Happy Weekend everyone! Sorry for the delay in updating, but I wanted to get you all a little something for the weekend. I hope to update again by mid-week (fingers crossed), so hopefully I won't leave you all hanging too long ;) And thanks again to everyone who reviewed or marked story/author updates. You guys are my addiction!
Chapter 7: Swimming
I'm fucked, Jane thought as Maura snuggled deeper into her side. She had arrived at Maura's cabin about an hour ago, once again having pep-talked herself into this idea for yet another night. Things would be fine. She would just spend some nice time with her friend and her attraction would subside and she would stop objectifying this girl. She had taken Bobbi's advice and crashed that afternoon, so now her hormones and her mental state would be less out of whack from sleep deprivation.
But as Jane could feel Maura breathing as she held her body against her own, she felt foolish for having believed something beside the obvious. She was attracted to this smart, odd, beautiful individual and it wasn't going away. And having her snuggling up to her every night was decidedly not helping Jane's imagination. Or maybe her imagination was being too helpful, depending on how you looked at it. Her wayward thoughts continued to haunt her, keeping sleep at bay.
That evening they had simply talked about anything and everything that floated into their minds. It was fun to simply hang out without anyone else around. When Maura began to look sleepy, Jane suggested that they retire, and with Maura's agreement, she crawled quickly under the covers. Naively, Jane assumed that they'd be spooning since that's how they'd slept for the last couple nights. This idea was quickly undone.
"Jane, how do you usually sleep?" Maura asked as she also fixed the covers over herself, turning onto her side to face her friend as she asked the question.
After pausing to consider the question, Jane admitted that she usually slept on her back. Maura's eyes lit up. "Then we should go back to the other position. I sleep better on my side, so I've slept fine the last few nights but you've probably been uncomfortable. Here, lie back," she said as she gently pushed Jane's shoulder onto the bed, forcing her onto her back.
Caught off guard, Jane found herself flat on her back before she could say anything further. Maura positioned herself beside Jane, lying in the magical space between shoulder and neck, lazily draping her arm across Jane's stomach. "Better?"
"Um..this is nice," Jane admitted. "But, I wouldn't say that I've been uncomfortable these last few nights. I was fine."
Maura lifted up slightly so she could look at Jane's face, though it was obscured by the darkness. "I don't believe you. I don't think you've been sleeping as well as I have. Though I'm not an expert on the human body, there are telltale signs when someone hasn't rested well, like dark circles under their eyes, irritability, lack of focus, impatience, and difficulty following conversations." Jane bit her lip. She didn't think Maura had noticed those things about her recent behavior. Quite the contrary, Jane actually thought she'd done an amazing job of hiding her sleep-deprivation from Maura. Not from anyone else, but she thought she'd hidden it from her new friend.
"You've noticed all that about me?" she asked neutrally.
"Well, not all those things, but some of the physical manifestations, like the under-eye coloring and the muscle fatigue or tenseness. It affects the way you normally carry yourself."
"I'm sorry Maura. I…I'm not used to sleeping with anyone, so this is a new experience for me, and I guess I'm just not used to it."
"Oh, please don't apologize. I was selfish to keep asking this of you. Honestly, I do sleep so much better with you here, even if I'm not used to sleeping with anyone either." Jane couldn't help but smile at this admission. At least I'm not the only one, the tall brunette thought. Maura continued, "I still want you to stay tonight, which is why I want you to be comfortable. I thought maybe if you slept in a way that you usually sleep, you might get better rest. Unfortunately, the bed isn't really big enough for us to simulate sleeping by ourselves, though we can certainly try if you'd like." The young EMT was still looking down at her friend after propping herself up on her elbow so she could talk to her easier.
"No, that's okay. Here, come back down," and Jane gently pulled Maura back toward her. After only a moment, Maura popped back up.
"Am I heavy? Maybe that's it. Hmmm….I could try sleeping more on the pillow, instead of on you. Maybe that will help you sleep better."
Amused, the Jane once again found herself pulling her petite friend down to her. "Shhh…you're not heavy. You're perfect. Thank you for worrying about me, but I promise I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself." Maura relaxed in the embrace of her friend.
"I do worry about you. You didn't tell me you weren't sleeping well. I had to figure it out for myself. You shouldn't have had to endure getting less than optimal sleep for me."
The future detective chuckled. "Maura, that's what friends do. We are there for each other. I don't want you having nightmares. Plus, this is the last night we'll probably get to spend together for awhile since we're both scheduled for those camping trips."
