With Nothing Else

by Zentrodie

When people have little in their lives they cling to the small things that bring joy. Sometimes that is good while others it can lead to their downfall. For those working for Nerv, very few have much in their lives.

21. Chapter 21

Standard Disclaimer

Well happy holidays! I had hoped to get this out before X-mass but New years is good enough I guess. Had to help at a convention and man that stuff hurts anymore, I was running games all weekend long and that just took a lot

X-X

With Nothing Else

Chapter – 21

For the first time in recent memory, Misato woke without having nightmares. She didn't really know why she didn't have any, but she did enjoy the fact. It had been a long shift the day before, the oversight committee was breathing down her neck about the monster Ayanami became. So when she got home, she hit the bottle harder than usual, and she had lost some of her resistance to it from abstaining for so long. "Maybe I should drink before bed more often, keep the dreams at bay," she squirmed and muttered into her body pillow.

Wait, she didn't have a body pillow. In the darkness of her room, she couldn't see anything with the door shut. Feel though, she could certainly feel something. It was a body, her legs entwined with her partners, she hugged it close to her body, and one hand instinctually went to the root. Hearing the soft breathing of her partner, she knew already who it was. "Shin-chan, what did I do last night?" she whispered and slowly drew her hands away from what she shouldn't touch. Not knowing how she got to bed, it was pretty clear now what happened. Drinking to hard, she needed Shinji to bring her to her room, and her being her…she didn't let him leave.

"Is this the only way I know how to relate anymore?" Misato couldn't refute she enjoyed this. The heat, the sensation, the oneness, but she knew it was wrong. Slowly disengaging her legs from his, she heard him moan a little as she did. Well he certainly was quite sensitive and big for his age. Snickering and feeling a little more upset with herself, "You've grown so much since that first time haven't you?"

In the darkness of her room, Shinji shifted and turned to face her, more proof he was used to sleeping next to somebody. Shucking a little closer, his forehead touched hers, his breath just caressed Misato's face and trailed down her neck and chest making her shudder. "This is wrong of me," but Misato just basked in it. She missed Kaji so much, hated being alone so much, and right now she wasn't. It wasn't as if she didn't like Shinji, she loved him. Could she just enjoy this, could she let it go further? Running the back of her hand against his cheek, she felt her disgust rising…or was it her upset stomach from to much alcohol? Oh…oh it was the stomach, she felt it loosen and start to rebel.

Throwing herself out of the futon, she ran to the privy in a growing state of vertigo washed over her. Bouncing off the table, she took a tumble to the ground and heaved. "Oh…oh god I feel horrid," she bemoaned. The cold tile felt good against her cheek, it kept her from expunging instantly. Vision swimming, stomach clenching, she wasn't expecting to feel hands grab her bicep and pick her up. Groggily, hand covering her mouth, "Huh…who?"

"It's ok Misato-san, I'll get you there," an equally tired sounding Shinji answered Misato. She couldn't make him out, couldn't make anything out with her vision swirling and refusing to settle. Much against her wishes she did spit out a gout of the meal Shinji cooked for her last night all over his chest. The next time she heard the lovely tickle of water, and felt Shinji's hands pulling her hair back and gently caress her back. After a wet sloppy sound, "Get it all out Misato-san, you'll feel better."

God her life was in tatters wasn't it! One moment she was considering if she wanted to try something with her ward, the next she was vomiting in her toilet with him caring for her. He was her ward, one of her closest friends, and in a relationship already! How did life come to this? What happened to her other friends, what happened to her? Didn't she know anyway to connect to a man outside of sex? It just…it just was how she knew how to convey her feelings to those she cared for. All other emotions were shunted and kept hidden deep down, locked down and abandoned, all was burning around her as she kept on her path of vengeance against the angels.

Hanging over the toilet rim, she heard it flush before she dared open her eyes again. No more spinning or nausea, just the twirling water and the sensation of cold against her cheek. "Thought you might some water to clean your mouth out, feel up for something to eat?" Shinji held a glass of water out to her. Kneeling by her, bare-chested with some lovely stains on his slacks, he had nothing but concern etched into him.

"Something lite, some black coffee to. And…sorry about," she just waved her hand over. Watching him walk off, she sipped the water slowly and it eased her aching throat like a magical salve. Note to self, don't drink like she used to or this would happen again. Since she took up the mantle of Kaji's hunt to expose Nerv she had been drinking less and less. Getting up, putting her palm against the wall, that sense of vertigo hit again but was much lesser. Waiting, taking a few minutes to just calm herself she felt the sweat on her already. Thank the gods she didn't work until the afternoon. "I'll be good by then," she hoped at least. Been a long time since she felt this bad a hangover.

Spotting Shinji's ruined shirt in the bathtub, she felt even worse mentally. "That was his favorite shirt wasn't it," she recognized one of his few non-white button up t-shirts. It was covered in a horrible mixture of food, bile, and was that blood? "But knowing him, he'll be able to clean it," not her through. In her mind, that shirt was ruined forever. Cleaning wasn't her forte, but she had Shinji for that didn't she. And for what? What did he get out of this? Pain and misery, forced to fight and watch his friends suffer and be hospitalized. Shuffling out of the bathroom, she saw him already setting the table, "Sorry about this, not used to the sauce like I used to be."

"Oh, it wasn't to much of a problem. Just go easier next time, you nearly hit the table when you fell. Just glad I could get you to the toilet in time," Shinji had a fresh shirt on already. Setting the bowl of miso on the table next to some rice, toast, and scrambled egg, he sat down to an empty plate for himself. He did have some juice though and he drank a little after he sat, "Feeling better? Something bad happen yesterday?"

Sinking into the chair, Misato spared the empty place Pen-Pen's bowl used to take up. Stupid bird was gone, she loved that damned thing, but he wasn't safe in Tokyo-3 anymore. "Yeah much," she saw the hangover medicine next to coffee. Boy just thought of everything didn't he? Well he likely didn't think she almost thought about rolling on him when she woke up. Taking her medicine, the coffee's smell assailed her nose in a wondrous moment of awakening. After a sip, testing her stomach for weakness, "As for yesterday…getting a lot of flack from the government about our missing Unit-00. The Magi are withholding judgment, and without Ritsuko we can't get them to do what we need. So just a lot of stress, I got thinking about all we lost against the angels, and just…let go."

"Sorry I wasn't home when you got here. Maybe I could have kept you from drinking so mu-ch," Shinji halted in shock. Misato took his hand and just held it around the wrist gently. Even after all he'd been through, a simple touch was enough to frazzle and stop him up. Or maybe it was just from her, the air between them had started to shift subtly over the last few weeks. After his initial confusion wore off, Shinji took her hand with a thin slip of a smile, "Sorry."

Giving his hand a tug, to light to move him, Misato was glad and upset he didn't recognize that as a tell to lean closer to her. It was wrong, so wrong, but she was just so worried and stress out. A perfect way to relieve it, to show how much she cared so close, but could she forgive herself? "You did nothing wrong, you're not my keeper Shin-chan," a lie that they both knew. After he didn't come in for some sugar, she let go of him and slowly started to eat. Not pushing too much too fast, be bad to have to rush back to the toilet. "So what are your plans for the day? Not staying around her are you?" what could he do though?

