Clarke. Clarke. Clarke.

I woke up with the headache of the century. Goddamn Miller. He had fists the size of boulders and he hit like an avalanche.

I sprang to my feet—or tried.

I was tied to the bed. "MILLER!"

Octavia was the one that came in through the open door. "Wait, Bell! Wait!" Her face was white. "The storm's over. I'll get a knife and cut you free. No! Dammit! Stop struggling, you'll cut your wrists."

"Get me out of this," I thundered frantically. "I have to get to Clarke." If one fucking thing happened to her or the baby, there wasn't a soul on Earth who wouldn't feel my goddamn rage.

She sawed at the makeshift ropes. "We've organized a search party. They're already out looking for them."

"Why am I tied down?" I should be the one out there. That was my girl. My kid. "Why didn't anyone wake me?"

"Cool your jets," Raven snapped from the doorway. "We just sent them out twenty minutes ago, as soon as it got light."

She looked like a wreck. You'd think it was Finn all over again.

I didn't give a damn. "Don't bark at me, Reyes. What do you mean, light? How long was I out?"

"Losing your shit isn't going to help anyone. Listen. We've sent them out in parties of three, Miller and Monroe are leading the first two. They'll check back in, and then you can go out with them."

Screw that. I was going out now.

Raven and Octavia blocked my path. "Move," I growled. I was this close to tossing the mechanic out of the way. I'd be only slightly more gentle on Octavia.

My girl. My kid. They were out there. I had to find them. I was shaking with the need to go.

"You have to think!" Raven insisted. "Calm down. You're no good to either of them if you just run off into the woods."

"You have no fucking idea-"

"Yes I do!" she yelled back. "I know exactly what you're feeling. I was there. I'm there now. So listen!"

I quieted, turning on my heel so that I wouldn't do what I wanted and bowl her right over.

A hand grasped my arm. Octavia. "They'll be fine, Bell. Clarke is smart. So's Monty. They're going to come back before you know it."

I shook my head. She couldn't know that. Nobody could know that.

Small arms slipped around my waist and hugged me close. She hadn't done that in a long, long time. My heart ached, but I slung an arm over her shoulders and hugged her back.

I swallowed and turned back to Raven, more composed. "Alright," I said. "Tell me where they are on the map."

Which wouldn't do a shitload of good. How the hell did we not know that creek was there?

Thirty minutes later I was a friggin' basketcase, pacing the gate until I wore a path in ground. Almost everybody stayed the hell away from me, knowing they were just one comment away from getting the shit beat outta them.

The only exceptions to that rule were Octavia and Sam. The girl came up to me and silently handed me a bowl filled with soup. She didn't say anything, so I nodded my thanks and pretended not to see the sympathy in her face. She walked away without a word at all.

I traced my finger over the lip of the bowl, remembering the comb I'd given Clarke. Dammit, was it that long ago?

My heart thumped dully. What if she was dead?

I had no fucking clue how I'd get through that. How I could keep going one day after another and not talk to her. It was different from the despair I felt on the Ark. Octavia, my sister, was precious to me. Clarke...dammit, I didn't know how to say it, but she was Clarke and I had to have her with me to breathe right. To do more than go through the motions of living.

The sun was coming up. Night was burning away.

Where was she?

I paced even more, hanging onto the bowl like a talisman. There was a path forming in the dirt.

There weren't any memories, none of that montage shit they played in the movies I sometimes got to watch. I couldn't think of all the times Clarke smiled or yelled at me because I was too busy wondering if she was dead and hoping that she wasn't.

A harsh laugh escaped. Hope? What the hell was hope down here? Nothing.

"Bellamy!" someone yelled down from the watchtower. "I see movement!"

"Is it Clarke?" I barked back.

"It's Monty!"

I dropped the bowl and ran. "Open the gate!" I shouted. "Now!"

They pulled it open and I rushed through.

I came to a screeching halt when I saw Monty.

It was Monty. Just him.

