Thanks to plainjanedee for beta'ing this!

9. I Will Never Let You Down

Tell me baby, what we gonna do

I'll make it easy, got a lot to lose

Watch the sunlight, coming through

Open the window, let it shine on you

'Cause I've been sick and working all week

And I've been doing just fine

You've been tired of watching me

Forgot to have a good time, boy

You can take it all these faces

Never keeping it real

I know exactly how you feel

When you say you've had enough

And you might just give it up

Oh, oh I will never let you down

When you feeling low on love

I'll be what you dreaming of

Oh, oh I will never let you down

There's a million ways to go

Don't be embarrassed if you lose control

On the rooftop, now you know

Your body's frozen and you lost your soul

'Cause I've been sick and working all week

And I've been doing just fine

You've been tired of watching me

Forgot to have a good time, boy

You can take it all these faces

Never keeping it real

I know exactly how you feel

Let me take you where you never go

Have a little fun, it's the only way we know

Let me show you what you never see

You know how to love only when you're holding me

I Will Never Let You Down ~ Rita Ora

BPOV

After making us all some rather scrumptious carbonara and feeding Ethan his last milk for the night, we said goodbye to Mary and I went about putting Jaymie to bed while Jake washed up-his rule, not mine.

Pulling out Jaymie's new Anna and Elsa pyjamas from her Sven backpack-yes, this kid was obsessed with Frozen-I walked over to my quietly humming little princess and began to help her undress. Removing her crown and dress, she silently lifted up her arms as I began to thread each one through the sleeve. As I pulled the turquoise cotton top down and over her belly, I asked, "Did you have a nice birthday, honey?"

Yawning and rubbing her eyes, she replied sleepily, "The best."

Chuckling, I bent down to her level and helped her slide on her bottoms as she clung onto my shoulders for support. "How about all of your gifts? Did you like all of them?"

Nodding vigorously, and suddenly full of energy and animation, Jaymie bounced up and down excitedly. "I love them! Especially the one from you and Mr. Jake!"

Yeah, I guess that probably sounds way too crazy, and way too soon-you know, me and him buying gifts together, but I don't know, it just kind of felt...right. He wanted to get her something because they'd grown pretty close over the time we'd known each other, but he wasn't exactly clued-up on what a five-year-old would want, so...we just kind of decided to get her a gift from the both of us.

And it worked! She loved them! We'd decided to put together a kind of Frozen gift bag full of fun gifts. It cost an arm and a leg-on my part. I wasn't about to let Jake pay for the expensive things when he had a baby to take care of, but it was totally worth it to see the smile on her face.

Smiling up at her sparkling eyes, I placed a chaste kiss on her nose and pulled her in for a hug. "I'm glad you had a good day, sweetie." Pulling back, I framed her rosy cheeks and said, "Now, why don't we get you tucked up in bed so you can get some sleep, huh? How does that sound."

Nodding in agreement, I pulled the beige covers back and helped her into bed, when she turned and looked at me with the wide, pleading eyes. "What's wrong, baby girl?"

Lying back in bed and wringing her fingers together, she asked shyly, "D-Do you think it'd be okay if Mr. Jake read me a bedtime story?"

Not being able to contain the smile on my face, I leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I don't think there'd be a problem there. Do you want me to call him in?" Jaymie bobbed her head timidly and nervously began to play with her bed covers. "Okay, sweetie. Stay right there. I'll be right back."

Walking out of the room, I headed down the softly lit hall and into the kitchen where I saw Jake reaching up to put a glass into the overhead cabinet, and Ethan yawning, babbling and slapping his high chair. God, that man's sexy.

"See something you like there, beautiful?" He asked, cocking an amused brow at me. Busted. Dammit.

Blushing, I smiled and wrapped my arms around my midsection. "Jaymie was wondering if you'd read her a bedtime story."

Looking at me in a state of bewilderment and awe, he asked, "Seriously?"

Nodding, I echoed, "Seriously. She's tucked up in bed with her Beauty and The Beast book waiting for you."

Drying his hands on the dishcloth, he threw it on the island and started toward me. Smiling proudly, he nodded. "Sure, sure. I'd be honoured."

