12. Stand By You (Part 1)

Hands, put your empty hands in mine,

And scars show me all the scars you hide,

And hey, if your wings are broken,

Please take mine so yours can open too,

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you,

Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes,

And hurt, I know your hurting, but so am I,

And love, if your wings are broken,

Borrow mine so yours can open too,

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you,

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through,

Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you,

Love, you're not alone,

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you,

Yeah you're all I never knew I needed,

And the heart, sometimes it's unclear why it's beating,

And love, if your wings are broken,

We can brave through those emotions too,

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you,

And oh, truth, I guess truth is what you believe in,

And faith, I think faith is having a reason,

And I know my love, if your wings are broken,

Borrow mine so yours can open too,

I'll be your eyes 'till yours can't shine,

And I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite,

Now when you can't rise, well, I'll cry with you on hands and knees,

'Cause I'm gonna stand by you.

Stand By You ~ Rachel Platten

JPOV

"Why are you here so early?" Becca asked in a yawn, making her way over to the coffee maker.

"Couldn't sleep," I replied in a tired, gruff tone, aimlessly pushing my Cheerios around the bowl.

I'd been up all fucking night, wracking my brains, trying to figure out where I'd gone wrong. I couldn't figure out what I'd done to hurt Bella and send her running for the hills. I missed her like fucking crazy, so to say it was driving me insane would be a goddamned understatement. I'd barely slept; whenever I'd closed my eyes, Bella's beautiful, pained face appeared, screwing with my mind, tearing me up inside and torturing the living hell out of my heart. And the thing that fucking killed me? I'd put it there. I didn't have the first clue what I'd done, but I did know that I needed to fix it.

Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she made her way over to the dining table and took a seat. Wrapping her hands around the steaming cup, she said warily, "Uh-oh, that doesn't sound too good."

Sighing, I dropped my spoon against the porcelain, scrubbed my hands over my face and sat back in the chair. "I screwed things up with Bella last night, and I don't have a fucking clue what I did wrong."

Rolling her eyes in exasperation, she placed her cup on the coaster and folded her arms over her chest. "Again? You seem to be screwing up with her a lot. What happened?"

I couldn't tell her about us kissing and all but mauling each other on my couch, it was too personal. But I knew she'd keep asking until she'd gotten her way, so I went for the PG option. "All week she's been there when I've come home from work, looking after Ethan; bathing him, feeding him, playing with him. Fuck, she's like a mom to him, and it's… it's fucking perfect. She's perfect. We cooked, watched movies, talked, and it's been… it's been more than I could've ever imagined. I felt like I was finally part of something, like I was finally worthy of happiness, then last night we almost took things to another level, and..." Shit, I didn't wanna think back to the way she'd looked at me. Goddamned gutted me. "She'd seemed into it, y'know? And the next thing I know, Ethan's crying, Bella's pissed at me and walking out my door."

Looking at me sketchily, she replied, "You must've done something, Jake. I've met Bella; I've seen first hand how much she likes you. She wouldn't have walked out on you for no reason. Did you say something?"

Shrugging cluelessly, I told her exactly what I told Bella, earning me a murderous glare from my sister. What the hell?

"You told her that you'd missed her in your bed? Shit, Jake, you're lucky she didn't slap you." I stared at her, stunned as fuck. What the hell was she talking about? "Think about it, bonehead, you've known each other what, three weeks? Have you actually taken her on a real date? You know, a romantic dinner, some wine, some one-on-one time where you focus on her and tell her how you feel about her?"

Realisation hit me like a sucker punch to the stomach. Groaning, I threw my head back and raked my hands through my hair. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'd hurt her and made her feel like I only wanted her to fulfil my sexual needs. Hell, she couldn't have been further from the truth. I wanted her, how could I not? But, I wanted her to stay the night, in my bed, so I could hold her and feel her heart beat with mine, making love to her would've been...fuck, it would've been an out-of-this-world added bonus-the icing on the cake.

