Shepard was sitting in his office, staring at the data pad with the list of possible names. The Normandy's crew were all back on board and they were currently on their way to Feros. They should arrive in a few hours and the commander wasn't looking forward to it. Not only did they have a massive Geth presence in the human colony but then there was the issue with the names. It would have to wait until after Feros though. If it went badly he couldn't afford to have Feral distracted on such a dangerous mission.
He sighed as the placed the pad back down onto his desk, rubbing his forehead before a voice came over the intercom on his terminal.
"Commander, can you come and talk to me in the med bay? I need to discuss the medi-gel shipments with you" Dr Chakwas' voice suddenly filled the room.
He leant forward and pressed the send button "Sure, I'll be there in a moment" He pushed his seat back and stood up as a 'thank you' came through the speaker again, stepping out and walking over to the med bay.
- Normandy's engine room –
Tali was sitting down next to an open panel on the floor, she was tapping at her omni-tool as strands of data ran across the holographic screen. "Are you nearly done yet?" she called down into the hole
A voice called back from deep inside the shaft, vibrating off the walls slightly "I still don't see why I had to do this Tali, you're smaller than I am" Feral was inside the shaft, pulling himself as he checked the connections. The two of them had detected a small glitch in the systems and they were currently trying to fix it.
"Yes, but~ you can see in the dark AND you owe me for making me trick Kaidan earlier" she purred back at the man, hearing a laugh vibrate back up into the room.
"Well touché on the seeing in the dark thing" Feral called, pausing briefly before carrying on "BUT! You did the tricking all by yourself" the sound of his voice was drowned out by a brief amount of fizzing. "How's that look?" he called up
Tali hit a few keys on her omni-tool before shouting back "That's it Feral, the glitch is gone" smiling as she heard Feral moving quickly back below the hole, his head popping up as he pushed himself up onto his ass.
"Little help?" he put his hand up and the quarian reached forward and grabbed his forearm. Hoisting him out back onto the floor, before the fitting the panel back in place. He stretched out as he stood up, before looking across as Tali transferred the report to a small data pad so she could take it to Shepard.
"Hey let me take that" he reached out a hand "Like you said I still owe you for 'making' you trick Kaidan" using quotation marks as he stepped up to Tali, noticing the look in her eyes "Oh come on don't tell me you didn't have fun" he leant in close, trying to peer through her visor.
Tali just froze slightly as the man got closer to her; he was so close that she could see his breath fogging up the glass on her helmet. Gulping as she felt one of his hands run up her forearm, her eyes darting between his eyes and his lips before suddenly he jumped away.
Feral waved the data pad in his hand playfully "Oh that was waaaay to easy Tali" he laughed as he walked away, smiling at how easily he'd managed to pry the data pad from her. He'd at least expected a playful fight but she'd just frozen up. He'd make sure her hadn't done something to offend her when he got back. He hurried out of the room, completely unaware of why Tali had actually frozen up.
Tali just stood in the middle on the engine room, blinking in her helmet as she felt her cheeks practically burst into flames. She knew he'd just been joking around. She knew none of that was meant to have been anything but one of Feral's games. 'Keelah….what was that?' she thought to herself, rubbing her hands together as she stepped back off to her terminal. Her mind racing as she couldn't get the image of Feral's kind eyes out of her head.
The familiar sound of Feral beating his head against the elevator door sounded out through the Normandy's mess hall, the crew were convinced he was one day going to put a hole straight through the metal and had starting betting on how soon it would happen. The managed to hold their laughs as Feral stepped towards the commander's office, but they all laughed when he asked how the bets were going as he strolled past.
Feral stood outside Shepard's quarters, knocking at the door before waiting. Humming to himself before he knocked again, still no answer. Shepard was out but he only had to drop the pad on his desk, so he tapped the door switch and stepped in. Humming a little louder as he placed the pad down onto his desk. He stopped in the middle of turning away. Had he….no he couldn't have. He looked back and slowly looked down at the data pad on Shepard's desk.
9 names were glowing on its screen, he recognised them all.
"Hey guys….long time no see" he sighed, his once happy exterior replaced by a blank stare. His eyes were lighting up, he couldn't believe it. Shepard had done the one thing he'd asked him not to; Shepard had been trying to discover his identity.
- 5 minutes later –
Shepard stepped out of Chakwas' office, his conversation with the good doctor had been riveting and he'd briefly stepped into Liara's office to prevent himself from committing suicide. He had a smile on his face again as he stepped out into the mess hall, nodding happily as he acknowledged the rest of the crew. His talk with Liara had once again strayed to the topic of 'us', and after his drink with Feral the commander was feeling more confident about their blossoming relationship. He'd have to talk to her again after the Feros mission.
