CHAPTER 4: TAKING OUT MY FRUSTRATIONS
Natsume spun around, walking towards the other direction. I wanted to run to him and explain that he is misunderstanding the whole scene - even if I can't clarify why the hell Tsubasa suddenly hugged me in midsentence.
I tried to break free from Tsubasa. But the more I did, the more he tightens his grasp on me. He was too strong. I watched as Natsume vanished into the end of the hallway – with me still trying to get away. And then, it hit me – hard.
He hates you.
My arms fell to my sides. I give up already. It pains me to hear my own thoughts – telling me what I never wanted to hear... from myself... from anyone.
Move on.
Those two words were the best choice for me. However, I can't seem to take the first step – of forgetting all of this nonsense. After a few seconds of deep thinking, I was startled. Tsubasa slowly let go of me. I met his gaze. His eyes expressed grief that seemed to hide a lot of questions.
"Tsu..basa-kun, are...are.. you... alright?" I asked in a soft whisper.
"...Maybe... I'm not so sure of it myself," he answered, turning his back to me.
"What happened?" I asked, concern growing in me.
"...It's...nothing," He said and walked away, leaving me alone in the silent comforts of the hallway.
Tick.
Tock.
The questionnaire's words were swirling in front of me. I tried to decipher the information on it but nothing comes in my already-jammed-up head. On the other hand, the answer sheet looked like an excellent piece of clean paper I can emit all my troubles unto. But, that seemed like a bad idea.
I didn't get to study that much than before. No matter how much I plead to Hotaru to teach me, she wouldn't. She was such an obdurate person. Her heart's as cold as it could be. Being Hotaru Imai, she only said one thing to me whenever I ask her to teach me.
"You're not ready to be tormented by me. Fix yourself first."
I know what she meant. I still got a shattered heart to deal with. Second is to fix this whacked brain of mine that can't store even a small amount of information from the books and lessons I've read and heard. Anna and Nonoko were still there to tutor me. The only problem is that they're both away for this science convention stuff.
Now, I'm totally...screwed.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
There was a sound of a pencil breaking at my left. It was like an automatic response. I looked when I tried hard to ignore him for weeks. And was the result of a sudden noise that isn't even that important to be bothered about during a test.
Natsume.
It wasn't the pencil's lead breaking. It was the pencil splitting in half. This was pretty odd. Whenever he takes an exam, he usually speeds his way to the last blank on the answer sheet, turn it down, and sleep to his heart's content.
My whole body seemed to freeze. It's been awhile since I got to look at those gorgeous crimson eyes catches everyone's interest. I know that I must've looked pretty stupid to him. He was glowering and I just had to return him a wide-shocked look.
"Natsume, here is a spare pencil."
Ruka-pyon was at it again, providing Natsume what he needs. People might consider that I have a major damage in the brain but I see little things like this rather eccentric. Why would a guy help the egotistical Natsume Hyuuga? Even if it was Ruka-pyon... even if you say that they've been together since they were babies.
It just ain't right.
After tough and brutal exams, nothing beats food as a stress reliever. Just one bite out of this cheeseburger deluxe is enough for me to reach extreme satisfaction.
Just one bite.
Just one bite.
"Is it just me or is Hyuuga acting all odd?" Hotaru quirked a brow at me.
But, I guess, appetites do get ruined by repugnant questions.
A snigger erupted from Nobara. "Hyuuga has always been weird, Hotaru. And, you know that."
I inched the burger below my jaw and gazed at my friends who were talking about a certain I'll-ignore-you-forever-because-you-are-one-of-those-bitches-who's-crazy-over-me guy. Seriously, they are my friends, right? If so, why are they talking about the 'forbidden name'? Or was it just me who thought it was like that?
"- totally get why Luna, the bitch, goes after -"
Block hateful words.
Block them.
"-jerk-face who disregards our dear Mikan does not have the right to -"
Vein pops...
"I so want to hit Hyuuga's eyes with my sharp-pointed darts. That way he'll go totally blind."
...temper grows short...
"You two are seriously whackos. I can't believe that Anna and Nonoko left me with two people who need to know how to handle their anger management issues," Hotaru stated as she took a sip of her apple juice.
...explodes!
"Don't you guys know what the word 'eating' is?" I shouted, slamming my burger back on the plate which cracked as I did so. I stood up, placed my hands on the table. Sumire and Nobara blinked their eyes repeatedly, shocked by my sudden outrage. On the other hand, Hotaru took another sip from her juice.
"...I guess that makes three whackos," she said in a stoic tone, placing down her drink, and crossing her arms over her chest as she moved her attention to me.
It was already too much – too much. They are so getting on my nerves. Every word that comes out of their mouths was like a sharp shuriken directed at me. I'm so fucking pissed off.
"UGH! You guys ruined my appetite alright?"
I whirred around, fists clenched, eyes watery and who knows what else I did or looked like. The chatters died down as I felt all attention diverted to me. Damn gossipers, they should just get lost and get a life.
"Lost her appetite?" There was shock present in Nobara's tone. "What happened to her?"