Smiling animatedly, I quietly tip-toed over toward Ethan and held out my arms in invitation. "Awesome! Let's just get this little guy and I'll put him to bed while you see to Jaymie." Flailing his arms and legs happily, Ethan showed me that gorgeous gummy grin. "Hey there, cutie. Don't you just look all scrumptious in your Redskins onesie," I cooed, tickling his tummy. "You know, it's a real shame your daddy has such poor taste in football teams. While there's something to be said for team loyalty, making such a handsome little thing like you wear something as sad as this is just setting you up for disappointment," I remarked grinning, waiting to see if Jake would take the bait.

Coming up behind me, Jake placed his large hands on either side of my waist before leaning down and skimming his mouth over my ear. His hot breath did nothing to sedate my desire for him. "Making fun of a man's football team isn't wise, beautiful."

Biting my lip, I felt excitement surge through my veins as his alluring tone seeped into my body. "Well, I do admire your tenacity. It requires a high level of commitment to stay faithful to a team like the Redskins. It's only been, what, 22 years since they were in a Super Bowl, after all," I smirked, tauntingly.

Jake's eyes narrowed. "I guess that's a testament to my character, then, isn't it? It's easy to be a fan when your team has the likes of Manning," he challenged, arching an amused brow.

Scoffing in offense at the implied insult that I was a fair-weather fan, I shot back, "My loyalty to the Broncos has zilch to do with Manning! Yeah, he's a kick-ass quarterback and can score a touchdown with the best of them, but he's not the reason I'm passionate about my team! Our defense is brutal! Just ask the Seahawks." Okay, so that wasn't strictly true, but I wasn't about to admit that to him.

Jake chortled in response. "Baby, the Broncos practically handed the trophy to the Seahawks. They spanked you 43-8!" Leaning forward, he skimmed his lips across mine and murmured, "Admit it, beautiful, you got schooled and you know it."

Raising an eyebrow, I glared at him, "I admit nothing."

He threw back his head and laughed boisterously. Leaning down, he whispered sensually, "I can't wait to watch the game with you."

Lifting Jake's pride and joy into my arms, I cradled him close and turned in his father's arms, answering flirtatiously, "Really, and why's that?"

Dipping down, my eyes couldn't help but drift to his arms and the way his muscles contracted with his movement. Sweet Jesus. Switching his heated gaze between my lips and eyes, he answered huskily, "'Cause I love your passion and you look fucking hot when you're riled up. I can't wait to see you in action."

Trying and failing to suppress my hunger for him, I took a deep breath and decided to divert this conversation onto safer grounds. As much as I loved flirting with him, someone needed to think clearly. "C'mon, a certain little girl is waiting for you to read her a story." Taking his hand, I led him into Jaymie's room. "I think you've pretty much got this covered, so I'm gonna put this little one down and head to bed myself." With Ethan wiggling and fussing in my arms, I walked over to Jaymie, kissed her forehead and whispered goodnight, before looking over at Jake. Gazing into his hooded eyes, the hairs on my arms stood to attention. "'Night, Jake."

I moved to walk out of Jaymie's room, but before I could, Jake hastily reached out and grabbed my wrist. Turning me toward him, I found his beautiful brown orbs trained on mine with an intensity and urgency that was enough to bring any woman to her knees. Gently, he curled his calloused fingers around my small hand and opened his mouth to say something. I waited with bated breath, hoping and praying he'd tell me to wait up for him or pull me in for a kiss...but nothing came out. Instead, he averted his eyes to the floor, sighed heavily and dropped my hand. And in a dejected and resigned voice he replied, "'Night, Bells."

My heart sank and disappointment crept through my veins, and I wondered what it was going to take to break down the walls surrounding his heart.

~UH~

JPOV

Sometime later, after reading Jaymie her story-twice-I quietly closed her door, did a quick check on my son, and then made my way along the dimly lit hall to my bedroom. The room that for one night, would allow me to fall asleep with the woman of my dreams in my arms. Fuck, I was nervous. My hands trembled, my heart pounded against my chest and a light layer of sweat had built on my forehead.

Christ! You'd think I was some fifteen-year-old kid about to get laid for the first time! I just could not calm the fuck down. And while every bit of my heart and every fibre of my being was demanding that I go into the bedroom, take that beautiful brunette into my arms and show her just how much she meant to me, my mind was throwing up all kinds of roadblocks. I wanted her, so goddamn badly, but because of my fucked up insecurities, and my screwed up past, I knew that I couldn't do that, not until I'd been completely honest with her.