Shepard missed what one of the crewman shouted over at him, he'd been too deep in thought to hear him and just said "Thank you" to whatever the man had said. He tapped the door to his office and stopped after taking just one step. Feral was sitting in the chair next to his desk, a data pad in his hands.
'Shit' just by the look on Feral's face he could tell it wasn't just a report. It was the list of names he'd gotten from Anderson. Sighing he slowly stepped in and let the doors close behind him, Feral finally looking up at him.
"Before you say anything Feral" he was cut off by the low, growling voice of the super human.
"No…No Shepard. I asked you to not try and find me" his eyes were glaring up at the commander. The rest of his face was calm, but his eyes were burning and his voice was humming from the deep growling in his throat. "…..how long have you had these names and where did you get them?"
Shepard gulped slightly, Feral was pissed but he wasn't showing it much. It could only mean one thing. He was deep in concentration, listening and smelling anything the commander gave off as a signal he was lying. Feral had the advantage here, and Shepard couldn't risk making him even angrier.
"I got them from Captain Anderson the last time we were on the Citadel." He said slowly, making sure he was confident in the facts before he said them. "Anderson used what little I had told him about you to track down anyone whose service record ended roughly 4 years ago. Around the time Kahoku deployed an entire platoon to an unknown planet, our reasoning was that..." again he was cut off
"the only reason the Admiral would devote so much time and resources is if a special operations team had gone MIA, presumed KIA." Feral finished for the commander, looking back down at the list of names. "That being said, you can eliminate some of these names immediately. Which ones have you stopped considering?" Feral needed to know if his real name was being suspected.
"Any of the names with a rank below lieutenant" Shepard just stated
Feral closed his eyes briefly 'Damn it, he's got me then…unless' "Have you gotten into their service records fully?"
"No, they are sealed shut under black ops and we can't open them without definitive proof you are one of those names" Shepard sighed, proof they'd probably never get at this point.
"Thank you for not lying commander" Feral growled out in a low, monotone voice as he threw the pad onto the desk. "I trusted you Shepard, I asked you not to dig" he looked up at the commander, a frown finally appearing on his face.
"I'm sorry Feral, I didn't mean for you to find out this way" Shepard said, he felt bad he really did. Feral had been a good friend to him over the past few weeks and he had betrayed his trust.
Feral suddenly rose out of the seat, the sudden bang of the chair hitting the wall made Shepard jump slightly before Feral shouted "HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT SHEPARD?" snarling angrily, his canines rubbing against his bottom lip as he bared his teeth. "WHEN YOU FOUND OUT WHICH OF THOSE NAMES BELONGS TO ME? WHEN THE ALIIANCE COMES STORMING INTO THE ENGINE ROOM TO RECLAIM THEIR LOST PROPERTY?" he stood there for a moment, letting Shepard take in the words "WHEN SHEPARD?"
Shepard managed to speak back "You think I'd just hand you back over to them? Feral I wouldn't do that to you."
"AS IF YOU'D HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE!" Feral walked up to the commander and stood close enough for Shepard to see the fury in his eyes. "You find out my name Shepard, the alliance will take me. If you haven't noticed in my time away I've become something of a living weapon" he spat out each and every word. "The alliance would call it serving mankind; the scientists would call a possibility for new breakthroughs. I'd call it hell Shepard; I already killed everything in my way escaping one set of labs. What makes you think I'd let some Admiral drag me back to another?" his intentions were laid bare for Shepard to see. He would kill everyone on this ship if it meant his freedom.
Shepard sighed again, rubbing his hand into his forehead as he stepped back from the snarling super soldier. "I'm sorry Feral…..I….I never considered that." He shook his head slightly, it was the truth. Feral had spelt out the obvious and he couldn't believe he had missed it. If he had found the man's true identity. The admiralty board would've found out and demanded the super soldier be subjected to further testing. There's no way the Alliance would allow an ace in the hole like Feral to just walk away.
Feral just snorted, stepping back slightly and shaking his head "God I wish I couldn't tell that you're truth…because honestly I'd just love to kick the shit out of you right now" he growled disappointedly, "So what now Shepard? What are you going to do about these?" he held up the data pad.
Shepard just looked at it briefly "You can keep that copy and I'll ask the Captain to get rid of his"
"Good" Feral then just pushed the data pad between his two hands, crushing it slowly before crumpling it up like a piece of paper and letting it drop to the floor. "Now then….will that be all commander?" the final word dripped from his lips with venom. The situation had been handled for now, but Shepard knew it wasn't the end of it.
"Head to the comm room, we're going to have a briefing on the Feros situation in 10 minutes" Shepard just stepped out of the way for Feral to walk past him, the super human bumping into him with his shoulder as he barged past.