"I'm going to check on Asuka, then Maya wanted to see my school work, make sure I'm not doing it wrong," he didn't look at Misato when he said that. He couldn't lie, not in the slightest, so it was quite clear he wasn't being honest. Oh he was going over to Ibuki's, maybe she'd look at this pointless homeschool work, but that was all a front.

The toast helped calm her stomach all the more, but her legs itched, her body frustrated, she just nodded. "Is she showing any signs of improving?" Misato hadn't once went to see Asuka. Every time she thought of Asuka, all Misato did was regret. Pushing the girl to hard, mocking her and forcing Asuka to do stupid things to compensate, and never understanding what Asuka was to her before it was to late.

Gathering his empty juice glass, Shinji just shook his head. "No, she's the same as she was since she was admitted. The nurses tell me it's silly for me to keep visiting. But I hope she hears me somehow. At least I give Maya some private time," Shinji just couldn't convince anybody.

"Well I'm going to hit a bath, you go see that absent girl of ours. Remind her that it's her turn to take out the garbage so I'm going to be holding her accountable," Misato waggled her finger at Shinji with a mournful smile. Begging the gods for Shinji not to say something to the way of 'you could do it yourself', because she knew she couldn't.

Gathering Misato's plates, Shinji made a sound, a few aborted sentences as he was unsure how to start. "J-just put my shirt in the laundry basket and I'll take care of it later," Shinji quickly did his job to hide from the elephant in the room. "Be home late tonight or on time?" he asked as he did the dishes.

"Late," Misato couldn't tell him anything else, and just ran off to her room. Turning the light on, she took several deep breaths. She was so close to getting to the bottom of the secrets of Nerv, somehow it was getting easier to get access to what she needed. Part of her suspected Ritsuko was aiding her somehow, but she had no idea how that was possible. Cleaning up her room aimlessly, she stalled for Shinji to leave. Coward, she was running from her own loneliness and her confusion about everything. Once she heard him call out his departure, she grabbed her plastic friend, and took to the bathroom. He had already cleaned up the tub and took the shirt out, and filled it for her.

It almost brought a tear to her eye, this was what it felt to be cared for by somebody. Kaji loved her, she knew what, but he didn't 'care' for her like this. The bath was perfect, the last of her hangover vanished as she self-administered a little relief. It was hallow and pitiful, but it did the trick. After the bath, she ate some leftovers for lunch, and got ready for another shift of depression at Nerv. Destruction reports, fatality lists, and more empty work stations. The roads were empty as she drove the repaired streets that would get her to the base.

"What does everybody have for me?" she asked once she got to the command bridge. Only three people were mulling about right now, the rest seeing to things directly. Good news, please let there be good news.

Makoto spun around from his desk with a smile that just wouldn't go away. "Unit-01 and 02 are fully repaired and ready for use when needed. Sadly the city's defenses are still weeks out until they are any sort of useful," he admitted and played with a ring on his finger.

"The Fifth Child should be here to start testing in a day or so, we've arranged a room on base for him," Shigeru informed the Major with a shrug. Another pilot, another chance for a young life to be hurt or lost.

"We getting anything on our missing angel?" Misato refused to refer to the thing as anything other than angel while on base. It had been inactive, hiding from everybody and everything since it took Unit-02 down.

Calling up a few screens, Shigeru's frown was more telling than the screen. "Magi suspect that the angel has gone into a chrysalis state to complete the merging processes. With the system still down, we can't get a solid lead on where it's hiding. We know it's still in the ruins of Tokyo-3, but none of the squads we sent to look for he….it found anything," Shigeru nearly fell from the glare Misato tossed his way.

"Get the Fifth Child tested the moment he gets on base. I want to know his capabilities, and keep sending out forces to hunt that thing down," Misato ordered and went to check on anything the commanders sent her way. She did wonder where Maya was, she was due to give her an update on the Magi. Finding no details or information from the Commanders, no surprise there as the men just seemed to vanish, Misato resumed her hunt.

A few hours into her shift, the door opened and a very irate looking Maya Ibuki scanned the deck, found Misato and made a beeline right over to her. "Major, Magi are still deliberating the state of Unit-00 and the last angel," oh the anger just radiated out of her in waves. The tiny woman was vibrating with it, just pure and uncut.

"What is it Ibuki, you have something to say to me?" Misato just rubbed her brow and disconnected from the network. No good in getting caught now while she was so close.

Swallowing so deeply her throat bulged with it, her cheeks were a little red, "Permission to speak freely?" She had to ask, even though both Makoto and Shigeru were off for some food. Girl must have planned for this, waited for privacy. Once Misato nodded her head, Maya launched into what had to be a scripted dialogue, "I don't want Shinji living with you any longer. I could smell you on him when he came over. A mixture of that noxious perfume of yours and sickness. I know you two are close, but we are a couple, not you two. He said nothing happened, I believe him, but I don't trust you. We all heard the rumors, I didn't believe them until today."

"Are we really doing this now, Ibuki? We have an angel and Evangelions hybrid and you're worried about whether Shinji and I might have sex? Really? Is that the most important thing you should be focused on?" Misato's stomach chilled, she didn't want to talk about this. So she played the work card, distract and redirect the fury. Maya had every reason to be concerned and worried did she not? "Maybe you should be getting ready for the Fifth Child and not worrying about personal issues," Misato pointed to the door, point made and hammered down.

Misato could see Maya's lip curling up into a snarl but the girl kept it from forming. "Will do ma'am, and as if we are keeping work and personal work separate. I'll be asking him to move in then. He has no reason to stay where he is with Soryu hospitalized after all. Best to keep work and play separate right?" Maya saluted and walked off leaving Misato floored. Maybe it would be for the best if he did leave, but she didn't want him gone…if he did leave she'd be totally alone.

X-X

Sitting in the same painful chair as he did every time he visited, Shinji shifted uncomfortably in the foldout chair. The hospital just didn't have many amenities for prolonged visitors to coma victims. The nurses would come and go, checking Asuka's readouts and leave. Occasionally they'd talk to him, but most of the time they'd just throw him a confused stare and then leave on their way. It didn't matter to him though, he was just here to see his friend. All those television shows had the illusion that the sleeper could hear or sense company, Shinji liked that dream.

"Maybe you can hear me, maybe you can't. I feel better about being here for you," Shinji did talk to his sleeping friend. Asuka hadn't changed since they brought her in, just the same steady rise and fall of her chest. Weak, this wasn't what Asuka was supposed to look like! Holding her hand, careful of the IV-stand, he hated the cold and clammy sensation. Encapsulating her hand with both of his, he drew it to his head and closed his eyes, "You need to come back soon. It's your time to do the laundry, and Misato-san will get upset if I keep doing your chores."

He had actually spent the night at Misato's the night before and the major did tease him with that little fact. His time was now split between Maya's and Misato's, and it was wearing on everybody. If Maya worked second or third shift he would stay at Misato's, but if Maya worked first he stayed at her place. Still no expert in the ways of love and relationships, Shinji was smart enough to know it annoyed Maya that he did it. They talked about it though, Shinji got Maya to understand the truth of the matter. He loved Misato, but was IN love with Ritsuko and her.

