A/N: Mad love to my superb beta: plainejanedee for all her unwavering support, countless hours in gchat and the crazy times we've spent plotting and brainstorming.

11. Flashlight

When tomorrow comes, I'll be on my own,

Feeling frightened of, the things that I don't know,

When tomorrow comes, tomorrow comes,

Tomorrow comes,

And though the road is long,

I look up to the sky, and in the dark I've found,

I stop and I won't fly,

And I sing along, I sing along, then I sing along,

I got all I need when I got you,

And I look around and I see sweet life,

I'm stuck in the dark, but you're my flashlight

You're getting me, getting me through the night,

Can't stop my heart when you're shining in my eyes,

Can't lie, it's a sweet life,

I'm stuck in the dark, but you're my flashlight,

You're getting me, getting me through the night,

'Cause you're my flashlight,

You're my flashlight, you're my flashlight,

I see the shadows long beneath the mountain top,

And I'm not afraid, when the rain won't stop,

'Cause you light the way,

You light the way, you light the way,

I got all I need when I got you,

And I look around and I see sweet life,

I'm stuck in the dark, but you're my flashlight

You're getting me, getting me through the night,

Can't stop my heart when you're shining in my eyes,

Can't lie, it's a sweet life,

I'm stuck in the dark, but you're my flashlight,

You're getting me, getting me through the night,

'Cause you're my flashlight,

You're my flashlight, you're my flashlight,

Flashlight ~ Jessie J

BPOV

One Week Later

"You like that, little guy?" I cooed to Ethan as I bathed him in Jake's en-suite bathroom. "Are we gonna be all nice and clean for when your daddy gets home?" Ever since Jake started work at the construction site, this had become our little routine. Whenever I'd finish work, I'd pick Ethan up from Jake's sister (who, by the way, is an absolute doll), and we'd head to his place, eat, bathe and play for a little while, until Jake came home.

Eagerly, Ethan splashed the water with his arms and kicked the edge of the tub with his legs in response, while gazing up at me with those big brown eyes. "The water warm enough for you, buddy?" I asked in a gentle voice as I washed his arms and stomach.

"A guy could get used this," Jake's deep and throaty voice came from the doorway, scaring the shit out of me.

Startled, I jumped a little, closed my eyes and braced my hands on the side of the bath. "Jeez, Jake. A little warning would be good when I'm bathing your son."

Chuckling in amusement, he casually strolled into the bathroom and knelt down behind me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he leaned in and kissed my shoulder. "Sorry, beautiful, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up," his nose skimmed up the slope of my neck. "You're a natural with him, y'know." His arms tightened around me and I couldn't help but relax into his touch. Keeping my eyes on Ethan playing happily in his tub, I rested my head on Jake's shoulder and released a contented sigh.

Lifting his hand to cup my cheek, he tenderly guided my face toward his. "Missed you today." He'd said the exact same words to me every night since he started work. "Missed you like fucking crazy."

A contented smile blossomed across my face, and I burrowed my head in his neck. "Missed you, too."

A brief, comfortable moment of silence passed between us as Jake held me close and brushed a chaste but lingering kiss on my temple. God, I felt that kiss down to my toes. So tender, so gentle, so perfect. I loved moments like this, when it felt as if we were an actual couple. It was times like this that made me want to keep us wrapped in this serene little bubble, where the outside world ceased to exist, and be enveloped in his warmth for the rest of my life.

Over the past week, we'd fallen into this family-type relationship, and while I enjoyed every moment of being with Jake and Ethan, I couldn't help but feel like we'd skipped a pretty vital step. There'd been no romance, no wooing, no courtship-no nothing. We'd been on one date, and that was initiated by me, and it had ended badly. Don't get me wrong, I knew that he'd just started working again after moving here, and his main priority was caring for his son-as it should be-but I was dying for him to come home one evening, take me in his arms and whisk me off on some romantic night out. I wanted him to sweep me off my feet, maybe have a little one-on-one, adults-only time every once in awhile. You know, a little wine and dine, maybe some dancing. I loved what we were building, and I loved the way we were so in sync and at ease around one another, but I wanted more, something that was romantic, flirtatious and exciting, in a way only new relationships are. It might sound stupid, but I wanted to feel those butterflies again, the ones he gave me the day we met. He didn't seem to notice that we were already sliding into a rut, but I needed him to, God, did I need him to. Granted, it had only been a week, but still. We're so new, and yet, we were settling into a family routine already.

