Chapter 31

The New Headmaster

August 28, 1997

"It has been over a week since I have spoken to him," I exclaimed with exasperation as I laid next to Draco in his bed, our clothes thrown about the room.

"Is this really the time to be talking about Severus Snape," said Draco with similar exasperation to me.

"You're right," I told him, "but it has been over a week and we live together!"

I heard him sigh irritably beside me.

Draco and I never really talked, unless you counted the polite greetings we shared before ripping each other's clothes off; our relationship was not exactly verbal.

"You must have really made him angry," said Draco carelessly, bored with me bringing up Severus's name again.

I was quiet.

"What is it that you did anyway?" he asked, his tone suggesting that he didn't really care.

"That is not important," I said softly. "But don't you think that he is being immature?"

"Yes," Draco droned for the fiftieth time.

"I mean, I live with him," I pointed out again. "The only times I ever see him is at meetings and even there he pretends I don't exist."

After my initial guilt had worn off about what I had said about Lily Potter, I began to feel irritated with Severus for staying angry with me. He murdered my sister so you would think that he could have just let the Lily comment slide and call it even. Wait, what am I saying, it could never be even.

"Well, in his defense," said Draco slyly, "he has not had much time to see you, because you have been here with me." He kissed the top of my head. I could tell he was trying to get the conversation back down the path he liked best.

I rose up my right hand to eye level and examined the gold ring on my finger, the ring that Severus had given me as a Christmas present about a billion years ago, the ring I could never bring myself to chuck no matter how mad I was at my cousin, the ring I never took off. Its single ruby glistened in the dim light from the many candles around the room.

"He talked to me you know," said Draco quietly.

I shifted on my side to look him in the face. He looked back at me seriously. "When?" I asked anxiously.

"Just yesterday," Draco said passively.

I sat up in bed and Draco grudgingly followed suit.

"Well, why didn't you tell me this?" I asked indignantly.

Draco just shrugged. "Dunno."

"What do you mean you don't know?" I said giving his arm a little push; he liked it and smiled at my touch. "Well out with it then, what did Severus say to you?"

Draco's grin faded. "He told me to stay away from you."

My eyes widened. "Really?" I asked. Severus really must care about me then after all. He is worried about me. He must love me! But it is not like I cared or anything about what he thought.

"Yeah," Draco said sternly. "He said if I knew what was best for me that I would stay away from you."

Oh how sweet! I thought. He was playing the over protective brother. He must love me! But I don't care!

"What did you say?" I asked excitedly now.

Draco grinned at me. "Of course I told him that I certainly would not stay away from you."

"Oh my God," I said digging my fingernails into my arm. "I bet he didn't like that."

"No he didn't," smiled Draco.

"Then what happened?" I pressed him.

"Then," said Draco as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, kissing the back of my neck, "he pulled out his wand and pointed it directly at my heart."

"And then?" I asked.

Draco ran his hands across my chest. "And then he said that I shouldn't take complete advantage of you, like I have been doing and I shouldn't have done that thing to you that I did last night." He laughed.

I pulled away and turned to look at him.

"And then he told me I should stop being so brilliant at shagging so I wouldn't be so irresistible to you, he knows you can't keep your hands off me. OW!" said Draco because I had just hit in the ribs. "What the hell was that for?"

"You complete ass," I said, not sure if I was really mad or just playing. I lay back down and covered my face with the bed sheets.

"Why are you hiding?" Draco asked as he poked at me through the covers.

"Because," I said on the verge of tears, "I am angry with you."

"Come on," said Draco huffily. "I was just having a laugh."

"You lied about speaking to Severus," I said, I small sob could be heard in my voice.

There was a long pause. "I didn't lie," said Draco defensively.

I resurfaced from my hiding place to give him a reproachful glare.

"I didn't," said Draco.

"Right," I said my tone dripping with sarcasm.

"No," said Draco frankly. "He really did speak to me."

I raise my eyebrows.

"After the meeting," Draco explained. "You had already disapparated and he came up to me and told me to stay away from you."

"Was that it?" I asked.