Feral stopped just before hitting the door panel, he turned over his shoulder and looked back at the commander "Shepard, if I find out this carries on. You can drop me off at the citadel. Until then, I'm still on board for the mission….just don't talk to me unless it's important"
"Feral one thing before you do go" Shepard piped up, he had to ask. "Was one of those names yours? I know you used to be alliance but none of those names were a sure thing. So I have to ask, was one of them yours?" it was an innocent question, he wasn't going to double cross Feral and he hoped the man could tell.
Feral just looked over his shoulder at the man, he saw that Shepard had no intent to go further with it. But he knew how powerful curiosity could be and how much it could eat at a person. He looked down briefly before hitting the door panel and walking out, a final word leaving his lips before the doors hissed shut and left Shepard alone in his quarters again.
"Yes"
- Normandy's Comm Room, 10 minutes later –
The team sat in silence as they waited for Shepard to start the briefing. The tension between Shepard and Feral was obvious and none of them knew why, but they could see Feral's eyes glaring daggers at the spectre.
Tali was worried about him, it had only been about 30 minutes since she had watched him walk out of the engine room with a smile on his face. She couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened and she couldn't take her eyes off her friend, seeing him so riled up scared her slightly. She had seen what he had done to the Cerberus base and he had seemed so calm afterwards. Just what had Shepard said to him?
Kaidan, Garrus and Ashley were just looking at each other, silently trying to figure out what could've happened between the two. They had been in the mess hall when they heard Feral shouting at him, but it was too muffled to actually hear any specific words. The face of the super soldier as he stormed away from Shepard's quarters had been chilling, his stance was aggressive and his face looked like thunder.
Liara was worried about Shepard on the other hand, she cared deeply about the man and he had told her as much about Feral as he could. She knew that Shepard considered him a friend and she was worried that he'd never be able to get his friend back.
Wrex really couldn't care less, he was just looking forward to kill something and Feros was the next big location for plenty of good Geth hunting.
Shepard finally started, all the eyes in the room that weren't already glaring at him turned towards him. The mission was relatively simple; they were going to land at the ExoGeni companies' small colony on Feros. Zhu's Hope. The Geth had attacked the colony and were bombarding the ExoGeni headquarters on the planet. Clearly Saren was interested in the colony and the council wanted him to find out why. Their mission was primarily dealing with the Geth attack, Shepard wanted to help the colony in any way they could. It would be their base of operations while they were there and they'd need to keep it up and running if they were going to be there for longer than a day.
"So that's it, any questions?" Shepard finally finished.
"Are we done here?" Feral limply raised a hand. Shepard just nodded at the man. "Good, I'll be getting my equipment ready" Feral stood up and just walked out of the room as fast as he could, the door hissing shut behind him.
There was a brief silence in the room before finally Kaidan spoke up. "Commander, all due respect, but what the hell is going on between you two?" everyone looked up at Shepard again, who sat back against the comm room terminal.
He sighed "you've all had suspicions about his origins. The last time we were on the citadel Anderson had found a list of 9 names and ranks that could've belonged to Feral. Feral found them in my office a while ago and…well…..some of you heard what he said to me when I came back."
Ashley burst out "Wait? He actually was Alliance?" the entire room was interested now; even Wrex had gotten curious at the revelation.
Shepard nodded gently "Before anyone says anything else, this whole situation has arisen because Feral feels betrayed. He's right to. I went behind his back and I dug into a past he wanted left alone. He'll know that I will have told you all this, but don't dig any further. If he is revealed as an Alliance soldier he will be reinstated and the Admiralty Board will want him to undergo further testing" and at the end of that sentence, both Kaidan and Tali voiced their concern.
"Keelah Shepard! You saw what he did in that Cerberus base! You know what he'd do if confronted with the idea of going back into a lab" she said loudly, worry ringing through her words.
"Commander she's right. We're his friends but if he had to choose between fighting his way through a platoon of Alliance soldiers and going into an Alliance lab. Sir, he'd kill everyone in a heartbeat" Kaidan was just as worried, he'd been there with Tali and Shepard when they'd found him. He still remembered the state of the men and women after he'd got his hands on a weapon. He was a friendly person, but if he was faced with his own personal hell again….Kaidan didn't even dare to think about it.
Shepard put his hands up to silence the two. "I know and It was something I had never considered. I was doing it purely to try and help him through. We all know he looks happy but I'm sure some of you have picked up on it, he's damaged and potentially unstable" No one could deny that. The outburst on Noveria, the broken rails in the engine room. Tali, especially, had seen how unstable he could be, he had attacked her that night and she still remembered the fury on his face.
"I know it was a bad call now and before you berate me more….he's my friend too" he let his head drop at that.