Cocking her head to the side and throwing me a knowing look. "Thought as much. Asking her to stay the night because you've 'missed having her in your bed', after you've had her basically taking care of your son, your home and you all week, is like telling her to... well to take care of other things as well," she paused, cringing and motioning to my jeans, "Think about it, little brother, you need to show her, prove to her, that you're in this for more than sexual gratification."

"Like a date?" I offered slowly, ideas starting to form in my head.

Chuckling, my sister nodded and took another swig of her coffee. "Yes, Jake, like a date."

Narrowing my eyes at her, I growled and stood to put my bowl in the sink. "Glad you're finding this so funny."

"Oh, quit your whining, knucklehead," Becca retorted offhandedly, waving her hand at me dismissively. "If you'd done things the right way with Bella the first time around, we wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation. You just need to think with your head instead of your dick. If she means that much to you and you want her in your life, be a man and step up to the plate. Because I can tell you this right now, there aren't many women like her in the world, but you have her. Do something about it before it someone else does. Don't let her slip through your fingers."

My insides tightened and my jaw clenched at the thought of another man taking her out on dates… taking what was mine. Fuck, no.

Reaching across the table, Becca grabbed an apple and bit into it. "Leave Ethan here with us tonight. I can text Bella and let her know not to pick him up. You take that woman on a date; doesn't have to break the bank, just something that tells her you're in this for the long haul." Standing, she walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet. "You got this, Jakey, just don't mess up." I visibly rolled my eyes. Helpful. "Now, get your ass to work before they fire you for being late."

Damn stubborn, interfering sisters.

~UH~

BPOV

"God, I needed this." An appreciative sigh fell from my lips as I sipped on my steaming mug of coffee.

During my lunch hour, I'd received a text from my best friend demanding that I get my ass to Bakery Nouveau on California Avenue as soon as I'd finished work, and since Becca had called earlier this morning to let me know that I didn't need to collect Ethan tonight, I figured what the hell. So, here I was. Admittedly I was a little worried as to why I wasn't watching Ethan tonight, but I was hoping it wasn't because Jake no longer wanted to see me. Hell.

"You okay, girl?" Rhonda asked, a concerned expression marring her kind features. "You look a little... preoccupied."

Was I okay? Was I okay? Hmmm. Wasn't that the question. If I was being honest, I was so far from being okay that I'd need a map to get there. My body ached in places I had no idea it could ache, I'd hardly slept, barely ate and couldn't concentrate on my lessons to save my life.

I missed Jake so much, that it was becoming painful. He was everywhere. The coffee shop where I'd grabbed my caffeine hit, the father I'd seen pushing a stroller on my way to work, the young couple walking their child to school, the construction site on Lander street… I couldn't escape him, and I didn't want to.

All night, he had texted or called, begging and pleading with me to call him, reply to his messages, tell him what he'd done wrong… but I just couldn't. I was too ashamed. I'd hurt him and I knew it. My words had stung, hit a nerve and I desperately wanted to take them back, but I couldn't, they'd been said. I didn't want to have the image of his confused and pained face embedded on my brain every time I closed my eyes. I didn't need the taunting reminder, I was living it.

"Oh, she's all right," Mary piped up from the chair beside me. "She just needs to pull her head from her ass before she loses the best thing that's ever happened to her." Clearly I wasn't getting any sympathy from her-not that I deserved it, but still.

"Mary!" Rhonda admonished; her eyes wide and her body recoiling from the table in astonishment.

Expelling a shallow breath, I rolled my eyes and cut a slice of carrot cake before bringing it to my mouth and taking a bite. "Hey, Mare."

"Don't you 'hey, Mare' me, Swan," she snapped angrily, narrowing her eyes into slits. Oh shit, she was pissed. "Wanna tell me why I've had that man of yours blowing up my cell all friggin' day?"

My heart slammed painfully against my chest at the thought of Jake, and bewilderment creased at my forehead. "He's been calling you?" I couldn't deny the spark of hope that lit inside of me. He'd been calling her. That had to be good, right?

Rhonda sat opposite us, wine glass in hand and looking completely perplexed. "What guy?"

