Chapter eleven: Answers
"Ianto?" Her voice managed to come out cautious, even though she tried to sound casual.
Jackie? Hi. Ianto cleared his throat, a little nervously she noted. Oh, she hoped Jack hadn't called him! I've got a favor to ask of you.
"Ask away." She swallowed and cleared her throat. "Sorry, I'm in a church."
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
"No problem. What's up?"
Er, I bumped into a friend of mine. Her flat was broken into, Jackie almost fainted with relief. Jack hadn't called him and told him about the proposal. she and her son have nowhere to go.
"No husband?"
Uhh, dead, he passed away four years ago.
"And you wanted to know," Jackie began to sense something in Ianto, that was strange. He felt…different. She reached out and stretched deeper for his emotions and was astounded, almost relieved by what she felt. "if she could, use my flat for the night?"
Yes! That was it.
"Ianto," she asked careful to keep her voice free from suspicion. "how long have you known her?"
Ianto began to stutter slightly. She's, my, ex-girlfriend actually, from…before Lisa. He cleared his throat. I haven't seen her in a while.
"What's her name?"
Meryl. Meryl Summer and her son's name is Ian.
"Nice. Is she pretty?"
Ianto let out a groan. What does this have to do with anything Jackie?
"Forgive me if I'm wrong Ianto, but," she said slowly. "I believe…I'm sensing…interest, in her, on your part." Silence. "Am I…reading it wrong or…am I right?"
Ianto let out a mild curse as he groaned. You and those damn sensor. Jackie, listen, I'm so sorry
"Ianto," she said as she sank down into a chair. "it's alright, believe me. Sometimes… some thing's just…happen. It can't be helped."
He exhaled. God, I wish you were mad at me, that would make this easier.
"No, because," she bit her lip. "Jack, he…he kissed me tonight and," she let out a groan. "I am so very confused. Frankly, I still am somewhat."
Ianto was silent for a moment. I see. His voice was calm; she couldn't sense any malice on his part. I think that…everyone knew from the beginning that you two always were the perfect couple.
"Ianto, that was a long time ago and three days away." She sighed before asking what was on her head. "Ianto, what about us? That was real too. What did we do?"
We tried to capture something that wasn't real. What we shared in that year probably was real, but then, when we returned to the present….it was just over. Jackie bit her lip as she bobbed her head in agreement with him. I think that deep down…we both knew that it was over but we just didn't want to admit it.
"Maybe so." She bit her lip before saying quietly. "Jack asked me to marry him tonight."
You're kidding! Ianto laughed loudly, making her feel guilty. That's wonderful. He told me that he was going to marry you before April! I'm honestly happy for you two. When's the wedding?
"It's not happening." She said quietly. "I haven't accepted him."
But, you are going to marry him, aren't you? Ianto questioned her.
She exhaled deeply. "I don't know Ianto. I need to think on it."
Well, he still sounded a bit too cheerful. I'm glad I'm out of the picture now. You are in love with him still, aren't you?
Jackie bit her lip before answering. "I don't know Ianto. I honestly don't. I am going either accept or reject his proposal tomorrow."
Well, I'll let you think on it. But, one last favor from you Jackie. Will you make me the happiest man alive and break up with me?
Jackie shook her head as happy tears formed in her eyes. "I will Ianto. I love you, as a friend."
And I'll always love you as a friend as well, he added. If you or Jack need me for anything, I'll be there for the two of you.
"Thank you. Goodbye."
Jackie turned her phone off and stared at the blank screen in silence. Well, life often threw curves at you, but this curve almost derailed her. She and Ianto were clearly over and Jack was waiting for her tomorrow.
Her mind kept going back to the way that she and Jack had been. She tried to envision what they would have been like had Jack not vanished. Would they have been married by now? Judging by Jack's expression and the manner that they'd been courting together, it was very likely. She'd been happy then, very happy; she'd been a different woman then too. Now, she'd morphed into a woman that she didn't really like much.
She wanted to go back to the way things were. She missed the smiles, the laughter; she even missed the constant stream of flirting and teasing. Things were simple then, but time had literally rewritten every line of their lives. But, now was a chance to try to get everything back to the way they were. She could accept his proposal; no one said she had to marry him right away. But did she really want to spend the rest of her mortal life with an immortal man, no matter how much she loved him?
The following morning,
Jackie was fifteen minutes late as she came back into the base. Owen and Ianto weren't in yet; Gwen was taking a weekend trip to the country with Rhys. Tosh was the only one in the hub. She looked a bit more cheerful than she had yesterday.
"Good morning Jackie."
"Morning Tosh." Jackie set down the cake pan bearding a chocolate streusel coffee cake. "I come bringing food."
"Yummy." Tosh pulled off the lid and peered at it. "Oh wow. This must have taken you an hour."
