Save Me From a Bottle

Merlin sat by the edge of the lake for hours, long after the boat vanished from sight. The tears had finally stopped, leaving trails on his pale skin. His body shook slightly with every breath and only one thought pierced his brain, seeping into his very existence. He had failed. He had failed his King, his friend, his destiny. He had nothing left to live for, it was all gone. He felt his breath push past his lips one more time before he stood on shaking legs. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was surprised they didn't give way beneath him. Give way and send him tumbling into the water head first where he would stay, not having the strength to leave the lake, but he knew he would be back.

-Three Years Later-

Merlin never went back to Camelot, never saw his friends or family again. Instead, he ended up moving from town to town, kingdom to kingdom. He spent his nights in taverns, trying to forget, and his days on the road, trying to run away. He would hear about Camelot, every once in a while. He heard about Gwaine's death, the Queen's removal of the ban on magic, and how some were still looking for their missing warlock. This gave him more reason to never go back. How could they forgive him if he could never do that himself? It felt wrong. He thought back to that first night, how he could barely breath, barely stand, barely survive. That night he tried to end it all, but Destiny refused his pathetic begging. All he was left with was another scar. And another. And another. And another. So he found a way to dull the pain, at least for a few hours at a time. Now he was just numb.

He looked up as the door opened to the tavern, a nervous habit he had picked up. He didn't know what he expected to find, but he still looked every time it opened. He was sat in the far corner, but he could still see the long, black hair and sparkling blue eyes of the young woman that walked in. He usually ignored the women in the taverns, but she was different. Her hair was wavy, like it had just been pulled out of a braid it had been in for hours. Her eyes roamed the room with a determination not even some of the knights' had. Her lips were in a slight frown, making her remind him of Arthur when he was not please with something his servant did. Her dress, covered by a long cloak, looked like something Morgana would have worn outside of the castle. But that's not what caused him to pay more attention, it was her two companions. Leon and Percival stood at her side, looking right at him. He blinked, wondering if he was seeing things or if the drink had finally gotten to him. Why would two knights of Camelot be in a tavern in the kingdom of his childhood home? But they were really there, he knew they were real as the three walked towards him.

"Merlin," Leon breathed out the word like he had been holding onto it for a lifetime ad finally got to rid himself of the heavy burden. The older knight's hair had begun it's transition into gray, lines forming in his face, but his eyes were the same. Percival, on the other hand, looked exactly the same. He gave them a sad smile and looked down at his drink.

"Merlin, where have you been?" He looked up at Percival before sighing. Instead of answering, he said the first thing that he could think of. "How did you find me?"

The girl cleared her throat, gaining all three men's attention. "Hello, Merlin, I'm Yarrow, the Court Sorceress. I tracked you here, at Gwen's request. She said that you have had enough time to yourself and it is time to come back home. Everyone in Camelot needs you, Gaius and Gwen need you." Merlin looked at her, maintaining eye contact as she spoke. Then he shook his head. He couldn't, wouldn't, go back to Camelot. It hurt too much.

"Come on, Merlin. We've all had to deal with his death, and with your absence. Camelot isn't the same without you or Arthur. Please come back. Gaius is sick and he wants to see you if he doesn't make it. Gwen has had to rule the kingdom alone. We all need you now," Leon spoke up again, holding his hand out to the warlock. Merlin knew he had no choice, they would keep looking for him if he left. Hesitating, he reached up and took Leon's hand and stood up. The trio smiled as they left the tavern, beginning their trip back to Camelot.

-Two Days Later-

The four people road up to the gates of Camelot and Merlin couldn't help but smile, the first time in years. It looked the same as remembered it. Except for the people using magic in the town as they rode through, that was new. A few of the people looed at them in awe, some pointed at him and smiled. They knew. He knew they knew, why were they so happy?As the approached the castle and hade the horse's over to the stable hand, Guinevere appeared at the entrance and ran down the steps, crashing into Merlin. She hugged her best friend for a good five minutes, only letting him go when he said that he couldn't breath. "Merlin, don't ever do that again! I was so worried about you!"

"Trust me Gwen, I think I'm home for good. As long as you promise to not cut of my oxygen supply, that is." Merlin saw his friends faces light up at his reply, even Yarrow couldn't resist a small smirk. ne their trip back, Merlin and Yarrow had shared a few stories, mostly about where he had been, but he found out quite a bit about Camelot's newest Court member. He found out that she lived at a druid camp since her 14th summer, having only left once magic was legal again and Isledir sent her to Gwen because she was the best magic user in the camp and would make a great Court Sorceress. She was also around his age, maybe a year or two younger, and a real animal lover. He felt free to be himself around her.

A few minutes later, Merlin was sitting by Gaius' bedside, talking with his mentor. The man looked bad and it made Merlin feel even worse. He wasn't there for the man who treated him like a son, he only thought about himself. But the two talked for hours, late into the night until they both fell asleep. He hadn't had a drink in three days. When he woke, Gaius' breathing was shallow, but the stubborn man was still holding on. Merlin rushed to look through the books of medicine and magic, determined to save him. A few hours later, one of the knight's found him crying in a corner, staring at Gaius' now still body. The funeral was held later that day. Merlin fell into a liquor induced sleep each night, trying to hide the pain.

-3 months later-

People had noticed, for a while now, that the warlock wasn't okay. they had noticed his sad expressions, his slight drunkenness and hangovers, his bill at the tavern. This wasn't healthy. all of his old friends had tried to help him but he wouldn't let them. Finally, Yarrow had had enough. It was late in the evening after Merlin's worst day yet when she marched down to his room and grabbed the almost empty bottle from his had. "You need to stop, Merlin. This is unhealthy and you'll get yourself killed, you idiot!"

He stared blankly at the bottle in her hand, wanting her to eave him alone t his suffering. " I-I din't ask ya for halp. I'm fiiinne. Ju-... just leave me aloone."

The witch frowned at him, then made to bottle disappear from her hand. She crouched down to look him in the eye. "Let me help you, Merlin. Please, just let me help." With those words, she helped him to his bed. As she helped him lay down, she heard him whisper something that made her smile. Yes, he would help he get better. They would get through this, together.

A/N: Hello all, I'm back. Has it really been over a year? Oops. Well, I hope you like my first one shot. What did you think of my OC? Also, do you want me to write a second part? It would probably be the aftermath. Also, sorry about the character death thing. It helped move the story along. And, it is written like this because I didn't have all the time in the world, I'm procrastinating doing my schoolwork. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, please leave a review and follow or favorite. I will try to update again sometime soon, at least before a year, but don't quote me on that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. I probably never will. If things change, I will tell you.

Cel140: I'm glad you liked the last poem. I'm sure you can, it just depends on the inspiration. I hope you like this chapter, too, my first one shot in this book. :D