"What the hell did you do?" Mary asked brusquely, shooting me a lethal glare that would've put Medusa to shame. Jeez. Who's friend was she?

Shaking my head, I reached for my mug and took another sip. "Drop it, Mary; that's between me and Jake."

Sitting forward, she placed her elbows on the small round table and leaned in toward me. "Listen, I love you like a sister, Bella, but you two need to sort your shit out. Either you want to be together or you don't, but whatever you decide, you need to talk."

"You think I'm not trying?" I shot back in a retort, pinning her with my own glare.

"I think you're scared," Mary countered, sympathetically. "And I get it, I do. But if you two don't start communicating and facing facts, you're going to push each other away."

Expelling an exhausted breath, I ran my hands over my face and combed my fingers through my hair. "Yeah, I know."

"So," Mary hinted, impatiently tapping her fingers against her glass. "What're you going to do?"

The only thing I could do. I couldn't lose him; Jake and Ethan were everything to me and not having them in my life... it just wasn't an option. Besides, I had to fight for everything I wanted in my life, I wasn't about to stop now.

Bringing my cup to my lips, I gave her a knowing smile. "I'm going to fight."

~UH~

Pulling into my allotted parking space, I shut off the engine, took the key from the ignition and leaned my head back against the headrest, expelling a hard and heavy breath. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself a moment to just stop and take a minute. I was exhausted from where I hadn't slept, and emotionally drained from teaching a class of little monsters all day. Opening my eyes, I removed my seatbelt and gripped the steering wheel, mentally steeling myself for whatever battles I had waiting for me in order to fight for the man I loved. All I needed to do was figure out how to fight for him, and I had to do that quickly, before too much time passed and I lost my opportunity.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my Chinese take-out bag, climbed out and locked the car before heading up to my apartment. Letting myself in, I dropped my keys and purse on the side table and made my way into my kitchen, setting the bag of food down on the marble surface. Sliding off my jacket, I threw it over the breakfast bar and leaned against the counter, pulling my cell from my trouser pocket.

As I stared down at the device, several thoughts popped into my head. He had contacted Mary, so did that mean there was still a glimmer of hope? Was there a chance for us after all?

Christ's sake, just call the guy already! With a resolute sigh, I unlocked my cell and dialed Jake's number. While nervously biting my lip, I put the device to my ear and I waited for what felt like an eternity for him to pick up.

One ring. My heart hammered furiously against my rib cage.

Two rings. I tapped my fingers on the countertop, anxiously.

Three rings. I exhaled a drawn-out, ragged breath. Please answer, Jake.

As the fourth ring sounded in my ear, I felt my heart plummet in my chest. Was he ignoring my call? After all the times he'd called last night?

Voicemail. Sighing dejectedly, I straightened my spine. Dragging my fingers through my hair I began pacing the length of my kitchen. When the loud beep echoed in my ear, I took another deep breath and started my apology, "Hey, Jake, it's me… Bella. I just… well, I just wanted to call you and, uh, well, apologize. I… well, the way I acted last night… it was completely out of order, and I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. Anyway, I don't blame you if you're upset with me; heck, I'm upset with me, but… I just wanted you to know that I am truly sorry. I don't expect you to give me another chance, but it would mean the world to me if you coul-"

The sharp beeping sound signalling the end of the message cut through my speech. Goddammit! Glaring at the phone, I tossed it angrily onto my jacket and crossed the small space to grab a plate and glass from the overhead cupboard. Opening the takeout bag, I lifted the food containers out and grabbed a bottle of water from my fridge, before heading toward my living room.

Dropping onto my sofa, I propped my feet up on my coffee table and took a chicken satay skewer from its packaging, popping it into my mouth. An appreciative groan emanated from the back of my throat as the peanut-coated chicken lit up my taste buds.

This is what I needed, I thought as I took my remote and turned on the T.V. After one bite, I heard a knock on the door. Nearly choking on the now shredded chicken, I tossed the uneaten food back into the container, and grabbed a napkin, wiping my mouth.

