,Stay
A/n: My procrastinating is getting really serious now so im really sorry:( please review more it keeps me going
Chapter 22
'Poppet, there's something I need to tell you.' Daddy called from the doorway of his study room at home. I set down my patchwork and went in with him. Sitting down opposite my father in a room surrounded by hills of papers and documents, and looking at his pale face, I felt a sense of foreboding. Daddy had never been this formal with me before. He had slimmed down a bit, from stress no doubt. He took out a handkerchief and wiped his forehead before clasping his hands and looking straight at me, not speaking. I raised an eyebrow. 'Yes, daddy?' I feigned a look of confusion, though I knew perfectly well what was going on.
After contemplating me to his content, Daddy sat up straight and cleared his throat. 'Well (f/n) dear, tomorrow we shall be expecting a few very important visitors after church. I need you to display your best entertaining skills Peggotty has ever taught—' 'Who are they, daddy?' I cut in. The man stuttered for a bit, glancing at me. 'Mayor Leggard and his son, my love.' My grip on the chair arm tightened. 'And what business do they have to do with us?' I resolved to not let Daddy know I overheard his conversation with Lord Derreck. It would somehow make things worse. Best to play dumb for now.
Daddy had a slight frown on his face and took his time to answer. 'Oh pumpkin, they just want to…tighten bonds, that's all.' He was lying. 'Don't lie to me, daddy. You made that promise to me before. What is their purpose?' I strained to keep my voice steady. My father heaved a sigh and nodded his head. 'I'm sorry, (f/n) dear. I shouldn't lie. According to my knowledge, Colin has taken a fancy on you, and he has set a date for tomorrow to come and woo you.'
My heart pounded as it had never before as I forced myself to remain calm and not rush out the door to find Jack. The horrible truth of the situation was setting in. And every part of me knew that whether Colin succeeded in wooing me or not, the date of our marriage was set and would be carried out according to schedule. I took in a deep breath.
'I don't want to marry him, daddy.' My voice shook and I cursed myself. I had to be strong and firm in this matter. Daddy shook his head and covered his face with his hands. 'The boy will just try to impress you, darling. If you don't want to do it in front of other people, we can arrange a private meeting between you two.' I shook my head violently with a scowl on my face. Daddy put his hands on the desk and gazed at me. 'I'm a man, (f/n). I don't know how these matters work as much as your mother knew.' His eyes darted to the faded picture of my mother on the shelf beside his desk. A fresh wave of sadness washed over me and I softened a bit at the man who had to bring me up by himself for all these years. Daddy stared at my mother for a full minute before turning back to me, his eyes lit up.
'How about this, honey? We entertain our guests tomorrow, and you let Colin do whatever he does to woo you. If you really have no feelings towards him, this whole thing can be forgotten.' Daddy smiled at me for the first time. My jaw dropped. If he was making this offer, that meant he wasn't that pressured into giving me away to Colin. And I wouldn't be forced to marry him. What mattered most was, Jack and I would still have a chance. I jumped up and ran to hug my father. 'I'll do it, Daddy! Thank you.' I pecked him on the cheek and skipped out of the room.
As I ascended up the stairs to my room, my heart became heavier and heavier. I really didn't want to face the unpleasant Colin Leggard anymore than cats liked to take baths. This was a real fix, and the thought that Daddy wouldn't keep the deal constantly played at the back of my mind. But he was my father. He wouldn't ever do such a thing. My thoughts grew impatient as I willed the day after tomorrow to come quicker. Jack and I had agreed on meeting that night to discuss what we should do now that we knew each other's feelings. Memories of his kisses swam up in my mind. I only brought them up when I needed hope, and strength to pull through everyday until we could be together without any objections. I looked around for my ring, but it wasn't on the mantelpiece where I last left it. 'Maybe it's in the drawer,' I murmured to myself.
A knock came at the door. 'Come in.' I snapped out of my daydream. Peggotty came bustling in, holding a tray of fresh baked scones in one hand and an old box in the other. 'Dear, we need to talk.' The old maid put her things on my study table and hurried to lock the door. Her mouth was in a straight line, and she was tenser than I'd ever seen her. 'Your father has gone out again for dinner with his colleagues. This is the best time to talk.' I stood there confused as she pulled the curtains over the setting sun. When she turned to look at me wringing my hands in nervousness, her face softened. 'Oh my baby. Come here.' Peggotty put her arms around me and hugged me tight. I hadn't realized until now that I'd grown taller than her by a head. She pulled away and smoothed my hair out of my face. 'You're a grown woman, (f/n). Come.' She dragged me to the bed and we sat down. 'Now, I'm not going to beat around the bush, dear.' Something in her eye told me she knew. And then I started to cry.