"I'm finally further along in our study primer than you are too, Asuka. If you don't come back soon I'll finish the book and you'll be way behind. Can you handle that?" he tried mocking. He tried everything from being overly nice, to condescending, angry, and even bribing her but nothing worked. The same numbers on her readings continued to mock him. Putting her hand back at her side, he stood up and sighed, "I'll be back when I can. I have my first sync test with the new pilot today."

Asuka didn't react, just the beeping of the machines and the almost inaudible sound of her breathing. Pale and with sunken cheeks, she just was withering away before his eyes. At least she did show some mental stimulation, she wasn't brain dead, just lost somewhere deep inside.

"You ready to go, Shin-chan?" Maya asked him from the door. She stole a glance at the sleeping girl and her frown just got more pronounced. Taking Shinji's hand in hers, they both walked down the hallway together. They received a few odd glances from the older residence and patients than hadn't left the city yet. Well to hell with them for judging. "I spoke with the orderly while you were in there," Maya sounded as if she was going to continue but just tapered off.

Shinji spoke with the orderly as well, it wasn't good or bad just more of the same. "Will you be at the test today or is it going to be Aoba-san?" Shinji looked over at her hopefully. It was better when Maya was there, he didn't want to be alone with the new pilot. Since the new pilot showed up, Shinji had done everything he could to avoid meeting him or talking with him. If Maya was there, he could just continue talking with her and not him. He felt her hand spasm in his, and he gritted his teeth as he knew the answer already.

"Sorry, but I have to keep working on the Magi. They're still having issues coming to a conclusion about what the latest angel is doing," Maya hung her head low. When they got on the train it was to a nearly empty car. Finding a nice secluded section, they both sat down and leaned against each other. "I do work later today, Shin-chan…but could you please be at my place when I get home? I'm…well…please?" Maya pleaded.

It was unfair of her to play this card, but Shinji had learned much about Maya since Ritsuko was taken from them. "Of course I can be," he did have a spare key to her place anyway. Just leaning against each other as the droning of the train lulled them into a peaceful daze. Maya was a tricky woman, Shinji learned, she wasn't forward and direct like Misato or Ritsuko were. If Ritsuko wanted to make love, she'd just say it outright. Maya beat around the bush, masked her wants in innuendo and veiled questions. Making small circles with his thumb on the back of her hand, "Want anything to eat for supper then?"

"Anything would be good, I just want to know you'll be there when I get home," Maya snuggled up close and closed her eyes. They had a small ride from the hospital to the lower entrance, especially when they purposefully took the wrong train. Kicking her legs up on the seat next to hers, nobody was using it anyway, "I sleep better with you there too. Do you think…do you think she's good?"

Leaning heavier into Maya as well, just soaking in the emotion and comfort, Shinji felt his own fatigue rushing in. It was sill morning, but he was so tired all the sudden, "Ritsuko-san will be fine. She'll come back to us, we just have to wait." Another thing Shinji realized about Maya, well more it solidified in his mind clearer. If Maya had to choose between Ritsuko and him, she'd choose Ritsuko. Shinji didn't mind though, as he suspected he might make the same choice. Oh he loved Maya, he knew that now after the months of their relationship. But there was just some slight invisible line between Ritsuko and Maya that separated the two.

"She's going to have to make up for her little vacation from us," Maya muttered as she fell asleep. She had heavy dark circles under her eyes, and she was a little thinner. Shinji was worried about her, just like she worried about him. When he wasn't at the apartment, Maya just didn't sleep well nor did she eat well. Left to her own devices, Maya just threw herself into her work or whatever private project she had going on to keep her mind off her fears.

Letting her sleep as the train circled the city and eventually docked at Nerv, Shinji gently roused her from her nap. "Maya-chan, we have to get going, we're here," Shinji nudged her shoulder a few times. Shifting to the side, Maya slid down his shoulder and plopped into his lap face down. Snickering just a little, Maya did have a little odd fetish for oral sex, he wondered if she was awake. Maya had told him after they had finished one evening that she did have a fantasy about doing it on a train. The fear of maybe being seen was something that she wanted to try. With the cars so entry, there wasn't a reason to try it now though, was there?

"Huh, what already?" Maya woke with a start. Sniffing in Shinji's musk deeply, she let out a low groan of enjoyment. Maya had a few kinks that made her quite unique in Shinji's heart. Pushing herself up with the help of Shinji's thighs, she mockingly rapped a knuckle against her temple. Stretching her arms over her head, "You do make a lovely pillow, and the rocking of the train is just music."

Drinking in Maya's slim form, Shinji had to admit there was something very appealing to a super thin form. Maya was not busty like Misato or Ritsuko, but there was quite an appeal in that as well. "I almost fell asleep myself," he confessed. Willing his libido to calm down, putting on a plugsuit when excited was no easy task. Plus he might have somebody on his side now, didn't want to show the new guy that aspect of him. Heading off the train and into the base, Shinji and Maya just held hands as they got to the elevator, "I'll see you tonight Maya-chan. Maybe we can help each other get a good night sleep. But…just try not to get into a fight with Misato-san, alright?"

"I will promise if you give me a little sugar before you go," Maya poked her cheek in his direction and pointed at it. Others saw it, Maya had given off caring about their opinions after Ritsuko was taken. Open and showing, if Maya was worried or upset at the rumors she didn't show it.

Rolling his eyes yet grinning like an idiot, Shinji gave her cheek a peek and got into the elevator and waved. Once the door closed, he instantly missed her. Was he getting to dependent on Maya now? Oh he hoped not, but his life was running out of things to care about. School was closed, his friends gone, Asuka and Rei taken, and even Pen-Pen was off with Hikari. All he had was piloting, home school work, Misato, Maya, and his worries.

"Just have to be careful, don't smother her like Sakura did to me," Shinji's worries continued to rise. It was stupid, he was being stupid with his ceaseless worries. Maya would tell him if he was bothering her, just like he would her. And right now, he was so far from being bothered by Maya that it was cute. Changing into his plugsuit, Shinji just sat there waiting for the time of the test to come. Hearing the sounds of humming, Beethoven if he remembered correctly, Shinji fled the room. He didn't want to make friends with the new pilot, didn't want to even know the boy. Of the first four pilots, Shinji was the only one left. He couldn't take making another friend only to lose them.

Sliding into his test plug, Shinji kept his disappointment to himself as Aoba waved at him politely. He was a nice guy, but Shinji hardly knew him. "Just have to focus, just focus," Shinji whimpered as he prepped himself. "I'm ready to get started now if you want to start early," he hoped Aoba would concede to his request. Thankfully the tank started to fill with the noxious fluid that he knew was anything but manmade. It made him want to vomit knowing where it came from, but he was able to keep it down.

"Don't think about it, just don't think…focus," Shinji pleaded with his mind but knew it was hopeless. Once the tank was full, Shinji felt the test start and he let his mind drift. Images of Misato were first to filter in against his wishes. Misato, his feelings for her was so conflicted anymore. Ever since that phone call, the change had been pronounced. He knew sleeping in her bed was wrong, it was him doing Maya a disservice. They weren't family, they weren't a 'couple', but to those that didn't know them could easily make the mistake. And at times, Shinji thought he saw something in Misato's gaze that went beyond the sense of family they shared. If he wasn't with Maya…would things be different?