I didn't wanna go into a relationship with her and have my past hanging over my head like a guillotine waiting to drop. I needed to be open and honest, and pray to God that she understood and could see past it all. Because while I was scarred from my history with my ex, I was fucking terrified that after I'd told Bella the truth, she'd run for the hills and I'd never see her again. I couldn't handle that. Being without her...it would end me.

So, yeah, every time I thought about going into the bedroom and finding her laying across my bed, with her delicious raspberry and vanilla scent clinging to my pillow and her comforting warmth radiating off of the sheets, I literally choked. The thought alone was too much for me. The idea of her stunning body tangled in my bedsheets had my adrenalin pumping through my body, making me even more skittish.

"Fuck," I growled, raking my hands through my hair and interlacing them across my neck. Sighing, I made a quick u-turn, and headed back down the hall. Yeah, I knew I was taking the coward's way out, but how in the hell could I face her like this, when I couldn't even get my hands to quit shaking.

Stopping at the kitchen, I debated opening another beer, but I needed a clear head so I grabbed a water instead. Attempting to give myself a pep talk, I unscrewed the cap and brought the bottle to my lips. Taking a long, hearty gulp, I put the cap back on and set the water back in the fridge. Moving toward the island, I leaned down and rested my elbows on the cool marble before scrubbing my hands over my face, tiredly. I needed to snap the hell out of this downward spiral I'd thrown myself on, and I needed to stop letting my past control my future. My parents had taught me that if I wanted something badly enough, I had to get off my ass and go get it. That's what I had to do with Bella. I needed to step up and be the man she deserved-the man my parents raised me to be.

My thoughts went back to the way she'd looked at me earlier, when she'd taken Ethan to bed and I thought about the conversation we'd had out on the porch, after she'd woken up. I knew she was into me, she'd told me so, and I knew the chemistry was there-fuck, we didn't have to worry about that, we had that shit in spades. Hell, we'd already shared some seriously amazing, earth-shattering kisses. Now all I needed to do was find away around all this crap and take what was mine.

"Jake?" Bella's soft and beautiful voice said worriedly, startling me back to reality. Spinning around, my breath was caught in my throat and my entire world stopped. There she was, my stunning Bells dressed in a pair of my light grey sweats and an old Green Day t-shirt that basically swamped her petite figure. She looked fucking flawless. The perfect mix of sweet and sexy. And damn if seeing her in my clothes didn't make me want to beat on my chest like some fucking caveman and roar, "Me, Jake. Bella, mine!" Blushing under my perusal, she gave me a timid smile and wrung her hands together apprehensively. "Sorry, I didn't have anything else to wear...is this okay?" She asked, chewing on lower lip.

I couldn't speak. My mind had gone completely blank and I was pretty sure I'd swallowed my tongue. Not being able to even blink, let alone form a coherent sentence, I remained silent and continued to gawk at the breathtaking vision before me.

"Jake?" Bella asked again, breaking me out of my trance and moving closer. "What's wrong?"

The concern in her voice shredded me. I didn't want her worried or scared; I wanted her smiling and happy. Finally able to move, I cleared my throat, shook my head and turned and braced the heel of my palms on the edge of the breakfast bar. "Nothing, don't worry."

"Hey," she said quickly and softly, running a soothing hand up and down my arm. "Don't do that, okay? Don't shut me out. I thought we got past this?"

Expelling an exhausted breath, I turned to look at her. The distressed lines that marred her forehead had my heart breaking. Reaching out, I curled a hand around her waist and pulled her into me. "We did," I whispered assuringly, resting my forehead on hers and closing my eyes. This was what I wanted-what I needed. This right here, being in her arms and surrounded by her warmth was my home. "I'm trying not to let my past fuck up my present and future."

Peering up at me with those piercing brown eyes, she cupped my neck with her hands and pulled me closer. "Honey, there's no way your past could ever mess up your present and future, unless you let it."

I wanted to believe that, I really fucking did, but something inside me was dead set against it. "How do I stop feeling this way, Bells?"

Stroking her thumb over my skin, she asked softly, "Feeling like what, baby?" God, I loved it when she called me that. Hell, I loved it when she called me anything, as long as she was speaking to me.

"Trapped, scared," I answered. Even just speaking those two words, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. "I feel like I'm stuck in some kinda whacked out time warp. I can't move forward with you because I'm still haunted by the shit in my past."

"With your ex?" Bella questioned, quietly.

Nodding, my hands found hers and I threaded out fingers together. "I wanna tell you so badly, Bells," I admitted, "I need to get this off my chest. But I'm so fucking scared."