Peggotty pulled me in and I laid my head on her shoulder, my body racking with sobs. This was already so hard with Jack, and now with Peggotty petting my back and sniffling herself, I felt like the most pitiful creature in the world. I cried myself out then stayed in Peggotty's embrace. 'It's—It's not fair, Peggotty.' I breathed in shakily. She kept patting my back. 'Dear, let me tell you that I've feared something like this would happen ever since I met you.' She pulled back so I had to look at her face. Her eyes were slightly red, her face fierce. 'Leave it to a man to put his daughter in such a situation. I'm sorry, honey, but you have to accept that your father did this to you. He had a choice, and he chose his dignity over you.' Peggotty shook her head furiously.
'How did you know?' I whispered. 'There are no secrets among the maids in the market, my love. Martha overheard father and son discussing about it in the drawing room while she was passing by. Thought she'd risk her life to hear more.' 'Why?' I frowned. Peggotty smiled. 'Because she likes you, (f/n). You're well known among Leggard's maids, and also quite a few people in town.'
Horror struck me. If so many people knew who I was, then I had put Jack in so much danger by spending time with him, in public. Peggotty watched me closely as I gathered my thoughts. 'It's not your fault, (f/n). Your mother would have wanted you to marry for love, my dear.' She reached a hand into her pocket. 'I believe this is yours?' She dropped something into my palm.
It was my ring.
Dumbfounded, I wasn't sure whether to cry or feel afraid that Peggotty knew what was going on. I stared at the ring, glinting faintly in my palm. It had been a week since I'd seen Jack, a full week since he proposed that I wait for him. Now our secret was out.
Peggotty tilted my chin up to make me look at her. We were silent, but no words were needed. She knew everything. 'I won't tell your father, darling.' Peggotty smiled at me. A happy smile. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. 'Honestly, (f/n), you're a grown woman, but still a child, too. No one should be carted off to marriage at this young an age. But since your heart has chosen someone, I give you my blessing. I'd rather you be a good farmer's wife than have to see you spend your days weeping in silk gowns.' She took the ring and admired it in the dying sun's rays. 'Nothing fancy, yet you can see the hard work it took to acquire such a beautiful thing.' The ring was slipped onto my finger, and I wiped away my tears to see Peggotty cry again.
'My child, you couldn't have done better.' The old maid patted my cheek. I held in my tears, being emotional was something I hated but couldn't control. We stayed in silence for a while before Peggotty picked up the old box she brought in. 'I found this while sorting through the old boxes. Seems like it was your mother's.' I took the old wooden box in my hands and felt its carved surface. It gave off a fragrance that I associated with my mother. It was fairly large. Flipping up the steel clasp, I opened the box to see white fabric spill out over the sides. Pure white and soft as feathers, lace lined the cloth edges as I reached a hand to run over the surface. Silk.
Slowly I began to pull the silk out of the box. It slid out like fluid between my fingers.
Eventually I saw sleeves, then a sash. I gaped at Peggotty. It was a wedding dress.
My mother's wedding dress.
I had no idea why my mother wanted to stuff her most beautiful dress into such a box and not a proper trunk. 'How did you know, Peggotty?' I asked. She'd never even met my deceased mother. Peggotty then handed me a note. 'I opened the box to check what was inside, and I found this. Forgive me for trespassing, dear.' I mumbled it was nothing, and proceeded to read the note. It was a short one: "My dear (f/n), I know when you read this I'll be gone. This is the only worthwhile thing I have to leave for you. I hope to see you wear it one day, when you are joined with the one your heart adores the most. For only then will I rest, knowing you are happy. Your loving mother."
I stared at the wrinkled piece of paper, the faded writing barely visible in the fading light. 'Either your father forgot about it, or he didn't know.' Peggotty offered me a buttered scone. 'Here, eat this. You don't mind having this for dinner, do you?' I nodded. 'You'll stay here with me right, Peggotty?' She nodded. 'Never thought you'd still want to dine with your old Peggotty.' She chuckled.
As I ate my simple dinner with milk, I admired mother's dress. 'Do you think it fits me?' I wondered, holding the silk up to my body. 'You can always try it on after.' Peggotty fingered the material, muttering to herself. Nodding eagerly, I swallowed my scone and dusted off the crumbs. In the washroom I stripped to my undergarments
, and held the dress out in front of me. The white cloth seemed to illuminate a faint glow of its own in the unlit space I was standing. Dainty little buttons ran down the back of the dress, so I opened them and carefully stepped in. Bringing it up around me, I slipped my arms into the short sleeves and felt the silk hug my body comfortably. The sash extended into a train about a meter long behind me, pearls adorning the bodice and skirt. I heaved a sigh of relief as the collar wasn't cut too deep.