"Alright Shepard, we get your point." Garrus spoke softly from his seat "but what do we do about Feral? He looks like he's on a warpath"
"Don't worry about him; he's still on for the mission. Just keep an eye out on him, all of you. If you see any really reckless behaviour….try and talk him out of it" Shepard ended. He dismissed the rest of the team who went off to collect their gear. In the lower deck they could all see Feral sitting on top of the Mako, he was facing away from the all. Looking down at his lap as he held something in his hands.
Tali was about to go over to him when Garrus grabbed her arm. She was going to voice her reasons before the turian just shook his head. "Look at him Tali; he's already in enough pain. Let him try to work through this on his own. We can be there for him when he's ready" the Turian gently spoke; they may have butted heads on occasion. But Garrus greatly respected the man, he was strong but even Feral was starting to buckle; he needed time to gather his strength again.
The young quarian nodded back, looking back over at Feral as he sat on top of the tank. Finally she dragged her eyes away from him, sighing as she wondered what she could possibly do to help him. What any of them could do to help him.
- Zhu's Hope, Feros –
The Normandy had docked and the entire team had disembarked, it wasn't too long before the squad came under heavy Geth attack. The synthetic beings had wedged their way between the colony and the port and now Shepard and his team would have to punch a hole through the enemy lines to get to the colony. It turned out that Garrus had been right, Feral was on a warpath.
Liara and Kaidan were holding a barrier over the super soldier as he went on a rampage that even put Wrex to shame. With one hand he gripped onto his assault rifle, charging shoulder first into the Geth platforms faster than they had to react; a strong, super human fist destroying their processing units before they could counter attack. The barriers combined with his armour's shielding were proving difficult to penetrate at the lightning speed at which Feral was dispatching the platforms. The rest of the squad was more or less in a support role, cutting down stragglers or knocking out their shields so Feral could get his hands on them.
They watched in a mixture of awe and terror as he grabbed a hold of the last platform, knocking its weapon to the ground before he drove his fist into its chest. Gripping at the gaping hole with both hands and tearing the platform in half. The synthetic screeching of the Geth filling the stony stairway as white blood sprayed all over his chest plate, his hands coated in the white material from where he'd grabbed at its armour. Before any of them could say anything, he had grabbed his rifle and was walking up the stairs towards the colony.
Tali really couldn't complain at Feral wiping out a Geth patrol effectively by himself, but she was worried. He was starting to scare her; the ferocity of his attacks was starting to match those they had seen at the Cerberus facility where he'd been found. She'd seen his rage before, but he had used it to defend her. This fury was different, this time Feral wanted nothing more than to kill anything in his way.
The group made their way into Zhu's hope, where they were quickly directed toward Fai Dan. He began to explain the situation to the commander when suddenly Geth started to pour out of the tunnels leading to the skyway. Apparently Shepard was worried about Feral as well, instead of using the super soldier to his full potential he ordered him to stay back and man the entrance to the colony with Wrex. The two of them could handle anything the rest of the team missed. Feral hadn't even bothered to argue his case, he just growled before walking away.
Feral sat back on a crate in front of the doorway as he watched the team run off, he noticed Tali looking back at him briefly before she turned away and disappeared down the tunnel. He almost fell of his seat when Wrex slapped him on the back.
The Krogan laughed as he leant back against a wall "that was some show back there human. Finally putting those Krogan genes to good use I see" he laughed again as Feral just stared at him blankly, before staring off into the distance again.
"Word of advice though human, you put that much rage and anger into battle. Eventually it'll kill you. I should know, I grew up on a planet with more rage and anger than the rest of the universe combined" Wrex just stared off towards the sound of battle
"Skip the lesson Wrex, if you have a point to this just get it out already." Feral growled slightly, earning another laugh from Wrex.
"Straight to the point, another fine use of Krogan DNA" he snorted as Feral rolled his eyes "Don't stay mad for too long. Shepard didn't do what he did because he didn't trust you or because he wanted to shove you back in some lab. He just wanted to help you overcome your anger, overcome your past"
"I didn't ask for his damn help Wrex" Feral spat, burning a hole into the wall ahead with the fire in his eyes.
"Neither did I, and yet. While you were laughing and drinking with the turian and the other humans. He was helping me get my families armour back." This made Feral look at him slightly "Shepard doesn't do things for an ulterior motive, he's not plotting to stab you in the back like those slimy Salarians did to my people"
Feral just kept quiet, before finally Wrex sighed "Look this is all getting too squishy for me. The point is, Shepard didn't do it to piss you off. He did it to calm you down, and unless you get over it you will get yourself killed. You're not invincible human, even if that anger makes you feel like it" Wrex walked away, it was getting way too mushy for him.
