A/N: As promised, here is the final part to their date.
Usual thanks to all the relevant people. They know who they are.
Thank you all so much for your reviews, they honestly mean the world to me!
On with the story.
4. Should've Kissed You. Final Part
~UH~
BPOV
"You cold, Bells?" Jake asked tenderly, while tucking my body further under his arm, and simultaneously rubbing my arms with his hand, trying to keep me warm.
I wasn't sure what had caused him to nickname me 'Bells,' but whatever it was, I was glad for it. It made me feel closer to him. Being around him made me feel safe, safer than I'd felt in years, so this was a welcomed feeling.
"A little," I admitted, snuggling even further into his side.
It was then that his long, calloused fingers curled around my arm and gently pulled me back, silently telling me to stop. "My truck's over there, come with me," he told me softly, while steering me towards his vehicle.
"The place is only around the corner, Jake. Driving would be a waste of fuel," I protested gently, not really seeing the point of him driving.
"While I'm flattered you're concerned about my truck's fuel usage," he began while placing me by the rear of the truck and threw me a warm smile. "Right now, I'm more worried about my date not turning into an ice cube on my ass." he smirked as he opened the passenger door, and reached inside to grab his jacket.
He was concerned about me?
"But what if I don't want to wear your jacket?" I pouted playfully, just wanting to feel his arms around me again.
He chuckled and shook his head relentlessly. "Too bad. You're wearing it. I can't have you getting hypothermia on me now, can I?"
"But if I'm in your jacket, I won't have your body keeping me warm," I countered, the corner of my lips turned up into a crooked smile.
He came to an abrupt stop, and his body stiffened as he processed my words.
Did I say the wrong thing?
Dammit!
Slowly and purposefully he looked over his shoulder at me with a look in his eyes I'd never seen before. That look-that simple glance-made my heart leap from my chest. Suddenly I felt like I couldn't breathe; the air around me thickened, making it damn near impossible for me to get anything into my lungs. My entire body began to shake and tremble as the blood started to rush rapidly through my veins. I felt light-headed, weak, but at the same time, witnessing the roaring fire and intense passion burning in those beautiful brown orbs, I had never felt sexier in my life.
My entire body sang and glowed under his powerful and thorough perusal of my body. I felt like I was floating. I felt like a Goddess. He made me feel like I was the most enthralling and mouthwatering thing he'd ever laid eyes on. The way his chocolate, lustful eyes roamed over my body, drinking every single inch on me in, it was almost too much. His jaw clenched in restraint, as his left hand fisted the steel of the passenger door. His knuckles paled under the sheer strength he enforced; meanwhile, his other hand clutched tightly onto his black leather jacket as his entire body looked rigid and froze.
I watched, mesmerized, as the muscles in his mouth worked furiously and his lips were set in a long, thin line. My eyes were then drawn to his chest, causing me to watch enviously as the shirt began to contract over his delicious body as his torso rose and fell with each sharp breath he took.
I was captivated. I couldn't look away no matter what I did. He had me and he knew it.
Gulping hard, I saw Jake slowly and predatorily remove the jacket from the backseat of his truck. His eyes remained trained on mine as he moved back, and in a scarily calm manner, he shut the door and stalked his way towards me. I was goo. I had dissolved into mere mush under his breathtaking scrutiny. I was so hungry for him, and so unbelievably turned on, I knew that if he touched me, I would surrender to him. I'd do anything he wanted just so I could keep him here.
Never in my life had a man affected me like this.
Never in my life had a man had me so worked up, I was trembling and quivering with desire for him.
As he approached me, his woodsy, musky scent filled every crevice in my body and drifted up my nostrils, consuming my mind and entwining its heavenly aroma with every thought I had. My heart and mind raced. I could feel his comforting warmth surround and cocoon me, sheltering me from the bitterness of the night air. I watched in a daze as he chivalrously placed the jacket over my shoulders, my heart swelling with amazement as this gorgeous guy took care of me.
God, he was perfect.
Gently, lovingly and intimately, Jake lifted my chin with his forefinger and looked straight into my eyes. "You seriously think a jacket is gonna stop me from holding you?" he murmured softly, his low voice doing nothing to lessen my hunger for him. "Honey, nothing could stop me from holding something as rare and beautiful as you. Nothing," he stated huskily, while slowly stroking my cheek in a soothing manner with the pad of his thumb. "'Sides," he continued with a grin, "What kinda guy would I be if I let my beautiful date freeze her cute little ass off?"
He thinks I have a cute ass?
Cue dreamy sigh.
A crooked smile played upon my lips as I replied, "See now, you keep mentioning this date. I don't recall ever referring to this night as a date, Mr. Black." I looked at him pointedly, pulling the warm jacket further over my shoulders.
"Trust me, it's a date," he said with finality.
"We'll see."
"I guess we will," he smirked, lacing his hand with mine and leading us back towards the sidewalk.
"By the way, you really think I have a cute ass?"
"The cutest."
~UH~
As we reached our destination, a light chill from the night's air floated over our skin as we stopped in front of a quiet and comfy coffee shop, with a beautifully ornate sign hanging above the door which read, "A Shot In The Dark."
"A coffee shop?" Jake asked in an amused, yet judgmental tone.
"Hey, don't judge me, okay?" I started in mock defense, a hint of laughter coloring my tone. "This place," I pointed towards the best coffee shop in the world, "Sells the best chocolate cake around. And trust me, after a week of working with a crap load of little demons, I think I'm allowed this."
A chuckle rolled off of his lips as he tugged on my hand and led me towards the entrance, holding the door open for me with his free hand. Such a gentleman. "Well alright then, let's go check out 'the best chocolate cake around'," he mimicked my words with a naughty grin and winked.
I couldn't help but smile. What? It's not my fault! The guy makes me feel so...alive.
The inside was like a throwback to the 1940's. Knotting pinewood panels, striped wallpaper and colonial-style furnishings lined the walls, and antique decor such as old stoves, butter churns, vintage Coca-cola trays and copper pans, gave the coffee shop that much needed home-from-home feel. The counter was set with low vinyl swivel stools, resembling a movie malt shop. Situated all around the cozy shop were beautiful mahogany tables and chairs, with stunning vintage Tiffany bistro table lamps creating a soft and intimate ambience.
"Isn't it amazing?" I sighed dreamily, while inhaling the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Could this moment get any better? Here I was, standing in the place dreams are made of, and the guy that will more than likely grace my dreams tonight and every night for the rest of my life, was standing beside me, smiling and proudly holding my hand.
