Me or yourself?" Determined to tip the scale, she closed the gap between them and placed her hand on his cheek. His eyes closed for the briefest of moments at her touch.

"I can't give you normal, Felicity."

"I don't want normal, Oliver. I want you," Felicity whispered. "For the first time in my life, not being normal couldn't feel more right." When Oliver remained silent, Felicity sighed softly. "But if this isn't what you want, then tell me. We never have to speak of this again, and I'll walk away when this is all over."

"Felicity."

"I'm serious, Oliver." Her eyes were pleading. "You have to say it. You have to say that this isn't what you want. Say it's never going to happen between us. Say you could never love me-"

"Felicity," Oliver interrupted, unable to bear the pain in her voice. Unable to hold himself back a second longer. Taking her face in his hands, Oliver pulled her close and kissed her. He turned her away from the windows, so his back was to the city. It was a city he loved and would do anything to protect but, in this moment, the woman in front of him mattered more. A small gasp escaped Felicity as he drew back but not completely. Her eyes opened, and his lips continued to brush hers as he spoke. "Don't ask me to say that I don't love you."

Felicity looked up at Oliver. His stare was hesitant but intense. There was no missing the fire in his eyes. It set her heart ablaze and burned down to her very soul. Placing a hand on his chest, Felicity fisted his suit and pulled him back to her. Their mouths collided in a blazing passion that had been building up for weeks. Felicity gave herself over to it completely.

One of Oliver's hands slid down the side of her body, tracing the bend of her hip before winding around her back. He brought Felicity flush against him and nearly groaned at the contact. Her soft curves melded perfectly against his hard edges and still it wasn't enough. He walked her back until he had her up against one of the wooden beams.

Felicity's mouth opened in a gasp, and Oliver took the opportunity to tease her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. She moaned softly and opened her mouth wider, inviting him in completely. Seconds later her fingers were scaling the length of his chest as they undid the zipper of his suit. Pushing the material aside, Felicity's hands traced the strong ridges of his torso. She broke their kiss to take in the marks of his past. To some, Oliver's scars would've seemed like sad reminders of the tragedies he'd endured. To Felicity, they were signs of strength that forged Oliver into the amazing man she had come to love.

Oliver pulled his suit off the rest of the way as her fingers traced the scar along his collar bone. They ran down over the Bratva tattoo. His heart pulsed beneath her hand, and it brought a smile to her face. Felicity looked up to find Oliver watching her, mesmerized. Leaning forward, she placed a kiss on the streak of scars just beneath it. Oliver's hold on her hips tightened as she trailed up to his neck. Her arms wound around his neck to bring him closer. Felicity placed kisses along his jaw, shivering at the way his scruff felt against her tender lips.

His hand buried itself in her hair, guiding her lips back to his. Felicity was so lost in the kiss that she was vaguely aware of Oliver hoisting her up in his arms. Instinctively, her thighs gripped the sides of his hips, causing her dress to slide up higher. The pressure of Oliver's weight pinning her to the beam made her breath come in short gasps. Her eyes practically rolled into the back of her head when he buried his face in her neck, sucking on her pulse point. Felicity held him to her while running her fingers through his hair. Oliver slid the left strap of her dress off her shoulder and began to tease the skin there.

Felicity's breathless whisper of his name and the way she was grinding her hips against him nearly undid Oliver. He needed her more than any other woman in his life, and it wasn't just physically. As Felicity had proven moments before, Oliver didn't need to keep hiding. There was no need for a mask-not with her. Felicity accepted every part of him, and the peace it gave him was overwhelming.

Oliver was just about to carry Felicity toward the stairs and to his bedroom when his cell phone made a loud beeping sound. Normally, he would've ignored it but it was the kind of alert that only happened during emergencies. Fighting the electrified haze in his mind, Oliver reluctantly tore his lips away from Felicity's and dug in his pocket for his cell phone.

"What's the matter?" Felicity breathily questioned.

He read the alert on his phone and swore under his breath. "Brother Eye has targeted another company in Starling."

Before Felicity could say anything else, her phone went off in her purse. Her body immediately tensed. Slipping from Oliver's arms, Felicity quickly went to retrieve it.

"Did you get the same alert?"

"No." She shook her head. "This is an alert I designed for our facial recognition software." Felicity's expression conveyed both excitement and dread. "Oliver, I finally got a hit on Cooper..."