Shepard had told them all to keep out of Feral's business for a while, but he was a Krogan. Anger, betrayal and a past that haunted his people made him associate with the human…plus there was the small fact they could both tear anything in their way a new one without even sweating. To a krogan, strength was as important as respect. The human was powerful, and Wrex respected him.
Feral sat back as Wrex left him to his own devices, he was thinking about what the Krogan had said and slightly at the fact that he had made a lot of sense. He didn't know what surprised him more, Wrex giving him advice or the fact he was right. He rested his head in his hands, maybe he'd eventually calm down. But it'd take more than the Krogan to calm him down in his current state, his anger at Shepard quickly returning as he remembered his name on the data pad. Flashes of sterile white labs passed through his head. Never again. Not for the Alliance, not for Cerberus. Not for anyone.
Before too long, the team started to return. The team split up after Fai Dan had asked them to look around the colony for the team to help with. Feral, Tali and Wrex were tasked with going down into the depths of the ruins. It turned out that most of the colonies problems were located down there and the three of them could handle that while the rest of the team boarded the Mako to cross the Skyway.
In truth, Shepard really wanted to have taken all three with him. But Feral was beginning to look like a problem; he couldn't have two of his biotics constantly trying to keep him alive. He hoped that running odd jobs around the colony would calm him down; hopefully Tali could help a little. But if anything did go wrong, he'd asked Wrex to use force to stop him if necessary.
Feral was starting to get even more pissed with the commander. Being held back to effectively do chores while the rest of the team went off to do the job at hand was getting him angry, he'd told Shepard that he was still on board and he was. Getting forced to stand back was getting him annoyed and it was showing. The small team had run into a relatively small amount of Geth in the tunnels and he was destroying them, running into fire as he tore into the machines.
Tali was desperately trying to knock out the shields of the platforms or rewire them as she watched her friend throw himself into the enemy. Feral was blinded by his rage and ignoring the rounds bouncing off his shields, luckily she and Wrex were taking out the rest of the platforms. Unlike her Wrex was having fun, he was enjoying the power at which they had charged through the enemy. Clearly forgetting his words of wisdom in the heat of battle.
Tali sighed when the fire fight in the tunnels came to an end; Feral hadn't noticed that rounds had put a hole in his side. The smouldering hole showing in the back of his shirt. She didn't have a chance to say anything before the two battle fuelled men headed off in the direction of the Geth transmitter. A krogan warlord and a few geth snipers stood in their way, she watched as the two quickly cut down the warlord. Feral had driven his combat knife straight into the reptiles head, cracking through the face plate with relative ease as he leapt onto the krogan. She'd briefly seen his eyes as they shut down the transmitter, the more and more of Feral she saw. The more scared she became, his eyes growing ever darker as his killing spree went rampant.
They were trudging back to the colony; Feral was carrying two power cells that they had found in a wrecked M29 grizzly. His fists and chest were splattered in both organic and synthetic blood. Wrex was leading the way as Feral carried the heavy cells. Tali dropped back slightly, she was looking over at him. His chest piece was dented from the amount of bullets that had hit him, she sighed at thinking how lucky he was to not have been hurt even more. Only a few of the rounds had pierced his armour or missed it completely and taken chunks out of his legs and sides.
She was rubbing her hands as she walked next to him, before she finally built up the courage to speak "Are you ok Feral?" she truly was worried about him.
"Do I look ok to you?" Feral just coldly replied, glancing over at her as he carried the cells on both of his shoulders.
Tali's face dropped even more behind her helmet as they walked along, she'd never heard him sound so dead before. "Shepard told us what he did to you Feral….are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" she jumped as the man suddenly snapped at her.
"Talk about what? Talk about how one of my friends betrayed my trust? How he accidentally could've gotten me thrown into an Alliance science facility instead of a Cerberus one?" he was growling at her, Tali was recoiling away from him "No I don't want to talk about it" he snarled as he turned to walk away
"Feral please…" Tali pleaded with him
"Please what?" he turned back around to face her, his fang like canines bearing slightly "There's nothing to talk about Tali. If you haven't noticed apparently I'm some sort of crazy super soldier. I've had everything taken away from me…my name is the last thing I have left that's still mine. I'm not going to let anyone take that too" he turned back around, walking off as he picked up the power cells again leaving Tali standing alone in the tunnels.
"Feral" she whined softly, a lone tear running down her cheek as the man who had once been her defender walked away. Eventually she recomposed herself and walked off back towards the colony.
The three had cleared the tunnels of varren, reopened the water valves, grabbed the power cells from the tank and shut down the transmitter. They had down everything Fai Dan had asked them to do, so they returned to the front of the Normandy. Waiting to hear word from Shepard and the rest of the team, Feral was working on his omni-tool as he sat on the stone wall. Tali was sitting on the floor against a crate, drawing images absent mindedly into the dirt as she thought about what had happened between her and Feral.