"It's somethin' all right," he murmured huskily. Why did I sense a double meaning behind those words? And why was my entire body growing warm and tingly from the aftermath of them?
Gradually, I lifted my now demure gaze up to his smiling one and, as our eyes locked, I felt my heart stop. I wasn't quite sure what had happened, but I knew now that if this didn't work out between us-God forbid-Jake Black had ruined men for me. And as much as that rather morose thought should have worried me, it didn't. Somehow, someway, I knew we would be ok. How did I know that? Simple. The moment I met those captivating, brown orbs, I felt it. I felt his soul reach out and intermingle with mine. His heart called out to me, begging me to give it a chance-imploring me to show it the real meaning of love-and who was I to get in the way of that?
"C'mon, honey," he whispered into my hair. "Why don't you go grab a seat and I'll go put in our order-and don't argue," he scolded me gently, with a knowing smile. Clearly, he was prepared for the fact that I was about to protest. "This is my treat seeing as you paid for dinner."
Dammit!
He had me there.
Jake grinned victoriously as if he knew he had silenced me momentarily, and then he did something that threw me a little: he kissed my forehead. Now, you might be thinking: why does that phase you? He's kissed you before! And while these are all true, he did them when we were keeping up the pretense that we were a couple. Here, no one knows us. So to the average onlooker, we look like a blissfully in love couple.
"So, whatcha having?"
"Uh," I mumbled, flustered. "I'll have a piece of chocolate and peanut butter cake with a latté."
"Sure, sure." He winked, obviously noticing my sweet tooth, and making me blush slightly. "I'll be right back. Uh, where are we gonna sit? So I know where to look," he chuckled, a touch of vulnerability in his voice.
"Why don't we sit outside? It's a nice night. We should make the most of it before it turns into the North Pole," I pointed out with a light chuckle.
"Sure thing," he smiled that panty-wetting smile. "Ok, go sit down and I'll be right back with 'the best chocolate cake ever'." He smirked while making air quotes.
Smart ass.
"You're never gonna let me live that down are you?"
"Not a chance," he said with a smirk, and turned towards the counter.
~UH~
"Oh my god, this is the best cake ever," I moaned as I placed a bite of the delicious sponge in my mouth.
I glanced my gleaming eyes up to an amused looking Jake, and watched with enjoyment as a grin shaped his perfect mouth.
"I take it you enjoyed that, huh?" he chuckled, then sipped on his hot chocolate. Yup. This six foot something wall of masculinity was sitting opposite me, drinking a steaming cup of hot chocolate.
Cue dreamily sigh-again.
"Heck yeah I did!" I exclaimed excitedly while using my fork to pick up the last piece of cake and hold it up to him. "Here, try a bit. I promise, you'll love it! Oh, wait, you're not allergic to nuts or anything, are you?" I asked quickly, not wanting to kill the poor guy before we've even had our real first kiss.
"Nope, allergy free," he said, popping the p and easing my slightly worried mind.
Smiling happily, I leaned forward, stopping only for him to open his mouth, and then placed the fork inside and left it there until his lip encased the steel and removed the food. It was an act of innocence, but Christ if my panties didn't dampen a little at the thought of that mouth enclosing around something...else.
"Nice, huh?" I asked, my voice slightly strained and gravelly as I tried to regain some composure.
Swallowing the last bite, he licked his lips and picked up the napkin to get rid of the residue around his mouth.
God, what I wouldn't do to leap over this table and lick him clean.
Down girl! I scolded myself. Ever heard of self control?!
Placing his napkin on the table, he looked up and me and replied in a slightly nonchalant, yet teasing tone, "I've had better."
I gasped and placed my hand over my heart in mock offense. "I am going to pretend you did not just say that." I shook my head in feigned disbelief. "And to think, I was starting to like you." I then tutted and tried my hardest to stifle the laugh sitting in the back of my throat, desperately waiting to be unleashed.
"So I guess the saying's true, huh? You know, 'never come between a girl and her chocolate'?"
I couldn't help but let out a small silent chuckle. "You know it," I confirmed, giving him a small smile. "Coming between a girl and her goods is just asking for trouble."
His smile widened as he nodded his head in understanding. "Duly noted. I shall remember that one in the future."
"Why? Planning on stopping any more girls from getting their chocolate?" I inquired, chuckling.
"Nope. Only one." He looked at me dead on and I instantly knew what he meant.
Well damn!
"So, what's the story with you and this coffee shop?"
My brows pulled together in confusion. "Huh?"
A soft laugh left his lips as he idly stirred his hot chocolate. "You said earlier that you wanted to take me somewhere, but it couldn't be explained with words."
Oh!
I snapped my fingers in recognition. "That I did."
"So?" he said expectantly, "Lay it on me. Wow me." He winked, crossing his arms over his chest, and relaxing back in his chair.
That damn wink.
"You really wanna know?" I asked, cringing.
He nodded with conviction. "Yup. So spill it, Swan."
My brow arched at his use of my last name. Oh hell. It's on now. "Okay, well, don't say I didn't warn you," I forewarned. "The reason why this place is so special to me, is because my mom and I used to visit this place all the time. It was kinda our spot to just chill, you know? Not many people know about this place, and I guess that's why I love it so much. But it also holds sentimental value."
He sat across from me, his eyes wide with sympathy and his lips slightly parted. "Shit. I'm so sorry, Bells," he apologized softly, while running his hand over his neck, nervously. "I feel like a complete ass now," he winced.
"No, please don't," I stopped him. "I'm glad you asked. It actually feels really nice to talk about her. My friends are all too chicken shit to even say her name in case I break down on their asses," I laughed softly. "But the truth is, talking about her helps me. The sense of pride I feel when I talk about her overwhelms me. Without her, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. She's actually the one who pushed me into teaching," I informed him.
He took a swig from his hot chocolate, and looked up at me inquisitively. "Yeah?"
I nodded, beaming with pride. "Yeah, she knew that I couldn't be what I'd always dreamt of being, so teaching was the next best thing."
"Smart woman," he praised her, smiling, making me flush. "So how long have you been teaching?"
"I've been working at the school for about a year now," I paused, thinking. "Yeah, just over."
"What's your subject?"
I picked up my latté and quickly blew on it to cool it down. "English, but I also dabbled in dance," I told him, then took a sip from my drink.
Jake nodded, impressed. "Dance, huh? Was that by any chance the career you wanted to pursue but couldn't?"
Wow. How refreshing. A guy who actually listens!
"It was," I said, longingly.
Jake must have caught the sadness in my voice as he looked as me with a compassionate, yet sad, expression on his face. "What happened?"
