Chapter 43

Petals

(Same day)

I waited just as I was told and I waited some more and some more. I began strolling around the office, trying to block out the sounds spilling over from the grounds. Clashes, yells and crying echoed through the night sky. The flashing lights of spells gleamed in the window but I did not dare approach it and look out upon the scenes of a war. I felt burning guilt as I hid in the headmaster's office, turning a blind eye to those who were suffering, those who were dying.

Severus told me to wait and I had waited a very long time! But he said that he would come back and I was surviving on that notion. He was going to come back. He was not even going out into the fray; he told me that he was just going to meet the Dark Lord in the Shrieking Shack. Just? It was never an easy or simple task being in Lord Voldemort's presence but Severus was one of his most trusted deatheaters so surely he was safe. Yet, something did not feel right. Why would Voldemort keep one of his most skilled deatheaters out of battle for so long? Unless Severus was now fighting. But, no, he had told me that he was going to go speak with the Dark Lord and then return.

He wouldn't have lied. Or would he? He told me that he would go and come back and I trusted him. I do trust him. He told me he would come back. He told me he would come back and that he loved me.

He loved me. He would come back because he loved me. But what if he couldn't come back? What if he was in some danger? Or what if something worse had happened?

"You have fought valiantly," said the high pitched voice of Voldemort over the grounds. "Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured." He paused and a thick hush fell across the school. "I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time, I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who tried to conceal you from me. One hour."

I shivered as the last icy words waved over me, but this was it. It was now time for me to find Severus.

I sprinted down the stairs from the headmaster's office. The castle seemed to be empty. I ran throw the halls, noticing scorched walls and battered suits of armor as I went. My footsteps pounded against the marble floors. Then suddenly another set of footsteps accompanied mine. I turned the corner quickly and peered out from behind it. I saw Harry Potter walking almost trance like in the direction in which I have just come. His eyes were wide and cast straight ahead as if he had just had a terrible shock. He was holding something very tightly in his fist. It may have been a vile but I was not sure. I thought of stopping Harry and telling him that Severus was looking for him but then realized that even if I knew where Severus was Harry probably would not want to confront a man whom he thought was trying to kill him, so I decided to leave it.

I waited for Harry to pass and then continued to run until I was in the entrance hall. Once on the main floor I knew why the castle was so quiet; everyone seemed to be gathered in the great hall, mourning their loved ones or treating their injuries just as Voldemort had instructed them to do.

I exited the castle from the front doors and gazed horrorstruck at the grounds littered with bodies not yet recovered. I closed my eyes tight and wondered forest or shack. I decided to check for Severus in the Shrieking Shack first and then travel to the Forbidden Forest if I could not find him in there.

I decided to try apparating to save time. I suspected that the deatheaters broke throw the normal enchantments to prevent the ability to apparate and disapparate on school grounds.

With my eyes still tightly shut I spun on the spot and was lifted into a small, twisting world as I disapparated but then, only seconds later, my feet were planted firmly on the ground with a pop. My nostrils were filled with the musty smell of aged dust and neglect.

I pulled out my wand and lit it, shining the light around the dark room waiting for an enemy to jump out at me and attack.

"Severus," I whispered.

No response.

"Severus," I whispered again.

Only silent followed. There seemed to be no signs of life in this house.

I walk down a narrow hallway. The light of my wand cast eerie shadows along the windowless corridor. There was a single door at the end of the hall. It waited for me ominously at the end of that hall, which seemed to stretch. As I moved towards the door it seemed to be moving further away from me. With a trembling hand I reached for the doorknob, although it ran away from me. I reached and reached until finally my fingers made contact with the cold metal of the doorknob. I pushed it open with a creak.

The room was very dark. "Severus," I called into the thick shadows. Something didn't feel right. I pointed my lit wand at the ground by my feet; my white sneakers glowed in the dim light. From the doorway I continued to point my wand at the ground. My wand light inched across the floor like a cockroach. And then it hit Red. Red, only a few feet from me. My body stiffened and my heart rate slowed. I continued to dip my wand light deeper and further into the Red. The pace of the light moved with the time of my heartbeat, very, very slowly. Thump, more Red. Thump, Red Apples. Thump, Red Christmas Light. Thump, Red Paint. Thump, Red Roses. Thump. Thump. THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, Something White. I drew a breath but forgot to exhale. I stepped into the room and slammed the door behind me. "Knox," I whispered and my wand light went out.

Severus's pale fingers plucked at a single red rose. He pried off the petals one by one and let them fall around him. The rose never seemed to have as shortage of silky petals for Severus to rip away. I was not aware of where we were. I asked Severus but he did not answer me, just looked down at his feet watching as the petals he dropped floated to the ground. He then knelt and sat cross legged on the floor in the pile of RED…petals he had made. I too lowered myself into the RED beside him. Severus continued to drop the petals around him. I scooted close to Severus where I was nested in RED…where I was nested in even more RE- petals. Warm, Warm petals. I put my head on Severus's shoulder. "Why are you doing that?" I asked him, staring down at his pale hand in the RED…staring down at his hand plucking the petals off the rose. Severus wouldn't answer me nor would he respond to my head on his shoulder. I wanted to grab his hands to stop him from pulling off the petals, but I couldn't; I was too afraid. He began to pull at the petals faster. "I told you I would come back," Severus suddenly said, his tone empty of emotion. "I knew you would come back," I told him. Severus did not reply but laid down in the RED, in the WARM RED, in the RE- in the petals. I cuddled up to him, being buried in petals, more and more petals as he ripped at them faster and faster. I wrapped one arm around him and rested my head on his chest, trying to hear his heartbeat. RED, RED, RED. "Well, you did come back!" I said with frustration that he was not saying anything. I sat back up and looked down at him. "YOU DID COME BACK!" I shouted. Now at light speed Severus pulled the petals from the rose. "You did," I said softly. Severus slowly turned his face towards me. He stared up at me with wide, dark eyes and then he closed them. I looked down at his hands and suddenly there were only two petals left on the rose. Severus slowly pulled off one of the two and it danced down beside him. I lay down in the red, red petals and curled up beside him once again. "I love you, Severus," I whispered into his ear and the last red, red petal fell of its own accord.

I picked up one of Severus's unmoving, white hands from the red and put it to my lips; then I carefully intertwined my fingers with his.

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