She felt Maura's grip tightened. "I forgot about that," she replied, quietly. To try and help calm her worrying friend, Jane began stroking Maura's hair. Without her awareness, Maura let out a small sigh at Jane's gentle touch. She could feel her muscles begin to relax and before very long, Jane could hear the steady rise and fall of her breaths indicating she'd fallen asleep.
Jane looked up at the ceiling. Just one more night.
The next morning Maura roused Jane again.
"Good morning," Maura chirped. Jane stirred, and finally focused on the all-too-perky individual still lying in bed next to her.
"Hey," she replied, her voice deep and gravelly. She smiled dreamily at her friend. Not a bad sight to wake up to in the morning, she had to admit. "Sleep okay?"
"Uh-huh. This is night two of no nightmares, thanks to you." Jane tried not to blush, but the way Maura was looking at her adoringly was hard not to.
"I….um….I didn't do anything." She gently brushed some of Maura's hair away from her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "But I'm very glad to hear you didn't have any nightmares." The timbre of Jane's voice was low and sent a chill down Maura's spine. She had a hard time holding Jane's intense gaze and ultimately broke it to glance out the window.
Swallowing to pull herself together, she replied a little disappointedly, that she had to get to work. "And then I have the camping trip tonight. I'm sure things will be a bit chaotic. But I'll try to find you at dinner," she said, rising from the bed.
Jane smirked. Things were always chaotic when one trip came back and the next trip got going. "Well, I would love to see you, but I've seen how things go around here. You'll be at work all day, and then you have to pack your stuff, and probably some medic stuff for anything that might happen on the trail, and then you take off. If we can't connect at dinner, its okay." An idea occurred to Jane. "Hey, do you need any help packing the medical stuff?"
Maura was once again touched by her friend's willingness to help her on mundane tasks. "That's okay. So far things have been quite on the trips, so we've just been circulating the same supply kit that one of my coworkers packed on the first trip. Though I would like to double-check her inventory and make sure we'll have everything we need. It shouldn't take me long though."
Jane had disentangled herself from the bed as Maura was talking and slipped into her flip-flops. She snagged her pillow.
"Okay, well, I'll head back to my bunk for another hour or so of shut-eye. Have a good day, and if I don't see you, be careful on the trip. 'Kay?"
Seeing her friend at the door, she was suddenly overcome with the idea that they may not see each other for four days when they'd spent every night together for the last four nights. They had grown closer. She quickly crossed the cabin and pulled Jane into a hug. "I'll be careful," she mumbled into the mass of her friend's hair.
Jane tightened her hold on the girl. It felt so right the way she fit into her arms, against her body. She heard Maura's voice again next to her ear. "By the way, did you sleep any better last night?"
The taller brunette chuckled, loosening her hold so she could look the smaller woman in the eye. "You worry about me too much. I'm fine." She knew that wasn't really an answer, but she hoped Maura wouldn't call her on it. Reading the immediate hurt in the hazel eyes let her know that that wasn't the case.
A small 'oh' escaped Maura's lips and she unconsciously pouted out her lower lip. Maura hated being defeated when reason and science had convinced her that a different result should have occurred. It nearly broke Jane's heart to see the dimming lightness in her friend's eyes. Maura dropped her gaze.
Jane gently brought Maura's chin up so she could reconnect with her. When she saw she had Maura's attention, she replied to her concern. "I am fine. I'll sleep for another hour or so, and I'll sleep fine over the next few nights too, but I'm still gonna miss you. Got it?" She held eye contact with her, searching for the understanding she longed to see take root in Maura's mind. She could still see sadness lacing through the features, but also something new, an uncertainty.
"You'll miss me?"
Jane smirked, torn between ringing her friend's neck or hugging her. She opted for the later. "Yes, you goofball. I'm gonna miss you." Insecurity was apparently contagious. "Are you going to miss me?" She felt Maura's hold on her tighten in reply.
"Yes. A lot." The simple statement seemed to hold volumes more emotion than Jane was expecting, and she felt her body begin to tingle with the intimacy of the situation. She decided to lighten the mood, since she knew Maura would have to get to work soon. She withdrew from the embrace.
"Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one," she winked. "Have fun on the trip. I'll try to catch up with you when you get back, but if I don't, I'll find you when I come back." Maura nodded, already steeling herself for being without her best friend for days. Creeping at the edges of her mind was the fact that summer camp was a hiatus from both of their lives. She lived in France; Jane in Boston. What would they do when the summer ended? She pushed this thought away and decided she couldn't focus on that right now.
The shadow that crossed Maura's face had not gone unnoticed by Jane, but aside from tilting her head slightly, she decided not to pursue her question. Without further stalling, she left Maura's cabin to get another hour of sleep before reporting for breakfast.
Four long days passed before Maura was able to see Jane again. They did not see each other that evening at dinner, as Jane suspected that they may not, because of all the hustle and bustle of trips coming in and going out. When Maura's trip returned, Jane was with Bobbi going over what she should and shouldn't take on the trip based on Bobbi's experience with the earlier trip. Jane barely had enough time to throw her stuff into a backpack and grab a quick dinner before she was herding her group of campers into the wilderness.
The first two days without Maura around had been hard. It's never fun to be the person left behind. Her world stays the same while the other person's world is full of new adventures. Jane focused on creating new drills for her kids on the softball field, working out, and hanging out with Bobbi. She realized that she'd been neglecting Bobbi a bit due to her focus on her new friendship with Maura.
Laying down in her bed that first night without Maura had felt a little odd to Jane. She could still smell the scent of Maura's shampoo on her pillow and it made her ache for her friend to be back in her arms. Still, after nights of less than eight hours of sleep, Jane quickly slipped into unconsciousness. After slamming the snooze button on her alarm clock the next day, she remembered Maura waking her up the last two mornings. Way more fun to wake up to her then the stupid alarm clock, she groused internally.
The two days passed at an agonizingly slow pace to Jane, but finally the afternoon arrived where she had to pack up and shove off for her own camping trip. Now it was her turn for a change of scenery! Surprisingly Jane found herself having a good time on the trip. She was lugging lots of extra equipment for pick up softball games (just in case the kids got bored), but she was fit and didn't mind the extra weight. She had never been camping, so everything was new and contained challenges to be overcome – from how to go to the bathroom in the woods to how to make coffee and breakfast. Things seemed to take a lot of time and work, but it was so different than life at the cabins that she relished it. After her group had hiked a couple of hours that evening, they made their way to the place where they would be camping. She helped pitch tents, listening to the other more experienced counselors at first, until she picked up on the method and was able to help the little girls with their tents. As dusk was falling, they gathered wood and started their fires for stories and s'mores. Afterward everyone retired to their tents.
Sleeping on the ground was not nearly as comfortable as sleeping in her camp bed (which coincidentally was not as comfortable as her bed at home, but there was no nagging mother, so she figured she was actually ahead on that front). After tossing and turning, and shoving a few rocks out from under her sleeping bag, she finally managed to settle down and close her eyes. She wondered what Maura was doing at that moment.
The next two days went by quickly. Jane accompanied hiking groups in the morning where one counselor instructed the girls on the different tracks and plant life that were on the trails. In the afternoons, there would be card games, pick up sports games of soccer or softball, and there was a river nearby where the girls could swim and cool off. During the late afternoon, the counselors would start working on burying dinner under the fire or gathering wood. It was peaceful and fun. There wasn't a schedule to keep, and everyone felt relaxed.
Perhaps it was because she hadn't seen Maura in days, but Jane kept finding her mind wandering to her French-schooled friend. She replayed their conversations back in her head. She recalled how she smelled, how she curled up against her at night, how she'd say funny things that were odd but still fascinated her. Maura could easily spit out facts on topics Jane wouldn't have even bothered to type into a search engine, let alone read articles on and memorize information. At night, Jane's mind was even less disciplined, honing in on small parts of Maura's body – her wrist, the area on her neck behind her ear, her collarbone. What would it be like to touch those areas, or to kiss them? Would they be as soft as they were in her mind? What would it smell like, feel like? Contemplating such pivotal questions lulled Jane to sleep while she lay on the tent floor.
Shortly after lunch the staff began to pack up the tents and equipment to head back to the cabins. The girls were responsible for their own belongings and dismantling their tents, but that left a lot of extra stuff that the camp staff had to organize and repackage. Finally everything was bundled and the group left the camp ground, singing goofy camp songs along the way. But two days of smooth sailing did not ensure a smooth trip back.