Jackie shrugged out of her coat. "I couldn't sleep." Jack came out of his office and her face warmed as she sensed his presence. "I had a proposal on my mind and….I couldn't sleep."
"I hope it's nothing too serious." Tosh studied her. "You look lovely this morning. Are you going somewhere later?"
"Thank you Tosh, and yes, I do have to be somewhere." She had decided that for this occasion, her suit and fedora wouldn't serve. She actually wore a turquoise and white, summer dress with a dark, brown belt. When she put the dress on, she felt that 'tough girl' exterior melt completely away. She felt like herself again. Jackie finally turned and faced Jack as she cleared her throat. "Excuse me; I've got to talk to Jack for a minute."
"Right," Ianto said as he bustled into the room, pulling on his suit jacket. He actually looked cheerful for once. "sorry I'm late." Ianto noted her standing there and walked towards her with a smile. "Hey."
She returned his hug. "Hey yourself."
"Have you talked to Jack yet?" he whispered.
"I'm going to talk to him now." She whispered back.
"Oh," he released her, but pressed a kiss on her forehead. "I won't keep you."
She smiled uneasily before turning and walking towards Jack's office. He stood there, leaning against the side of his office. He studied her closely as she walked into the office and sat down in his chair, her heart pounding nervously in her chest.
"So," he questioned as he shut the door. "is that display between you and Ianto a bit of a clue for me?"
She exhaled before admitting. "Ianto broke up with me, last night, actually." Jack stepped towards her. "He…ran into an old friend of his, Meryl summer and…he's interested in her and her son."
"I see." Jack sat down on the edge of the desk. She could tell that he was trying to keep from showing that he was nervous, but he was. "That must have been quite a shock."
She hesitated before answering him honestly. "It was actually a relief."
Jack's brows rose in curiosity for a moment before asking the question that was burning a hole in his mind. "So, did you think about my proposal?"
She nodded her head. "Yes, I did."
"And…do you have an answer for me or are you going to run away from me again?"
"No, I'm not going to run away from you."
"I must say that as charming and fascinating your constant running away from me is," he said with a careless smile. "there comes a time Jackie when you've got to face up to things."
"I know and that's what I intend to do." She exhaled deeply and clasped her hands together. "I thought long and hard last night. I spent a good part of it praying a church, ironically enough, Ianto called me in the church and that's when we broke up." She looked up at as she stood up, her legs shaking in nervousness. "And you were right Jack. I do run and hide from my feelings because, expressing them is very difficult for me. I never, ever expected that two men would be interested in me. And…I never thought anyone would love me enough to even consider…proposing marriage to me. Torchwood was perfect because…no real commitment was needed in this life style. And you," she shook her head as tears gathered in her eyes. "were the last person, I was expecting to run into. You…changed my life in so many ways, sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better." She bit her lip before confessing. "You asked me yesterday, if I loved you and," warmth rushed from her toes to her head as she finally admitted the truth to him and herself. "yes, I do." Jack jumped off his desk and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I do still love you and I am so, very, very sorry for being such a fool all this time. I love you and…I would love to marry you Captain Jack Harkness."
Jack's face broke out into a huge grin. "Are you absolutely certain, Jackie?"
She nodded as she smiled. "Yes, I want to marry you… if you still want me after the way I've behaved towards you."
Jack lifted her off her feet and crushed her in his arms. "Don't ever think that I won't." she smiled and closed her eyes as she inhaled his nearness. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." She then gave Jack a good strong shove as he moved to kiss her. "No!"
He frowned in confusion. "What the-
She placed a finger on his mouth. "I want a proper proposal Jack Harkness."
Jack exhaled deeply in relief. "I see," he reached for her hands, running his thumb over her ring finger. "Jacqueline-
"Jack," she arched a brow. "down on one knee."
He laughed and kissed her forehead. "I see, you want the whole deal."
"Well," she stated with a smile. "it is my first and only proposal. Give me something to hold onto."
"Alright," he stood up. "wait just a minute." Jackie shook her head as Jack turned to his desk and began wracking through it "Don't go anywhere!"
He stood there calmly and watched as Jack knocked several items fell to the floor loudly. Then he let out a groan and snapped his fingers before walking over to his coat. After patting it, he exhaled and pulled his coat on. He then walked towards her. She smiled softly at him as he took her hands in his, bringing them up to press a kiss to her knuckles.
He exhaled deeply for a moment before looking up at her. "It's funny," he said with a shake of his head. "I told myself…I'd never, ever do this again. I swore…I'd spend my days alone. Than go through the heartache of losing someone I loved again, and then…you showed up in my life." against her will, Jackie felt tears start up in her eyes. "I saw you for the first time and," he shook his head in disbelief at himself. "I knew that I was going to fall in love with you and I didn't want to. I'd thought up so many ways to get rid of you. When you kept dodging the retcon, I tried to scare you off with the shooting lesson."
