Thank you for your support! This is the last chapter so enjoy!

Still don't own them

Jeff thought he was a reasonable man. He was a well known business man and ex-astronaut with a very good reputation. Before he had even gotten married, he had an idea about the sort of family life he dreamed about. He wanted to get married to a beautiful woman, which he did, he wanted to have beautiful children with her, which he did. He wanted them all to grow up liking each other being polite and respectful to each other and to others at all times and wanted them to be very masculine if they were boys and little princesses if they were girls.

'So why is it' he asked himself 'I am sat here watching one of my boys try and be a princess?' getting up he walked over to his bottle of scotch and poured himself a generous glass, he was going to need it if he was to make it through tonight.

"Jefferson Grant Tracy!" he winced as his Mother called him while he continued to pour his drink.

"Yes, Mother," he said wearily.

"Come here!" She said sharply.

"No, Mother…" before he had time to reply he found himself being dragged by his ear to a small window next to the front door. "Hey! Mom! What are you doing?" he said making sure he didn't spill his drink, if his Mother was going to start acting strange he was going to need every drop.

"Look," She said pointing outside.

"Look? At what?" he said trying to look out of the window, as it was dark .

"Your Son! He's conoodling with that girl again!"

Jeff sighed and looked at his Mother, "I am not getting involved with whatever scheme it is that you want me to do Mother,"

"Your sons are not abiding by what they were brought up believing,"

"Mother, let me tell you a little something, one: Lucy and I didn't bring them up with those sort of beliefs, two: I have two sons becoming men and two practical jokers!"

"Jeff,"

"Yes, Mother?"

"You have five sons all together!" she exclaimed.

"I know that! But I don't have a category for Virgil yet!"

"JEFFERSON!" she growled.

"Leave me alone Mother," Jeff said walking back into the lounge where Alan and Gordon had started playing Mario Kart on the Wii and were so into the game they were leaning against each other when they turned corners.

"Fine," She said after him, "if you won't say anything then I will!"

Jeff stopped dead in his tracks.

"Mother, just leave them be!" Jeff said.

"Hey Grandma!" Gordon shouted over to her.

"Yes dear?" she responded more calmly.

"Come and play me at Mario Kart!" he said.

"Are you not playing with Alan?" she asked.

"No, we were playing until he became a bad Looooser!" he said right into Alan's face.

"I think I am little bit too old to be playing computer games," she said as she had only got the hang of the microwave thingy in the kitchen.

"Awww come on, it will be fun!" Gordon said as he was already behind her pushing her to where Alan had been sitting moments before.

"Well, okay," she said sighing.

Gordon spent a few minutes explaining the different controls and rules.

"I hope you don't mind Grandma, but I want to play a game online," Gordon said.

"Okay, dear whatever you feel best," Grandma said uncertain of what he meant.

The game counted down on the screen 3, 2, 1.

"Okay Grandma, just do your best," Gordon said, "winning isn't everything!"

"Yes, thank you Gordon," she said.

"Whoa! You just knocked that one off the track!" Alan said starting to enjoy this idea, "Did you see that Gordon?"

"Yeah, I saw." Gordon said flatly as he couldn't seem to get up enough speed to keep up with everyone. "Hey that's not fair! I'm right behind and you have just got a bullet Grandma!"

"Yes, you have crashed into things that have slowed you down," she said while starting to lean as though she was really going to turn a corner.

"Oh for Fu….," Gordon started.

"No need for cursing, Gordon!" his Grandma said then putting her voice in the direction of Jeff, "He gets that from you, you know! I told you already to watch what you say around these boys! They are very impressionable!"

Jeff was just behind them and rolled his eyes, pinching his nose then decided it was time for another refill. He got up and went over to the cabinet and poured himself another generous helping.

"Jefferson! Remember what I was just saying about being impressionable?" she said not taking her eyes off the game.

"Well if I am still living with my sons when I'm sixty then they have my blessing to turn to drink!" he muttered under his breath, knowing full well that he depended on her completely, but had to say something in retaliation.

"YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I won!"

"NOWAY!" Gordon said, "How did you win?"

"Well Gordon, let me tell you something," she said grinning, "when I first my morning chores I have a little go, I have practising since last Christmas!" she said sounding very pleased with herself looking at Gordon who looked a little miffed, "never mind Gordon winning isn't everything!"

At that moment John and Katherine walked into the lounge.

"Hey what have we missed?" John asked.

"Hello you two," Jeff said.

"And where have you been?" Grandma asked inquisitively.

"Mother," Jeff said warningly.

"Well never mind," she said smiling, "I wonder where the food is?" she asked.

As if it was timed there was a knock at the door. Virgil went to answer it.

"Hey," said delivery guy. Virgil thought he looked like a dweeb very spotty and looked like he must have trouble breathing though his nose or something because his mouth was slightly ajar. All that's missing is the bit of dribble he though.

"Hey, can I help you?" asked Virgil.

"Oh my God, you're a guy?" delivery guy asked. "I thought you were a girl! Cause that's what you look like! A girl!" he said teasing.

"I have dressed up like this because…."

"Because you're a transvestite!" Delivery guy said just as Scott appeared behind Virgil. "Or is it cause your gay?"

"Hey who do you think you are talking to?" Scott asked clenching his fists, "Here's the money for the food," he said giving him the money in return for the food, "Now leave, you will not be getting a tip and I will be calling the take out house and complaining!"

The delivery guy wasn't listening he was still teasing Virgil.

"Hey Gay Boy! Want me to bend over and assume the position?" he asked.

"Don't let your mouth make cheques your ass can't cash!" with that Scott slammed the door in the delivery guys face and turned to the lounge, where everybody was stunned into silence looking in the direction of the door.

"Well," Scott said carrying on, "let's eat I'm starving!"

Please R&R