Chapter Twenty: Memory

Jackie inhales deeply and follows behind Jack as Adam settles back into his chair. Jack pulls his gun from his holster, cocking it and aiming it at the back of his head. "Talk to me, Adam." Jack demands. "If that's even your name."

Adam turns slowly and lets out a laugh. "What?"

"What are you doing, Jack?" Gwen laughs in disbelief.

"He's not who you think he is." Jack reported. "He's been feeding himself into our memories by touch."

"And when he does that," Jackie tacked on for good measure. "he distorts our memories. He changes who and what we are."

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Tosh questioned.

"He didn't exist until two days ago." Jack pointed out, his fingers gripping the gun tightly. Jackie should have been concerned about Jack blowing Adam's head off, but she wasn't, not this time.

"Can somebody tell me what's going on," Adam asked through his laughter. "please?"

"Shut up you!" Jackie snaps.

"Jack," Owen reasoned calmly. "we've known him for years. He is part of the team."

"No." Jack stated. "He just made you think that."

"I can't wait for you to get back to yourself Owen!" Jackie groaned. "I never thought I'd miss the old you, until I've seen this!

"Come on, Jack." Adam said, leaning forward to touch Jack's arm. Jackie's hand shot out, giving him an electric shock. Adam let out a curse and grabbed his stinging hand.

"Ah, ah," Jack said. "you don't get to me like that. and my wife will ensure that you keep those hands of yours to yourself."

"Or else you'll lose them," Jackie tacked on for good measure. "which, for me, won't be an issue detaching them from your wrists."

At that moment, Adam knew the game was up, but he was desperate to keep playing. "Jack, you know me. You recruited me three years ago."

"All I know is when I think of my team, I see you there. But I don't feel anything for you." Jack sneered. "No pride, no warmth. You, the one who I can confide in, the one who unburied the dead!" Jackie placed her hand on his shoulder, knowing that Jack's past was still torturing him. he calmed for a second. "And why would I confide in you first over my own wife? She can barely get much out of me, but somehow, in a matter of moments, you did!"

"Jack," Gwen suggested. "maybe you've just forgotten him, like I did with Rhys?"

"I should have spotted it then. That wasn't stress, that was him." everyone stared at Jack in shock. Ianto was standing by, quietly, surveying the scene. "By making us think we know him, he disturbs our real memories."

"And for creatures like me," Jackie stated. "it's almost enough to drive you insane! And there's nothing worse than knowing that you're going insane!" she shook her head. "And what you did to Ianto…God, you're sick! Making him think he'd killed two girls!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Adam insisted.

"And my wife," Jack spat at Adam. "you took her and turned her into this….thing that I barely recognized." That fury boiled up in Jack again as he grabbed a hold of Adam's shirt and hauled him to his feet. "I'm taking him to the Vaults!"

Jack shoved Adam in front of him, pointing the gun in his face as Adam protested. "Jack, this is ridiculous."

"Move!" Jack shouted and Adam reluctantly moved forward.

"No!" Tosh shouted as she grabbed her gun and pointed it at Jack.

"Tosh," Owen pleaded. "that's not gonna help."

"It's fine." Jackie said as she brought her hands up and placed a protective bubble around Tosh. "She's confined." Tosh fired the gun once and the bullet rolled off the wall off the bubble to the floor of the bubble. She threw the gun down on the floor and began pounding on the bubble wall.

"I'm just going to lock him up." Jack assured her. "I'm not going to harm him."

"Why should I believe you?" Tosh demanded through her tears.

"Because, he said he wouldn't." Jackie said firmly. "You've worked with Jack for years, if he says he won't harm Adam, he won't. besides, I want to know why he did this. Jack," she turned towards him. "go lock Adam up, I'll be down there in a moment." Jack gave Adam a shove and Tosh began crying. "Enough Tosh."

"How could you?" She screamed. "What is the matter with you two?"

"Nothing!" she cleared her throat. "Ianto, please make sure that everyone is up in the meeting room. Please show them all the security footage of Adam, then show Adam in his cell to ensure Tosh that Adam is alright."

