Saying Goodbye

by Curved Silence of Ishtar

Dealing with life is hard enough, but when you being illness into the mix, you never know what to expect. This is going to be a dark one, so please don't read it if you want warm fuzziness. There is not going to be a lot of that here. I have not written in a very long time, so please bear with me as I remember how to do this... Rating for cursing and dark subject matter.

22. Chapter 22

Patient Sans,

I am sorry for doing this to all of you. I know that this is going to be hard, but I know that you will all get through it. I will miss you.

Don't wait around, alright? I promised that there would be no more resets all that time ago, and now I know that I couldn't do it even if I wanted to. I lost my power a long time ago. I don't know when exactly, but I suppose that it couldn't last forever. I only noticed when I wanted to go back after that big fight we had a little before this all started, when we thought that it might be the last time we would be speaking.

I'm sorry for the things I said then.

I know that you did most of the work with mom when I got to the point that I couldn't do as much on my own. I am so grateful for your patience and love through it all, even on the days that I know that I did not deserve for any of you to have any for me anymore.

You have always been a constant in my life, and I will miss you so much. I want you to remember me like I was, but I want you to not stay stuck in the past. I know how you can be, so don't try to deny that you hold on to some things for far too long.

I don't know what comes after this, and honestly, I am scared. I have always heard that there is an afterlife, but if there is, I have never seen anything that would tell me one way or another. I will find out soon enough I suppose. Assuming that there is one, I will be sure to put in a good word for everybody. I hope that monsters and humans go to the same place, otherwise I will just have to wander around until I stumble into wherever it is monsters go. It worked for me once, right?

Sans covered his mouth with his free hand, stifling the sounds that tried to force their way up and out of him. His eyes were blurred as he read, pictures flashing by in his head. Your laughs, your tears, your nearly constant joyful radiance...

I hope that it didn't rain today. Rain may not be always, but it makes people so sad, and I don't want that. I know that I caused the sadness myself when I chose to stop fighting anymore. I had to stop, Sans. I knew that it was not going to end well for me, and I made the choice to go with some peace at home with the people that I love rather than in a hospital.

I hope that you can forgive me for leaving you behind someday.

All my love until we see each other again,

Me

AN: I am not sure if this is going to be the end or not. I feel like it is, but I may have one more in me to finish this off. Thank you all for sticking with it. As always, please don't be afraid to write a review and let me know what you think. Have a wonderful day everybody. And if it is raining, just remember that it isn't always.