CHAPTER 3: I WAS DREAMING
It was blue – my favourite color next to orange, that is. It shimmered under my desk lamp, almost blinding me but I can't stop wondering what it meant. I held it safe in my hands and put it back in my drawer. Yes, it was a key chain - a key chain with some sort of meaning that I can't seem to make sense of.
"What the hell am I doing?" I asked myself. Talking to your self is a thing for crazy people – plain crazy. But, sometimes, it helps me think more clearly.
Thud. I let my body weight rest on the bed. I was too tired. Tired of everything – school, friends' rantings, Tsubasa's hoax, Misaki's endless Tsubasa-torture, Natsume, Natsume and more Natsume. Before I fell asleep, the last thing on my mind was, still, Natsume Hyuuga – that bastard of a best friend.
"Mikan?"
Crimson orbs met me when I looked up. My heart started to throb loudly inside my chest. I thought he was mad at me. Why is he talking to me now? He smiled, showing his sparkly white teeth and offered me his left hand to stand. I stared at his hand, welcoming me once again. Oh how I wanted this day to come!
I reached out my hand to touch his. However, he vanished into thin air, leaving no trace of life behind. Even his scent was taken away when he disappeared. Alone – I was. I was alone in a black hole where no one can get to me. Not even Hotaru, Ruka or any of my other friends.
Tears started to make way out of my eyes as I hugged my knees closer. This was a world where I wasn't meant to live in. It has always been this cruel to me. Why? I had asked the same question over and over again but no one – nothing answers it.
I didn't know why. But, I did scream. I was breathing roughly as tears continued to flow down my cheeks. My vision was blurry but I could tell I was back in my room. So, it was a dream – just a dream? That's really funny. It made me cry. A dream made me cry.
"Stupid dreams." I looked up, sniffed and wiped my tears. "Why do you always get me, dream-san?" It's stupid that I talk to myself and address someone dream-san that doesn't even exist. But, it's kind of consoling on my part. Having someone who understands me. That was all I ever wanted.
I shielded my eyes when light suddenly hit my eyes. "Hey, who opened the -"
"Hotaru? What are you doing here?" I was surprised to see her in my room. She must have seen it – me crying like an idiot and talking to someone.
I tried smiling but it seems to have no effect on her. She was standing there like a rock looking at me with a blank serious face. "Oho! I had a nightmare about bats and it scared me to death." I glanced at her, hoping she would believe me.
"Idiot, bats don't scare you. You even told me once that they are cute," she bitterly snapped at me. She sighed and proceeded to sit down on one of the chairs. I was in trouble. What would I do? I can't lie to her now.
"Don't lie now, Mikan. It's Hyuuga, isn't it?" Okay. She got me. Could she be dream-san? I hardly doubt that. But, she passes the field. She knew all about me - my past, present or even future. She was my best friend after all – the real one.
"N-No, Hotaru," I replied nervously. I know this won't work on her and that she will get the truth out of me sooner or later.
"Fine. If you say so." She stood up. Her footsteps were unhurried. She was thinking. I knew it. But, why won't she ask me about it?
"Mikan, go take a bath. I'll wait for you in class." With that, she disappeared as the door came to a shut.
Luckily, that was over. I would break down if she continues to ask.
"Love is a wonderful thing, do you agree with me?" Narumi-sensei asked as most of the students responded with a nod. Sure, it's wonderful – at the beginning. After hearing that sentence, I decided to block my ears. Of all topics to be discussing during English time, it was the thing I started to hate the most.
Why couldn't the topic be like creating persuasive sentences or adverbs or anything educational? I was ready for that. But, this was just sick. I looked at my right and saw Hotaru uttering words that were probably curses. I wasn't the only one who doesn't like this topic even the school genius blackmailer too.
One word, one person to reason out Hotaru's disgust at love – Yuu Tobita or Inchou. I can't believe that the years they spent together being best of friends and then becoming lovers had come to waste. Inchou moved to the Unites States a year ago and that was when the problem emerged. And the reason was another girl. Well, Inchou frankly said that there was someone else the last time they talked. He broke up with Hotaru through a telephone conversation. Really. How sick of him, right?