And he was carrying something small in his arms.

No.

I couldn't move until he came right up to me. He was breathing hard. "Bellamy," he panted. "Thank god."

"Where's Clarke?" I demanded through cold lips. My eyes fell to the bundle in his arms. Clarke's jacket. Clarke's watch strapped to his wrist.

The jacket moved.

My heart thudded once.

"Here," he said, offering the bundle. "Meet Nova."

I tried to compute, but my brain wasn't working right. "Nova," I whispered. My arms came up of their own accord, and suddenly she was in them.

My daughter.

She was tiny. Light. She weighed next to nothing. My skin looked so dark compared to hers, my hands massive.

I stood there, staring down at her, not sure what to feel. What to do. She was here. Finally. But where was her mother? Where was Clarke?

Mind reeling, I lifted her to look in her face. She looked like a scrunched up little doll, a bit wrinkly and annoyed by life in general. She shifted and made a snuffling noise.

If Clarke wasn't here but Nova was...

I felt my knees go a little weak. Clarke.

"I left her down the hill. I couldn't drag her anymore."

My gaze snapped to Monty. "Clarke's alive?"

"Yeah, but she's in a lot of pain." He held up his hands. They were torn to shreds. "I made a travois. Peter showed me."

A travois. A kind of sled made out of tree branches lashed together.

Shock and relief held me immobile. I couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Clarke was alive.

Nova stirred, making a noise.

It took everything I had—every single fucking scrap of self discipline I owned—not to squeeze her to me.

The sound of running feet. "Bellamy?" Raven appeared at my elbow, looking from me to Monty. "Where's Clarke?"

I looked at her without anything really registering.

She saw Nova and she froze, paling. "Oh god."

Nova was moving around a lot more now, building up noise, hands opening and closing in the air.

Hungry. That realization crystallized in my mind in the middle of all the madness. Baby is hungry.

I snapped into action, spinning, cradling Nova to my chest, and shoved past the two of them without stopping to see if they were following.

When I strode through the gate, Octavia was standing on the other side, her mouth hanging open. Hell, we were gathering a fucking crowd.

"Is that..."

"Nova," I said."Your niece." The first. "Clarke's at the bottom of the hill. I have to go get her. Hold out your arms. Crook it. Good, support her head. Ready?" I carefully handed my daughter to my sister.

She couldn't seem to stop staring at the kid. "Wow." She looked up at me. "I won't let anything bad happen to her. I promise," she told me solemnly, voice hardening with determination.

"Keep her warm. Keep her as close to your skin as possible." I smoothed the edges of the coat back and looked at Nova. My daughter. I would never get enough of saying that. I bent and hastily kissed her little head, one hand on Octavia's shoulder. "Daddy's going to be right back, Nova. Gotta get your mother." I traced my finger over her baby cheek. "I love you."

Raven was right behind me when I turned and loped down the hill. I was in such a hurry that I didn't even grab a weapon.

My nerves were fried by the time we got to the bottom of the hill. I caught sight of blond hair in the early morning mist, standing out among the muted green.

I barreled down the last few feet, feeling desperate, my heart lurching into my throat when the rest of Clarke came into view. She looked like one of those Greek figures I saw in an ebook once. Still. Too still.

I knelt by her. Please be alive. "Clarke."

Her eyes cracked open. "Bellamy?"

I smiled, not caring about the damn tears blurring my vision. "Hey, Princess." I needed—God-I kissed her forehead over and over, smoothing her hair back. "Let's get you home."

"I love you." She closed her eyes.

"I love you too, okay? Just hang in there. You'll be nice and comfortable soon."

She didn't respond. Fuck. Almost a year ago I carried her on my back. Not this time. She'd just given birth, and I was going to have to trust everyone watching us from the camp to keep us safe.

Raven was already assessing the situation. "We both pull?"

"We both pull," I confirmed grimly, wiping my tears away. Who cared if she saw them?

