Standard Disclaimer
Man sorry for the delay! Normally I have a week prep and a week writing now to make sure I get some flow and not just random bits messed up. But last week was the combination of the 4th of July and the work week from hell! Never try to do dynamic security scanning the week before code freeze…just don't.
X-X
With Nothing Else
Chapter – 18
Letting out a drag of her smoke, Ritsuko was fighting against her base instincts to start panicking. Almost everything was in place, which meant one small mistake would spell exposure and death or incarceration. Gendo might keep her alive to finalize his plans, and then it would be her end, what would be worse she didn't know. The Magi were now tied to a remote she kept on her, one touch would trigger what the angel tried months ago. If she ever got the chance to get down to the tank of spare clones, she'd put in the final command and dissolve all of them. Information leaks abounded in small easy to hide places, that she slipped to Kaji. Yes it was all coming together. But all the lines lead back to her, if Gendo opened his eyes to them.
"Look like you could use this," Maya set a cup of coffee down next to Ritsuko's hand. Grabbing a chair, she pulled it over, spun it around, then sat on it with her legs spread and rested on the back support. Oh she looked calm and happy, almost sickeningly so. Cocking her head to the side, "So what are you working on? We got the parts to finalize the repairs to Unit-01 so you can't be working on that."
Ah yes, Maya and her insane plan at a group relationship, Ritsuko could kiss the girl for it. Actually...she did just that. Leaning in she put a hand behind Maya's head and drew her in for a brief exchange, soft and sweet how both liked it and Gendo hated. "Sync tests from yesterday for the most part, and some of the special tests to verify Shin-chan is recovering from his little state," in private she was starting to like this more and more. His tests were vexing, they didn't make sense, and to a scientist that was the hardest thing to accept. Cells were repaired, minor changes to his cellular structure, but his personality was the same and his sync ration stellar.
For the last three weeks though, Ritsuko had gone from timidly accepting Maya's offer to actually basking in it. How the others were, Ritsuko might suppose but never firmly comment on. Maya had her heart on her sleeve and was doting and loving, while Shinji was more reserved yet appeared happy. Given his past relationship, Ritsuko didn't fault him for his extra level of caution as she exhibited the same. Color her impressed and actually quite stunned when Maya admitted that the two of them had sex at her prompting during the second week of the relationship. Ritsuko and Shinji's first time had been…the night before and it left Ritsuko equally ashamed of herself and exceptionally loved.
Either it was the loneliness she felt, the fact her past lover was abusive, her growing emotions, or any number of other variables her scientific mind tried to apply to it, the fact remained that she had one of the most intense orgasms in her life. Ritsuko was getting over her reservations for that little fear that Maya was wrong about this. All that was left was one final little factoid, one she dreaded.
"So how is he doing? He was all worried about this, last night before he left he was just pacing about the apartment," Maya tugged on the monitor to get a better view. Scooting her chair closer to the screen, she read and re-read it all and her face scrunched up in confusion. Pointing at some of the readings, "This doesn't make any sense. I'm not a biologist but these are radically different than Soryu's."
Damn she was adorable when she was confused, Ritsuko couldn't help but notice about Maya. "True it's not normal, but it's not dangerous either. If anything he's healthier now than ever in his life. The changes shouldn't be of any concern. Though the changes to Unit-01 are…" she sipped the coffee Maya brought her. Just as she wanted, with the perfect mix of sugar and cream. Switching the screen from the pilots last reports, Rei's grayed out, to Unit-01's current elaborate readings and she groaned. "This is going to be harder to hide from outside sources," and they needed to.
"But why do we have to? Having an S2 engine is a good thing isn't it?" Maya sat up straight in her chair. Spinning off her seat, she paced the room and waved her hand about occasionally as she spoke, "Now it doesn't need an external power source, that's a great boon to us! The problem of the Forth angel and the last aren't going to happen again." Maya had a point, but wasn't talking from a position of knowledge. Ritsuko was going to have to inform her little girl of a few things in the case she got found out.
Twisting her chair, Ritsuko eyed the clock and groaned…the meeting with Misato was coming up and mother-bear needed to know a lot about her cub. "You're seeing all the good and none of the bad, Maya-chan," damn Ritsuko was starting to love saying that. A positive relationship, it had such an impact on her lately that Ritsuko wondered how blind she had been with Gendo. But that was for outside of work, right now it was more dire things, "What if Unit-01 goes berserk and doesn't stop? Next time the commander causes Shinji-kun to snap and threaten the base? And the worst…Unit-01 is showing signs of dependency on him."
That stopped Maya's pacing, she paled and covered her mouth. Not the girl's most proud moments, not something she wanted to remember. She had been partially responsible for Shinji's incarceration, and eventually jaunt into liquidity. "So what do we do then? Put Unit-01 in cryo-freeze after we repair it? Keep him under lock and key? And it isn't like we've been swapping the pilots around, so what is the issue there? Hell, Ayanami and Unit-00 have been sequestered from the others already," Maya stole a drink from Ritsuko's cup, twin sets of lipstick now marred the porcelain lip.
"Ayanami is…" Ritsuko stopped and just blanked out. Why was Ayanami being separated from the others again? A blank spot in her memory again, she'd been having more of those and she just attributed them to stress. But why Ayanami, what was it with that poor girl that just kept her in Ritsuko's blank spots. "Keep an eye on her," her instincts forced her to say, "I don't know why, but keep an eye on her." This wasn't a lover's quarrel or fear of replacement, Ritsuko knew better. Getting out of her seat, she patted it and offered it to Maya, "I have to go tell Misato the bad news, could you finish these tests for me?"
Taking the seat, Maya wiggled into it with a content sigh, "You going to tell Katsuragi-san about us finally? The rumor mill is running rampant and in all directions." Maya took over where Ritsuko left off, with Asuka's update. A frown crested that childish face, deep and troubled with good reason. While not dropping further, Asuka was not increasing either. There had been a brief spike, correlating to Shinji's recovery, followed by a plunge again. The Second Child was not doing well, and it wasn't looking like it'd change anytime soon. "That poor girl, anything we can do for her?" Maya's bleeding heart was hemorrhaging.
Putting her coat back on, Ritsuko gave Maya a small hug from behind, "Nothing can be done. It's in her head, and we can only keep telling her that and hope she listens. But she only listens to who she wants to." Soryu trapped herself in a box of pride and isolationism and until she broke out of it no changes would happen. Reveling in the warmth of that young body, they had shared a bed a few days ago for the first time as well, she squeezed a little harder. With a peck on the cheek, "If I have time I will let Misato know. So when you hear the gunshot, you know who it is. Wish me luck."
"You're being melodramatic again," Maya was quick to dismiss. Maya didn't know Misato like Ritsuko did, didn't see the crazed zeal Misato capable of. Ignorance was bliss, it truly was. Murmuring contently in the hold of her lover, Maya worked and just rolled her eyes as Ritsuko groaned in aggravation. "Shin-chan proved you were wrong about your fears for him, and I'm sure Katsuragi will prove you wrong again. Though I don't mind if you're wrong…from time to time," Maya tittered at some private memory.
