Chapter 13. The game

"Are you sure?", Sirius asked me as I got up from where I sat and turned around the table and headed to the door, only giving him a simple nod as an answer. He got up too and ran after me, but he almost stumbled at little professor Flitwick who had just arrived to the classroom.

"Oh, watch out, Mr Black!", he said as he jumped out of Sirius' way and then turned around and looked at us with a surprised expression. "Where are you two going?"

"To the Headmaster's office!", I shouted back without stopping. I was in a hurry, there was something wrong with me and Dumbledore had to fix me before it was too late.

"Hey! Izzie! Slow down a bit!", I heard Sirius shout from behind as I started to run through the corridors. He was faster than me and soon I felt someone hanging in my bag and forced me to slow down. I turned around and looked at him, not knowing if I felt angry with him or if it was because of the panic inside me that grew for every second.

"I don't think he's here at Hogwarts at all", he told me.

"You don't think? I have to know", I answered and was just about to spin around and continue when he put up a piece of parchment from the inner pocket of his robe.

"I'll check it for you", he said as he put up his wand and pointed at the empty parchment. "I solemnly swear that I'm-"

"Oh, come on, Sirius! I'm not up for your freakin' jokes now for heaven's sake!", I shouted at him and felt the tears stream down on my cheeks.

"I'm not joking! Just wait a second, okay?", he said a bit frustrated and began to say the same sentence again.

"You know what? I'm not gonna stand here and look at you when you're showing off your stupidity anymore."

I began to walk but he caught my arm and pulled me to one of the walls and blocked my way with himself. I felt the butterflies flying around in my stomach, and I really had to fight to not blush. What was wrong with me, why did I even care about how close he was for the moment?

"Look here", he said and showed me the parchment, which was no longer empty. A detailed map was painted over it, and the place he pointed his wand at was big room with the words 'Headmaster's office' written over it.

"That doesn't show if he's there or not."

"If he had been there, his name would've been visible. Look down here."

Sirius pointed at another part of the map, where two small spots were placed out with both our names next to them. I frowned at the map; before I looked up into his eyes that were very close to mine now.

"Where did you get this?", I asked him with a broken voice.

"I made it", he said and I could feel his warm breath touch my face and make my cheeks burn again.

"Did you…- Now?"

"No, no. We've made it together, me, James, Peter and Remus."

I could not speak, because I was absolutely stunned by the map in his hand. They had made it, all by themselves? How talented were these boys?

"Come. Let's go somewhere and wait for him. We'll see when he arrives", Sirius said as he got away from me. He waved at me to come with him and I sighed before I pushed off from the wall and followed him.

"Where are we going?", I asked.

"Where do you want to go?"

"To a place where I've never been before."

He looked down at me with a wondering expression, before he looked at the map, searching for something.

"Ah, now I know", he said after a few seconds. "Let's go to the seventh floor."

I followed him without any objections. Everything could be better than what my situation was for the moment. I concentrated on looking at my feet as I walked and did not realize Sirius had stopped before I suddenly bumped into him. He looked up at the wall and frowned a bit before he glanced down at me.

"Just wait a minute, Iz, and then afterwards we can be as close as you want us to be", he said and winked at me when I glanced up at him. I just crossed my arms and waited, just like he had told me. He began to walk back and forth and I raised my eyebrows questioning. When he came my way for the third time I noticed that the wall began to change, and a big door grew out from it. Sirius opened it and walked in, and I slowly walked after him into a huge room full of things.

"Close the door", he said and I quickly got back a few steps and pulled the big and heavy door towards me until I heard the locker click. When I turned around, Sirius was gone. I spun around and searched in every direction, but he was no where to be found.

"Sirius?", I shouted with panic in my voice, but got no answer. I rushed forward to where I had seen him last, in between two high walls of piled up things. There was a small passageway that crossed the one I was in, and I quickly looked to the left and screamed his name desperately as I searched with my eyes through the gloomy light.

"I'm here, Izzie", I heard him say and spun around and found him ten meters away from me.

"Why didn't you answer me?", I asked him angrily as I walked towards him.

"Hey, calm down. I didn't hear you, and I didn't know it was this important for you to be near me either", he said and gave me another wink.

"Why are you acting like this?", I asked him, still a bit irritated.

"I don't know, they like it", he said and slowly walked on as he searched with his eyes over a table full of different ancient war instruments.

"Who are 'they'?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"All the other… Girls. Not you apparently, but you're different", he said as he picked up a silver dagger and looked at it closely.

"Yeah, apparently I am different", I said sourly and walked pass him towards something big in the end of the small passageway. It was a big mirror I realized as I came closer.

"Hey, I didn't mean it that way", he said and I heard his footsteps as he came up to me, and we both stood in front of the mirror next to each other.

"Then what way did you mean?", I asked and looked at the decorated frame where a few strange words were inscribed.

"I didn't even think about your sudden squibbiness, I just-", he began, but interrupted himself when I gave him a dark gaze. "Sorry, I just think you're so much more than they are. They're all the same, like open books, but you… You're special. In a good way."