"It'll be the smoothest ride ever." Raven had a way of sounding confident even when she was as white as a ghost. "She'll be okay."

"You're damn right she will." I couldn't tell you where that came from. I knew as well as anybody else that shit went down here faster than anyone could blink, but I now had Clarke in my sights. If anybody wanted to take her—death or the Grounders—they'd have to get through me first. "Let's go. I don't want to be out here longer than necessary."

I wanted us back in camp, in our house, with our daughter. No where else.

It was slow going. Clarke made these noises, terrible little whimpers that she cut off when she could. Raven blanched every time we got to a rough patch. No wonder Monty couldn't come any further. He'd hit the toughest part of the trail, full of rocks and roots.

When we finally, finally got back, Miller and Monroe, Sam and Baxter, and Octavia were waiting on us. Everyone looked worried. This wasn't like last time. This wasn't something we could fight. If anything went wrong with Clarke, we were helpless.

I hurried to our house. Octavia opened the door and then rushed to sweep off the top covers of the bed. In a few steps we were there and I was laying Clarke down gently on the furs. "We have to clean her up," I said. "Where's Nova?"

"There." Octavia pointed at the bassinet. My baby girl had been bathed and was wrapped up in one of the long shirts I sewed for her, Octavia's makeshift socks laying beside her. She was shifting restlessly, her mouth opening in a little yawn. Her feet kicked and her hands moved.

My eyes lit to her right hand. Four fingers.

My heart softened. "Come here, Nova." I picked her up, holding her to me and nuzzling her hand. She scrunched up her tiny nose. "It's okay. Daddy's got ya. We need to get this hands covered. Don't want you to scratch your face by accident." I kissed all her fingers. "Let's go see Mama while Aunt O gets some water."

Octavia didn't move. "You're really good at this," she whispered.

"Practice. Go. We need that water. Call up Dr. Griffin. She'll know what to do."

She blinked and turned to go. "Bell?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." She disappeared out the door.

I watched her leave with an odd feeling in my chest, but there wasn't time to dwell on it.

Clarke lay on the covers like a limp doll. God, I was glad she was back. I didn't care about anything else as long as she, Octavia, and now Nova were safe. I knelt next to the bed and leaned on it, keeping Nova secure. "Clarke," I called gently. I blew a stray lock out of my eye and waited a second before trying again. "Come on, Princess. Wake up."

She did, slowly. Painfully. She had shadows under her eyes and she looked a lot like death.

But alive.

Thank fuck.

"Monty," she croaked. "He didn't leave."

"He brought you to us."

"Last night. I tried to get him to go. To bring Nova to you." She swallowed. "I thought..."

"Don't say it."

"He was brave."

And I'd owe him for the rest of our lives, but right now, I wanted to get her better. "Tell me you're okay, Clarke, because I can't take this kind of shit again. I'm not strong enough for another day like today."

"I'm exhausted and I'm filthy, but I think I'm okay." She reached up a dirty hand and brushed the side of my face. "You were worried."

"I was out of my fucking head," I told her baldly. I turned my head into her palm and kissed it. "I could live without you," I confessed, "if living meant breathing and not choking on air. But I'd be broken. So don't go anywhere without me, Princess."

She sighed. "Why do you always tell me the craziest things when I'm flat on my back?"

I smiled, that tender glob in my chest warming. "Probably because that's the only time you don't give me attitude about it."

Nova squawked.

"Hey," I said, easing back. "What's the matter, baby girl? Are you hungry?" I nuzzled her head. She was so soft and new. My heart swelled. I'd go to the grave for this tiny creature. She had no idea what I'd do for her, and that was fine by me. "We're going to get Mama cleaned up, and then we'll see about this food thing."

"What do you think of her?" She tangled her finger in Nova's tiny hand.

"You know I'm not that guy, Princess. I don't have the words for it."

For some reason she found that funny.

To everyone who hung in there with this story, thanks. The final chapters will be up within a few hours.