Stepping back out into the bedroom, I heard Peggotty gasp. 'It's perfect, dear.' I did a twirl for her and almost tripped over my foot. 'You have to be more graceful, (f/n). After all, you're about to be married off soon.' Peggotty smiled kindly. My heart bounced at the thought. I twirled again, this time a perfect round. The maid clapped her hands and laughed as I curtsied for her. A late summer breeze blew in through the window, fluttering the sash and my sleeves. I was in love with that dress. It fit just right, but something told me to keep my dad from finding out about it.
'It's getting late, honey. The other servants may think it strange that I spent so long a time in here. Your father may hear of it.' At this she lowered her voice. 'Take great care to not be seen with Jack in public, (f/n). Most villagers already know about—, lets just say if you don't come up with a plan, you will be married with Leggard as soon as possible.' I blinked. 'But Daddy made a deal with me. He said if Colin isn't able to woo me tomorrow, this whole matter can be forgotten of.' I said hopefully. Peggotty shook her head sadly. 'I don't know if we can trust that, (f/n). We'll just see how tomorrow turns out. But remember, you must think of a plan. I will help you to the end, my dear.'
My head was spinning as I went to change out of the wedding dress. Peggotty helped me fold the dress and gently put it into the box without creasing it. I decided to hide it in a dark corner underneath my bed. 'Sweet dreams tonight, poppet.' The old maid bent to kiss my forehead and excused herself, leaving me to be consumed by my overthinking about what would happen tomorrow.
Peggotty shook me awake by 7 in the morning. 'Hurry, (f/n). They will be here at 10 and you need to look your best.' I scowled as I pulled the covers over my eyes to shield the piercing sunlight flooding into the room. All of a sudden, I felt tired, like I had no energy to face anything anymore. 'I'm scared, Peggotty.' My fingers clutched the sheets as the maid made me sit up and handed me a glass of water. 'The only way to get it over with is to face it, my dear. Come, drink and wash up.' I gulped down the drink and before long, two more young maids had come in to help me put on my dress.
'But isn't simple better, Peggotty?' I asked as she produced an elaborate, freshly laundered dress covered with bows and frills that made me want to gag. 'It's just for today, miss.' One of the maids, apparently named Midge, piped in. 'We detest it even more than you do.' Her companion, Val, I think, elbowed her hard in the ribs, her face embarrassed. 'I'm just saying the truth,' Midge shrugged while rubbing her side. 'To be very frank with you, miss, Val and I and a few other servants don't like this idea of marrying you off to that snake at all. We're on your side.' She grinned widely. Val nodded her head ferociously. I turned to Peggotty, looking for an explanation. 'You wouldn't think I'd simply let any other maid come in and dress you when I can do it myself?' she smiled. Immediately I embraced my two new friends, thanking them for their support.
'There's no need for that miss. Just tell us, are you…secretly in love with Frost?' Midge looked so excited she was about to blow. 'Uhm, you mean Jack? Yeah.' I blushed as the two girls squealed and started to fangirl. 'I told you, Midge, she's the luckiest girl ever!' 'I know. But Jack Frost! Can you believe it?' Peggotty shushed them and insisted we get ready, and in two hours they had my hair set and my dress secured.
'Kick him in the shin, miss,' Midge giggled as her and Val left the room. I grinned back. Now I had to wait until the guests arrived before going downstairs. Curls of hair in my updo kept tickling my neck and I pushed them away, careful to not ruin the make up. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, more dressed up than I'd ever been. The front of the dress was cut so low that I wondered how Peggotty let herself put it on me. Jack would be horrified if he could see me now. I laughed at the thought.
Finally Peggotty came in and said it was time. Already I could hear voices floating up from downstairs as I picked up my skirt and followed her down the corridors. At the grand stairs, Peggotty squeezed my hand and went before me around the corner where my guests would come into view. Hesitating, I swallowed the lump in my throat before descending.
First person I saw was Daddy sitting on the couch beside the grand armchair, which held the long, skinny form of Mayor Leggard. They were conversing with each other on something that made Daddy keep wiping his forehead with his kerchief. My eyes met Colin who was admiring a painting Daddy bought from India. As soon as I passed the first step his eyes met mine. I looked away, willing my face to not burn. It was embarrassing enough to be dolled up like this in front of my enemies, not to mention that I knew exactly what their real motive was.
The mayor rose to take my hand. 'Ah, the lovely Miss (l/n), it is a pleasure to meet you.' His clammy skin made me grit my teeth as I took it. Good thing I was wearing my gloves when he stooped to kiss my hand. '(f/n), I am delighted to see you again.' Colin's voice reverberated in my skull as he slid his arm around my waist. Startled, I backed away from him. 'Yes, hi…sir.' He chuckled. ' Call me Colin, please. Would you mind showing me around your mansion? I'm very much fascinated by it.'
Oh great.