Wrex stepped out of the Normandy's airlock; he had quickly gone back into the ship to grab something to eat before coming back out. "Anything from Shepard yet?" he asked only to be responded by a shake of the head. "Bah! If he'd taken us with him they'd probably be done by now" he growled as he leant against a pillar and started eating whatever he'd grabbed.
"I wonder what those two want though" he gestured over to two of the Zhu's Hope guards who were walking over to them, their movements seemed stiff but Wrex just figured it was from fatigue. Most humans were pretty soft so it was pretty likely.
Feral looked up at them from his omni-tool and groaned "No idea, but I guess I'll go and find out" he jumped off the stone and walked over to the two guards. It was probably just about another chore they wanted the three of them to do.
Tali watched as Feral went off, staring at the man's back before looking back down at the ground. She could hear them talking, the two guards weren't making much sense and their words seemed a little jumbled. That made her look up again, tilting her head as she tried to make sense of the conversation. Feral clearly didn't have the patience and just rolled his head before turning his back on the two guards. Shrugging as he walked back towards Tali and Wrex.
Tali went wide eyed as she watched what happened next; the guard with the assault rifle suddenly pointed it at Feral's back. It was like time slowed down for her, she could hear everything so clearly. The man squeezing the trigger followed by the thuds of the bullets launching out of the rifle.
"FERAL!" she screamed, jumping to her feet and grabbing her weapon. Wrex throwing away his meal and reaching for his shotgun. She'd been too late though; the initial burst of assault rifle rounds had torn through Feral's shielding, the man crumbling over onto his chest as the rounds exploded out through his chest. It hadn't been enough to kill him, struggling at the ground as he lay there winded for a second. He tried to roll over and take aim at the two with his pistol before a second burst found its target. His head jolting back before he slumped back onto the ground, going limp as blood starting to soak the stone and dirt floor.
Tali and Wrex instantly starting firing in the general area with their shotguns, warps and overloads being thrown at the two guards as they ran back around the corner and towards the colony.
"Tali grab him!" Wrex shouted as they both ran forward, the krogan pushing ahead of the bloody body of Feral as Tali wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Dragging him as fast as she could back towards the Normandy's airlock. Wrex was keeping watch, stepping back in time as she dragged him. Leaving a trail of blood on the floor as she did. Eventually she reached the airlock of the Normandy, Wrex helping her pick Feral up as the moved into the ship. The last thing they saw was a group of colonists and guards rushing back towards the Normandy. Shots pinging off the sides of the dock as the airlock doors closed.
Wrex and Tali both panting as they waited for the airlock to run its cycle. "What the hell just happened?" Wrex finally asked, looking down at the quarian as she cradled Feral's head in her arms. She could see the wounds slowly healing up, it would take time. She knew that now, but this time she wasn't worried about whether he'd come back. Just if she could stop him from going back outside.
Black. The last things Feral had seen had been bullets tearing out of his chest as he fell forward onto the floor. Gasping for air as he watched Tali and Wrex scramble to their feet in the distance. The pain, Feral may regenerate wounds fast but he sure as hell still felt the pain. Pushing himself onto his back, reaching down for his pistol and then nothing.
Nothing until he finally gasped for air, struggling to stop himself from convulsing as the neurons suddenly started firing again. Looking around as he tried to figure out where he was. Blue walls, dim lights and he thought he saw a medi-gel dispenser on the wall. The med bay. As he convulsed and contorted around on the examining table he felt two small hands press down on his chest.
"It's ok" the voice was soft and had a small synthetic flare to it "We're safe now Feral" Tali watched as the man's muscles tensed as he moved around on the table. Chakwas was standing behind her, just watching the medical marvel.
"Amazing…..until now I'd assumed you'd all been hamming this whole thing up" she finally said "But true human regeneration, and to such an extent that even nerves grow back" the doctor was astonished, but quickly stopped when Tali looked back at her and shook her head slightly. She was right; Chakwas had let her medical mind get the better of her. Feral was in no condition to be treated like an experiment again.
Finally Feral just sighed loudly as he collapsed back onto the bed, one hand reaching up and clutching at his chest and the other holding his head. His breathing was ragged and rough; the after effects of a total body reboot the doctor silently thought. That's essentially what the convulsions were, after the brain switches back the impulses and electrical signals would be flying out. Trying to determine that everything was still there and doing what it should be doing.
Chakwas had kept that to herself though and finally said "If you need anything I'll be in the mess hall. Tali, I'll leave him to you" stepping out of the med bay, grabbing a sedative just in case.
