CHAPTER 2: I Must Believe Him
5:45 AM
I got up into a sitting position on my bed. My eyes were stinging from all that crying I made last night. I wasn't feeling too well. Who would after your best friend suddenly ignores you? Reluctantly, I forced my way out of bed and slipped on my slippers. The room was unusually dark. The windows were closed shut, letting only a diminutive amount of light to travel inside.
"Will I go to school – or not?"
My voice was dry and coarse. So this is what I get for crying: a rough voice and a pair of swollen red eyes
~ I never thought I'd fall in love, love, love, love.
But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush ~
I looked over to my bedside table. There it was – my phone – ringing.
"H-Hello?"
"Idiot, what happened to your voice?" Hotaru.I didn't respond. What will I say to her? That I let out rivers of tears when I got back from her laboratory where I, also, cried to no end? No. I don't want her to worry for me -
"You cried."
But no matter how hard I try to not let her know about my problems – she still knew. She always knew. Hotaru Imai was a genius. She knows everything. Her words held truth and cynicism– all together. Hence, regardless of her sarcastic words, behind those lies the truth – nothing else.
"Get your body moving to the shower and be ready in ten minutes," her voice, stoic but commanding.
"Hota -" She cut me off, not letting me speak my mind.
"See you at class, Mikan." And that's when she hanged up.
I sighed and put down my phone unto the table before I grabbed my towel and entered the bathroom. I didn't want to go to school today. I'm afraid to see Natsume. What if he still acts like that? What if he starts ignoring me for good? What if -
I don't want to even think about it. You may not think I'd be saying this. But, I believe it now. The words Luna spoke of when she found out I'm best friends with Natsume. I didn't know I had a desperate Luna Koizumi in me. Well, I bet everyone has a desperate side of them. So, I take back what I said about me having Koizumi's desperation running within my system. Definitely notgoing to happen.
Life's a bitch that drags the hell out of you in times of immense dejection.
Yeah. Seriously. Koizumi can make up quotes – in a bitchy way.
The corridors appeared vacant. There were only a few students sauntering towards their classes. My attention was caught by the landscape outside the windows. It was simply remarkable. The forest that stretched on endlessly as the sun's glorious rays shone upon it. Sighing, I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples. I was getting a headache. What a way to greet me good morning.
"Mikan-chan!"
I was immediately rooted to my spot, my eyes fluttered open. I know that voice anywhere I go. Misaki.I turned around and her lovely face greeted me. She was Misaki Harada – Year 2, Class B. Her short red hair framed her face, tracing its shape, and her well-shaped body stood in a perfect form – two inches tallerthan me.
"Misaki," I greeted her as I gave her a calm smile.
That's when I remembered a little bit of detail about her. When Misaki's there, Tsubasa Andou – the shit-head Hotaru called – will surely show up in no time. They were similar to thunder and lightning. Once Misaki rolls, Tsubasa will strike.
"Yo, Mikan!"
And, as a result, he did strike. I was unsure on what to do. Should I say hi? Or not? Hotaru said he was the one who told Natsume that I liked him. Was Hotaru wrong? But, she was nevermistaken.
"How are things with your 'Raven' guy?" he asked with a guiltless grin on his face. No, Hotaru could be wrong as well – there could be those times. She, too, is human.
I forced a smile on my face. This should be not bad. I should look like Hotaru never said a thing – bad thing – about Tsubasa. But being the typical Mikan I am, I was so easy to be read.
His smile fell from his face as his expression turned sour. "What happened, Mikan?"
"Nothing. I just –" I bit my lower lip, not knowing what to say. Should I tell him what happened? But, Hotaru might be right all along. My wavering gaze caught a glimpse of Tsubasa's straight and cold face. He was like a stationary statue in front of me. That was before Misaki rolled.
"Andouuuuuu! You dickhead! What did you do to, Mikan-chan?" Misaki bawled as she grabbed Tsubasa by the collar. For a girl, she sure is aggressive and brave. I couldn't deem that she was only a few months older than me since she was more mature – in the physical aspect. I hardly doubt the mental capacity though. Well, Hotaru calls us fated idiots. That must mean a thing or two, right?
I watched as Tsubasa struggled out of Misaki's grip on his collar. He was sweating – out of fear from Misaki's torturous ways. He may be the lightning in their partnership but thunder always comes first.
"I didn't do anything!" He raised both of his hands and shook his head, stressing that Misaki had mistaken. Tsubasa's hair was tossled and his eyes were expressing trepidation. And in a split second, his look had me laughing. I didn't know why I did. I was supposed to feel gloomy. It's like my problem was gone for only a moment. It sure was a good feeling to have.
But that was only for a second. My laughter died down as soon as I saw him at the far end of the hallway. His eyes met mine. It made a chill go up my spine. It wasn't a friendly look. I don't know why he's ignoring me but I need to talk this out with him. The question is - how?
