Chapter 6: Frustrated

Hello all – please enjoy another update! I didn't cover as much ground as I was hoping to in this one, but I'll just push it over to the next chapter. Still running on the slow boil, but I promise I have a plan. Exciting news: One of you wonderful readers nominated this story for a Rizzles Fan Award! Thank you, thank you, thank you! There are fantastic stories on the site (rizzlesfanawards-dot-wordpress-dot-com-backslash-nominees) so be sure to check out the others too. Voting starts on February 7th.

It had been three days since the first time Maura had slept over at Jane's cabin. At the moment, the sun was beating down on Jane on the softball diamond as she and Bobbi watched as the once-injured little Brittney got up to bat.

"C'mon Brittney! Show that ball who's boss. Hit it outta there!" Jane cheered and clapped from the side of the field.

Though she was paying attention to the kids, her mind drifted back to earlier that week and how things had developed in the last couple days between her and Maura.

Jane remembered waking up with Maura in her arms. She couldn't help the slow, sleepy smile that spread across her face that first morning. She silently brushed Maura's hair back from her face, trying carefully not to disturb her. She looks so pretty, Jane thought whimsically. Maura began to stir and Jane stilled her movements, hoping that she could steal just a few more minutes of bliss. As she stirred, her grip on Jane tightened and her leg crept higher, toward Jane's center.

Jane bit her lip, stifling a moan, and hoping that the young medic would begin to relax soon. If she keeps this up, I don't think I'll be able to control myself. As if that thought someone was transmitted to Maura, she stopped moving and sighed contentedly. Phew, thought Jane.

The sun was coming up and Jane knew that Maura was still on the 7 am shift. It was probably a little after 6 am. Stupid work, always interrupting my good time. Oh well. At least I get to wake her up.

Quietly Jane began whispering Maura's name and rubbing her arm. "Maura, Maura, time to get up sweetie. I think you have to get ready for work."

For her part, Maura seemed to be fighting this new intrusion. She shook her head and again wiggled closer to Jane, causing Jane's breath to hitch as she realized just how entangled they were now. The dark brunette's pulse was racing and her breathing was shallow. Geez that happened quick, she silently scolded her body. Jane tried again, this time trying to untangle their bodies.

"C'mon Maur, time to wake up sleepy-head." Since Jane was trying to get her arm out from under Maura's head, she had more success waking her.

"Mmm," she stirred. Jane had managed to reclaim her arm, and she was leaning all of her body weight on it as she quietly tried with her other hand to guide Maura's leg out of her crotch. "Hey," she greeted Jane sleepily. She looked into the brunette's eyes, and felt Jane's hand on her leg. "Are you trying to make a move on me?" she flirted.

The palms of Jane's hands instantly began to sweat and she flushed. "What? No! I,..oh, because of my..," she trailed off, looking down at her hand on Maura's thigh. Maura was enjoying watching Jane try to respond and didn't actually mind waking up with Jane's hand on her thigh. God she's cute, the medic thought silently, though outwardly all Jane saw was Maura raising her eyebrows as she tried to explain. Neither one moved.

"Um, during the night, I think we got more tangled up, so I was trying to untangle us a little before you woke up," she explained.

"Ah, I see," Maura replied breathily. "Well, now that I'm conscious, I think I can help," and she moved her leg away from Jane's center. Jane's motor skills were still trying to catch up with her brain, and she still hadn't removed her hand from Maura's leg. Since Maura had adjusted, Jane's hand had accidentally hiked further up her leg. Finally realizing what she was unintentionally doing, Jane moved her hand away.

"Sorry! I really wasn't trying to…um…you, know," Jane sputtered. Ugh, why can't I string a sentence together anymore! Quick, switch topics. "Um, I thought you were still on the early shift, and I didn't want you to be late. It's probably a little after six now."

Maura looked out the window. Jane was right. "Yes, you're right, I should get going." She got out of the bed. "Thank you for letting me stay with you last night."

Jane smiled. "You're welcome. Did you sleep okay? Did you have any more nightmares?" Maura shook her head.

"No, you must have chased them all away," she replied happily. "I've got to go if I want to change and get breakfast." As she was talking, Maura had pulled her robe on and was sliding into her slippers. Jane got up to walk her to the door.

"My pleasure. It's a two-night camping trip, so if you want to come back tonight, you're welcome to. You said that the nightmares last time lasted a week. We can at least chase them away for another night or so. If it will help." They were at the door to the cabin now. Maura turned to look at her.