Ianto nodded. "Yes." Jackie released Tosh, who lunged at her, but Ianto caught her around the waist. "Tosh, don't."

Jackie turned and walked down to the cells quickly, curious to hear Adam's explanation as to why he'd changed them. at this moment, Jack was talking. "You changed us."

"For the better. You didn't remember who you were. I helped you. Look at Owen, all his cynicism gone. He's a different man now. Selfless, happier. And Toshiko, too," he shook his head in appreciation. "she's never been this confident."

"And my wife?" Jack questioned as he reached behind him, knowing she was there without even looking. "What did you do to her?"

He glanced at Jackie. "I took away her self-righteous attitude, that fiery temper. She's calmer, kinder now."

"You took her strength and everything that I loved about her away from me." his touch on her waist tightened firmly. "You made her weak, submissive and frightened. You almost drove her insane; she is not human."

She placed her hand on his waist. "Jack, I'm fine," she murmured. "remember, you promised not to be hard on creatures for my behalf."

Jack inhaled deeply as he leaned forward, arms across his chest, before demanding. "How did you come here? Why us?"

"All of you have such unique memories, especially you, Jack. All those extraordinary memories you hold. Some hidden, some absent. Your singular mind." Jack drew himself up just a little bit and leaned forward. "That's what drew me here."

"Stop flirting with my husband's mind." Jackie stated drolly. "It's irritating."

Jack chuckled at her as he leaned forward towards. "It's what we do best." Jack leaned forward and hissed. "Wipe out aliens." He turned to her and took her hand. "Come on."

She bobbed her head in agreement, as Adam panicked. "You can't shoot me! You made me live." Jack guided her away from Adam's cell as Adam sneered. "And you always remember what you killed," Jack stopped in his tracks. "don't you, Jack?"

Jack stopped in place, silently searching soul for an answer as to why he did that before looking towards her. "I know you, you hate killing," she says softly. "and you try to avoid it whenever possible. You do what you have to do to protect this planet and to protect the ones who love you because you've lived so long and have seen so many lives lost in so many ways. You remember what you kill, because you know what would have happened if you let them live. Moreover, you remember, to remind yourself of what you're fighting for. If you didn't remember….it would show that you had no regard for the preciousness of life."

Jack was silent for a moment before looking down at her. "It's at times like this; I almost believe there is a God. Because…there is no one else in this whole universe, that can comfort me like you can."

She smiled at him as she wrapped his arms around his waist. "If you found Him, you'd find the peace you've been searching for. But…in your own time Jack, because it's your journey, not mine." she stretched up and kissed him, absorbing some of the conflict within him. Jack deepened the kiss, taking strength and comfort from her. after several moments, she broke the kiss. "The rest of the team is waiting for us."

He nodded and took walked carefully upstairs. "We're going to have to retcon everyone." He said. "It should cause everyone to forget Adam and if we're wrong, he'll still be there tomorrow morning."

She nodded. "But he won't be Jack."

"I just had to say that for Tosh's sake." He exhaled as he pushed the door in to find everyone was seated and looking sullenly at the screen with Adam. Jack squeezed her hand before moving towards the screen. She moved to where Jack normally sat, pushed his chair away and sat on the edge of the desk. She held his gaze as he crossed his arms and spoke to their depressed team. "Our memories define us. Adam changed those memories, changed who we are." Jack walked towards his place at the table. "Now I have to help you all go back, find a memory that defines you. Rediscover who you are." Tosh finally looked at Jack as he gazed at the computer screen. "If I'm wrong," Jack said slowly. "he'll still be here when we've done this." Jackie turned off the screen and hopped off the desk as Jack pushed another button. "Let me take you back to before we all met." A blue hypnotic image appears on the screen as the room darkens. "Feel around for anything that makes you what you are. The hidden and the forgotten. Tell me where you are."

No one responded at first, but Gwen did. "The college canteen. Rhys is sitting opposite me, telling stupid jokes." Gwen smiled before laughing in remembrance.

"It's my birthday." Owen says quietly. "I'm ten. Mum spends the whole day screaming. "I love you because you're my son, but that doesn't mean I have to like you." the bitterness in Owen's voice, finally helps Jackie understand why Owen is the way he is, but come tomorrow, she won't remember.