After a minute of lying in his arms, I unwillingly withdrew from the comforting heat of his neck. As I moved, my stomach made a loud grumbling noise and I quickly covered it with my hand. Embarrassment flamed at my cheeks. Way to ruin the moment.

"Hungry?" He asked in a raspy chuckle, nuzzling his nose against my temple and sensually ghosting his lips over the skin next to my ear. A sliver of desire flew threw my veins, leaving a burning trail in its wake. I felt parts of my body waking that had been dormant far too long.

Biting my lip, I nodded and replied, "Starving. I was so busy at work today, I barely had time to breathe, let alone eat." Grabbing the bathtub for leverage, I climbed to my feet and pulled him up with me. Ethan's wide eyes looked up at us in fascination and he beamed in delight as he fisted the water. I chuckled inwardly, crazy little nut.

Jake's hands gripped my waist, pulling me flush against him. "I don't like you not eating, Bells. You run your ass off for those people, you need a break," he pressed his lips to my hairline, but didn't kiss me. "Promise me from now on you'll find time to eat. I don't want you wasting away."

Smiling into his chest at his protectiveness, I nodded again. "I promise."

"Good," this time he did plant a kiss on my skin, and rubbed his hands over my arms. "There's some Chinese takeout menus in the kitchen, have a look through them while I'm seeing to Ethan and I'll place the order when I'm done." He leaned in and took my mouth in a soft and lazy kiss, before pulling back and brushing a wild strand of hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. "Choose whatever you want," he instructed, cautiously lifting his son from the bath and wrapping his small body in his hooded towel.

What I wanted was his love, but I wasn't sure if that was on the menu.

~UH~

A little later, after the Chinese had been delivered and devoured, we sat curled up together on his couch. Impractical Jokers played quietly in the background as Jake ran a tender hand through my hair and rubbed my shoulders. For the past half an hour, he had been telling me about his week working at the construction site. So far he'd been painting, tried his hand at plumbing and carpentry (with supervision, of course), and done a little brickwork; he seemed to be loving it, and I couldn't have been happier or prouder.

"You sound happy," I whispered through a smile, as I rested my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes.

"Got a lot to be happy about," he replied in a husky timbre, tracing his free hand up and down my lower arm, creating an outbreak of goosebumps.

Stroking his shirt-clad abdomen, I peered up at him through my lashes, my gaze alternating between his eyes and delectable, succulent lips. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Shaking his head in disagreement, he half chuckled, half smiled; his eyes were fixed on my thighs. "Nah, Baby, not amazing. Lucky? Hell yes, but amazing? No."

Confusion marred my forehead, "Lucky?"

"Yeah, lucky." He reached down and brought my legs up and onto his lap. Gently, he began to massage my foot, applying ample pressure to the heel and slowly edging along the centre until he reached the arch. An audible groan of appreciation tumbled from my lips. God, that felt good. "Bells, I don't think you know exactly what you've done for me-for us. You've opened up a whole new life for me and Ethan. I came to Seattle with no job, just enough money to keep us afloat and a house that was pretty much a shell. Then you walked into my life, all beautiful and sexy. Suddenly, there I was, having coffee and eating sushi with the most perfect, smart, funny and amazing woman I'd ever laid eyes on." He released my foot and raked a hand through his short hair. "Shit, Bells, I wouldn't even have this gig if it weren't for you. Spending time with you these past few weeks, having you here with us this week, it has really been incredible, and you're so great with Ethan. I really appreciate everything you've been doing for us and I can't imagine you not being in our lives. I don't even want to imagine it."

"Jake," I breathed, unable to speak. This man, he just kept flooring me.

Moving his hands to my face, he held my chin between his thumb and forefinger, and looked deep into my eyes. The expression on his face was one of complete awe. "You think I'm amazing? Fuck, baby, all you have to do is look in the mirror. You're the amazing one."