Maura was reading outside her cabin, waiting for the commotion that would signify Jane's group returning. Typically the camp groups got in right around dinnertime and everyone was excited to share what they'd done and learned on their trip. This evening minutes and then hours passed by without the group's return. Finally Maura decided to go to dinner before the mess hall closed. It was nearly dark when she finally heard voices in the distance.
The medic quickly went over to the group to see what was going on and why they were so delayed, which quickly became apparent. One of the campers was being carried by a makeshift stretcher. Her ankle was badly swollen. Jane was walking along beside the injured camper, holding her hand and gesticulating wildly with her other hand, clearly telling some sort of comical story.
"What happened?" Maura asked, approaching Jane and the stretcher, which was about half way through the caravan. Jane looked up. She felt a surge of joy at finally seeing her friend again.
"Maura," she sighed, pronouncing the name almost like a prayer. Quickly realizing that her reaction was odd, she cleared her throat to explain, but before she could, Kim, the medic that was on their trip, jumped in.
"Chrissy was rough housing in the back of the line, running into people on purpose. The girls were having fun, and were pushing her back, but then Chrissy tripped over some uneven terrain and twisted her ankle. I can't tell if it's broken or not. We have to get her to the hospital though and have it x-rayed."
Maura turned her attention from Kim to Chrissy, who was sheepishly holding Jane's hand. She remembered Jane telling her about how Chrissy was the class clown in one of her morning softball classes, always cutting up and trying to get a laugh. However, laid out on her back with other people carrying her seemed to have knocked the bravado out of her. Maura could see the dried tear tracks left on her cheeks, though she didn't know if it was from pain, embarrassment, fear, or a combination of all three.
Chrissy looked up at Jane. "Could you come to the hospital with me?" Jane glanced from Maura to Chrissy. Maura just caught the look of pleading disappointment she conveyed to Maura before answering Chrissy's question. She squeezed her hand.
"Of course I can, but are you sure you need me? Kim would go with you, and she's a professional at this stuff." Chrissy glanced up to Kim, but then pulled Jane down so she could whisper in her ear. Maura couldn't hear what she said, but Jane smirked at one part of the quiet confession. She stood back up.
"Okay then, I'll come along too, just to make sure," she said, winking at Chrissy. "Let me just do this one thing and then I'll meet you guys at the camp car, okay?" Chrissy nodded, letting go of Jane's hand as the caravan trudged on to the cabins and the mess hall. Everyone looked tired and Maura suspected they were all very hungry. She stepped back to let them all pass by between she and Jane.
Once the group had receded, Jane closed the distance between them and enveloped Maura in a hug. "I missed you."
Maura buried her face in Jane's neck, returning the hug with equal measure. "Me too. And now you have to leave again." She could feel her eyes begin to water. Get a grip on yourself Maura. It isn't like she's leaving town. You'll be able to see her again in a few hours. Calm down.
"Yeah, but Chrissy's really scared about going to the hospital. Apparently the only other time she's even been in a hospital is when her grandfather was sick and passed away. So she's scared something awful will happen, like they'll have to amputate her foot or that she'll die. I told her I'd come along to make sure that they took good care of her."
"She seems to like you," Maura commented.
She smirked. "It's funny. She drives me nuts on the softball field, but I was the one she turned to when she got hurt. I guess I could help her take her mind off of what she was going through a little."
"I can believe that," she replied, recalling how Chrissy was enthralled in the story Jane was telling as she walked up.
"Listen, I've gotta go. I really have missed you, and I can't wait to catch up. If it's not too late when I get back, I'll come over, okay?" Maura nodded and watched as Jane broke into a light jog to get to the car.
Maura didn't see Jane until the next day after dinner, and then she had to look for her. She finally found her after dark on the dock in her swimsuit, just staring off into space. She called out to her and Jane turned, smiling as she watched Maura approach.
"Hey there," Jane started conversationally. Maura suddenly felt very shy. Maybe her friend wanted to be left alone? Maybe she was bothering Jane? Maybe that's why Jane had not found her first.
Jane interrupted Maura's thoughts. "Did you come for a swim?" she asked, taking in Maura's white t-shirt and khaki shorts. The question made Maura even more nervous.
"No, I came to find you." She looked down at the ground, hoping she wasn't being too forward. "You didn't come over last night," she pointed out shyly.
Jane sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that, but it was nearly one a.m. when we got back here. I assumed you were asleep, and I didn't want to wake you."
"But you didn't find me later either," she frowned.