"Thank you. I'd like that." There was an awkward pause. Jane didn't know if she should pull Maura into a hug or just let her go. Is this how it feels the morning after people have sex? Jane wondered. We didn't even have sex! So it shouldn't be awkward. But it still felt strange.

Deciding it might be slightly safer to not re-embrace Maura, Jane just nodded. "Sounds good. I'll see you tonight then? If you come over earlier we can read or play a game or something. Then you don't have to worry about waking me. 'Kay?"

Maura nodded and smiled. She headed off to her cabin to prepare for the day.

She came over that night. They played cards and Scrabble until they were both tired. Maura climbed back into Bobbi's bed and Jane into her own. A couple hours later, Maura was back at Jane's bedside, shaken up again from her nighttime imagination.

"'Nother nightmare?" she asked. Maura nodded. "Okay," Jane replied, lifting the covers, "let's try a different position tonight." The horrible dream still echoing in her mind made Maura a willing participant to anything that would let her get back into Jane's protective arms. "Okay, you turn around so that your back is facing me." Maura did as she was told. Jane snaked her arm underneath the pillow and put her other arm around Maura's waist. Maura snuggled back so that they were closer together.

"How's that?" Jane asked. "Is this okay?"

Maura nodded. "Are you comfortable too?"

"Mmm-hmm," came the lanky athlete's sleepy response. "'Night Maur."

"Good night Jane." And Maura closed her eyes.

Unfortunately, Jane was less successful at recapturing her slumber, just as she had not been very successful the night before. Worrying that her body would betray her in the night, she had laid there, rigid while Maura was pressed up against her.

Hoping that a slightly less intimate position might alleviate some of her desire, she had come up with the idea of spooning Maura instead of the back-side position they had the previous night. This brainstorm had come to her at breakfast as she ate alone, trying to figure out how she'd be able to control herself after inviting the slumber party situation with Maura to continue.

But of course Jane's imagination was not to be so easily outwitted. Though her arm was securely tucked around Maura, Jane's mind began to drift to all the other ways she could be touching her as she was laying behind her medically-inclined friend.

Jane's mind mentally traced over Maura's body…her legs, her ass, her hand slipping under Maura's pajama top to cup her breast, massage her nipple, and move down her body again, pulling at the elastic waist of her pajama shorts and panties, her fingers finding the soft curls of her friend's vagina. Ugh, stop! This is NOT helping you get to sleep, Jane. And you wouldn't do those things to your unconscious friend. And why are you such a perv? Who invites their friend over to sleep with them under the guise of chasing away nightmares and then tries to get in their pants? You are a terrible friend. Stop fantasizing about her! Stop it! Jane grunted and decided to try to think of anything else but the girl in her arms, in hopes of calming down enough to slip into oblivion.

Jane was finally able to settle down by thinking of sports statistics and the history of who had been traded to and from the Red Sox for the last five years. The next morning, Maura managed to sneak out of the cabin without waking Jane, though she was sad to leave her friend's embrace.

Maura found Jane at dinner later that day. She was cheerful and upbeat, plopping herself next to Jane with her tray of salad and fruit.

"Hi," she chirped. Jane glanced over at her at her, a grin spreading across her face.

"Hey, how 'ya doin'? Good day?" Jane asked. She hoped that Maura wouldn't pick up on her heavy eyelids or the bags under her eyes. It had taken her over and hour and a half of running stats last night to fall back asleep.

"I'm great. The cabin was pretty quiet today since the campers that were away didn't come back until just before dinner. I see the next batch are excitedly getting ready." Maura surveyed the lunchroom and as the group that had just gotten back was enthusiastically sharing their adventures with their friends who were about to leave that night for the next two-night sleep away.

"Yeah, its nuts that they can take a fourth of the girls away, bring them back, and immediately take the next fourth of the camp for another two days. After this group, there's still two more groups to go through. But clearly they love it. I've got to hand it to the Director on figuring out how to staff these excursions. Oh, by the way, which trip are you on?"

"Not this one, but the next one. What about you?" Maura asked. Jane shared that she was scheduled to go on the last trip. Secretly Maura was a little disappointed that they weren't scheduled to go on the same camping trip, but there was nothing either of them could do about it. "Um, listen, I imagine that since the first trip is back that your cabin-mates are back, right?" Jane nodded, still trying to keep her eyes open. Man, I have got to go to bed earlier tonight. I'll be lucky if I can make it until nightfall, Jane thought, leaning heavily on her hand to prop up her head.

"Do you want to sleep at my place tonight?" the honey-blond asked.

