Chapter 5

It had taken a while, but she was ready. It was times like this that Juuzou found herself increasingly glad for her mama's obsession with attractive things, and could honestly say she was at an advantage. She knew what made her look good. She knew how to accentuate her body type and be as attractive as possible. All it took to transform her into a alluring young woman was the right collaboration of makeup and the right combination of clothes. She had gone for a particularly short black dress, a light jacket and a pair of heeled ankle boots. She had applied dark eyeshadow to make her ruby eyes pop, and a dark red lipstick. She looked totally different from when she had first left the house that day.

Her hair was straightened, though she couldn't do much about its naturally messy nature. She let her fringe fall in her face slightly as she put a pair of small silver studs in her ears, not bothering with her usual clips. She grinned to herself before pocketing her keys and some cash and slamming the door behind her.

Little was just making her way up the stairs, a bag of food tucked under her arm. She gasped when she saw her young neighbour locking the door behind her, her small hand flying to her heart.

"My dear, what are you wearing?" She gasped, coming to stand before the girl. Though she had a good fifty or so years on her, was much smaller than Juuzou, her head of greying brown curls barely reaching her chin. Juuzou smiled sweetly, turning to face the woman properly.

"Hiya ! Need any help with that?" She had enough time, it wasn't exactly late yet. Besides, the little old woman was always nice to her. She swatted away Juuzou's hands, though not aggressively. She shuffled past her, knowing she wouldn't dare leave before being dismissed.

"Answer my question, girlie! What are you wearing?" Juuzou rubbed the back of her neck, her fingers brushing the chain of the necklace she wore.

"I'm going out... It's an experiment." She wasn't completely lying. To Juuzou, it really was an experiment. She wanted to know what sex was like, and she was going to find out. She watched as the elder woman tutted, rolling her eyes as she opened her door.

"Yeah, I know what you kids get up to... Though you're an odd one, I'll grant you. I've never seen someone contradict themselves so many times in one day!" Juuzou looked down, scolded. She heard the woman sigh before her feet shuffled her over to the younger.

"Just keep yourself safe, you hear me?" She patted her cheek affectionately before making her way into her apartment. Juuzou was dismissed. She hurried down the stairs and out onto the street. She quickly hailed a taxi and jumped in, asking him to take her to the closest club. It was a short drive, and she quickly paid before jumping out.

The building was old, but not too shabby. The front sign was bright and eye-catching, and the bouncer that stood at the door clearly took no shit. She would have to be on her best behaviour.

Inside, Juuzou wasn't sure where to go first. The club was crowded, the dance floor full of all kinds of people, swaying and twisting in time to the music. She surveyed the room, taking note of every exit and vantage point. It was with this information she headed to the bar. It was the closest place to the emergency exit, and if an emergency happened, well she was sure as hell gonna exit. She didn't want to spend another night in a cell, that was for sure. Besides, she knew full well that would be waiting up for her as late as she could, just so she could wake her up at some ungodly time tomorrow to chew her out.

She ordered a drink, just a Coke, and settled into a seat, watching the groups forming in the crowd, picking out and placing the couples in the room. She was quite happy playing her game, sipping her drink and swaying to the music. She was only aware of time passing when a tall man with a seductive smile and blond hair came to stand in front of her.

"Hi!" He had to yell to be heard over the music, which kind of ruined the sexy look he was going for. It just kinda make him look really eager. Juuzou smiled up at him regardless, batting her eyelashes.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He slid into the space next to her, leaning against the bar. Juuzou giggled, nodding.

"Sure!" She yelled back, crossing her legs and leaning forward. The guy winked, signalling the barman and ordering two drinks. She wasn't sure what they were, but they looked pretty basic when they arrived. Nothing too fancy, a nice and simple drink. He handed it to her carefully, and she made sure sip like a lady. It was vodka, she could tell that much.

"What's your name?" He questioned, taking a sip of his own drink.

"Rei." She wasn't sure why she said that name, but it happened automatically. She hadn't been Rei for a long time... Not since the academy. She was Juuzou now, so why would she say that?