I swallowed hard, my heart beginning to race as I felt my airway start to constrict. "It's nothing. Just something that happened a long time ago."
He arched his brow questioningly, but nodded in understanding. "I'm sensing it's not something you want to talk about, but if you ever feel the need, I'm here. Okay?"
"Thank you," I mumbled with a quiet voice.
"Anytime," he smiled warmly. "So was English your major?"
"Yeah," I verified. "I love it," I said with a faraway tone. "It brings me so much happiness to watch the children learn something new and to see them progress in their education..." I faded off slowly.
"But it's not dancing," he finished for me.
I bit my lip and nodded. "When I was in high school, dance was my favorite lesson. In my spare time, I would go to my local gym, hire out their studio for an hour or so, and well...dance."
"What made you stop?"
I shook my head and released a solemn sigh. This wasn't really something I wanted to talk about, but I guess I owed him something. "My ex."
Suddenly his calm and playful demeanor vanished and his face contorted. His eyes flashed and closed into angry slits. With his jaw clenched, he asked through gritted teeth, "I know I'm probably gonna regret asking this, but can I ask why?"
I took a long, deep breath and began my explanation. "I think he thought I was his meal ticket, you know? I think he presumed that I was gonna get into some fancy pants dance school and become this professional contemporary dancer or something," I paused, the painful memories all flooding back to me. "I absolutely loved dancing, part of me still does, but I think he kinda ruined it for me. There were times, when we first got together, where he would have me training in the studio for hours on end, to the point where I was suffering from exhaustion and fatigue," I exhaled, reflectively. "Finally, one day he pushed me too far; I was extremely tired and beat after school, and he made me train. So, I pushed my body to the limit and, when it clearly couldn't take anymore, I fell and broke my leg in three places."
"Motherfucker," Jake sneered, his beautiful face twisted into a vicious looking scowl.
I shrugged indifferently. "Mistakes happen."
"That may be so, but that asshole hurt you and put you through hell because of his own selfish needs. What kinda man does that?"
"It's okay. I think, in some weird way, breaking my leg was one of the best things that could've happened to me. If I hadn't, who knows where I'd be now. Probably in some loveless marriage and being worked like a dog to keep the cash coming in," I chuckled, humorlessly.
"I know I said this earlier, but your ex was a complete prick. I mean, how fucking selfish could the guy be? He turned something that clearly meant the world to you into something that will probably haunt you for the rest of your life. He's an asshole, and he didn't deserve you," he told me, gazing directly at me while reaching across the table and putting his large hand in mine.
I was awestruck.
I stared at him; I couldn't help it.
Finally, someone who understands.
A shy and slightly timid smile graced my face as I glanced down to our linked hands. "Thank you. I know I probably got a little too heavy there," I laughed sheepishly. "But thank you for understanding." I absentmindedly began to play with his long, calloused fingers. "People don't seem to understand that while I love teaching English-and I do-dancing for me is like visiting Disneyland for a kid. I felt so alive, free and exhilarated when I danced. It was like, for that particular moment in time, when the music was pumping through my earphones and I was in a world of my own, nothing could phase me. For that short time, I was just me, you know? Not Bella Swan: the teacher, best friend and daughter. I was just Bella. Those days were some of the happiest ones of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything," I finished wistfully.
"Have you ever thought about getting back into it? Dancing?" he asked while attentively stroking the conjunction between my thumb and forefinger.
I shook my head vigorously. "I don't think I could. Doing the kind of moves I used to scares the crap out of me now. I've lost faith in it and myself. I have no confidence, and confidence is key in dancing."
He arched a brow at me skeptically and shook his head. "You wouldn't dance at all? Not even a simple two-step?" He tilted his head to the side and just gazed at me. "See, now, I don't believe that. I don't believe you're the kinda girl that just gives up on something that makes her happy. You strike me as a go-getter."
A self-conscious laugh left my lips as I kept my gaze trained on our hands. "Ever heard of the saying 'never judge a book by its cover'?"
"Sure I have, but I don't think that applies to you." He paused and looked at me expectantly. Just then, and almost perfectly timed, one of my favorite songs erupted from the nightclub cross the street. My eyes instantly lit up.
(J-lo ft Pitbul ~ On The Floor)
Obviously Jake sensed my sudden change in demeanor as a smug smile tugged at his lips. "Wanna?" he asked, tilting his head towards the music.
Oh God...was he asking me to dance? After everything I'd just told him?
"I'm not quite sure of what you are asking, Mr. Black," I returned, coyly.
Chuckling, he stood from his seat, pushed the chair out and slowly walked around the table to me, holding his hand out invitingly. "I think your are, sweetheart," he murmured, leaning down and breathing hotly into my ear. "Dance with me, Miss Swan."
My eyes darted back and forth between the nightclub and him. "Jake, I don't know..." I said, worriedly.
He pulled back, knelt down and looked me dead in the eye, a softness covering his features. "We won't go in, I promise. There's a perfectly good sidewalk behind me," he winked, making me smile. He gently took my hand and affectionately laced his fingers through mine. "I'll hold you close," he insisted. "I'll have my arms around you the entire time. Hell, I'll even let you stand on my feet if it'll make you feel better. I just want you to see that not every guy is like your douche of an ex. I'd never let you fall. Just please, Bells, dance with me." His voice was low, thick and husky, and the imploring look in his eyes pulled on just about every heartstring I had.
Dammit!
How the hell could I say no to that?
I nodded because my throat had thickened with unadulterated desire, ultimately preventing me from doing anything but utter a few incoherent syllables.
No other words needed to be said as I placed my hand in his awaiting warm one, and allowed him to lift me from my seat. His smile was so huge it practically reached his eyes as he held my hand tightly, just like he promised. He was in complete control, and I wouldn't want it any other way. His beautiful brown eyes never left mine as he guided us around the array of empty seats and onto the sidewalk.
My heels clicked loudly along the pavement as we suddenly came to a stop, and he tenderly grasped my arm and pulled me in close so my clothed breasts were touching his shirt covered chest.
Oh hell...
As the music seeped out of the club and drifted through the air, slowly enveloping us in a secure and lust-filled bubble, my nerves began to get the better of me. I hadn't danced in years and here I was, on my first date in quite a while, in the arms of this handsome man.
No pressure.
Jake was true to his word as he pulled me in close so every part of our bodies were touching.
Breathe, Bella. Breathe.