I glanced at my father. He made an attempt at an encouraging smile before Leggard started talking to him again. Mouth pressed into a straight line, I reluctantly accepted Colin's arm and walked up the stairs again. As soon as we were out of the two men's sight, Colin slipped his hand out of my grasp. I was only too happy to let him when he made to hold my waist. 'I've been waiting to get you alone, baby.'
What the hell?
Smirking at me, he ushered me up more stairs before making a sharp turn into a lonely corridor where the servants seldom passed. 'What're you doing, Leggard?' I hissed. It seemed like he knew the mansion too well for my liking. I squirmed about, hoping to get his arm away from me. 'Shush, I want to tell you something.' He backed me into a corner. By then I was straight out pushing him off me, but his hold was firm. Holding me against the wall, Colin wiped the sweat off his forehead and stared at me with his green eyes. I glared back, debating whether to head-bump him or kick his nuts. 'You're a difficult one, (f/n). But you'll still be mine. And no matter what you do, you can never escape it.' I gazed horrified at Colin, his grip hurting my wrists as he pressed me against the carved wooden wall.
'Since I'll be having you eventually anyways, a little taste of what's to come wouldn't hurt.' With that he slid his hands down my body and gripped my behind. Fear paralyzed me, and when I was about to scream Colin kissed me harshly, a hand reaching up to clasp around my neck. I seemed to be watching myself from afar, detached from my body as he reached his tongue into my mouth. The folds of my dress front were pushed aside as he hungrily groped my chest. 'Stop, Colin.' I whimpered, but he took no heed. 'Please.' Absolutely terrified, I was helpless, pushed against the wall of my own house as the enemy let his hands roam free over my body. I felt like a trapped animal, captured to be abused.
Then out of nowhere, a surge of adrenaline burst through my veins. With all my might I bit down hard on Colin's lip, and kneed him right in the groin. He moved away with a cry of agony, hands cradling himself as he knelt down on the floor. Still overcoming the shock of what had happened, I shakily pulled my dress front together and stared at him helpless on the floor, squirming in pain. Before I knew it, my feet were carrying me away from Colin, hastily running up the flights and flights of stairs, an endless journey before I reached my room. Bursting through the door, I locked it and sat down with my back against the wood.
And cried.
'Oh she's fine, Sir (l/n), (f/n) was just feeling a bit worn so she retired to her room.' Colin's voice drifted up the staircase. 'Oh, what's with my lip? Lets just say someone got a bit excited just now.' I could hear the evil smirk in his voice as I quietly closed the door in disgust. That snake, I mouthed to myself. So that's how he gets out of this. And now Daddy will think I'm head over heels in love with him.
Anger bubbled inside me, but the shock of Colin's assault still lingered fresh in my mind. I had gotten rid of the vile frilly dress and donned an old comfortable blouse and skirt, then went back to sit against the door. Daddy would certainly blow his top if he knew about what happened, but how was I supposed to tell him?
At night long after the visitors had gone, Peggotty came into my room. 'Is there something you'd like to tell me, dear?' her worried gaze begged me to explain why I'd suddenly kissed Colin when that same morning my hate for him could move a mountain. I shook my head. Peggotty had just sat down on my bed when I broke down and told her everything that happened. She listened with her lips tight and eyes concentrated on me, her hair pulled back so tight every wrinkle on her face was visible.
'I'm scared, Peggotty.' I squeaked, my head on her shoulder. The old maid's face was unreadable. 'I'm so sorry, (f/n).' She shook her head, eyebrows furrowed and her muscles tense as she pulled me into the tightest hug yet. 'I'll help you as much as I can, honey. As much as I can do to protect you from him.'
That night I fell asleep in her arms.
My breath hitched as I looked from my seat on the window sill towards the ground. It had been such a long time since I climbed down from there to reach Jack that I had forgotten how far from the ground I was. Dressed in some of Midge's old clothing that Peggotty had managed to obtain from her, I surveyed the surrounding. It was 5 in the morning, but the summer sun would be out any minute and I wanted to sneak through the streets unseen. Only Peggotty knew I was sneaking out to meet Jack, and she'd managed to convince my father to take a rest today and go out with his colleagues on a hunting trip so I could stay out without him being suspicious.
Gritting my teeth, I grabbed the ivy vines and slowly inched myself down. I reached the ground and slipped through the unlocked gate, whispering silent thanks to Peggotty for all she'd done. Quickly I ran through the lanes into the west side of the town square, racing against the sun. My breaths were heavy as I came to a stop at the front of a shoe-maker's shop, resting my hands against my knees.
When I lifted my head, a figure wearing a straw hat and a cloak was standing on the sidewalk opposite my row of shops. Silently I closed the distance between us. '(f/n)?' the person whispered, his hand reaching out momentarily before hastily slipping it back into his pocket. 'Hey Jack.' We flashed each other a smile before he turned to go, leading me through the dark lanes to our place.