Holding Out For A Hero: Ella Mae Bowen version.

For the few weeks that we had together before his Victor's Tour, we spent swimming or just rowing to the bank. I would get home from school and he would be waiting by the shore for me. Even in our time together, Finnick never brought up the games. We spoke of other things, like fishing or schoolwork. Sometimes I would read to him. Like my favorite books from before the dark days that my mother kept. They were old but still good stories. Most of them were love stories, but Finnick didn't mind listening to them. He liked the one about the girl and boy who fell in love but the girl mistook the boy for proud so she avoided him at first, but eventually they both saw they were wrong and were happily married. It was sweet, but a little silly. When I didn't read to him, Finnick would tell me about music. I loved how animated he became when he spoke about it. He would tap out beats and hum melodies. He had a beautiful singing voice. There were days when Finnick wouldn't want to talk. In fact, he would sit on the edge of the bank and stare at the ocean for hours, sometimes not even acknowledging I was there until nightfall. He would get upset and angry. He would refuse to talk to me, and most days I would wait until the storm passed. I would wait on him. But some days I would get angry too. And hurt. And frustrated. One day, Finnick became terribly angry and violent. He threw rocks in the ocean and growled obscenities. "Finnick…" I tried to reason with him but he didn't calm down. Instead, he sat down and just watched the sea. I got bored waiting. So I sang. The melody was simple, there were only a few notes to it. I hummed most of it to myself. The part about the girl falling in love with the boy, the part about the boy being trapped by another engagement, the part about they're sad departure from each other, drowning together.

"Waves of anger and tides of rage,

Washing over the sands of sage,

Oh my love, trapped in this cage,

Please set me free, my dear.

I'll set you free my dear."

I sang, searching the beach for seashells and hiding them in my hands. I had blocked Finnick from my thoughts, mad that he had gotten so angry with me.

It grew quiet; I sat down taking a string from my pocket and stringing the shells along. "Annie…" Finnick breathed. There was more to his sentence, I could sense it but he just fell quiet.

"Yes Finnick?" I asked him.

He sat down beside me, with an inquisitive look. "What was that?" His mood had calmed dramatically.

I shrugged, looking up for a short second to meet wondering green eyes. "Some song my mother taught me," I told him, only looking at the chipped shells in my hand. I tossed them to the side, unhappy with my work.

He inched closer to me. "What's it about?" We both leaned back into the hills of sand, staring up at the cloudy sky.

I sighed, "It's about two lovers at sea," I told him breathlessly. It made me sad to think about them, two lovers so in love, choosing their fate, and then sacrificing everything for each other. I looked at Finnick, he seemed to be thinking the song over.

"It was nice," He muttered.

If only he had known the entire song…he might have thought different. I especially didn't appreciate the morbid meaning until later. "Are you ok?" I had asked him, curious and worried.

"I'm sorry," He told me. And he would keep telling me that exact phrase. Every time he got lost, I would sing and he would always remember where he was, whom he was with, or what he was doing.

And each time I told him, "It's ok, Finn…I know." I always meant that. Even when I wanted to be mad at him, I meant that.

"I don't want to go on this tour," Finnick told me one day after we had shared a melody together.

I frowned, "I don't want you to go." I took a deep breath and continued with, "But you have to. And then you can come back and we'll do this."

Finnick looked up at me from tying a rope in knots and smiled, "Swim?"

I smirked at him, "Yeah. And talk. And sing. And laugh." I said finally, wanting all the more to hear his laughter. He rarely did anymore. And that's how he left me. Angry and alone. I remember him leaving that cool day. The tide was harsh and the wind was sharp. I woke up that cloudy morning, my heart aching and stomach churning.

"Are you alright, Annie?" My mother asked, stretching out her hand to feel my forehead. "You look so pale my dear." My being unable to sleep had sparked my mother's worry.

I nodded my head, "I'm fine mama," I told her quietly.

"Are you going to see Finnick off?" She asked, preparing father's tea for when he came in from the sea.