"Math's club." Tosh said with a faint smile on her lips. "Something so reliable about math's. Always the right answer."

Ianto smiled. "Meeting Lisa, falling in love; never felt so alive."

"I'm fifteen and I fall in love with the dance floor the first time I went dancing." Jackie could almost see everything before her when she closed her eyes. The face of every man that she'd danced with that day. "I never learned to dance, but dancing knew me and for the first time…I feel beautiful and confident."

"I turn 16." He exhales before smiling. "She packs my bags. That is the nicest thing you've done for me in years, Mother."

"Kissing him in the supermarket." The sweet contemplative look on Gwen's face causes Jackie to smile. "The look on his face."

"My first flat. I don't have a flat warming." Tosh says quietly. "There's no one I want to invite."

"My first kiss," she murmured quietly. "feeling my heart rise in my chest at the sheer wonder of the sensations…and then the pain of feeling it break because the kiss was a lie."

Jack leaned over and kissed her hand. "No more lies." He assured her gently. "I promise."

"Losing Lisa, was like the world had ended." He exhaled. "Finding Meryl…was as if heaven had found me."

"The way he looks at me sometimes," something in Gwen's voice causes Jackie and Jack to look at Gwen. "as if he's scared of what he feels for me. I love him." Jackie relaxes until Gwen looks towards Jack and confesses. Jack, sensing what's coming, straightens up. "But not in the way I love you."

Jackie opens her mouth as shock and outrage surges in her; but Jack squeezes her hand tightly. "You'll never remember Jackie, nor will she. It's not worth it. Besides," he added in a whisper. "I love you, not her." She exhales and Jack walks around the table and hands Gwen a retcon pill. "Take this." Gwen takes it and looks at it contemplatively.

"Knowing there has to be more to life than this. Knowing I'm special," the bitterness and longing in Tosh's voice tugged at Jackie's heart "waiting for someone to see it."

Jack places his hand on her shoulder, assuring her gently as he hands her the pill. "I saw it."

He places the pill on the table in front of Tosh and moves towards Owen. "You save one life, a hundred lives, but it's never enough." He wonders aloud. "Who'll save me?"

"I will." Jackie smiles as she watches Jack, her feelings growing stronger for him as he made his way around the table.

"Coming here," Ianto said slowly. "it gave me meaning again. it gave me…a second chance."

Jack handed Ianto his pill before approaching Jackie. "You each have a short term amnesia pill. It'll make you forget Adam. We have to wipe out the last forty-eight hours from our memories." He inserted an authorative note in his voice. "Go back to who we were."

Ianto is the first to take the pill, then Gwen and finally Owen. Jackie holds her breath as she watches Tosh. Tosh switches the screen back to a view of Adam. "I'm going to lose so much."

Jackie moves towards Tosh and says softly. "None of it was real."

"He loved me and I loved him." she spins around and begins crying. "It's no different from real memory."

"oh Tosh, he forced it on you. you don't love him. its like," she explained softly. "what I did to Jack with Ianto. the love of a memory, isn't real, you have to let it go."

Tosh takes the pill from Jackie's hand and sits down, to take the pill, looking at Adam on the screen before laying her head down on the table. Jackie guides her head down to table as Jack catches Gwen's head.

As soon as the others are asleep, Jack hands her the pill with her name on it. she studies it. "Will it hurt the babies?"

"No." He assures her. "Only the memory."

"I'll take mine when you take yours."

"I'm going down to talk to Adam."

She takes his hand. "And I'm going with you."

He smiles and heads towards the holding cells. "I kinda figures you would." It is all so still and silent in the hub, an almost eerie silence. They don't speak, but their presence is almost enough for this moment. they approach the cell and find Adam sitting down. She can feel his life slowly fading out of his body. Jack steps towards the cell and Adam looks up. "Just us left."

"jack, I know what it's like not to exist." Adam pleads wearily. "Please don't send me back there."

"I have to." Jack says softly, a hint of pity in his voice for Adam.