He cautiously took both of my hands and placed them around his neck, prompting me to push my body further into his and lock my arms around him. Hesitantly, Jake trailed his hands down the smooth fabric of my dress, swallowing hard as he felt every curve my body had to offer under his warm touch. My entire body tingled and shivered with desire from his heavenly touch. With his darkened gaze still trained on me as he went, he protectively rested both of his hands on my satin-covered hips, his fingers curling around me and holding me firmly. I watched him with entranced eyes. The way his Adam's apple bobbed up, and down and his jaw clenched, indicating that this simple dance was testing his restraint to the max.
I had never felt so turned on in all my life. I never wanted him to stop looking at me like that, and I never wanted him to stop holding me like this.
With his arms securing me to his body, we began to move experimentally to the erotic beat, my body slightly stiff and nervous from thoughts of what could happen. What if I fell? What if all these years of not dancing had left me uncoordinated? Will he think I'm just a fool with an unrealistic dream?
Jake must have sensed my hesitance and my sudden drop in self-confidence as he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Don't think, just dance." His hot breath drifted into my eardrums, causing my entire body to grow hot from his words. "It's just you and me; you don't have to be nervous." His large hand was splayed over my lower back, and his thumb drew lazy circles on the satin.
He was right. I needed to let all the pain go and just enjoy this moment with him. I needed to focus all of my attention on the sexy as hell man holding me close to him.
I brought my eyes to him and smiled sincerely. "I'm not nervous. How could I be?" My smile intensified as he looked at me with wide, shocked eyes, while his mouth slowly formed a breathtaking, megawatt grin.
Gradually, my coiled body began to relax under his gentle touch and I felt myself moving more fluidly to the music. All of my worries and doubts faded. I just wanted to enjoy this rare moment of being held by this God-like man. The intoxicating scent of his aftershave, combined with the coffee and the crisp night air, was driving my senses wild. My arms hung lethargically over his shoulders as our hips began to rotate to the beat of the song, causing customers inside the shop to whisper loudly. My heart leapt in my chest at the thought of them talking about us, watching enviously as this man held me the way only lovers hold each other. And, well, it stirred things in me that I haven't felt for a very long time. Smiling, I arched my body into his and gently pulled his head down so I could whisper in his ear, "People are staring at us."
Grinning, he looked back at me, lifted his hand to place a stray strand of hair behind my ear, and murmured in a low and thick voice, "Let them. I don't care. The only thing on my mind right now is you."
At that mind blowing comment, my eyes flashed to his and my heart began to race. Several haggard and shaky breaths escaped my mouth as we stood together, shielded and protected from the threats of the outside word. My hooded gaze darted back and forth between his and those extremely kissable lips as my breathing quickly became considerably more harsh and labored, making me absentmindedly pull my own lower lip into my mouth.
"God, Bells, don't do that," he groaned, dropping his head into the crease of my neck, and closing his tortured eyes.
"Why?" I croaked, my voice strained and raspy.
His body tensed from my words. "Because," he mumbled gravelly into my neck. The tip of his nose and the surface of his lips gently brushed over my flesh, causing goosebumps to appear on my skin. "I'm thinking things I shouldn't be thinking."
Without thinking, I arched my neck further into his intimate touch and lowered my hands suggestively over his broad shoulders. My fingers caressed every inch of muscle under that shirt as I fought the whimper that demanded release. "Who says you shouldn't be thinking them?" I dared to ask.
Less than a second later, Jake's nose skimmed up the slope of my neck-leaving a trail of hot caresses in his wake-until our foreheads were drawn together like magnets. His perfect, plump lips were suspended just above mine; his lower lip parted from his top as his lifted his hand and tantalizingly ran his long, thick fingers through my hair. I watched, captivated, as his pained, yet dark eyes, lowered to my lips. "Trust me, it's just not a good idea." His voice was soft but labored as he sensually ran the pad of his thumb across my moist lip.
At his sobering words, my entire body was struck with guilt and embarrassment.
I felt like crying.
He had rejected me...
Was I the only one feeling this? This connection?
God, I was so stupid!
"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."
"Hey," he said softly, holding my chin between his fingers. "Don't do that, okay? You have no idea how badly I-" he quickly stopped himself, shook his head, bit his lip firmly, then lowered his head against mine and sighed heavily. "I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier because, well, if I'm being honest, you blew me away," he chuckled lightly, while gazing adoringly into my eyes, making me smile, and also slightly confused. "You look absolutely beautiful tonight, Bells. Truly. So beautiful."
My heart literally melted...again!
A soft blush colored my cheeks as my hands moved back to his neck and played with the silky strands of his hairline. "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."
I was then rewarded with a mind-blowing smile, the tension instantly evaporated from my body.
Christ, how did he do that?
"Thank you for this." I motioned to us dancing. "It means a lot to me. Dancing again makes me realize how much I miss it," I chuckled, nervously.
He smiled and tilted my chin up to meet his gaze. "Don't have to thank me, it was my pleasure. You're an amazing woman, Bella," he stated, sincerely.
Just not enough for you.
I smiled sheepishly, and averted my eyes to my-all of a sudden-extremely interesting heels. "So, Mr. Black, what's next for you? What are your plans?" I asked, randomly, while also trying hard to fight the humiliation I felt.
Jake arched his brow questioningly and chuckled, while continuing to hold me close. "Guess I gotta find myself a job."
"What kinda thing are you, uh, looking for?" I asked, curiously.
"Anything," he answered without delay. "I just wanna be able to provide for my son."
God, why does that make it hurt so much more?
"I think I could help you out there," I said, slapping on a smile and masking my pain.
"Yeah?" he pulled his head back intrigued and glanced into my eyes.
I swallowed and nodded. "Yeah, there's this guy I work with, his brother owns a construction company and is always looking for people. D'you think you'd be up for that?"
"Sure. That'd be awesome," he beamed.
"And if you need someone to look after Ethan for a few hours, I'm more than happy to take him when I'm done with work."
Jake simply smiled at me, awestruck. "You're amazing, you know that?"
"So I've been told," I chuckled, unsurely.
"No, Bella. I'm serious," he said, lifting my chin with his forefinger, gazing longingly into my eyes. "You really are amazing," he said with adoration.
My heart plummeted at his words.
While he was saying all these sweet and lovely words to me, all I could hear was: "But we can never be."
However, in spite of that, he then did something that had me totally floored.
The music that had once held us in a tight, secluded bubble had now faded into nothing and been replaced by the thumping sound of my heart. Jake moved his face a little lower, his hooded, yet honest eyes, remained locked on mine. His slightly rough fingers stroked the sides of my face as he lowered his hungry eyes to my yearning lips. Slowly-oh, so slowly-he inched closer, tilting his head to the side, the tender graze of his nose sent a maelstrom of emotions surging through my body, most of them leading straight to my core.