"I guess I have to." I said. I never raised my voice, not for the entire conversation. I wanted to be as quiet as a mouse, because then maybe no one would notice that I wanted to scream. Maybe they wouldn't notice my exasperation. I left early and told my mother I'd meet her at the station to see him go along with the rest of the district, but I had to see him first. I had to see him face to face.

I knocked on the door of his new home, no one heard since the Capitol crowd outshone me. There were cameras waiting for him, stylists who had just finished with him. Laughing, giggling, and babbling on about the handsome, famous, wondrous Finnick Odair, but he was nowhere to be found. "Finnick!" I called out, searching behind the house, near the wharf. I walked passed large rocks that jutted from the dunes to the nicer part of the beach, unlike the parts of the shore we usually inhabited.

He looked up. He was so handsome it sent my heart racing. "Annie?" He answered blindly, finally spotting me. The way he said my name gave me chill bumps. He dwelled in the tide. I rolled up the legs of my pants to join him, but the water was ice cold. Finnick stood in it like it was a warm bath. I leaped from the water and focused back on him.

"I've been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing here?" I asked, shivering. It was much too cold to be out near the water, unless you were safely tucked in a boat and wearing the warm, protective suits our fathers' usually dawned this time of year.

Finnick smirked at my reactions and shook his head. "I needed some fresh ocean air," He told me as a large gust of wind and tide drowned out his words.

I took in a deep breath expecting the salty air that I had grown up on and instead caught a strong scent that was quiet unfamiliar…Capitol cologne. "You won't find that here." I said frowning. It was a sweet scent, not entirely unpleasant, but very much overpowering.

Finnick chuckled and pulled his white button up to his nose, wrinkling it and laughing with me. He pushed his hair back to bring back some composure, but I kept laughing and eventually he did too. Finnick suddenly turned to me, "Mags said I'll be home soon." It's as if he could see how much I missed him. Like it was evident on my face. Surely, he couldn't? "What do you do to keep your mind off things?"

I smiled warmly, or as sweetly as I could. "Tie knots," I said quietly. His hand swiftly grazed over where his rope bracelet was and I let my hand meet his, keeping the most sincere expression of joy I could muster. His collar folded over so I reached up to pat it down. I backed away from him to get a full view of him…he was wonderful. I let a small solemn smile cross my face and added more gusto for fear he'd see my heart break. "They're going to love you." I told him, grinning.

He watched me with some concern and without missing a beat, allowed his insecurities to swallow him up one last time before he had to build his walls of confidence. "They will?"

"Yeah…how could they not?" I asked, placing the first stone at the foot of the wall. I wanted him to be strong before them…so he wouldn't falter, so he wouldn't hurt, so he would come back to me. His pretty green eyes tried to stay lit with the same fire and pride I had remembered from long ago, but his hope had gone and fear had replaced it. I hugged him and held him close. It was stupid to become so vulnerable on that beach, but that's what we both were… vulnerable, weak and wounded children, hiding in the only place of safety we knew.

"Annie, I'm going to miss you," He told me, leaning down and burying his face in my hair. My heart ripped into shreds, leaving my chest with an empty, hollow feeling. I wish I had never had Finnick Odair in my possession. They started calling his name and I knew he had to face the cameras and the adoring fans.

"I'm going to miss you too Finn," I whispered, but he was already unwrapping himself from my arms. He smiled at me one last time and then walked up to them. I never met them at the station. Instead, I sat by the cold ocean and let my heart break. Tears fell because I knew I should have told him, but my pride stopped me. I was embarrassed by my silly-crying schoolgirl performance, but then also by my jaded old heart that had aged before it was meant to. I was a young girl with the wisdom of a young woman. Because although I knew it wasn't wise, I couldn't keep myself from falling hopelessly in love with the boy who I had thought so proud. I fell in love with the boy who had gone, conquered, and came back incomplete. I knew then, that day that I had fallen in love with the boy with the trident. And it broke my heart.