"That's a beautiful name! I'm Taichi... What's a lovely lady like yourself doing in a place like this?" He pulled her away from her own mind, demanding her attention. Juuzou made her cheeks blush, looking down to appear bashful. That's what mama had taught her boys liked... Cute, quiet, a proper lady.

"Well, if I wasn't here I wouldn't have met you, would I?" She flirted. It was pretty easy from there. Taichi was putty in her hands, and was soon leaning closer and closer. Juuzou had snuck a few looks around the bar to see if there were any other guys that she would prefer, but none really caught her attention, and Taichi was already there. Around an hour later, after chatting about nothing, Taichi asked her the key question.

"So... You wanna get out of here?" He smirked down at her, just as aware of what he was asking as she was. Juuzou finished her drink quickly and nodded, letting her lips pull into a small, innocent looking smile.

"Sure, where to?"

"My place?" Juuzou nodded again, allowing him to help her down from her stool. This would be so great to rub in Seidou's face on Monday!

•••

Sex was weird. From the second they got through the door of his apartment, Taichi was all over her. His kisses were all teeth and tongue, there was no real affection there. She knew it was a one night stand, she had planned it! But that didn't mean she felt better about it.

He had lead her through to his small bedroom, laid her on the bed, then started to strip himself. Juuzou had dutifully followed his lead, not making a show, just getting it done. It was too dark and Taichi was too drunk to notice her scars, even when he kissed his way up her body. He was moving up her body, crawling between her legs. It was quick and sudden. One second he was looming over her, the next he was in her and thrusting like a frat boy. It felt OK, she guessed. It didn't hurt, and when he his certain parts it felt really good, but overall the whole thing was painfully unimpressive. She didn't get why Seidou was so obsessed with the act.

After a few minutes of silence, filled only by Taichi's groans, he leant in and whispered in her ear.

"You're on the pill or something, right?"

"Something like that, yeah." How was he to know how damaged she was? All he saw was a pretty girl at a bar, not a grenade, ready to explode at any moment. He didn't know about Mama or the CCG, or even who she really was. It was realising this that made a heaviness build up in the pit of her stomach. She gasped as Taichi hit just the right spot, and started thrusting back at him, pushing him to hit that spot again. Taichi must have noticed the difference in her, and doubled his efforts.

"I-I'm close-" he gasped, almost making her jump with the sudden exclamation. Juuzou bit her lip, pressing herself against him, her head falling back. Her own orgasm shocked her. She hadn't been prepared for the sudden burst of pleasure she felt. She whined, high in the back of her throat. Her orgasm triggered his, and she couldn't decide if she was grossed out by the feeling of him shooting out inside her. It was weird, and cooler than her own core temperature.

"Oh my god..." Taichi rolled off of her, finally letting her breathe. She took deep, calming breaths. She wanted a shower, and to take her makeup off. She could feel it sitting on her skin, making her itch. She waited for Taichi to fall asleep, which didn't take long, before sliding carefully out of the bed and collecting her clothes in silence. It was dark, and she stumbled a few times, but she was soon dressed and checking herself in a small mirror that hang in the living room. Deeming herself presentable, Juuzou crept out the door and hurried away from the house. She still had plenty of money left, so she could have gotten a taxi, but she felt like she needed to walk. It wouldn't be too long, they were only in the second ward.

She felt weird. Not bad, just... Weird. She wasn't sure why Seidou was so easily excited by such a mediocre activity. She knew much better ways to get a rush. Sure, it hadn't been too bad, but not amazing.

She was just about to enter the first ward when she heard someone shouting.

"Juuzou! I knew it was you!" Amon. Juuzou was surprised to see him, and even more so that it had been him calling her out. She stopped walking, letting the giant man catch up to her. She tried to smile, but she wasn't sure it looked right.

"Are you alright? You don't look well..." He was wearing his work clothes still, so he was clearly on his way home. He must have been one of the last ones left, this late at night. It had to be at least one am, if not later. He looked down at her concerned.