But, lately, Hotaru had been blackmailing Ruka-pyon. Speaking of Ruka-pyon, he seemed to be a lot interested in the topic Narumi-sensei had been discussing for he was happily taking down notes.
"Let's see..." I tore a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote on it.
I placed the note on top of Hotaru's table. She looked at me with a blank face which I returned with a smile. Looking at her as she read the note, her lips twitched a bit in a manner that seemed to be of irritation. I grinned evilly as I returned my gaze in front and went on with my act of pretending to listen to Narumi-sensei.
"When will this period end?" I whispered as I sulked in my seat. All of a sudden, I felt a chill run down my spine. That could only mean one thing. Natsume was looking at me. I glanced at my left and what I saw made me want to run away. He was discreetly watching me. He really hates me, huh?
My emotions started to take over me once more. I can't sit here like yesterday and humiliate myself over and over again. I need to get out of here. In a split second, I raised my hand and shouted, "Narumi-sensei! I need to go to the clinic! I'm not feeling very well." I felt all eyes on me. A lump was forming in my throat. This is so awkward.
Narumi-sensei stopped writing on the board and looked at me, worriedly. "Of course, you can. I hope you'll be fine," he said.
I stood up, stuffed my books and pens inside my bag, and uneasily went out the room with my bag slung on one of my shoulders. At that time, I felt everyone's eyes on me - each step I took. Most of their stares felt of concern but two seemed to be of suspicion. I knew perfectly who those two were – Hotaru and Natsume.
"Mikan, you aren't sick at all."
"But, Miss Mio, I am! My head hurts!" I said as I laid down the bed pretending to be having a major headache. The woman in front of me had her hands on her waist as she eyed me. She was absolutely not falling for my act.
"Mikan, don't you pretend. I'm not an old woman to not know that you're just pretending." She spun around in her heels and proceeded to sit down on her office chair. This is so vexing. Do I need to explain what's happening? Where's my fairy godmother when I need one?
I sighed helplessly as I sat up, put on my shoes and looked at her. "I didn't like the"- She raised the cup of coffee and took a sip-"atmosphere inside the classroom earlier." If not for him, I wouldn't have to lie.
"Why so?" She asked, setting down the cup on the table.
"It's hard to... explain. It's just things are not like what it used to be."
"I see," she propped her arm on top of the table and smiled at me. "Is it Natsume, dear?"
I felt being grilled and flipped for a hundred times. Miss Mio's such a mind reader! How did she know? And my freaking heart won't stop accelerating its speed as she asked questions that were more like statements of what's going on with me.
The corridor's pretty quiet. It's lunch time after all. Everybody must be happily chatting in the cafeteria now. I think I can have some peaceful time here. I turned around a corner and my feet stopped as soon as I heard that ever familiar voice.
"Girls, have you seen?"
"Seen what, Luna?"
My back was pinned to the wall. No matter how much I want to get away fast, my feet wouldn't move as I command. It's like there's some sort of force that's keeping me there. Half of me wanted to know what the bitch has seen but half of me tells me I already know it.
I heard an indistinct laugh escape from her lips. "That Sakura and Natsume-sama." The instant I heard that I wanted to sprint out of where I am.
"Yeah, they've been ignoring each other for days."
"You know what that means?"
I didn't want to hear more of this. It's too much for me to hear. In one split of a second, I took a step backwards, turned around hesitantly and walked towards the direction of the cafeteria.
"The bitch is no longer in the way of me and Natsume-sama."
I quietly slipped in the seat beside Hotaru. The chattering died out and i felt my friend's profound stares on me. I slowly lifted my head and my eyes came in contact with Sumire whose right eyebrow was raised, a look that says I need to explain something.
I forced a genial smile which apparently didn't work on them.
"Mikan."
I turned my head to my left and Hotaru's blank face greeted me. She stopped typing in her laptop. She closed the cover quietly as I felt the pressure emitting from my friends. I had been grilled by Miss Mio earlier and now I'm gonna get roasted for sure.
"Were you really sick?"
"W-Why , yes, Hotaru."
She took away her gaze from me. I was sure she looked at Sumire who just nodded at her. I hate it when the two of them do that. They're practically trying to kill me with this kind of atmosphere.