"What are you going to do?" Adam asks, Jackie senses some animosity building up in Adam.

Jack holds up the pill. "This will wipe out the past two days."

"Well, you'll still keep the bad memories, because they were always yours." Adam almost spits before pulling himself up to eye level with Jack. "But what about the good times, Jack? What about the last good memory of you and your dad?"

"It's lost." Jack states firmly, causing her head to go up.

"I can help you find it." Adam's voice causes Jackie's senses to go up on alert and she begins shaking her head. "I can take you back there before I die."

The desire in Jack was so overwhelming that she was stunned by it. "Why would you do that?" he questioned.

"I was in the Void for so long the colors of this world almost blinded me, Jack. It was so beautiful after the darkness and the stench of fear." He inhaled sharply. "You gave me that. Let me do this for you. Come on. You want this."

Jackie shook her head and reached for Jack's hand. "Don't Jack, I'm sensing a lie and a trap. That's not what he wants to do."

Adam shook his head. "I'm not."

She gripped Jack's hands firmly. "Please Jack, I'm begging you, don't fall for this." She stepped in front of Jack and cupped his face in her hand. "Jack, please, I don't know what he wants to do, but he wants to hurt you. if you want to remember, then let me try."

Jack looks at her. "Can you do that?"

She answers honestly. "I don't know Jack, but, I'm telepathic and sentient. I should be able to help you find a memory." She reached for the pen in his pocket, where it always was and wrote on her arm. try mind search on Jack. help him remember his father. She held up her arm to show him. "I won't forget."

"Don't listen to her Jack." the urgency in Adam's voice was his undoing. "She can't do it."

Jack paused and looked from Adam to her then back to Adam. "I'm inclined to think that she can." He pulls the pill out of his pocket and shows it to Adam. "Goodbye, Adam." Jack and Jackie takes the pill together as Adam doubles over in pain. Jackie starts to sink down and Jack catches her. "I've got you."

She smiles. "You always do." She exhales as he sits down behind her, holding her close. "Gosh…this feels funny. Is my speech…slurring?"

"It is. You know what," he murmurs. "we're not going to remember…you're pregnant."

"Well, I guess…I'll have to tell you again." Jackie placed her hands on her chest and snuggled against him. "I'm going to… freak out when I wake up."

He chuckled. "Bet you will."

The next morning,

Jackie yawned and stirred as she felt something solid, yet soft, underneath her. She looked down to find herself sprawled on top of her stirring husband. She blinked a few times and looked around in dismay as she saw that she was down in the vaults, not in their bedroom.

Jackie stared at Jack who was staring around in confusion as well. "How did we get down here?"

He shook his head. "No idea."

Jackie blinked before she started blushing crimson in horror. "Oh God!" She hissed as she got off his chest. "Please tell me, that we did not have sex in front of Janet?"

Jack looked slightly dazed as he sat up. "Er, I don't think so."

"Oh may God forgive me," she said as she stood up and began tidying her dress. "I'm turning into a sex addict."

"Well," Jack said as he stood up behind her and murmured right in her ear. "may I remind you that most girls by sixteen have already had sex?"

"So?" she questioned as the hair on the back of her neck started to stand up.

"So, you've waited ten years longer than the average female, therefore, it's normal for you be rather…enthusiastic about it. I mean," he smirked. "after all your body literally starts to glow with pleasure."

"Not that much pleasure. Hold on." She stared him. "Are you saying this is my fault?"

"No," he said slowly. "it's mine because," he grinned at her as he leaned forward. "I really love making love to you."

She smiled and murmured. "Well, you're an excellent lover, husband." Jack kissed her deeply and she pulled away to confess against his lips. "I look forward to being with you every night."

Jack smirked and pulled her against him. "Shall we continue this…downstairs?"

"Hmm, tempting," she pulled away from him. "but, it's too late in the morning for such things. A bit later though."

Jack laughed as she took a hold of his arm and they walked in a relaxed, leisurely pace back up to the hub. She wasn't surprised to find everybody at his or her stations, working away at a furious pace. Gwen glanced up at them. "Where were you two?"