Climbing to my feet, I quickly made my way toward the door, stopping for a brief moment to check myself in the mirror. Once ready, I opened the door and prepared myself to greet whomever was on the other side. However, as the hallway came into view, I noticed that I was completely alone, but as I glanced down, I saw a beautiful, long-stemmed, yellow rose with red tips lying on the floor with a note pinned to it.

With a smile curling at my lips, I knelt down to pick it up. Bringing the rose to the tip of my nose, I closed my eyes and let the calming, floral fragrance fill my senses. Turning back into my apartment, I shut the door behind me, I wandered back over to the sofa and dropped down onto it, whilst removing the note from the stem. As I unfolded the note, the smile hinting at my lips blossomed into euphoric grin as I read the message.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I acted like an ass

But can I have dinner with you?

I screwed up, Bells, on an epic level, and I need the chance to make things right. If you'll let me, I'd like to do what I should've done three weeks ago, and take you on a real date.

Meet me at Six Seven on Alaskan way at 7:30pm, and I promise, I'll make it worth your time.

Jake

Biting my lip, I fought hard to contain my smile, but after reading his note, I just couldn't hold it back. That had to be the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me, and knowing it came from him made it even sweeter.

Placing the note on my coffee table, I jumped up excitedly, grabbed my Chinese food and ran to toss it in the fridge. I was going on a dinner date!

~UH~

JPOV

Fucking suits, I thought as I yanked at my collar for what felt like the hundredth time in the space of ten minutes. I let out an annoyed growl before checking the clock.

7:25pm.

Christ. I still had five minutes and I was already a nervous fucking wreck.

"May I offer you a drink while you wait, sir?" My waiter asked as I sat at the bay view table I'd reserved earlier today, waiting anxiously. Becca had told me this was one of the most popular waterfront restaurants in Seattle, so I was fucking stoked when I'd managed to secure a table. Nervous as hell, but stoked all the same.

I'd messed up on an epic scale with Bella last night, and this date was my way of apologising. All I had to do now was pray that she actually showed. Gulping down the apprehension, I shook my head and replied, "I'm good, man. I'll wait for my date."

With a polite smile, he nodded and turned to tend to another table.

"You could've ordered something you know," a beautiful, feminine voice said from behind me, making my heart slam against my chest. She came.

Slowly, as if I'd been put under some kind of freaky voodoo spell, I stood and turned around. Everything around me fell away and all I saw was this breath-taking goddess standing before me. I couldn't hear anything except my own heartbeat. All I could do was gaze at her, drinking in her beauty like a man thirsting for water. She was wearing a navy blue, knee length dress with some sort of lace thing going over her shoulders, and her hair fell in loose curls over her shoulders and down her exposed back. But even though she looked absolutely mind-blowing, the most amazing thing about her, the thing that fucking floored me, was the look on her face. She was smiling at me. Me. And damned if the tenderness in her eyes didn't make me want to fall to my knees.

"Bells..." I breathed, stunned. Shaking my head, unable to believe how perfect she looked, I gulped hard and tried again. "You look... you're... wow." Smooth, Black, real smooth.

A shy expression washed over her face, and her gorgeous eyes lowered to the floor. I wanted to reach out and touch her but wasn't sure if I should. "Thank you; you don't look too bad yourself."

"Thank you and... uh... thanks for... uh... coming. I wasn't sure you would."

"Jake," she murmured, stepping forward and reaching out and saving me like the angel she was. The familiar touch of her hand sent surges of electricity into my system. It was like being brought back to life, instantly drawing my eyes to hers. God, she's so fucking beautiful. "Of course I would show up. If anything I'm the one who should be embarrassed for my behaviour last night. What I said and the way I acted... well, I was completely out of line." She stood before me looking vulnerable and lost, and goddamn if that didn't fucking gut me.

Fuck it. I couldn't not touch her. Placing my hands on top of hers, I stopped her. I wasn't about to let her take the blame for my fuck-up. "Christ, Bells, no, I'm the one who's sorry. So fucking sorry. I swear, I didn't mean it the way it came out, I just... well, I..." I grunted, frustrated with the inability to put my thoughts into words.