"Ikari-kun you need to focus," Aoba's voice interrupted Shinji's mental dialogue.

Slapping his cheeks, Shinji found himself looking into the eyes not of the older man but familiar red eyes. For a brief moment he nearly panicked thinking Ayanami came back for him, then he saw it was the new male pilot. "Sorry, I'll do better," Shinji closed his eyes again and his pulse started to settle. Just red eyes, just the other guy, not Ayanami…not that monster. With the fear in him, he was able to keep his mind on task and a few hours of tedium later, Shinji got out of the tank and headed to the change room.

"How are you doing, Ikari-kun?" the boy from the test called out to him as he sat down by his locker. Sitting down close to Shinji, the boy smiled softly at him and extended a hand, "Kaworu Nagisa, the Fifth Child. Please to meet you."

Slowly taking the boy's hand, Shinji averted his eyes as the boy's towel fell and gave him an eyeful. "I'm…fine, Nagisa-san, you…getting around the base fine?" Shinji blushed a little. He wasn't comfortable with male nudity other than his own. But something about Kaworu's tone was just so friendly that Shinji couldn't refute him.

Fixing his towel, Kaworu used his free hand to point to the baths, "Good enough. It's a little larger than I expected it to be. Everybody has been…apprehensive around me. But given the state of things I can understand. But I would like to get to know you, if you're not adverse that is."

"I…I'm not against it no. Just been busy I guess," Shinji tightened his towel. His plan was to take a quick shower and leave, now he saw this kid giving him just the more relaxed air about him. Something was just to peaceful about Kaworu. "Did you want to get something to eat or…" Shinji just squirmed just a little.

Continuing to hum a little, Kaworu tilted his head, "How about a bath? I don't like the feeling of this fluid on my skin. And with the rest of the base off working, we should have the whole thing to ourselves." He grabbed another larger towel and got up.

"I've never used it before," Shinji confessed as he grabbed his own towel and fixed his and joined Kaworu. It took them a little while to get to the bath, let alone get into a nice place to soak. Not to close to one another, but not that far apart either. Comfortable distance, and then the just started talking. Well it was more Shinji talking at Kaworu as the boy commented and offered his opinions. It was a mental detox for Shinji to do it too, he felt bad unloading on this stranger, but never once did Kaworu look bored or angry.

Chatting and talking, Shinji went over just about all of his current problems and fears. Kaworu did ask a few questions, talked about his time on base and the base he was at before. They talked about music, food, and just about everything. Quite against Shinji's wishes he found himself liking the boy, it was almost impossible not to like him.

When Kaworu put his hand over Shinji's and smiled warmly, "You're just so delicate with your emotions and feelings, Shinji-kun, you're almost like glass. I like you." It took almost all of Shinji's willpower not to yank his hand free, just out of sheer shock. What an odd guy, touching hands must be something lesser where he was from, like Asuka. But Shinji could see himself being friends with him, but he really hoped he wasn't making a mistake here, please don't let this be a mistake.

X-X

Light on her feet and fighting a grin, Maya was well into a wonderful day. She had the second shift today, so that meant Shinji had spent the night. That meant they had a lovely evening the night before. A little game of chess, they watched a stupid movie, and they had several sessions of love-making before she fell asleep. She just slept better when either Ritsuko or Shinji was there, and since Ritsuko was gone meant she only slept peacefully when Shinji stayed. Waking after a good night to breakfast and more pleasant conversation left Maya ready and energized for the day.

Taking her shower at Nerv, if she didn't Shinji would have left as she did back at her apartment, Maya felt alive. Maybe they could live through all of this, they had to! She had so much to live for now! Her relationship was beyond what she could have hoped with Shinji, but she did have to find Ritsuko again! Both of them wanted that abused woman back, to reward her for time served. Time had not lessened her feelings for the bottle blond. Looking at her slightly longer hair in the mirror, "Maybe I'll let it grow, she might like it." Her brown hair was now down to her shoulders thanks to her stylist closing shop due to the cities massive damage.

"Wonder if she'll go back to her natural color or not," Maya quipped as she finished putting her uniform on. Ritsuko didn't dye the lower crop of hair so Maya knew the truth, and she did think blond suited Ritsuko better. Opening her bag, spotting her makeup, she happily shut the bag without using it. "He said I look better without it," Maya trusted Shinji to. With that skip in her step she went to her first station for the day, the training plugs and her mood did drop just a tad. That boy was there, she watched him climb into the plug for a private test. Maya didn't like Kaworu, not at all. Grunting, "Something about him just feels off."

Waving as Maya took her seat, Makoto had his own stupid smile adorning his geeky face. "Afternoon, Maya. Wow…what did you do today? You look like a million yen!" he adjusted his glasses comically, taking them off his eyes and putting them back on. After they shared a little laugh, the man went back to task and let the boy behind the safety wall enter the plug. Clearing his throat, "You ready for today I take it?"

Booting up and logging on to the Magi, Maya titled her head quizzically as it took longer to get to the main screen than usual. Once it did finally present her with the ugly green font of the old host based Magi system, Maya got her stuff started. "Oh it's not something I should talk about, unless you tell me first. You look like the dog that ate the cat that ate the canary," oh she could take a bet what had the man all smiles. Makoto had been her friend long enough for her to know his ins and outs…and a little in and out seemed likely.

"Well…Aoi has been very a-affectionate since the engagement," Makoto giggled a little. His nervousness melted away as he flooded the test chamber with LCL. Flashing Maya a ring around his own finger, "She got me this. She said if I hadn't asked her, she was going to ask me." The ring was simple, but he wore it proudly and his eyes got glossy as he looked at it. With a deep and heavy sigh of contentment, "Just have to live long enough to make it official. Both of us agree we want it to be the celebration after the last angel."

Ritsuko had said there was only going to be seventeen angels, and the events that destroyed most of the city was the sixteenth. But did that mean the Ayanami thing was the last or was there another? Maya didn't know, but as she looked at the face of Kaworu, Maya suppressed a shudder. "And she has every reason to be affectionate. You're a good man Makoto Hyuga, a good man indeed. Glad you got off your Katsuragi kick and found yourself a good woman. As for myself…it was an evening of pampering and a slow go this morning," very slow and gods she needed it. Stress and fears kept rising, yet they were pulling through.

"T-thanks Maya, that means a lot. And Katsuragi-san is a good woman too, just not for me," Makoto did defend his old crush. Emotions never did die, they just got replaced or pushed deep down and pretended to be forgotten. His hands danced over keys, he took a few fugitive looks over at Maya hesitantly.

Ah, so he was worried about asking and confirming the rumors that were flooding about the base about her. Most knew it was true already, but Makoto was a 'pictures or it didn't happen' type of guy. Maya didn't fault him for that, he had been burned before by lies and rumors. Shigeru had started a rumor that Misato had a thing for Makoto ages ago and it started the whole crush of his. "I was with Ikari-kun, Makoto. Ritsuko, Shinji, and I are a couple. And yes we have sex, and that is part of why I'm so happy," Maya said without hesitation or fear.