Jackie let out a short laugh and covered her mouth. "Oh Jack."
"But…. the moment I touched you…I wanted you more than anything I ever wanted in my life." He tilted his head slightly to the side. "Then, when we kissed for the first time, it took all of my will power not to grab you and kissed you senseless." That said, Jack knelt down on one knee, holding her hands firmly in his as he looked up at her. "I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. The moment we first kissed, I was determined to do anything within my power to keep you close to me. I know, I let you down and I will spend forever trying to make it up to you. I was so certain that I'd lost you forever until you let me kiss you last night." That memory caused Jackie to begin blushing. "I thought you'd melt in my arms from the sheer pleasure of just a simple kiss. However, life and marriage is created on more than just physical attraction. You…are my equal, my partner and my heart. In addition to being great friends, we share mutual thoughts, strength, determination, loyalty and understanding. We're compatible in our work and in our thoughts. I thought, several times, that I'd found the perfect woman, but I didn't know that the perfect woman was waiting for me centuries away." That said, Jack reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a ring box. Jackie began crying in earnest now. "Jacqueline Philomela Cooper, will you marry me?"
Jackie nodded her head as happiness broke over her in waves. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you Jack."
Jack let out a laugh as he slid the beautiful diamond ring on her finger. It was a purple diamond, in the shape of a heart, but, something about the band felt different. She didn't get a chance to ask him though because he'd gotten up off his feet and had enveloped her in a kiss. Jackie's heart soared as she wrapped her arms around his waist, reveling in the love that she'd been denying herself by her stupidity.
After a few moments, she pulled away from him. "Jack, let's talk for a bit." He shook his head and kissed her on the lips. She smiled and allowed it for a moment before pulling away from him. "I'm serious."
"You agreed to marry me," he pointed out with that cocky smile of his. "I'm entitled to at least kiss the woman I love for a few moments before talking." With that, he stole one more kiss before pulling away. "Alright," he wrapped his arms around her waist, smiling all the while as he sat back down into the chair she'd been sitting in earlier and drew her into his lap. "let's talk."
She smiled as she toyed with his coat collar. "Well, I have a few questions first to ask. You've been married a few times, so I'm assuming you have children all over the place. Could we even legally get married?"
"Yes." He nodded his head. "My last wife divorced me a few years ago."
"I remember you mentioning that. I'm never, ever divorcing you Jack Harkness. So, do we just stop simply seeing each other when it's obvious that you're not aging?"
"Can't we tackle that subject when we come to it? That's like…thirty to thirty-five years from now." Jack reached for her hand. "But Jackie…if you do fall in love with someone else, I won't stand in your way."
She smiled. "I'm honored that you'd think of me like that. But as you know Jack, God and the marriage vows clearly state, till death to us part and I'd honor my vows."
"And I'll honor mine to you as well."
As he ran his hand down her cheek, she admitted. "Then there's your non- existent belief in God. The bible clearly states that we're not to be unequally yoked."
Jack exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry Jackie, I can't believe in God. I haven't seen…anything to prove that He exists."
"I know Jack and I don't want you to fake a belief in God just to please me. I thought long and hard about this and I realized something. Jack, you're not going to die anytime soon. I am, so I don't know if there's any possibility that you could change your mind in the future. But I firmly believe that God caused our paths to cross for a reason, why, I don't know yet. But, I'm still going to marry you."
Jack hesitated. "Are you sure Jackie? This is a big decision and I don't want you to be damned to hell because you put aside your beliefs to marry me."
She shook her head. "Jack, all of us will have to face God for the sins we've committed. I will be judged from everything great like the blood on my hands to something as small as the pound I swiped from Gwen to the lie I told Ianto or the nasty thoughts I've had about Owen. I'm certain it's alright."
Jack exhaled. "I want you to talk to your pastor first."
"I did and…he said pretty much what I just said to you just now." Jack didn't look as convinced, but accepted it without question. "And that's…pretty much all I wanted to discuss with you."
"Alright, now that we've finished talking it through," Jack slapped his hands on her hips. "why don't we go get married?"
"What?" Her brows rose in giddy shock. "Right now? "Isn't that a little fast?"
"I asked you to marry me, you said yes, we've talked things out, and I see no reason for waiting." He frowned slightly. "Unless…you want one of those…really big, fancy, church weddings. But by my estimation, we really should have been married by now. We know each other well and we've resolved those stupid issues between us. There's nothing standing in our way now."
sandysan2013: He certainly would be insufferable. Don't worry, I've got great plans for Ianto and Meryl in the future and he won't be anybody's tea boy either!