Tali just watched the doctor walk out, sighing as she saw her grab the needle before she left. Turning back to Feral she still had a hand on his chest, she gently rubbed a small spot on just above his abs. There was a small trail of dried blood on his skin and she was touching the spot above it. Moments ago there had been a gaping hole in his body, and now it looked as good as new. Chakwas had cut his shirt off when Wrex had thrown the man onto the table; she wanted to make sure that he healed properly only to watch the skin slowly weave itself back together in quiet amazement.
Feral just groaned, his whole body was sore. His chest felt like someone had been doing the Cha-cha-cha on it and his head felt like someone had pushed a rail road spike into it. 'What the hell happened?' Feral thought to himself before it all came rushing back, the guards. Feral suddenly bolted up from the table and watched as Tali jumped back in shock. He quickly started stepping towards the doors before a voice and a hand stopped him.
"Feral wait! Where are you going?" Tali gripped him tightly by the arm, she knew compared to him that she was as strong as a baby but it didn't stop her.
"Payback" Feral just growled as he tore his arm out of her grip.
This time Tali rushed forward and grabbed his shoulder, trying to pull him back "Feral you can't!" she gasped and shrieked slightly as Feral spun around. Pushing his forearm against her collarbone and shoving her back into the wall, snarling as he glared straight at her. He was pinning her, and she could do nothing but struggle against his strength as she stared back into his eyes.
"F-Feral what's gotten into you?" she slowly whispered, her voice quaking slightly
"Nothing. This is just what I am Tali." He growled out as he stared into her eyes "A weapon"
She felt her heart break slightly at that sentiment, this whole time Feral had been trying to break free of Cerberus' experiments. Clutching onto anything he could from his life before. Now that his identity was at risk of being discovered, he was doing the only thing he could do.
Become the monster they had designed him to be, lose whatever was left of his past and take total control of his new identity; Feral.
"That's not true. They may have made you one but that's not who you are" Tali said softly, trying anything to break through the madness that was threatening to destroy her friend. "What happened to the man who defended me on the citadel?" she watched as Feral's snarl slowly started to drop.
"What happened to the man who trusted me enough to tell me everything?" she was trying to stay strong but her voice was betraying her, she was shaking. If she couldn't break through with this, the man Feral might never come back.
"What happened to the man who vowed never to let Cerberus create a monster?" she saw Feral's eyes starting to dart around, the silent panic she'd seen before as he fought against his very nature.
"What happened to my friend?" she raised a hand and placed it on his cheek, his eyes locking to hers when she did. Tali gently rubbed her fingers along the man's skin. "Please Feral. I don't care who you used to be…..but I care about who you are now."
That was it, her last sentence had hit home. Feral shut his eyes, she was right. What the hell had he been doing? He'd been angry, yes. He'd been furious that Shepard had gone behind his back, but was his name really worth all of this? Was it worth losing the only people in the universe who could still call him a friend? Was being alone really better?...
Tali watched the man in silence, her hand gently cupping his cheek as she waited for him to do something. She could feel the power in his arm fading, his hold on her slowly being relinquished. Then she saw him open his eyes slowly, and she silently screamed in delight. The anger, the silent stoic rage had been replaced by the kindness she'd come to know so well. Feral was back, HER Feral was back.
"Tali I'm so sorry" he managed to utter out, before he broke down completely. The weight of everything he had said and done came crashing down on the fragile man's psyche. Putting his hand on top of hers he buried one side of his face into her palm as he clenched his eyes shut again. He fell forwards into her, pinning the woman back into the wall as he silently cried against her.
Tali just smiled gently as she watched him break down, holding his body to hers as his shoulders shook slightly. Feral had done so much for her in his short time on the Normandy. He'd defended her in public, confided in her after his nightmare, he'd saved her life when the Geth hunter had ambushed them and he'd helped her complete her pilgrimage. Now it was her turn to do something for him. She'd pulled back the Feral who made everyone around him feel happy with that infectious smile and laugh.
Tali just sighed happily as she held her friend, the man clinging gently at her environmental suit and her hand as he leaned into her. Tears running down his cheeks as he realised how he'd acted. How he had nearly destroyed the friends he had made. How he'd almost become the monster he feared he was. All over a name, an identity he thought was long gone. It had taken a young, scared quarian to show him that even though he went by the name Feral, Alex was still very much alive.
- SSV Normandy, 8 hours later –
Feral was sitting on his cot in the engine room, staring down at the dog tags he held in his hands. He was thinking about everything that had happened. Everything he had said and done over the past 2 days. What Tali had said to him. 'Thank god for Tali' he thought to himself. She really was the best friend he'd ever made, even after he had shouted at her and thrown her into a wall. She was only interested in helping him; she didn't care what he was called. He sighed as he rubbed the name printed on the metal as he sat alone in the engine room.