If only Maya saw Misato chasing down women in college accusing them of being with Kaji behind her back, then she'd know better. Ritsuko had seen that, seen how Misato took to defending what was hers, and it worried her. Shinji was, as funny as Ritsuko realized, Misato's child or at the very least property now. And telling Misato that her boy was in a relationship with two older women…a sexual relationship. "Maybe I should get vest or something?" Ritsuko asked as she neared the bridge, "Nah, she'd go for the head anyway." It was how Misato operated, go for the sure thing when you could.
"Something I should be aware of?" Kaji asked as he popped his head over Ritsuko's shoulder. Giving her a small jump, he laughed and held his pack of smokes out to her and flinched his head towards the break area. "If you're looking for Misa-chan, she's waiting for us over there. Said you had something to tell her," Kaji waited for her to take a smoke, when she didn't he put them away. Man couldn't be happier if he tried, not surprising. He was making waves in data gathering thanks to Ritsuko's subterfuge, and the rekindling of his romance with Misato was well known to everybody that knew where to look.
All it would take to steal the find from Kaji's sails would be to tell him about Asuka, but Ritsuko held her tongue. Kaji didn't trust her, knew more about her than most thanks to her data leakage, and upsetting him lost its charm. "Just wondering how Misato's going to take my news on a side project I'm working on," she snickered. Shinji and Maya as a side project, she saw herself in a modified version of her labcoat, cut to show off her curves, as she taught her 'students' about one another. "You know how she gets when Shinji-kun is involved, it's like she's in love with him," she had to goad Kaji, even if just a little.
"You won't get me this time with that," Kaji waggled his finger, but that leery expression staid on his face as they found Misato. Kaji was a skilled liar, but Ritsuko was used to dealing with worse. Gendo and Fuyutski could tell you the sky was green and make you second guess your eyes. Some men would never be fully trusting of other men, once a cheater always a cheater…and you'd suspect others of the same. "Look who I found wandering about, just like you thought she would," Kaji gestured to Ritsuko like a prize.
Rolling a can of soda in her hands, it was sealed and the pensive look Misato was sporting telling. "Took your time finalizing that report on Unit-01 and Shinji-kun, going to finally tell me about it?" Misato was not playing or being coy. When Kaji went in for a little sugar, Misato put a hand up and kept him at bay. This was work time, and work and play were separate today as per orders of Major Katsuragi. Putting the can in the center of the table, the forth chair stayed open and yet Misato stared at it, "So what do you have for us, Ritsuko?"
"Somebody woke up in the wrong bed this morning," Ritsuko wanted to see Misato react. It didn't happen, Misato was in full on military mode, and was not taking any bait. Lovely, a focused and aggressive Misato was quite the dangerous opponent. Taking the can, a cola, she opened it and drank it, "It's mostly good news Misato so you can relax. Yes, Shinji-kun is showing some strange readings from the event." They kept the actual details secret still, nobody had to know the true strange facts. Finding the room empty, did they plan for this she wondered, she continued, "If anything he's healthier now than he was before."
Taking the can back, Misato looked at it and then set it back down, "So what about Unit-01 and the new regs about Ayanami?" Misato hadn't instantly backed down after hearing about Shinji, she really was in full on Major-mode. "The commander has Unit-01 on permanent lock-down, and after what you said before…tell use more?" Misato and Kaji shared a look, Kaji was telling her things.
"Unit-01 will likely only work with Ikari-kun now, and with the S2 engine it'll be fully self-powered," Ritsuko just laid it out. Tell them both the exact truth of the matter and let them accept it however they want. "As for Ayanami, you have to ask the commander about that. I requested she be kept on base, not let go. He let her go. I want her reviewed, he doesn't. Ayanami is showing more signs of mental instability, I think she'd do better while under constant observation, the commanders don't," Ritsuko wasn't sure what to think of Rei, or what the girl had become. Rei wasn't fully human, that Ritsuko knew already, but current Ayanami was more angel than human.
Her head went down for a second, her hair falling over and blocking any visual queues, but Misato did snicker a little. "And here I thought you'd try to hide behind technobabble or avoid it," Misato did fix herself up a little and grinned. "Thanks for telling me, really puts me at ease, even if it's not all good news. Well now that we've went over the bad…how about you tell me about the good then? Any truth in those rumors about Ibuki and you?" Misato's hand went under the table, and Ritsuko saw Kaji do the same.
"Yeah, we've been hearing a lot of odd things. Some people saying they saw Ibuki and you being awfully chummy lately, but then they've been saying the same about Ikari-kun and her. So what is the deal?" Kaji's smug grin was distressing. He was just reveling in this, Misato's shift in her position on relationships.
Stealing back Misato's soda, she drained it and the carbonation upset her stomach. It wasn't as fearful as talking to Gendo, but for some reason Ritsuko felt herself tremble. Was this what meeting the parents was like? Taking a deep breath, she just went all in, "Both are right actually."
Misato and Kaji paused to drink that in, Kaji was confused while Misato's brow hardened and a flair of rage swelled in her. "She's cheating on him? What the living fuck is that? And you know this? After the shit he's been through already regarding relationship," she gripped the table and the veins in her hands were throbbing, shoving the table she got up and marched about to Ritsuko's side. "Explain, use small words too," Misato grabbed Ritsuko's coat.
"I might have misspoke," Ritsuko re-evaluated her statement and saw the missing link. With how she said it, Misato had every reason to be upset…now time to give her more reason. "What I meant was…Maya was with Shinji-kun and me…and we all know it as he's…with me too," the air was heavy as Misato's grip tightened. "Misato, did you hear me, all three of us are…together," she waited for the outcome…no more worries and thinking about it. All the scenarios she ran, all the potentials evaluated over and over again in her head with how she'd react to each ready to go.
Grabbing the other half of Ritsuko's coat with her other hand, Misato drew Ritsuko off the chair, "You what? What the fuck are you playing at? Ritsuko he's young enough to almost be…and both of you? I…I don't know how I feel about this, not in the slightest. But if you're just teasing him, playing with him…you will not want to get in my way." Misato let go of the coat and walked off, Kaji quickly tailing behind him, yet he did not look happy at all. He definitely didn't like what he heard.
Quivery a little, her adrenaline pumping through her, Ritsuko sat back down heavily. "When she gets her heckles up…I just hope she doesn't take it out on him," Ritsuko tried drinking from the empty can. It was just a motion to move through, but she didn't care. "I should call him up…let him know I told her," Ritsuko already had her phone out and left Shinji a message. She had faith he'd be able to survive hurricane Misato, he'd dealt with it before, and she had confidence in her man.
X-X
When he agreed to take his role as the mole in Nerv, Kaji never expected some of the lower parts of the job. No stranger to life threatening risks, sitting on a toilet with an earpiece listening to the commanders' talk was not one he pictured. Crawling in vents, hacking into the computer system, or trailing some of the easier to corrupt leaders were on his level, not this. Slacks around his ankles, he sat with one elbow on his knee and leaned into his palm. Oh so dangerous and life threatening, but it was the last of the info he really needed.
"We should be ready for SEELE to act against us for this. They'll want to know what happened to Unit-01 and its pilot. If they can't get the pilot they will go for a command staff that has the info," Gendo's static laden voice jostled Kaji out of his near doze.