Jane sighed. She felt bad. She had her reasons, but she was struggling with how to articulate them without hurting her friend. She was worried about the end of the summer, and how close they had gotten over the course of just a couple weeks. What would become of them? Could they still be friends? All of her thoughts seemed to swirl around planet Maura – what she said, how she looked, what she felt like, or how she smelled. Maybe it would be safer if she started to distance herself from the petite brunette.
Maura continued to stand above Jane, feeling out of place. "Did I do something?"
The question, asked slowly and sadly, pulled Jane out of her thoughts. "What? No!" She stood up. "No, absolutely not. Look, I'm really sorry. Why don't you sit down?" Maura gracefully lowered herself to the dock and Jane resumed her soggy circle where she was previously sitting. She watched Jane curiously, silently begging her to continue.
Feeling Maura's silent questions in the air, Jane stared out across the blackened lake. She opted to keep the conversation away from the anxiety-causing bleak future. "I had fun on the camping trip. Well, up until Chrissy's accident. Did you?"
Maura was a bit caught off-guard by the change in topics, but was relieved that her friend was talking to her as if nothing was wrong. "Yes! I had a nice time. It was fun to get away and do such different tasks. I got to cook, pitch tents, make a fire. It was so much fun!"
Jane smiled to herself, intoxicated by the enthusiasm in Maura's voice. The hazel-eyed girl continued. "And I have further good news. You seemed to have cured me of my nightmares. I haven't had a single one for days." Maura was practically beside herself with giddiness to share this news with Jane. "That's three days shorter than when I was younger!"
"Maura, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you! But I'm sure it wasn't me. We weren't in the movies for that long, so you're brain probably didn't have as much to go on as when you were little." Jane tried to downplay her role in the teen's recovery.
"No, Jane, you don't understand." This time Maura shifted to stare across the lake. "My dreams…they are so dark. As I've gotten older, and exposed to more information, I don't need to see a movie to have bad dreams, though they tend to set them off. Sometimes I worry…about what I think, what I see." Jane watched her friend closely as she spoke. "My dreams frighten me, not because of what's being done to me, but because, in most cases, I'm the one doing something…something frightening." She finally turned to look at Jane, unshed tears in her eyes. "I don't want to be that person."
Jane reached out and took her hand. "Hey, listen to me. You're not that person. Maura, we all have a dark side inside of us. Some of us struggle with it more than others, but we all have it. It's human. It's what you choose to do that sets people apart. Maura, you help people. That's what you want to do, and hell, it's what you're doing now by being here. So you're not this evil figure that's out hurting people." Jane tugged at her hand, trying to capture her friend's eye.
"But I could be."
"We all could be."
Maura sniffled. She felt so lucky to have met someone like Jane. She had never shared how frightened her nightmares made her, or why. She had taken a chance with Jane, worried that she could reject her, but she hadn't. Relief flooded her body. Maura decided to get back to a lighter topic. "So you liked camping too, it sounded like?"
"Yeah, I was surprised I actually liked it so much. It was so different. You could actually hear yourself think," Jane replied wistfully, still a little concerned about Maura, but willing to switch back to the old topic.
"Yes, I thought about a lot of things," Maura said, almost to herself. Intrigued, Jane prodded her to continue. Maybe Maura was still thinking about her dreams and wanted to discuss it more.
"Like what?"
"About us. Our conversations." She paused. "The future."
"Us?" Jane drawled. "What about us?"
"I was thinking about the conversation we had in the shed that day." Jane's face flushed. She felt like this conversation was replaying her worst moments with her friend – the movie, and now that day in the shed.
"Maura, I've already apologized for that day. I still feel very bad about my behavior." Maura waved Jane's words away, as if she could physically shoo the unwanted thoughts away from Jane like a swarm of flies.
"No, no, not that part. The other part, when you said that I couldn't ever force myself on you. What did you mean?" Jane felt her face grow immeasurably warmer and her ears began to burn. This was what she hoped her genius friend would not remember, would not reconsider, and if she ever did, would certainly never ask her.
"I think we've been over this, haven't we?" she tried meekly.
"No, I don't think we have. I countered your argument with ways that I would be able to overpower you. But in the end, we established that it was about consent." Maura waited a beat. "Do you remember?"
Oh God do I remember, Jane thought resentfully. "I remember," she quietly replied, picking at a loose splinter on one of the dock's boards. "Maybe we should just leave this alone. I don't think you'll like my answer to your question." Jane felt her mouth go dry and she prayed that Maura could just let this alone.