"I'm fine." She realised she had taken too long to reply, but she couldn't exactly change that now. Amon frowned, taking her by the arm gently and leading her over to a public bench. He lowered her down and then perched beside her, inspecting her pale face. She looked back, unsure of what he expected her to say. They weren't at work, so it would be weird to talk about ghouls and stuff, right? And she was sure Amon didn't really like her either, so what was there to say.

"Where have you been, Juuzou? It's very late." He told her, sounding like a concerned parent, not her peer. Juuzou sighed, running a hand trough her hair. Amon watched her every move.

"Special investigator Amon-"

"Please, call me Amon. We're not at work." He interrupted. She nodded, showing she understood.

"Amon," she corrected. "I am nineteen years old. I'm independent, and if I want to go out late at night, I can."

She wasn't trying to be rude, she really wasn't. But she was tired and a bit sore, and she had been drinking all night... She wasn't in the mood to be coddled by a man who obviously disliked her.

"I know that, Juuzou. But you're still young. You shouldn't be all alone. What about your friend you mentioned, the one who taught you..." He pointed to the stitching around her fingers, poking out of her jacket. Juuzou snorted, shaking her head.

"She lives in the seventeenth ward. And has a three year old. She's not coming all the way here just for me, trust me." That, and Naomi was hiding out at the moment. She had spent the last four years being beaten down by some punk she claimed to love, and finally she had kicked him out. She'd been hiding out at her parents ever since. She still hadn't told Miya why her daddy wasn't coming back.

"Oh... Well, I assumed she would be your age." He explained needlessly. Juuzou frowned. The scary thing was, she was younger. Naomi was eighteen. She'd had a baby by the age of fifteen, and had done her best to be a good mother. Her parents had been judged harshly by their neighbours and friends, so Naomi had moved out, getting a small apartment with her baby daddy.

"Look, Amon, I don't mean to be rude, but I've had a long night, and all I want to do is go home and sleep." She changed the subject smoothly, using her stitched hand to push her hair out of her face. Amon scoffed, his brow creasing.

"Do you think I'm going to leave you all alone out here? And before you say I'm just being an overbearing misogynist, I'm not. Do you know what Shinohara will do to me if he finds out I left you? I won't make it to the end of the week, that's for sure. So sorry, you're stuck with me." He looked pretty smug, but she was too tired to care. Juuzou sighed, rubbing her temples in frustration.

"Alright, fine! But I'm going now." She stood up, uncomfortably aware of the odd feeling between her legs. She managed to stop herself stumbling as she readjusted to standing, moving slowly.

Amon followed her, keeping up easily. He was silent for a good ten minutes before he finally spoke up.

"Are you hurt? You're walking like you're in pain." He didn't move to stop her, just kept his eyes on her. Juuzou felt herself sag, giving up. She just wanted to sleep! Was that too much to ask? She didn't want this giant following her home, or to be forced to converse with him. She wanted him to go away and leave her alone. She could be cheerful, quirky Juuzou in the morning.

"Juuzou?" He prompted when he recorded no answer. Juuzou wasn't the type to get embarrassed. The only thing that she had found bothered her were the scars that covered at least half of her body, and the invasive nature of hospitals. So, she hardly hesitated when snapping her reply.

"I don't feel pain like you do, Amon... Why would a normal person have been out, walking home alone at this time of night?"

Amon's cheeks quickly became a deep red, his eyes wide. He couldn't seem to make the idea sit in his mind, borderline amazed. She had had a one night stand. Juuzou Suzuya had had sex.

"O-oh! I, um... I don't know what to say." He admitted, flushed. Juuzou rolled her eyes, ignoring him.

"Are- are you... Do you do this often?" He seemed to settle on a question after a moment of stuttering, though he seemed to regret it almost immediately.

"No, Amon. I'm not a whore. I was curious, and now I'm not. You don't need to act like it's such an alien concept, Seidou talks about it all the time." She sidestepped a crack in the pavement, her elegant movements suddenly forcing Amon to see her as she was.