Jotting down the notes on a small slip of paper, Kaji pulled the bud out and wrapped it in toilet paper. The command staff that officially knew of truth of the absorption event was the commanders and Ritsuko, that was a short list. Dropping the earbud in the bowl and flushing it, he pulled his pants up. Now came the unpleasant part, he rolled up the paper with all his notes, wrapped it in a tight sealing plastic cling wrap and inserted it in the one place he couldn't easily be searched. Another part of the spy game he was not happy with, but it worked.
"Now I just have to get out and get to the drop-off in time, not a hard thing," Ryouji squirmed after his little insertion. When Misato was feeling frisky and a little quirky she'd stick a finger up there or really dirty her tongue, he did the same to her so all fair play, this was not like that. But if he got stopped for random security searches they'd not check there. Leaving the bathroom, nobody was in it thankfully, he wandered the base towards the exit in a roundabout manner, always leave a false trail. Making a small walk past the test chambers, his mind plagued with other doubts, he let out a deep breath, "Oh damn she looks bad."
Walking his way down the hall were two people Kaji did not want to see right now, each were individuals he needed to talk to in better times. Asuka and Shinji were together and in their plug-suits and they both saw him. How to approach this, they both knew he was back with Misato as they weren't very careful about it. Asuka, that insufferably special girl just appeared haggard and angry. One of his notes wiggling around in his behind stated Gendo wanted the Fifth Child brought in to replace her soon if she didn't improve. And that boy, so close to Misato at times it worried Kaji, was the focus of SEELE's interest and likely under the thumb of Gendo's pawn. He waved at both of them and smiled his best smile, "Hey you two, doing alright?"
"Oh, afternoon Kaji-san we're doing good," Shinji at least looked and sounded truthful. From the rollercoaster of emotions he was put on over the last few months, he was stabilizing again. As they walked towards the man, Shinji was jilted to a stop as Asuka grabbed his hand and yanked him to a stop. She leaned in close, far closer to a boy than Ryouji was used to her getting, spoke in hushed words, and set Shinji back down the hall away from Kaji.
Standing defiantly before him, arms crossed, hair listless and oily, and large circles under her eyes, Asuka bore down on Kaji with a dull fury. "What do you want from us, Kaji?" deadpan, so unlike the vibrant soul Ryouji met in Germany.
Holding his hands up, he shifted his weight as the tube poked awkwardly, Ryouji mentally groaned, "Just to see how my favorite pilot is doing, and ask Ikari-kun how his recovery is doing." The incident in his office still played on his mind, it haunted him at how poorly he handled that. If the girl was older, sixteen at the bare minimum, maybe things would have been different. But she was just to young, and his heart did belong to Misato, two powerful strikes against the young woman. Moving closer to her, but keeping out of punch range, "How are you doing Asuka, sleeping well?"
"Don't talk to me like you care," Asuka re-crossed her arms the other way, tighter this time. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she tapped her foot, and her teeth bore in a vicious snarl. Taking one large and aggressive step towards him, her arms hoisting up her young breasts for his eyes to see, "Why are you bothering us? You never do anything without some benefit in mind, so who are you hoping to charm, him or me?"
The light captured Asuka's fine features perfectly, the swell of her chest and the plastic of the plugsuit accentuated her form, and Kaji had to take a step back. She had lost weight, the suit was hanging on to her even when pressurized. "I'm worried about you, Asuka…Soryu-kun," that withering look she gave him forced him to correct his words. He had burnt that bridge and it was going to take time to fix it, but he would. "Are you sleeping well? Eating? You've looking far to thin, Shinji-kun not around enough to feed you?" he teased. Asuka didn't cook unless she had to, and Shinji was known to be quite the little cook.
"He's been busy with his new girlfriends, but Shinji's been making me lunches," if Asuka was eating them or not was the question. Moving closer again, dangerously close, Kaji found himself pressed against the wall. As other Nerv officials walked by, looked at the pair, and frowned at Kaji's apparent enticement of a teenager. Leaning in close her breath steamed along his neck, "Leave us alone Kaji, go back to your whore if you have to, but leave us alone. Talk to him now, I'm going to ask him to tell me what you said, and then just…leave us alone. You've lost your privileges."
For a moment Kaji just paused fully terrified of the uneven gaze Asuka used to keep him in place. He cringed back against the wall, his head bounced off it, as she leaned in and gave his cheek a chaste kiss and she walked off. "What happened to you little girl, what happened?" Kaji rubbed the stubble she put her lips to. No emotion there, it was just flesh, and off she went. Seeing Shinji stumble around the corner, looking back confused at what could only be Asuka, Shinji rubbed his own cheek. His had a small red mark, that boy was Asuka's outlet it seemed. Waving at Shinji, "Sorry about setting her off on you Shinji-kun, how are you?"
"I'm doing good, really good really," Shinji shrugged a little. His face had a small welt, either a bite or a smack it was unknown, but he was smiling. Standing off to the side to let others walk by, he rubbed his bicep as he aimlessly looked about the hall. "W-what did you want to ask me about, Asuka said you needed me for something," he wouldn't keep his eyes on Kaji's, to squirrelly. What did Asuka say to him, what did she worn him about?
Sliding down the wall a little, the adrenaline oozing out of Ryouji as unease set in place, he ruffled Shinji's hair. Seeing the boy jump a little, "Heard a little rumor about you yesterday, wondering if there was any truth to it. You can trust me to keep a secret, and if you tell me the truth I might help coax Misato into your way of thinking." He wanted a smoke, so badly he wanted one, something to calm him down, take the bite out of his anxiety.
"Oh, you heard about that already. We wanted to keep it secret for a while, I wanted to keep it secret," Shinji squirmed a little. Watching through the window as Asuka talked to Makoto, more talked at him, and got into the plug he waved at her fondly. Slowly, a practiced and rehearsed set of lines, he relented, "Yes we are seeing each other, all of us. It was Ibuki-san's idea, and it seemed to silly at the time. I've had strong feelings for Akagi-san for a long while, not romantic but powerful, and Ibuki-san since we started hanging out outside of work. I'm just a kid…but they don't treat me like that, treat me like an equal. I just don't want this to get out and for them to get ridiculed over it."
New laws notwithstanding, people still had odd feelings of youth and adult pairings. Hell Ryouji didn't know his full opinion of it. If the younger was a male it was easier for him to accept, sexist he knew but Kaji wasn't a card caring feminist. "It's a tricky situation that's for sure. But I'm not here to judge you on that, all I want to know is…is this just a phase? You just using this to recover from the Tachibana girl leaving? I've had pick-up girls before, rebound relationships that don't last. Think this is one of them?" Kaji wasn't expecting this. He thought it was Ritsuko that set things in motion, not the mousy Ibuki!
"No, no we're not," Shinji's somber expression hardened into firm determination. Pushing himself off of the wall, he stood in front of Kaji and showed something very few ever saw, raw anger. "If anything, Sakura was a mistake…I was lonely after Rei-chan had her accident…after I lost her. What we're sharing now isn't some whim, not some joke or spur of the moment thing we just decided to try. Maya-chan had to work hard on each of us to get us to agree to it. Do you know…do you know what Ritsuko-san had to suffer through in her last relationship? Do you? Do you care? Or is this what Asuka said…you just using us?" Shinji did take something from his father. Boy was intimidating as hell when he wanted to be.