I reached up and covered his hands with mine, lightly caressing his knuckles. "Well, you're amazing to me."

"Then that's all that matters." His topaz eyes bored into mine with an intensity that shook my entire body and stole the air from my lungs. We may be missing out on giddy excitement and butterflies, but there was a fiery passion smouldering between us whenever we touched; heck, we didn't even need to touch. As he looked into my eyes, and the side of his calloused finger ghosted across my cheek, I could feel it growing; it was almost tangible. Unquenchable desire, reverent hunger, and explosive, erotic need.

"God, you're so beautiful," Jake rasped, inching toward me in a lazy yet unsure manner; white-hot fire ablaze in his liquid-bronze eyes.

Harsh breaths caught in my throat, and my heart drummed wildly against my rib cage. I was desperate for his touch, and I ached for his kiss. Nothing else mattered in that moment, the world fell away and all I could see was him.

"You make me feel beautiful," I whispered in response.

Curling his fingers around the nape of my neck, a pained expression spread across his face and an agonised groan broke free from his mouth. "Fuck, baby."

Taking my mouth with his in a fierce and urgent kiss, Jake pulled my body closer to his. A loud, guttural groan sounded from within him as my lips parted allowing him unguarded access. Passionately, our tongues fought and duelled with each other for control, neither of us willing to surrender. Needing to touch him, my hands flew into his hair and my fingers entangled his short strands and tugged, hard.

"Goddamn," he grunted.

Our breaths quickened as we kissed each other savagely. Nipping at my lips, he lowered his hands to my hips and gripped me, his fingertips digging into my skin. A delicious combination of pleasure and pain shot through me and I jerked into him. "Jake..." I breathed as he rained kisses down my neck, his hands descending further, palming the sides of my thighs through my shorts.

"You drive me fucking crazy, Bells," he growled, kissing along my collarbone, sending shivers throughout my body.

Effortlessly, he lifted me into his arms and laid me down on the couch. Caging me between the muscular hardness of his body and the softness of the cushions, I moaned audibly as I felt him nudge my legs apart with his hands and settle between my thighs. My senses were clouded with desire. Jake reclaimed my mouth in a greedy kiss, and it was then that I felt the bulge in his jeans. Oh my. With a mind of their own, my hands slid down his back, fisting his shirt, urging him close. Once again, he moved his lips to my neck and travelled them up toward my ear. Drawing my lobe between his teeth, he bit down lightly. Instinctively, I arched my back into him, pressing my hips into his erection. He was licking my ear when a gravelly "Ahhh," tumbled from his lips, exciting me further. I loved knowing I could elicit such sensual and erotic sounds from him.

"Baby," he moaned as he grasped my hips and rubbed himself against me.

"Jake..." I moaned into his ear, my teeth nibbling on his tender flesh as we rocked together, perfectly in sync; his touch setting my body on fire.

Panting, I dropped my mouth to his neck, my tongue lapped against the column of his throat and my pulse thrummed rapidly against my skin as I heard laboured, heavy breaths leave his parted lips. God, seeing him like this-nothing compared. Hands down, easily the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.

"God… Bella, fuck," Jake murmured into my neck, moving faster and more demandingly now. As he pressed himself into me, I could feel myself get wetter; the overwhelming longing to feel him rocking and moving inside of me was making me crazy with lust. I wanted to feel his thickness ease in and out of my heat. I wanted to hear him moan and call my name as we made love, and I wanted to see the look of pure, unadulterated pleasure on his face as he came, filling me with his seed. Oh god, I needed him so badly. It was all I could think about. I needed him. Right now.

Then, right on cue, Ethan's loud cries sounded from the baby monitor on Jake's coffee table.

A tortured groan ripped from Jake's throat, and he burrowed his head in the crook of my neck. "No, no, no," he whined. "Fuck… not now."

Chuckling hoarsely, I delicately wove my fingers through his hair and brushed several damp strands away from his perspiring forehead. "C'mon, Jake, your son needs you."