"Mikan?"
"I'm okay, Tsubasa. See you when I see you guys."
I lied – again. For how long must I lie to people?
"I can't take this anymore!" I shouted. I buried my head in my hands. This is so damn frustrating! Why is he avoiding me? Why don't I have the guts to ask him... why?
"Mikan-chan, maybe... Hyuuga-san's a little bit depressed about something." I felt a pat on my back. I took a peek and saw my blue-haired friend Nonoko giving me a reassuring smile. But, that won't work. She doesn't even know what Natsume is like! She's never spoken to him! How could she know?
I just groaned even more. "Maybe, he's showing his true colors now. He must have been a real jerk. He just pretended," Sumire Shouda, my somewhat man-hater friend, said in a snappy tone. Well, she could be like that sometimes. But she's still a great friend to have.
"Oh come on. Natsume-kun isn't like that Sumire." I looked at who it was this time. Anna Umenomiya. She's defending Natsume from Sumire! What a sweet friend. Don't underestimate her. Her brain's size is the same with Hotaru's. It's just that Hotaru uses it in a more evil and scheming way.
"Really? Tell me. What did he do today to Mikan?" Sumire asked with a snort.
"He didn't speak to her." Can't they not shove it at my face? It hurts, you know. I'm not used to it yet. It's only been a day since he ignored me.
"What else?"
"He..." – Anna took a deep sigh and surrendered as Sumire stared at her with a smirk – "He refused Narumi-sensei's instruction of having him partnered to Mikan." Ouch. That hurt - a lot. Tears were starting to break through again. Why do I have to have these stupid emotions?
I looked at Hotaru who was quietly typing in her laptop and taking a sip of her drink once in a while. She seemed to be so untroubled. She doesn't have to hurt like this. She can hide her feelings well. I envy her for that.
"What?" She asked as she stopped fumbling with her keyboard, raising a brow at me.
"Nothing."
"Get your ass up and talk to Hyuuga," she stated as she looked over to the raven-haired lad situated about three tables across ours. He was with Ruka – as always. Mochu and Koko were there. And so is Tsubasa. They're the same group. But there's something wrong. He wasn't eating. He wasn't waving at me. He wasn't smiling nor laughing at Koko's jokes. Instead, he was glaring at Tsubasa. Why?
I gripped the table tightly, mustering up the courage to talk to him. As I looked again at their table, Tsubasa was waving at me with a grin on his face. Ruka gave me a half-smile. Mochu nodded his head while Koko playfully smirked at me. And, Natsume was gone.
My eyes travelled across the canteen and stopped at the door. The last thing I saw was his back exiting the room. And the pain hit me again. What was really wrong here?
I stared at the plate name on the door 'Natsume Hyuuga'. I lifted my hand up. Should I knock? Or not? I'm afraid to hear what he has to say. I'm afraid to get hurt – rejected. No, I'm not yet ready. I was about to walk away when the door opened, revealing a surprised Natsume in front of me.
I was rooted to my spot. What should I do now?His expression went from surprise to cold. I was befuddled. I parted my lips to speak but nothing came out. He stared at me with his tantalizing eyes. It was questioning me. I wanted to break into a fast sprint to my room but something kept me frozen.
"Mikan, is it true?" He asked. What was true? What is he talking about?
"What's true?" I asked, wanting to know what he meant. He didn't reply to what I said. Instead, he covered his face with his right hand and groaned inaudibly.
"Nevermind."
And that's when he shut the door close... with me still standing there. Can you believe that?
"Hyuuga did what?" Sumire asked practically wanting to break somebody's neck. The paper in her hand had been torn into half as she vented her anger unto it. Poor little paper. Sumire wasn't the only one who's angry at Natsume. When Nonoko heard my story, she shut her book in a loud bang while Anna just sat calmly like she didn't even hear a thing.
"Did he seriously shut the door? At your face?" She asked in a threatening tone. I nodded. The look on Nonoko's face was scary. It's the second time that I have seen her looking like that. The first time was when Yuu broke up with Hotaru. Really. Sumire and her kept calling Yuu names and been blabbing on ugly things they would do to him once they see him. Trust me you wouldn't want to know what things they were planning.
"I am so going to kill - "
"Nonoko, just shut up for a moment. Mikan's hurting here, alright?" Anna said. She turned her head to look at me. "What did that bastarddo again, Mikan-chan?" She said to me in a sweet voice but one word was emphasized with much loathing. Well, she may look like an angel sent from above but she's the one who plots the whole evil scheme once she's fed up.
"I'll repeat it for her. Natsume slammed the door loudly at Mikan," Nobara said. Nobara's a little bit exaggerated but she speaks the truth – most of the time. I sighed and looked at her. Her icy eyes told me she was thinking the exact same thing the other three were thinking of. Crazy friends.