Unanswered questions, however, was not something that Maura Isles would ever be able to leave alone. "No, Jane, I want to know. We've established that there are ways that I could overpower you. Why don't you think I could ever rape you?"
Frustrated and seeing no way out, Jane's lashed out. "Because I give you consent. I would always give you consent. Anywhere, anytime. You can have it. You can't force someone to do something if they want to do it anyway!"
She had finally said what she'd been thinking when she was standing in that hot, humid shed weeks ago, facing Maura when she had still barely known her. But she had known her attraction to her, even then.
"What?" Maura asked rhetorically, trying to comprehend what Jane had just said.
"Just forget it, okay?" Jane bit out, bringing her hands to her face, trying to calm her out of control temperature that was causing her face to flush and her ears to burn. Overwhelmed, she searched for a way to escape, to get away from Maura, the friendship she was certain she had just ruined.
"Look, I still have some laps I need to swim. I'll see you later." Not waiting for a reply, she dove into the lake and began frantically sprinting to the floating barge fifty meters away.
Dumbfounded, Maura was still trying to sift through the new information that Jane had yelled at her. The splash brought Maura out of her reverie. "Jane wait!" but Jane never heard the plea. By now she was several feet away from the dock and frantically splashing further away.
The softball star finally arrived at the barge, out of breath, but still incredibly angry that she couldn't keep her temper in check enough to not have blown up at Maura, especially with the truth. "Why am I such an asshole!" she fumed and hit the dock's metal ladder with the side of her fist.
Lost in her own world, she didn't hear the quiet splashing or the increased lapping on the side of the barge.
"Jane," Maura breathed, finally catching up to her at the barge.
"Maura? What are you doing here? I didn't know you had a swimsuit on."
Not to be deterred, Maura lit into her. "Why did you leave? Why did you yell at me? I just asked you a question." Through the pitch black night, Jane could barely make out Maura's facial features, but she could have sworn she saw fire in Maura's eyes.
She slowly released the breath she'd been holding since realizing Maura had swam out to find her. "I didn't think you'd want to be around me, after what I told you," she admitted dejectedly.
"Not want to be around you?" Maura's voice conveyed how confusing she found that statement. "You're the only person I want to be around!"
Jane couldn't contain the ridiculous grin that was spreading over her face. "Really?" she asked disbelievingly.
"Yes! You're funny, sweet, and loyal. You're so caring and kind and protective. You're amazing with the kids around here and…I can't stop thinking about you."
Jane was stunned. Maura thought she was all of those things? She wasn't even convinced she was all of those things. "You're just being nice."
"Jane, please," Maura's voice cracked. "Please don't run away from me. I've never met anyone like you."
The dark brunette couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I….I'm sorry. I just assumed you didn't feel like that toward me. I mean, we're good friends, but Maura.." Jane still wasn't convinced that Maura understood the depth of her feelings for her. "The way I feel about you isn't the way friends typically feel about each other." Jane was holding onto the barge ladder, staring at the metal pole. Maura was gripping the other side of the ladder.
Maura frantically culled her mind for the right words to say to convince Jane that she did feel the same way, that she wanted more too. She realized one of the things that she liked best about Jane was that she was action-oriented. Jane would sooner move a bolder than stand around and theorize the "right" way to move a rock. I could learn so much from her. Maybe I should try it.
Without further thought, Maura gently touched Jane's jaw, directing her to look at her. She breathed Jane's name, a wish partly asking permission, partly warning Jane of her proximity. She closed the distance between them, feeling Jane's lips on her own.
Finding herself shocked again, at first Jane didn't move. Once she realized what was happening, she kissed Maura back, bringing her hand up to pull the medic's head closer. She deepened the kiss. Unsatisfied with only having contact with Maura's lips, Jane lowered her hand from her head to her back, drawing the petite woman into her.
"Mmmm..," Maura moaned, enjoying the sensation of being so close to Jane. The dark-haired teen began kissing the medic's neck, and Maura could feel her hand wandering lower and lower on her body. She felt Jane freeze.
"Maura," Jane's voice was gravelly and hinted at a something Maura couldn't quite place.
"Hmm?" Maura didn't understand why Jane was suddenly stock still.
"Where is your swimsuit?" Maura could feel her face begin to burn.
