Chapter 9. The kiss

In the evening, I spent my time sitting with Remus in the common room by the fireplace. We were both reading. It was quite nice to just be with someone without really doing anything together. I had hanged out with Robert so intensely this afternoon that I just needed to take a mind break, and then Remus was the perfect medicine. I actually ended up only listening to his slow breathing and soft changing of pages. I made my seat more comfortable by sliding down a bit on the couch and closed my book and put it beside me. Then I closed my eyes and continued to listen to Remus' breaths.

I had almost fallen asleep when a few people came in and spoke loudly so that everyone could hear them. I was about to raise to see which idiots they were, but then I suddenly recognized their voices. Or, well, his voice at least. Ally was only giggling hysterically, something she always did when she was with guys she liked. I thought her giggling was usually very disturbing, and that was an understatement now. I raised myself up a bit so I could see over the back of the couch. Sirius had a tickle fight with Ally and when he saw me he stopped and straightened up. When Ally did the same, he pulled her closely to him and kissed her very passionately. But it was a short one, and right after he pushed her away and came forward to where Remus and I sat. I glanced at Ally a final time and she looked at me with a very satisfied expression before turning to the stairs, because she knew I had seen everything. But, what did it matters to me? He had sunk to such a low level in my eyes just a few seconds earlier that he meant nothing more, if he even had meant something from the beginning at all.

Sirius rounded the couch I sat on, and for a moment, I thought he was going to sit at the other end, like a normal person, but no. He practically forced his body as close as possible to mine and all I could do was giving him an angry stare.

"Hello people", he said as an answer to my glare. "What are you up to, huh?"

"We're reading", Remus responded and looked at me. I just stared into the fire, not moving the smallest limb of my body.

"You're not reading, Iz", Sirius pointed out, putting his arm around me. I moved away a bit from the back of the couch so that his arm would not touch me.

"How clever of you to see that.", I said and looked back at him. "I didn't actually know you had that much brain capacity, if we should relate your intelligence to your acts."

"Are you mad at me?", he asked, sounding a bit amused.

"No, I'm not. You've just made it clear for me that you're that kind of person that I don't want to be close to. At all.", I answered, and looking with burning eyes at the nonexistent space between us. He sighed and moved away a bit and picked up my book as I turned my eyes to the fire again. He flipped to the backside and started to read it in silence.

"Why are you reading this crap? That kind of fairytale romance will never happen in real life", he said and I snapped the book out of his hands.

"No it won't. Sad, isn't it?", I replied as I put the book between my leg and the border of the couch. An uncomfortable silence followed and I let out a big sigh.

"I'm off here", I finally said and got up and headed to the stairs of the dorm. "Goodnight, Remus."

"G'night", he mumbled behind his book and sent a quick smile my way before he continued reading.

"Wait", Sirius demanded and I stopped unwillingly and waited for him to come up to me. I turned and looked up at him in wonder. "I mean, when are we going to practice again? For our assignment..."

"Never, I hope", I answered and started walking again, but Sirius reached out for my arm and pulled me back to him.

"Seriously.", he said and there was intensity in his eyes now. I was mesmerized by them for a short moment before a laugh bubbled up inside me when his words finally reached me. He looked at me curiously, trying to find out what was so funny.

"You're such an egocentric idiot", I said after I had calmed down a bit.

"I know. So, I can't practice tomorrow 'cause it's quidditch training, but on Saturday? Then we will have the whole day together..."

"Ah, that's a pity. But well, Saturday's good."

"Yeah, great", Sirius said with a slight sour tone and I went to the stairs and up to my dorm.

When I came into my room there was an intense chattering from Ally's bed, and I looked over and saw about ten girls all trying to fit into that one bed. In the middle of them sat Ally herself like a queen. She looked at me with a superior face, and I just raised my eyebrows in return as I went to my own bed. As I walked by them, everyone went silent and watch my every step and when I had reached my goal they returned their attention to Ally again. I opened my book and pretended to read, but I was more eager to hear what they were talking about.

"So what, you're like together now?", someone asked. I did not bother who, because I was concentrating on hearing Ally's answer.

"No, of course not. It's only been one day yet", she said and there was an assent mumble afterwards.

"But they're on the right track to get there", Diane added.

"Is he a good kisser?", a girl named Sarah asked and everyone reached forward eagerly.

"Oh, yes. He's the best I've ever kissed in my life.", Ally answered and shot out a jet of small hearts with her wand over them and I could not stop the snorting beginning of a huge laugh from escaping my body. I put my hand before my mouth, trying to smother the sound, but I understood I was unsuccessful because they all had stopped talking and looked at me.

"Jealous 'cause you didn't get to make out with him when you still had the chance, Izabel?", Ally asked me in a really cocky tone and I looked up at her.

"No, Ally. I'm not jealous. And I actually wonder how you can call those two seconds your lips touched for 'making out', and call him the best kisser for the same reason", I answered and she got silent for a short while. The girls around her started to fidget a bit and I returned to my book, satisfied with the situation.

"Those two seconds are more than you will ever get anyway!", Ally threw out at last. I looked up at her again, seeing her anger growing.

