Chapter ten: As time goes by

The moment Jack's lips touched hers, her heart stopped beating in her chest. The kiss stirred a bittersweet pain in her chest that intermingled with longing. She didn't know what to do at this moment in this situation. She just stood there, pressed against Jack's body and let him do with her as he wished. She realized to her horror that she still retained feelings towards Jack and they were strong enough to concern her with the depth of them. The kiss caused her heart to explode in a burst of passion that she hadn't felt in a long time. She'd missed his touch and kiss, she couldn't deny that.

After a few long moments of several heady kisses, Jack pulled away and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "I love you." she closed her eyes at his confession. "I never stopped loving you and I don't intend to stop loving you anytime soon."

She bit her lip before whispering to him. "Ianto."

"I don't care." Jack said firmly as he pulled her against him. "You belong with me." she didn't answer him; she closed her eyes as his lips caressed her forehead. "And you can't dispute it, because you know it."

It was in that moment that Jackie inhaled deeply before finally admitting to him what her heart and head already knew but refused to accept. "Maybe I do."

Jack exhaled and pulled her against him in a tight embrace. "You can't fight this anymore Jackie. I know you're with Ianto, but you need to tell him goodbye."

At those words, she pushed him away. She hated that he had this 'control' over her. He always lured her under this spell. She was even more agitated when she realized that she'd been clinging desperately to him, like one would cling to a rock in a storm.

"Stop it Jack." She said firmly. "No more."

"Why should I stop?" He demanded as she turned away from him and smoothed her hair back into place. "You just admitted that you belonged with me."

"I didn't say that," she attempted to keep her tone even and controlled, but she was rattled. "I said maybe and in answer to why you should stop, it's very simple. Because I'm with Ianto." He snorted and rolled his eyes. "And until…I've spoken to him…I'm still his girl."

"Jackie," he said in exasperation. "come on, what just happened-

"Jack," she reminded him. "when Ianto kissed me, I told you directly. I owe him the same courtesy. I need to talk to Ianto about what just happened between us. I'm going to tell him that I need some time." When Jack looked too smug and comfortable, she added. "But you know me better to think that I'd just drop Ianto like this," she snapped her fingers. "and come running back to you at the drop of the hat!"

"Jackie." He demanded, placing his hands on his hips. "Will you please stop doing this to us? We're wasting time!"

"We can't be wasting time, because I need time!" She shook her head. "I need time to think."

"Think about what?" He demanded. "There is nothing to think about! All your options are obvious and right in front of you."

"I can't just write off Ianto like this." She stated. "It's not fair to him. I loved you once and judging by my actions I might hold some affection for you, but I've loved Ianto to! He's a good man, kind, wonderful, patient and you know it! You," she exhaled as she admitted. "are trouble Jack Harkness and you know that as well, so don't you dare deny it! It would be stupid of me to even consider allowing you back into my life so easily."

"Easily? We've been fighting each other like daleks and cybermen since I've come back!" He frowned and reflected on her words for a moment. "Wait a second. Are you letting me back in your life?"

She inhaled as she admitted. "I am considering it Jack." Jack grinned brightly. "But as for it being a romantic relationship, that's another story Jack. I can't tell you that it could ever amount to that yet." She shifted uncomfortably. "I mean, it's obvious we still have some…unresolved emotions. I wish to take some time and seal them off properly. That is all."

"You know it's a romantic relationship, just admit it." He said as he stepped towards her. "The emotions aren't unresolved. They're what you feel for me deep down in your heart and you're not going to get rid of them so easily."

"And what makes you think that these feelings are grounded? Emotions are fickle things." she demanded, hands on her hips.

Jack looked upwards and she did as he did. "You seem to be giving me a pretty clear indication."

Then, she heard that she'd unintentionally turned on the music again. 'It is you, I have loved' from Shrek was playing on the speakers. She closed her eyes and bit out. "That means nothing." She switched the music to 'You could drive a person crazy' by Bernadette Peters.

"I love the way your mind turns on music," he said with a grin. "it really lets me know what's going on inside your head that you just can't admit to me."