It wasn't fear or even worry that Kaji felt when he saw Shinji stand up to him, it was pride. This boy, correction man, was not the timid child the initial reports made him out to be. "Just worried is all, Shinji-kun. I'm worried about a great deal, but not you…not anymore," Kaji held his hand out smiling. Shinji took it uncertainly and shook it with a firm grip regardless. "Won't say I agree with your decision, but I don't have to, not mine to make. Just be careful, Ritsuko is important to me," well she had been, before Gendo. Kaji would keep an eye out for them, do a little more probing, but this wasn't looking like Shinji was being led by the dick.
"That's right, it isn't your decision it's ours," Shinji's hardness left yet the confidence remained. Battered by young love ended far to soon, bounced around by others interests, and finally settling into a very strange relationship, Shinji learned from the past and wasn't controlled by it any longer it seemed. Taking a few steps towards the test chamber, "Was there anything else, Kaji-san, or can I get going with my tests?"
Waving him back towards him, Ryouji made a split second choice, "One last thing, two little favors I'd like to ask that you'd do regardless." Kaji could feel the noose tightening around his neck the longer things went on. His use to Gendo was nearing its end, and when that happened his protection was gone.
Damn even his own contacts at the JSDF had almost all the info he could give, once he unplugged himself and handed over his missive. Wrapping an arm around Shinji's shoulder, the boy tensed, and he pulled in close, "Look after Asuka for me? She's…special to both of us, only she talks to you now and not me. Keep her from hurting herself. And…if anything happens to me take care of Misato, alright? She needs somebody to look over her, as you no doubt know."
"I hope it doesn't come to that, Kaji-san, but if it does," Shinji just nodded and freed himself from the little hold. Walking over to the window, Shinji put his hand to the window over Asuka's tank and leaned his head against it. His head bounced off the Plexiglas twice, "As for Asuka, I keep trying but she's not making it easy. At times she seems to want to talk…to let me in, and others she just doesn't." He rubbed that little love wound she gave him and walked off without another word.
Standing there for a few minutes, Kaji watched as Shinji got in the tube next to Asuka's and the test started. Hard not to notice the third empty tank, just where was Ayanami and her hybrid nastiness at right now? They were keeping Rei away from the others, for what reason Kaji wanted to know, but he knew enough. She was a monster, one that would have to be taken down somehow, but after the issue of the beast in the basement was dealt with. His watch beeped, time to go, he dropped the subterfuge and just walked out of the base in a straight line.
Taking his car to the dive bar they had set up for the drop off, Kaji parked his old and patchwork car and sat in it. Windows up above him, alleys, other cars, and so many other potential points of attack, would they strike this time? Getting out of the car, the door squealed loudly, and he had to slam his whole body against it to force it shut. Inside the bar, two patrons sat at the actual counter with a bartender that was about his age and she looked tired and bored. Four pm wasn't the optimal time for drinking, yet she went to the woman and ordered a rum and coke. Flashing his best smile he slide her a note over told her to keep the change and he found a booth that had the cushions torn out.
"Mind if I sit with you, it's lonely today," his contact was a woman this time, the JSDF loved to keep him guessing. She sat without waiting for his go-ahead, and set her glass down next to his. "So how have you been, Ryouji-kun, been to church lately?" she said the keywords as expertly as any male agent.
Taking a deep and strong drink, Kaji flicked the side of the wooden booth with his free hand, "Oh I've never missed a Sunday." She relaxed as he replied correctly and she peeked about the bar. Kaji picked the corner booth with the least amount of exposure.
"Couldn't you have picked a place where I could have drunk this without it being mostly water or spiked?" the woman grumbled as she pulled an envelope from the inside of her business suitcoat. Sliding it across the table, "I've good news for you Kaji-kun, very good news indeed."
Ripping open the paper, Kaji pulled out the papers and read the notice and then re-read it. "Wait I don't understand? I'm being called back? I haven't gotten all the information yet! Even with what I have on me now it's not all of it. If you pull me out, I can't go back, I'll be fully exposed!" Kaji wasn't ready for this yet, he still had shit to do! He hadn't even told Misato yet about his duplicity! He only had the change to give her the barest of information with his little pill trick! "I need more time," he seethed.
Drawing a small pistol from her coat she pointed it at Kaji with a small shrug, "Not this time cowboy, your run is done. Don't make this hard, if you don't leave with me they'll think you sided with Nerv because of the Katsuragi woman. This is for the future of humanity, for all of us, not just her and you." She flinched the barrel at the door before putting it back in her coat.
"I know…I know," Kaji was beside himself with rage but he couldn't fight against it. This woman was right, Nerv and SEELE needed to be stopped, and making a stupid choice now could really ruin everything. Sliding out of the booth, the drank the whole of his drink in one gulp and walked out into a waiting car…great…just great. He'd have to try and explain to them to let him back in, to not do this. He hoped they listened, that they didn't pull the plug on him permanently.
X-X
Sitting at her desk, Asuka just couldn't get herself to care about the old man prattling on. It was all bullshit, all of it, and yet they had to sit here and take it. Well maybe the lesser people would, she wasn't going to even hint at listening. Things in her life had more meaning, she had a higher purpose, if only she could reclaim it all. Getting her score back to what it was, giving herself that meaning and purpose again, was more important than this insipid propagation of a lie. It wasn't an asteroid that instilled her with purpose, it was her enemy.
Snickering at that, Asuka saw Hikari turn around to look at her and put a finger to those plain thin lips. Hikari would treat her better than the others, Asuka wouldn't get called out for not paying attention or making noise. It was good to have friends, all two of them that she had, and she wouldn't abuse them. Her enemies did give her purpose those, and that meant she had greater and greater purpose. And she had greater hate, it was growing in her like a cancer or boil that couldn't be removed. Aside from Shinji and Hikari, hatred was spread equally to and from Asuka and all she knew.
Pulling out a sheet of paper, she jotted down a few names just to keep herself awake. Boring school was just trying to put her to sleep and was working wonderfully at its job. Misato and Kaji were atop the list with the description of betrayers, that was a cardinal sin wasn't it? Ritsuko and Maya were thieves, stealing her friend from her, but she let them off easy for that. Shinji needed somebody, and it seemed to be working well for him, just…selfishly Asuka would have liked him around the apartment more. More and more names were added to that little list with a one or two word variant on why they offended Asuka.
"But they don't matter, nothing matters really," Asuka dug her pencil into that page and it tore in half. Oops, to much strength again. She had to be careful, accidents like this kept happening and Shinji or Hikari would notice. If they noticed they'd comment, try to help, and get in closer. By doing that Asuka knew she'd be tearing them away from their significant others. The cripple, the shrew, and the boy-girl what a lovely group of inferior product that stole her friends time. Balling up the paper, less somebody see it and mistake it of for some sort of cry for help, "You'd think they could do better. My friends deserve better."
They didn't though, as much as Asuka was loath to accept, her friends were happy with mediocrity. Shinji though, Asuka would agree, had reason to want something more stable. Rei went all sex crazy and then just crazy, the waif of a rich girl Sakura turned coward and weak willed, and now older women that were more stable. Hikari was just a product of low self-esteem thinking that ex-jock was the best she could get. "I won't push them though, I tried Hikari and it didn't work," she muttered. Hikari didn't hear her, the class-rep was getting up and out of her seat.