Jane's arm slipped from propping her head up and she nearly banged her head on the table. "What?" she asked, dazed by the question and trying to recover from her near miss with the table. Clearly I'm sleep deprived. I think she just asked me to come over.

"Come to my cabin tonight. All my bunk-mates are scheduled for this trip, so my cabin will be empty. Well, except for me, of course. And I'm still getting the nightmares." She turned her big, puppy-dog eyes on Jane, who coincidentally was imitating a deer-in-the-headlights pose.

"Um…," she stalled.

Maura pushed on, not to be deterred. "Please? I…I really do sleep better with you." Realizing how that sounded, she quickly tried to amend the statement. "Um, in your arms…um," Not better, Maura! she thought to herself. She had to try a new tact. "Not like that. Uh…" She looked down at her hands and began fidgeting.

Jane had managed to pull out of her semi-comatose state she'd been nursing and was now highly amused by the turn that the conversation had taken. She decided to have a little fun.

"Not like that, huh? Not like what, Maura?" she teased, but trained her features to project a face of innocence.

Maura's head shot up. "Not, um…you know..uh,..usually when people say that, they've had sexual intercourse. And we haven't." She swallowed.

Jane stared at her slack-jawed. She really just said that! I should remember to be careful when I want to tease her. She's very literal. Though she didn't back away from the idea that we could. Ooo, encouraging! Hold on Jane, let's just slow it down. She said that we haven't, not that she wouldn't mind if we did. Jane felt her heart sag in her chest, realizing she was creating her own world in her head. She noticed that Maura was continuing to fidget and was looking down at her hands again.

Without thinking about it, Jane reached over and closed her hands over her friend's to stop her nervous movements.

"Maura, I was just teasing you. I'm sorry. Yes, I can come over tonight." The brunette's voice was low and quiet. Her voice combined with her hands resting on top of Maura's sent a chill down the EMT.

Maura could barely speak and refused to look Jane in the eye. I think she'd see right through me if I looked at her, Maura thought. "Thank you. I'll just be doing some reading, so you can come over whenever you'd like. I think the camp should clear out in another hour or so."

Jane didn't move, and was a little concerned that Maura seemed to refuse to look at her. "Okay, I'll probably come over around 8:30 or so. That okay?" she squeezed Maura's hands, hoping for a response. Maura nodded, staring at their hands.

Thinking that she was making Maura uncomfortable, she removed her hands. "Okay, I'll see you tonight then." Since she had eaten most of her dinner already and didn't have an appetite to finish the rest, she stood up and picked up her tray to leave.

Maura at last looked up at Jane, seeing that she was leaving. "Thank you Jane. I'll see you tonight," relief clearly displayed in her eyes that Jane agreed to come over. Jane grinned, happy to know that she hadn't accidentally overstepped her friend's personal boundaries.

Jane headed over to Maura's cabin with her pillow and a book a little past 8:30. No need to look too eager, Jane rationalized, laughing at herself. A smart thing would have been to sleep in her own bed, in her own cabin, but she had come to realize that when Maura asked anything of her, Jane was hard-pressed to refus her. When she arrived at Maura's cabin door, she knocked lightly. Maura appeared a moment later, dressed in another matching satiny shorts tank top pajama outfit. This one had lace around the collar and had spaghetti straps instead of cap sleeves. Now her shoulders are exposed! Ugh, I'm never going to win against my hormones! In Jane's opinion, the outfit looked very, very accessible to many places her hands wanted to go but that her head kept telling her not to. Well, maybe tonight she won't have any nightmares and won't need me.

"So, I have a bit of a confession," Maura started once Jane was inside and looking around for where to put her book and pillow. "I don't really know the girls in my bunk as well as you know Bobbi, so I wasn't comfortable asking them if you could use their bed. But since we've shared a bed the last couple nights, I thought it would be okay if you stayed with me."

Jane hugged her pillow to herself. Now they were starting the night in the same bed? Jane chalked up some of the fact that she was able to get some sleep at night for the last two evenings for two reasons 1) she had the couple hours before Maura woke up and came to her bed and 2) she was somewhat sleepy and thus could return to said sleepy state easier, even with Maura there. But now, that plan was blown to hell.