He had been present for the debriefing; Shepard still wanted him to hear what had occurred. The Thorian, if Feral himself wasn't difficult enough to believe a giant plant that had mind control abilities was even weirder. It explained what had happened, why the colonists had turned on them. ExoGeni had been conducting experiments using the colonists. Feral had been glad he hadn't be present on the mission, in the state of mind he'd been in. Discovering yet more humans experimenting on humans may have caused him to do something he'd have really regretted.
Shepard had killed the Thorian and saved the colony though, the commander came through yet again. He even spared the once indoctrinated asari Shiala. Once again Shepard was forgiving, saving lives and setting them free.
Feral knew Shepard had been telling the truth when he said that he had never considered what the Alliance would do if they found out Feral was an Alliance marine. But this was the first time he'd actually considered the possibility that Shepard would never have let them take him. That the spectre would've done anything in his power to prevent him going back to into his personal hell.
The Normandy was currently dimmed so the crew could rest up, Feral sighed to himself. In the morning he would go and speak to Shepard. He needed to make amends with him, and a good night's rest would help him gather his thoughts. Feral breathed deeply, squeezing the metal in his hands before looking up as he saw Tali walking into the engine room with her cot.
He smiled up at the quarian as she unfolded her bed, the woman turning around after she had finished it and before she could sit down she tilted her head "What are you holding?" she asked curiously.
Feral looked down and then back up, he completely forgotten he still had his tags in his hands. He rubbed his teeth along his bottom lip as he thought quickly to himself, coming to a quick conclusion. He had promised to come to her….and his identity was still weighing down on his mind. "My dog tags" he finally said, holding up the metal for her to see
She slowly shifted "I thought we were over your identity crisis Feral" Tali was worried but she was relieved to see the man smile, it wasn't the big grin he usually had on his face but it was still a smile
"Yh…..well….I was just thinking about what you said earlier today" he glanced down at the name again, rubbing his finger over it slowly
Tali slowly moved across the room before sitting down next to the man, she was looking at him. Not the tags, she didn't care what his name was and she wasn't trying to secretly find out. "..and?"
"You were right Tali." He sighed gently, looking back at her and smiling a little more "Just because I may not go by this name anymore….it doesn't mean he's gone. I'm still me….and maybe one day I'll even go by this name again. Thank you for making me remember who I am" he smiled again, looking straight into her eyes.
Tali smiled back, it wasn't his cheeky grin this time. It was his bright, infectious smile. She wiggled slightly on the cot before purring out "Well…I'm just glad you listened to me Feral. My next plan of action involved my shotgun"
Feral laughed at that "Yh well that is good then. Geth and mind controlled guards? Easy. You and your shotgun?...fuck that" the pair laughed together at that, Tali was beaming within her helmet. She was glad to hear his laugh again after so long.
"So…..you're not even slightly curious?" Feral raised his eyebrow at her
"Pardon?" the question had thrown her off a little
"I'm holding my dog tags Tali, just one glance and you could see what my name really is" he smiled gently at her, the metal still in his hands.
Tali paused, glancing down slightly at the tags but unable to make out anything. "Well…..I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little curious but" she reached over and closed his hands around the tags "but all I care about is who you are. Your name doesn't matter to me…..plus I think Feral suits you" she giggled out that last bit
Feral just looked at the young woman, his red eyes piercing through the dim blue light of the room. A small smile slowly appeared on his lips "Would you like to know anyway?"
"Feral….you don't need to tell me. Really, it's ok." Tali pleaded with him "You wanted it kept a secret so keep it a secret" squeezing her hands around his tightly, keeping the metal hidden in their fingers.
"Tali, you saw what happened when I kept this to myself. I nearly got myself killed, permanently. I was reckless and ferocious." He sighed loudly, looking down at their tangled hands "More importantly I nearly pushed my best friend away from me. You asked me to come to you if I ever needed to get something off my chest." Tali was about to speak but Feral cut her off
"I know, this is much bigger than what you meant. But I trust you Tali, I know you went tell anyone and….I need to get this off my chest. I need to tell someone before this tears me apart again" he looked straight back up at her, pleading with his eyes
Tali sighed; she could see the pain in his eyes. He was right; he'd done so much trying to keep this secret. Maybe sharing it would ease the burden he was carrying. Then Tali smiled, he was asking her to help take that load. He trusted her enough to reveal his deepest secret to. She blushed at the deep significance that held and finally said "Ok then, Feral. Before you do though, just know that no matter what your name is. You'll always be Feral to me ok?"
The man smiled and snorted slightly before taking a deep breath, opening his hands and forcing Tali's hands open as well. He was showing her his dog tags and she took time to look at every single word on them before Feral spoke up.
"Hello Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, I'm Alex"