"Everybody, stand, bow. Ikuhara and Toshio are on clean-up duty today, dismissed," Hikari's rich voice was drowned out by the din of energy the class erupted in. The typical mass exodus occurred as it did daily. Students gathered their stuff and quickly formed up into groups and departed to parts unknown, and to Asuka uncared for. Once Hikari finished her duties, handing printouts to students to take to missing ones, she returned to her desk and started packing up. "So what are you up to today? Tests?" Hikari cast a sidelong glance at Asuka.
Still sitting, Asuka just slowly packed up her stuff. She wasn't going to bother with homework, it wasn't something she cared about anymore. What good were school grades when she already had college degrees? It was just a yoke Misato put on her to control, and Asuka wasn't somebody's pack mule. "No tests today. Was thinking of going out for dinner or something later. Going to give Shinji a day without me. I've been bugging him a lot the last few days. What about you?" Asuka watched closer.
Hikari couldn't lie to Asuka, not in the slightest. Tugging on one of her pigtails with her right hand, she went pensive, "I was going to go visit Touji today, but…" She tapered off and that look worsened, something happened since Asuka last pressed this issue, something bad. Picking up her bag, "Want some company for supper? I'd need to go home and make food for my sisters before I head out though."
"We can just meet at Anne Millers if you want, been wanting to try that place," Asuka offered simply enough. Family wasn't something Asuka understood anymore, she didn't want to think about that word. Her mother was dead, her father abandoned her, and her step-family never understood…and her surrogate family was a bastard. Grabbing her bag, "Sound good? If you HAVE to you could call that spore and let him know you're not going to be there."
Blinking quickly, Hikari just nodded, "Oh yeah, sure sounds good! I'll give you a call once I'm ready to head out. But Millers? Isn't that a maid café or something?" Hikari wasn't expecting such an earnest and forthcoming response. Scanning the students in the room, eyes finding something Hikari's lips curled up just a little, "Going to walk home with Ikari-kun? He's talking to Aida so I think he's waiting for you. Either of you want to take Ayanami's print-outs?"
"I'll take them," Asuka grabbed them and stuffed them into her bag. Those were going right in the trash, Ayanami wasn't going to be receiving any visits from either pilot. Over the last few weeks since Shinji's return, Asuka had made a point of keeping Rei away from him whenever she had the opportunity to. That evening she saw Rei pressing Shinji against the door, far more amorous than Asuka liked, she made a vow be a thorn in that girl's side. Nerv started to help with that too, so that was one of the few good things. "And I think I'll go on my…" Shinji and she made eye contact.
Kensuke following him, Shinji hurried over to the talking pair and waved, "Ready to go home?" It was there again, that worry and concern. Shinji had something on his mind, he couldn't mask his emotions at all.
"Yeah, but Hikari and I are going out for supper so you don't have to worry about me," Asuka tossed her bag over to him to carry. If he was going to escort her home he could make himself useful, she teased. Despite herself she felt herself warm to the fact he made a beeline to her and wanted to stick with him and that he cared about her. Both Hikari and Shinji stood side-by-side concern and a hint of happiness on their faces…yes these were the two. Walking past the two of them, separating them, "If you ask nicely I might bring you back some left-overs."
Joining her, Shinji and Hikari fell in step and Kensuke took to Shinji's side, "Guess I'll make something small today, everybody is at Nerv today." Shinji never did tell the others about his new relationship status, not wanting to look odd to them. Asuka knew, he actually asked her if it was a bad idea for him to try yet. Asuka gave her his blessing, and pushed him over the edge to try.
"Oh Ken-chan, Shinji-kun! There you two…oh," Chidori came running then stopped when she saw Asuka. That little firebrand had been far more timid around Asuka since the attack. "Ken, you want to go to some karaoke or something. You're welcome to come too Shinji-kun," timid and lacking the girl's normal passion and zeal.
Just to antagonize the girl more, Asuka linked arms with Shinji and leaned against him. "Well I don't mind if you go with them today. But you'll have to pay for it, a girl doesn't like to hear her man is off singing with another girl," Asuka tapped her finger on Shinji's nose. She teased and played with him, but also did it to remind him. Chidori wasn't to be trusted, she was always trying to do or trick somebody. Maya and Ritsuko would need to be cared for too.
"You want to go with them, Asuka?" Hikari asked a little leading, "Maybe we could go out after we eat." Trying to keep Asuka occupied, give Asuka something else to do to relax.
Latching onto Kensuke, Chidori just shook her head slowly, "Sorry Hokari, but no. We both know that isn't going to work. Soryu, you can go be crazy on your own, be a bitch on your own, and stop polluting us with your insanity. Sakura called me and told me what you did. She's in England now, thanks to you, her dad had her put in a boarding school. She's dead to me now." Pulling Kensuke away from Shinji who had been conversing with Shinji, their conversation just ended as Chidori played the ownership card.
"Thanks for that Asuka," Shinji gently freed himself but stayed close to her, "I don't really want to hang out with her. But Kensuke's been depressed lately and she's not making it easy on him." They left the school and lapsed into gentle conversation. Nothing was serious, television, school rumors, and how Hikari's siblings were doing. Waving at the girl as they parted company, "Take care Hokari-san, tell your sisters I said hi." Hikari had mentioned a few times how Nozomi had a little crush on the boy she never met.
Alone with Shinji, Asuka let out a heavy sigh, "I think she's going to break if off with Suzuhara. You see the look on her face?" Asuka knew it was going to happen eventually. If she had to she'd lean on Ritsuko to have Touji moved away. Knowing the doctor was with Shinji and they were trying to keep it a secret gave Asuka leverage. Extra time in the test plug, information she wasn't supposed to have, and maybe freeing Hikari from a life tending to a sad sack. Taking his hand, she needed something calming, "Have you tried talking to him?"
Reaffixing his grip, their fingers intertwined, Shinji's palms were a little swampy, "No I haven't. I don't know how to face him after the accident. Haven't seen Mari-chan either, what do I say to either of them for that? I might not have been the one in control, but I didn't do anything to stop it." Shinji's head dipped, some mental block coming up. "You sure you don't want me to make you something when we get home? Maya-san and Ritsuko-san do have to work tonight. Misato-san…I don't know," Shinji shrugged.
"Why care about her, let Kaji take care of her, all he's good for, her too for that matter," Asuka's grip went hard. That was all Kaji did it seemed, fuck Misato and make Asuka disappointed in humanity. Her dreams of romance were dead, Kaji put the bullet in them when he burrowed into Misato's cunt. Hearing Shinji flinch, she let go of him took a quick look at her hand and saw the glimmer of red on them, "She's not the woman you think she is, Shinji. Katsuragi, you can see it now if you look. Where has she been since you got back? I saw her while you were gone, and even the day you got back…" Not one day back and Misato was already off with Kaji, that bitch just didn't deserve what she got.
Shinji was silent for a little while as they walked, shaking his hand his stuffed them in his pocket. "She's under a lot of stress, Asuka. We all deal with stress oddly," that was as far as he'd defend. They walked the rest of the way to the apartment in silence.
