Kingdom Hearts: The True Story
By: Tour Guide62
Disclaimer: Fortunately for everyone, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Square Enix plus Disney do.
Sorry if this is confusing, but the Narrator is telling the story and will interrupt, help, or insult Sora at different times. When he's telling the story, he has no quotation marks around his lines, but when he directly interacts with the characters his lines will have quotations around them.
I went back and fixed the first chapter, so now it's in story format.
Chapter 2: Grunt Work
Oh, my head… Sora thought. He was laying down on something warm with his eyes shut. He slowly opened them and found he was staring at an extremely sunny, blue sky. He sat up and looked in front of him. He saw he was on a beach and was facing the ocean.
He yawned and prepared to go back to sleep. He laid down and closed his eyes when…
"AAAHHHHHHH!" Screamed a voice in his ear.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sora screamed as he shot back up. He turned around and saw a redheaded girl wearing a purple skirt and white sleeve-less shirt laughing at him.
"Motherfu- I mean, hey Kairi!" Sora said as he sat down in the sand.
"Sora, you lazy bum," Kairi said, "I knew I'd find you sleeping down here. What's up? Don't you get any sleep?"
Sora thought back to the previous night…
"Ha-ha, Sora!" said one of his friends. "You have to go to jail again!"
Sora looked at where his piece had landed, then flipped the board over. "FU** THIS GAME! THIS GAME FU**ING SUCKS! AND WHY THE FU** DO YOU ALWAYS GET TO BE THE MOTHERFU**ING RACECAR! YOU CHEAP PIECE OF SH**!
…Sora muttered, "Why am I always the iron?"
"What?" asked Kairi.
"Oh, nothing. Anyway, I wasn't sleeping! This huge black thing kicked me off a stain glass platform, and the narrator was yelling at me, and… OW!" Sora rubbed the spot on his head where Kairi had just hit him. "What was that for?"
Kairi pointed over to a pizza box on the beach. "Did you eat that pizza?"
Sora looked, and then nodded, "Yeah. Why?"
Kairi shook her head, "I told you that pizza was 3-months old. No wonder you had that weird dream."
"It wasn't a dream!" Said Sora. Then he dropped his eyes and muttered, "Or was it? I don't know."
"It wasn't." whispered the Narrator.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed Sora. He turned to Kairi, who was wide-eyed at his scream. "D-DID YOU HEAR HIM!?!"
"Hear who?" asked a concerned Kairi.
"THE NARRATOR!" Screamed Sora. "JUST LISTEN!"
Several seconds of silence passed.
"…BOOOOOOOGGAA-BOOOOOGGGAAA!" yelled the Narrator.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sora screamed.
"…Sora. Just stay calm." Said Kairi.
Sora stopped screaming and got into the fetal position. "Mommy…" he whimpered.
"Geez Louise…" muttered Kairi as she walked towards the ocean.
Sora got up and said, "Louise? Louise…Louisiana? Kairi!" She turned to look at him. "Are you from Louisiana?"
"What the- Sora I told you before, I don't remember where I'm from." Kairi told him.
"Do you ever want to go back?"
"How would I want to go back if I don't remember it? Besides, I'm happy here."
"Really?"
"But, I would like to see it. At least once." Kairi said.
"Me too!" said Sora. "Along with any other worlds out there! I want to see them all!" His grin took on a sadistic turn. "AND THEN, WHEN THEY HAVE GOTTEN COMFORTABLE, I WILL CONQUER THEIR WORLD AND CLAIM IT AS MY OWN!"
Kairi, who had tuned Sora out, asked, "What was that Sora?"
Sora smiled and said, "Nothing."
"HEY!" yelled a voice. They both turned to see a silver-haired boy with a yellow and black sleeveless shirt and dark blue pants. He was holding a log in his arm. "Aren't you two forgetting about me?" He smiled and said jokingly, "I guess I'm the only one still working on the raft…"
His face turned angry, and he ran forward and bashed Sora in the head with the log he was carrying. His smile returned as he turned to Kairi and said, "You're just as lazy as he is. I mean look at him, laying down on the job." He shook his head, "Tsk, tsk. Not very reliable, Sora."
