Chapter 19

The Hummingbird

(Same night)

"They aren't there anymore," I repeated.

"Who is not there anymore," asked a distant voice? I felt isolated at the bottom of a dark tunnel. Oxygen seemed to be none existent. Panic rushed through me. I kept trying to fill my lungs with no success. Where was I? I groped around in the haze of my brain to maybe find some tread of reality. "Alex?"

Professor Snape. I was back; I was back with Professor Snape; I was safe.

Professor Snape was standing over me, supporting me in an upright position; I felt his cold hands clutching the back of my head and my shoulder. His touch sent painful shocks of emotion down my spine almost as if he was electrocuting me. I looked into his stern, pallid face; I had not felt this safe in so long.

I leaned forward and buried me head into the professor's chest with anguished sobs. I felt his body stiffen, repulsed by my actions. I began to cry harder.

He lightly pushed me away. "What happened? Why were you screaming?"

I couldn't speak yet. He waited.

"I-" I finally started.

"Yes," he prompted; in an impatient tone.

"I saw them," I choked, "I keep seeing their faces."

Professor Snape raised an eyebrow as he understood, "So you had a nightmare." He said unsympathetically.

I felt embarrassed. "It was," I sobbed. I wrapped my arms around my own knees and rocked back and forth like a madman. "I just want to forget."

"Forget what?"

My eyes widened I could almost see their ghostly forms stand just behind the professor, cold and unforgiving. I shut my eyes tightly; tears rolled out from the sealed corners "It is my fault that they're dead. I as good as murdered them myself," I cried. I knew the professor was watching me but I could not bear to look at him. "I just feel so guilty all the time," I said in a nearly inaudible whisper. "They must hate me for what I did to them; wherever it is they are, they must hate me." I found it hard to breath and my voice was beginning to increase in volume. "I loved them so much!" I shirked. I opened eyes again and I reached out into the darkness as if I was expecting someone invisible to grab my hand. "I'm sorry," I whispered into the emptiness.

Professor Snape grabbed my wrist and lowered my arm. He observed me with an unreadable expression. I began to shake uncontrollably, with silent tears rolling down my pale cheeks.

"Lie down," Professor Snape ordered me softly.

I did as he said.

"Would you like me to make you a dreamless sleep potion?" Professor Snape offered roughly.

I shook my head.

"Fine, then get to sleep," he told me.

He began to leave.

"No," I half screamed. I caught his hand. "Please don't leave me alone." I pleaded.

Professor Snape glanced down at my fingers wrapped around his hand. I quickly let go. His black eyes peered at me through the darkness. It was silly of me to ask him to stay, I thought with a heavy heart and with that I rolled over on my stomach and rested my head on the pillow so that I was facing the opposite direction of the door; I didn't want to see Professor Snape walk away.

The mattress sunk slightly as the professor sat at the edge of the bed next to me.

I didn't turn around to look at him but let out a few muffled sobs into the pillow.

"I wish I didn't have to go to the order tomorrow," I said through tears. "I wish I could stay with you." I didn't want to lose anyone else I cared about.

"Go to sleep," Professor Snape finally said.

"I love you, Severus," I said softly, just in case I didn't get another opportunity to tell him.

There was a long, drawn out silence, but I did not dare look at the professor's face.

"No," Professor Snape hissed into the darkness, "you do not."

My eyes burned as I cried more into the pillow.

At last the sound of endless sobs had subsided. The girls breathing had slowed, her chest raising and falling gently. Severus carefully stood, trying to be as silent as possible. The mattress groaned from the release of his weight, but Alex remained asleep. He watched her; even though she was in slumber her eyebrows were knit together as if she was in deep thought. Her dark hair cast shadows over her clever expression. Without much thought Professor Snape swept the hair away from her face; but as the ends of his slender fingers brushed the back of her neck he felt something odd.

He lit his wand wordlessly. The light it produced casted eerily shadows along the grey walls. When he illuminated the back of the girl's neck, he was alarmed by what he found there. For Alex had a scar at the crook of her neck, a scar that could only have been created be a curse and a most evil curse at that. The scar was the distinctive shape of a lightning bolt.

Anger erupted inside him.

Dumbledore refused to answer a single one of his question, like how the girl could have escaped death when eye witnesses watched her be hit by a fatal curse and fall to the ground, unmoving.

He had wondered, before he knew of the girl's survival, why her sister would not have been saved by the sacrificial magic, for he knew only too well that it worked. He now knew that the magic would have worked if Alex had died. But why didn't she?

Then suddenly he remembered something she had told to him at Christmas. What had once seemed to be an annoying fact, suddenly seemed to be of great importance, "Did you know that none of the unforgivable curses will work on hummingbirds, their brains are formed in a certain way, not allowing the curses to work properly?"

Severus rushed downstairs; the pieces were finally coming together. Why the Dark Lord thought her dead and now the scar. Severus hastily picked up his book, Curses, Unforgivable; he flipped to page 66, the chapter on the killing curse, Avada Kedavra.

He feverously began to read, hungry for answers.

Avada Kedavra, considered one of the most powerful curses known to wizard kind. With a single wave of a wand, ones opponent will be instantly deceased, Severus read. Of course he knew all this. Vivid images flashed to the front of his mind, of a broken old man with blank eyes falling, falling, and then out of sight. He took a deep breath and continued reading. What really happens when performing this most extraordinary curse? The common misconception of most wizards is that Avada Kedavra directly stops the heart. No, the killing curse greatly affects the brain.

The human brain is a vast and complex organ. It is amazing how Avada Kedavra confounds it so effectively. The curse sends a message to the brain to completely shut down the body. The brain is necessary for survival, but when Avada Kedavra alters its natural intentions, it becomes the bodies very own self-destructor.

Severus closed the book, he had read enough. Alexandra Snape should have died, but couldn't. Her words rang in his head; "I just feel so guilty all the time." His stomach churned as visions of Alex reaching out for her dead family crossed his mind.

Severus touched his palm, wondering why the girl looked to him for comfort… she had told him that she loved him and he detested her for it. How could she love him after all he has done? How could she love him when he was among the Deatheaters who had killed her family?

Dear Readers,

With school starting I am going to have less time to write, but I will try to post once a week. Please review; it was my birthday a few days ago aand your comments would be the best birthday gift ever.