But Asuka knew, Asuka knew that Shinji was disappointed with Misato just like she was. He wouldn't say it though, Shinji was to polite to call Misato out on her bullshit! She knew it though, Asuka knew it through. He was like her, tired of putting up with people's garbage! Grabbing both bags once they got into the apartment, "Get me a soda? And maybe you should go out with Kensuke, get you out of the apartment. Not like that bitch can do anything now that Tachibana isn't in country anymore."
If Shinji was at the apartment, Rei could come over when Asuka wasn't there to keep her away. Everybody was trying to take away what little joy Asuka had in life, Misato stole Kaji, Touji stole Hikari, and Rei was trying to take not only Shinji but Asuka's status as best pilot.
Tossing the bags into her room, Shinji could go into it to get his when he needed it, Asuka jumped onto the couch and turned the television on. Watching an insipid teen drama, were kids really that stupid around her and she just didn't have to put up with it? "You coming or what Shinji?" Asuka kicked her feet up on the coffee table. She patted the couch next to her when he did finally show up, and shocked her with a cold can to her neck, "Jerk!"
"Turn about fair play," Shinji teased and sat on the chair next to the couch. They just sat and watch television, Shinji had that look on his face, he was going to say something…something Asuka didn't want to hear. "Hey Asuka…how are you…" he started.
She didn't want to hear it, not now, she took her phone out of her pocket and her hand up. "Yeah, what is it Hikari? Oh…alright…you sure?...fine be right there," she faked her conversation. Getting up she put the phone away, "Sorry, Hikari wants to do some window shopping before we go out to eat. Talk to you later!" she all but ran out the door. He would just make things awkward if he pushed now, why ruin a good thing! So Asuka just walked around the town until Hikari called an hour later and they met to eat. It was over to fast and then Hikari did leave…so rather than go home and see Shinji she kept walking until late in the evening. When she did get home, she found him sleeping on the couch…good…no Ayanami. But there was an odd smell in the air of the apartment, but she couldn't place it.
"Just being stupid, stupid," Asuka went to her room, pulled out her little friend and retired to the bath to alleviate some stress. Shinji was still sleeping when she got out, so she stood over him and watched him sleep for awhile. Everything was fine, the accidental dribble from her toy that landed on him he wouldn't notice or care.
X-X
Tapping her foot impatiently, Misato wasn't really listening to Shigeru as he went over the repair order. Today was just a really bad day so far, and it didn't look to be improving at all. Asuka was just repellent this morning, pouring out the coffee before she had a cup, traffic was horrible, and everything at Nerv was just a pain. Angry city officials demanding her time, technicians were having issues with Unit-00 that was having some odd activation issues, and now Shigeru demanded her attention. All she wanted to do was sit down in with Shinji and talk with him, get to know what really was happening with her boy.
"Unit-01 is finally ready for activation again, but the commander is still holding the order it in status," Shigeru said with a little yawn, the pains of early morning shifts. Other staffers were mulling about their business, some paid attention to whatever they said, but the majority of people just didn't care.
Nodding her head as he spoke, Misato didn't really hear the words her mind was elsewhere. Kaji stood her up last night and wasn't responding to her calls, jerk. She had wanted to talk to him about the whole Ritsuko situation. Knowing what she did about her friend's past, Misato didn't want to add problems to Ritsuko…but Shinji was her boy and this just felt wrong. Ritsuko was just using him, had to be, as some coping mechanism and that would only end in pain. Hell she couldn't even talk to Shinji about it, poor kid had been racked over the coals enough in regards to relationships she couldn't add more to it.
"Maya though, that isn't that bad," Misato drummed her fingers under her chin. Maya was fairly young, spunky little thing, and selfishly Maya didn't have the tainted past. Nodding to her logic, she'd try talking to Maya or something, Misato felt the back of Shigeru's hand lightly bouncing off her stomach. "What is it?" she snapped at the man.
Not buying it, Shigeru just kept pointed at his monitor, "Katsuragi-san, you're not paying attention to me and this is important. Maya has nothing to do with Unit-01's cryo-freeze, or the Second Child's sync report. So are you going to listen to this or am I going to have to call Akagi-san over and have her talk to you?" The man just didn't play along as well as Makoto did, well as well as Makoto used to. Aoi changed that in Makoto, made him more focused, made him less willing to break himself to appease Misato.
"Sorry, sorry just a lot on my mind right now. Could you…tell me again?" Misato offered a weak pleading smile. Shigeru rolled his eyes and let out a joyless laugh before going over all of the details again, this time he would prod Misato if her attention seemed to fade. "We are getting false activation reports from Unit-00, to the tech's they say it's starting up without any plug inserted and then stopping. The test reports from yesterday has the Second Child stable but only barely above the threshold for activation. And lastly…Unit-01 is good to go, Ikari-kun is back to his old high score, and yet the Commander has Unit-01 on lock-down. So we have two problem situations and one good pilot and unit combo we can't use," a grime situation indeed, one Shigeru was right to force Misato to hear.
Great, just great, even more bad news, with a nod she shut her eyes and groaned, "Thanks, I'll try to talk to the commander about letting Unit-01 be used until we can get something done about either Unit-00 or Asuka." Misato gave Shigeru's shoulder a few pats and headed off to the commanders office. A bum pilot and a bum Eva how could things get worse? Oh that's right, have the only good pilot be at the beck and call to somebody Kaji warned her was not fully trustworthy. "But Ritsuko hasn't lied to me, well not that I know of," and the lack of details Ritsuko had Misato understood the reasons for. Well…what she knew at least.
Standing before the massive doors to Commander Ikari's office, Misato still had that sense of trepidation she had the first time she was here. How far the apple fell from the tree with this family? Shinji was a caring boy that just screamed 'look at me' and was fun to tease, Gendo…intimidated the fuck out of Misato. Reaching for the door, Misato felt the handle collide with her fingers as the door opened abruptly and smashed into her. "Ah mother fucker!" she daintily exclaimed as she pulled her hand to her body and cradled it, "A little warning next time!"
"Oh, Misato," Rei said as she skipped out of the office and shut the door, "what are you doing here?" The girl waved back and forth on the balls of her feet, her school uniform fluttered about wildly.
Flexing her hand a few times, nothing felt broken but damn did it hurt, Misato blinked the pain tears out of her eyes. More gruff than usual, Misato was short with the teen, "I should be asking you that Ayanami. Shouldn't you be at school?" Shaking her hand a few times, Misato felt her fingers throbbing, but looking at Rei the pain faded. This wasn't a normal girl, this was something far from the standard. "And if you must know, I'm here to talk to the commander about the lockdown on Unit-01," Misato didn't want this girl in an Eva ever again.
"Oh, I wanted to talk to Gendo about getting my old apartment back permanently. Paperwork is always such a chore isn't it?" Rei giggled a little as her head slowly waved like a metronome. There was something primitive about how her head moved, like an ancient predator sizing up its next meal. Her eyes seemed to dance, alive with fire, but then she shut those orbs put her hands up and sighed, "But he's not here. Neither is Kozo, bet they're off together or something. I'll have to talk to them later."
