Chapter nine: What I did for love

Jackie let out a purr as she settled into her spot on the deck of the boat. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Granted, a little bit nippy, but she was on the ocean. Jack's suggestion for a vacation had been a wonderful idea. She hadn't realized how much that she actually needed some time to herself. The rest had done wonders for her, she felt so alive and refreshed.

Then, the Jaws theme on her cell phone went off. Jackie let out a groan as she reached for her cell phone under her lounge chair. "Yes Gwen?" She questioned. "Just so you know, you managed to freak out everyone on the boat."

Jackie, Gwen said slowly. I think you should come to the base.

Jackie's alert senses went up. "What's the matter? Is someone hurt? Dying?"

No, it's…Tosh. Gwen sighed. Yesterday, we had to defrost a soldier from 1918. He and Tosh, evidentially, they were in love. He had to go back to 1918 and…Tosh had to send him back.

Jackie's heart broke for Tosh. Was Tosh doomed to be single her whole life? "Oh God, no. Why didn't you guys call me sooner?"

Jack told us not to. Tosh is pretty broken up especially since Jack told her that Tommy is going to be shot, three weeks later, by firing squad, for cowardice.

"That idiot!" She shouted as she jumped out of her chair. All eyes went to her. "He seriously told her that?! How could he?"

Jackie, please calm down. Gwen begged. I'm not even supposed to be calling you. Jack gave strict orders that you were to have your week of rest.

"I'm glad you did. I'm on a boat a short distance from the Warf. I'll be there in a minute."

Jackie-

Jackie hung up on Gwen, reached for her bag, walked calmly to the edge of the boat and jumped off! People screamed in shock. The moment she hit the water, she created a bubble around her and power surged towards the shore. A short time later, she climbed out onto the deck; her clothes were damp, as was the outside of her purse, fortunately, nothing inside her purse was damaged or even wet, for that matter. Jackie hurried towards the alternate entrance and ran in, shoes squishing. Tosh came out, arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

She looked up before bumping into Jackie. "Oh, hi Jackie." Tosh attempted to smile. "You're all wet."

Jackie smiled sadly. "I'd come to see you." Tosh's brave smile faltered. "I'd heard about what you did and…I came to be here for you."

Tosh bit her lip for a long moment before stating quietly. "I saved the world, by sending the man I loved…to be killed. He's probably dead now and…he doesn't even remember me." Tosh's emotions invaded Jackie's senses; bring tears to her eyes as she embraced Tosh's pain. "Is this…what you felt when Jack left you?"

Jackie nodded her head as she reached out and hugged Tosh. "Yes and I'm sorry that you have to go through this."

"How did you cope?" She asked. "What got you through it?"

"I didn't at first." She admitted. "I refused to accept it, then, when I realized that he might be dead, I felt like hell. I was upset, angry and I despaired for a while. But then I realized that even though I had him for a short time, it was a wonderful blessing to have known him for that brief time period. And I wouldn't have traded it for anything else in the world."

"And then," Tosh pulled away and wiped her eyes. "he came back."

"I know." Jackie nodded. "And when I saw him…all I wanted to beat the living hell out of him. I still do at times, but that's his fault, it's his personality."

Tosh chuckled weakly and inhaled. "I'm going to go for a walk, clear my head."

Jackie nodded and turned to walk back into the hub. Gwen's head shot up in shock at her appearance. "What happened to you?"

Jackie shrugged. "I sensed something wrong so I came back. I saw Tosh, we talked for a bit."

"How is she?" Owen questioned as he pulled on his leather coat.

"She's hurting, really bad, her pain caused my eyes to water." Everyone shifted slightly in discomfort. "But, in the midst of all that pain, I felt such strength and determination that my knees could have buckled. Tosh is probably the kindest person on the face of this earth, so she's got the strongest heart of us all."

"Very nicely put." Jackie jumped as she realized Jack was behind her. He ran his eyes up and down her once. That look still managed to make her skin crawl. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on vacation."

"I got bored for a moment. Might want to check security cameras, I believe I psyched out a whole boatload of people by jumping into the Warf and vanishing."

Jack shrugged. "Possibly, but come into my office, I want to talk to you."

She shook her head. "No Jack." He arched his brow questioningly. "I heard about what you told Tosh about Tommy, how he dies in three weeks, killed by firing squad. I understand your reasons for telling her the truth, but for once…I wished you'd lied to her. Today's my last day and I really would like to come into work tomorrow without bearing a grudge towards you, but, if we talk, we're going to argue and I don't want that. So please, excuse me."

"Well, I am not excusing you." Jack said tightly.

She shook her head. "Sorry flyboy, but I'm leaving." She walked away from him, head lowered. "I really don't want to do this now."