"Then, why are you stuttering?" This time it was Sumire who questioned me and it wasn't very nice. It was as if she was sneering at her enemy. Well, Sumire has this menacing tendency of having you want to crawl out of your place.
"I-I-I w-as?"
A sigh escaped from Nonoko's lips and made me look at her. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. I waited for her to speak; however, she didn't. She just nudged Anna who bit her own lower lip. When she didn't say anything, Nonoko nudged her again. Anna, as helpless as she is, just groaned and finally spoke.
"Mikan, don't lie. When you get sick, you don't even come back for lunch. You're sent straight to your room. And, you'll stay sick for two days," Anna finished off in one breath. All of that was true. They know me too well.
"Hyuuga," – my eyes were instantly glued to who spoke – "It's that goddamn Hyuuga again, isn't it?" Sumire scoffed with much rancour. I can't deny it though. I started to break down like this when he started ignoring me because of an unknown reason that Hotaru claims to be that Tsubasa told Natsume about me liking him, which is utterly unbelievable in my case.
"God damn right," Nobara stated in agreement to what Sumire just said. She flipped her hair in irritation at the sudden mention of Natsume's name.
This conversation was getting way too serious. This thing happens whenever my friends get too worried for someone. And in this case, that someone was me. Even Anna who usually keeps quiet and calm about things suddenly speaks with this vague feeling that she is blaming all these on Natsume.
"Stop it," I said as they all looked at me.
"Stop? Why, Mikan?" Nonoko started as she pointed at the table at the far end. "HE IS the one who made you like this! And do you know how painful it is for us to see you suffer because of some JERK who... who isn't worth all your tears?" Her temper broke loose. Nonoko wasn't like this. She wasn't. Did I appear that vulnerable to them? Did I?
"Everyone, enough of this."
Hotaru had stopped the eerie tension building up. She had stopped everyone from losing their tempers. She had that talent to do so. And sometimes, I envy her for this. I was vulnerable. A fragile thing that they always have to protect so I wouldn't break into pieces. They were always there to knock me back to my senses and introduce me to what I they call beauty of life. They were my friends. Yes, they were. "Stop it. Mikan's gonna get hurt even more if you continue."
The awkward dinner was finished. All of my friends were unusually quiet and avoided any topic that could bring up the subject to who they call bastard. I'm walking back to my room to spend some peaceful time for myself. I walked two flight of stairs and I was greeted by a familiar figure leaning on the wall with his head down and his hands inside his front pockets.
"Tsubasa?"
"Oh" – He lifted his head and gave me a smile.- "Mikan, I just wanted to ask you something."
I started walking with him beside me. The hallway was eerily quiet. It should be a little bit noisy right now for it's just past dinner. I heard Tsubasa murmur my name but I ignored it and asked, "Isn't it a little too silent in here, Tsubasa?"
"What?- Oh? Ah... yes, somewhat," he replied awkwardly. Something was weird. And I don't like it.
"What could they be doing? Where could they be? How come they a-" I was cut short when, suddenly, a hand pulled me and made me spin around. My eyes closed shut and I felt Tsubasa's arms wrapped around me. He was hugging me. And it was really uncomfortable. I was about to push him away but what I saw, when I opened my eyes, made me weak all over.
Natsume was there, standing a few meters away from us, with an expression I could make out as surprised and confused.
It's been two months since I updated. I got busy with school.
And then, I had an author's block for quite a long time.
I'm glad I was able to finish this chapter.
I promise that I would not do this again.
Please do review.
Xxdarkness-angelxX: He is somewhat in between good and bad.
Acrianz: Hahaha, I just based the friends' part on my own friends. XD Lol.
And I found it similar to what we do everyday.I'll not say any spoilers in here, Mae-sempai. XD :))
thanks for a long review again! :D
zagogay: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my fic.
Oh! thanks for the advice too. I'll keep that in mind.
XxDemonic-AngeloO: Thank you. ^^
krizka fierce: Hahaha. YES you were sweet. But, not anymore. He's bad. Really bad.
aNimeLover-chAn05: It's okay. :)) Hotaru and Ruka... I'm planning to pair them up here. :D
Ruka is closer to Natsume. Ruka and him became friends since they were little
while Mikan just entered the scene during 5th grade.
mangalover128: :)
22 April 2010
8:05 PM
(:nineprincess:)