"Must be PMS," Sumire answered.
"But, Mikan... losing... her... appetite... is... so..."
"Unbelievable? Well, yeah, it is."
"Do you think tha-"
I stormed off towards the exit. I need not to hear more of their senseless blabber about me – this time. Tsubasa was coming my way. I do not know what he wanted to do. I can't deal with him now - him who didn't even explain why he hugged me that day.
As I was about to reach for the handle, someone opened the other door. Just like what any normal person would do, I looked at the person who did. When I saw who it was, I thought of how rotten my luck really was. It was no other than that guy who made me like this. And, he was looking at me.
Don't cry, Mikan.
A tear slid down face. And that was it – the cue.
I pushed the door open and ran for it. The wind brushing against my skin felt good. My pigtails loosened and, soon enough, the rubber band snapped. I don't care if anyone sees me like this.
I ran, not knowing where I was going. My vision got blurry as tears welled up in my eyes. I was crying. Again. My knees wobbled and I fell to the ground.
"FUCKING WORLD!" I screamed and punched the ground. An unfamiliar pain shot through my arm. I held unto it as I slump my back against the tree's trunk. Tears flowed like a river down my face. My hand was stinging and blood was dripping from the gash.
I had always believed in happy endings...
"Fairytales? They're not real, you dope-head."
"They are real! Someday I'll get my own knight on a white horse, Natsume-kun. And, you're gonna be left on the sidelines watching as he saves me."
...he had crushed my hopes of fairytales existing...
"Do you believe in love?"
"Who cares? People will die anyways."
... he was the one to break my heart...
"You should smile, Polka. You look like you have been deprived of happiness."
"Why should I smile?"
"For me? Can't you at least do that?"
...yet, he was the one who made it whole again.
"You're a Greek statue! You shouldn't speak!"
"Well, then, that makes you a stupendously dim-witted for you talk to an effigy."
He has insulted me many times. But, never did I complain.
"Do you love your father, Natsume-kun?"
"No. Fathers are those who leave their children behind, aren't they?"
"My father's not like that!"
He was right. Every little thing he said was true. My father did leave me and my mom, frightened and unaided. He left us when he said that I need to wait for him to return. He did return – cold, burned and lifeless.
"Natsume-kun! Do you believe in fairies?"
Pink petals? I looked up. "Sakura tree?" I slurred. What kind of coincidence was this? Just when I was feeling good. I just had to take comfort under the tree that watched our friendship blossom.
"Natsume! Why did you do that?"
Now, this tree watched how the friendship we built over those five years, wilt in the end.
"Smile, you Greek statue!"
"Are you happy now, you damn tree?" I shouted crossly with ignominy. "Friendship's over! You might... as... well... wither... and... die."
With that, blackness overpowered me.
"She...here..."
Isn't that Ruka-pyon's voice? What is he doing here? I tried to stand up but my body was throbbing with pain. I tried to open my eyes. However, I was too weak - too feeble.
"Natsume...did...know...she...be..."
Natsume's here? Why are they're voices so far-flung? I can't understand a single thing.
"Let's...take...clinic..."
I felt strong arms picking me up from the comforts of the ground. It was overly familiar to me. I wanted to see if I was not mistaken. I must open my eyes. I must take a look. The more I struggled, the harder it becomes. I was succumbed to darkness. My eyes won't take my command. Soon enough, I had no choice but to give up.
"Mikan?"
"Mikan?"
"Are you awake?"
My eyes shot open. Nonoko's face came into view. She looked pretty anxious. Was I that badly injured? I sat up and saw my right hand wrapped in bandages. "Why am I in the clinic? Did..."
"So ,the idiot's awake," Hotaru's voice bellowed.
Idiot? I sighed and gave Nonoko a condemned look. "Who brought me here?" I ignored Hotaru who called me an idiot. How dare she? She should apologize first. After all, she should have stopped Sumire and Nobara from saying such morbid things about Natsume. In that way, I wouldn't be sitting here with a bandage on the hand. Though, I think the wound was my fault.
Nonoko's gaze fell on the floor. She wouldn't answer me. Could it really be Natsume who carried me here? But, why would he do that? In the middle of my thoughts, Hotaru came in. Her face contained no emotions just like she always looked like. "Hey, Mikan, why the hell did you punch the ground?" She deadpanned.
I wanted to hiss at her. But, I will get another nickname from her if I did. Idiot's already too much to take in for almost my whole life. I'm not that dumb you know. I am just one of those unfortunate humans who aren't gifted with the talent to comprehend things fast. But, I do learn. "Are you just here to lecture me, Hotaru?" I retorted, quelling the irritation forming inside me,
There was a moment of silence – awkward silence. Hotaru heaved a heavy groan and turned around. Her back was facing me. I heard her mumble incoherent curses before she spoke again. "Okay, Mikan. I'll say this once... Sorry." This was shocking. Hotaru's apologizing? It's nice to know that my other best friend is human.
"Apology accepted, Hotaru. Now, where are Sumire and Nobara?" I asked, looking around the room. I saw Hotaru's face changed expressions. She looked like she had been defeated. See, Hotaru, it's that easy to say sorry.