"I…good for you Maya, good for bo-all of you," Makoto had been pulsed for a moment but recovered quickly. A little crestfallen, the man didn't look overly comfortable with the idea, but he wasn't going to judge. Once his blush faded, he pointed at the screen showing the third wheel in the room, "How does he factor into things? Those two have been hanging out all week, he part of your…?"

Blinking fast and hard, Maya sucked in her breath and nearly fell out of her seat. Slapping her palms on the console, "He is NOT!" Her yell knocked Kaworu out of his focus and Maya found herself gazing into his red eyes. They were so similar to Ayanami's that Maya hated them. It wasn't out of some selfishness or jealousy, it was pure fear. What Maya knew of the clone, what she heard from Shinji in his weaker moments, Maya hoped to never see that color eye again. Fixing herself up, waiting for Kaworu to get back to task, "I don't like that boy. Something is strange about him."

"He is just that side of 'too' friendly for my taste too. Like the inverse Ayanami, well before her first accident," Makoto never did receive the news about the clones. Rubbing at his temples, Makoto fiddled with the test more. Pointing at the values on the screen, "This is just odd. No matter how low I put his plug depth he just accounts for it perfectly. It's the oddest thing."

Finally looking at her screen with the eye of the technical specialty she possessed, Maya gasped. "You're right, even his sync ratio maintains its level regardless of stimulation or situation. I've never seen this before," she took a few screen grabs. She had to show somebody this, had to show Ritsuko…oh wait she couldn't. Misato could be forced to understand, but Maya just didn't like to interact with that woman. The drunk party girl that was finding out that endless men didn't really heal a wounded heart, it masked it. If given time, Maya had no doubt Misato would crack and try something with Shinji.

Squirrelling away the images of Kaworu's readings, Maya fell into her job and let the conversation be led by Makoto. He spoke of the evening Aoi and he spent, the state of his apartment, and just anything to fill the air. They both sensed it though, something was just wrong here, very-very wrong.

"I'm going to go get some coffee, can I get you anything?" Makoto asked as he popped his back and got out of his chair. The test still had roughly twenty minutes to go until it relieved both of them from Child duty. With or without Maya's blessing the man was leaving, the room was empty save for the two of them. A far cry from when Shinji first arrived so long ago when the place was bustling.

Reaching for her wallet, Maya saw Makoto wave it off, "Some coffee with a little sugar would be lovely. I get the feeling it's going to be a long shift today." He truly was a nice guy, Maya waved Makoto off as he fled the room. Left alone with Kaworu though, Maya tapped her foot and tried to ignore her fears. It was stupid, he was just a boy, an odd boy. "Stop being stupid, nothing to be worried about," she couldn't calm down though. Just a few minutes and Makoto would be back…why did they have to watch that stupid horror movie! Shinji had wanted a comedy, she wanted the horror…Shinji needed to request more!

"I believe I am done here, Ibuki-san," Kaworu's voice got a jump out of Maya. Overriding the test controllers and emptying the tank, it was finished so it didn't resist. That smile on his face was unsettling, "Sorry for startling you. Just figured no reason to waste both of our time. Shinji-kun and I have plans for today, thought I'd get a bath in before I met him."

No, this wasn't right, it wasn't good at all! Where was Makoto? Shouldn't he be back already, it was just coffee and that was just a few rooms away! "Nagisa-kun you really shouldn't end the tests early. Even if it looks done we do have standards to follow," don't get out, don't get out! Maya couldn't understand it, she just was terrified! Watching the hatch open, and the boy exit, and climb down Maya just grabbed at her throat. Brokenly she flipped the comm to the room itself, "As for Shinji he isn't at his apartment today." A lie, Maya knew Shinji would go to Misato's to clean and cook for her.

"You're afraid of losing him to me? I find that quite funny. You Lilim are such fearful and selfish creatures at times. Well except for him," Kaworu just shook his head and left the room.

Sweat poured down her back, her body chilled, but Maya couldn't move to intercept the departing Child. How could Shinji put up with that boy and not run screaming? Taking a few deep breaths, she looked down on her screen and her eyes bugged open. A system message was emboldened on her screen, but it wasn't the typical error message or disconnect.

'Maya, it's me Ritsuko. Hacked the default system messaging as its not logged. Saw your images, that boy is likely the last angel. I'm seeing your screen so type into a notepad but don't save,' the message stated. It was a white backed image with red text, the standard Magi error or system message.

Suddenly Maya's fingers were all thumbs as she just couldn't type without a slew of typos and errors. Editing and re-editing the message again and again, she just wrote as best she could. 'I missed you so much Senpai, we both have! Where are you? Can we get you out? Are you safe?" Maya would have kept her text onslaught had another system error popped up.

It was a little curt, but it had to be to knock Maya out of her panic. 'Snap out of it Maya! I miss both of you so much it hurts, but not important right now. That boy is likely an angel. After he is taken out, it is possible base will be assaulted, or may wait until after Ayanami is dealt with. Got in contact with JSSDF, Seele remnants trying to stage attack. Let Misato know, get ready for everything. Will try to get in touch when Gendo isn't looking,' the message stayed on screen just long enough for Maya to read it before it vanished.

"S-Senpai, I knew you were alive," Maya whispered to the screen and put her palm to it. That's when Makoto came back into the room, two cups of coffee in his hands and an irate look on his face. Jerking back from the monitor, she hoped her eyes didn't betray her.

Tilting his to the corridor he just exited, Makoto was peeved, "You believe that kid? Just up and doing whatever he wants. I mean, even Soryu at least listened to orders and followed them! He just 'oh I have something more important to do' and walks off! Kids these days." In a huff, Makoto handed Maya her coffee and plopped down.

"I have to see Katsuragi-san," Maya said emotionlessly. Oh she felt the heat from the cup, but it didn't register with her brain. It just seared into her hand as she nearly clenched it. Ritsuko was safe, but she was being forced to work for the commander. That boy was an angel, they might be attacked by the government or they might not…Getting up, her cup fell to the ground and splashed harmlessly in a steaming puddle. Makoto called out after her, but Maya didn't listen, she just ran out of the room and to the command deck.

When she burst into the room, Misato was actually working much to Maya's shock, "Something wrong Ibuki?" Misato had a pen to her temple as she hovered over a slew of documents. The rest of the command bridge paid her little head service, just emotional Maya showing up again to cause trouble.

"Do you have a moment to talk about something…important?" Maya already was tugging on the cuff of Misato's jacket. They couldn't talk here, Fuyutski was up above watching them. But how could she get Misato to leave without rising suspicion?

Yanking her arm free, Misato gestured to a devastated view of the city's defense grid. "Sorry Ibuki-kun, I'm a bit busy right now. We're being raked over the coals about Unit-00, and our sorry state of defense. So unless its life or death, I really don't have time to chat right now," Misato didn't even sound angry, just tired. The burden of all of Nerv was on her now, the commanders were hardly around anymore, leaving all the important decisions to Katsuragi.

"I think you want to hear this," Maya took Misato's hand and placed it to her stomach. It was the only thing she could think of on the spot that would get Misato's attention from work. Shinji trumped most things for Misato, Maya knew. And claiming to be pregnant should get a rise out of the woman…and be cover enough to keep the spying eyes off of them.