I couldn't think straight. My mind was whirling with possibilities of what could come next. Was he going to kiss me? As in, a full on kiss? And why was he telling me, on the one hand, that us showing each other affection wasn't a good idea, and then on the other, he was leaning in to kiss me? But the more I thought about it...did it really matter? Nope. I just wanted the guy to kiss me!
Deciding to help him out, I curled my fingers around his neck and brought him forward just a little. I took a chance and glanced up into his eyes, praying I didn't see the same tortured, pained look I saw earlier floating in them.
However, relief quickly flooded my body as I saw no trace of regret, hesitation, doubt or guilt-there was only an overpowering sense of longing.
Just as his lips were about to brush mine, he stopped, cupped my cheek and whispered softly, "Sexy, beautiful, intelligent, athletic and amazing. Damn, what a lethal combinati-"
However, before he could finish that sentence, we were both violently shoved backwards.
"What the fuck?!" Jake roared in surprise as our bodies were unwillingly torn apart.
In a matter of seconds, his eyes transformed from a raging, uncontrollable anger into an undeniable amount of worry as they landed on me and my falling body.
"Bella!" he cried out, his eyes widening in concern as he saw my tumbling body.
The heel of my shoe became lodged in the lip of the pavement, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground, laying on my side. My hip ached, my palms throbbed painfully from where they broke my fall, and an angry red liquid was oozing out of my hands and knees.
"Shit!" he exclaimed loudly in concern. "Bells, honey, are you okay?" he asked, rushing towards me in frantic worry. His eyes narrowed in fear as he rapidly searched my body for other injuries.
My cheeks flushed as my entire body grew hotter and hotter from my embarrassment.
I was mortified.
I couldn't believe that after our perfect meal and dance, our date would end up with me, more than likely, visiting the emergency room.
Awesome.
"Hollly shhit...mannn," the guy slurred, clearly drunk off his ass. "I dddidn't...s-see you guysss t-there."
I watched uneasily as Jake's hands balled into fists as the guy garbled his pathetic excuse of an explanation. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a brief moment, as if trying to block out the drunk, sluggish words of the asshat behind him.
"Hollly ssshit, I need anottther fuckin' beer, man," the guy said, while swaying unstably from side to side, knocking some of the vacant chairs out of the way, and being completely inconsiderate to the people around him.
Jake's face formed a deep frown as he slowly began to grind his teeth in an agitated manner.
"Did that fucker hurt you?" he snarled through gritted teeth.
"I'm fine," I lied, trying to soothe him. "My heel just got caught, that's all." But the truth was, I felt like shit and just wanted to go home and crawl into my bed.
Despite my efforts to comfort him, he gently lifted my hands and inspected them. Without thinking, I grimaced and hissed in pain as I felt his warm breath drift across my exposed cut. He snapped his angry gaze to mine and cursed under his breath.
"I'm going to fucking kill him." He stood with a raging fire in his eyes, and strode angrily towards the tool who indirectly knocked me over.
At his words, I lifted my head and reached out to grab his hand. "Jake, please, it was a simple mistake. Just leave it," I urged, searching his face with my eyes.
Jake turned to face me with disbelief in his eyes. "Bella, that asshole hurt you! You can't seriously expect me to just let that slide?!"
"Please, Jake. Don't let him ruin our perfect date. Please?" I gently tugged on his hand, emphasising my plea.
He exhaled loudly, and ran his free hand over his face, tiredly. "Fine. But if that punk comes near you again, it's gonna be a whole different story."
My heart swelled at his protectiveness as I tightened my grip on him. "Thank you."
At least I had placated him for now. I could only pray that the guy didn't come back because I knew if he did, Jake would rip him apart.
"Sure, sure," he sighed as he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I'm gonna go inside and get something for your cuts. I'll be right back. Don't move," he ordered sternly, but with a knowing smile.
With one last glance back to me, he smiled then disappeared inside, leaving me sitting outside in the cool Seattle air, praying our blissful night didn't take anymore turns for the worst.
Ha! Famous last words.
~UH~
A few, quiet and reflective minutes later, our night did, in fact, take another turn for the worst.
Asshat reappeared with yet another beer bottle in his hands, singing some crappy song at the top of his lungs and recklessly bashing into things.
I groaned silently and shook my head.
Awesome.
Just what I need.
He staggered towards me, swaying his beer bottle carelessly in his left hand, while wearing a cocky grin on his face and slurred, "That your boyfriend?" He pointed inside the coffee shop, rudely.
I rolled my eyes and turned my head away from his interfering, execrable ass. I had no desire to engage this drunk in a conversation. "I don't see what business it is of yours," I said coldly.
He chuckled, burped and stumbled backwards.
Wow, I thought. Someone's a charmer.
"Aww, c'monnnn, baaabyyy," he whined, pathetically. "Don't be a little bitccch. What's your name, sexy?" He stalked closer to me and, without my permission, he picked up a strand of my hair and inhaled deeply, making me shudder with disgust.
"Her name's touch her again and I'll break your fucking face," Jake growled possessively from behind me.
Thank God!
I released a long sigh of relief.
Drunk guy chuckled darkly as he tried to focus his sluggish gaze on Jake. "Chill the fuck out, duuude. I was just talkinggg to herrr."
I mentally shook my head. Why did he have to go and open his mouth? Why were some men such dorks?
"I don't give a flying fuck what you were doing," Jake snapped angrily, his body tense as he stood in front of me protectively. His entire body was taut and ready to attack. "You touch her again, and I swear, it'll be the last thing you do."
"Damn brooo...no need to be soooo touchyyy. Though, if-if I were you," he hiccuped. Seriously? "... and I was tapping that ass," he gyrated his hips, emphasizing his disgusting words. "There's nooo way in hell, I would share that hot little puss-"
Before the guy could finish his revolting sentence, the first aid kit had dropped from Jake's shaking hands, and he lunged forward, slamming the guy to the nearest wall, seething and breathing heavily as he pinned his elbow into the dude's neck.
"Say that again, you fucking cocksucker. I dare you," Jake ground out through clenched teeth, the vein in his neck protruding under his rage. "You don't fucking talk about her like that. Ever. Got me?" he spat, his face reddening more with each passing word.
Okay, I needed to stop this. Right now.