Sora, who was facedown in the sand, mumbled, "Riku, you son-of-a…"
Riku stepped on Sora and said, "However, I, Riku, have brought you, Kairi, a log for the raft."
"Ok, Riku, hang on." Kairi brought out a checklist. Only a single item, a log, was written on it. "And Sora," Kairi said.
Sora stood up, only to get crushed by a list as thick as the log Riku had just hit him with.
"That's what you need to get! Good luck!" Kairi waved cheerfully as she and Riku walked away.
"Oh, crap…" Sora muttered from underneath the list.
Several hours later…
Sora lugged the last log back to where Kairi was waiting. He thought moodily, I'm supposed to be the star of this thing… why am I the one doing the grunt work?
He dropped the log next to all the other items he had to get. Among them were a harpoon, a boom box, and a very confused third-grader.
"Thanks Sora, I found something today! I think you should have it for all your hard work."
She gave a Hi-potion to Sora, who proceeded to do the standard RPG-hero pose by holding it in the air.
Riku came over and said, "Hey Kairi!"
"Thanks for your help today Riku. Here you go." She dropped 5000 munny into his hands.
"You got to be kidding…" said Sora.
"That's all we need to get for today!" said Kairi. She led Riku and the very depressed Sora to the smaller island connected by a bridge.
Kairi and Sora sat on the paopu tree, while Riku leaned against it. Sora stared out to the ocean's horizon, and watched the setting sun for a moment before saying, "So, Kairi's home is out there somewhere, right?"
"Could be." Said Riku. "We'll never know if we stay…"
"But how far could a raft take us?" Sora interrupted.
"Who knows? If we have to we'll think of…"
"RIKU! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" Interrupted Sora, who proceeded to cross his eyes.
Riku snapped. He walked over, grabbed Sora from the tree, pummeled him with a barrage of fists, and threw him off the island into the ocean below.
"…Think of something else." Riku finished as he walked back to the tree and leaned against it, as though nothing had happened.
"So suppose you get to another world. What would you do once you got there?" asked Kairi, as a drenched Sora climbed back onto the tree.
Riku pondered this for a second, then said, "I haven't really though about it. I just- I just always wondered why we're here, on this island. If there are other worlds, we could have just as easily ended up somewhere else, right? And if there are other worlds, then ours is just a little piece of something much greater."
Sora snored as an answer.
Kairi leaned over and elbowed him in the crotch.
Sora's eyes snapped opened and he said seriously, albeit squeakily, "I don't know."
"Exactly." Said Riku. "That's why we need to go out there and find out." He got up and walked to the edge of the island. "Just sitting here won't change a thing. It's the same old stuff. So let's go."
Kairi looked at him and asked, "You've been thinking a lot about this, haven't you?"
Riku shrugged and said, "Thanks to you. If you hadn't come here, I probably wouldn't have thought about any of this." He paused. "Kairi…thanks."
She giggled a bit and said, "You're welcome."
Sora looked at the two of them and asked, "What about me?"
Riku looked at him and said, "You remind me of why I want to leave this place Sora."
"Aww, thanks Riku." Said Sora. After a moment's silence, Sora realized what that meant. "HEY!" he shouted.
A few minutes later, all three of them were walking on the bridge to get on their boats and go home.
Kairi walked faster than the two boys and was quite a distance away from them.
Sora heard Riku shout behind him, "Sora!"
Sora turned and managed to catch a star-shaped fruit that Riku had thrown at him.
"You wanted one didn't you?" asked Riku.
"A paopu fruit?" asked Sora.
"If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each others lives no matter what." Said Riku as he walked away. "I know you want to try it."
"What are you-"
Riku laughed and walked away singing, "Sora likes Kairi, Sora likes Kairi!"