"Yeah," said Draco. "It was just in passing, really. Not a big concern."

"So the part about you being good at shagging wasn't true," I asked giggling.

Draco lay back down and wrapped me in his arms. "Well, it is true," he said slyly, "I am brilliant at shagging, but Snape didn't say it."

I laughed "Oh goodness, I'd hope not."

Draco laughed too. "Well, I am pretty great," he stated proudly.

"I wouldn't know." I said teasingly.

"What?" he said a little surprised. "What do you mean?"

"You were my first," I explained playfully. "So I have no one to compare you to. You could be complete rubbish as far as I know."

"Well," said Draco a bit put off. "I assure you I am amazing."

"Really?" I laughed.

"Really," whispered Draco.

August 29, 1997

I got up and began putting on my clothes, being especially careful I put on everything right side out.

I kissed Draco in goodbye and spun on the spot, apparating to Spinner's End.

After I realized Severus was avoiding me, I stopped bothering sneaking into the house discreetly and just apparated directly into the room in which I slept.

The tiny, old bed beckoned me to it. I never got much sleep in Draco's bed and since I had been spending so much time there lately, I really was quite tired.

I collapsed onto the bed with a sigh of relief, not even bothering to change my clothes.

Sleep was about to take me when my two halves began bickering. And suddenly I could no longer rest, being too distracted by the pain as my heart began dividing itself.

"So Severus does care. He is concerned about us. He spoke to Draco," said my Severus loving half. "So take that!"

"Oh please," said my other half. "He is probably angry that we are getting laid and he isn't."

"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" said my Severus loving half.

"You are so naïve," pointed out the other half. "When has Severus ever cared about us?"

"Now!" screamed the Severus loving half, getting really frustrated now. "He is worried about us, why else would he have told Draco to stay away from us?"

"He probably is afraid we will get caught and make him look bad," said my other half in a tone of hopelessness, which was worse than the yelling.

"Shut up!" I said out loud to myself.

"Who are you speaking to?" asked a low voice.

I sat up. Severus stood in the doorway. His expression was unreadable.

I couldn't answer him right away because I was so shocked to see him standing there, talking to me. "No one," I finally managed to say.

He contemplated me for a moment, but quickly moved on as if deciding to just ignore my insanity.

"Here," he said roughly as he lightly tossed a small pouch onto the end of the bed. It made a jingling sound as it hit its target.

I reached for the pouch and curiously pulled it open. There were galleons inside.

I looked up at Severus with confusion.

"That is for your school things," he told me.

"My school things?" I asked.

"Yes," he said a little impatiently, "your school books and supplies for Hogwarts.

"Hogwarts?" I said dimly.

"That is where you attend school, is it not?" Severus mocked.

"Yes," I began, "but I didn't think there was going to be a Hogwarts for me this year."

Severus stared at me again as if trying to figure me out.

"The Dark Lord," he began.

I sighed, becoming very sick of having to think about Voldemort. Once you are a deatheater, you can be nothing else. When Voldemort is around we discuss the best ways to do his bidding. When he isn't around we discuss the best ways to do his bidding so that he wouldn't kill us. So when ever Severus or any other Deatheater begins a sentence with 'The Dark Lord,' I prepare myself to do something horrible in his service.

"The Dark Lord," said Severus again, scowling at me, "wants you to attend Hogwarts as a spy. No one knows you are in his service and no one has to if you are smart about it."

"Wait," I said stunned. "That is what his great plan is for my mind shield, spying at Hogwarts." I let out a humorless laugh, thinking that this was a really stupid reason for my family to die. Did Lord Voldemort really want me to sneak around at Hogwarts and listen to the meaningless conversations of horny teenagers? I could just imagine my reports to The Dark Lord. "Well, My Lord, I overheard Susan telling Justin that Katie said that Hannah has a crush on Neville, but is too scared to tell him."

"There are two reasons that The Dark Lord is giving you this task," Severus told me.

"Well," I pressed him impatiently.

He scowled. "One," he said. "The Dark Lord needs to have a watch over all the staff and students at Hogwarts. He needs to be certain of their obedience." He paused. "The second reason is that he does not trust you enough to give you any other job."