Did Rei just refer to the commanders' by their first names? Misato was aghast by that little breach from little miss proper. Then again Rei hadn't been herself since the accident, the sex and the attitude being the least of her changes. "If they're not here, why were you in his office, Ayanami? You know you're not allowed in there on your own, not even I can do that," Misato twitched a little. Her hand went to her jacket and tugged on it, she felt the weight of her sidearm there…maybe she could just…
"Oh that's not anything to be troubled over. I've been in there all the time, they don't mind," Rei's eyes popped open. Hypnotizing, that gaze was positively hypnotizing as Rei's empty smile washed over Misato. So energetic despite the miasma it was spewing, "You can go in and wait if you want, but when they're gone it's hard to know when they'll be back. As for school, I don't feel like going there anymore. With all the children leaving it's a waste of time. I'd rather spend more time with him."
Fingers entwined with hair, Misato gripped at her head as she shambled over to the wall to lean against it. Tired, she suddenly was just so tired! "What are you talking about, Ayanami? Spend time with the commander?" Misato's thoughts were becoming muddy and thick. They were talking about Gendo and Kozo and how they weren't there, and now Rei was saying she wanted to spend time with 'him'? Shaking her head, clearing the fog out a little, "Or are you talking about Shinji-kun? When was the last time you were with him Ayanami?"
"Yesterday, was a lovely evening," Rei skipped past Misato and gently put her hand to the woman's back. Letting her fingers trail down Misato's spine, almost sensuously, the girl left her hand on the small of Misato's back for a moment before giving a little push. Spinning around and continuing to skip backwards, "But you shouldn't let that bother you, Katsuragi, it's not something for you to worry over."
Another wave of fatigue slammed into Misato as a wave, yet she held on. That touch, it was cold and alien, she didn't like it at all. Putting her open palm against the wall, she steadied herself after Rei's little push and continued back to the Commander's office and opened the door. "Maybe she's lying," about what Misato hoped everything. Rei had seen Shinji yesterday? That was bullshit! Shinji couldn't lie for his life, and he had told Asuka over breakfast he stayed in and watched television last night! Even without her coffee Misato could hear the conversation as she at her morning repast.
The office was just as large and cavernous as before, but it felt different Misato noticed. The strange electric feeling she had associated with that strange room and its eldritch markings was absent. "Sir, I'm here to talk to you about Unit-01's status, are you here?" it was clear he wasn't. Checking behind the desk, a fear that Rei did something to the man, was alleviated as the room truly was empty. Feeling like a child stealing into her parents room looking for elicit things, she couldn't help herself and opened one of the drawers in Gendo's desk. "Not a bad brand," Misato snickered as she found a bottle of brandy and nothing else. Go figure the man didn't leave anything important behind. Shutting the drawer she left the room, her energy coming back to her.
"Well that was strange, going to have to ask Shinji-kun about that when I get home," Misato didn't want to talk to him, feared it, but she had to. So many little things kept Misato away from the apartment, but it was wrong to do. Yes she had to learn the true secrets of Nerv, but what secrets were forming in her home while she was gone? A cold sense of dread stole her plans though, as she saw two armed men flanked by Nerv security walking her way, the Nerv men pointed at Misato and they all put hands on weapons, "What is this then?" she asked aloud.
With the Nerv guards flanking Misato with bashful looks, the formal officials stood with hand on their side arms. The taller man was gruff, "Katsuragi Misato?"
"Yeah, that's me. What is going on here?" Misato felt closed in as the three men and one woman closed in. Now they were all around her, the corners of a square with the man talking to her right in front of her. Was this a coup or something? They had issues with the government, getting funding was a pain, but this wasn't something she ever expected!
The man nodded at his partner and gave Misato a small salute, "Several hours ago Kozo Fuyutski was abducted from his residence. We have evidence that points at Ryouji Kaji. We request you come with us for now." The man gestured down the hallway towards the brig, his unspoken order was backed up as the woman behind Misato walked towards her forcing Misato to walk.
"I understand," Misato felt that cold sit in and steal all of her warmth. Taking out her badge and weapon she handed them to the man at her side. Kaji kidnapped the sub-commander, he was a plant…a spy. She had been duped by him, the man she was actually thinking she loved again and betrayed her. The guards didn't offer her solace or a sympathetic ear, they were with a possible accomplice.
Leading Misato to a small room, the man opened the door and gestured to the inside, "If you'd step inside, we'll keep you informed. Once you're innocence is proven we'll let you out." Without further ceremony they shut the door and left Misato incarcerated with her inner demons.
Finding the bench, and a ratty old magazine, Misato sat down and felt the crushing reality of events flood through her. Kaji was missing since yesterday, the sub-commander was gone, they believed Kaji was involved…and they didn't make those accusations lightly. It wasn't something she'd believe outright, but she always had that sneaking suspicion about Kaji. He always asked such leading questions, was almost around when things went wrong or strange. "And then I went and…" she felt the biting tears coming but kept them down. They were watching here, and she would not put on a show for them.
Minutes lead to hours, and Misato just sat on that bench with that ancient magazine. It was years old, and yet Misato read it to keep herself occupied. Delving into her mind was a bad option right now. All that was in her thoughts was Kaji's possible betrayal and the longer she waited the more it seemed likely. Why hadn't they found him unless he was hiding? What was up with Ayanami and those cryptic comments? Shinji and Asuka's problems that she'd been avoiding and running from…hiding from children and their needs behind the shield of duty.
"Just what am I doing…" Misato didn't know. Hours blurred together, Misato's stomach raged against her, but her mind wouldn't listen. When the door opened, it wasn't Kaji that greeted her with open arms and apology flowers, it was the same man that put her in. He handed her gun back and her badge, "So what is the situation?"
Leading Misato out of the brig, the man was still stone faced and hard, "Sub Commander Fuyutski has been returned. The JSDF agent Kaji has yet to be apprehended. But you are no longer under suspicion."
"JSDF," Misato mouthed the letters and just ghosted through the station. Whoever was on staff right now, Misato didn't care, nothing mattered. Kaji had been a double agent, he had been using her for information and access. All this time…for years she had sworn of relationships, sworn herself to her duty, and then Kaji came back. And just like last time he lied to her, used her, and left her holding the emotional bag. "He never cared…it's all been a lie again," she gripped her hands hard as anger grew.
The drive home had been peaceful at least, it was getting late just after suppertime she noticed, no food all day. Her rage kept her belly full. When she got home, the apartment was quiet. Shinji's shoes where there, but not Asuka's. For a moment Misato was about to call out to him, to Shinji, but saw the light flashing on her answering machine, and a note from Shinji saying her food was in the microwave. "Message then food then talk to him," Misato hit the button to hear the message.
It was Kaji, he was telling her his reasons for working with the JSDF…he said when they saw each other again he'd admit his feelings…Misato shattered. To much in one day, far to much…she was strong yes, but to much to fast and she just crumpled. Tears poured out of her eyes as she played the message again.
X-X
As Misato was being released from her day incarcerated, Shinji was mulling about the apartment. Thanks to the apartment being empty save for Pen-Pen and him, he was relaxing as best he could. Using Misato's stereo he had some nice classical music playing as he did some much needed cleaning. His time spent at Maya's or Ritsuko's did take a toll on his cleaning time. Clothing was piling up and junk wrappers had a way of breading in Misato's room. When he first moved in he avoided cleaning the older woman's room, but as time went on he took to tending to it as well.