My attention then fell on Nonoko. "How about Anna?" She gave me a smile, followed by a giggle.
"You totally forgot didn't you?" Hotaru slapped her forehead and shook her head.
"Forgot what?" I asked, completely oblivious to what they are saying. They could say it to me straightforwardly, right? Not ask questions about forgetting what they meant.
Nonoko gave out another giggle and placed her hand over mine. Her eyes sparkled with glee and that was something I knew of. It was... "Today's the start of spring break! They got fetched already. You were unconscious for almost six hours now." Yes, it was spring break. A time we can finally go back to our homes and experience a bundle of family time. This was the best reward any child could get after tormenting tests. And I just lost six hours of it, knocked out cold inside the clinic.
"Seriously!"
"I think you hit your head way too hard," Hotaru concluded.
I got out of the clinic. Hotaru bid goodbye for her parents were already outside waiting. On the other hand, Nonoko accompanied me to get my things in my room. As we walked, we talked about several things. She told of how freaked out Sumire and Nobara were when they saw me unconscious. She said that they were pacing around the clinic, feeling that it was all their fault. She also let me hear Sumire's apology that was recorded earlier.
"Mikan, I know you hate me. Forgive me! Please! I don't want you to get mad at me and Nobara. That would be so heartbreaking on my part. But, I definitely don't take back saying that Hyuuga IS a big JERK. Can you possibly have a little piece of love for me? Forgive me, Mikan."
"HEY! Hotaru! Get this to Mikan! I want to hear her reply! ASAP! OKAY?"
"Idiot, it's still recording."
"It is? OH SHIT! Turn it off! Turn it off! Ho-"
We both laughed at how Sumire sounded in the tape. I bet she was really worried about me. We finally arrived in my room. I got my luggage, tried to hold it in my hand but it slipped out later on. Nonoko carried it for me for my hand was injured. Even though I insisted that I could carry it with my left hand, she didn't allow me to.
"Hey, Nonoko, when will Nobara call to apologize?" I asked as we walked towards the stairs.
"She said that she'll call around nine in the evening when she reaches her house," She answered, struggling with my luggage. It must be really heavy for her. If my right hand wasn't injured at all, I could carry it together with her.
We walked down to the flight of stairs. When we reached the ground floor, we made our way towards the entrance where our families were waiting for us. We talked about her science convention with Anna. She told me that she almost made an explosion by mixing the wrong chemicals. Luckily, Anna was there to tell her not to put it in. She told of how nerdy the people there were. Nonoko has always been a chatterbox. But, she's only this talkative with her close friends.
"That's funny. Oh! I remember! Who carried me to the clinic? I want to know if I heard wrong," I questioned her. She suddenly stops in her tracks as her smile disappeared.
"It was..."
Suddenly, two pairs of footsteps slowly approached from behind us. Nonoko and I turned our heads around to look at the two. My eyes almost fell from my sockets. It was 'forbidden name' and Ruka-pyon. Natsume, who had his right hand behind his head, put it down to his side and stopped walking, and stared at us. Ruka, on the other hand, gave me and Nonoko a small smile and wave. I returned it with a diminutive grin as well while Nonoko bowed her head formally.
"So, are you alright, Mikan-chan?" Ruka asked as he patted his pet Usagi's head. Usagi's a small white rabbit that he always carries around. Ruka-pyon was the one for animals. I bet he has his own zoo at home. I heard him once talking about his pet snake. I wonder what he feeds it with.
"I think so," I replied, raising my right hand with the bandage, indicating that I was sort of injured. Then, I found myself staring at Natsume who was, surprisingly, looking at me. He seemed concerned. But, he could be not. After all, I was always wrong especially when it comes to him.
"Let's go, Ruka," Natsume ordered, walking ahead, ignoring me and Nonoko. Ruka nodded his head towards us and sauntered off to follow Natsume. They passed by us with our eyes following their every move. What could've happened to the Natsume who I knew back then? Several theories came into my head. Could it be that his mother died? Or is it that his sister did? Or did his grandpa force anything he does not like on him again? There were endless possibilities. However, I doubt any of them was accurate.
And then, I was startled by Nonoko. "How did you befriend such a rude guy, Mikan?" Nonoko asked, a repulsive expression shown on her face. She pulled me by my left hand as she held my luggage in the other hand. "Did my luggage get lighter? You're carrying it like its feather," I stated, completely surprised.
"It's just that obnoxious persons add fuel to my blazing, crackling fire," Nonoko stated with much animosity.
I, then, averted my attention to her. And what I saw made me shiver. Her eyes were like scorching with anger. And it didn't look good. How could a sweet girl like Nonoko emit such an evil aura like Sumire and Hotaru? I don't think I should be so shocked about it. Even Anna has her moments of evilness and so is Nobara.
Sorry for making Mikan into an emo person. :)))))))
I promise that the nest chapter she'll recover her cheerfulness.
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2 JUNE 2010
3:58 PM
(: nineprincess :)