"Yeah, 'cause I don't go for players!", I snapped back and her face turned reddish. "He's playing with you because he wants to make m-... Someone else jealous!"

I almost made a huge mistake but I was fast enough to save my own skin from burning. Robert's words had got stuck in my mind, and I had thought about it a lot since he mentioned it. Sirius only acted this way when I was around, and what if he actually liked me? It did not certainly mean that I liked him back. Of course he is good looking, and nice when he wants to be, but when we have been hanging out together, just us two, there is a different side of him coming up to the surface. If I was ever going to like him in any way, it would be when he acts like he does then.

"Hmpf. Maybe we should switch place so that Izabel doesn't have to feel so jealous that she's starting to make up imaginary lies", Ally said and everyone raised from her bed and went after her into the room next to ours. I let out a big sigh of relief and picked up my book to start reading for real this time, but my mind did not allow me to get away from my earlier thoughts. What if I was just making everything about Sirius up, and then again, why would I do that? Because I wanted him to like me? Did that mean that I actually liked him too?

I closed the book and hit myself in the head with it. I did not like that selfish idiot, and most important of all, I did not fall in love.

Concentrating when you are irritated is harder than I thought. After my third try I could still not make a feather good enough to compete with my fail-feathers from last time I practiced. The anger grew inside me and I put so much effort in burning the feather that it made a black spot at the table.

"You really suck today, Iz!", Sirius said in a joking tone. But right now I could not take anything as a joke, especially not something he said.

"Do it better yourself then!", I hissed at him.

"We both know I can do everything better than you", he answered, obviously not caring about my bad mood. I gave him a dark glare before turning around and heading for the door.

"Hey!", he said, hurrying after me, gripping my arm and pulling me back to him again. "Wait, Iz. It was just a joke. Come on, let's try again."

"No, I don't want to.", I said, without looking at him.

"Why not?"

"I have other things to do."

"Like what?"

"Like not being with you.", I said and finally looked at him. His facial expression was surprised, but he also looked a bit hurt by my words, but right now I did not care.

"Don't assume that everyone wants to be with you, Sirius.", I said and took a step closer to him and looked him deep into the eyes. "Everyone doesn't like that hot guy who's been with almost every girl in the entire school. And yeah, by the way, how's Ally?"

"I thought you wanted me to hook up with Ally", he said and raised one eyebrow as I snorted.

"She has been in love with you for very long, I was just trying to help."

"But did you want to get us together?"

"She wanted it."

"Yeah, I know that now, but did you want it?"

"No."

We looked into each others eyes for a long time. His grey eyes sank deep into mine, like he was trying to find another answer to a question he had not yet asked, but I closed every door.

"I'll give this shit a final try, and then I'm off", I said and broke our eye contact. Sirius seemed to be a bit absent for a short moment but quickly came back to reality. I put my wand out and concentrated. But I found it a bit disturbing that he stood right behind me, so close that we almost touched, and at the same time it was kind of comforting. I took a deep breath and cast the spell. A perfect feather came out of my wand and fell down on the table next to its original twin.

"You made it", Sirius murmured into my ear. I turned around to face him with a big smile, suddenly feeling very happy again. He smiled back at me satisfied.

"Oh my god, that was awesome!", I said and could not hold my feelings back anymore as I threw myself at him and hugged him. "Thank you!"

Sirius was a bit overtaken by my reaction, but found himself in it fast and hugged me back. When we let go of each other I suddenly felt a bit embarrassed and my cheeks probably turned red, but he smiled his mischievous smile at me.

"So that's the key; make you angry", he said and looked a bit victorious.

"I wouldn't go for that kind of tactics if I were you", I said and raised an eyebrow at him. "Plus, I don't get angry very often."

"Should I take that as a threat or a challenge?", he asked as I started to pack all my stuff into my bag.

"Neither. You should take it as an advice if you're smart", I said as we headed to the door.

"Well, we both already know I'm the smartest of us two", he said and I tried to hit him but he caught my hand and looked at me.

"I know you wanna take any chance to touch me, but please don't make up too many reasons for hitting me. You can touch me in any other way whenever you like", he said and winked.

"Dream on. Go and play with someone who falls for your pathetic flirting", I said and released my hand and continued walking. He came up to my side easily again in a few steps.

"You jealous, Iz?", he asked, sounding slightly superior.

"No. You can do whatever you like with anyone you like. I'm going to work on the jinx with Robbie."

That made Sirius silent for a minute. We walked side by side, heading for the Gryffindor tower. When we were almost there, Sirius finally spoke again.

"Isn't he gay?", he asked and I stopped and looked at him incredibly. He smiled a bit back at me.

"No? And what if? He's still nicer than you!", I answered and continued on forward.

"But he's still a jerk", he said and I chuckled.

"Someone else who's jealous now, huh?"

"No, no. I'm never jealous. I can get every girl he ever dreamed of without even doing anything. I snap my fingers and they will all come running at me!"

"Well how good for you, then I'll get Robbie for myself", I said as we stopped at the fat lady. "Go have fun with all your girlfriends and I'll see you tomorrow at the same time."

I spoke the password and stepped into the common room, the last thing I saw was Sirius' surprised and for once a bit unsatisfied facial expression before the door separated us.