"Wonder if she even notices," he asked Pen-Pen. The penguin just warked at him and continued to eat the fish Shinji made for him. All the dirty clothing Misato had hiding about, her dirty sheets…he noticed some stains that were definitely the result of Kaji's visits, and he just balled them up and took them to the washer. It didn't matter if Misato noticed his actions, he knew he did them and that made him happier. After starting the last load for the day, he started cooking, "Wonder where Asuka went to. You think I should try forcing her to talk to me Pen-Pen?"
Again the bird that followed him didn't answer and just waddled behind him. Asuka was being very confusing, and he didn't know how to take it. She was being a lot more touchy-feely with him, but not in a way that denoted romance, more somebody lost looking for aid. But whenever he tried to bring it up, she just left. Making extra, just in case when Asuka came back she was hungry, Shinji sighed in frustration. "Why don't you let me help you," he asked aloud. Where his life was getting better, it seemed Asuka's was going downhill fast. She just couldn't lower the walls long enough for his attempts to take root.
Time with Ritsuko and Maya was far exceeding his initial thoughts. Maya and her exuberance and Ritsuko's diligence and loyalty were something he hadn't known from Sakura. While his heart still bled for Rei, this was not the knee-jerk reaction that the nice but smothering Sakura relationship had been. Not perfect, he felt strange being so much younger than Ritsuko as she did the inverse, but they were getting over it. The first time they had sex, Shinji was so sure he'd make a fool of himself. Consider himself relieved when both of them were quite content. He was even happy to know Ritsuko had Maya around when he couldn't be, that woman deserved to be happy.
With his relationship status improving, Shinji tried to spend his extra time helping Misato and Asuka, to lesser success. Misato was just off with Kaji or gone, and when he did see her she was distracted or tired. Asuka was just…he didn't know but it worried him. Making a plate for his guardian, he covered it in cling wrap, put it in the microwave, set the time, and left a note by the phone. "Asuka will either come back while it's still warm or not come back," Shinji sat alone at the table. He'd have to thank Hikari for helping Asuka, she was a nice girl.
After eating and cleaning up the mess, Shinji just did his homework and mulled over everything. Misato was bothered by something, hopefully it hadn't been her finding out about the secret little relationship. Both Maya and Ritsuko seemed a little leery about being seen with him, so he was fine keeping things secret. "It'll get found out eventually," he wasn't worried about it though, exposed or not they'd not break up for that. Turning off the music, he put the clothing he washed back in the respective owners room and made Misato's bed. Asuka's room was foreboding, it wasn't the immaculately maintained sanctuary it used to be. More proof that she wasn't quite herself.
"I'll just go to bed early today," he yawned. With nothing happening his near constant stress just drained him and he climbed into his room. Plopping down he put his SDAT in and he just laid there. Phasing in and out of sleep for he didn't know how long, he heard the phone ringing and sat up. Starting to pull the sheets off, "If it rings again…" he looked at his cellphone. Was it an angel, was something wrong? When the line remained silent he laid back down, must not have been anything to important. Yawning a little, "Must have been Asuka calling…staying at Hikari's or something."
Waking again when the door shut with more slam, Shinji got up quickly. Shambling over to the door, rubbing the sleep out of his eye, he noticed it wasn't that late at all. Putting his ear to the door, he just listened, "Maybe she got in a fight with Kaji-san or Asuka's…" Asuka's temper was flaring quicker and brighter lately. A voice wafted filled the apartment, the answering machine, but he couldn't hear it well enough. Slowly and silently opening the door, Shinji stole out into the apartment. A loud thump made his heart jump, then he heard the machine again.
"What is going on," Shinji heard strange sounds coming from deeper in the apartment. Heading towards it, he came to a complete stop. Kneeling before the phone, well the remains of the phone as Misato found the need to break it, the woman's body was racked with sobs as she wailed unrestricted. For a few moments Shinji just stood there watching. Misato never cried like this, she never was weak, she was always strong…but this wasn't that. Misato was human…she had emotions that ran along the like of Shinji's.
His courage tested, if he went to her now and she didn't want to be seen she'd lash out angrily, but if was that what he wanted? Didn't she deserve somebody to be there with her when she was sad or at a low? Yes, she deserved better than crying alone on the floor. "Misato-san," he said softly as he touched her shoulder. That was all he was able to get out, not even a question, just her name and a soft touch before she acted.
"Shinji-kun!" Misato warbled out as she turned and pounced on him. Tackling the boy, her face stuck against his chest, she just cried and squeezed him as hard as she could. Laying atop the boy, she just murmured and made strange sounds as he stroked her hair and back. "He's gone," she eventually got out, but other than that she was silent. The full extent of that statement would have to wait until Misato recovered. After about twenty minutes, Shinji gently lead Misato to her room and helped put her in some sleep clothing.
Seeing Misato in just her undergarments was a momentary shock to Shinji, but one look at her face was proof she was not teasing. She was hurt and not caring, so he just helped her into something soft and nice and got her to lay down. "Sleep well, Misato-san, we can talk about this in the morning alright?" he asked with a soft touch to her cheek. Ritsuko needed this on occasion Shinji learned, when the façade broke and the raw emotion came through, a soft touch was just what the woman needed. That one touch was what lead to the one time Ritsuko and he made love so far.
"Don't leave," Misato demanded as she captured his hand and yanked him to her. Showing her dominance over the boy, she hugged him from behind and just held him. "Just sleep…and thank you," she sniffed harder and covered both of them with the fresh sheets. Kissing the back of her head, she showed her appreciation, and continued to crush and smother Shinji all night.
He was nearly suffocating thanks to the heat, but Shinji gladly suffered it to help Misato. In the morning, it was awkward though, she had her hands down his shirt and her legs wrapped around his in quite the amorous way. Squeezing out of her embrace, she woke and sat up confused for a few moments before reality came crushing back. "Are you feeling better Misato-san?" he asked knowing it was impossible.
"Some yeah," Misato rubbed at her disheveled hair. Finally taking stock in her state of dress, "Oh…about last night. S-sorry about, you know, being so…I don't know," she just sat there listlessly. The fire was back in her, but low and sputtering.
Shaking his head, Shinji got up and felt Misato' s hand quickly lash out and grab him, "We all have moments, Misato-san. I've had more than my fair share lately. Don't worry about it. Want me to go make us some breakfast?" He flinched his thumb towards the door. Maybe some nice food, a little coddling to get her over the hump, and then Misato would be ready to tell him the cause of all this.
"Not now, let's just stay here a little longer," Misato pulled Shinji back down to the futon. Her hands acted as they wanted, and her hands were behind Shinji's back, and her forehead pressed against his. Softly and overflowing with congealed emotion, "You have had some bad moments. If you want to be with Ritsuko and Maya…I hope it works out. But for right now…let's just lay here, and thank you." She closed her eyes and just lay there.
She knew? Misato knew about his relationship? But at the moment, all Shinji knew was Misato's breath was hot and smelled a little bad against his face, but she looked at peace. Things were bad, Misato and Asuka not the least of it. But if he was there for them, and they were there for him…maybe they could make it through this, maybe.
X-X
Authors notes
Trying to keep the relationship bit on the downlow right now and focus on the more important growing concerns. Again sorry for the delay, life is a pain from time to time. Hope you had a good 4th and good summer.
Ja Mata
Zentrodie