"Inspecting the cells." Jackie said with a careless shrug of her shoulders. "Why? Something up?"

"Yes," Gwen said as she looked towards Jack and asked. "Jack, how have we lost two days?"

"What do you mean?" Jack questioned as he glanced over Gwen's shoulder at the system.

"The last forty eight hours." Ianto said before taking a swig out of his coffee cup. "None of us can remember a thing."

"The system's blank," Tosh informed them. "the CCTV's been wiped."

Jackie exhaled in relief. "Oh, thank goodness."

"What's been going on?" Tosh questioned. "What have we been doing?"

Jack inhaled before confessing. "I don't know."

"Great." Owen said dryly as Ianto handed Jack and Jackie their coffee. "That's two days of my life that I'll never get back."

Jack lifted up his cup of coffee. "Looks like Toshiko got herself a secret admirer, though."

"Oh, yeah?" Jackie smiled at the note of curiosity in Owen's voice.

Tosh opened up the small card with the bouquet. "To Tosh, love and apologies, Owen." Tosh smiled brightly. "They're from you."

Owen let out a snort as he shook his head. "In your dreams, Tosh. I think someone's winding you up, darling."

The smile faded on Tosh's face, prompting Jackie to reach for the card. "It's your handwriting."

"No, I don't do flowers," he took the card from Jackie's hand. "and I definitely don't do apologies."

"You two are supposed to be going on a date tonight." Jack reminded them. "I want a report how it went in the morning Owen."

"Jack! it's a date." Jackie scolded him. "They don't need to give you a report." She bit her lip before looking down at the bitter coffee with distaste. "I'm hungry. I wonder if there's anything good in the kitchen."

"And I'll go with you," Jack said as he brushed his hand on her waist. "to ensure that there is at least one thing good in the kitchen."

She snorted and headed for the kitchen. "I'm hungry Jack."

"So am I," she grabbed his hand as it slowly slid down her waist to her hip. "very hungry." She rolled her eyes and playfully fondled his hand as they entered the kitchen. He pulled open the refrigerator door and peered inside. "So, what have we got?" Jackie pulled out the loaf of already cut French bread and Jack bobbed his head. "I can go with that." Jackie grabbed a case of already cooked bacon, blackberry jelly and cheddar cheese slices. Jack looked at her curiously. "That I cannot go with. What are you doing?"

"Eating." She stated as she went for a knife to spread the jelly on the bread. Jack watched as she placed half a slice of cheese on top of the jelly and added a slice of bacon. "I think I must have watched 'Chopped' or something like that." she stuck it in the microwave for 30 seconds while Jack stared on. "Because…this sounds good right now."

Jack bobbed his head. "I'll need to see it to believe it first."

She chuckled as she pulled the bread out of microwave and took a bite. Her eyes widened. "Ohh, this is delicious. Have a bite!" Jack shook his head in protest. "Come on! it won't kill you!"

"It might!" he said as Jackie shoved a piece in his mouth. He made a face as he chewed it thoughtfully. "Strangely…good…in an odd sort of way." He wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb, biting off the bit of jelly. "Sure you're not pregnant Jackie?"

"I'm positive, Jack." though she said it with a smile on her face, the hurt will still somewhat evident. "Owen couldn't make such a big mistake like that."

Jack wrapped his arms around her waist and brushed a kiss to her neck. "I'm sorry baby, I promise not to bring it up again."

She chuckled feebly. "It's alright Jack, honest. Besides, with the elaborate lives we lead, how could we possibly have the time for children?"

He continued nuzzling her neck. "Hey, anything is possible baby; don't forget that, after all, you married me."

She chuckled and turned around in his embrace. "And you made me talk."

"Biggest mistake of my life." He murmured against her lips. "You talk too much."

TJ: Yes she is isn't she. I can understand that you've just been busy, it happens. (At least it wasn't because you thought Jackie was a 'Mary Jane' and the story wasn't interesting anymore!) The next chapters are going to have Martha, 25 will be Gwen's wedding and I'm so looking forward to that chapter. Especially since Jackie is going to have to revert back to being mute and everyone's going to wonder why both the Cooper girls are arriving pregnant!