I snorted when he said the last thing, just to cover my sudden diffidence.

"You're special too, but sometimes I just can't decide if it's in a good or a bad way", I said and he chuckled a little.

"Like this mirror then."

I looked at him curiously and he took a step closer me, making a nod its way to get me to look into it. I did, and at first, I saw nothing else than just us two standing in the exact same way as we did, but then, something changed. I saw Sirius' hand take mine and then our fingers intertwined. I got a bit chocked, and made a quick glance at our real hands. They were not even touching at all. I made a small exhalation and looked up at him with a questioning expression.

"You get it?", he asked, smiling.

"Not really, no."

"It shows you your most desired wish. The thing you want the most in the whole world."

"Are you…- Are you sure about that?", I asked him and frowned at the reflection of us.

"Yeah, that's what the text says on top of it", he said and pointed at the strange words again and I raised my eyebrows.

"My sudden loss of magic must have given me a slow brain, 'cause I don't get it", I said and he snorted.

"If you put it into one long word and read it backwards you'll get it."

I tried again and read it backwards as he told me to do, and found out that he was right. It said 'I show not your face but your heart's desire', and as I looked at the reflection again Sirius leaned down to me and kissed me gently. I stiffened in my whole body and felt the butterflies come to life inside me again. Was he my greatest wish? My heart's desire?

"So", the real Sirius said, and brought me back to reality. "Wanna tell me what you see?"

"No", I said, but a little too fast, because he looked at me a bit surprised before he smirked.

"Why?"

"Because… It's kind of embarrassing", I said and looked up at him, and he gave me an encouraging look back. "I should see my father there, alive with me, but I don't."

"That doesn't mean you didn't love him the most", Sirius said and I smiled at him.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. But I'm not even sad, I just feel so empty, like a big part of me disappeared with him."

"Well, technically it did."

"Ha! I can't even keep my magical powers, or cry over my dead father, how worthless can a person be?", I said and felt how I was beginning to lose it all. I glanced into the mirror and saw myself in Sirius' arms and then I snorted.

"Here", Sirius said and gave me his wand and I looked up at him questioning. "Take it. Then I can't produce any advanced magic either, and to be honest with you, I wouldn't cry if my father died."

I slowly took his wand, feeling very surprised by his announcement. When I glanced up at him, he smiled at me and I laughed a little.

"Why are you doing this?", I said and he shrugged before he answered.

"You deserve some appreciation, and I want to be 'special in a good way', of course."

"You obviously already are."

"How come?", he asked and I looked up at him, into his intense, grey eyes before I looked at the mirror.

"Because what I see in this", I said and pointed at it. "Is you."

He did not answer me, and I was frightened of looking at him as the butterflies were no longer kept to only my stomach. My whole body was ruled by anguish, relief and surprise as for I did not know how much he really meant to me before now, only because I had not wanted to know. No one wanted to be in love with Sirius Black, because we all knew how the fairytale always ended. But still, at this moment, it really felt like he was different. Like he cared about me, just as much as I cared about him. And as I finally had courage enough to glance up at him again, I saw something I never thought I would see. His expression showed astonishment, and his eyes were sparkly as never before, but he did not smile as he always did. Then suddenly, he changed the astonishment to determination and put his hand around my neck and leaned down and kissed me just as gently as the Sirius in the reflection had done just a moment earlier. His lips were soft and tentative against mine, and I put one of my hands on his shoulder, as for the other one still held his wand. He was just about to put his arm around my waist when a loud crash made me jump high and push myself away from him. In the same small passageway as we were in, a part of the wall had fallen in and someone tried to get up from the mess he or she had caused.

"Who's there?", Sirius asked and took a few steps forward. There was no answer from the person, but as he came loose and stood up, I immediately recognized him.

"Severus Snape?"

"What the hell are you doing here, Snivellus?"

"Only my duty, Black. Or, I was actually here before you, but when I heard about your girlfriend's disgraceful… Faults, I felt like I really needed to see who it was."

"One more word about Izabel and I'll give you wounds that are worse than what you could ever imagine", Sirius growled and I saw his fists tighten with fury.

"Nothing could be worse than what she already has, and by the way, maybe I should tell a few people about it, I bet they're very interested in her", Snape said and Sirius spun around and reached out his hand towards me. He frightened me, because he was so extremely angry, and I new that if I gave him the wand now, he would do something really bad. I put the hand, which held his wand, behind my own back and glanced at him cautiously.

"Give it to me."

"No."

"For fucks sake, Izzie! Give it to me!"

"No! This is just stupid; just don't care about him and his meaningless gibber!"

"You're the one who's stupid. You don't understand this."

His words hit me like knives through the heart, and I did not even react when he pulled out my wand from my pocket and started to duel with Snape. I almost did not register that he was much better than his opponent, and only vaguely perceived when he ran after the other student and disappeared out of sight. I knew what game I had gotten myself into; I had seen it happen to so many others, and most recently, my former best friend. Still, they hurt worse than anything else, those knives which continued to cut out my heart from my chest. And, for the first time in a very long time, a tear ran down over my left cheek.