Juuzou was an attractive young woman. Looking her up and down, despite the sleepy frown currently taking up the lover half of her face, Amon could see the delicate slopes of her hips, the small swell of her chest. She looked like a china doll, and he could see where others would find the appeal. It was strange, seeing this side of Juuzou. She was usually buried under baggy clothes and a crazed smile, not sashaying in heels and a particularly fitted dress.

"I wasn't saying... You didn't do this just out of curiosity, did you?" He didn't want to believe it, but with the look she shot him, he could tell that was the truth.

"Why wouldn't you just ask?"

"Sometimes, it's better to learn things for yourself. Now I know, and I won't have to spend any time wondering." She doubted she would regret it. Yeah, it wasn't exactly romantic, but it pretty much summed up the rest of her life. It was quick and hard, and she ultimately got what she aimed for.

"Juuzou... I don't like the idea of you being out here all alone. I don't think you understa-"

"Don't tell me I don't understand." She warned, scowling. Amon stopped, eyes wide.

"I am not a stupid little girl, Amon. I was raised like a ghoul, by a ghoul. I know all to well how dangerous this world can be. Don't underestimate me. And you'd do well to remember that plenty of humans out there are just as bad, if not worse than the ghouls. Most ghouls kill to eat and protect themselves, humans kill for other reasons entirely." Some of the worst treatment she had received in her life had been at the hand of humans. It wasn't the ghouls who were calling her names or telling her she was wrong. Physical abuse was sometimes better, especially when you couldn't truly process pain.

"That's true... But that doesn't mean you're untouchable. You're still human, just like me and the rest of the CCG."

Juuzou laughed, shaking her head. She had a wonderful laugh, really. It wasn't exactly rare, but it was bright and immediate. He liked it.

"I'm the most dangerous human you will meet, maybe besides Arima. But I guess I'm still worse. I don't have the same brain, I'm told." She paused, pointing to her head. Her tone changed, mimicking Shinohara.

"Juuzou, you just don't understand! Humans are not ghouls, you can't attack them!"

"Well, that's not exactly wrong..."

"What would you be without your weapon, Amon? Would you still be considered a hazard?" She wasn't sure why she asked. It wasn't like the question related to the subject. But the words left her mouth none the less. Amon was quiet for a moment, considering.

"No, I don't believe I would be. I'm not considered naturally violent. Even with a weapon, I use it very carefully. I only attack when I must." His reply was well put, and exactly what she had been expecting. She met his gaze squarely.

"Well, I am. I don't need a weapon to cause pain, or even a reason. I'm crazy. My brain doesn't work right, and I know it. I don't understand feelings or anything like that. Everything I do or say is evaluated, and every day I am one step closer to being put down. Do you honestly think they can afford to keep someone like me long-term?" Speech over, she focused once more on where she was going. Juuzou knew he was thinking over everything she had said, making connections in his mind. They weren't far from her home now, so she had sped up slightly.

"I don't think you're a hazard." He uttered. His voice was only just more than a whisper, but she caught it. She could see her building, so she dug in her pocket for her keys.

"You should. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean they're wrong. I'm a monster, and it's only a matter of time until they see how deep that goes." She smiled, attempting to lighten the mood. They had reached the front door of her building, and the pair had paused. "So I'll just have to enjoy as much as I can until then, won't I?"

Amon seemed shocked, but he nodded none the less. Juuzou hesitated before placing one of her small hands on his arm, smiling gently.

"You're a good man, Amon. Look after yourself."

With one last smile, she opened the door, waving tiredly over her shoulder. Amon watched as she climbed up the steps slowly, dragging her feet. He waited a moment before turning and heading for the street. It was about time he got himself home, after all. He wasn't sure of what to make of Juuzou Suzuya. She was so much to take in, he wasn't sure how to feel about her.

Inside the building, Juuzou crashed into her apartment, ignoring the various objects in her way as she stumbled to her bed. She collapsed face down, fully dressed. She was asleep in seconds.