"HEY!" Sora shouted as he threw the paopu away. He then proceeded to run to his boat.
Below the bridge, Tidus was walking towards his boat. "Man, I was the star of my own game, and I don't have any decent impact on the plo-" His complaining was cut short as the paopu hit him in the head.
Meanwhile
In a far off world, there was a castle. It was blue and white and was home to many peaceful inhabitants.
However, the white duck wearing a blue shirt and hat severely lacked the "peaceful" aspect.
Donald Duck was not somebody you wanted to piss off on normal days. Wake him up at 5 A.M and tell him to get ready to greet his friend in 4 hours time made him even more temperamental as usual. In fact, the only reason he was not rushing to attack this particular friend was because he was the King of the whole castle, and could very easily lock Donald in the dungeon and wait for him to cool down.
Just like last time… thought Donald. He passed some brooms that were busy cleaning, and reminded himself that there were worse jobs than being the King's slave…I mean Royal Magician.
He stopped in front of two obscenely large purple doors. Donald cleared his throat with an "Ahem".
Nothing happened.
"What the-" said Donald, who cleared his throat again, and again.
Still, nothing happened.
Donald grumbled to himself as he pushed the two huge doors open. As soon as he was through pushing, however, a small door opened up on one of the big ones. Donald grumbled and looked down at the Kings throne, where he sat watching him.
The room they were in was a huge white hall with a single red carpet down the middle of it. On the wall behind the throne, there were two humongous statues. One had Donald's likeness, while the other had the likeness of a dog in armor.
Donald walked to the throne and said, "Hey your Majesty! It's good to see you this…WHAT!?!"
Donald was shocked to discover that the King was not there, and in his place he had constructed a dummy with Mickey Mouse ears and a basketball for his head.
A yellow dog walked from behind the throne with a letter in his mouth.
Donald grabbed it and read it, his eyes furiously moving as he quickly finished it. He put it in his pocket and did what came naturally to him: He ran away in a panic, screaming as he did so.
A few minutes later, Donald was running through the Royal Garden. Normally he would have stopped and appreciated the work the gardeners did, but right now he was looking for somebody.
Let's see… it's still early in the morning which means he should be slacking off somewhere around here, thought Donald as he frantically searched. He finally found a black dog wearing armor snoozing in a bed of flowers.
"Wake up, Goofy!" Donald yelled. "This is serious!"
Goofy did not wake up.
Frustrated, Donald hit him with a thunder spell. Goofy, however, still did not wake up. Donald cast every spell he knew, but Goofy wouldn't wake up for anything. After several minutes, Donald had been reduced to poking Goofy with his staff.
Donald threw down his staff and sat on the grass, having finally decided to just let Goofy wake up on his own.
A butterfly flew through the air several feet above them. Donald watched it make its way down to Goofy. The butterfly landed on Goofy's nose.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Goofy as he woke up. He looked wildly around for a few seconds, but turned around when he heard a THUD.
"Donald?" Goofy asked. "Why are you hitting yourself in the head with your staff."
A dazed Donald put the staff down and mumbled, "No reason." He shook his head and remembered why he was here. "Listen Goofy, I'm about to tell you something top secret, okay? And you can't tell a soul!"
Goofy looked at him and asked, "Queen Minnie?"
Donald looked at him and said, "Not even the Queen!"
Goofy asked, "Daisy?"
Donald shook his head furiously, "NO! You can't tell anyone! Especially not the Queen or Daisy!"
"G'morning ladies!" Goofy greeted cheerfully.
"Tell us what, Donald?" Came a soft voice behind them.
Donald froze. Gulping, he nervously turned around to face Queen Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck.
Queen Minnie was trying not to laugh at Donald's distress, while Daisy had placed her hands on her hips and was looking at Donald expectantly.
Donald chuckled nervously.
Oh crap, he thought.
It's been awhile since I've updated.
…
Oh, well.
Review please!