Alternating between Maya's terrified face and her own hand over Maya's stomach, Misato was a vision of terror. A demon sent from hell to claim souls. Dragging Maya out of the room and to her tiny office, Misato slammed Maya's back against the door hard. "Bullshit you're pregnant! Ritsuko told me that LCL left him sterile, so unless she was wrong…and she better NOT be wrong…tell me the real reason you lied to me? Misato's strength was on full display, her muscles bunched making her look ten feet tall.

"I did lie to get you here…but it was the only way I could get you to listen to me!" Maya squeaked. Her head throbbed from the slam, but she didn't fault Misato for it. She had forgotten that little tidbit about LCL. If she WAS pregnant, it meant she cheated, and mamma-bear Misato would eat her alive. With her vision swimming, "I got a message from Senpai, she thinks the new pilot is an angel and that somebody called Seele might be trying to get the JSSDF to attack us after we take it out." Maya felt Misato's grip lessen slowly, and the stress lines on the woman's face slacken then get more intense.

Slamming her fist against the door, Misato let out an eloquent, "Fucking hell! Why can't we catch a break!" Storming around her office, Misato destroyed many of the smaller things she could get her hands or feet on. After she crumpled down her trashcan, "Thanks Ibuki….sorry about the…" she pointed at her head and fell into her chair, reclined back into it, and just stared up at the ceiling, "It's not fair…he's friends with that thing."

"I understand," Maya quickly fled the room and the devastation. Well color Maya wrong about Misato's feelings…woman did care and it wasn't just lust. But now Maya had the same connection that she forgot. If this new pilot was an angel, it was still a boy that Shinji was friends with, but one he'd have to kill! "This just isn't right," Maya wandered the base for the rest of her shift, nobody commented.

X-X

While Maya was heading off to meet with Misato, Shinji was wandering around the base as well. Sitting in the break area, phone in hand, Shinji waited for it to ring. Kaworu said he'd call him once his test was finished and they would hang out. Much against Shinji's wants, he found himself liking the odd boy more each time they hung out. They had to depend on each other for the next angel, which meant Kaworu could died there too. "I'm being pessimistic, Ritsuko-san said I need to stop that," Shinji looked over at the clock.

It was getting later in the day, didn't Kaworu say he should be ready by now? Tapping his foot, Shinji tried to quell his growing concerns. Muttering to himself, "I'm just being stupid. Everything is fine, he's likely just talking about things with Maya-chan." Thinking of the tomboyish Maya brought a smile back to Shinji's face. She had been overly affectionate this morning, she was the light sleeper between Ritsuko and her. Maya loved a slow morning go, where Ritsuko and he liked to go about it at night.

"Where are you Kaworu-kun?" Shinji slid his phone back in his pocket. He had spent all morning after Maya left thinking of what to do with Kaworu. It was strange, he didn't really know what to do with kids his own age. Well not when everything was gone or closed. Couldn't go to movies or the arcade, shopping was closed, and all the other entertainment options were gone. So Shinji hoped to play his cello for his strange friend, Kaworu seemed to really like music. Getting a can of tea from the vending machine, Shinji drank the whole thing waiting for that phone to ring, it never did.

When the lights shifted from normal to red-alarm lighting, sirens blaring, Shinji dropped his empty can in shock. In one moment he went from calm to panicked, he rushed to the hallway and saw people running about to their stations. "What the hell is happening?" his phone did finally ring but it wasn't Kaworu. Flipping it on, Shinji timidly asked, "W-who is this? What is going on?"

"Thank god you answered so fast. Look Ikari-kun we need you in base and in Unit-01 as soon as possible. We have a pattern blue on base and we can't get a hold of the Fifth Child," Shigeru's voice was uneven and strained.

Slowly on legs that didn't wish to move, Shinji forced himself towards the hanger. "I'm already on base, I was supposed to meet Kaworu about fifteen minutes ago. Where is Misato-san?" Shinji's speed increased. With the lethargy leaving him, he started running faster towards his mighty behemoth. Why couldn't they get ahold of Kaworu? He was testing with Maya, but he wasn't answering or around? If there wasn't an emergency he'd call Maya and ask her. He hated bothering Maya when she was working, she was quite the professional about such things. Keep work and play separate.

"I don't know, Ikari-kun. Ibuki came in here a few minutes ago and the two of them left. Look I can't talk right now, just go get into Unit-01 and I'll have more for you by then," Shigeru was sharp and just left the phone on empty air.

Well at least Maya was with Misato, that explained one thing at least. "If Maya got to Misato a few minutes ago…" the test had ended so Kaworu had to be on his way as well to the hanger. Ritsuko said there would only be seventeen angels, so after this and the Ayanami thing it would be over. Grabbing a set of neural connectors, he slapped them on and got into the plug nearly bowling over the tech there to assist him. In a fluid motion, he had done this so many times it was just rote repetition now. "Where is Unit-02?" he asked noticing Unit-01 was alone.

"Got details for you, Unit-02 activated on its own, no plug. It's making its way to Terminal Dogma, you have to intercept it. The pattern blue is emanating there as well. Be careful, Magi are picking up the strongest AT Field they have to date," Makoto's face popped up where Misato's usually did.

This was sounding much worse by the moment. Willing Unit-01 to the shaft that lead down to Terminal Dogma, Shinji paused to scan the descent. A long featureless drop into nothing, it was impossibly deep, and Asuka's Eva was down there waiting for him. "Wish you were here Asuka, you're going to be so mad at me," Shinji fell into the abyss.

Making himself as aerodynamic as possible, Shinji saw floors passing him in a blur and the red smudge up ahead was growing closer with arms stretched out. Waiting, it was waiting for him? That's when he saw the small flash of white hovering right before Unit-02's face. No…no that's wrong, it couldn't be right. "Kaworu-kun?" Shinji said incredulously. That casual smile was beamed through Unit-01's eyes to his plug.

"Hello Shinji-kun, sorry about this but it's something I have to do," Kaworu had his hands stuffed into his pockets.

Reaching out for Kaworu, willing Unit-01 not to squeeze to hard, Shinji wasn't expecting Unit-02 to stab at him. They finally landed on the ground, Unit-01 crashing into Unit-02 which shattered the steel ground into shards of plate. Head jarred from the collision, Shinji tried to get his vision to clear. What the fuck was happening here? Kaworu was flying? "What is going on here, somebody tell me something!" Shinji yelled as he forced Unit-01 to get back up. Making another reach for Kaworu, Shinji felt a sharp pain as an AT Field separated him from his target.

"Shinji-kun! The Fifth Child is actual an angel! You have to stop him before he reaches Terminal Dogma," Misato was disheveled and frantic. Wild eyed and hyperventilating, the woman couldn't keep her eyes on Shinji's screen for the life of her.

This couldn't be happening! Betrayed again, was that the only reason he existed was to be betrayed by nearly everybody he ever trusted!? "Kaworu-kun stop!" Shinji opened his external comm channel. About to rush after the floating body, Shinji stumbled when something grabbed his leg causing him to pitch forward. Twisting around on the ground, he saw the four eyes of Unit-02 shining at him. Oh yeah, this was still a thing. But anger and frustration boiled up in the hurt lad. Yelling out to the departing angel, "Don't do this!"

