Chapter 11
Feel Nothing
January 5, 1997
I had not see Draco or Professor Snape since Christmas and I had the burning suspicion that they were avoiding me, for they were not attending meals or venturing the castle at all. Actually, I had not seen much of anyone, except perhaps Dobby the house-elf and after being so devoid of company during the Christmas holiday I was always more than happy to discuss his beloved sock collection.
Though lonely as my holiday might have been, my time alone gave me an opportunity to think. I thought about my cousin a little, but to my surprise I thought about Professor Snape less than I had in months. Lately my thoughts had mainly surrounded around Draco Malfoy and what had happened in the boy's lavatory on Christmas day, if anything really happened at all.
I thought about him so much, in fact, that I dreamt about him every night since, and it was always the same dream.
In the dream Draco and I were in the boy's bathroom again, except this time he was laughing and I was laughing too. Then suddenly we both stop. Then Draco slowly closes the space there is between us. He strokes my cheek and tells me that he really likes me and then I wake up.
I yawned as I walked through the doors of Professor Snape's classroom; I was nervous about today and did not sleep well at all. This would be the first time I have seen my cousin since Christmas, since he gave me the present. This would also be the first time I was seeing Draco. I wondered if he would talk to me today or if I should talk to him. Or maybe he just wanted to forget all that had happened between us. Did anything happen between us?
I scanned the room. And there he was. Immediately his eyes found mine. He's expression was placid as he watched me walk to my seat. I wondered if he had been thinking about me as much as I've been thinking of him. Suddenly a small beam of sunlight escapes from the room's heavy curtains. The light fell on Draco, impressively eliminating his pale skin, making his grey eyes sparkle beautifully.
Smack! I staggered into a desk. "Sorry Hermione," I said, for I had just run straight into her. I turn to see Draco grinning down at his desk. My face burned.
"It's alright," Hermione said passively as she sat.
Professor Snape strolled to the front of the room and I hastened to sit before he started taking roll.
"Brown, Granger…" Professor Snape began reading off names.
"I really like you," Malfoy says as he strokes my cheek. He moves his face so close to mine that I could count his eyelashes. His eyes are bright as he smiles at me. His smile leaves me feeling breathless. He tenderly presses his lips against mine. I feel Goosebumps climb up my arm. But as soon as the kiss happens he backs away. Why did he stop? I don't want him to stop. "Alex," he says. "Alex," but this time his voice sounds like Professor Snape's.
Bang! I jumped. I slowly looked up to see Professor Snape glaring down at me. He had slammed a book down on my desk to wake me up. "Having pleasant dreams, were you?" He asked furiously. I heard giggles behind me. This could have possibly been a first. I don't think anyone has ever been stupid enough to fall asleep during one of Professor Snapes lessons.
"Professor," I started guiltily, "I'm so sorry."
"Get up." He ordered.
"Why," I asked suspiciously.
"Because," he snared, "I need" he paused "an assistant for a demonstration, and you are volunteering your service." He leered maliciously. Oh crap, I thought. Assistant is that like victim. "Get up," he yelled. "There, in front of the class." I quickly obeyed.
"In this lesson," he announced to the students, "I will be teaching you how to deal with an attacker, using nothing but nonverbal spells. For the sake of demonstration," He turned his attention to me, "I will be the attacker," his mouth twitched. Oh crap, I thought again. "Alex, you will attempt to disarm me, without speaking."
I took out my wand hastily. I can do nonverbal spells that is not the issue. I rolled up my sleeves, revealing the ring on my right hand. I saw Professor Snape's focus flicked to it momentarily and then back to our duel.
I am going to disarm him now, I thought, exspel- , but before I could finish thinking the spell, my own wand flew backwards out of my hand. And before I knew it Professor Snape was right beside me jabbing his wand into my cheekbone. "If, Alex, I was, in fact trying to kill you," he hissed at me, "you would be in very deep trouble right now." Laughter came from the audience. Was Draco laughing, I wondered.
"Silence," the professor ordered the class venomously. The room instantly fell silent. "Your face," he told me, as he lowered his wand, "gave you away." I huffed. "Pick up your wand. We are going to try again and this time, control your emotions."
"How?" I asked.
"Try," he said completely unhelpfully. Again I attempted to disarm him and again my wand ended up on the floor. "Pick up your wand." He told me again. I did.
"Do not anticipate what is going to happen. Do not feel anything," the Professor taught. "You are no longer Alex Snape; you are not anyone at all. Nothing matters but the fight. Clear your mind and feel nothing." He paused a moment to let me consider what he just said. "And with that in minded, try again." He shouted the last two words.
Clear my mind and feel nothing. A sensation of emptiness swept over me. exspelliomus! Professor Snape's wand flew out of his hand and landed on the classroom floor with a miraculous clanging sound.
"I did it." I said softly in mild disbelief. I grinned widely at him.
He gave me a curt nod. "You may be seated."
I sat, still smiling, proud of my accomplishment, the rest of the class passed by peacefully.
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