"Oh, uh, okay, sure." Jane put her pillow on Maura's bed somewhat hesitantly. This is weird, very weird. "So, what do you want to do? Are you tired? We could play cards or read or just talk." Jane was aware that her sleep state seemed to vanish, or at least abate greatly at night or near Maura. Her body was humming with the knowledge that they would be pressed together all night. If I can just keep it together…

Maura was relieved that Jane seemed to be taking her news in stride. She was worried that her tall friend would balk at the news and possibly leave, abandoning her to face her nightmares alone. Maura suggested they play cards, so the two settled onto Maura's bed and spent the next couple of hours smack talking and teasing each other through various card games.

By the time Maura began yawning, Jane was relaxed and felt good about being in her friend's company. Between work and busy schedules, they hadn't gotten a chance to just hang out as friends for the last couple of days. That's probably why I'm acting so weird. I just needed to spend time with my FRIEND, not my bed buddy. Everything is back into perspective. Maura's just my friend, and friends don't want to jump their friend's bones.

"Ready for bed?" Jane asked, picking up the cards from their last game. Maura nodded, yawning again. Jane got up and turned the cabin lights off. Blindly, she made her way back to the bed and snuck in behind Maura, who had scooted to the edge of the bed to make room for her. After adjusting her pillow, Jane turned onto her side to look at Maura, who was patiently waiting on her to settle down.

"I'm good now," Jane replied to Maura's silent stare.

"Thank you for staying. I know that two people in a twin bed is not the most comfortable situation."

Jane smiled sheepishly. "But we've done it before, so we know it can be done."

Maura returned Jane's smile. "That's true."

"Are you comfortable sleeping like that?" the athlete asked, referring to the fact that they were mirroring each other's position but not actually touching. Jane knew she was setting herself up for trouble. Why are you inviting trouble, Rizzoli? Can't leave well enough alone, clearly.

"Not as comfortable as some of the other ways we've slept together." Just hearing the words 'slept together' tumble out of Maura's mouth sent shock waves down Jane's body. "Could we try that position we were in last night?"

Jane's brain was short-circuiting and she couldn't remember what specifically Maura was talking about. "Um, sure. Which one was that?" Without further prompting, Maura flipped to her other side, her back away from Jane, and then scooted toward her so that they were spooning. The smaller girl reached back for Jane's wrist and pulled her arm around to her stomach, keeping her own arm flush against Jane's.

"This one. Is this okay?"

"Um, yes?" Jane squeaked. Satisfied with her friend around her to guard and protect her, Maura closed her eyes. Before long, her breathing evened out and Jane could tell that she'd fallen to sleep.

Of course, pressed against the scantily clad teenager, Jane was not asleep and was having a devil of a time getting to that destination.

The next morning, Maura again woke before Jane, but this time she woke her up so she wouldn't oversleep. They hadn't set an alarm clock and, though Maura usually got up without one, she wasn't convinced that Jane was wired the same way. After careful coaxing, followed by more straight forward shaking, Maura was finally able to get Jane to stir.

"Hey there," Maura teased her bed-mate. "I have to head out to get to the early shift. You're welcome to stay here and sleep until you need to get up, but I was worried you might oversleep." Jane mumbled something, but started to get up and pull her shoes on.

The medic walked a sleepy-eyed Jane to the door, noticing that she was dragging along her pillow. Worry crept into the quick-thinking teen's thoughts. "You're coming back tonight, right?" Still barely understanding words, Jane stared at her vacantly.

"Huh? Do you want me to?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"Yes! Definitely! I…I didn't have any nightmares at all last night, and I think that was all because of you." Jane couldn't help feel a bit puffed up by her friend's compliment, even though she knew full well she was subsisting on less than four hours of sleep from last night.

"Okay, I'll come back."

Maura enthusiastically bounced on the balls of her feet, a wide smile plastered across her face. "Great, then you won't mind if I hold your pillow hostage to ensure you'll return?" Jane goofily let go of her pillow and watched as Maura placed it with her on their bed. Whose bed? Jane, you slept here one night. It's still her bed. But the thought had already been planted, and she wasn't willing to let it go just yet, fantasy or not. Jane bid her friend goodbye and quickly made her way back to her cabin. Maybe I can still get another hour or so of sleep before I have to start my shift.

Jane was pulled out of her state of reflection as she watched Brittney rounded third plate that afternoon.

"Go home, go home! Go Brittney! Whoooo!" she cheered the girl in along with her teammates as she hit home plate for the win. "Nice job! Way to go! All right everyone, let's pull it in."

Bobbi and Jane gave some more tips to the players and then released them to their next activity. The next two time slots were usually filled with slightly older kids, but they were the ones still on the camping trip. Jane and Bobbi were delighted to have the rest of the afternoon off and they began hauling the equipment back to the shed.