After a brief pause, Jack suddenly snapped. "Get the hell back here!" Jackie quickened her pace and continued walking away from him. However, a firm hand on her shoulder spun her around. Jackie elbowed him, but he didn't release her. "We're settling this tonight."

"There is nothing to settle!" She snapped. "If you don't stop pushing me about, I swear I'm going to leave Torchwood."

Jack shook his head. "Over my dead body!"

"How many of dead bodies of yours are we talking about," she demanded. "considering you can't die?"

Jack's eyes sparked with irritation. "In my office." He jabbed his finger in the direction of his office. "Now!"

"And I told you, no!" at that emphatic 'no' jack grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder. "Put me down this instance!" she hit him on the back and he smacked her on her still wet backside! She let out an outraged shout. "Jack!" She shouted at Gwen. "Get Ianto! Now!"

"Do that and I'm firing you Gwen!" Jack snapped. "Jackie and I are going to settle this, so no one disturb us!"

"If you don't get Ianto," She shouted. "I'll shave you bald Gwen! Or at least make Tarzan stop it!"

Gwen exhaled. "I'm sorry Jackie, but, you two need to sort this out."

"Traitor! And you wonder why I gave you the Jaws theme for your ringtone!" Jack entered his office, slammed the door shut, locked it and began to pull the blinds down. "Will you put me down? I look like your latest kill!"

Jack ignored her and plopped her in the chair opposite his desk. She crossed one leg over the other and folded her hands across her chest. She was seriously regretting her choice of outfit. White shorts, white sneakers and a white and deep purple striped shirt.

Jack sat on the edge of his desk and stared down at her. "I want to talk to you about Tosh." That took the wind completely out of her sails. "Yes, I could have lied, but I promised myself that I'd avoid lying to you all unless it was necessary. But Tosh would have found out anyway, you know how she is with computers."

"At least," Jackie said in a far more calmer voice. "then she wouldn't have guilt on top of the pain that she feels."

He nodded solemnly. "I know. And I'm sorry for her but, it couldn't be helped Jackie. There was no possible way for us to do it without Tommy going back."

Jackie was silent for a moment. "I'm sorry if I'm angry, I can't help it, Tosh is my best friend. For once, Tosh finally had someone who loved her back and then she lost him. She also knows that she sent him back to his death Jack. It hurts to live with that."

"I know, but you survive and move on. You know that." Jackie leaned back in her chair and nodded in agreement. She'd survived, but she'd had anger to help her instead of guilt. "You look beautiful."

Jackie glanced up suspiciously at Jack. "Thank you but…that has nothing to do with the subject at hand."

"At the heart.' Jack corrected her as he held her gaze. "But it does, today made me realize something. I don't want to lose you."

Jackie began shaking her head. "Jack, don't."

"Hear me out."

"I'm not ready for this."

"You could be if you'd stop fighting me." He pointed out to her.

She snorted. "We've always fought on these types of issues Jack, remember?"

"You're just fighting the truth." He stated in a firm snap. "You've always been afraid Jackie to face up to the feelings inside you, even from day one." She rolled her eyes and looked away from him. "I know that your mother never loved you and your relationship with Gwen and your father has always been bumpy. I was the first person to return the love that you've been craving." She stood up, prepared to leave, but he grabbed a hold of her shoulders. "I shook up that love when I vanished, but as you know, I had no choice."

"What are you trying to say?" She demanded, her ire rising.

"You know exactly what I'm trying to say. I still love you." He confessed firmly, without even blinking.

"Get your hands off me!" She stated as she tried pulling away. "I'm with Ianto!"

"Jackie, stop using him as an excuse." He gripped her shoulders. "You never lie, that's one of your virtues, so tell me this. Are you still in love with me?"

"I said," she snapped as she began fighting him. She was not going to answer that question. "get your damn hands off me!"

Jack grabbed her around the shoulders as she beat her hands on his chest and shoulders. Jack pushed her against the desk, pinning her there before attempting to kiss her. Jackie fought hard, pushing him aside and broke for the door. Jack caught a hold of her waist and grabbed her, pulling her hard against his solid body.

She let out a screech as he gripped her wrists tightly, keeping her from hitting him. "Stop it Jack, please." Her frustration and furry made tears break from behind her eyes to flow down her cheeks.

She jerked her head to the side and closed her eyes as tears began trickling down her cheeks, finally releasing the few remainders of the hurt and pain of that her heart still held onto. Jack's grip relaxed on her hands and he gently stroked the tears from her cheeks.

Soon, her tears became quiet little gasps. Jack brought both of his arms under her shoulders in a hug, which she returned. After a few moments, Jack pulled away tilting her face upwards towards him. She noted his face, though dangerously close, didn't cause any part of her to clench in anger. He studied her face carefully before leaning forward to kiss her gently on the mouth.