Lashing out with his knife, the sparks illuminated the dark pit as Unit-02's intercepted his. Alright, he had to deal with this fast, then get to Kaworu. Kicking at Unit-2's head, Shinji stomped again and again with resounding clangs each time. After the fourth hit, Shinji felt the hand on his left leg go lax and he got up. Unit-02 mimicked his motions, just sluggishly and haltingly. It was uncoordinated which made predicting its patterns much harder. It bobbed and weaved, in inhuman motions, a few times it swung at him, Shinji barely avoided it or just barely got clipped by the edge.

"Shinji you have to hurry! Heaven's Door is open!" Misato's voice was becoming static filled and hard to understand. Great just add more to him to worry about!

"Sorry Asuka, but I have to do this," Shinji didn't want to destroy Unit-02, but he had to do something. Asuka would have to forgive him, she wasn't here to prevent this anyway! So when Unit-02 swung at him, Shinji blocked the attack with his arm, and buried his own blade in Unit-02's neck and twisted. Unit-02 resisted, tried to push him off, Shinji's anger fueled him onward. Forcing the red monster to the ground, Shinji left the blade buried in its neck, it stopped moving.

Seeing nothing but gray screen on Misato's monitor, nor hearing her either, Shinji was on his own. Leaving the downed Unit-02 behind, Shinji rushed as fast as Unit-01 would go. Breaking the last of the melted door out of his way, Shinji saw Kaworu just floating before the monster of white. To much to think about, just deal with one thing at a time. "Kaworu-kun!" Shinji tried to grab Kaworu again and this time it worked. Encapsulating the small humanoid in his massive hand, Shinji held Kaworu out at full distance, "What is happening here?"

"I came to find Adam," Kaworu said with a hint of sadness, "But this…I don't know what it is. It feels like Lilith but her soul isn't in the body. This isn't right." His head was the only part visible, but he was still smiling softly.

Adam, Lilith, what the hell did any of that mean? Nothing made sense, this just had to be wrong, a mistake, or a dream! "Kaworu, what are you doing here? Why are you here!?" Shinji had to force himself to not squeeze in frustration. In the odd orange lighting of this room, Shinji saw a lake of LCL and an angel on a massive red cross.

Tilting his head to the side, Kaworu found the right camera and their eyes met. "I was going to fulfill my purpose. But I was mistaken, Adam isn't here, just the husk of Lilith. It explains a lot actually, what humans are, what your capabilities are. I'm sorry I had to hurt you, Shinji-kun. But in the end I'm glad it is you that is here with me," the voice was wheezing and coming out in puffs from the pressure.

"This is a lie! You can't be an angel! Did…did you meet me just to…with this being you plan?" Shinji screamed. Why couldn't anything good ever happen to him! He gets a girlfriend, she died. Gets good friends and maims one and watches another fall into a coma, befriends another person…and now he had to kill them?! "I can't do this…I just can't!" Shinji felt tears leaving his eyes and melting into the LCL. Please don't be true, please don't be real!

Coughing out a little blood, Kaworu wheezed out, "I never meant to hurt you. Of all the lilim I meant, I was happiest with you. B-be happy with…what is that?" Kaworu tried shifting his head around but couldn't move enough.

"And here I thought I felt something I could use," Ayanami leapt up to Unit-01's hand. Standing over Kaworu's head, the older looking woman just knelt down and caressed the top of the captured being. "Never expected to see the angel of freewill here, Tabris, you failed," she admonished like an disapproving mother.

Eyes just going wide, Shinji was near his breaking point. The twenty something looking Ayanami with long blue hair, was nude, and wrapping her hands under Kaworu's chin. "D-don't touch him!" Shinji called out, but didn't let go. He had to deal with this, but he wasn't ready yet!

"Oh don't worry, he wasn't why I came here. That lump of flesh over there is," Ayanami casually pulled up. She effortlessly plucked Kaworu's head off his body and held it by the hair, it spilled blood everywhere and stained Unit-01's hand. Looking into Tabris's now dead eyes, she tittered before chucking it into the lake of LCL. Pointing her finger over at the massive white being, it burst into blue flame and let out an unearthly howl. "Now all that's left is to get that man's hand. Then I'll collect you…and we will have eternity together," Lilith gazed lovingly into Shinji's eyes.

He couldn't move, Shinji found himself paralyzed both by the sight he just saw and Lilith's gaze. "Y-you killed him…why?" Shinji's hand clenched and added more mess. With Kaworu's blood dribbling down her, the red contrasted with the porcelain skin so dramatically it was haunting. "What are you?" Shinji whimpered as Lilith walked along Unit-01's arm closer to him. He wanted to run, to flee, to grab and crush her as he accidentally did Tabris's body, but he couldn't.

"Mother of all…and the one that loves you most and you love," Lilith's voice shifted and changed. She spoke in the perfect mannerisms as Rei did prior to her death. Reaching out to him, the softest and gentlest smile, she tilted her head just how his Rei used to that endeared her to him. Flying up to the camera she reached out to it, "I left you once, when I was incomplete I hunted for you in the wrong places. Now I'm whole again, and when I get what I need from the Commander, I will come for you…and we will be free from suffering and be free forever."

And just like that, Rei/Lilith flew off. It took Shinji a few minutes to collect himself to the point he could move again. Forcing his unyielding body to leave the lake of LCL, Shinji's head jerked when the frantic calls reached him. "Shinji-kun what is happening down there? We were getting strange readings and now nothing. Can you hear me? Answer me please!" Misato pleaded as her image finally popped back up.

"It's over, he's gone," Shinji could feel the slickness in his hand. Another friend gone, and he was partially responsible. Had he let Kaworu go, maybe he could have done something but he didn't. Shinji kept him trapped as the Ayanami-thing killed him. Finding a crane lowered down since he was down there, Shinji grabbed Unit-02 and the crane. "You can lift me up," he was just empty, he was done. Anything he put faith into, anything he cared about was destroyed.

It took much longer to go up than down. As he rose, Misato's concerned expression just looked at him for a few minutes before taking a risk. "Shinji-kun…you didn't have a choice. It was either him or all humanity. I can't…I can't say I know how you feel, but know I'll be here for you. You did a good thing," she offered a smile that didn't fit with her glistening eyes.

"That's cruel, Misato-san," Shinji stated calmly and squeezed his eyes shut. How could him killing another person, a friend, be a good thing? Couldn't there have been some other solution that didn't end with death? Turning off the monitor, Shinji didn't want to hear anymore fake platitudes. He assisted in the murder of a friend, hell he was planning on doing it himself! Humanity did take priority over his wants, why he was here still. The silence of the ascent just left him to stew in his own funk and growing depression. It had been a short friendship, but it had been vibrant and so desperately needed, and now it was gone. When he nearly fell out of his plug, he felt Maya's arms embrace him.

Holding him up and hugging him at the same time, his LCL staining her uniform, "Shin-chan…we didn't know until…Shin-chan?" Maya was stunned when Shinji gently but firmly freed himself from her soft hold. She just gaped at him open mouthed and confused.

"Ayanami was down there…she…with my help…we both killed him," Shinji felt light headed and fuzzy. Taking a step back away from Maya, his world shifted in a swirl. To many emotions, to much depression, and Shinji was throwing in the towel at the moment. Fainting away, the last thing he saw before the sweet embrace of sleep enfolded him, was Maya rushing to catch him as he fell.