"Scared of what, Jake?" Her voice was calm and gentle, and like some kind of balm to my soul.

Releasing her hands, I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face in her neck, too scared to look into her eyes. "Losing you," I mumbled.

Pulling back a little, she placed the side of her forefinger under my chin, guiding my eyes to hers. "Baby, you could never, ever lose me."

"You don't know that," I replied, solemnly.

"Yes, I do," she shot back with conviction.

Gazing into her eyes, I asked helplessly, "How?"

Quickly averting her eyes to the floor, her tongue darted out and licked her lips-making me want to kiss her so fucking badly-, and she gulped hard. "Because I'm crazy about you." Her voice was quiet and nervous, and her admission hit me like an out of control freight train.

Darting back, shocked, I looked directly into her eyes pleadingly; scared to hope that the possibility of what I'd been fantasizing about could become a reality. "What?" My heart was beating so fucking hard in my chest, I thought it was gonna break through my rib cage. She was crazy about me? Holy shit.

BPOV

"Come here," I said, leading him toward the couch and placing my hands on his shoulders, gently pushing him down until he was seated on the cushion. I was so freaking nervous I could barely think straight. I'd never done anything like this before, so telling Jake how I felt was a huge step for me. Taking a deep breath, I began, "I don't do this, Jake. I've never been this upfront about my feelings before. And that may have something to do with the fact that I've never felt this way before," I confessed in a nervous chuckle. "I'm terrified, Jake. Because what if you don't feel the same way? What if I'm reading all of this wrong? Then I'm going to look like an absolute fool. But strangely, I don't care. I'm doing this; I'm taking a leap into the darkness because if I don't, I'm scared I never will. The intensity of what I feel for you has me petrified; I didn't even have this with my ex. What I thought I felt for him pales in comparison to what I know I feel for you," I paused to gather my thoughts, my voice faltered more with every word and unshed tears stung the backs of my eyes.

Anxiously I glanced up at him through my lashes and a weak smile spread across my face. I could see the torment in his eyes; I knew how much it was killing him and I knew that he wanted to take my pain away, but he couldn't. This was something I just had to do by myself. "It might seem crazy and fast, but I know what I feel is real. And I know that since I met you and Ethan, Jaymie and I have been the happiest we've ever been. I'm not saying it's love...I've never been in love to know what that feels like, but this thing we have going on between us is worth exploring, don't you think? I still want to be your friend, Jake, and I'll always be someone you can turn to, but I also want to be so much more than that. I want to be with you-your girl, and I don't think I can lie to myself anymore by not telling you that." God, I was shaking so badly and my heart was beating so fast I thought I was about to have a panic attack. What if I'd misread everything? What if he wasn't into me?

"Bells-" he started to say, but I quickly interjected.

Holding up my hand in protest, I shook my head vehemently. "Please, Jake, let me get this out." I stopped to run a hand through my hair and took another deep breath. At this rate, I was going to suck all the oxygen from the damn room. Taking his hand with mine, my fingers affectionately circled his knuckles, causing him to close his eyes contentedly and intertwine our fingers. I loved the way he reacted to my touch-as if feeling our skin-on-skin contact soothed his soul. It definitely soothed mine. With a smile hinting at the corners of my mouth, my head fell back onto the back of the couch and I expelled an exhausted breath and looked toward the ceiling. "Look, I have no clue if what I'm saying is freaking you out or if I'm completely off target with my feelings, but I need you to tell me now if you don-"

Before I could even blink, Jake was on me, grabbing the back of the my neck and crushing his lips to mine in a mind-numbing, toe-curling kiss that left me reeling. It was so intense that I nearly came apart. I'd never, in all my life, been kissed like this before. I felt as if he'd crawled inside of me and stolen the air from my lungs. His gentle yet rough touch set my flesh ablaze. His deliciously hot mouth was fierce and determined on mine, and his fingers bit possessively into my skin. Kissing me harder, his free hand found its way into my tangled hair and fisted the loose strands. A strangled sound broke from my lips as his mouth continued to move perfectly with mine, and my hands came up around his neck, my fingers twining into his hair.

Breaking our kiss, Jake pulled back panting heavily, trying hard to catch his breath and rested his forehead against mine before whispering in a croaky voice, "Does that tell you how I feel?"