Gingerly, I stood from my chair and hobbled carefully over to try and defuse the situation. "Jake? Honey?" I laid an affectionate hand on his bicep, and for a brief moment was shocked when I saw him flinch, but then his face softened in recognition and he instantly relaxed under my touch. "Please, just take me home," I pleaded. My voice was weak as my head began to throb.
He nodded in acknowledgment before his grip tightened on asshat. "You come near my girl again, and I swear to God, you will live to regret it," he said, not taking his vicious gaze off of asshat. Just when I thought the douche was going to provoke him again, Jake's hand loosened around his neck, freeing him.
Asshat chuckled wickedly, coughed and rubbed his throat, suddenly seeming perfectly sober. I guess having someone as built as Jake threaten you would sober you up some. "Whatever," he muttered, strained. "No sweat off my back. Bitch is too high-maintenance for my liking."
Jake growled warningly and once again started to move past me, but before he could, I placed my hand on his chest, stopping him. "Leave him, Jake. He's not worth it."
He simply grunted in response, then reached down and delicately took my hand. "Can you walk?" he asked sympathetically, looking down at me with apologetic eyes.
I smiled at his kindness, grasped his hand tightly and glanced up into his pained eyes. "Yes, come on," I said, tugging on his hand. "Take me home, Mr. Black." I winked, causing him to chuckle.
"You know, I was kinda hoping you would say you couldn't," he informed me, grinning impishly.
I chuckled hesitantly, and glanced up at him questioningly. "And why would that be?" I asked intrigued, with amused tone.
"Because if you couldn't walk, then I could do this," he bent down and swiftly, yet carefully swept me up into his arms, bridal style. A small squeak of surprise left my lips as he held me.
"Why, Mr. Black, you truly are a gentleman, aren't you?" I teased.
"Yes, ma'am," he beamed, proudly. "And gentlemen don't allow beautiful ladies such as yourself to walk if they are injured."
"I can see that," I bit my lip contentedly, gazing into his eyes and wrapping my arms around his neck. "So what're you waiting for, handsome? Take your damsel in distress home."
He threw back his head, releasing a howl of laughter, then tightened his hold on me and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Hold on tight, sweetheart."
~UH~
JPOV
How the hell did she do that?
And how the fuck had I gotten so lucky?
Shit like this didn't happen to guys like me. Nope, guys like me were down on our luck every, single, time. But with Bella...it's just...it's different. She actually cared about me, wanted to be around me and she didn't up and hightail it in the other direction when she saw Ethan. No, she stayed, she saved my ass and now she's making me feel all these weird and scary as shit emotions.
How the hell did she make me feel so calm, when all I really wanted to do was chase after that fucker and beat him to a goddamn pulp for hurting and hitting on my Bells?
And more to the point: why did I want to beat the shit out of him for hitting on her? Simple. I was jealous as fuck. When I heard that cocksucker openly flirt with her, something inside me just snapped; something vicious and savage, and I just lost it.
That red mist descended over my eyes, and for those few moments, it was like I blacked out. All I could think about was making that asshole pay for what he'd said and done to her. Because like fuck was I ever gonna let another person disrespect that beautiful woman again.
I'm not a violent man, but shit, like hell was I gonna just sit by and let him get away with inflicting pain on my girl. Fuck no.
I knew I was being a little possessive, but Christ, I couldn't help it when it came to her. Everything about her was just so...right. Neither of us had to try too hard, or fill up moments of quiet time with pointless small talk. Being with and around her was as easy as breathing.
"So I guess this is the part where we say good night," she said as we reached her door, while tucking a lock of that silky hair behind her ear, and coyly playing with her keys.
"Yeah, I guess it is," I replied, shoving my hands in my jean pockets, not really knowing what to do.
A brief moment of comfortable silence passed between us as we allowed our eyes to linger on each other.
God, she was beautiful.
I took a moment to cherish this flawless view because I wasn't sure if, after my caveman routine a little while ago, she would wanna see me again.
Personally, I wouldn't blame her one bit, but this woman had touched me. This exquisite, beautiful creature had done more than just 'touch' me; she'd crawled under my skin. She'd gotten to the innermost parts of me and taken up residence. She'd found my core, my center...my heart. Her beauty had caught my eye first, but then...I saw her. There she was, this amazing and incredible person. She was smart, funny, warm and sexy. I'd never in my life met anyone like her. I knew for a fact I'd never meet anyone like her again. There was nobody like her. She was an original-unique-and one of a kind and I knew I'd never see a sunrise that didn't find her living inside of me.
So what the fuck was I gonna do?
Had I blown everything by protecting her?
Shit, I hoped not.
Even if I was able to move on and find another woman to fill the empty spaces in my life, to help me care for Ethan, it would never be the same. This woman was the one I needed. She owned me and she didn't even know it. That was yet another of her wonderful qualities: she was completely unaware of how special she was-how perfect. I'd had the chance to witness with my own two eyes, just how beautiful she was-inside and out- and I may have blown it.
Fuck!
I looked at the angel in front of me again, trying to memorize every minute detail of her.
"I had a really nice time with you tonight," she told me softly, her tender voice bringing me out of my perusal of her body.
I bowed my head and nodded in agreement. "Same here."
"Oh," Bella spoke suddenly, causing me to snap my gaze her hers. "And thank you for not letting our night together be ruined by that ass."
I sighed heavily, trying not to think about that fucker and lowered my eyes to the ground frowning, then brought them back up to meet her warm ones. "That asshole shouldn't have even been near you," I growled, feeling pissed at myself for not being quick enough to stop her from falling. I would never have forgiven myself if she had been seriously hurt. Fuck, I hated the fact she even got hurt at all, especially after everything she had shared with me.I sighed again, deeper this time, and looked into her gentle eyes. "I'd never have forgiven myself if you'd gotten seriously hur-"
But before I could finish, she stepped forward and placed her index finger on my lips, stopping me. "Stop. Jake, you did more than enough. You stood up for me and protected me. No one's ever done that for me before."
Seriously?
Not even that prick of an ex of hers?
God, I hated the fucker even more now.
"So my whole caveman routine didn't scare you off then?" I chuckledunsurely, leaning against the wall, hope shadowing my tone.
She smiled sexily, arched her brow and bit her lip for the umpteenth time tonight, making me want to pull her into my arms and kiss her-hard. "Wanna know something?"
I nodded, my curiosity aroused."Sure."
She smiled and laughed under her breath, while looking down at her keychain. "I thought your whole 'caveman routine' was the sexiest thing I've ever seen," she admitted, causing my jeans to tighten.
She thought it was sexy?
Damn...