X-X

"What happens now?" Makoto asked as he got a cup of coffee from the vending machine. Three days since the bases infiltration by the latest angel, nobody really knew what was happening. Somebody sent them the Fifth Child and said kid turned out to be an angel. The angels could look like humans, where did that leave them? Adding a generous amount of sugar to his coffee, he sipped it to his satisfaction.

Shigeru favored a lemon-lime soda, and cracked it open. "Wish I knew, man, wish I knew. I mean we still have that Unit-00 thing hiding somewhere. But other than that, I think we'll be decommissioned soon. Hell, after that last thing is dealt with…this is the end right? We succeeded," he tried sounding joyful. It didn't work, both men felt the same growing fear. Something was building, culminating in something they just didn't have all the pieces to guess.

Heading back to the command bridge, Makoto waved at Maya who sat listlessly at her station. "And then we have this mess," he hissed out to himself. Drinking harder, more to delay his inevitable confrontation with his friend. Maya did not look like the happy woman he saw before the latest attack. "I hope you're right," he answered Shigeru, "I'm ready for this to be over. Tired of being worried about the next angel all the time." Constant fears of global annihilation was a quick way to burn out.

"Be great for my girlfriend to come back to town. She moved out after the Unit-00 took out her job, moved in with her mother in Osaka," Shigeru spun his chair around and plopped into it. Grabbing a clipboard on his station, he hummed, slapped it with his hand, and tossed it to Makoto with a happy grin. Stretching his hands above his head, his longer hair fell over his eyes, "Well at least Unit-02's damage is repaired. Ikari-kun took it down with some skill this time, hardly damaged Unit-02 but took it down. Knife right where the entry plug would have been. Glad nobody was in it."

Sadly Shigeru didn't see Makoto frantically shaking his hands trying to stop his rhetoric. He had made the mistake the day of the attack and said something similar, Maya was not in agreement. Seeing the girl getting up, his shoulders sagged, oh great this was going to happen. "Really wished you hadn't said that," Makoto sat down and got ready for the whirlwind.

"Did you forget about that boy?" Maya asked loudly as she approached the pair. Hair disheveled and clothing a little wrinkled, Maya's lip curled up in a sneer. "He had to kill that boy, his friend. So while he didn't hurt anybody IN Unit-02, he did kill its pilot!" Maya hurled at the man. Looking up to where Misato should have been, it was empty now however, Maya scoffed, "And she had the gall to congratulate him for it. Told him he did a good thing. A good thing? Did she not even know how close those two got?"

Yeah, Makoto hadn't thought about it the fight as Maya had at first either. After hearing her much longer and more explosive outburst, Makoto had been left floored by it. Yeah, that poor kid did have it hard didn't he? Every time the younger Ikari had any positive events come his way, they were countered with something just as negative if not more. But that wasn't what got Makoto feeling bad, he hardly knew Shinji. Maya though, his heart went out for Maya. She had been so happy talking about her relationship with who he eventually learned was Akagi and Shinji. And where were those two now?

"Maya, calm down a little, he didn't know," Makoto tried to defuse Maya before she got louder. Holding both hands out, he lowered in a cycle trying to get Maya to calm down or at least keep the volume down. It didn't work as well as he wanted, Maya just shifted her focus to him and stopped mid rant, and glared at him. "H-how is he doing? Any better?" Makoto tried to steer the conversation away to safer areas. Wow was she actually quite beautiful when she was anger, the light in her eyes, the color in her cheek, quite unexpected.

Maya did stop her verbal assault on Shigeru and her anger collapsed into concern. Crossing her arms, she pressed them to her stomach and dipped her head low. "He's talking again, just really depressed. I can't blame him either. He has a test later today, so he's on site today," Maya wasn't saying something, but it clearly pained her. Walking back to her station, something in how she moved, got Makoto to follow her. Shigeru tried to stop him, tugging on his slacks and shaking his head now, Makoto ignored that and went anyway.

"What is it, what aren't you telling us?" Makoto asked after rapping his knuckle on Maya's station. He contemplated grabbing her shoulder, but felt that went to far. Don't touch people who don't expect it, or want it. Maya jerked a little, and when he saw her face he winced at the red eyes. Swallowing hard, "Maya, something happened didn't it?"

Nodding her head once slow time, Maya drew her hands and put them on her legs, right on top of the left. "He-he moved back in with Katsuragi. Took his cello with him too," she sniffed hard. Gripping her hands tighter, Makoto heard the knuckles pop. Eyes closed, she shudder sighed, and just crumpled in on herself. "I know he's hurting, but he…he said he was worried if we stayed together something would happen to me. He's just cutting himself off from everything and everyone. I just need to give him time…but it's hard," Maya admitted.

"Just give him some time. He's young…he'll be back," Makoto offered with little sincerity. Fleeing the emotional woman, his conscious called him a coward. But what could he say to her? Shinji was having a mental breakdown and broke up with Maya? Great, they had one pilot left and he was an emotional wreck after countless losses. So why did Makoto want to punch the ungrateful little punk for hurting Maya? Maya had lost a lot herself hadn't she, and the self-righteous little… "No, I'm just siding with Maya because she's my friend. Just stay out of it…it'll work itself out."

Oh he hoped it worked itself out. Without Shinji they more than likely would die to the Ayanami thing. "Just wish I knew what was happening here, really do," but he didn't. Going back to his station, he worked as best he could on what little there was to work on. The defense grid was in tatters still, the repair work on Terminal Dogma was halted as they didn't have the materials to fix it, and Unit-02 had no pilot. Playing with the ring on his finger, he tried not to dwell on all the negative, but it kept coming back. Where were the commanders? They've been gone since the opening of Heaven's Gate. Katsuragi had been on base nearly all the time, and snapping at everybody.

"Everything is just going to hell, and we're so nearly at the end," Makoto really hoped. When Misato did come into the command bridge, Maya and she got into it and into it hard. Maya hurled horrible accusations that Katsuragi was going to try something with Shinji, while Misato just ignored it. Makoto left the bridge and finished his shift in the relatively empty Eva hanger. He just wanted to go home to Aoi, and when his shift did end, he found Aoi home cooking some supper. She didn't have much to do thanks to the state of things.

They ate in relative ease, Makoto asked Aoi her opinion of the Maya situation. Aoi's opinion was it was just Shinji blowing off steam, but did offer to talk to him if Maya wanted. She did have a knack for helping people, considered to career in psychology. He'd ask Maya if she'd want to try it. Kid needed some therapy after all. After supper he read a little while Aoi did a little painting. He slept well with Aoi in his arms, but he had the nagging sense that he was the only one sleeping well that night.

X-X

Authors Notes

Story is nearly ending…man I feel sad to say it but its happening. Changing things up with the whole Lilith being around and free angle and I think its working. I keep forgetting how few active characters are around at the end of this darn thing. Hope you enjoyed it, even though it is a bit dark. Oh and have a happy/safe New Years and I hope you continue to read my oddities come next year.

Oh and yes a few people have asked and I have taken over Mercaba's stories so when you see a Mercaba update that is me writing. I write my more 'mature' stories there in case they get taken down/banned.

Ja Mata

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