Sighing with frustration, I gave up and pulled her into my arms, holding her close, inhaling her luscious scent. "Please, sit down, I have a lot I need to say," I pleaded, leading her to the table, and pulling out her chair.

We both sat down and I looked up to find the waiter already headed our way. Good, I'm going to need a drink. I looked across the table at Bella and couldn't help but smile. I'd been thinking about what I was going to say to her all day, but I still hadn't figured it out. Suddenly, none of it mattered. I realized I just needed to man the fuck up and tell her how I really felt about her.

The waiter took our drink order and I decided now was my chance. "Bells, I messed up last night. I don't handle things well... and I'm not good at talking about what I'm feeling, but the way I made you feel... I never... fuck." My eyes fell to the table in shame as I searched for the words that I needed to make her understand. "Look, I screwed up. I'm man enough to admit that. But I never, for one second, wanted to hurt you. Hurting you... Christ, Bells, I'd rather lose a fucking limb. The way you make me feel... It's stronger than anything I've ever known. You get me, you know what I'm about, and it's fucking astounding, Bells, you're astounding. You're there, in my head, day and night, this beautiful, sexy, stubborn angel who continues to knock me on my ass. When I don't see you, I feel like I'm going out of my goddamned mind." I stopped to take a sip of my water and take a breather. This expressing yourself shit was harder than it looked, but I needed to do it. It was time to show my hand, lay my cards on the table. I couldn't risk her walking away, not again.

Just then, the waiter brought our drinks to our table and told us about the specials. Grinding my teeth together, I remained quiet but fought the urge to tell him to fuck the hell off. Like the saint that she was, Bella asked the guy to give us a minute, before looking back to me.

Once he left, I laced our fingers together and continued, "I'm not good at this, Bells. I'm not good at relationships... but I want to be... for you. I'm not perfect, I'll mess up, I'll say dumb shit, but that doesn't mean I... God. You're everything, okay? When you look at me or smile at me, I feel like a fucking king. You make me feel like that, no one else."

She didn't speak, just kept looking at me, so I took that as my cue to continue on, "I know we started this thing out as friends, Bells, but friendship is definitely not all I feel for you. I want more. I wanna touch you, kiss you, hold you, and... well, more, when the time is right. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to imagine my life without you. You make me feel alive in a way I never did before. All I ever want to do is make you happy. I want to be with you, and... I want you to be mine."

Taking a deep breath, I chanced a look into her captivating eyes and held on for dear life, praying I hadn't scared her off.

"Jake, you seem to be under this misguided illusion that if we got together I'd expect you to be something you're not. All I've ever wanted was you. I don't want perfection, I want the guy who, for some reason, supports the football team-who-shall-not-be-named. I want the guy who'll stay up with me until the early hours eating cake mix and watching Titanic. I want the guy who thought I looked sexy in his too-big sweat pants. I want the guy who works his ass off to provide for his child," she stopped for a moment, gazing longingly into my eyes. "I don't care about who you were or what you've done in your past, all I care about is the guy sitting across from me now. I want you, Jake, and everything that comes with you. No more misunderstandings, we need to get on the same page... can we do that?" My angel asked with a hopeful glint sparkling in her eyes.

Bringing her hand to my lips, I pressed a gentle kiss on her knuckles and nodded. "We can do that."

The rest of the evening flew by. After placing our orders, we talked, laughed, and flirted. She told me cute baby stories about Jaymie, about things that Mary liked to do in public to embarrass her, how they met and became friends. I told her about how my sisters tormented me as a child, often dressing me up in girls clothes and braiding my long hair with ribbons, parading me around like some kind of fucking pint-sized living baby doll through our neighbourhood, and then how I tormented them later by making sure our Dad caught them in embarrassing situations with their dates.

Several times throughout our meal, I'd stop eating and just gaze at her in pure amazement. She was perfect. So fucking perfect. As often as I could, I'd reach across the table and take her hand with mine; I couldn't help it, she was so beautiful, not touching her would've been a crime.