"Yeah?" I replied, feeling stunned, my lips twitching with elation. I was damn glad to know she thought about me in that sense. "That's good to know. For a while there I was worried you wouldn't wanna see me again," I said with a sad, wistfulsmile. I wasn't sure why, but the thought of not seeing her again scared the shit outta me.
"You were worried I wouldn't wanna see you again?" she repeated, looking at me in disbelief.
"Yeah," I smiled sheepishly, feeling emotionally fucking exposed.
Bella took a deliberate step towards me and laid a gentle and affectionate hand on my arm."Please don't think for a second that I wouldn't want to see you again. Tonight has been the most exciting, wonderful time I've had in a long time. Why in the world would I not want to do it again?"she asked with honesty dancing in her eyes.
Fuck, my heart clenched as relief flooded my body in tidal waves.
Thank Christ for that.
I wasn't exactly sure what had happened, but after hearing her say that she wanted to see me again, something inside just flipped. Suddenly, I found myself needing to show her just how much her words meant to me.
Purposefully, I pushed myself off of the door frame, and with a determined look in my eye, I took a firm, yet dangerous step towards her, closing the distance between us. Her precious, brown eyes darted back and forth between mine, a wave of intense desire and slight confusion washed over her face, as I slowly reached out and placed the tip of my forefinger under her chin, gently tilting it up to mine. My heart was hammering in my chest, and my airway began to constrict as I lowered my hooded gaze towards those beautiful lips and moved my hand to her cheek, tenderly cupping it. I didn't care about the slight drizzle of rain falling from the sky, drenching us in seconds. I didn't give a damn about the cocksucker who'd interrupted us earlier and injured the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world. And I didn't give a thought to the current shitstorm that was my life. All I cared about was the unbelievably stunning woman in my arms, gazing at me as if she could see into the very depths of my soul.
I ducked down, sighing contentedly as I felt several soft tendrils of her glossy, sleek brown hair brush across my cheek and tickle my collar bone, causing me to shiver involuntarily. Slowly, I inhaled deeply, basking in the gloriously delicious scent of her raspberry and vanilla shampoo combined with her perfume. Jesus, she smelled so damn good.
Tenderly, I skimmed the side of my forefinger down the soft, velvety skin of her cheek. My entire body hummed with anticipation as my finger continued to lower until I reached the edge of those gorgeous, succulent lips. Fuck, my cock twitched painfully in my jeans as I felt the softness of her body meld perfectly against the hardness of mine. The contrast was mind-blowing. A tortured groan reverberated within my chest as a rush of her sweet, chocolatey breath ghosted over my jaw and drifted across my lips. Shit, I could practically taste her on my tongue. Biting back yet another groan, I lovingly ran the pad of my thumb over the her moist lip, while murmuring huskily, "I was hoping you'd say that."
Our eyes locked in a heated exchange for what felt like a lifetime, but in reality, was mere seconds. Passion and emotion overwhelmed me as I felt those captivating eyes pierce a huge hole in my chest, and envelop and penetrate my heart.
Suddenly, just from that one glance, I felt like my heart had been brought back to life.
It was like she'd zapped me back to the land of the living; like I'd been given an electric shock and she was the electricity.
Fuck me...
I couldn't explain how I felt or why I felt like this, but I had so many fucking feelings for her whirling at warp speed around my head that everything else seemed blurred and of less importance. It confused the fuck outta me, left me questioning what the hell was going on between us, but fuck if I didn't love every single minute of it.
Was this the beginning of a friendship? Or was the woman in my arms going to be the one person who could bring me crashing down to my knees?
Funny thing was, I already knew the answer. I knew it from the moment our eyes met in Babies R' Us.
Bella Swan was going to be woman to bring out the best and the worst in me. She was going to be the woman to make me realize all of my deepest, darkest fears and, simultaneously, she was going to make me the happiest, and luckiest son-of-a-bitch that ever lived. And strangely, that didn't phase me.
I wanted-shit, I needed her-in my life, and not just as a friend. I needed this beautiful Swan to be a permanent part of mine and Ethan's life in every possible way.
I could only fucking pray she wanted the same thing.
With that thought firmly planted in my head, I captured her beautiful face between my rough hands, looked directly into her eyes so she knew I meant every single word, and whispered scratchily, "I really need to see you again Bella."
~UH~
BPOV
Oh my God...
Talk about an enigma!
But God, he was a gorgeous, and extremely mind-blowing enigma.
I had learnt, over my short time with him, that he had a tendency to blow hot and cold and I wasn't sure how I felt about that...but I did know that I wanted to explore it.
So here I was...exploring it.
Was he going to kiss me?
Should I let him kiss me?
Or would that make me look like a hussy?
Or should I just send him home now before things became too heated? Because I knew that if he kissed me, I wouldn't be able to stop.
Ahhh! This was so frustrating!
As if he could read my mind, he looked deep into my eyes and scolded me softly, "Stop over thinking things, Bella," while still cupping my face.
Yes, he's right.
I should.
But does that mean he wanted me to kiss him?
Ah, hell!
Screw it. What can one kiss hurt? After all, only one of two things could happen. I was either going to end up receiving one of the best kisses of my life. Or I was going to be, once again, completely humiliated.
Please don't be the latter...
I leaned in closer, gently and deliberately grazed my nose with his, my whole body shivering involuntarily at the feel of his warm, russet skin brushing against mine. Granted it was only his nose, but hell, it was still him!
Seductively and provocatively, I drew my lower lip into my mouth, my upper lip enclosing around it as I sucked on it harshly, urgently. Placing my small palm over the top of his black button down shirt, I felt a vibration rumble around his chest, causing me to snap my gaze up to those sexy, brown eyes, and what I saw was nothing short of a walking wet dream. His eyes were shut and clenched into tight, thin lines. His jaw was working rapidly as if, once again, trying to restrain himself and his breathing was slowly becoming increasingly more shallow and labored. The sight of him made my heart ache uncontrollably for him. So much so, I found that I couldn't hold back any longer.
On my tiptoes, I took the initiative and leaned in the rest of the way. However, just before I kissed him, I reached my hand up, my finger stroking the smooth skin of his jaw and along to just under his ear. I couldn't help the sheer amount of pride that I felt as my finger brushed over his pulse-it was beating rapidly. I pushed my body into him so we were flush together, our bodies joined as one. I lazily dropped my hooded gaze to his parted lips, while quickly wetting my own, and tilted my head to the side so I could gain unrestricted access to this perfect man. Slowly, agonizingly and excruciatingly slowly, I closed the distance between us and kissed him.
But my earlier fears of rejection and humiliation sprang to life as I realized he wasn't kissing me back.