"I was hoping he would ask me to be a spy in the Order of the Phoenix and then maybe I could have done a bit of good," I said softly. "I could have been a double agent; I could have helped the Order, like you."

"That is a ridiculous idea," said Severus coldly.

"I know that," I said bitterly. "I just only hoped."

Severus was silently staring at me, yet again, trying to hear my thoughts, trying yet failing miserably.

"There is going to have to be a new headmaster," I suddenly realizing. To me Dumbledore still resided in the circular headmaster's office, still pacing, working and protecting his students.

"Yes," hissed Severus.

"Who?" I asked nervously.

"Me," Severus said sharply.

"You?" I said with surprise, "but I thought…"

"The Dark Lord has taken control of many things," said Severus suddenly emotionless. "Hogwarts included."

I thought about this for a moment.

"What?" asked Severus, who had been watching me.

I looked at him for a moment. "Oh nothing really," I said, "I was just contemplating if I am happy about this news or not."

"Happy about The Dark Lord controlling the school?" Severus asked slowly.

"Oh God, no," I whispered, more to myself than to Severus. "I meant, I wasn't sure if I am happy about you being headmaster or not."

There was a long silence in which Severus scowled profusely and I tried to mentally count how many people knew that he was the one who blasted the old headmaster off the astronomy tower.

"Will you protect the students, from him?" I asked, looking directly into Severus's eyes.

He broke my gaze and stared out the window where the sun was just beginning to rise. The sunlight fell over Severus's face, but instead of warming his features, it somehow made him look stonier and older.

"I will do all I am able," he said in an emotionless whisper.

I stood and approached him carefully.

"Severus?" I asked after a minute.

He slowly turned to look at me once more.

"What?" he hissed.

"Why were you the one to do it?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, even though he knew what I meant.

"Why were you the one to kill Sidney?" I asked firmly.

He turned to the window again, squinting in the light.

"Well?" I said my voice rising.

"It was necessary," Severus said impassively, still gazing out the window. It annoyed me that he wouldn't meet my eyes. It annoyed me that he didn't sound effected by what he had done.

"You murdered my little sister!" I said angrily. "At least you could do me the courtesy of looking at me, when I am speaking to you!"

Pain shot through Severus's face as he continued to gaze out the window, but it was only momentary; his expression quickly became cold and emotionless again.

The two halves of my segregated heart began to run in different directions again as I stared at Severus; I could almost hear my heart ripping in two. Hate and love bubbled inside me.

"LOOK AT ME!" I screamed at him.

He turned his stony face to me. His eyes were so blank he might as well not have been looking at me at all. He reached into his robes and pulled out a heavy sheet of parchment.

"Your school list," he said in a deep monotone.

I ripped it away from him.

"Thanks," I said sharply.

Severus turned to leave, but stopped half way between me and the exit.

"It would look very suspicious," he began still turned away from me, "if a Gryffindor and Slytherin were constantly seen together at Hogwarts," he paused. "So stay away from Draco Malfoy," As he spoke Draco's name, anger could be heard in his once dead tone.

"What house was Lily in?" I asked with cruel curiosity.

He ignored my question. "And stay away from me," Severus said pointedly.

I opened my mouth as if to state that I would never want to be near him again, but the half of me that loved Severus would not let me speak such words and it cried at the ideas of staying away from him.

"That should not be difficult for you," hissed Severus as he reached for the door knob, "because I killed you sister."

Severus shut the door hard behind him.

"Severus!" Cried half of my heart, as it tried to run after him.

The other half of my heart said nothing, but thought of Sidney, Sidney laughing, Sidney singing loudly out of key, Sidney stealing my clothes, Sidney eating ice cream, Sidney telling me she loves me.

Images of her flashed before my closed eyes as I lay on the bed. I saw her looking so pale, so frightened, our parents dead and she had no more will within her to live. Then I could almost hear my beloved cousin's still voice utter the unforgiving words. Then a flash of green light, eliminated Sidney's hopeless face, and then she was no more.