She stepped away from him. "Jack, my brain works in ridiculous ways. I really can't be held accountable for what it does at times." The song switched back to that stupid Shrek song. "See? It's completely scrambled."

"I say that the true emotions keep surfacing. Do you still love me?" He questioned her again. "You never answered me."

She bit her lip. "It would be unfair for me to answer that question while I'm still with Ianto." She groaned. "How am I going to explain this to him when I can't even explain it to myself?"

"I'll let you have tonight to think it over."

Jackie smiled sarcastically. "Thank you for that." she stepped towards the door. "Twenty-four hours to sort out a mad scramble of emotions that could impact my whole life."

"I want an answer tomorrow though."

She paused and turned towards him, her hand on the doorknob. "I don't understand. An answer to what?"

He crossed his arms and stated clearly. "The question."

"Jack, I can't tell you if I still love you. And even if I did, twenty-four hours in an inadequate time to-

"I wasn't referring to that question Jackie, because I already know the answer to that question."

She exhaled and shook her head. "You're such an arrogant man."

"Confident." He inhaled before asking. "Jacqueline Cooper," at the sound of her name coming formally out of his mouth, her senses went up on alert. "will you marry me?"

She froze in place, unsure that she'd heard those words actually leave Jack's mouth. She stared at him in total shock, uncertain that she could move a muscle. Did…he actually just propose marriage to her? Was Jack that serious about her?

She licked her lips and asked him slowly. "Sorry….what, did you just say? I could have sworn-

"I asked," he said as he stepped towards her. "Jacqueline Cooper," he took her hands in his. "If you'd marry me."

She stared up at him in shock before asking in an astounded whisper. "Are you serious?" This was so not, how she wanted her marriage proposal to be! She wasn't even thinking coherently. "You want…me?"

"Completely. I want you," his piercing blue eyes burned into her soul as he placed his hands on her waist. "all of you, in my life and in my arms for as long as you'll have me. You know, I can't die, nor do I grow older so…I don't think I need to explain that whole situation to you. I've wasted too much time Jackie; it's time that we surrendered to the inevitable between us."

Jackie could only stare at him in shocked amazement. Then, she did the only thing she could do. She opened the door to Jack's office and ran out. Her brain pounded in her ear with every step that she made. The moment she made a short distance away, she stopped, sat down on the ground and sat there, her mind spinning in a mad circle.

She barely registered hands on her shoulders until she felt her chin being tilted upwards. She blinked as Jack kissed her lightly on the lips. He pulled away and smiled as he ran his hand down her shoulder. "Something for you to think about." And that said, he put his hands in his pocket and walked away.

Jackie glowered at him, sorely tempted to throw her wet shoes at him for messing her life up so much. She stood up to see Gwen staring at her in amazement. "Jackie, we need to talk."

Jackie shook her head firmly. "Not now Gwen."

"What about Ianto?" Jackie took off running. "Jackie, you can't just-

Jackie ran so fast, she thought she was flying. She needed to think. She needed to think alone and in private without people telling her what was best for her. She had a huge decision to make here and right now, her heart was compromised in so many ways. Jack had asked her to marry him. In that year she'd known Ianto, he hadn't brought up marriage once at all. However, she couldn't think about the past, she had to think about here and now, that's what mattered.

Jackie found herself in a beautiful church somewhere and once there, she bowed her head and prayed that she'd make the right decision. God would help her make up her heart and she'd pick the right man to love and marry. Whichever man she chose, it would always cause pain for the other man that she rejected.

Her phone rang and she flushed in embarrassment as all eyes went to her. She stood up and hurried out into the hall. The ringtone was 'As time goes by' from Casablanca. At that moment, Jackie wondered why'd she'd picked that ringtone for Ianto. A movie about two men in love with one woman. The woman was married to one, but her heart still belonged to her first love. In the end, she stayed with her husband, even though she still loved the other man. She exhaled deeply before answering the phone, certain that the conversation that would follow after would haunt her to her dying days.

sandysan2013: No threesome, but I assure you, Ianto definitely gets out of this with his dignity intact and a sweet possibility for the future.