I sat there stock still for a moment, unable to comprehend what had just happened. I was dazed, overwhelmed. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I replied, "It gives me some idea." My eyes instantly drifted to his red and swollen lips. God, his mouth was so close. I wanted more.

Arching an amused brow, his lust-hooded eyes darted back and forth between mine and my lips before licking his own and responding, "Some, huh? Clearly, I need to try harder."

Inching closer, I fixed my darkened gaze onto the lips that were seconds previously intimately caressing mine and whispered sensually, "Practice makes perfect."

Groaning, Jake clenched his eyes shut and gulped thickly. "You're killing me."

I mirrored his actions and lovingly nuzzled my nose against his, murmuring, "Sorry. I can't help it. It's the effect you have on me."

Lowering his hand from my neck to my cheek, he cupped me gently and stroked the side of my face with his thumb. "Don't ever think I'm not into you, Bells, you got me?" He traced that same thumb over my lips. "There's nothing I want more than to kiss these beautiful lips."

Leaning into his touch, I asked boldly, "Then why'd you stop?"

"'Cause if I hadn't, we'd be doing a lot more than talking right now and as much as I want that with you, I can't start something with you until you know everything."

"So, tell me," I urged, with pleading eyes.

Shaking his head and furiously working his jaw, he answered vehemently, "I can't. Not yet. I need more time."

"More time for what?"

"To be with you," he said in a quiet and vulnerable voice, while tucking a wanton strand of hair behind my ear. "I just found you, Bells. I can't lose you."

Seriously? What the hell was with this losing me crap? I'd already told him that he wouldn't ever lose me and he was still insisting he would? Screw that. Moving closer until I was practically sitting in his lap, I cupped his cheek and pried his face toward me. Once his sorrowful eyes found mine, I told him in a strong and sure voice, "You are not going to lose me, Jake."

Turning away from me, he leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "You don't know that."

Okay. Enough with the self-deprecating shit. I couldn't stand to see him torture himself like this. Standing up, I stood opposite him and lowered to my knees and crawled between his legs. Replacing his hands with mine, I framed his devastatingly handsome face and looked directly into his pained eyes and said more forcefully, "Yes. I. Do." Taking his chin between my forefinger and thumb, I continued, "Don't do that. Don't doubt the strength of my feelings for you. Don't doubt me. I told you you'd never lose me and I meant it. You need to stop doing this to yourself. You have to stop pressing the self-destruct button, babe. You deserve to be happy, Jake Black, and I need to know that you understand that?"

Nodding solemnly he said in an unconvinced voice, "Yeah, I guess so."

Leaning toward him, I placed a kiss on his forehead and nose. "I know you still don't believe me, but I'm gonna make it my number one priority to show you that you are capable of feeling love and joy; you just need to let me in, okay? Promise me you'll try and let me in?"

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me closer and buried his face in my neck. "Yeah, I promise."

Smiling contentedly, I relaxed my head on his shoulder. "That's all I can ask."

Lifting me into his arms, Jake set me down on his lap and held me to him. His arms cradled me as if I were the most precious thing in the word to him and he couldn't bare to let me go. Holding me tightly, he breathed into my ear, "Thank you."

I pulled back for a brief moment to ask, "For what, sweetheart?"

Brushing a hair away for my face with his fingertips, he added in a voice that was full of hope, "For believing in me."

The sides of my lips tugged up into a smile of wonderment and I dipped down to place a tender kiss on his lips. "You don't ever have to thank me, baby. I'll always be by your side, cheering you on with my pom poms."

A gravelly chuckle rumbled through his body as desire darkened his eyes and hardened the bulge in his jeans. Caressing the skin on my lower back he rasped, "You gonna be my own personal cheerleader?"

My eyes practically rolled into my head as I felt the throbbing length of his arousal jerk against my clothed sex. Heat surged through my body and desire for this beautiful man coursed through me like wildfire. Running my hands through his thick black hair, I dipped down and breathed in his ear, "I'd be anything you asked me to be."

Looking at me with wild, smoky eyes, Jake curved a possessive hand around my neck and in a scratchy voice he asked, "Yeah? What if I asked you to be mine?"

Smiling against his touch, I fisted his shirt, bringing him closer. "Honey, I've been yours since the moment we met."

In the minutes that passed, we sat enveloped in each other's arms just listening to the other breathe. It was perfect. It was us. And in that moment, us was all I needed.

Not much longer until we find out why Jake is so hesitant to move forward with Bella!

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