Eventually, she excused herself to go to the ladies room, and I waved at our waiter to get the check. I was more than ready to spend some time with her-alone.

~UH~

BPOV

"You are a cruel man, Mr. Black," I grumbled, pouting playfully whilst fighting my own laughter as we walked leisurely arm-in-arm up the steps to my apartment. After our meal, we'd taken a rather romantic moonlit walk along Bell Harbor Marina, stopping only to grab some coffee and hot cocoa from a street vendor.

"C'mon, Bells, it sounds pretty hilarious," Jake chuckled, twining his fingers with mine, while his thumb stroked softly against my finger. While his touch wasn't particularly intimate, it sent shivers of desire rippling over my entire body and left me tingling in places I had long since forgotten.

Gulping hard, I unhooked my arm from his and searched my purse for my keys, and at the same time, I fought to control the fire that was blazing to life deep inside. Once outside my door, I extended my now quivering hand toward the lock and slid the key inside. "Yeah? Well, tell that to my eleven-year-old self," I laughed nervously, fumbling to get the door open.

Coming up behind me, Jake settled a hand on my waist as his warmth and intoxicating scent cocooned me. "Did you at least get the guy?" His voice was an erotic murmur as his supple lips skimmed over my ear; his hot breath creating an outbreak of goose-pimples over my sensitive flesh.

A deep sigh fell from my lips as he leaned down and sensually brushed my hair to the side; the tip of his nose ghosting along my shoulder and toward the crook of my neck. My eyes fluttered to a soft close and without thought, my head lolled back until it rested on the delicious, athletic hardness of his shoulder. "N-No, the next day I saw him in school kissing Cindy Wentworth outside the girls bathroom."

Trailing the tips of his fingers up and down my arm, he brought his mouth to my jaw and whispered throatily, "The kid was an idiot."

Completely lost in everything about the moment, I began to mindlessly writhe against him, uncaring and unashamed at the fact that we were standing on my porch, more than likely giving my neighbours something to gossip about. All I cared about was the man holding me and the way he made me feel. "Jake…" I breathed, desperate for his touch and arching my body into his; the curve of my ass brushing against his very prominent arousal.

Groaning, he spun me around so we were face-to-face, his handsome features contorted into a pained expression as his breathing left his mouth in shallow pants. Eliminating the distance between us, Jake's large palms cradled my cheeks as the edge of his finger traced the outline of my lips. With heavy-lidded eyes, he ducked down until our mouths were barely a hair's breadth apart. "You're so beautiful, Bells."

Needing him more than my next breath, I bunched his shirt into my fists and urged him closer. "Jake…please."

Hovering his lips tormentingly above mine, Jake's hooded and smouldering gaze lowered to my mouth and he swallowed hard. "Can I kiss you, Bells?"

With my body almost collapsing in relief, I whimpered, "Please," needing so badly to feel his mouth move in perfect tandem with mine.

Running his thumb along the curve of my cheekbone, I couldn't help but nestle into his hand, feeling his warmth seep into mine and soothe me. Leaning in, Jake's lips parted slightly, his eyes flitting between mine and my lips as he brought his mouth slowly down until he rested on mine.

My entire body cried out with happiness as his soft, plump lips moved languidly with mine, not rushing our kiss, simply savouring this moment between us as if it were his last.

Another whimper escaped me as Jake pulled back far too soon for my liking, and rested his lips at my ear. "I should leave," his tone strained and reluctant, and his breathing was ragged as he ghosted his trembling hands down to my waist. "Send me home, Bells, because I don't think I can make myself walk away from you right now."

Looking up at him, I stood on my tiptoes and captured his mouth with mine, a chaste yet passionate kiss. Slipping my hand in his, I angled my body enough to open my door. Turning back to him, I pressed my lips against his but didn't kiss him. "Stay," I breathed, guiding him across the threshold to my apartment and watching with darkened eyes as he closed the door behind him, his eyes trained firmly on mine.