My heart shattered into a million pieces as I settled back down on my feet. Pain, mortification and sadness seized my heart, holding on so tightly it made it extremely hard for me to breathe. Dejectedly, my arms fell from his body, and the urge to wrap them protectively around my waist, shielding me from harshness of his refusal, was almost too much.
I couldn't look at him, I felt too humiliated. It was like there was a huge, flashing, neon arrow sign above my head saying, 'DENIED'.
How could I have been so stupid?
He had rejected me-again.
He didn't want me...
Why didn't he want me? Was the idea of being with me really that bad he'd felt the need to refuse me-twice?
Tears of hurt and pain stung the backs of my eyes like a thousand needles attacking skin. My heart had sunk faster than the Titanic, dropping into an endless pit of misery. Had I read all the signs wrong? Did he only see me as a friend?
God, I wasn't sure I could cope with only having him as friend. It would tear me apart to watch him run off into the sunset with another woman.
However, before I could wallow in my self pity any further, Jake gingerly reached out and cautiously took my hand, agony and torment swirled in those beautiful, brown eyes. "Bells I-"
I was devastated. I had put myself out there repeatedly tonight, and each time he'd shut me down. So the last thing I needed was for him to tell me why he couldn't return my kiss. I put my hands up to stop him from making a fool of me any further and shook my head regretfully. "It's fine, Jake. I get it. There's no need to explain."
"No, Bella, that's not it-" he tried to protest, but I just couldn't listen to it. It was too painful.
I turned my wounded, anguished gaze on him and pursed my lips into a thin line. "Jake, please. It's fine, honestly," I said absently, disappointment weighed heavily on my heart. "Erm, I should head in, I've got an early start tomorrow," I mumbled quietly, motioning towards my door, the confidence in my tone and body abandoning me. "Thank you for a lovely night, Jake."
And on that rather depressing note, I turned my back to him, knowing that if I chanced a look at him, I'd break down completely. Quickly, I unlocked my door and hastily moved inside, needing to get some distance between us.
Just before I closed my door, I could've sworn I heard him whimper my name and then curse violently under his breath.
The piercing click of my lock echoed around my head, letting me know that, for now, I was safe from his judgmental eyes.
Sighing, I fell back against the cool wood of my door, collapsed my head back against it, making a soft thudding noise resound through my ears and I slowly slid down the door, my heart crushed.
Dropping my bag to the floor, I slipped off my heels and threw them to one side, then brought my knees up to my chest, cradling them. With my heavy head now resting on my legs, the tears I'd fought to keep at bay for the last few minutes finally gave way.
I couldn't believe I'd practically thrown myself at him, kissed and touched him, only for my efforts go unappreciated. But I was so confused. I was positive there was something going on between us. I was sure he felt the connection that flowed between us. Clearly not. So, as I sat hunched up on the floor by my front door, several lone and forlorn tears slowly making their way over my reddening eyelids and streaming down my cheeks.
Obviously I just wasn't good enough.
~UH~
JPOV
"It's fine, Jake. I get it. There's no need to explain."
I watched helplessly as the woman who had, unbeknownst to her, crawled under my skin and burrowed herself slap bang in the center of my heart, pulled her beautiful mind, body and soul away from me and walked into her apartment.
What the fuck had I done?
Why didn't I kiss her back?
Fuck!
I should've kissed her back, but I was just so damn shocked. I mean sure, I leaned into her and sort of instigated it, but never once did it cross my mind that she'd actually move in the rest of the way and kiss me!
Well, part of me hoped she would, but that was just wishful thinking.
Or so I thought...
But then she pressed those beautiful lips into mine and for the briefest of moments, I was floored. Before I could respond to her kiss, she'd removed herself from the safety of my arms and began walking back towards her door.
I knew I'd hurt her, I could tell by the look of hurt and embarrassment in her gorgeous, watery eyes as she stepped away from me, and fuck if my heart didn't clench painfully at the sight of her.
I never wanted to hurt her. That was the last thing I ever set out to do.
Sighing in irritation at myself, I raked my hands through my hair in frustration and forced myself away from her door and towards my truck.
~UH~
It took everything I had to drag myself away from her apartment, but I had to do it. She needed her space and I needed...well...I needed her but that wasn't gonna happen anytime soon. So with my shoulders sagged and my head hung low in shame, I pulled my keys out from my jeans and pressed unlock on the fob. As the truck unlocked, I took one last remorseful glance up towards her apartment, my heart dropped violently as I saw all of the lights were off.
Had she gone to sleep upset?
Had I made her cry?
Fuck, what was she gonna think of me now?
Would she even wanna see me again?
I know I sure as hell wouldn't, if I were her.
Or had I just blown everything?
Goddammit!
What I wouldn't give to be able to get inside her head right now.
I wished like hell that I could run back to that apartment, beg her to let me in and show her just how much I liked her and how sorry I was.
But I couldn't.
I'd hurt her too badly. I'd cut her too deep. She was now feeling hurt and humiliated and it was all my fault.
And that made me fucking angry.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Black?" I muttered angrily to myself, shaking my head in disgust. "What the hell did you just do? Or failed to do in this case?" I amended in a huff, while leaning against the cool steal of my truck, my elbows resting on the roof, and my palms cradling my head. "Of all the damn times to act like a complete pussy..."
Growling audibly at my own foolish stupidity, my arms dropped from my truck and in a flash I stepped back and kicked the tires of my car, causing the hubcap to rattle in such a way that I could've sworn it called me a loser. And that's exactly what I fucking felt like: a colossal loser.
An ass.
How the hell was I gonna make this alright with Bella now?
She had helped me so much today. She saved my ass in Babies R' Us, then rescued me from the man-eater, and that only continued all throughout out date. And how do I go and fucking repay her? I reject her. How stupid could one guy be?
Huffing, I yanked open my door and threw myself inside my truck, my door slammed loudly as I shoved my keys into the ignition and cranked the engine.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I stopped briefly to send a quick text to Becca, letting her know I was on my way home, and then I took one last glance back to the shitload of mess I'd created between myself and Bella, and sighed heavily.
She didn't deserve this shit.
I didn't deserve her.
Regret and longing consumed my body as I threw my truck into drive and drove my lame ass out of there, and only one thing haunted my every thought as I steered my truck along the dark, eerie Seattle roads: I should've kissed her.
Please review! If you have any ideas as to days out or things you'd like to see them doing as a couple or a family (with Ethan), please let know, and I will try my best to incorporate them!
Thank you for reading!
Until next time,
Cat.