"Thanks for repeating it to them, Nobara. But I'll make it clear. He didn't slam the door," – I glanced at her while she just shrugged, telling me it's the same thing – "he just shut it, not loudly but in a normal way."
"It's the similar thing, Mikan."
I looked at the raven-haired lass, sitting in front of a monitor screen as she continued typing on the keyboard. Well, it's her dorm room anyways so I can't complain if she's not listening to me earlier and not commenting. I might get shot by her baka gun if I do.
"But, Hotaru, slamming is a violent term and Natsume isn't a violent person."
"Really? That guy looks violent to me. He passes that category"
"Hotaru, you know him well enough."
"Mikan, I'm not his best friend," she stood up and walked over to us. She sat down the place beside Sumire and spoke again. "You are." She pointed at me. "I told you already why he's acting like that. It's because of Andou."
"Andou?" Sumire raised a brow. "That guy who follows Misaki like a lost puppy?"
"Yes," Hotaru replied.
"Speaking of Tsubasa-kun, I saw him the other day," Nonoko said as she put a hand on her chin. It was a stupid answer. Of course she would see him! She's his classmate!
"We're Andou-kun's classmate.Thanks for stating the obvious.Jeez. I want to puke at the sight of that happy fool," Nobara said as her face showed disgust. She's also from Class B just like Nonoko.
Nonoko shook her head as her brows met. "No. That's not what I meant. I saw him the other day. He was talking to," she paused and her eyes met mine. "To Hyuuga."
"Told you," Hotaru said as she had this bored expression.
"So, it's true? Hotaru's words were true? He did tell him?" I was confused. I wanted to cry. He betrayed me – as a friend. How could he?
"Ask him, idiot. Why are you asking us?" Hotaru said.
"Mikan?"
Here I was, standing in front of Tsubasa Andou, ready to ask him if it was true. I didn't get enough sleep for two days now. Really. This whole Natsume's-ignoring-me thing is getting way out of hand. I need to make this all clear. I need to get this out of me. Or else I'd go crazy. I think I am already.
"Tsubasa, did you - " He cut me off. What good manners people have nowadays.
"HEY! I've wanted to ask you. What's Natsume's problem with me? I didn't do anything did I? " He asked. I was taken aback. Why would he ask me something like that when he's the one who caused this?
"I wanted to ask you too. Why is Natsume acting odd? He's completely avoiding me." His face expressed confusion as his brows scrunched.
"Avoiding you?"
"Yes."
"That's unlikely of him," he said and offered to enter his room which I gladly accepted. The wall was colored in dark blue with patches of stars here and there. He always had a thing for stars. That explains his star tattoo on the cheek. His bed was placed at the left side of the room; the study table was located near the window. He offered me to sit on one of the bean bag chairs scattered on the floor.
"May I ask you?" I said and looked at him hopefully. He nodded and smiled. "Have you said anything to Natsume about our secret? You know," – I shrugged at him, hoping he got what I meant – "Raven guy thing?" His smile disappeared. He stood up from his seat and walked over to the side table. He was searching for something. What could it be?
Finally, he stopped, walked over to me and sat down again. He stretched out his hand. On it was a keychain with a blue star attached to it. I glanced up at him. "Take it. I wanted to give this to you."
I picked it up and stared at it. Is he trying to avoid my question? I kept it inside my pocket and then fixed my eyes on him. "Tsubasa Andou, are you avoidingmy question?" I asked with a sour tone.
"Avoiding? No! No! I'm not. I just remembered the key chain. I might forget it if I didn't give it to you now." He smiled and scratched his head. Really? This guy is the one who told Natsume?Can't be. "I didn't tell him. I promise," he told me with a grin.
"Can I trust your word?"
"Yes."
I didn't know. I wanted to believe him. But something told me he was lying. Those innocent smiles and actions felt false to me – that it wasn't genuine. I had no other choice right now. I needed to believe him and get some rest. Yes, believe him – even if it's hard to, I must.
It's been 14 days since my last update and I planned to post this second chapter earlier.
But due to the hellish homeworks, I needed to delay it.
OHO! Do you think this chapter's good?
LOL. I think it was... .
Please do review and correct me on my mistakes.
I would very much appreciate that.
Why Hello There, Eril 3:):Don't worry, dude. I won't keep my readers hanging. :))
Pathetic Rainbow:Sure thing. The ending? Well, I'm still thinking how I will end it so let's find it out together. XD
Krizka_fierce:HAHA. You can imagine it now. Really. You were too sweet last Wednesday.
Radiantxshadows:It's because he found out that Mikan likes him more than best friends. :)
Acrianz:thanks for the corrections. It did help me. Thanks for liking that line! I was laughing my guts out when I read it all over again.
And Luna is desperate. XD Really. Desperate bitch here. XD Thanks for reviewing, sempai! You've got long reviews there.
l3va & WhiteMoon1: Thanks. :D Sure thing.
21 February 2010
11:47 PM
(:nineprincess:)