Breathing heavily against my trembling skin, his arms held me close, cradling me against his body as his lips touched my shoulder. "I love my kid, but fuck... his timing sucks."

Chuckling again, I pressed a kiss to his head, pushed his shoulders away from me and rolled out from under him. Grabbing his hand, I hauled him up with me. "Go see to your son and I'll tidy this up." I motioned to the empty takeout containers on the table.

A pained look formed in his chocolate brown eyes, as his jaw clenched tensely. Brushing his lips across mine in a feather-light kiss, he whispered, "I'll be right back."

Cursing in frustration under his breath, he turned on his heel and made his way down the hall to his son. As I watched him go, the happy excited feeling I had floating around my stomach quickly went sour.

Oh god...

~UH~

Stupid! So freaking stupid! I mentally chastised myself as I took a hearty gulp of water from my glass and braced the heel of my palm on the cool, stainless steel kitchen sink. How could I have let it go that far? Allow myself to drown so deep into his kiss that I was ready to have sex with him on his fucking couch! God, I was such a hypocrite! Not two hours ago, I'd been wanting him to date and romance me before we took that step, and yet there we were, making out on the sofa, dry humping like a pair of horny teenagers!

Oh god. Oh fuck. Oh god. Panic began to set in and my hands started to shake as I placed my glass on the marble countertop; my head was spinning and my fingers clutched the lip of the surface in a death grip. Get a grip, Bella.

What would happen next? Did he expect to just come back out and we'd fuck now? Would he think I wanted some kind of weird friends with benefits thing? Oh hell, maybe he'd think I was an easy lay. Is this what our relationship was going to be - me taking care of his kid, his needs and then I just go home?

I can't do this. I need some space. I need to clear my head. I decided the best thing was just to get my things and go home. I needed to think about this. Maybe all this friendship stuff had changed his expectations as to what kind of relationship he wanted with me.

Yes, I wanted to be his friend, but I wanted much more than that, too. I wasn't looking for casual sex. I wanted loyalty, trust, meaning. I wasn't the kind of girl to have one night stands, or meaningless booty calls, so if that's the kind of thing Jake was looking for, he had the wrong girl. When I was with someone, it was because it meant something to me, not because it was convenient. Some people can have sex without getting attached, but I couldn't. Besides, I was already attached to Jake and Ethan.

Sighing heavily, I threw the remnants of my water in the sink, placed the glass in the dishwasher and went to gather my purse and jacket. Maybe I could leave before he came out of Ethan's room. No, don't be a coward, Bella, he deserves more than that.

Standing at the table, fishing my keys out of my purse, I shook my head, disappointed in myself. I may not know everything about Jake, but I knew he wasn't a playboy. Women looked at him all the time, he could sleep around if he wanted to, but I had never seen him do anything to make me think he would be just using me for sex. Logically, I knew that, but that didn't stop my mind from twisting innocent shit around and turning it into poison.

Groaning, I grabbed my purse and slung the strap over my shoulder. This wasn't getting me anywhere. I was swinging back and forth through too many emotions, too quickly. I had to get out of here and get some perspective… before I did or said something really stupid.

JPOV

Stepping around the corner and out of view, I quickly adjusted the hard-on tenting in my sweats and groaned in relief. Never in all my fucking life had I been so turned on, this girl was going to be the end of me.

Heading into Ethan's room, I mumbled, "Great timing, buddy. You trying to kill your old man, or what?" Lifting him out of the crib, I brought him into my chest, "What's got you all fired up, little man?" Then the smell hit me…holy fuck. "Jesus, dude, you dropped a bomb in there or what?" I chuckled, patting the top of his diaper through his onesie. Laying him on the changing table, I held him there with one hand and grabbed the wipes with the other. After he was all cleaned up, I placed him back in his crib, and began rubbing his back, waiting for him to fall back asleep.

As I stood there, leaning over my son, my mind wandered back to Bella and how I'd felt when I walked in on her bathing Ethan. There were no words. No words to describe how my heart fucking soared seeing her care for my son. I loved how easily she'd fit herself into our lives; everything about being with her was easy-natural. All week long, she had been here with us in the evenings, and I'd never been so stoked to come home as I was knowing she would be here with my boy. And when she'd leave? Fuck, I hated it. I wanted to beg her, get down on my knees and plead with her to stay, but I wasn't really sure where we were supposed to go from here.