"Oh, um, that. Well, you left in such a hurry, and I wanted to figure out what was wrong, so I had to catch up to you and..well…," she trailed off for a moment. "We do it in France all the time. Nudity isn't a big deal. We have nude beaches, after all."
"You're naked!" Jane shouted.
"Um, I think Americans like to call it skinny dipping."
"You're naked." This was now a statement instead of exclamation.
"Yes," Maura huffed slightly.
Jane was amazed. "So, let me make sure I understand this. You're naked. After what I told you on the dock, you decided to jump in after me – naked – to find out what was going on. Do I have that right?" Maura could hear that Jane was smirking.
"Yes, that's right."
"God, you are so hot," and suddenly Jane's lips were on Maura again, her hand was squeezing her ass, and Maura was becoming more and more excited. Jane quickly entwined their legs together, pushing her thigh into Maura's core.
In a heartbeat, she surrounded Maura. The water buoyed the medic's body, and Jane was gripping either side of the ladder, pinning Maura between her and the barge, kissing her madly, and enjoying the feel of Maura riding her leg.
Maura groaned as Jane's kisses became more forceful and moved down to her neck. Geez, she's amazing, Maura thought, wrapping her arms around Jane's back, bringing them even closer together.
Unsatisfied that her hands weren't free to roam Maura's body, Jane shifted her weight slightly, allowing her left arm to trail down the gorgeous body encircling her. Her friend weighed next to nothing because of the water, and she could sustain their weight with just her leg and her arm on the ladder.
The swimsuit-clad coach massaged Maura's hip, then moved to her butt, thrilling at the sensation of muscle and flesh beneath her hand, and further increasing the friction Maura had against her thigh. The medic moaned into her mouth as their tongues dueled for ownership and submission simultaneously.
Jane slowly began to sneak her hand away from Maura's backside to her hip and then to the inside of her thigh, wanting desperately to feel more of her, know more of her. Maura let out the smallest, saddest little "mmph" that Jane had ever heard, and felt Maura pull back.
"Jane, wait," she panted, and Jane instantly stilled her movements, resting her hand back on Maura's hip. "We can't…not here."
"I think we could," she replied simply and moved forward to recapture Maura's now-swollen lips, but she felt Maura's hand against her chest stopping her.
"Don't get me wrong. I am thoroughly enjoying this, but…we're in a lake." Jane still wasn't following this line of logic and was becoming antsy. Yes, they were in a lake. So what? She began kissing Maura's neck.
"Yes, lake, I'm aware. Still," Jane pushed her thigh higher into Maura, eliciting the gasp she was hoping for, "what's the problem?" Clutching at Jane, Maura momentarily lost her train of thought. She whimpered, wanting more.
Jane decided she was probably pushing her friend a little too far a little too fast and pulled away from her neck. "Hey, really, are you okay? I know this is going fast, but we can stop." She paused. "I can stop." She heard and simultaneously felt Maura exhale, her body relaxing into Jane's. Maura's concern returned.
"There are thousands of parasites and organisms living in lake water. If you put a petri dish of water under a microscope, the entire thing looks alive. It's not safe. Either of us could get a gastrointestinal illness like giarda or , or contract a respiratory infection, like legionellosis or Pontiac fever."
"Oh," Jane replied simply. So it wasn't because of the emotional upheaval that her friend was asking her to slow down. It was because of biology. Well, a different sort of biology. Jane wanted to be sure she understood Maura correctly. "Um…so this is because I was, um…," Why was this stuff always so hard for her to say?
"I thought you were…well, your hand,..uh," the typically articulate young woman was having her own difficulty putting her concerns into words. Just tell her Maura, she thought impatiently. "I thought you were going to go inside of me and I didn't think we should do that in a lake," she gushed self-consciously.
Jane smiled softly and moved her hand up to Maura's chin, silently repositioning her to look into her eyes. "Hey," she quietly spoke. "You were right. That's what I wanted. But if that's not what you want, then that's okay."
"Really?" she replied meekly.
"Oh Maura, of course!" She instantly felt her friend's arms hugging her. Jane felt the familiar stirrings in her lower abdomen, her body begging to continue what she was doing moments ago. "Um, but if we are going to slow down, we should probably not be quite so close together," she admitted begrudgingly.
"Oh! Right." Maura's grip loosened, though she was still squarely on Jane's thigh, and made no motion to leave. Instead she brought her hands up to Jane's neck, lightly folding her hands behind it so that they could talk easier. "So what do we do now?"