"So Casanova, where were you last night?" Bobbi asked as Jane struggled with the sack of softballs.

"Huh? Oh, at Maura's. She's still having those nightmares, so I stayed with her in case she had them again." Jane continued to fuss with the bag of balls, stoutly refusing to meet Bobbi's eyes.

"Ah," Bobbi replied knowingly. "Just helping out a friend, huh? You're such a good friend Jane." She couldn't help the teasing tone that her voice had taken on. Jane was just too much of an easy mark right now.

"Um, yeah, whatever. It was all because of you and your stupid love of scary movies. We were only in there for like, twenty minutes and she's been plagued by nightmares for days." Bobbi took Jane's admission in stride.

"Well, it's a good thing she's got you then, to chase them away," she replied, good-naturedly. Jane shrugged.

"I guess."

"What do you mean 'you guess'? C'mon Jane. She is lucky to have you. I'm just teasing you. C'mon. What's up? You've been short with me since I came back from the camping trip. Is everything okay?" Concern crept in Bobbi's voice, and the bags under Jane's eyes hadn't escaped her attention.

Jane sighed. If there was someone she couldn't hide things from, it was Bobbi, and they both knew it. "This is gonna sound lame." Bobbi shrugged. Who cares? "I haven't been sleeping well."

This came as a shock to Bobbi. "What? Why?"

"Well, when you were away with the camping group, you know I invited Maura to bunk in our cabin, because of those nightmares." Bobbi nodded, encouraging her to continue. She knew because Jane had asked if the medic could use her bed, which was fine with Bobbi. She had a date with the floor of a tent, so she wasn't going to be using it.

"Um, well, Maura had nightmares, and then she uh…she sort of ended up in bed with me." Jane cringed. She sounded stupid voicing things in broad daylight that had taken place in the dead of night. Even if nothing had really happened.

"Oh, so now you're sleeping together, ay?" Bobbi's teasing voice was back. Jane stopped dead in her track and glared at her, forcing Bobbi to pause and turn to look at her.

Gritting her teeth, Jane spit out, "It's not like that."

Ugh, okay, sleep-deprived Jane is not one to be toyed with. Got it, Bobbi thought. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sure you guys are safe as houses and all that. So what's the big deal? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Really, Bobbi?" Jane whined. "Think about it." By now they were in the shed, putting the bats and bases away. "A: you know I'm not used to sleeping with people. Anyone, no matter who they are. And B: you know I have feelings for her, in a less than platonic sense. And so when she's," Jane swallowed, "in bed with me, I'm afraid to fall asleep, afraid I'll make some move on her unconsciously and that everything will go to hell faster than I can stop it."

Bobbi let out a low whistle. "Well, when you put it that way, I don't think I could sleep much either. Geez, Rizzoli, you really do love to set yourself up, don't you?" Jane just looked at Bobbi, her misery clear in her dark eyes.

"Oh Jane! It will be fine! Really. I mean, maybe you should tell her," but Jane glared at her, making it clear that that wasn't an option, "or maybe not. But she can't have these nightmares forever. They'll go away soon."

Jane sighed, looking to the ceiling. Bobbi did always seem to be a voice of reason for her, one she desperately needed since between her attraction and her lack of sleep, all reason had decided to dance beyond her grasp.

"And then she'll have to come up with another excuse to lure you to her bed!" Bobbi added cheekily, ducking the mitt Jane lobbed at her head. Thank God I have Bobbi to keep me in check, she thought, laughing at herself.

Another thought occurred to Bobbi. "Hey, aren't you due to go on one of those camping trips soon?" Jane nodded, holding up four fingers indicating that she was to staff the last trip. "What about Maura?" Jane dropped a finger, leaving three up. "Ah, so your reprieve may come sooner than the end of Maura's nightmares. Group three leaves tomorrow afternoon. So you just have to make it through one more night of being Maura's body pillow." Jane decided to drop two more fingers, giving Bobbi the bird. Bobbi laughed.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Jane replied.

"Ah, c'mon Jane. There's some humor in this, but maybe you can't see it. Anyway, we've got the rest of the afternoon off. I think I'm gonna jump in the lake, but maybe you could use a nap." Her tall friend smirked her famous Rizzoli smirk, and agreed.

"Just one more night, Rizzoli. It will all be fine." The two walked back to their cabin. Jane couldn't help but repeat Bobbi's last statement in her head. It left her with mixed feelings. She would certainly love to get a full night's sleep again, she couldn't deny the fact that being so close to Maura had been heavenly, though torturous at the same time.