Hell, I knew where I wanted us to go, but I didn't have a fucking clue how to get us there. Having her in my home, taking care of my son, her in the kitchen making dinner, us eating together and watching tv afterwards… it's been the best week of my life. I felt like we were becoming a family, as fucking sappy as that sounded, but goddamn, I liked it.

I knew it was too soon, too new, to even think about her living here permanently, but fuck, the idea was there and holy hell, was it nice. The mere thought of us going to bed together, making love until we both passed out in post-orgasmic bliss, and then waking up slowly with her beautiful body wrapped up inside my arms? Christ, it was almost too much. I wanted to bring her coffee in the morning and bring her breakfast in bed. I wanted to see that soft, euphoric look on her face, and her hair all wild from our lovemaking and sleep. Hell, these thoughts were doing nothing to help my aching cock.

And fuck, that episode on the sofa before Ethan woke up? Shit, I could pop a boner just thinking about it. Bella was so beautiful, and when she was writhing under me, moaning and calling my name, fuck, I was half tempted to rip her clothes off and bury myself so deep inside of her she wouldn't know where she ended and I began.

When she looked up at me with those breath-taking brown eyes, glittering and burning with desire, I thought my cock was going to fucking explode. Closing my eyes, my thoughts drifted back to her pulling me down to her body, her hips pushing up against me, I groaned internally. I looked at Ethan, and he was sleeping peacefully. I covered him and turned off the light.

Needing to feel her again, I strode out of my kid's room and down the hall with purpose. The only thing on my mind was getting that gorgeous brunette back into my arms. However, as I made my way around the corner, my heart dropped to my stomach. She had her keys in her hand and her purse on her shoulder. "You're leaving?" Fuck, no, she couldn't leave! I wanted her here, in my home, in my arms and in my bed. I hated every night I spent without her, but it was so much worse tonight. I needed to hold her against me all night, even if that's the only thing we did, I just needed her to be here, to be with me.

Her doe-eyes fell to the floor and she wrung her fingers together nervously. "Yeah, I should go. It's getting late, and I've got papers I need to grade and a crap-ton of laundry to wash and sort." Why did it feel like she wasn't telling the whole truth?

Anxiety rose within me, so powerful it almost knocked me on my ass. She couldn't go... fuck, I had to do something! Without thought, I reached out and slid my hands around her petite waist. Pulling her into me, I cupped her cheek and whispered, "Stay, baby, please? I've missed you in my bed."

Instantly, she stiffened within my embrace. "You've missed me in your bed," she uttered in a quiet and almost resigned voice. "Awesome," jerking away from me, she pulled her jacket tighter around herself and took several steps back. Glancing up at me with tears clouding her eyes, she hissed, "Sorry, Jake, I still have my own life to take care of, too. I can't meet your bedroom needs tonight, so I guess you'll have to take care of those by yourself!"

I stood there, panicked, completely shocked and confused, as I tried to grasp what had changed between us so drastically while I'd been out of the room. I could see how pained and upset she was, and fuck if that didn't gut me.

She had made her way toward the door. She grasped the door handle, turned it and before opening it, she looked over her shoulder at me. The hurt and pain swimming in her eyes damn near brought me to my knees.

"Goodnight, Jake." She said before heading out the door.

I had been frozen in my panic, too stunned to do anything, but as she opened the door, I finally started to move towards her, to speak, "Bells! Wai-" the door closed in my face and my forehead collided with the wood, "No! Baby, don't leave!"

Fuck! What the fuck just happened?

I struggled to get the door open, calling out to her, and stumbling out to the porch. By the time I made it out to the driveway, she had peeled out of the driveway, and her car was halfway down the block. I sank to my knees on the hard asphalt of the road and raked my hands through my hair, tugging it hard.

What the fuck happened? What did I say? Why did she just leave like that? And the one that made me sick to my stomach... would she ever come back?